Dialing In with Brett

15. y’all don’t care if we dial in, right?? ft. channing and tristan

• Season 1 • Episode 15

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SPEAKER_00:

Hi, this is Brett. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I there's no way. Hello? What a dick. Hey y'all! Welcome back to dialing in with Brett. I'm so happy to have you guys here. If it looks like I've slept two hours in the past three days, it's because I have. Um, and also we pre-recorded the last part, so don't remember how I look in this clip, but the the end of the episode, you guys can remember me like that. But you don't need to remember the and I want to do like a pretty heavy like airbrush.

SPEAKER_02:

A glamour filter.

SPEAKER_00:

Glamour filter. Oh, I I don't know if I posted this. No, I don't think I did. Why the fuck are men wear using the like enhancement filter on TikToks? Like, what are you doing, pretty girl? Like, you're gonna piss me off. I wanna talk about straight men for a second. Just like straight men have it so fucking easy. Straight men can look like any bitch I went to high school with and have like an ounce of humor, and it's like social media wise, like you're set for life. Like, I'm over here doing the fucking monkey dance. For what? And for what? And men just like literally will like post a video of them like backing up with an outfit or like saying the like most overused tweet in 2013 in video format now, and it will just like and people in the comments will be like, I need to beep, you beep, beep, beep, beep. Star, star, star, star, star, star, star. Do you do weddings? I will literally suck the skin off of your you know what. Like, girls are willing to like lick a bathroom at LAX over like a man with like no personality. It's scary. Girls, do better. Please don't give the the men this much power. It just makes me sad because it's like, damn, y'all are like so much hotter than these men who also have no personality. Um, I saw Chapel Rone the other day, which also this is something recently, as someone who you know is like an online persona and has like gotten shat on before. It's like I feel bad shitting on other people, except for a few people. But it's like, yeah, like I get it, it sucks for CV. So I'm gonna be I'm gonna be sweet with this. I went to see Chapel Roan. I didn't see Chapel Roan because no one could see Chapel Roan because she wanted to do it in a field outside of this a stadium instead of doing it in the stadium, which like okay, personal preference, but I'm almost like I couldn't see the girl. And it's like if I'm going to a concert, I want to see a concert. Like, it was just like a Lollapalooza ass set. It was good as hell. The girl's so talented, and I had a great time. Could not see her though. So I'm like, at this point, like I could have just like hooked up a JBL and have my friends over, and we could have just danced to her. Again, she sounded great. And then also it was like there was two screens. Obviously, one screen, like a huge tree is blocking, and then you look to another one, tree's blocking it, and then you look past the tree, huge speaker blocking it. Again, so I saw Chaperon. Did I really see Chaperon?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

Again, great, really talented girl, but I also am like, oh, you don't like playing in stadiums? Okay, well, I would I would love to see the artist performing that I spent$200 on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

As a tall person, do you feel very self-conscious going to concerts because you know you're ruining people's experience?

SPEAKER_00:

Have I told you guys about I went to a free Kesha concert in college and we like got there randomly early. So we're like right at the front, and these two people were like heckling me the entire concert, and they're like, damn, what did your parents feed you? And I was like, What? They're like, no, like you're like a grown boy. No, I'm like tall, but I'm like, y'all act like I'm like a skyscraper. And it's also like it's I feel horrible about it. What do you want me to do? So what I do now is every single time I'm at a concert, I'm doing like a half squat because I feel bad for the people behind me because I have like so much anxiety at concerts now because I've ruined it for that. My fucking cornfred big ass ruined it for for those two girls at the Kesha concert. So now I'm always self-conscious that I'm ruining it for everyone. But it's fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, stop going to Chapel Roan concerts and get on the court, baby.

SPEAKER_00:

I know.

SPEAKER_02:

Getting into NBA season, who are you gonna be a fan of? Can you name five teams?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, Lakers, Pistons, 49ers, that was a joke. Yo, I'm not dumb. Okay. Nugget. Okay, so Lakers, Nuggets, Pacers, 76ers, Timberwolves, Bulls. Okay. Um go six. Yeah. Thunder. Yeah. Mavs, calves, mavs, calves, mavs, smells. What's that from? I was trying to tell them. You guys know the catch me outside, how about that girl? The sound of her like counting down, she's like, Twell, nah, hey, lam. We're gonna add that to the BTS dump, by the way, so you guys can see it.

SPEAKER_02:

She was beefing with Alabama Barker.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I love messy girls like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Me too. And meanwhile, um Landon Barker.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, what's going on with that?

SPEAKER_02:

He posts to the same audio on TikTok for every single video.

SPEAKER_00:

I thought there was something that happened with him.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, oh that phrase song. Hello, Cafe.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. That he okay. Someone check in on a land on marker, like Jesus.

SPEAKER_01:

I saw this TikTok um of like trends from like 2020 that I missed. And I want you guys to weigh in. Um people You guys are gonna know so many more than no, you'll know these people making a thirst trap. They're all thirst traps, of like getting arrested. Oh yeah, that was and their hands are behind their back.

