Dialing In with Brett

20. if i'm crack climbing then who's driving this bus??

• Brett Hamilton Productions • Season 1 • Episode 20

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This week on Dialing In with Brett, Brett talks about wedding culture, unpacks the embarrassment of falling, and analyzes bus drivers.


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SPEAKER_03:

Hi, this is Brad. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I there's no way. Hello. What a dick.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Welcome back to a special episode of Dialing In with Bret. I'm kidding, it's like the least special episode ever.

SPEAKER_00:

Actually, but special, we mean there will be no guests.

SPEAKER_03:

No, am I in the wrong?

SPEAKER_00:

The sticky note fell.

SPEAKER_03:

There's no fucking way. It's like I'm trying to have a good episode for fucking once. Yeah, this actually is not gonna be a special episode. It's gonna be special in the way that it's not like other episodes, in the way that it's shorter and has less content. It's a mini, mini. This is a fun mini uh mini third thing. Um we had a guest cancel last minute, and that's completely fine. These things happen, and he will be on next week. So when he comes on next week, you know why you're getting a shitty episode. Kidding. Um, we're excited to have him. But we are just doing a little mini episode. I'm jetting out to New York here on Friday for work.

SPEAKER_00:

Must be nice, huh?

SPEAKER_03:

Saying you're going someplace for work, even though like I literally am going for work, just sounds like you're like, shut up. Okay, guy who has a job, get lost.

SPEAKER_00:

But I feel like people normally when they're like traveling for work, they're literally going to like Little Rock, Arkansas. Does anyone live there?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, no, but people go there for work and you stay at like a random ass like Marriott.

SPEAKER_01:

I want someone to comment like, um, Little Rock resident here, raising hands.

SPEAKER_03:

Use the Chrys in Little Rock. I saw this post and everyone was like, Chrisen, I live in a different city. Chrys and I live in Boston. I'm like, shut. I love it though. This is the first episode in a long time where I actually like wrote shit down to talk about. Like Orgo. Um, which honestly, like, as I read through it, it literally just sounds like the bookmarks, the chapter name. So I I Bailey, your job's done, baby. So I'm gonna read them just in chapter format, and then we can three weeks, period tested in three weeks, period switching to natural deodorant three weeks. You can't say you're busy anymore because it's lost its meaning. At this point, I'm just doing this for fun. Posting more does is not equal. I'm not doing well. How are we supposed to sleep these days? Looking great for sleeping four hours. Those are kind of the main points that I want to hit. Okay. So do you guys have are any of them jumped up?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I don't really understand.

SPEAKER_03:

I need to address, first of all, y'all, I don't have an STD.

SPEAKER_01:

Wait, drum roll, please. Drumroll, please. We're about to find out if Brett's test results came back.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm clean. Clean. Oh my god. Which also I was talking to my friend Kat about it, and she's like, Do you mind if I ask what symptoms you had? Oh, baby, none. And then I was like, Oh, that makes like I had zero symptoms. Like, I don't think people are getting tested the way I got tested. I mean, it's probably like safe, obviously, safe, great. I don't think you like need to do what I do.

SPEAKER_00:

They don't really teach us anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, we have no idea. In health, they were just like, okay, do a three-week-long project over syphilis. Find the most graphic images you can, present it in front of class, but I am not gonna tell you about like your body, how to like like we'll make a slide deck and put it in front of your entire gym class of just like very intense genital warts. I'm not going to teach you how to, you know, use a condom, where to get birth control. I'm not gonna teach you any of that, but I am gonna teach you about the disease itself.

SPEAKER_03:

Also, this is like maybe like a weird thing to say, and I guess like why would they teach us how to fuck at that age? But it's like they teach you like everything else, but it's like I genuinely, until I was like 30 years old, like did not know like how sex like you had to find that out on your own.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I don't know. I you're right.

SPEAKER_03:

I guess I don't know why they would teach us how to like how to go down on someone, but it's like, damn, I had to find figure that out myself. Like that is okay. Use a condom. How do I give head?

SPEAKER_00:

We need guidebooks for everything. Yeah. Like a how-to.

