Dialing In with Brett

17. do i need a nose job or just special fx makeup??

• Brett Hamilton Productions • Season 1 • Episode 17

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This week on Dialing In with Brett, Brett expresses his love for otters, relives his audition for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and dials in a special fx makeup artist. 


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SPEAKER_02:

Hi, this is Brett. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I There's no way. Hello? What a dick.

unknown:

Ah! Ah!

SPEAKER_00:

Ah! Hey all! Welcome back to our ooh, to another episode of Dying In with Bruh.

SPEAKER_04:

And if you're wondering why Brett is talking a little peculiarly, um, that would be because he has fangs in. And he can't stop hissing. Gag it.

SPEAKER_00:

Gag it.

SPEAKER_02:

If you don't gag it right now, I'm gonna scream. Yes, y'all, I'm in f something feels like it's like flapping.

SPEAKER_04:

It's not.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

I would love for you to stop sucking your space. I know.

SPEAKER_01:

I have to suck my s.

SPEAKER_02:

I felt the flap again. Anyways, I got makeup done this episode. Also, bonus episode. Hey, you're fucking welcome. We didn't have to do two episodes this week, but we did, and because we love you, we're gonna have to take them out.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, take them out.

SPEAKER_02:

One more like good hiss. If you're like if you're watching this visually, and if you're just listening, I mean same shit. I'm just okay, I'm taking it out of time. Alright, we're back, bitch. I can talk normally, kind of, except for the lip is like my lip is quivering. Okay, who else's lip is quivering at episode 16? Y'all, hello. Happy Halloween. I told you guys how I'm kind of anti-Halloween, but Holly and Bailey are very pro-Halloween. Yup. So I've actually decided to be just if you can't beat him, join him. So that's why I have full prosthetic face. I got my facelift on. Um, I was saying I feel very tight, tighter than I'm used to. I feel I am going to get Botox after this because genuinely I love the tightness and the feeling of being.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, we have a very fun episode. We just filmed what now I now have on my face. The girl was great.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, the continuity of this episode is gonna be a little different.

SPEAKER_02:

As opposed to like how like I feel like every episode there's like no continuity at all.

SPEAKER_05:

It's just we like to keep people on their toes.

SPEAKER_02:

Even more, yeah, it's even less continuent continental continental breakfast. There it is. Thank fuck.

SPEAKER_04:

Um Do you like the setup of the set?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I do. You do a great job. I really like like the hat on the like lamp.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm like Why is it kind of like alphabet?

SPEAKER_02:

I know, like sash kidding. Um similar to if you just put like a witch hat on anything, if you have string lights in any capacity in any house, I think that raises the market value of a house by 500,000. Yeah, like if you just have like good Edison bulbs and like a backyard, I will drop an additional it makes the curb appeal a lot more interesting. Like, truly, if I was like a realtor, I would just be like, make sure we have like lights in the backyard.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you like fairy lights?

SPEAKER_02:

I'm straight, but what are fairy lights?

SPEAKER_04:

You know those like lights inside people's like bedrooms? I feel like it was really popular in dorms to have fairy lights strung up.

SPEAKER_02:

How similar are fairy lights to like frat, just like Christmas lights?

SPEAKER_04:

Fairy lights, I feel like are marketed as such. So they're a little more dainty.

SPEAKER_02:

It's giving tapestry. Did you ever have a tapestry in college?

SPEAKER_04:

Of course.

SPEAKER_02:

Was it like some sort of like Aztec adjacent print? I just like it's so crazy though, those were so big because that it gives off such like stoner energy. It really does. But then it like at the same time, we just kind of like shape-shifted it into like fairy lights, like organic girl.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, I don't know how to it's unfortunate that fairy lights are so chooggy because they offer amazing lighting. Yeah. But it's like at what cost?

SPEAKER_02:

At what fucking cost.

SPEAKER_04:

But yeah, we also had a tapestry of um Chris Jenner with like the drink. And the thing that's unfortunate is I feel like people who have those types of tapestries are the least funniest people you've ever met.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, unfortunately, yeah, and I think you're fucking hysterical, but that gives like I can just see like a bar cart directly next to it with one of those fuck ass, like what are those, like those the word boards where it's like say like the welcome fucking shit to room 608.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, and it always those rooms always had a charcoal gray futon too.

SPEAKER_02:

That was so fucking uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04:

Also, like bothering the middle.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, get a couch.

SPEAKER_04:

I know, like they're kind of the same size, right?

SPEAKER_02:

And it's like, oh, that like folds down into a bed. I'm like, well, it's uncomfortable as a bed and also uncomfortable as a couch. Like, I've had a good ass night of sleep on like some couches. Yeah, never fucking slept once on a futon. No, like I don't know how futons did as well as they did. I think we just marketed them, it's like, but it's also a bed. Yeah, it's also so fucking uncomfortable. Yeah. In any form, in any, in any light, in any life, in any lifetime, in any universe, futons are so fucking uncomfortable. But again, like we we put it in with like a college vibe, we you know, found its market audience, and damn. Imagine if like you like came up with the idea of a futon. Like, I want to be the grandson of the guy who came up with a futon, just because I'm sure like you're set for life. Futons have so much power in this country, and it's fucking disgusting. Futons have more rights than most people in this country, and it's fucked up.

SPEAKER_04:

I think speakeasies have kind of gotten out of control. It's gotten to the point genuinely where it's like you have to go down a staircase of 80 stairs. Each step you take, the stair lights up. You get to the bottom, you're met with a wall of chip bags. You have to type in a code that was texted to you an hour prior.

