15. y’all don’t care if we dial in, right?? ft. channing and tristan

This week on Dialing In with Brett, Brett sees Chappell Roan, reveals why he had to leave a 6th grade sleepover, and dials in a peculiar couple he met at a bar. 

Tell us about your weird ass job, hobby, experience, etc. for the chance to be ‘dialed in’: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSerqy2sHRFesTn65EgKxevOoT-plK7VzxUk4nMqkmz-E-pFKw/viewform?usp=header

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Transcript

gonna need a glamour filter for this

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi, this is Brett. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I there's no way. Hello? What a dick. Hey y'all! Welcome back to dialing in with Brett. I'm so happy to have you guys here. If it looks like I've slept two hours in the past three days, it's because I have. Um, and also we pre-recorded the last part, so don't remember how I look in this clip, but the the end of the episode, you guys can remember me like that. But you don't need to remember the and I want to do like a pretty heavy like airbrush.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

A glamour filter.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Glamour filter. Oh, I I don't know if I posted this. No, I don't think I did. Why the fuck are men wear using the like enhancement filter on TikToks? Like, what are you doing, pretty girl? Like, you're gonna piss me off.

do better ladies

SPEAKER_00 1:01

I wanna talk about straight men for a second. Just like straight men have it so fucking easy. Straight men can look like any bitch I went to high school with and have like an ounce of humor, and it's like social media wise, like you're set for life. Like, I'm over here doing the fucking monkey dance. For what? And for what? And men just like literally will like post a video of them like backing up with an outfit or like saying the like most overused tweet in 2013 in video format now, and it will just like and people in the comments will be like, I need to beep, you beep, beep, beep, beep. Star, star, star, star, star, star, star. Do you do weddings? I will literally suck the skin off of your you know what. Like, girls are willing to like lick a bathroom at LAX over like a man with like no personality. It's scary. Girls, do better. Please don't give the the men this much power. It just makes me sad because it's like, damn, y'all are like so much hotter than these men who also have no personality. Um, I

chappell r. concert

SPEAKER_00 2:04

saw Chapel Rone the other day, which also this is something recently, as someone who you know is like an online persona and has like gotten shat on before. It's like I feel bad shitting on other people, except for a few people. But it's like, yeah, like I get it, it sucks for CV. So I'm gonna be I'm gonna be sweet with this. I went to see Chapel Roan. I didn't see Chapel Roan because no one could see Chapel Roan because she wanted to do it in a field outside of this a stadium instead of doing it in the stadium, which like okay, personal preference, but I'm almost like I couldn't see the girl. And it's like if I'm going to a concert, I want to see a concert. Like, it was just like a Lollapalooza ass set. It was good as hell. The girl's so talented, and I had a great time. Could not see her though. So I'm like, at this point, like I could have just like hooked up a JBL and have my friends over, and we could have just danced to her. Again, she sounded great. And then also it was like there was two screens. Obviously, one screen, like a huge tree is blocking, and then you look to another one, tree's blocking it, and then you look past the tree, huge speaker blocking it. Again, so I saw Chaperon. Did I really see Chaperon?

unknown 3:15

No.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Again, great, really talented girl, but I also am like, oh, you don't like playing in stadiums? Okay, well, I would I would love to see the artist performing that I spent $200 on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

As a tall person, do you feel very self-conscious going to concerts because you know you're ruining people's experience?

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Have I told you guys about I went to a free Kesha concert in college and we like got there randomly early. So we're like right at the front, and these two people were like heckling me the entire concert, and they're like, damn, what did your parents feed you? And I was like, What? They're like, no, like you're like a grown boy. No, I'm like tall, but I'm like, y'all act like I'm like a skyscraper. And it's also like it's I feel horrible about it. What do you want me to do? So what I do now is every single time I'm at a concert, I'm doing like a half squat because I feel bad for the people behind me because I have like so much anxiety at concerts now because I've ruined it for that. My fucking cornfred big ass ruined it for for those two girls at the Kesha concert. So now I'm always self-conscious that I'm ruining it for everyone. But it's fun.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Well, stop going to Chapel Roan concerts and get on the court, baby.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

I know.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Getting

cavs, mavs, landon barker

SPEAKER_02 4:26

into NBA season, who are you gonna be a fan of? Can you name five teams?

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yes, Lakers, Pistons, 49ers, that was a joke. Yo, I'm not dumb. Okay. Nugget. Okay, so Lakers, Nuggets, Pacers, 76ers, Timberwolves, Bulls. Okay. Um go six. Yeah. Thunder. Yeah. Mavs, calves, mavs, calves, mavs, smells. What's that from? I was trying to tell them. You guys know the catch me outside, how about that girl? The sound of her like counting down, she's like, Twell, nah, hey, lam. We're gonna add that to the BTS dump, by the way, so you guys can see it.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

She was beefing with Alabama Barker.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

No, I love messy girls like that.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Me too. And meanwhile, um Landon Barker.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Yeah, what's going on with that?