SPEAKER_02:

And they like somehow got their hands on like blue and red cop light, so it's like emphasizing their no, I that whole like remember the door frame, like there's like also even what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00:

I love lesbians. What do no? Um, but there's like a trend with the lesbians that I got on where for the new Sabrina Carpenter song. Well, I won't even guess it's not even like lesbians, but yeah, it is a lot of lesbians. It's been mostly lesbians, but it's like they literally went Sabrina. No, wait.

SPEAKER_01:

Watch a video and do anything. I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00:

I get them like no, it's literally them like shirtless, their back muscles like grinding, and then it's like I literally went through like a I went through like all of them. I was like, these are crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

And I've seen men if you are a man back to men, if you are a man, you do not need to get in on this trend.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't think like I'm really having I feel like the amount of straight men listening to this podcast are very few and far between. I'm just having a hard time with straight men on social media. I just anything they do, like I can't do like the self-roquim, like goofy guy where it's like, oh, you're hit you're hating me while I'm in my kitchen doing happy dance and like shit like that, and it's like I need these men, like Can we talk about modern hotels for a second?

SPEAKER_01:

Because okay, so the one hotel Brett stayed at in New York, and Bailey and I went and stayed with him, and new hotels are doing this thing where there's no privacy like at all. The bathroom is just like that see-through wall.

SPEAKER_00:

Like a little bit. Yeah, it's like we're literally gonna put like almost a window everywhere, and so you have no privacy.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, truly, we're making it so a five-inch gap under and above the door.

SPEAKER_00:

It's impossible to take, like I don't like to do pee-poo poo-poo talk, but like it's impossible to take a shit in a hotel with other people at this. Like it's like, oh, we're not gonna give you a fan, overhead fan option anymore. You can't even see the shower. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then between the shower, between the toilet and the shower, there's another thing of plexiglass.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But anyway, when we were staying there, poor Bailey, she has a lot of food allergies. She got sick, and she was throwing up, and I was like, this is the worst. Like, I just felt so bad.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, she might as well have like literally just been throwing up on like in like a trash can, like in the bed with us, because it's like that's pretty much how intimate of an experience it was. And I felt horrible for the girl.

SPEAKER_02:

They didn't help because I was like, I was like obviously at my lowest, vomit, tossing cookies into is that what tossing cookies is?

SPEAKER_00:

I think so. Okay, I just assumed it was similar to tossing other things. Now it makes sense. Okay. Because you've been saying that a lot, and I'm like, that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_02:

No, babe, I think it is there's so many words for throwing up. Anyway, um, I was blowing chunks in the bathroom, and like I expected to come out and Holly and Brad. I I assumed they would be like busying themselves in a way where it's like, oh yeah, like we're just gonna pretend that didn't happen. They not on their phones, they're not playing music, they don't turn the TV. The TV's off, they're just sitting there.

SPEAKER_00:

The TV's on like the mo like the main hotel screen, like zero volume.

SPEAKER_02:

Not even like on their phones, they're just sitting there, and I'm like we're like, hi we've all thrown up in front of each other though.

SPEAKER_00:

When have I thrown up?

SPEAKER_01:

Due to anxiety.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh yeah. Oh shit, okay, yeah. I don't know. They were all different reasons.

SPEAKER_02:

Yours was due to anxiety. Mine was food allergies, and Holly's was overconsumption.

SPEAKER_00:

Aw, his mine and ours. I love that shit. Every group of three has one. Anywho, um, what else happened? I feel like that I wanted to talk about chap. Not seeing Chapel Round.

SPEAKER_02:

What was the best song that she sang?

SPEAKER_00:

What song was it? There was like one song I had like a pretty like spiritual experience too, but I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_02:

Hot to go, the game.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, hot to I like here's the thing. Oh, wait, honestly, Pink Pony Club. I like, yeah, had I listened to Pink Pony Club like seven years ago. Yeah. So yeah, it's kind of old old for me. Um, no, but like I don't like love it as much anymore. But like she was like, this one's for you, LA. I wrote this because of you, and I'm like, oh my god. We literally are like at the Pink Pony Club living in Los Angeles, like, no, um, but yeah, it was also like fun being with my friends and like consuming a pretty good amount of alcohol and just like dancing and stuff like that. Like, yeah, that's awesome. I've been drinking a lot socially recently, and I'm like, I I drank a lot this weekend. I'm like, I cannot drink for a long time. Going on a brand trip with a tequila uh company this weekend, then next weekend it's I'm throwing a Halloween party weekend after I'm going to Vegas. But yeah, I know it's like hard because it's like every single time after I drink, I'm like, oh, I feel like shit. But then it's like, okay, unfortunately, I sometimes do have to have about like four white claws to have a good time at a social function, and like just I feel like it's just kind of built in. Yeah, it's I have to. Oh well, it says here, Rita peeing all over things.

