Guidelines to a good leader (Mini series #1)

In this episode of the Bible Gal podcast, we start a mini series breaking up the scripture 1 Timothy 3:1-13 into chunks, and diving deep into the guidance and instructions God has given us on how to be good church leaders. 

In this episode we cover: 

1. 1 Timothy 3:1-3
2. Psalm 139:23-24
3. Isaiah 43:19 
4. Not leading in a negative/ condescending way, but encouraging, uplifting, building them up, and supporting them. Reframing from expressing our disappointment.
5. Having self control over our emotions, and being mindful of how we handle our feelings, when we are not in a good mood. That we are wise knowing others are looking at us, and having a Godly character reputation, and seeking opportunity to teach and model this to others. 
6. Allowing God to change our hearts, to love people more. To be in the word, so when we have the opportunity to talk about Jesus we are prepared to speak.
7. Being sober, and leading by example by leading with a sober mind and gentle approach.
8. Let go of our love for money, and give that to the hands of God, and use these situations to be honest with one another and modeling how you Choose Christ over the money.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Bamba Gamma podcast, and I'm Miguel Amber. I'm just a Proverbs 71 woman empowering women to step into their on-the-fire for the Lord mentality. I encourage us to live in our faith, to grow, and to believe in the calling that God has for us. My vision is to help women break the chains of their past of inner struggles and fears to create new chapters that only our Father can write for us. I'm on a mission and passion to empower you and all the women out there. This is going to be your new favorite podcast for daily devotionals and Bible study chats.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Hey guys, welcome back to episode 22 of the podcast. Um today I decided that we are going to get into a mini-series called Guidelines to a Good Leader. So I started writing, and I literally had only gotten like three verses in, and I was like, oh my gosh, my notes are like five pages long. So I decided to chunk this up into pieces, and I realized it's going to take more than just like a part one and part two deal. So anyway, I'm rambling. Um yeah, so gonna decide to make this a mini-series. So there will probably be three of them. Um, might be four, not really sure. We're gonna kinda see how it goes. Um, because I don't want to pack too much into like, you know, each episode. I want it to be enough where it's enough for you guys to like think about and write notes about and um get it like a takeaway from it, and then you can kind of like you know chunk it up and um so that way it's easier to remember and understand. But before I start anything, I just really want to start in prayer. Um, dear Heavenly Father, I just ask that you open our hearts, you open our minds, you fill us up with your Holy Spirit, fill us up with your daily bread. I just pray over every listener that's listening, Father, um, that you speak to them during this word, Father, that you give them the lesson and the message that they need to hear specifically for them. I lift them up wherever they are, whether they're on their way to work, uh whether at home or whether they're somewhere else, Father, that you just keep them safe and protect them, Father. Um, and um I pray that you fill them up with your daily bread, Father, which is your word and um what they need to hear. And I just pray over me that you speak through me, Father, that you use um use me to help flow all the things that need to be said. Amen. All right, so um, first things first, I really want to mention um I started a new prayer system. Um, it was laid on my heart to create something more personal and easier for people to um have prayer requests. So I have a Google form that way. I just thought it would be like organized that way. Um, but yeah, so it's like a Google form. You can fill it out and it just asks you like for your name, your prayer requests. Um, you know, and then if you let me pray for you, I absolutely would love to pray with you. Um, so there's an option in there to like drop your phone number or your email or like however you're comfortable with you know sharing contact information so we can like get connected and just chat and you know get to know each other and so that I can actually like pray with you via phone, voice record, whatever. Um, I just feel like it's more personal and I just like really enjoyed connecting with you guys in that matter. So yeah, there's that you can find this um in so many places, but um you can find it in the show notes. Um, I have a link tree at the bottom that it's in there. I have it on my social media account and on my Instagram. It's not on TikTok because TikTok doesn't really let me add like a link that's not lemon, and I don't even know what that is. Anyway um, so yeah, so I you can find it on my Instagram stories. Um, I have a highlight again, it's in the link trades in the show notes, kind of a little bit of everywhere. Um, so yeah, where you can always