SPEAKER_02 5:35

He posts to the same audio on TikTok for every single video.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

I thought there was something that happened with him.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Oh, oh that phrase song. Hello, Cafe.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yeah, yeah. That he okay. Someone check in on a land on marker, like Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

I saw this TikTok

tiktok trends

SPEAKER_01 5:56

um of like trends from like 2020 that I missed. And I want you guys to weigh in. Um people You guys are gonna know so many more than no, you'll know these people making a thirst trap. They're all thirst traps, of like getting arrested. Oh yeah, that was and their hands are behind their back.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

And they like somehow got their hands on like blue and red cop light, so it's like emphasizing their no, I that whole like remember the door frame, like there's like also even what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 6:30

I love lesbians. What do no? Um, but there's like a trend with the lesbians that I got on where for the new Sabrina Carpenter song. Well, I won't even guess it's not even like lesbians, but yeah, it is a lot of lesbians. It's been mostly lesbians, but it's like they literally went Sabrina. No, wait.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Watch a video and do anything. I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

I get them like no, it's literally them like shirtless, their back muscles like grinding, and then it's like I literally went through like a I went through like all of them. I was like, these are crazy.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

And I've seen men if you are a man back to men, if you are a man, you do not need to get in on this trend.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

I don't think like I'm really having I feel like the amount of straight men listening to this podcast are very few and far between. I'm just having a hard time with straight men on social media. I just anything they do, like I can't do like the self-roquim, like goofy guy where it's like, oh, you're hit you're hating me while I'm in my kitchen doing happy dance and like shit like that, and it's like I need these men, like

no privacy in hotels these days

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Can we talk about modern hotels for a second?

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Because okay, so the one hotel Brett stayed at in New York, and Bailey and I went and stayed with him, and new hotels are doing this thing where there's no privacy like at all. The bathroom is just like that see-through wall.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Like a little bit. Yeah, it's like we're literally gonna put like almost a window everywhere, and so you have no privacy.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Like, truly, we're making it so a five-inch gap under and above the door.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

It's impossible to take, like I don't like to do pee-poo poo-poo talk, but like it's impossible to take a shit in a hotel with other people at this. Like it's like, oh, we're not gonna give you a fan, overhead fan option anymore. You can't even see the shower. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

And then between the shower, between the toilet and the shower, there's another thing of plexiglass.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

But anyway, when we were staying there, poor Bailey, she has a lot of food allergies. She got sick, and she was throwing up, and I was like, this is the worst. Like, I just felt so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Like, she might as well have like literally just been throwing up on like in like a trash can, like in the bed with us, because it's like that's pretty much how intimate of an experience it was. And I felt horrible for the girl.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

They didn't help because I was like, I was like obviously at my lowest, vomit, tossing cookies into is that what tossing cookies is?

SPEAKER_00 9:10

I think so. Okay, I just assumed it was similar to tossing other things. Now it makes sense. Okay. Because you've been saying that a lot, and I'm like, that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

No, babe, I think it is there's so many words for throwing up. Anyway, um, I was blowing chunks in the bathroom, and like I expected to come out and Holly and Brad. I I assumed they would be like busying themselves in a way where it's like, oh yeah, like we're just gonna pretend that didn't happen. They not on their phones, they're not playing music, they don't turn the TV. The TV's off, they're just sitting there.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

The TV's on like the mo like the main hotel screen, like zero volume.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Not even like on their phones, they're just sitting there, and I'm like we're like, hi we've all thrown up in front of each other though.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

When have I thrown up?

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Due to anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Oh yeah. Oh shit, okay, yeah. I don't know. They were all different reasons.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Yours was due to anxiety. Mine was food allergies, and Holly's was overconsumption.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Aw, his mine and ours. I love that shit. Every group of three has one. Anywho, um, what else happened? I feel like that I wanted

drinking bc i have to

SPEAKER_00 10:23

to talk about chap. Not seeing Chapel Round.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

What was the best song that she sang?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

What song was it? There was like one song I had like a pretty like spiritual experience too, but I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Hot to go, the game.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

I mean, hot to I like here's the thing. Oh, wait, honestly, Pink Pony Club. I like, yeah, had I listened to Pink Pony Club like seven years ago. Yeah. So yeah, it's kind of old old for me. Um, no, but like I don't like love it as much anymore. But like she was like, this one's for you, LA. I wrote this because of you, and I'm like, oh my god. We literally are like at the Pink Pony Club living in Los Angeles, like, no, um, but yeah, it was also like fun being with my friends and like consuming a pretty good amount of alcohol and just like dancing and stuff like that. Like, yeah, that's awesome. I've been drinking a lot socially recently, and I'm like, I I drank a lot this weekend. I'm like, I cannot drink for a long time. Going on a brand trip with a tequila uh company this weekend, then next weekend it's I'm throwing a Halloween party weekend after I'm going to Vegas. But yeah, I know it's like hard because it's like every single time after I drink, I'm like, oh, I feel like shit. But then it's like, okay, unfortunately, I sometimes do have to have about like four white claws to have a good time at a social function, and like just I feel like it's just kind of built in. Yeah, it's

rita…

SPEAKER_00 11:46

I have to. Oh well, it says here, Rita peeing all over things.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