SPEAKER_03:

I want to do like a chicken soup for sucking dick. Kidding, cut that. That's like okay, fine, keep it. Ah, I mean crazy. Um, anyways, another thing that was going on with the three weeks. We kept joking because I was like, oh fuck, I need to get tested in three weeks. Like, in three weeks, I'm getting tested. I have no idea where I pulled the three weeks from. And they were like, wait, why wait three weeks? And I was just like.

SPEAKER_00:

Didn't you look it up? Isn't it like after that? I never looked anything up.

SPEAKER_03:

I just a three week sounded kind of just like the sweet spot. And this is also I just switched to natural deodorant, which like I don't know why. I guess I'm just like sweaty and my the aluminum shit's not even working. So I'm like, why am I like risking cancer if I still like sweat through every shirt I wear? Um and so with that too, I'm like, I'll give it three weeks. Give it three weeks. It like what is what is gonna happen in three weeks, or what's not gonna happen. I don't know, but I just feel like it's three weeks, like I'll deal with it in three weeks. Oh, three weeks, three-week mentality.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you can do anything for three weeks.

SPEAKER_03:

Rules of thirds. I also I am wearing my athleisure-looking blouse that has these little finger holes.

SPEAKER_02:

Thumb.

SPEAKER_03:

Which have these thumb holes, which when I wear this, I really feel like I will bully someone into having like an ED. Like it like has that energy of just like I am like the meanest girl. I was this how I feel about having like a Stanley. I lost my water bottle, so I was doing using a Stanley for a second, and I'm like, I feel like so mean in a way where I like should make a nasty comment that will stick with someone forever. So I get why girls with Stanleys can be like really rude, because I'm like, you have that sense of entitlement, and the same with these types of shirts. Like, I'm like, yeah, I could fuck up a bit a bit.

SPEAKER_01:

A shirt with thumb holes, a thick headband, a Stanley cup, a flared legging, an Ug, and a planner with a highlighter.

SPEAKER_03:

Like that, you have the potential to ruin my entire self-esteem. Like one mean comment from you will actually like permanently scar my ego. I have been more active online. I've been posting on my story more, which I really do think maybe I'm just like super critical. Look, seems harmful. Seems like I'm going through something. Yo, I'm actually doing great. I'm actually doing great, and as I post on my story, it's empowering that I'm posting more. And yeah, I found my voice. Like the guy who, like, you know, that never shuts the fuck up. It's just cool that like now. I feel like I'm finally me. And I'm finally like feel finding my voice in like situations. Again, I like haven't shut up this entire time. I'm like, no, it's actually like you guys should be empowered. How are we supposed to sleep? This is my next thing. How are we genuinely supposed to sleep? Because I saw a thing that's like the worst way you can sleep is kind of on your side with your ass cheek just kind of presenting a little bit, just like one cheek up, which is how I sleep, which is like so gay. Like I sleep the gayest way you can sleep, which is fine because it's comy as fuck. Gay's got one thing, gay's got one thing, go for them. It's the way they sleep. Toot it up. Um, no, but it is so comfortable, and I can't imagine sleeping any other way. But then also I got a massage the other day, and the guy's like, You should not be sleeping on your left side. I can see you're sleeping on your left side, lots of tension. I was like, oh shit, okay, like, how should I be sleeping like on my stomach? And he's like, not your no, I wouldn't say your stomach. And then I was like, My back? He's like, uh, back could work. And I'm like, what there's what uh what's left? What's left? I can't sleep like a little F slur kid. I can't sleep tooted up. I can't lay on my back, my stomach. I can't left lay on my left side, like what uh where how the fuck am I? Am I supposed to like sleep in a lazy boy recliner like I'm 90 years old?

SPEAKER_00:

Like how your right side.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Cool.

SPEAKER_00:

I can't go left, go right.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh wow. Go high.

SPEAKER_01:

I sleep like I'm in a coffin, like completely flat with my arms like crossed over one another.