SPEAKER_02:

These fuck-ass like escape room ass setups. Just to like get a$16 beer in a place that like looks like a refrigerator. Maybe him just like jaded. But I'm like, I don't like like shit like that is just like, okay, like I'm 27, like I've I've seen enough. Like I just like want to, I just want to fucking drink.

SPEAKER_04:

It kind of feels like public embarrassment. It's like now bystanders are watching me try to get into this bar. I would rather just walk in somewhere.

SPEAKER_02:

Give me a fucking cold one.

SPEAKER_04:

On tap. On tap.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not here, like I'm not going to like a bar to like like we don't need to make the walking in part an experience. Also, it'll be like I just waited like an hour in line to get into this bar, and then it's like I'm like annoyed, and then it's like crawl through the no. No, bitch, like I've waited an hour. I need a tequila soda, double tequila soda, like now, and I'm not gonna engage. There's a place in LA that is like it's just like not even a speakeasy, it's just like you have to go through like a trap door, and you walk in, and there's like this crazy lady on a bed, and just like says some fuck ass riddle, and then like the bed just moves, and then it's like you go down the stairs to the like bar, and I'm like, why did I have to talk to this like yeah, like this actress? Like, glad someone's fucking booking roles. Like, my god, like honestly, like I'm getting to that point where I'm gonna be an actor out of speakeasy to help people like welcome people in.

SPEAKER_04:

I think I'm gonna become a bouncer.

SPEAKER_02:

I could see you being a bouncer. That sounds like really like you said it, and like me agreeing with you sounds like very like carrying people out of the bar.

SPEAKER_01:

Over your shoulders. Hey, boys, boys.

SPEAKER_04:

I feel like bouncers get away with too much these days, though, because they've suddenly become the face of accepting people into the bar. So it's like you're standing outside, they look you up and down for a full minute and decide if you should get to come in. That's horrible.

SPEAKER_02:

It's like always like with love, like the most like busted guy you've ever seen looking you up and down, deciding whether or not he's gonna let you into a bar with a$30 cover. It's like you're deciding if I can give you$30 to again walk through a fucking freezer to wait in line.

SPEAKER_04:

And are you supposed to look at the bouncer in the eye as they're assessing you? Or just pretend it's not happening.

SPEAKER_02:

I just I I also like I'm 39 years old, but like anytime I use my ID, I'm like still like nervous. I'm like, fuck, what if they don't take it? I'm like, what, like a valid ID? Fuck, what if they don't take a valid ID here?

SPEAKER_04:

No, I always get nervous too, or they're gonna be like, this is a fake.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I promise it's not.

SPEAKER_02:

I already have like my response of like if it's a fake. I'm like, I swear to god, like no, like this is a good one. Oh shoot, wrong ID. Did you ever have a fake ID?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I did from ID God. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah, we talked about it.

SPEAKER_04:

Except I don't I don't know who told me this. Like, this was very stupid. With fake IDs, obviously, you're supposed to get it from like a neighboring state or something. Mine was from Iowa. There's now I lived in Iowa. Went to school in Iowa. So it was very good.

SPEAKER_02:

But also, like maybe it was so fucking dumb that it was smart, where it's like, oh, and obviously they're not this girl's not gonna get a fake from Iowa cut to.

SPEAKER_04:

It was like pretty bad. And I got denied once from a bar, and I was so mortified. I was so mortified, I just sent myself home, and then I never went out again until I turned 21.

SPEAKER_02:

It's always funny when like you would get your ID taken, and it's like obviously you can like get arrested for having a fake ID. And so like one time I like got mine taken, and he's like, This is fake. I'm like, You're right, thank you. And just like turned around. I'm like, Yeah, I'm not gonna actually don't need to get the authorities involved at all. You can have that, it's yours, enjoy it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, just take it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's like I it's not even mine, so like please. Um, yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

There was this bouncer who would always go live on TikTok on Friday nights, and typically I'm not doing anything, and so it's like 11 p.m. and I'm just like on live watching people like go into the bar. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

There's literally something for everyone. Like, truly, it's yeah it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you have any like comfort creators or like comfort content that you go to?

SPEAKER_02:

No, I I did have this, like, I was obsessed with um these two otters.

SPEAKER_04:

Otters?

SPEAKER_02:

Otters, Hannah and Kotoro. They have a YouTube channel, we'll obviously include this in the dump. And like I like they have it's just these two people who have two pet otters, and they have they're separate, they don't live together. No, they live together. Oh Hannah and Katoro Kotoro.

SPEAKER_04:

Those are the otters, yeah, are named Hannah and Kotoro.

SPEAKER_02:

And like Hannah can be a bitch, like to be so honest. Like, and but it's kind of fun because I don't know, it just you guys would love the vibe. And it's like they have like a nice outdoor setup and they play with a hose, which is fun, and then they go like swim around, they have a pool, and they also eat sushi too.

SPEAKER_04:

Are they in a residential neighborhood?

SPEAKER_02:

They're just like it's a guy who owns, yeah, like they live in like a house.

SPEAKER_04:

The otters live in the house.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. It's just is that I think this is in like Asia somewhere.

unknown:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

So but I also don't know if that's like a culturally like a normal thing or if it's just like weird.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I guess I don't I've never like questioned if otters are otters found in the ocean.