She's so stubborn.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

She just like it she peed all over my bed the other night, which then it just like it soaked through everything. And so then it's just like at like 11:30 p.m. I'm like, I have no choice but to throw all of like rip everything off of my bed and throw it in the laundry right now. And now I'm sleeping bare bone on my bed with like a blanket, and I'm like, okay, this used to be like a place of comfort, and now I feel like I'm at like a sixth grade sleepover, and I peed the bed.

unknown 12:23

Did you ever do it?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

I was

sh!tting my pants at the sleepover

SPEAKER_02 12:25

just gonna say, have you guys ever? No, but I shit my plants out of sleep.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Have I told you guys this story?

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Maybe a while ago, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Have I told y'all this story?

unknown 12:34

No.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

I don't know why I talked, like, have I told you guys this? As if it's like the door of the experience. Like, yeah. Say along with me. Um, so one time I was at my friend Logan's time. No, why um I was at my friend's house, it was in sixth grade. Um long story short, long story short, I long story short, I woke up in the middle of the night, shit my pants. Yeah. Well, I like a bummy tummy.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

That's always what we would. I like truly don't like talking about like shit and stuff like that. But now I also have like a fart comment where when my brother and I were were kids, if we like when we would like fart, our mom would be like, Brad or Kyle. And then we would be like, Oh, like I have a bummy tummy, and my mom would be like, Oh, okay. So then we just thought that was anyway. I but I had a bummy tummy, and I shit my pants at my friend sleepover, Logan Simons in sixth grade. Um, so I was like, What the fuck am I supposed to do? Like, truly, what do I do? So I like crawl out of the sleeping bag, which was under the biggest. There are other people there, just me and Logan in his living room.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Also, it's so funny, like I can't cut out his name now. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

I can't Logan, if you're listening, like, thank you. That's you, but that's me, and I love and miss you. Um, but yeah, we have to unfortunately just Logan Simon mention. Hey, love you, man. Sleepovers in elementary school, just like laying in the middle of like someone's living room, like with them like kind of by your side, and it's just like half in the living room, half in the dining room, like because you have to like take into account like all of the couches. Why don't we sleep on the couch?

SPEAKER_02 14:20

And why didn't we sleep in their room? Actually, why are we always like a sleeping bag?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

I don't know. Maybe there were other people there. I do remember crawling out of a sleeping bag though, and I don't know why we weren't on the couch. Okay, so I shipped my pants and I was like, oh fuck, I don't know what to do. Let me take them off and throw it behind his washing machine. That feels like a safe bet. Well, I'm like, oh, if I throw it away in his trash, hi, whose boxers are in the trash. Let me just take off my shit stained pants and throw it behind the washing machine. This feels like a more long-term fix. There's no way a lot. It was like a pretty good bit, like a noticeable amount.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Was it your sleeping bag or his?

SPEAKER_00 15:03

It doesn't matter, his. But um that was the sleeping bag was fine. And so are my shorts that I had on. My um, so it was just a good amount of damage to the actual anyway. So then I grab um a pair of his dad's boxers from the dryer, put them on, walk home at three in the morning. He lived like a mile and a half away from me. Because I'm like, I'm not gonna call my mom. Hey, I shit my pants, like, which I guess I could have like lied and said I was sick. I'll just walk home. It's I'm not gonna make it. So then I'd walk home, and then I have to like wake up my parents, and then I'm just like, I'm just I just I don't didn't feel good.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

I don't know why again, like I should have just so then did they find out anyway.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

So then that happened when I was in sixth grade, and then he was like my best friend all throughout high school, and like at the end of high school was like, Logan, I have to tell you something. I did shit my pants out of your house and throw out behind your washing machine. He's like, Oh yeah, I I knew. And I was like, What do you mean? What do you mean you know? And he's like, Well, like two days after my mom was like, Hey, I found these behind the washing machine. Like, are those any of y'all's? And they're like, No, and then like we immediately just knew they were yours. I'd been friends with this guy for genuinely eight years after that experience, and he knew that I shit my pants out of sleepover and threw it behind his washing machine, never brought it up, never changed anything about it.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

That's really cool of him. And it's nice he like didn't tell anybody.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah, he also knew that you were real ones. He learned from that that you were the type of person to do some something like insane like that, and like never tell him.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

It's not that insane. Like, I feel like it makes sense. That's like what would y'all have done? Not throwing them behind it and then take their dad's boxers and walk home.

dialing in a lavender marriage

SPEAKER_00 16:50

This week we're dialing in someone who's in a lavender marriage, I guess would be if y'all don't know what a lavender marriage is, but I it's also confusing because this guy knows he's gay, but they're married. I met this very, very bizarre couple out recently.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Don't say that they're weird.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

That's no, they're just like there's something off about these people, and I like they I it's not that okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

They're really sweet though.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

They are so sweet, and there's a reason why I want to have them on the podcast because they are just they are very interesting, and they are it's a gay man and a straight woman, but they're married.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Wait, how did you meet them?