SPEAKER_02:

She's so stubborn.

SPEAKER_00:

She just like it she peed all over my bed the other night, which then it just like it soaked through everything. And so then it's just like at like 11:30 p.m. I'm like, I have no choice but to throw all of like rip everything off of my bed and throw it in the laundry right now. And now I'm sleeping bare bone on my bed with like a blanket, and I'm like, okay, this used to be like a place of comfort, and now I feel like I'm at like a sixth grade sleepover, and I peed the bed.

unknown:

Did you ever do it?

SPEAKER_02:

I was just gonna say, have you guys ever? No, but I shit my plants out of sleep.

SPEAKER_00:

Have I told you guys this story?

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe a while ago, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Have I told y'all this story?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know why I talked, like, have I told you guys this? As if it's like the door of the experience. Like, yeah. Say along with me. Um, so one time I was at my friend Logan's time. No, why um I was at my friend's house, it was in sixth grade. Um long story short, long story short, I long story short, I woke up in the middle of the night, shit my pants. Yeah. Well, I like a bummy tummy.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00:

That's always what we would. I like truly don't like talking about like shit and stuff like that. But now I also have like a fart comment where when my brother and I were were kids, if we like when we would like fart, our mom would be like, Brad or Kyle. And then we would be like, Oh, like I have a bummy tummy, and my mom would be like, Oh, okay. So then we just thought that was anyway. I but I had a bummy tummy, and I shit my pants at my friend sleepover, Logan Simons in sixth grade. Um, so I was like, What the fuck am I supposed to do? Like, truly, what do I do? So I like crawl out of the sleeping bag, which was under the biggest. There are other people there, just me and Logan in his living room.

SPEAKER_01:

Also, it's so funny, like I can't cut out his name now. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_00:

I can't Logan, if you're listening, like, thank you. That's you, but that's me, and I love and miss you. Um, but yeah, we have to unfortunately just Logan Simon mention. Hey, love you, man. Sleepovers in elementary school, just like laying in the middle of like someone's living room, like with them like kind of by your side, and it's just like half in the living room, half in the dining room, like because you have to like take into account like all of the couches. Why don't we sleep on the couch?

SPEAKER_02:

And why didn't we sleep in their room? Actually, why are we always like a sleeping bag?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. Maybe there were other people there. I do remember crawling out of a sleeping bag though, and I don't know why we weren't on the couch. Okay, so I shipped my pants and I was like, oh fuck, I don't know what to do. Let me take them off and throw it behind his washing machine. That feels like a safe bet. Well, I'm like, oh, if I throw it away in his trash, hi, whose boxers are in the trash. Let me just take off my shit stained pants and throw it behind the washing machine. This feels like a more long-term fix. There's no way a lot. It was like a pretty good bit, like a noticeable amount.

SPEAKER_02:

Was it your sleeping bag or his?

SPEAKER_00:

It doesn't matter, his. But um that was the sleeping bag was fine. And so are my shorts that I had on. My um, so it was just a good amount of damage to the actual anyway. So then I grab um a pair of his dad's boxers from the dryer, put them on, walk home at three in the morning. He lived like a mile and a half away from me. Because I'm like, I'm not gonna call my mom. Hey, I shit my pants, like, which I guess I could have like lied and said I was sick. I'll just walk home. It's I'm not gonna make it. So then I'd walk home, and then I have to like wake up my parents, and then I'm just like, I'm just I just I don't didn't feel good.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know why again, like I should have just so then did they find out anyway.

SPEAKER_00:

So then that happened when I was in sixth grade, and then he was like my best friend all throughout high school, and like at the end of high school was like, Logan, I have to tell you something. I did shit my pants out of your house and throw out behind your washing machine. He's like, Oh yeah, I I knew. And I was like, What do you mean? What do you mean you know? And he's like, Well, like two days after my mom was like, Hey, I found these behind the washing machine. Like, are those any of y'all's? And they're like, No, and then like we immediately just knew they were yours. I'd been friends with this guy for genuinely eight years after that experience, and he knew that I shit my pants out of sleepover and threw it behind his washing machine, never brought it up, never changed anything about it.

SPEAKER_02:

That's really cool of him. And it's nice he like didn't tell anybody.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, he also knew that you were real ones. He learned from that that you were the type of person to do some something like insane like that, and like never tell him.

SPEAKER_00:

It's not that insane. Like, I feel like it makes sense. That's like what would y'all have done? Not throwing them behind it and then take their dad's boxers and walk home. This week we're dialing in someone who's in a lavender marriage, I guess would be if y'all don't know what a lavender marriage is, but I it's also confusing because this guy knows he's gay, but they're married. I met this very, very bizarre couple out recently.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't say that they're weird.

SPEAKER_00:

That's no, they're just like there's something off about these people, and I like they I it's not that okay.

SPEAKER_02:

They're really sweet though.