SPEAKER_03:

Like, yeah, the girl you know who doesn't struggle from like mental health. I'm sure you would sleep like you're like rested in a coffin. I also something I'd have looking great for sleeping four hours. Something that people don't know is I barely sleep. And I like look like I barely sleep, but I'm like, the fact that I sleep four hours, I'm like, I look good for sleeping four hours. I look horrible for like if I slept eight hours, like that'd be like, how the fuck do I look like this? But for only sleeping four, I'm like, I'm not mad about that. And I would love to get a place where I'm like eight hours looking refreshed, we're not there yet. But I'm like, for four hours, like I just need y'all to know, like, I'm working on with four hours, so it's like, oh, honestly, like for four hours he doesn't look too bad. But if I was like, I'm getting good sleep every single night, how really? And you look like, um, but yeah, just know I have these dark eye circles because I sleep four hours. One of the things I was gonna talk about is how you can't use I'm busy as an excuse anymore, which just sounds like such a cop-out. But like it's so hard to just like even if you have a valid excuse these days, everyone uses excuses for everything. So it's like no matter, like, if I like genuinely had something come up, regardless, no one's gonna believe me. Or it's like, oh, I'm busy, where it's like, okay, yeah, like you just don't want to hang out, etc. Like, there's even or it's like, oh, like I'm tired, I'm not I'm mentally, I feel drained, like I feel like excuses don't hold any weight anymore, and they just like people just always think you're bailing, even when you are. No, but do you know what I'm saying though? Where it's like, even if you like legitimately had a valid excuse, like if you It feels like you're lying. Yeah. And usually I am lying, but when I do have a valid excuse as to why I need to get out of something, it's like okay, you like I'm I promise. I swear.

SPEAKER_01:

How have you been dealing with it getting dark earlier?

SPEAKER_03:

I really have just been like forcing the like everything's awesome. Everything's really cool, and each day is a new opportunity. Yeah, I'm gonna stretch in my room for a little bit. Yeah, I'm gonna have my green juice. Yeah, I'm gonna do my laundry at 9 p.m.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we're like literally hibernating. It's kinda cute.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's cute for now, but I'm sure it will like I will get to a point where I just go crazy. But I'm like trying to like romanticize like nighttime activities.

SPEAKER_00:

I have a qualm.

SPEAKER_03:

Sure.

SPEAKER_00:

This weekend we were at a bar and this like tall guy walked in. Sheesh kind of holy shit.

SPEAKER_03:

I like where this is headed.

SPEAKER_00:

This taller guy walked in who was like looked just like Miles Teller, which typically I'm like, eh, but this like worked. It worked.

SPEAKER_03:

That's crazy that it's like Miles Teller. Like, I'm like not even into him that bad, but you're like, normally if I saw Miles Teller, uh, that's alright. Like, okay. Kind of crazy, but sure. He looked like Miles Teller, so like mid, I guess. Like, have you seen the men out here? Like, I'm not saying I need to like I mean Miles Teller bad, but like compared to most other Well, the like male manipulator little mustache typically doesn't do it for me. So that shit works. That shit works for me, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Brett likes people that look like they're sculpted by AI. Anyway, yeah. So he walks in. I'm like, wow, that is like the hottest man I've ever seen. And then his petite little blonde girlfriend pops out from behind him. I'm so tired of seeing like a hot, taller person, and then their smaller, like gorgeous girlfriend pops out. I feel like you have to enter a doorway together so I can just immediately know I like you're off limits.

SPEAKER_03:

I also think I'm not a straight woman, believe it or not. But I I think shorter girls need to be doing more to take shorter men off the market and leave the taller gentlemen for the taller girls.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, like I'm 5'4. I need a straight.

SPEAKER_03:

You need to be like I need a 6'5 man. Like that's that. But like I feel like girls who are like 4'11 don't need a man over 5'10. It's like you guys have a pool of men who will still make you feel teeny tiny, but y'all need to be like scalping the five five sixers. Like you guys need to be doing more.

SPEAKER_01:

This weekend I fell down.

SPEAKER_03:

We all had separate experiences this weekend, and take it away, Holly.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I was on the dance floor at a wedding wearing a new pair of shoes.