shoot me an email, which is your babagala gmail.com. I say that every episode. You can always shoot me an email, or um like if you just reach out to me, however, on socials, or if you have my number or whatever, you can just reach out to me and ask for it and I can send it to you. Um, but I'm gonna get jumping into the word here because there's a lot to unpack. So God gives us a detailed and very specific instructions and guidelines for what a good leader in Christ looks like. And so we're gonna first start in 1 Timothy chapter 3, verse 1. He says, This is a trustworthy saying. If someone aspires to be a church leader, he desires an honorable position. Um, so he starts by saying, you know, when you want to be a church leader, this is a very honorable position to have. This is a very, you know, high, well thought of thing to do and to have. Um, and he thinks very highly of his leaders. Um and I don't want any of us to miss that. Yes, it's just an it's also an honorable position, but I want us to see here that he's saying that all of his leaders, not you know, yes, he all of his children of God and all of his leaders that lead people to Jesus and you know, disciple um are disciple makers and they disciple disciples. Um you know, that is such a he honors you so much in that position, and he really thinks so highly um of that and um of of you know of those leaders. Um so I really want to talk about this main point here that's really going to tie in everything that is said in scripture, and it's that all the time people are watching us friends, family, people we are influencing, people that we're bringing to Jesus, people in the church, strangers, people in the checkout line, if we lion, right? Everybody is always watching us, and you may think like nobody's watching me, but they are, and they pay attention. Um, and so that's why being a leader have being a good leader is really crucial because you really have to be mindful. It's almost very, very similar to the concept of a parent. You know, you can't just say things, you know, it's like a not as I say, do as I say, not as I do, right? Like, no, it doesn't really work that way. Um, and you know, they do do what you do. That's funny. Anyway, so yeah, they they follow what you do, they see um how you act, they see how you behave, and they get people either get encouraged or um, you know, influenced or sometimes even discouraged, you know, discouraged by the way that we are acting as leaders. And so it's super essential um that if we are going to speak about the gospel of Jesus and we are going to be leaders, that you know, we need to lead by example and having godly character, and we need to model um for them. And so then he goes on to say in verse 2, and I'm chunking this because verse 2 is very dense. So 2A um says, so a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. So just in this one sentence here, there's so much material because the word reproach means to express disapproval, um, criticism, disappointment to somebody, right? Making somebody feel ashamed of their behavior. So if I plug that in here, it says, so a church leader must be a man whose life is above expressing disapproval, expressing criticism, above expressing disappointment to somebody, above expressing or making somebody feel ashamed of their behavior. So he's saying here that a church leader, we should not be teaching people with that kind of negative influence. That when we lead somebody to Jesus and they make a mistake or they make the wrong move, that we don't show our disapproval because making them feel like a failure, you know, that's going to push them away. And yes, God wants us to learn from our mistakes and he guides us to become more like him and less like our worldly selves. However, never does God want us to feel like failures, like we suck or that we're not doing a good enough job. He never puts us down, right? Think about how God models uh build you up, right? And and how he guides you. There's never been a time where God's been like putting you down in a sense, right? He's always encouraging um and he lifts you up and he's supportive and he guides. Um, and so if you ever feel like you're not good enough, you know, and you think that's from the Lord, I just want to say that it's not, it's from the enemy. Um, that he always approaches us in such a respectful and loving manner. So we need to model that as leaders. And so he expects his leaders to be like him and to also lead with that encouragement, that respect, and that loving manner. I want to personally say that I am guilty of this on accident because, you know, somebody that I'm leading to Christ and that I'm doing life with makes a mistake that I deeply care about. You know, sometimes I accidentally show my feelings that I'm disappointed in their decision. Um, and I let them down because I make them think that, you know, they messed, you know, I make them feel negatively about themselves. And that's not at all how I should be leading. And I need to repent for that and I need to work on that and be mindful of that, right? And I can say, how often do do we all accidentally, out of