SPEAKER_00:

They are so sweet, and there's a reason why I want to have them on the podcast because they are just they are very interesting, and they are it's a gay man and a straight woman, but they're married.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, how did you meet them?

SPEAKER_00:

They were just like at a bar that I was at, and the guy like bought me a drink because we both were like waiting for like 30 minutes, and then he like made a joke, and then he was like clearly gay, and then was like, This is my wife, and I'm like, What what was that, BB?

SPEAKER_06:

Why?

SPEAKER_00:

Your wife?

unknown:

Ah!

SPEAKER_00:

You're a gay man. Uh, but anyways, they are somehow making it work. But I've been telling you guys about that TikTok couple that I'm obsessed with, where it's like this straight woman who's married to a gay man, and he's like, Yes, I am a gay man. Yes, I am married to a woman. What are you not getting? Like, it's like very, very funny, and this is like the closest thing that I had to getting them on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you like did you catch a vibe that it was like romantic or did it seem like it wasn't telling its purposes or because why would I mean I guess there are they will tell us why they would be in a marriage.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, which one is it the sexually attracted to each other?

SPEAKER_02:

But then also like Is he openly gay?

SPEAKER_00:

I think so.

SPEAKER_01:

And wait, is are you calling the guy or the girl?

SPEAKER_00:

The girl wasn't it the girl who responded, Bailey?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so I okay, so Brett told me he wanted this couple on the podcast. Somehow, how did you get their number?

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, how is the phone ringing right now?

SPEAKER_01:

Wait, it's not even plugged in, is it? How would that be- Answer it?

SPEAKER_00:

Hello? Hi. What do you mean? What do you mean here? Did you give her my address? One second. Is that you? Okay. Okay, great. Yeah, we'll open it up for you. What do we do? Wait, did you give her our address?

SPEAKER_02:

No. She literally said she was like, when when are you guys gonna call? And I said, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00:

I l like how would they have gotten my address?

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, like, we have to let them in.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

We've never had like a Wait, we're doing live. Wait, where are they?

SPEAKER_00:

This is live television. I don't know. We have some extra. Can we just pull the pull those up? I guess we could Oh my god, okay, okay. Okay, we're coming. Okay. Hi, you guys came. Yeah, of course. We showed up. Yes, we got this from the bar.

SPEAKER_04:

We got it from the bar, so you see you. That would be nice. As expected. Thank God. Didn't want to stand the whole night.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, I missed you guys' names. What are they? Oh, hi, I'm Beth, and this is my husband. Brandis.

SPEAKER_04:

Hi, I'm Brandis. How are you? It's so nice to meet you two. You too, Queen. Oh my god, I love your lip gloss. Thank you. Who is that? Rare beauty. Oh my god, she's Diva.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, thank you guys. It's good to see you guys again. It's Beth and Brand.

SPEAKER_04:

Brandis. Brandis. I thought that was.

SPEAKER_00:

How do you spell that again?

SPEAKER_04:

B-R-A? Oh, inside joke. Sorry. Oh my god. B-R-L-A-N-D-I-S-S. Like a dis.

SPEAKER_00:

So how are you guys? What's going on? Good. Haven't seen you since what was the bar? Wave Davy Wayne's. And you were telling me you guys are you're married, right?

SPEAKER_06:

Yes, yes. Happily, happily.

SPEAKER_00:

And what would you say yours is like sexuality? Cheers.

SPEAKER_04:

Cheers. I am gay, yes. Okay, good. I know it's hard. A lot of people are like, are you gay? Like, are you straight? I'm gay.

SPEAKER_00:

So you guys were kind of telling me the other night, how exactly does that work?

SPEAKER_04:

We make it work. I think it's very unique between us. I mean, she lets me have my fun. I let her uh do what she does. So are you guys open then? Obsessed with you.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god, gay, baby.

SPEAKER_04:

I love you. Oh, I love you, baby. I mean, at the end of the day, am I gay? A hundred percent yes. Right. Is there still a little bit in me that says, you know what? I like the girl. I like her. But like, obviously, I'm gonna have my boy's night. Right. Absolutely, absolutely. And you're okay with his boys' night? Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you have girls' nights or girl guy nights? Whatever works. Okay, so you guys are open or?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I think we call it. I feel like we're like, don't ask, don't tell.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you want to show us what's in your purse?

SPEAKER_04:

Sorry, one second, sweetheart. As good you'll like it. It's like vanilla. Matches. We have those bad nights when you have one little too many. Give me one margarita. Sue me. I have a cigarette.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04:

I know. And then, you know, it's just like whatever. And uh here and there, got my uh this and I got my wallet. This one likes it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

And it's Gucci, it's Gucci choose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

She likes it. Do you like to shop a lot, both of you?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, we love to shop. We love to shop together, separate for each other and individually as well.

SPEAKER_00:

What do you guys do for your like anniversaries?