SPEAKER_02:

I feel like they're not like the ocean, but they're like other waters. Actually, that's not true. I swam with one time I was really fucking drunk. Um after saying really fucking drunk just sounds like aggressive. I was like, okay, I was like not that drunk. Like I was still crazy. No, I'm like, was of age, I was tipsy, like Jesus Christ. Like I'm it's not bad. Um after doing bottomless mimosas, and we ran into the ocean, and there was an otter swimming next to me. And I truly have like the ocean.

SPEAKER_04:

Are you sure it was an otter? I don't think I know what an otter looks like.

SPEAKER_02:

What's the difference between an otter and it was a seal?

SPEAKER_04:

Or a sea lion?

SPEAKER_02:

Well why the fuck do we have like three animals that are damn near the same?

SPEAKER_04:

And what's the one that's like a killer?

SPEAKER_02:

Or if it's like sea and I think sea lions are like dicks, like they like don't play well with others.

SPEAKER_04:

I really, really don't know. Okay, here's otters the ones who hold on to each other to sleep. Yes. That's so cute.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, you should see Hannah and Kotoro. You would love Hannah and Katoro. They're like so sweet. Once you get to know them, Hannah Gun is up. But um, yeah, no, that's it's crazy. Like, what family are otter sea lions and seals a part of?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know. Marsupials? No, wait. What is a marsupial? I've gotta go back to school.

SPEAKER_02:

No, genuinely, this is like because I'm like, I know marsupials aren't like like marsupials and phalanges like are giving the same energy, but like I know. Who what the fuck's a marsupial? That's like a butterfly. Mariposa getting, I don't know. Yeah, damn. Like, we need to like read a fucking textbook. This is getting scary.

SPEAKER_04:

No, like genuinely, I would have my ass handed to me on that show. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

SPEAKER_02:

That that shit pissed me off though, because I'm like, where the fuck are you finding these fifth graders? Because I'm like, I was older than them by a pretty good bit. And it's like, y'all, I don't I was in fifth grade too, bitch. We didn't learn that.

SPEAKER_04:

They were literally like solving Pythagorean theorem.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I was like, baby, we like learned cursive in fifth grade at my school. Like, I don't know how the fuck y'all are like kids don't know cursive these days. Reciting the Declaration of Independence. Like, what the hell? Honestly, no, we had like, what was that fuck ass schoolhouse rock?

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god. Did I tell you? I'm just a billy. Yeah, I'm just saying. I'm only a billy.

SPEAKER_02:

What was the other one? Oh, we the people in order to find a more perfect union, establish justice and church of massive tranquility.

SPEAKER_04:

Ooh, you just put me onto something new.

SPEAKER_02:

It's so funny. One time, um, this is when I was a kid, I really wanted to be in the Charlie Chocolate or Willy Wonka and the Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin and the Charlie Chocolate Charlie and the Chocolate Chocolate. Charlie and the chocolate Charlie in the Chocolate Factory.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That sounds weird coming off. Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, and it was at like a local playhouse in Des Moines, Iowa. Obviously, auditioned for Charlie. And it was a musical, and so you had to come in with a song prepared, and I was like, I don't know. I had like child star energy where I'm like, I don't like actually need to prepare, like maybe I like got the role, like easy. Um, so the song that I had prepared was the we the people and oh no, completely fucking blacked out, forgot it entirely, and then they like suggested I sing another song, and it was like I forgot what the second song was, but it was like a song that like everyone knows, like it genuinely might have been the national anthem. Blacked out, could not remember that. We resulted in singing happy birthday, and this was my audition. Um, and like there were other people around, everyone started singing happy birthday because like everyone felt bad for me because I just forgot two songs, so the entire fucking like cast and crew, kidding, but like all these kids and their fucking moms are all singing happy birthday, like and it's because I just like shit the bed, and so then my audition became like a group audition. Obviously, didn't get the fucking role, can't even fucking sing a single song, don't know one song, so didn't get Charlie. And then I remember stage fright, probably, but also like not being able to like like girl rehearse. Like, what do I like still don't really know all the words to that song that I sang, and even at that time I'm like, I don't even think I like really knew all of it, but I'm like, I feel like good about it. Shuntav. And then I remember being like really weird and being like, Mom, I really want you to audition for the role of like Violet's mom.

SPEAKER_04:

The blonde.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and we're gonna be.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh no, wait, Violet was well, wait, they both had Bobs.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, the Bobs. I wanted her to be the mom bob, and I was like, audition, like like moments like these don't come soon enough. Like, mom, seriously, you should do it. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity were after just watching me flop so fucking hard, and I was like, I honestly think I thought I was still gonna be. I actually I don't think we ever like talked about it because I honestly think in the moment I kind of like I knew I flopped, but in a way I was like, okay, but like I did kind of like do a pretty good job at happy birthday. Like I was like hitting a few like higher notes, which I was really impressed with, but obviously it didn't go the role, but I think I was like, oh my god, mom would be so fun if we like both were in the play together again after I just completed.

SPEAKER_04:

Mother son duo taking the Des Moines playhouse by store.

SPEAKER_02:

We really could have marketed that well, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Wow. Speaking of happy birthday, at my old job, we had to like sing happy birthday when it was people's birthday and like take them a cupcake, and you would like genuinely sing happy birthday.

SPEAKER_02:

I wouldn't, and then But like you were expected to?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, it was like you were to give them a cupcake on the house, which like wow, you're so fucking sweet for that. Um and that didn't come off as like sarcastic.