SPEAKER_00 17:29

They were just like at a bar that I was at, and the guy like bought me a drink because we both were like waiting for like 30 minutes, and then he like made a joke, and then he was like clearly gay, and then was like, This is my wife, and I'm like, What what was that, BB?

SPEAKER_06 17:44

Why?

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Your wife?

unknown 17:45

Ah!

SPEAKER_00 17:46

You're a gay man. Uh, but anyways, they are somehow making it work. But I've been telling you guys about that TikTok couple that I'm obsessed with, where it's like this straight woman who's married to a gay man, and he's like, Yes, I am a gay man. Yes, I am married to a woman. What are you not getting? Like, it's like very, very funny, and this is like the closest thing that I had to getting them on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Do you like did you catch a vibe that it was like romantic or did it seem like it wasn't telling its purposes or because why would I mean I guess there are they will tell us why they would be in a marriage.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Well, which one is it the sexually attracted to each other?

SPEAKER_02 18:28

But then also like Is he openly gay?

SPEAKER_00 18:32

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

And wait, is are you calling the guy or the girl?

SPEAKER_00 18:38

The girl wasn't it the girl who responded, Bailey?

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, so I okay, so Brett told me he wanted this couple on the podcast. Somehow, how did you get their number?

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Wait, how is the phone ringing right now?

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Wait, it's not even plugged in, is it? How would that be- Answer it?

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Hello? Hi. What do you mean? What do you mean here? Did you give her my address? One second. Is that you? Okay. Okay, great. Yeah, we'll open it up for you. What do we do? Wait, did you give her our address?

SPEAKER_02 19:44

No. She literally said she was like, when when are you guys gonna call? And I said, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

I l like how would they have gotten my address?

SPEAKER_02 19:52

I mean, like, we have to let them in.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

We've never had like a Wait, we're doing live. Wait, where are they?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

This is live television. I don't know. We have some extra. Can we just pull the pull those up? I guess we could Oh my god, okay, okay. Okay, we're coming. Okay. Hi, you guys came. Yeah, of course. We showed up. Yes, we got this from the bar.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

We got it from the bar, so you see you. That would be nice. As expected. Thank God. Didn't want to stand the whole night.

SPEAKER_05 20:27

Wait, I missed you guys' names. What are they? Oh, hi, I'm Beth, and this is my husband. Brandis.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

Hi, I'm Brandis. How are you? It's so nice to meet you two. You too, Queen. Oh my god, I love your lip gloss. Thank you. Who is that? Rare beauty. Oh my god, she's Diva.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Hi, thank you guys. It's good to see you guys again. It's Beth and Brand.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Brandis. Brandis. I thought that was.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

How do you spell that again?

SPEAKER_04 20:53

B-R-A? Oh, inside joke. Sorry. Oh my god. B-R-L-A-N-D-I-S-S. Like a dis.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

So how are you guys? What's going on? Good. Haven't seen you since what was the bar? Wave Davy Wayne's. And you were telling me you guys are you're married, right?

SPEAKER_06 21:14

Yes, yes. Happily, happily.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

And what would you say yours is like sexuality? Cheers.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

Cheers. I am gay, yes. Okay, good. I know it's hard. A lot of people are like, are you gay? Like, are you straight? I'm gay.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

So you guys were kind of telling me the other night, how exactly does that work?

SPEAKER_04 21:35

We make it work. I think it's very unique between us. I mean, she lets me have my fun. I let her uh do what she does. So are you guys open then? Obsessed with you.

SPEAKER_05 21:48

Oh my god, gay, baby.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

I love you. Oh, I love you, baby. I mean, at the end of the day, am I gay? A hundred percent yes. Right. Is there still a little bit in me that says, you know what? I like the girl. I like her. But like, obviously, I'm gonna have my boy's night. Right. Absolutely, absolutely. And you're okay with his boys' night? Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Do you have girls' nights or girl guy nights? Whatever works. Okay, so you guys are open or?

SPEAKER_04 22:17

Well, I think we call it. I feel like we're like, don't ask, don't tell.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Do you want to show us what's in your purse?

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Sorry, one second, sweetheart. As good you'll like it. It's like vanilla. Matches. We have those bad nights when you have one little too many. Give me one margarita. Sue me. I have a cigarette.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 22:37

I know. And then, you know, it's just like whatever. And uh here and there, got my uh this and I got my wallet. This one likes it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

And it's Gucci, it's Gucci choose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

She likes it. Do you like to shop a lot, both of you?

SPEAKER_05 22:54

Yeah, we love to shop. We love to shop together, separate for each other and individually as well.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

What do you guys do for your like anniversaries?

SPEAKER_05 23:00

Um, well, recently we went to Tulloon.