compassion and love for Jesus, do this to somebody that we're leading? Um, you know, you just want to see them growing in their faith so much. You want them to have a close relationship with Jesus that sometimes when they do mess up, we get disappointed that they're not where you want them to be in their faith. I don't think this is talked about enough on the leader end of the spectrum how often this happens. And so without meaning to, we show our disappointment, right? But we really need to be mindful and we need to remind ourselves that their faith is not late. It's on time, it's on God's time. God stays reminding me of that. He's like, hey, relax. They're making progress. You're doing your job. Let me do mine, right? And so this really leads me into the next part of verse 2. Um, Timothy, 1 Timothy chapter 3, verse 2b. I'm breaking up um I can't talk today. Verse 2 in a lot of. But in the second part of verse 2, he says, we must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. Again, so much to unpack here in just this one sentence. Um, but having self-control on controlling our feelings, because this really ties into the first part of the verse. Um, and that's why it all goes together. But we're gonna chunk it up and really study it. Um having self-control and controlling your emotions and your feelings when we feel sad that the person you were encouraging isn't moving at the pace that you were hoping for, that we have the self-control not to express that out loud, that we remain encouraging, loving, uplifting, and allow God the space to do the correcting and the changing of the heart because that's not our job. God reminds me of that so much because I definitely personally um I'm real guilty of putting responsibility on my shoulders that's not mine. Um, I just care so much and I just have such a big compassionate heart and I really take being a leader for Christ so seriously that I often take it too seriously and I get wrapped up into, you know, the part of the job that's not my part of mine. Yeah, it's you know, part of the job that's not me mine, if that makes sense. I keep myself in my words. Um so i I have to remind myself, you know what? It's my job to listen, it's my job to encourage, it's my job to love, it's my job to be kind, it's my job to have the fruits of the spirit and to be uplifting, but it's God's job to correct and to change the heart and to be, you know, and to do that part of the job. And I have to allow God that space in their life and in my own. And you know, we have to remind ourselves of that. And I encourage you to pray over that when you're struggling with that, to ask God to help us be more aware of when we do this and to repent for when we are doing it, and to really try to, you know, steer away from that. Um you know, because it's really wise to practice self-control. And for example, when we're angry with somebody, we instead of lashing out, we have to hold that self-control in. Right? And we have to show wisess and we we know that it's not good to act out on our emotions, right? And um so we try not to, but we really have to be mindful that it's not just about us la not lashing out in anger or you know uh emotion when we're emotional, especially as women, um, that we control the way we react for the sake of handling the situation right, but because again, people are always watching us, always watching our character, especially as children of God, especially as leaders, we have to be mindful how we handle situations, especially when we are around people we are leading. I will say right now in this example, there are people at work that I'm leading to Christ, and there are situations at work that can be very frustrating, and I have to be very careful about how I react to situations at work because I'm leading to people to Christ there, and they see my character. So if they see me lashing out, they're going to most likely think it's okay and to follow that, or they're gonna have questions about you know my faith and they're gonna question me as a Christian, and I don't ever want that. I want them to know exactly who I am, that I am a child of God, um, and that I will obey, and I want them to see my godly character and to be encouraged to be the light and to also have that godly character. So when we sense ourselves feeling emotional, angry, irritable, lazy, right? Like whatever, any of those human feelings, we need to really pray and stop and strive to be more like Jesus and lead by example by controlling those emotions and step away and pray when we're feeling off. You know, Jesus was human, and this was part of the great thing of Jesus when he became human, right? He felt all of the human emotions, he was tempted with absolutely everything that could he could possibly be tempted about, and he still did not sin. And so I just encourage everybody today, including myself. It just is so encouraging and inspiration inspiring, I guess, to say that you know, he had all those emotions. He got angry, he was sad, he was butthurt, so to speak. He felt lazy or emotional or sensitive or had mental breakdowns, but he still did not sin in those