SPEAKER_02:

Holly cut this, but anyway, so But I do think like having to like sing someone happy birthday while you are like at work is some sort of like also you're paying me minimum wage, like I'm not going out there and singing happy birthday and getting the rest of the staff.

SPEAKER_04:

But anyway, the reason I'm saying this is because one time staff over a big one. I will some people would like do it by themselves. Actually, no, nobody did that. Solo I like would make because a lot I worked with a lot of like musical theater kids, and I'm like, you go like lead this because I can't do it at all.

SPEAKER_02:

Do a flash mob at table 74 for their birthday. Here's the cupcake. We're turning the bigger. Do a dance number, do a routine or something, do your whole thing.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Um, one time though, someone came in and was like, hey, my friends are join joining me. Um instead of saying singing happy birthday, can you sing happy?

SPEAKER_02:

Like, I'm already like, baby, I don't want to sing happy birthday. You can't put in requests. Like, I'm not a fucking DJ here. I don't do multiple numbers. I'm barely doing the one.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

Um, can you sing happy hatch day?

SPEAKER_02:

No. What the fuck's a hatch day?

SPEAKER_04:

They're the only table in the restaurant. Me and my coworkers go over.

SPEAKER_02:

What's hatch day?

SPEAKER_04:

Worse, it was all men between ages 25 and 28, I would guess.

SPEAKER_02:

First of all, if I'm singing anything to a group of 25 to 28-year-old men, it's the last song I've ever singing.

SPEAKER_04:

I couldn't even get the words out because I was like laughing so hard. Right, they didn't react.

SPEAKER_00:

Hatch day.

SPEAKER_04:

They sat there like this, straight face, no laughing.

SPEAKER_02:

So my coworkers and I are like, we just had a fucking Happy Hatch Day, our big hatch day number. We fucking rehearsed for this.

SPEAKER_04:

It was more than a big thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Did you ever figure out what hatch day was?

SPEAKER_04:

No, to this day I don't.

SPEAKER_02:

Is hatch day like a thing?

SPEAKER_04:

I I guess like hatch day is in like maybe like an egg hatching, like happy hatch day, but like why do I have to be embarrassed at the sake of like your entertainment?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh like I don't give a fuck if it's your hatch day. I don't give a fuck if it's your hatch day. I'm not performing. To be a woman is to perform for men on your on their hatch day. I feel like hatch day has the same energy as gotcha day, which like I actually want to talk about this for a second. I love my dog to fucking pieces. She's perfect. I think she's the most beautiful dog I've ever seen my entire life. She's the sweetest angel ever. I didn't post for her b her first birthday, and like I need y'all to know, like, that's impressive. That is impressive. Like, y'all are doing your I see you guys your gotcha day, your six months, seven months. Y'all are treating this like it's a fucking baby. Like, even your baby too. I don't need to know when it's a a month older. Like, you can do I I think with a baby picture when born, sure, fine, I'll give you that. We can do like three months, six months, a year, and then we're jumping right to two years. We're not doing, we're not getting into the nitty-gritty of months. I also just like the idea of months when like I'm like, oh my god, how old's your kid? And they're like 18 months. I'm like, I don't I don't I don't know enough about kids to be like, I know what a fucking 18th month or month or old. Fuck your like my son's nine months old. Your son's zero. Zero until proven one.

SPEAKER_04:

So it's so you're against like the sheet with like the circle around the month and the baby laying in the same spot each month. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Also, let's just stop with National Boyfriend, girlfriend day, let's stop with National Sibling Day while we're at it. Like, I just like those come 15 times a year.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I swear it's National Daughter Day every day.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm always see which that's kind of sweet, but also Like I feel like that's just because like moms like love posting shit on Facebook where it's like my daughter.

SPEAKER_04:

I nominate 15 other moms to share their daughters.

SPEAKER_02:

We need to do more of nominations and posts. I'm just everything I post now on the dialing in the state.

SPEAKER_04:

Or those tags where it's like a she it's like eight squares and it's like tag your tall friend, tag your funny friend.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's do the trendy remember where it's like let's get all the way through the alphabet, starting with Addison Ray, and then I will be B, and then let's just Who can we get for C? Chris Brown, get in, he's a bad person. Um Christina, let's just do someone insane. Chris Cassano. Chris Cassano.

SPEAKER_04:

Hi, Chris. Chris mentioned mentioned, he's a good one. And then for D, we could do David Dobrik. Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

E, we've got Evangel Angeline. Evanescence? Evanescence? Oh, that's pretty. Uh but it was the Angeline thing.

SPEAKER_04:

Take me back. Um what is it?

SPEAKER_02:

Crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

My heart belongs to the Angeline. Right now, you look like you have the chap most chapped lips I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_02:

Literally the comments on my like TikToks.

SPEAKER_04:

Her lips definitely are crusty. That's a deep cut. Do you know what that's from?

SPEAKER_02:

Um Emma Chamberlain. Yeah. Yeah. Um and E.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, we could have used him for the chain. Oh yeah. E Dolan.

SPEAKER_02:

I tag Ethan. Um I like hate just like little like marketing posters. Like, you know, just like when like a company has like a little what would you even call those like type of like I don't know things outside of like the where it's like a noodle place and it's like sending.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, they're like promo board or whatever.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, some shit like that. Anyways, I used to live in this apartment complex called the Angeline. Like, what are you like, okay, sure. And there was like in the parking garage, there's this huge mural that said, Angeline on my mind. What are you fucking talking about?