SPEAKER_04 23:03

Oh my god. That was I know. Well, actually, after that, we went to Puerto Vallarta.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Oh my god. So it ended up. We actually ended up in a swingers, uh, swingers. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Yeah, we had no idea. We didn't know that was. No, we had no idea. We had no idea.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

So you guys participated in the swingers?

SPEAKER_04 23:25

Well.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Don't ask, don't tell.

SPEAKER_06 23:29

We had fun. Let's say that.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

What happens in stays in.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

So do you guys I don't know if this is too forward, but do you guys are you intimate together or what exactly do you mean? So you guys are obviously very touchy, which I think is pretty. Um, do you guys have sex or oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 23:48

What was the question? What was the question?

SPEAKER_00 23:50

If you guys are asleep in the same bed.

SPEAKER_04 23:52

Yes. Yeah, we two guys. We have two, uh well, we have two rooms, of course.

SPEAKER_05 23:57

Two primaries. We have two primaries.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

So, well, we have three. We have two primaries and we have one of the, you know, the one where you have the monk bedroom.

SPEAKER_05 24:05

The thing is he snores.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

I sometimes have to do it.

SPEAKER_04 24:07

I don't snore. I don't snore like that. Like he's not sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

So it's the snoring issue, is why you guys have separate bedrooms?

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Yes, yes, no, I think that is it. I tried everything. Sound machine, earplugs, everything didn't work. She loves her sound machine. She cannot have without it. And sometimes she turns it up so loud, I do not know what she's doing in that other room. I do not know what she's doing in that other room, do I? I love that. I love that. I know, I love that. I mean, you're gorgeous. Whatever you do, I support you. I support you. Oh my god. Uh yeah, about to answer something.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Well, I noticed that you guys don't have wedding rings on.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

Yes, we do. Well, I'm not. Oh, baby, I forgot mine. Maybe. Maybe I forgot mine.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Oh my god, you need to be able to do that. So do you usually wear wedding? Brandis, do you usually wear your wedding ring or no?

SPEAKER_04 24:53

Um Yes, I do. And this is completely freaking awkward.

SPEAKER_05 24:57

This is really Brandis, find it, baby. Baby. It's in the core baby.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Yeah, you don't have to. We can go on to a different question too, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 25:06

You never do this. You never do this. Where is it, baby? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm freaking out. It's okay. It's okay. I mean, it's okay. Do you want to do it in an accident? It's an accident.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Do you want to go to the next one?

SPEAKER_05 25:16

It's an accident. Freaking out.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 25:22

You're okay. You're okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

I'm freaking out.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Do you guys want to keep going? Or do you want to?

SPEAKER_05 25:25

I mean I mean, you know where we're going to be. No, no, baby. No, baby. You know where it is. I think it's in my drawer closet. It's in your safe. It's in the safe.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

I just uh I have a new built-in closet that I just installed in the powder room. Okay, so well, we demoed the powder room. Um, yeah, so we're liking that wine, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Oh yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

You want some more. You want some more Brandus? Yes, uh, yes, sweetheart. Fill it up.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

Love it. Give me one margarita. I'm kidding, because it's wine.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Um, would you guys are you guys close up with your families?

SPEAKER_05 25:57

Yes.

unknown 25:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Do your family well some family members, yes.

SPEAKER_05 26:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Does your do your families know about know about each other?

SPEAKER_05 26:07

You know, we were originally in the south.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 26:10

Southern porn and bread.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Southern bread.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

And then we decided, oh my god, let's freaking go to LA.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Oh, cool. What took you to LA?

SPEAKER_05 26:18

Um, so we actually met in Alabama. Incredible. And we loved it. I mean, we could have saved the.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

Oh, we could have eaten that up like a white chocolate teramasu cup.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

Which that was the dessert at our wedding, by the way. I hate that you weren't there. You are.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

What does your family think about what? Just uh marriage? Well, yeah, just kind of the setup.

SPEAKER_05 26:39

I'll let you take it. Oh, I mean I'll take care.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Oh, I mean That wasn't that wasn't supposed to be like an uh attacking question.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

In fact, like it's a bad thing of what we're doing. No, I'm I think it's to us it's not weird. To us it's not weird.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

No, I wasn't saying it wasn't normal. I was just curious.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

This is bullshit. No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I just it's just like less traditional than like who is that? Stop. You met him. You've met him before. Okay, stop. Anyway, so sorry. Sorry. No, you're okay. You've literally met him. What's the problem? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 27:12

Um sorry. Just because you know we've known each other for so long and kind of almost grew up together, so our families have known um both of us for a long time. So they they definitely accept. Do we tell them all the ins and outs? No.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Uh well, you told. You told me. No, but yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:31

I don't hey, I don't see an issue with it. So I don't know. Do you? No, I don't. I was just seeming like you do.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

No, I I was just saying, yeah, you know, from being from the south. You said a lot, didn't you? And it's just like less traditional. But I I support it.

SPEAKER_05 27:45

I think it's Which part's not so traditional? I agree.

SPEAKER_04 27:48

Thank you for asking that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 27:52

Um Yeah, no, back to the question. Well, we have a lot of questions. We can move on to the which part. Did you think which part?