SPEAKER_03:

And why did I think you're gonna say your new balances? I'm like, you wore that? A gown with new balances.

SPEAKER_01:

I was also drunk, but I swear on my life it was only 15% because of the alcohol, 85% losing traction in my shoes.

SPEAKER_03:

It's so much worse.

SPEAKER_01:

I no, I think it's better.

SPEAKER_03:

What? What? So it's like it's not because I was drunk, it's just because genuinely I'm like kind of uncoordinated. You think that's better? Like, baby, I if I like wiped out in front of a wedding, a bridal party, like I hope that I am slurring my words.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but this is like you don't want to be the person that's too drunk at a wedding.

SPEAKER_03:

So you want to be the girl who's like mildly drunk and still wipes out? Yes. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And I keep like every time I close my eyes, I like replay it in my head.

SPEAKER_03:

See if you were drunk or you wouldn't remember.

SPEAKER_01:

I wish. I need to do that type of therapy where they like erase your memory.

SPEAKER_03:

What type of therapy is that?

SPEAKER_01:

And electromagnetic radiation or something. Wait. Radiation. You're a girl, you're just like, did you like smack down? Smack down. How was the fall? So my feet kind of slipped out in front of me in like kind of like a cartoon fashion, and I kind of like threw my arms around. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Yeah. And then I How'd your feet go in front of you?

SPEAKER_03:

Again, like I can't believe you're standing by the I'm glad I was semi-sober for this.

SPEAKER_01:

I fell to the ground and then my body just kind of like pancaked out. Oh my god. How many people saw? Well, my two friends were. How many people saw I don't know. That's what is the same thing. I don't fucking know. I don't know. No. That sucks. That's what I have to keep thinking about is all the different people from different angles. Like, if they saw how long was I on the ground, I got up and I I mean my friends were very sweet. Um, but I could maybe feel from like deep within them that that like girls.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I also feel like if a girl is like slightly drunk and falls in front of everyone at a wedding, like I will actually remember that for my entire life. Yeah, that's some shit that I will remember forever. So if that makes you feel better, like I totally if that situation, if I was in that situation, I would remember that fall.

SPEAKER_00:

Actually, it's a little bit more. Would you rather have people be like laughing?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00:

Or like, oh, are you okay?

SPEAKER_03:

I always think about if I fucking fall in public, one, pretend like you didn't see that. No one fucking like oh my god, are you that like I that part sucks so much? Like, are we are you?

SPEAKER_01:

If you were the faller and I'm asking, because I genuinely would have liked to know in this situation.

SPEAKER_03:

As a faller, as a baller as a fallen soldier.

SPEAKER_01:

When you fall, how do you act? Do you get up and laugh, or are you like I guess I don't know what the other thing is?

SPEAKER_03:

You have to laugh at all. When I I talked about my big fall, my big when Miles, who isn't listening and probably has never listened to one episode, Kat's boyfriend pulled out the chair from me and then at a bar toppled over. I oh fuck. Like, can you imagine what I just obviously just have to like laugh it off, or else it's like this is Did you laugh it off?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Um shit. But I feel like there's a lot, let's get her an ice pack. Did you just keep dancing?

SPEAKER_03:

Dance like no one's watching.

SPEAKER_01:

I continued to dance.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01:

Because nothing can get me down. And then I like slid again later in the night, but didn't fall. If you were getting married and you had like a bridal party, I don't really know like how that would work.

SPEAKER_03:

Such a fucking insane. Imagine. I don't genuinely, like, now that I'm thinking about it, I have no fucking idea how that would work. Just please imagine. I can't. I would try. Just try for this. Humor me, just try to imagine. Okay, let's we don't even have to get in the Would you let them?

SPEAKER_01:

What if they were like, I want to wear like Tom's?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_01:

No one at my fucking wedding will be wearing Toms or they can't walk or dance in heels. No. What if they said I'd be way more comfortable in New Balance 550s?

SPEAKER_03:

I would be very uncomfortable if you wore your 550s.

SPEAKER_00:

But can they change into their 990s at the reception?