SPEAKER_05:

Um, well, recently we went to Tulloon.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god. That was I know. Well, actually, after that, we went to Puerto Vallarta.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god. So it ended up. We actually ended up in a swingers, uh, swingers. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, we had no idea. We didn't know that was. No, we had no idea. We had no idea.

SPEAKER_00:

So you guys participated in the swingers?

SPEAKER_04:

Well.

SPEAKER_00:

Don't ask, don't tell.

SPEAKER_06:

We had fun. Let's say that.

SPEAKER_04:

What happens in stays in.

SPEAKER_00:

So do you guys I don't know if this is too forward, but do you guys are you intimate together or what exactly do you mean? So you guys are obviously very touchy, which I think is pretty. Um, do you guys have sex or oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04:

What was the question? What was the question?

SPEAKER_00:

If you guys are asleep in the same bed.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Yeah, we two guys. We have two, uh well, we have two rooms, of course.

SPEAKER_05:

Two primaries. We have two primaries.

SPEAKER_04:

So, well, we have three. We have two primaries and we have one of the, you know, the one where you have the monk bedroom.

SPEAKER_05:

The thing is he snores.

SPEAKER_00:

I sometimes have to do it.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't snore. I don't snore like that. Like he's not sure.

SPEAKER_00:

So it's the snoring issue, is why you guys have separate bedrooms?

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, yes, no, I think that is it. I tried everything. Sound machine, earplugs, everything didn't work. She loves her sound machine. She cannot have without it. And sometimes she turns it up so loud, I do not know what she's doing in that other room. I do not know what she's doing in that other room, do I? I love that. I love that. I know, I love that. I mean, you're gorgeous. Whatever you do, I support you. I support you. Oh my god. Uh yeah, about to answer something.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I noticed that you guys don't have wedding rings on.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, we do. Well, I'm not. Oh, baby, I forgot mine. Maybe. Maybe I forgot mine.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god, you need to be able to do that. So do you usually wear wedding? Brandis, do you usually wear your wedding ring or no?

SPEAKER_04:

Um Yes, I do. And this is completely freaking awkward.

SPEAKER_05:

This is really Brandis, find it, baby. Baby. It's in the core baby.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you don't have to. We can go on to a different question too, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05:

You never do this. You never do this. Where is it, baby? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm freaking out. It's okay. It's okay. I mean, it's okay. Do you want to do it in an accident? It's an accident.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you want to go to the next one?

SPEAKER_05:

It's an accident. Freaking out.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

You're okay. You're okay.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm freaking out.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you guys want to keep going? Or do you want to?

SPEAKER_05:

I mean I mean, you know where we're going to be. No, no, baby. No, baby. You know where it is. I think it's in my drawer closet. It's in your safe. It's in the safe.

SPEAKER_04:

I just uh I have a new built-in closet that I just installed in the powder room. Okay, so well, we demoed the powder room. Um, yeah, so we're liking that wine, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_05:

You want some more. You want some more Brandus? Yes, uh, yes, sweetheart. Fill it up.

SPEAKER_04:

Love it. Give me one margarita. I'm kidding, because it's wine.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, would you guys are you guys close up with your families?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Do your family well some family members, yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Does your do your families know about know about each other?

SPEAKER_05:

You know, we were originally in the south.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Southern porn and bread.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Southern bread.

SPEAKER_04:

And then we decided, oh my god, let's freaking go to LA.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, cool. What took you to LA?

SPEAKER_05:

Um, so we actually met in Alabama. Incredible. And we loved it. I mean, we could have saved the.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, we could have eaten that up like a white chocolate teramasu cup.

SPEAKER_05:

Which that was the dessert at our wedding, by the way. I hate that you weren't there. You are.

SPEAKER_00:

What does your family think about what? Just uh marriage? Well, yeah, just kind of the setup.

SPEAKER_05:

I'll let you take it. Oh, I mean I'll take care.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I mean That wasn't that wasn't supposed to be like an uh attacking question.

SPEAKER_04:

In fact, like it's a bad thing of what we're doing. No, I'm I think it's to us it's not weird. To us it's not weird.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I wasn't saying it wasn't normal. I was just curious.

SPEAKER_04:

This is bullshit. No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I just it's just like less traditional than like who is that? Stop. You met him. You've met him before. Okay, stop. Anyway, so sorry. Sorry. No, you're okay. You've literally met him. What's the problem? Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Um sorry. Just because you know we've known each other for so long and kind of almost grew up together, so our families have known um both of us for a long time. So they they definitely accept. Do we tell them all the ins and outs? No.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh well, you told. You told me. No, but yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't hey, I don't see an issue with it. So I don't know. Do you? No, I don't. I was just seeming like you do.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I I was just saying, yeah, you know, from being from the south. You said a lot, didn't you? And it's just like less traditional. But I I support it.

SPEAKER_05:

I think it's Which part's not so traditional? I agree.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you for asking that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

Um Yeah, no, back to the question. Well, we have a lot of questions. We can move on to the which part. Did you think which part?