emotions, he had self-control in those emotions. You know, I also want to say that this is a really great teaching moment, and this is where the wise comes into play, you know, because when you are feeling down, you know, being wise and having that wise eyes and character to see that this is actually an opportunity to encourage the people around you to also have self-control. Let me let me give you an example. Telling a coworker how you're feeling, right? You can say, hey, I've been having a rough morning. I woke up late, I spilled my coffee, left my lunchbox on the counter, and I'm really just feeling super flustered and irritated this morning. So please give me a minute. I need to go into the bathroom and pray. That right there is using your opportunity when you're irritated and having a rough time to live it to the fullest and model in the right way to handle your emotions, showing them that when you feel that way, you pray and that you have self-control over that emotion. Um, and that you're modeling, you know, that you step away and that you pray and that you come back out, that you have the self-control um and the strength through God that when you did pray on those days to continue to act with a loving and a kind heart. And if that means you have to go to the bathroom seven times that day and pray, girl, so be it. I've been there, you know, and just continuing to be the light, even though you're not in the mood to, but showing and modeling the obedience in your faith. Um, because by doing that, it really generates, which leads into the third part of the sentence, a good reputation for yourself. Full disclosure, no, we don't need to be losing sleep and stressing over how people think about us, right? That's not healthy. However, I do want to say that it is important that we are mindful of how we act and how people view us because we are children of God and we are representing him. We are his, you know, ambassadors, we're his children, you know, we're his disciples and we're leaders, and it's important that we represent him in the right light. Um, so I'm gonna continue reading here. It says 1 Timothy 3, 2C. Two is a lot. Um it says he must enjoy having guests in his home and he must be able to teach. So let me start by a mini testimony and say that I was very introverted my whole life. I've always been an introvert. Um, if you've listened in previous episodes, you have heard me talk about my anxiety, and honestly, that is a big reason why I uh have been introverted. And so I would only really speak to a very small selection of people who were in my inner circle. Um and through growing my faith um with God and through God, he's really changed me in that. And so honestly, I catch so many people nowadays say to me, like including my husband, um, oh, like you always have to talk to somebody, like you always gotta say hi and check up on somebody, you know, like when we're at church and um like for example, when we're at church and we have our schedules so we don't have to feed the baby during service, but um I'll usually like check her diaper on purpose and be like, Oh, her diaper's wet, like I have to go change her. And he's like, You just want to go say hi to people, and I'm like, you know what? Like, maybe you're right, but like I have to go say hi, I have to go check on people. Um yeah, so um, but anyways, that is God. That's all God, like that is not me, that is not who I used to be, that is not anything of my human worldly nature at all. That is all God changing my heart, and that is all God, you know, his presence and his spirit living in me. So I really encourage you if you're struggling with this to pray and to ask God to help you love others the way that he does every day, pray for this and and watch him change that in your heart and you know have the desire to be more around people. And even if you say to yourself, I don't like people, I got two things for this. One, speak life, not death over your life. So saying I don't like people is speaking death in this it in the sense of saying like you're speaking negatively, and of course you're not gonna like people because you're speaking it into an existence instead of saying I'm working on loving people more, right? Like, so you really need to speak life over yourself. But also to the the second point is host anyway. Even if you are anxious or you're not a people person, open up your door and allow guests into your home for the sake of creating the opportunity to minister to them or just simply be the light to them. You don't always have to make every conversation about Jesus, but to be the light and to bring people to Jesus just so that they see your godly character and they see your light shining bright, you know. Even if you don't want to socialize in a worldly way, that's fine. I get it. I've been there so much, but for God, you show up and you open your door and you obey and you submit to obey his command. And his command is to go out and to make disciples, right? So for God, you open your door and you let people in your home and you tell them about Jesus and you be the light and you plant those seeds and you pray