SPEAKER_04:

The most like sterile apartment building you've ever been in.

SPEAKER_02:

My like literally, my like apartment complex was like all cement walls, like so depressing, no natural natural light. Angeline on my mind. Like, y'all just can't just be saying shit.

SPEAKER_04:

What are you on about?

SPEAKER_02:

What are you going on about?

SPEAKER_04:

With it being autumn, do you find yourself ever listening to like autumnal indie rock music, if you will? Like the Lumineers and Mumford and Sons. Like millennial kind of music.

SPEAKER_02:

Sometimes, like, there is like we've talked about this before, like, music that gives Christian energy without being Christian. Yeah. And sometimes I'm like very aware of that. Like six seasons I loved, and then I was like, damn, this kind of like feels like worship and like a way.

SPEAKER_04:

Wait, who?

SPEAKER_02:

Six seasons. Oh who was that? Oh, six seasons, yeah. I went to high school with him. Okay, sorry, I just didn't hear it. So Noah. Um, so no, Noah. Um, but like sometimes in just like that type of music, it just feels like Republican in a way that I'm like uncomfortable with. But sometimes like in like spurts, like fuck yeah, ho hey, yeah. What's the Angelo?

SPEAKER_04:

That song got me through some really dark times.

SPEAKER_02:

You are the Angela Angelo on my mind. So y'all aren't gonna believe this, but I'm not gonna get my my makeup done. So yeah, again, like nothing in this episode, nothing in this podcast is ever chronological. Continuity.

SPEAKER_04:

Chronological, that was the word I was looking for earlier.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I've just like known words and shit. I like to read. I'm still I know I've I told you about how I was gonna read four books by the end of the year. Ooh, ooh, still on Giovanni's room.

SPEAKER_04:

The other day I was like walking through the hallway. Let me know why Giovanni's room is face down on the ground in the hallway.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Um, it's like a 150-page book, and I'm like having a very, very hard time with it. I don't know why I like literally just liked the cover, and then I picked it up and like I didn't read enough to know that it was genuinely like written in the 1800s.

SPEAKER_04:

Bitch, like Was it written in the 1800s?

SPEAKER_02:

1927, damn near. I do suffer from brain raw. And I also, oh wait, we're doing this.

SPEAKER_04:

You said that in a way that you were going to say like a life-threatening disease. It is.

SPEAKER_02:

I do suffer from it's a brain-eating anema. What is it? Brain eating enigma, flash eating. What is it? Brain eating.

SPEAKER_04:

I actually have no idea.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm looking it up. Brain eating. Amoeba.

SPEAKER_04:

Amoeba. Doesn't Clara have a song called Amoeba?

SPEAKER_02:

Amoeba. Brain eating Malik. Jesus Christ. The brain-eating amoeba is a single-celled organism found in fresh, warm, fresh water that can cause a rare and fatal brain infection called primary amoebic. Man, she's gonna have copylist. I like that I wish I was a single-celled organism. Like Are we? No. We have a ton of cells. Damn, we like genuinely, like, this is our this is my sign to take an online course.

SPEAKER_04:

Like no, it's really, it's really bad.

SPEAKER_02:

And I also like, here's my issue is I love just like saying shit like brain eating amoeba, like having no fucking idea what that is, but I'm like, I do like randomly, it spawns my memory from like something I read about in seventh grade and wasn't paying attention to. I got insinuate and alleviate mixed up for a while.

SPEAKER_04:

That's okay. Yeah, they're very similar.

SPEAKER_02:

And also like I rarely like ever but it like sucks because that's like when I do have like a good word that I use. Yeah, because I just say like and fuck every other word. So when I have like a fun one, it's like it's nice to just throw in there. Yeah. But then it's like so fucking embarrassing when it's like my big one is like used wrong. Right. Well, you do you have any words that like you like to throw out every now and again where it's just like, yeah, like I have a degree and it's important for you to know that.

SPEAKER_04:

Um, I love the word duplicitous.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, like something we all know. Like guess what?

SPEAKER_04:

I won third place in the spelling bee in elementary school.

SPEAKER_02:

I didn't know that that should actually happen. I thought it was just mostly Akeelah and the bee, but I didn't know.

SPEAKER_04:

Like you just unlocked a memory for me. I forgot about that, maybe. My brain eating amoeba just revealed to me.

SPEAKER_02:

My brain eating amoeba and the bee.

SPEAKER_04:

So yeah, Brett's gonna get his makeup done.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna get my makeup done. What you ready see it fully done? But you're gonna love the it's a the process is is pretty. Alright, yeah, I'm gonna get my makeup done. Um, what is like the first step before you get into it?

SPEAKER_03:

So pretty much we just like do skin preps, so we just like do a little toner on the face and then glue the eyebrows down if we're doing a brow piece so you don't get them ripped off. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And we are doing the I do want to do the brows, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

We're doing the brow and then some horns, then a lip piece, and then little vampire things that'll be like the last one. Yeah, you can show them, do whatever.

SPEAKER_02:

So this. Is just like this is for the lips, and it kind of what does the like bottom part do?

SPEAKER_03:

Nothing, it just kind of makes it look like a little demon lift lip, but right now it kind of just looks like a butt, but it's not, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like when it's on your face, it'll it'll look better, and then the little horns, of course. But yeah, let's let's get let's get prepped and ready.

SPEAKER_03:

Have you had um prosthetic makeup done before?

SPEAKER_02:

I had like a random wound I got when I was like filming this really bad like movie thing that I was in, but that's about it. But it looked pretty like not real.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh really?