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Do you guys think you'll have children?

SPEAKER_04 28:03

Yes. Yes. Do you both want children?

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

Yeah, we're trying the old-fashioned way, um which is has yes. And I think it's working the way that God wanted it to.

SPEAKER_05 28:20

Hey, let's not ask personal questions. I mean, we can't. Yeah, no, we don't know. Well, I mean, he begged us to come over to his house, and then we're going to go to the house. Yeah, you're like, oh, come over to my life.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

This is what we can do.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Tell him. We don't need to get into it, but I am curious how you guys found my place.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Oh, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

You asked a bunch of questions. Questions, questions. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we were just struggling.

SPEAKER_05 28:44

You know, that night we met.

SPEAKER_04 28:45

Yeah. Yeah. You told us everything. You told us a lot of things about yourself. Trust me, we have a docket of it.

SPEAKER_05 28:52

Throw a tracker on you.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

What did I say?

SPEAKER_05 28:55

Threw a tracker on you.

SPEAKER_04 28:56

You would want to know what you have.

SPEAKER_05 28:57

Come over to our place when never thank you. Where do you guys live close? Yeah, we live next door. No, no, no. Well, we have the property next door, so we're maybe that's not a condo, but that's our standalone. Okay. Oh, we yeah, no, no, we don't live nearby. That was careful, Brandis. Oh, sorry, baby. You are far.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

So, Brandis, you did you propose to Beth? You pop the question.

SPEAKER_04 29:22

Do you are you we haven't really told you? Okay, you tell it. Do you mind telling me that story? I will let him take you. He loves telling the story. Go ahead. Um how was it? Okay, so I feel like Beth and I first met, obviously. Like we grew up in the same hometown together. You're gonna want to drink for this one. Um we met at the church. And then we met at the church, and I think one weekend we, you know, we just went down to the boondocks over in Mississippi. Yeah, we went down to the boondocks, and then we were down at the dock, and I don't know, like I'd only ever done stuff with guys, and then I just tried to like, I thought I was like, I'm going to Hemill, I'm going to Hemill, and then like Brandon's No. Baby telling, and then I like I just like made a move. Sorry, like I made a move on on Beth, and it ended, you know, in the best decision I've ever made in my life. So that's how we met. And then literally, it took like day. It was fireworks. And what was funny? Yes, it was 4th of July, so fireworks actually did go off. Wow. Like when we kissed. Sorry, it's awesome. Like, it's just love. This is love. You know, she met like my uncle and my gunkle and my aunt and my sussu and my pee-pee and my popom and my people and my toot. And she, you know, they approved. And you know, she actually, it's weird. She asked my mom and my dad if she could like propose to me. Oh my god. And I will kind of let her take it from here. She popped the question.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Was this at the boondocks? Or was this?

SPEAKER_05 30:49

No, no, it's not square. No, that's for the fireworks for square work. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

So that was, but that was the same night? Oh, is it? Okay, very different night, though.

SPEAKER_05 30:57

Very different.

SPEAKER_04 30:59

But it's like pretty down there. Sounds pretty good. No, so we um you talk about it, it makes me crazy.

SPEAKER_05 31:05

Stop, sit up there, sit up there, baby. Okay. Um baby stuff. So yes, I, you know, talked to his parents and everything, and they, uh, you know, being the nice southern family that they are, um, his dad actually gave me his card, his credit card, his bank phone blank check, and said, Hey, you know, if you want to marry my son, that's gonna be the best thing that's ever gonna happen to our family. Um because that they knew we were meant to be together. They knew your struggles. They had known his new struggles. They knew his previous struggles, and they wanted to see us together for some reason. And so his daddy gave me his card. Um, thank you, Mr. Jimmy. Check. And I went shopping, shopping. And you know, you don't have the ring today.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Do you mind telling me how much the check was worth?

SPEAKER_05 31:46

Oh, is a blank check? Are you talking about for the ring?

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Was that for the ring or was that just kind of like a So the c credit card was for the ring.

SPEAKER_05 31:54

The blank check was for a lifestyle of happiness together. So they paid down payment on the house and whatever we kind of see.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

And they gave you that money, they didn't give it to Brandis.

SPEAKER_05 32:03

They gave well, Brandis, hey, Brandis has access to the cards and then, you know, the trust and everything. They just want to make sure that I was definitely gonna make it.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

Trust isn't going anywhere.

SPEAKER_05 32:11

That's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 32:13

I know, it's so much more than we're gonna do anything.

SPEAKER_05 32:15

We just they want to make sure that I was definitely gonna make it official with this one. Can I say something?

SPEAKER_04 32:20

Yeah, I thought that she was gonna marry me like just for the money. And from then, like, I realized that it's so much more than that. Yeah, it's it's all about our happiness and your happiness, and you know, does she like go to you know Nordstrom and Macy's and like you know, does she go, does she like get a couple Rolexes, like a couple months just because she doesn't like the color of it anymore? Like, yes. I thought that's wow, you seem really happy together.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Thank you. Never seen a happy.