for them and you pray over them, right? And so he really says we have to be able to teach, um, we have to be able to be in the word. Um, we can't host people and tell them about Jesus and teach them if we haven't been in the word ourselves and we don't educate ourselves and spend time with God ourselves and hear from him and learn from him. We have to do all these things. And in order to have the knowledge and the understanding to teach others, we have to ask ourselves how much am I in the word? How much am I learning from God? Have I heard his voice lately? Have I heard him teach me new something lately? When was the last time I heard that? When was the last time I learned something new? When was the last time I memorized scripture? Do I spend time with God every morning? Ask yourself that. Um, and do a self-evaluation. And if not, then you need to see where the improvements need to be made so that way when the opportunity comes up and God says, Hey, here's your opportunity to speak to somebody, to open up your home, you're ready. So then here in 1 Timothy 3 3, he says, He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. So he says here, we need to be sober, we need to be awake spiritually. You know, again, leading by example. And if God instructs us not to get drunk, that we obey his word, that we're not drinking heavily. You know, yeah, sure, having having a glass of wine or a drink at dinner or two or three beers while you're cooking out with the family, but having the self-control, there's that word again, to stay sober, um, that's that's the key here. But going to a bar, getting drunk, or you know, going out and getting wasted by the people that you're leading to Jesus, like say you go out with somebody and you're like, oh yeah, like, you know, we're gonna go to dinner, you know, after the movie, and then you go out to dinner and you like throw back shots and get really drunk. And like you had good intentions of going out and speaking to somebody about Jesus, but then you got drunk, you know, like you Jesus sat with the people of the sinners, but he didn't sin with them, and so that's really important here that we're not getting drunk, that we're being sober because we need to have a sober mind. Um, and we need to lead by example and to express that we are um good leaders. And you know, he says, Don't be violent. That means if you're driving them to church, and I'm so guilty of this, guys. Um, so I'm really preaching to myself here, but you're on your way to church and you finally got somebody to go with you that you've been asking to go, and you're driving there together. Somebody cuts you off and you flip out and you get mad and you cuss out and road rage, right? That's expressing violence. And we need to be encouraged in even small violent situations like this as a teaching moment, as a modeling moment, right? Again, being wise in that moment when you could have been angry and you could have lashed out, but you had self-control and you showed them to encourage them, you know, that honestly being a whole two whole seconds later is not going to change anything. And so really you could just, when that happens, you could just stay in the moment, enjoy the car ride that you have with that person, um, you know, and be like, it was like let's say that person cut you off, right? So instead of flipping out, cussing out, and having road rage, you could be like, oh my gosh, let me send a quick prayer for them because I hope that they get where they're going safely. And just modeling that. Um, so yeah, I don't know what else to say because I really need to work on that myself. But um so then I'm gonna read the next part here. Um, in 3B, he says he must be gentle and not quarrel. Let me try that again. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. Okay, so this is super dense here, but in this verse, he speaks about uh internal personality habits to be mindful of. First, he starts with gentleness. When we're creating a relationship with somebody to bring them to Jesus, we approach them gently, we encourage, we invite them to church, but we don't yell at them when they don't. You know, when talking to them about life instead of saying things like, Well, that's why having God in your life is good. So I don't know. But approach it by listening to what they have to say, understanding their feelings in the matter, letting them know that, hey, I'm always here for you, and that Jesus is too if you're willing. Hey, can I pray with you? Do you want to pray together? Right? Instead of pressuring them into doing something, but being encouraging. Again, encouraging and uplifting, guiding. Um, but then he says quarrelsome. Okay, so let's look at this. He says easily angered, looks for argument, feeding into arguing, fighting, picking fights, lashing out. All of this is quarrelsome. Um, you know, lashing out because you're sensitive, being petty or in a conversation, these are all examples. Um, I'm gonna expose myself and say that I struggle with being easily angered and getting caught up sometimes into getting stuck in an argument that I didn't want to get myself into. But