SPEAKER_02:

But then with like the camera, it like like looked fine, but it just it was not.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, you're like it wasn't it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I'm like, it's like embarrassing to have like really bad fake prosthetics because it's just like I just at this point just we'll just not do anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you're like, I'd rather not like just throw blood on it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

When did you start doing like special effect makeup?

SPEAKER_03:

Same year too. So I started doing special effects makeup because that was like what I was interested in because I love Halloween and like creating creatures and stuff, and then I started doing beauty too, because I was like, Oh, I want to be like a makeup artist and do like TV and film and commercials and stuff.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

So yeah, and then here we are.

SPEAKER_02:

What is the easiest and hardest look to do SFX-wise?

SPEAKER_03:

Um I'm trying to think the easiest and hardest. Well, recently I had to do like I had to turn someone into a full cat, and so I had to do a lot of like hair work, and I realized like thank god I'm not a hairdresser because like the feeling of hair like flying in my face, and I was like, I can't, I need to wear like a full hazmat suit. But it was fun, it was like something different. But I think that one is hard because it's like so meticulous, right?

SPEAKER_02:

I want to be made into a full cat. Are there any looks like you don't want to do anymore that you've either done like so many times or you're just like I don't I hate doing this look?

SPEAKER_03:

It's not that I hate it, I think I just get requested a lot, even though the movie came out like forever ago with that avatar the blue avatar. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So like it's like are we still doing the blue avatars? Yeah. This is yeah. Like I guess our time has come and gone.

SPEAKER_03:

I know, it's been there, it's happened, but like a hard makeup or whatever I think is just a super like requested one.

SPEAKER_02:

Is what do you say that's like the most highly requested look?

SPEAKER_03:

Surprisingly, yeah. Well I guess zombies, zombies too. Like that one's like a classic one, something like dead or but that like kind of makes sense.

SPEAKER_02:

Like if you like zombies and vampires is like you know them, you love them, like you know, yeah, the classics, but it's like really avatar. Again, like it came out so long ago, and it like what did it really even like take our planet by storm? How hard is it to get the not like just because I'm like worried, but just like general curiosity, how hard is it usually to get prosthetic makeup off?

SPEAKER_03:

It's not hard if you have the right removers, so I have a bunch of different like special removers that are oil-based, but uh most like 99% of the time I'll remove it for the actor and stuff, unless like I'm doing an event or like a Halloween party, and then I'm like, okay, if you're taking off yourself, like here's a little kid, here's how you do it. Like call me if you need anything, but for like full face, like head ones, and I'm like, I need to come, like someone needs to help you. You're not gonna be able to do that on the back of your head.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, do you have like a is there a makeup trend like not specific to SFX? I just like keep saying SFX, like okay, guy who knows what SFX is. Um that you can't stay in just like an everyday makeup trend.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I feel like I like all the trends because they are like fun usually. I think maybe actually the clean girl aesthetic I don't really like as much anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

What's the clean girl aesthetic in the makeup world?

SPEAKER_03:

Just super plain, just like kind of like the no makeup makeup, but it's just like just like fun, the like tinted moisturizer and like blush mascara, and they're like, that's it, which is fine if you want to do that, but I feel like they're taking away like a lot of the fun when people want to do like a full beat or like a bright look or like do whatever to be like creative with their makeup, and now they're like, oh no, just do like the bare minimum, which is fine when you want to, but I feel like it's trending that way. It reminds me of like how um buildings and designs and architecture, everything's like all white or neutral now instead of like yeah, and like modern and sterile.

SPEAKER_02:

I can't like the like sterile barn like look is like sterile walls, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Sterile form makeup.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you ever like see on TikTok people like using makeup products or just doing their makeup like completely the wrong way and it like drives you nuts or no?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my god, yeah. For beauty makeup, not as much as like everyone that's like foundation and mascara, whatever, and like that's not really a wrong way to do it that much. But um, for special effects, yeah, because like obviously you have to do a bunch of different chemicals, including adhesive, and some people will use like the most dangerous shit or like stuff that I'm like, what are you okay? But then they'll do it on like on a YouTube channel or like teaching other people. I'm like, don't do that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, don't listen to her, don't do that. What are your thoughts on James Charles?

SPEAKER_03:

A lot of times like makeup artists have like not beef with influencer makeup artists, it's because they call themselves like professionals, but they only do makeup on themselves, so they don't know how to do other skin tones, other eye shapes, other like any other features besides their own. Right. And but they say they can and they'll get these like big sub clients, and they can do like a beautiful makeup on themselves and they do it on someone else, and they're like not sanitary. They like double dip and just like put someone's lip gloss like directly and I'm like dumb. I'm like, don't do it. I'm like, you're really talented, but just like take a few days to like learn how to clean your stuff before you're gonna do it. Wash your brushes, baby.

SPEAKER_02:

Take a sec, take a beep, wash your brush. I want you to make me a prosthetic nose that's like the ideal nose, and so then I can decide if I'm gonna get a nose job or not after. Well, but I just want to see like me and a little button nose.

SPEAKER_05:

Like what it would be like.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, maybe even like I'll have you do like a grinchoville.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, that'd be really cool.

SPEAKER_02:

Because I think if I had like a grinchovil nose with like my face right now, like wow. What's the weirdest thing someone has asked you to turn them into?