SPEAKER_03:

They can slip into ballet slides, ballet, they can slip into ballet flats afterwards.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a cute okay. Thank you for putting that to rest.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think we've talked about people are asking too much from their weddings. I don't even think I should have to buy a flight to go to some anyone's wedding, regardless of who you are. Like, why am I losing money to see you marrying some schlub I probably don't even like? Like to see you marrying some man I don't even like stand behind. Like what? And then it's also on top of that, it's like, oh, also you owe us money for coming. What?

SPEAKER_00:

I'm getting you a gift now because you're choosing to get a gift, but like why am I buying your house?

SPEAKER_03:

No, it truly, I'm I'm paying for you to go to Thailand. Bitch, I want to go to Thailand. I've never been to Thailand and now I'm paying for again you and the schlub to go to Thailand for three weeks. No.

SPEAKER_00:

Can we come?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And also, like, now I have to fly into some like Omaha, Nebraska for a weekend to watch two people that I haven't talked to in seven years get married. I don't I'm like, I'm not doing bachelor bachelorette trips. I haven't been invited to like a no, I'm sorry. I just don't do that. That's just not who I am. Um, luckily I haven't gotten invited to one yet. But like that's another thing. I feel horrible when people lose money on me. Like, what do you mean? I'm like, wait, y'all, let's do a trip in my honor, and I'm gonna make us all wear like horrible matching sets, and also it's uh$800 for the flight to Scottsdale, and then we're actually gonna split the costs of the Airbnb, which we didn't really like run through uh with you before, so I'm just gonna, you're just gonna get like an$800 Venmo request in a little bit, and also like I feel bad for making the bride pay for something, so let's just like let's all cover all of her drinks the entire weekend. Also, you need seven different outfits, seven different outfits, seven different looks. Um, yes, tonight is blue night.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you have any friends that you care enough about that you would be willing to post like a QR code of their bachelorette party Venmo to buy the bride a drink? No. What would you do if someone you cared about was trying to pressure you into posting?

SPEAKER_03:

You would say I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_01:

What if there was like a- I was just like I'll Venmo you.

SPEAKER_03:

I'll buy you a drink. What do you want?

SPEAKER_01:

Like the maid of honor like came up to you and was like, everyone needs to post the link.

SPEAKER_03:

Aww, everyone except for me should do that. That's cute. No, I think like again, just like asking other people for money to be like, I wanna get her a tick, I wanna get her a Red Bull, a vodka Red Bull. Get get our girl a vodka Red Bull. No. You get her a vodka. I don't know her. Why would I pay for why would I ask my followers to send money to get this girl I went to high school with drunker than she needs to be in Nashville on one of those like bike Yeah, where would your bachelor I also said bachelorette party? I like I can't even fucking fathom or imagine like okay, your bridal party or whatever the fuck that would look like. Um your queer ass getting married, okay. Non-traditional, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Where would your non-traditional bachelor party be?

SPEAKER_03:

My non-traditional bachelor party would be abroad. And I also I'm going I'm not gonna get married until I can comp out that. Because I don't, again, like if you're flying to get watch me get married, I feel horrible enough. Like, I fine, I'll get a place in Thailand and you can sleep for three nights. Like when everyone like has like super fucking nice weddings, but then it's like again, like you have to like pay them back for like a gift, or it's like you can keep your chicken in a dinner roll. Like, I don't want to give you$400. I don't want to buy you an espresso machine. Like again, I'm like, I barely wanted to fly to Tulsa, Oklahoma for this wedding. Now I'm like 2k in the red. I love it though. I'm gonna get married soon, so but yes, I'm seeing someone.

SPEAKER_01:

What are some predictions that you have for what your life will look like in 2026?

unknown:

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03:

So fucking rich, so fucking famous, married. Kids, gorgeous house, timeshare in Mikano's, yacht, three little boys, all mine, biological, and yeah, I think that's it. I don't know, just like a chill year. No, God willing, I fucking book something so I can quit the podcast. Kidding. Um, 2026, no podcast. Um, a lot of free time because I stopped doing the podcast. Um, yeah, I guess that's it.