SPEAKER_00:

Do you guys think you'll have children?

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Yes. Do you both want children?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, we're trying the old-fashioned way, um which is has yes. And I think it's working the way that God wanted it to.

SPEAKER_05:

Hey, let's not ask personal questions. I mean, we can't. Yeah, no, we don't know. Well, I mean, he begged us to come over to his house, and then we're going to go to the house. Yeah, you're like, oh, come over to my life.

SPEAKER_04:

This is what we can do.

SPEAKER_00:

Tell him. We don't need to get into it, but I am curious how you guys found my place.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, maybe.

SPEAKER_04:

You asked a bunch of questions. Questions, questions. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we were just struggling.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, that night we met.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Yeah. You told us everything. You told us a lot of things about yourself. Trust me, we have a docket of it.

SPEAKER_05:

Throw a tracker on you.

SPEAKER_00:

What did I say?

SPEAKER_05:

Threw a tracker on you.

SPEAKER_04:

You would want to know what you have.

SPEAKER_05:

Come over to our place when never thank you. Where do you guys live close? Yeah, we live next door. No, no, no. Well, we have the property next door, so we're maybe that's not a condo, but that's our standalone. Okay. Oh, we yeah, no, no, we don't live nearby. That was careful, Brandis. Oh, sorry, baby. You are far.

SPEAKER_00:

So, Brandis, you did you propose to Beth? You pop the question.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you are you we haven't really told you? Okay, you tell it. Do you mind telling me that story? I will let him take you. He loves telling the story. Go ahead. Um how was it? Okay, so I feel like Beth and I first met, obviously. Like we grew up in the same hometown together. You're gonna want to drink for this one. Um we met at the church. And then we met at the church, and I think one weekend we, you know, we just went down to the boondocks over in Mississippi. Yeah, we went down to the boondocks, and then we were down at the dock, and I don't know, like I'd only ever done stuff with guys, and then I just tried to like, I thought I was like, I'm going to Hemill, I'm going to Hemill, and then like Brandon's No. Baby telling, and then I like I just like made a move. Sorry, like I made a move on on Beth, and it ended, you know, in the best decision I've ever made in my life. So that's how we met. And then literally, it took like day. It was fireworks. And what was funny? Yes, it was 4th of July, so fireworks actually did go off. Wow. Like when we kissed. Sorry, it's awesome. Like, it's just love. This is love. You know, she met like my uncle and my gunkle and my aunt and my sussu and my pee-pee and my popom and my people and my toot. And she, you know, they approved. And you know, she actually, it's weird. She asked my mom and my dad if she could like propose to me. Oh my god. And I will kind of let her take it from here. She popped the question.

SPEAKER_00:

Was this at the boondocks? Or was this?

SPEAKER_05:

No, no, it's not square. No, that's for the fireworks for square work. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So that was, but that was the same night? Oh, is it? Okay, very different night, though.

SPEAKER_05:

Very different.

SPEAKER_04:

But it's like pretty down there. Sounds pretty good. No, so we um you talk about it, it makes me crazy.

SPEAKER_05:

Stop, sit up there, sit up there, baby. Okay. Um baby stuff. So yes, I, you know, talked to his parents and everything, and they, uh, you know, being the nice southern family that they are, um, his dad actually gave me his card, his credit card, his bank phone blank check, and said, Hey, you know, if you want to marry my son, that's gonna be the best thing that's ever gonna happen to our family. Um because that they knew we were meant to be together. They knew your struggles. They had known his new struggles. They knew his previous struggles, and they wanted to see us together for some reason. And so his daddy gave me his card. Um, thank you, Mr. Jimmy. Check. And I went shopping, shopping. And you know, you don't have the ring today.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you mind telling me how much the check was worth?

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, is a blank check? Are you talking about for the ring?

SPEAKER_00:

Was that for the ring or was that just kind of like a So the c credit card was for the ring.

SPEAKER_05:

The blank check was for a lifestyle of happiness together. So they paid down payment on the house and whatever we kind of see.

SPEAKER_00:

And they gave you that money, they didn't give it to Brandis.

SPEAKER_05:

They gave well, Brandis, hey, Brandis has access to the cards and then, you know, the trust and everything. They just want to make sure that I was definitely gonna make it.

SPEAKER_04:

Trust isn't going anywhere.

SPEAKER_05:

That's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04:

I know, it's so much more than we're gonna do anything.

SPEAKER_05:

We just they want to make sure that I was definitely gonna make it official with this one. Can I say something?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I thought that she was gonna marry me like just for the money. And from then, like, I realized that it's so much more than that. Yeah, it's it's all about our happiness and your happiness, and you know, does she like go to you know Nordstrom and Macy's and like you know, does she go, does she like get a couple Rolexes, like a couple months just because she doesn't like the color of it anymore? Like, yes. I thought that's wow, you seem really happy together.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. Never seen a happy.