SPEAKER_03:

The weirdest thing. Oh my gosh, well, another podcast was for um Noelle and TMG Bryce Hall was coming on, and then he they were like, Can you make someone have a dick coming out of the back of their head? And I was like, What? And I was like, And I was like, he's like in a wig, and I was like, You want a dick wig? And they're like, Yeah, and I was like, okay. Never done that before. Dick wig is crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

So did you make the dick wig? Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

I was like literally just making it up, I'm like, how can I get this? So I literally had to buy a dildo and then sew it into a wig. Oh my god. And just like hoping. Like, what am I doing for Bryce Hall? Yeah, and I was like, okay, well, you know. That's so funny. My parents are like, what's your job? I'm like, no baby. Dick wig.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so funny. Crocheting your dildo into it. Sorry, I can't come out tonight. I have to finish crocheting my dick wig by morning before Bryce Hall. What are your thoughts on going to Turkey for a hair transplant?

unknown:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02:

Because I'm going, baby. Kidding. Just actually text that to me later. So I'll just text it to you daily. Yeah. Hey, baby, you have hair. Um, I do need to be reminded. I like don't know if my hairline's like getting bad or if I'm just insane.

SPEAKER_04:

I think you're insane.

SPEAKER_02:

I know, but like, what if it is getting bad? Then I'll go to Turkey. Like, genuinely, like, I'm like, do I just hit Turkey now before like because like imagine in three years, God willing, I will be booked in a something or another, and then I can't just go to Turkey. Like, right now I have like a pretty free schedule. Let me just get ahead of things and book my turkey flight. I always like think about people who are in like heavy, heavy, heavy SFX. Again, I could just say like 13 more times makeup, and it's like it'd be so funny to be like the Fantastic Four guy. I guess you can like kind of see I'll think of a better example. Well, even like Mike Myers, but if it's like, yeah, actually, I played Mike Myers in the it's like, what do you like how no one would ever know, you know? Like that's just like that could have been anyone.

unknown:

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02:

Or if it's like, oh, I was like the voice of one of the minions in Despicable Me. Like, I just like wish I had like a random like lore like that where it's like no one knows who these people are. Right.

SPEAKER_04:

I see what you're saying. You saying Mike Myers reminding me I didn't know the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers until like two.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, I'm talking about Michael.

unknown:

Yeah, Mike Myers is an awesome power.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

No, I genuinely thought Michael Myers is the same person.

SPEAKER_02:

So who is that? We don't know that like the actor, that just like a guy.

SPEAKER_04:

I think so.

SPEAKER_02:

And so that's where I'm like, I wish that like I could just like drop the lore of like I am Michael Myers.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. So is like the um like SFX artist community like an inner circle, if that makes sense. Like, do you all know of each other?

SPEAKER_03:

Mostly, yeah. I feel like it's like a pretty small community, even though like a lot of us. I feel like everyone, if they don't know each other, they'd like know someone who knows each other, or like a friend of a friend, or like they'd follow each other on Instagram or something. So I feel like it is a pretty small community, especially within like FX artists, and then a female effects artist too. Like, we all are like I don't know. Because it used to be like a really, really male-dominated field. Right. Which is funny because I feel like a lot of people think like, oh, makeup it's like women, but like back in the day it was like super male dominated, like only men were makeup artists for like teen and film, and like it actually used to be bad because they they thought women were hairstyles, they got paid less in the same union, and then like men were the ones to do it. Especially effects with like shop and monsters, but now it's like a lot of women are in it too.

SPEAKER_04:

What makeup brushes do you use, or what do you recommend? This is a personal question because I need to do it.

SPEAKER_02:

And how often do you clean them?

SPEAKER_03:

I have to clean them all the time. Like, I feel like half my life is cleaning brushes. Do I have to do like a deep clean so I like wash it with like the brush soap and then doing that thing, and then I let it dry, then I have to sanitize it and like spray it and like wipe the handles.

SPEAKER_04:

I honestly just like use my fingers, which I know is like disgusting, but I do need to get brushes or better brushes.

SPEAKER_03:

Honestly, the one thing with my friend, um, who's like back and barrel and she's like, I just can't, my makeup doesn't turn out how I like it. Like, can you just I don't know what it is. Like, let me just watch how you do it. She used one brush for like every shade like when I laid foundation, contour, blush, and I was like, girl, that's what you're not gonna look like anything. And she's like, Oh So um, I think the brushes I need to look at my kit. Royal and Link nickel is really good, and then Delium with a T is good. I'll send you something, but those have really good ones and they last forever, like they won't like the bristles won't like it.

SPEAKER_02:

What was what's the most time you've spent on a single look?

SPEAKER_03:

I've had to do like a full cyborg makeup and stuff that took a while. Have you looked up and open your eyes? Oh wow, no, you're good with makeup, you like don't flinch. And anything with just like full face prosthetics and like body prosthetics can like take a minute.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you think this will make me like have like kind of like a cute and effortless lisp? Who's like doing the wha? Like who is like who origin where did that originate from?

SPEAKER_04:

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_02:

Wah like account Dracula? No. Feel free to get some clack out of there while you're in there. Like do they should Okay should I put my teeth in my mouth? I really like I don't know how to explain it, but it's like it's so much more like textured than I thought it would be. Like I feel like more like animalistic in a good way. Like it's not just like, oh, beat white with the throwing some buck teeth, like you like really gave me character. Oh my god. Well, thank you so much. Um before you go, what should we know about SFX artists? What do you want to put people on? Also, plug your channels, etc.