SPEAKER_01:

What would you say to people that think that you're gonna quit the podcast?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, okay. On my note, I have I'm just here for fun. I'm just doing this for fun. When people ask me about the podcast, I'm also like aware enough. Like, you know, this people it's like, oh, it's going really well. It's going, it's have I made a scent from this podcast? No. Do I care? No. Do I genuinely enjoy do I dent with it? Do I genuinely enjoy there's no way? Do I genuinely enjoy doing it? No, I'm kidding. I love it. I love it, and I will continue to do it for those thousand people that listen to it. If it's just you thousand, who gives a fuck? Let's get like close as hell and weirdly intimate. Do I need to make money from this? No.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, you went rock climbing.

unknown:

Yeah, what was up with that?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, I just wanted to be performative. Were you good at it? Yeah. Obviously. I mean, like, I'm not bad at rock climbing, but also like I'm 6'4, so it's like, no, but it is, I have like a very unfair advantage. So it's like, oh, cool, you can reach the neck like it's just it's not impressive that I'm like semi-decent at rock climbing. This is how I honestly feel about running sometimes, too, where I'm like in uh workout class, I'm like, oh, I'm running faster than the guy who's like 5'6 next to me. And I'm like, I fucking better be. My legs are like double the length of theirs. Like, that's it would be embarrassing if we were running this. Like, I should I have an advantage and I need to take advantage of the advantage, but also I recognize my privilege.

SPEAKER_00:

So rock climbing's fine, but you know where I draw the line? Crack climbing. Like, why are you short?

SPEAKER_03:

What do you mean, crack climbing?

SPEAKER_01:

It took a really long time to say climbing. It just sounded like crack.

SPEAKER_03:

I can get behind rock climbing. I can't get behind crack cocaine. Like, genuinely, like that's something that has been like pissing me off. I don't stand for it. Climb scale that fucking mountain, baby, but say we're from the pocket.

SPEAKER_01:

I know what you mean. Is it just like a crack, like a crevice in the wall that you're doing?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, like why are you going up to the fifth floor of the parking garage via cracks?

SPEAKER_03:

What?

SPEAKER_00:

Have you seen this?

SPEAKER_03:

I can't with this crack. Um no, I haven't seen crack climbing. I'm too busy getting cracks and climbing.

SPEAKER_00:

We know.

SPEAKER_03:

So I have been writing more. I have been loving writing, which is so fun and exciting, and it's also something that I've been keeping very much to myself. But I think like everyone in LA is like, yeah, I'm an I'm an I'm an actor, writer, producer, model, horseback writer, crack climber. Yeah, that's just what I like to do. That's what I've always liked to do. I just wear a lot of hats. But I have been loving writing, and I did just finish for my mini-series um that I will be filming in December. So look out for that. It's gonna be finging insane.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, be able to watch that.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, you will be able to watch on multiple platforms. Um, it will live on YouTube. HBO Max. HBO Max, who um we're still waiting to hear back from a few people. We're waiting to hear back from HBO Max, Amazon Prime, Amazon Video, Amazon. Kidding, obviously, it'll just probably on YouTube. But maybe film festivals. I don't know. But then also I feel like like guy who makes some shit. It's like, yeah, it could be in a festival.

SPEAKER_00:

Like every like can and then every probably gonna get a 20-minute standing ovation at Can.

SPEAKER_03:

So, but like every like student, like really shitty student film that I've ever been set in my life. It's like, yeah, well, we're thinking about sending it to film festivals. I'm like, that means like nothing. He's like, we're thinking about submitting something that you like has an open submission. So yeah, uh, my mini-series, it might be in a festival. Can't say too much right now, um, but we will be submitting it. Which again means literally fucking anything. But we have been laughing because every single time I write write a new script's insane of Britain too. Um, I write the lead name just like as Brett.

SPEAKER_00:

And then like all the other characters, it'll be like Kat, Paige, like his close friends.