praying about these things and asking God to help change us and asking him to seek our hearts and to really expose what's hurting us, as it says in Psalms 139, 23, and 24. Search me, O God, know my heart, test me, know my anxious thoughts, point out everything in me that offends you, and lead me the path to an everlasting life. He says back in verse 3 in Timothy, you know, not love money, and this means like not stressing it until you're sick and burn out and burn out paying your bills, fantasizing about financial freedom and not having to live paycheck to paycheck, and speaking over it, saying things like, Must be nice to have money to do that, or I wish I had money to buy clothes like that, or simply just overworking yourself, chasing every dollar that you can, making money your number one priority. All of that are examples of loving money, but letting that go and letting God provide and bless you and give you fruit, and not being caught by saying things like that, um, and giving too much attention to the idea of wishing that you had more money, because being caught loving money is literally one of the most things that will pull us away from our relationship with God. Um, and it really shows in your character. You might not think it does, but it does. Um, and again, as a leader, we really need to be mindful of that. And I know it's super hard. Um, that's a super hard thing that a lot of us struggle with. Again, I really just say, hey, let's pray, you know, and let's ask God to help us not have that desire, um, to help confront us when we are having moments of loving money that we're like, hey God, you know, when I am having moments like that, like bring these, please call me out and bring it to my attention um so that you can be more mindful of it and repent for the times that you, you know, have done that. But instead being caught praising God for how he's financially provided for you, you know, um, and just that you trust him, even though it looks rough and that you don't know how it's all gonna work out, but that you have faith that he's gonna provide, you know, in Isaiah 43, 19, he says, For I'm about to do something new. See, I have already begun. Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness, I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Um Yeah, so I'm gonna wrap it up there. I just feel like I talked about so many verses. We're gonna continue on at the next episode on Monday. Um, let me give you some real quick takeaways and then I'll wrap up. So the one I have not leaving in a negative or condescending way, but being like Jesus by being encouraging, lifting, building them up, supporting them, reframing from expressing our disappointment. My second point is having self-control over over or I can't talk, over our emotions, being mindful of how we handle our feelings when we're not in a good mood, that we are wise knowing others are looking at us and having godly character and having that godly character reputation and really seeking the opportunity to teach and model this to others in those moments. Um my third point is I have five total. Um my third point is allowing God to change our hearts and to love people more and to really be in the word so that when we have the opportunity to talk about Jesus, that we're prepared to speak. Um the fourth, the fourth, the fourth point, being sober and leading by example and leading with a sober mind and a gentle approach and not violent. And then the last point is letting go of our love for money and giving that to the hands of God and using these situations to be honest with one another and modeling how you choose Christ over money. So, with that being said, I'm gonna end very quickly in prayer and wrap this up here because I try really hard not to go over 30 minutes and I'm about to. Dear Heavenly Father, I just want to lift up every single listener to you. I just pray for protection over them that wherever they are, wherever they're going, Father, I lift them up to you. I pray that you protect them in their journeys as they continue to tell people about Jesus, lead people to others, um, just keep them safe, Father, and keep them healthy so that they can continue to do your will, Father. I pray over peace over their hearts that they will be able to have um bold faith, that they will not be anxious or nervous about any of it, but that they will have peace in their heart and boldness to be able to move out in their faith um with fire for you. Um, amen. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening on today's episode. I'll see you guys next time.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you'd like to hear more, there are new episodes that drop every Monday and Thursday. If you liked what you heard, please help your gal out by leaving a review. You can also give using the link below. I'd love to pray for you. If you have any prayer requests, please send me an email to your BibleGal at gmail.com, which is also in the links below, along with all my other social media so you know where to find me. And remember, sisters, walk fully in faith this week. God is with you every step of the way.