SPEAKER_05:

Are you single?

SPEAKER_00:

I am.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, you are.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, we might have somebody we can set him up with, baby.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, uh, yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Who is it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, tell us what's your type? Oh my god. You okay, baby? What's your tithe? Oh my god. Hey, a lot of questions for us. What's your tithe? Yeah, what's your tithe?

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe like a Speedle Judge, a taller gentleman, maybe?

SPEAKER_04:

How tall? Yeah, out of curiosity. Six one? Yeah, I'm about I'm about six one, two, six feet. Give or take.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, yeah, let's see what else we got. Like more about the city.

SPEAKER_05:

Do you guys have uh we'll think let's think on it. Let's think on it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, just let me know if you think of anyone not in this room. Um do you guys have since the fuck is this about? This is so does it seem like more platonic between you two? Like a platonic.

SPEAKER_06:

Does it look like it? I think Scott.

SPEAKER_00:

So I mean, I'm having a little bit of wine and feeling kind of loose. Can I ask a more personal question?

SPEAKER_04:

I mean, sure, sure, sure. Sure, sure. See where this goes.

SPEAKER_00:

Beth, do you ever wish that Brandis wasn't a gay man?

SPEAKER_05:

So, right, such a good question. Um, I think no, because I think there's a reason that we are together today. Which is um, because we're meant to be together and we both have experienced such happiness together.

SPEAKER_04:

Why did you ask that question?

SPEAKER_05:

And um at the end of the day, this might be a phase for him. It might be a phase.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you okay with that?

SPEAKER_05:

Oh yeah. I mean, when I met him, he was this way, and it's been 18 years, but do I think he's gonna grow out of it? A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, so it's not something that concerns me, right, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00:

Brandis, do you think you're gonna grow out of it?

SPEAKER_04:

Of course. Of course I do. This is a phase for me. And I mean it's just hard, you know, I've struggled with this. I mean, I've told you about my struggle. Sorry, shoulders up.

SPEAKER_00:

We I talked briefly at the bar, I think.

SPEAKER_04:

I didn't No, like I like for real, man. Like, I've struggled with this for like so long. No, like please stop. Like, you're you asked me, you said I was just I just yeah, you said, oh, so you think because the wine is flowing now that you just get to be like all Mr. Tough Guy and like ask what you want to ask. Like, I have feelings too.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I wasn't e I wasn't trying to No, it's like really hard.

SPEAKER_04:

No, no, it's not that hard.

SPEAKER_00:

You guys I feel like you guys make it work, which is it's exciting.

SPEAKER_04:

Um I love her. So small on small on goss, you have goss or anything.

SPEAKER_00:

What are some things you wish more people understood about your marriage, including me?

SPEAKER_05:

Because I I so you're still not getting it, you know, we're in love, we understand each other, we should each other's best friends and each other's future and past and everything like that. So what's not too good?

SPEAKER_04:

I agree.

SPEAKER_00:

I guess, yeah, you're right. That is would you guys consider it a lavender marriage?

SPEAKER_05:

In what way?

SPEAKER_04:

In many ways, more than none.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

What's the definition of a lavender marriage?

SPEAKER_00:

A lavender marriage is when someone straight is with someone who is gay.

SPEAKER_04:

And can you use that in a sentence more specifically?

SPEAKER_00:

I think you guys are in a lavender marriage.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't think that's a sentence. I think that's more of a state.

SPEAKER_00:

Um I totally agree. Oh, cool. Yeah. This straight woman who is married to a gay man is in a lavender marriage.

SPEAKER_03:

Who?

SPEAKER_04:

Who exactly are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00:

Do you guys think you have the normal gender norms in your marriage? Yeah. Well, who does the cooking, who does the cleaning?

SPEAKER_04:

I I there's a oh my god, you like my you like my seasonal pies.

SPEAKER_05:

I like a seasonal pie.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you a baker?

SPEAKER_04:

Listen, hey, let's just say I'm the pitcher and the catcher.

SPEAKER_05:

And when you have a staff that does it all, we don't need you.

SPEAKER_04:

Um I would say, of course, I love my seasonal pies, but she knows how to make uh your famous Marry Me Chicken. What one am I? Oh, wow. Oh yeah. I mean, the minute she made her Marry Me Chicken, I was literally freaking out because I was like, I'm gonna spend the rest of my freaking life with this woman. Um, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and it has been so special just getting to experience life with her. And I just have to remind myself it's her first time and my first time living life too. And it's everyone on this planet's first time living life too. We have no clue what others are going through. I agree.

SPEAKER_00:

That's great. Well, we have this segment called Am I in the Wrong on this podcast. Um, do you guys want to weigh in on it? I will read it out loud and you guys can.

unknown:

You can hold that baby.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, please.

SPEAKER_00:

Am I in the motherfucking wrong? I, 29F, just found out I'm pregnant. I haven't told my husband yet because the baby's not his. Though he often talks about his dreams of being a daddy, we rarely are intimate due to him being gay.