SPEAKER_03:

Be nice to your makeup artist, remind us to drink water, don't forget. Um and yeah, just keep hiring us to do fun looks for Halloween events, photo shoots, whatever you need. And my channel is what am I? I don't have a channel. I have an Instagram and TikTok. It's um Shayna S-H-A-I-N-A underscore makeup and then FX.

unknown:

Cool.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my god, well, truly thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

So much for everything.

SPEAKER_02:

No, it's just like wow, like I didn't even think that I could ever look like this, and I was just like kidding. But thank you. I feel great, I feel like so. This is great. Y'all go blow her shit out, you know. If you need a girl, we have a girl. So thank you. And I'm excited to see your Halloween look. I mean, you know it. If you love it, are your AM. I, 24M, youngin, ooh, 24. Ew, don't go to a somber concert, you old fucking hag. Studied to be a special FX makeup artist, and I hope one day I can do it full time. I recently did some major work for a local theme park during Halloween nights. I mentioned this job to some of my family members during Thanksgiving, and they were interested in asking me to see, so I ended up just sharing some photos in our family WhatsApp group. Why does everyone have WhatsApp? Like my cousin 33F, who was a part of the group but didn't spend Thanksgiving with us, replied that it was inappropriate and in bad taste to share such graphic images in a family group where children could see she has two kids, a 10-year-old and a 12-year-old. Why the fuck are they why do they even have phones? Why are they in a WhatsApp group? Like, what are they gonna pro fucking provide? They don't know shit. Like, imagine being in a group chat with a 10-year-old. Like, what? I can't say anything funny. I replied that those were obviously fictional zombie-like characters with deformities and prosthetic wounds that should hardly come as a shock to children whose parents deem them old enough to have a cell phone. That's what I'm saying. And to participate in WhatsApp groups, right? I finished up by saying I'm proud of my work. You should be. I didn't engage anymore because my mom asked me to drop this for the sake of keeping family peace. Am I in the wrong? No. Like, I like hate the parents who are like, it's dangerous, it's scary. Girl, the shit that these 10 and 12 year olds are looking up on their phone, I promise, are so much scarier than some fuck ass zombie makeup with makeup on. Like you're scary, scary. Also, these 10 and 12 year olds are having fucking nightmares from seeing this WhatsApp group chat picture. Grow the fuck up. And again, like these kids, like, I know kids these days, they're these kids are smoking dope, probably, and worried about fucking zombie makeup. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_04:

Also, why would they need to be a part of like the like family plans? Like who's bringing what for family Christmas? I don't think the 10 and 12 year old are providing the Christmas ham.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. They're just gonna send like a gif of like someone flossing. I have like a younger cousin, and every time it's their birthday, my mom will like taxes. Like, hey, it'd be really nice if you sent bleep a gif for his birthday. Girl not a gif. No, I'm not sending a gif. Yeah, a gif. Sorry, G-I-F. GIF. Like that's how you like relate to like a 10-year-old that's like it would be Bret, it would be really nice if you sent him a meme. Also, it's crazy, like telling a uh 10-year-old like happy birthday, but it just means nothing to you. You even know what's going on. Why do you have a phone? Why are you on the WhatsApp? Like a 10-year-old's like a fully functioning human being, like goes to school, can ride a bike.

SPEAKER_04:

At 10, you're in like fifth grade.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm so glad I don't have like younger cousins like that age, because like I don't need to be like I if they were in a group chat, I'd be like, okay, well, I'm gonna say like inappropriate shit, so like get them out of here. Or like, yeah, we can have one for the little kiddos, kiddo chat, kids table, but us grown-ups are gonna send some real shit in like zombie makeup, and you're gonna have to be okay with that. Hi, baby. Who is is this a 33F? Hi, thank you so much for answering the phone. How are you? How are your boys? Are they how are they holding up after seeing a fucking photo of a fake zombie? They're scared. So, yeah, they shouldn't be in the group chat. Also, they're 10 and 12 years old, they've seen and done much worse. Um, so you are completely okay. And again, it's just it's fucking makeup. Tell the kids that it's makeup, they will they will be so fine. Just like kick them out of WhatsApp because like I'd be pissed if I had a 10-year-old in a WhatsApp. But okay, anyways, let me buy insane. Like, truly, don't have kids if you're like this, like worried about them seeing fucking zombie makeup. Y'all, thank you for another awesome episode of dialing in with Brett. I had a great time. Thank you to our SFX artist, which I um adored. Yeah, she was so awesome. She like really made me feel confident, she made me feel myself. Imagine me like cozying up in my bed. Imagine me cozying up in my bed and you tap my shoulder. Anyway, thank you guys so much. Happy fucking Halloween. Go out, be crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

We have one more Halloween episode, by the way.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well, happy Halloween week, happy hate week, happy Halloween week, happy um no dadass, happy Halloween week. Seriously, I mean that. I hope you guys are having fun. I hope you're being responsible. Um, if you are wearing a funny costume, I hope you're not being pick me. Um be scary. I think scary's cool. Scary's in, get prosthetics, Halloween's cool again. Me like less than a week ago, like fuck this shit. Like, really, what am I like, kid? I'm gonna dress up for Halloween, what? I'm gonna decorate my house. Cut to. Oh my god, I'm so excited for you guys to see the Halloween party. Genuinely. It's about to be nuts. And it's all because of Holly and Bailey. I obviously like did virtually nothing to plan it, but anyways, thank you guys so much for another episode. Thank you for always listening. I love and appreciate you guys so much.