SPEAKER_05 32:52

Are you single?

SPEAKER_00 32:53

I am.

SPEAKER_04 32:54

Oh, you are.

SPEAKER_05 32:55

Oh, we might have somebody we can set him up with, baby.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

Yes, uh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Who is it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 33:01

Well, tell us what's your type? Oh my god. You okay, baby? What's your tithe? Oh my god. Hey, a lot of questions for us. What's your tithe? Yeah, what's your tithe?

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Maybe like a Speedle Judge, a taller gentleman, maybe?

SPEAKER_04 33:15

How tall? Yeah, out of curiosity. Six one? Yeah, I'm about I'm about six one, two, six feet. Give or take.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Um, yeah, let's see what else we got. Like more about the city.

SPEAKER_05 33:27

Do you guys have uh we'll think let's think on it. Let's think on it.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Yeah, just let me know if you think of anyone not in this room. Um do you guys have since the fuck is this about? This is so does it seem like more platonic between you two? Like a platonic.

SPEAKER_06 33:45

Does it look like it? I think Scott.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

So I mean, I'm having a little bit of wine and feeling kind of loose. Can I ask a more personal question?

SPEAKER_04 33:57

I mean, sure, sure, sure. Sure, sure. See where this goes.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Beth, do you ever wish that Brandis wasn't a gay man?

SPEAKER_05 34:08

So, right, such a good question. Um, I think no, because I think there's a reason that we are together today. Which is um, because we're meant to be together and we both have experienced such happiness together.

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Why did you ask that question?

SPEAKER_05 34:21

And um at the end of the day, this might be a phase for him. It might be a phase.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Are you okay with that?

SPEAKER_05 34:29

Oh yeah. I mean, when I met him, he was this way, and it's been 18 years, but do I think he's gonna grow out of it? A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:35

Um, so it's not something that concerns me, right, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Brandis, do you think you're gonna grow out of it?

SPEAKER_04 34:40

Of course. Of course I do. This is a phase for me. And I mean it's just hard, you know, I've struggled with this. I mean, I've told you about my struggle. Sorry, shoulders up.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

We I talked briefly at the bar, I think.

SPEAKER_04 34:52

I didn't No, like I like for real, man. Like, I've struggled with this for like so long. No, like please stop. Like, you're you asked me, you said I was just I just yeah, you said, oh, so you think because the wine is flowing now that you just get to be like all Mr. Tough Guy and like ask what you want to ask. Like, I have feelings too.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

No, I wasn't e I wasn't trying to No, it's like really hard.

SPEAKER_04 35:16

No, no, it's not that hard.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

You guys I feel like you guys make it work, which is it's exciting.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

Um I love her. So small on small on goss, you have goss or anything.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

What are some things you wish more people understood about your marriage, including me?

SPEAKER_05 35:33

Because I I so you're still not getting it, you know, we're in love, we understand each other, we should each other's best friends and each other's future and past and everything like that. So what's not too good?

SPEAKER_04 35:42

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

I guess, yeah, you're right. That is would you guys consider it a lavender marriage?

SPEAKER_05 35:47

In what way?

SPEAKER_04 35:49

In many ways, more than none.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 35:52

What's the definition of a lavender marriage?

SPEAKER_00 35:54

A lavender marriage is when someone straight is with someone who is gay.

SPEAKER_04 36:01

And can you use that in a sentence more specifically?

SPEAKER_00 36:04

I think you guys are in a lavender marriage.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

I don't think that's a sentence. I think that's more of a state.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Um I totally agree. Oh, cool. Yeah. This straight woman who is married to a gay man is in a lavender marriage.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

Who?

SPEAKER_04 36:22

Who exactly are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Do you guys think you have the normal gender norms in your marriage? Yeah. Well, who does the cooking, who does the cleaning?

SPEAKER_04 36:31

I I there's a oh my god, you like my you like my seasonal pies.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

I like a seasonal pie.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Are you a baker?

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Listen, hey, let's just say I'm the pitcher and the catcher.

SPEAKER_05 36:44

And when you have a staff that does it all, we don't need you.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

Um I would say, of course, I love my seasonal pies, but she knows how to make uh your famous Marry Me Chicken. What one am I? Oh, wow. Oh yeah. I mean, the minute she made her Marry Me Chicken, I was literally freaking out because I was like, I'm gonna spend the rest of my freaking life with this woman. Um, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and it has been so special just getting to experience life with her. And I just have to remind myself it's her first time and my first time living life too. And it's everyone on this planet's first time living life too. We have no clue what others are going through. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

That's great. Well, we have

am i in the wrong??