SPEAKER_04:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00:

I am three months along, and the last time we had sex was our wedding night, but I'm hoping his lack of knowledge of the female reproductive system.

SPEAKER_04:

Sorry. Who does it say who sent this? Excuse me. Um, sorry, excuse me. It doesn't, but I can't see it.

SPEAKER_00:

Does it say it's on the phone? It doesn't say on here, but.

SPEAKER_04:

Did I see it?

SPEAKER_03:

Do you want me to What what? What is that? Did you what is this?

SPEAKER_00:

Am I in the wrong for not telling my husband that I'm having another man's baby? I am three months along, and the last time we had sex was our wedding night, but I'm hoping his lack of knowledge on the female reproductive system will still allow me to pull off this lie. Am I in the wrong for not telling my husband that I have another. That is not me.

SPEAKER_05:

Say everything you know about the female reproductive system. Say everything about the money.

SPEAKER_04:

Pull it up, no, pull it up, pull it up. Yeah, you've had enough time. Pull it up. No, pull it up. I'm serious. Pull it up. I want to see it.

SPEAKER_00:

Submitted by Beth McLaughlin.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm sorry, he does this every once in a while.

SPEAKER_00:

I didn't know that it was yours.

SPEAKER_05:

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00:

Did you realize that I would be saying this out loud?

SPEAKER_05:

I'm sorry, he does this every once in a while. Are you actually pregnant? Um, he does this every once in a while. He acts after he has too much wine and everything. Yeah, so.

SPEAKER_00:

But you're pregnant?

SPEAKER_05:

Um, so he actually acts out like this, you know, when he's had too much.

SPEAKER_00:

And you're drinking?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, he's stressing me out tonight. I don't usually, I don't usually. Um, but yeah, so nothing I want to copy right now, to you, Brett. Okay. Um, do you think you're gonna Hey baby? Calm down a bit. Calm down a good bit.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, Brandis.

SPEAKER_05:

Calm down a little. Um, yes, so if you want to have a different I don't know, submission or anything that you wanted to say, because hey, not that that was about me, but enough about me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I don't think we actually have a different submission, but we can we can just Okay Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, cool. So anyway, what are your plans for tonight?

SPEAKER_00:

It's 10 30 p.m. Um so probably bed. What about you?

SPEAKER_04:

What do you want to do, baby?

SPEAKER_00:

Do we need a we can also stop too if you're good, yeah, that'd be great.

SPEAKER_04:

What do you want to do, baby? We're all good here. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, let's don't play that to work.

SPEAKER_05:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00:

No, we are yeah, that's probably Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_05:

I yes, I yes, I'm gonna go to probably Polo Lounge or something. And uh anyway, yeah, would would you wanna come with me?

SPEAKER_00:

I might, yeah, I might just I'm really tired, so okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, you wouldn't want to join me?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, maybe I'll catch up with you later.

SPEAKER_05:

So Okay, cool. Well, thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, this was so much fun for having you over.

SPEAKER_05:

So we'll do it again. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00:

Awesome, awesome. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05:

Awesome, good to see you again.

SPEAKER_00:

So thank you guys. That's the episode. Yay! Oh, you were filming? Yeah, okay. It's in recording audio, too. I hope that's is that okay?

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, sure, yeah. Definitely. Okay, awesome.

SPEAKER_00:

Cool. Okay, so that just happened. What was that kidding? I assume but most of y'all would had known that that was like a bit. Yeah, those are my friends, Tristan and Channing. That's hey, baby, that's not Brandis. That's that's Tristan. Um, but yeah, we just wanted to do something fun with y'all a little bit different, because you guys aren't really like um, but yeah, I hope that was fun for y'all. We're gonna actually have a real guest on next week. Uh cut the crap. Um, and it's gonna be Halloween themed. But yeah, y'all, that was episode 15. Thank you so much for watching. Also, I've seen a lot of DMs recently saying that you guys have started watching the podcast. Holy shit. Wow, our our our community is growing in a beautiful way. Um join the Facebook group, send in your shit, blow up mine. Oh, also, yeah, so that was Channing and Tristan on my podcast. They are so fucking funny, they're so hilarious, and they actually have their own podcast as well called Not That Y'all Care. Y'all got a little sneak peek of what they're capable of doing, and uh on their channel, they even do more of that. And they do prank calls, which are hysterical. They fucking drive me crazy, but god damn it, well, they make me laugh a pretty good bit. So, yeah, check them out. We'll link their socials in our stuff. Sure. And if y'all are here from Tristan and Jenny, I don't know, maybe you guys could just stay for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02:

And go watch the vlog for the vlog. Just give me these through Halloween.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, seriously, because it's gonna be like a big one for Halloween, and like we have a lot of fun, guys, and it's gonna be great and wonderful. So, yeah, y'all, thank you again for tuning in. I love you to pieces. Uh uh.