SPEAKER_00 37:25

this segment called Am I in the Wrong on this podcast. Um, do you guys want to weigh in on it? I will read it out loud and you guys can.

unknown 37:32

You can hold that baby.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, please.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

Am I in the motherfucking wrong? I, 29F, just found out I'm pregnant. I haven't told my husband yet because the baby's not his. Though he often talks about his dreams of being a daddy, we rarely are intimate due to him being gay.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

I am three months along, and the last time we had sex was our wedding night, but I'm hoping his lack of knowledge of the female reproductive system.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

Sorry. Who does it say who sent this? Excuse me. Um, sorry, excuse me. It doesn't, but I can't see it.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Does it say it's on the phone? It doesn't say on here, but.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

Did I see it?

SPEAKER_03 38:10

Do you want me to What what? What is that? Did you what is this?

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Am I in the wrong for not telling my husband that I'm having another man's baby? I am three months along, and the last time we had sex was our wedding night, but I'm hoping his lack of knowledge on the female reproductive system will still allow me to pull off this lie. Am I in the wrong for not telling my husband that I have another. That is not me.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Say everything you know about the female reproductive system. Say everything about the money.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Pull it up, no, pull it up, pull it up. Yeah, you've had enough time. Pull it up. No, pull it up. I'm serious. Pull it up. I want to see it.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Submitted by Beth McLaughlin.

SPEAKER_05 38:55

I'm sorry, he does this every once in a while.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

I didn't know that it was yours.

SPEAKER_05 39:00

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

Did you realize that I would be saying this out loud?

SPEAKER_05 39:04

I'm sorry, he does this every once in a while. Are you actually pregnant? Um, he does this every once in a while. He acts after he has too much wine and everything. Yeah, so.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

But you're pregnant?

SPEAKER_05 39:14

Um, so he actually acts out like this, you know, when he's had too much.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

And you're drinking?

SPEAKER_05 39:19

Well, he's stressing me out tonight. I don't usually, I don't usually. Um, but yeah, so nothing I want to copy right now, to you, Brett. Okay. Um, do you think you're gonna Hey baby? Calm down a bit. Calm down a good bit.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

Hey, Brandis.

SPEAKER_05 39:39

Calm down a little. Um, yes, so if you want to have a different I don't know, submission or anything that you wanted to say, because hey, not that that was about me, but enough about me.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Yeah, I don't think we actually have a different submission, but we can we can just Okay Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:01

Okay, cool. So anyway, what are your plans for tonight?

SPEAKER_00 40:04

It's 10 30 p.m. Um so probably bed. What about you?

SPEAKER_04 40:09

What do you want to do, baby?

SPEAKER_00 40:11

Do we need a we can also stop too if you're good, yeah, that'd be great.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

What do you want to do, baby? We're all good here. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

Okay, let's don't play that to work.

SPEAKER_05 40:23

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

No, we are yeah, that's probably Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_05 40:27

I yes, I yes, I'm gonna go to probably Polo Lounge or something. And uh anyway, yeah, would would you wanna come with me?

SPEAKER_00 40:33

I might, yeah, I might just I'm really tired, so okay.

SPEAKER_05 40:36

Yeah, you wouldn't want to join me?

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Yeah, maybe I'll catch up with you later.

SPEAKER_05 40:40

So Okay, cool. Well, thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

Yeah, no, this was so much fun for having you over.

SPEAKER_05 40:46

So we'll do it again. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Awesome, awesome. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 40:50

Awesome, good to see you again.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

So thank you guys. That's the episode. Yay! Oh, you were filming? Yeah, okay. It's in recording audio, too. I hope that's is that okay?

SPEAKER_05 41:03

Okay, sure, yeah. Definitely. Okay, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Cool. Okay,

subscribe, follow, leave a review!!

SPEAKER_00 41:09

so that just happened. What was that kidding? I assume but most of y'all would had known that that was like a bit. Yeah, those are my friends, Tristan and Channing. That's hey, baby, that's not Brandis. That's that's Tristan. Um, but yeah, we just wanted to do something fun with y'all a little bit different, because you guys aren't really like um, but yeah, I hope that was fun for y'all. We're gonna actually have a real guest on next week. Uh cut the crap. Um, and it's gonna be Halloween themed. But yeah, y'all, that was episode 15. Thank you so much for watching. Also, I've seen a lot of DMs recently saying that you guys have started watching the podcast. Holy shit. Wow, our our our community is growing in a beautiful way. Um join the Facebook group, send in your shit, blow up mine. Oh, also, yeah, so that was Channing and Tristan on my podcast. They are so fucking funny, they're so hilarious, and they actually have their own podcast as well called Not That Y'all Care. Y'all got a little sneak peek of what they're capable of doing, and uh on their channel, they even do more of that. And they do prank calls, which are hysterical. They fucking drive me crazy, but god damn it, well, they make me laugh a pretty good bit. So, yeah, check them out. We'll link their socials in our stuff. Sure. And if y'all are here from Tristan and Jenny, I don't know, maybe you guys could just stay for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

And go watch the vlog for the vlog. Just give me these through Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Yeah, seriously, because it's gonna be like a big one for Halloween, and like we have a lot of fun, guys, and it's gonna be great and wonderful. So, yeah, y'all, thank you again for tuning in. I love you to pieces. Uh uh.