SPEAKER_03:

It will just like all be like I will pull from people in my life, and I will just like use their like exact name to write the character, and then like I will there's one person who I just changed the first letter of their first name, um, which has now been completely changed. But I like the names are so fucking bad. And there was one of the guys' names is Sebastian Willow, which his last name is never even like really mentioned, but like it's just like the names are so bad.

SPEAKER_01:

And before it was Brett Watson, and then the other script it was Brett Smith, his close friend Tristan Watson, by the way, and then Smith, the most popular last name ever.

SPEAKER_03:

Um it's cool. Yeah, the writing process is really cool. So yeah, I am a writer, producer, actor, singer, songwriter, model, horseback writer, dancer, crack climber, um, poet, and caricature artists on the weekend, and I'm thinking about applying at Take a Chef. So, yeah, lots of big things coming. Um, gonna scam the hell out of people for more than 2K. So, yeah. Um, but yeah, so the things are coming out soon, and hopefully you enjoy them because I've put a lot of time and energy into it, and so have my beautiful girls, and yeah, we're excited for you guys to meet our little babies. I honestly like I never post like my empties, you know, but like I actually like use a lot of products, and I probably should just do a video. But like, what do you mean? Okay, so I love the the Roche Passet. How do you even say that? Also, like that's why I'm never posting on my story.

SPEAKER_01:

You got that eye mask that you just started using that you love.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, the red light therapy.

SPEAKER_01:

No, the thing that you sleep with.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah, I also have that, and then the red light therapy thing. These are all just like poosh. I don't know how I became a camp poosh girl, but like every single time, like that's where like I get my like big ticket items, and I feel so fing grateful because it's like I wouldn't be spending my own money on this stuff because it's very overpriced, and I don't need it, but I'm like, yeah, I will throw on a red light therapy mask every single night because I have it.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Same with new face. If my I genuinely I've been using this new face things, and it's for lips, lines, and eyes. Obviously, it has not even done a dent on my dark eye circles because I don't even know what part of like the eyes it's supposed to help. But I have been doing it on my upper lip. So my upper lip looks like plumper.

SPEAKER_01:

You also got those really good pillows that you love. Oh, yeah, what are those called?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god, Brad. Has these pillows in the world?

SPEAKER_03:

I need to like use those. Yeah, they're awesome. I have like had the same temperature pillow since I was like 11 years old.

SPEAKER_01:

From like coles, probably.

SPEAKER_03:

I think that was like literally like a stocking stuffer too. Yeah, yeah, obviously. Why? It's crazy that I have like the same pillow that I had from my childhood house, came with me to college, moved out to New Where the fuck do I live? Moved out to LA with me, got New York on my mind. Um, oh, something that is whatever. I've had my pillow for fucking years. It's fucking gross, and I need to switch over to the new ones that I was sent, and I'm eternally grateful for. Thank you. God bless. I saw someone make a video about this about just like how people in LA are like, LA's fucking toxic. LA's like no that people. First of all, fucking go. Like, I'm I'm so I hate the LA hate. If you don't like it here, you can leave. Also, just like I feel like everyone is like in LA is like, wait, why do I low key want to like move to New York? But it's always in like a just wanting a reaction of being like, no, don't move to New York. And it's just like, go. Like, I don't then just go. Like, you love New York so much, go. Which isn't obviously about y'all because you just moved your until operated your lives. I'm like, okay, but to LA to work for me. But like, even with like New York, like people who live in New York, it's like it's fucking horrible. It's like, okay, but like I love it here. So like I just like when people shit on the place they live, go. Also be people who don't. I'm not from LA. I completely recognize I'm a transplant. But it's like people who willingly chose to come to LA. Like, why are you like the people here suck? Okay, then hang out with different people. Like, there are good people here. Like, I I don't if you live in a city, like you can only bitch about it so much before it's like then leave. Then leave and shut up. Stop complaining.

SPEAKER_00:

I wonder if that's exclusive to LA. Cause I don't think anybody in New York I ever heard say, like, I hate New York. It's like, okay, well, you're just like, I was gonna say that too.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, I've never met like living here is so weird because when we moved, so many people were like, Oh, you've made a terrible mistake. Like people that live here. Like, oh great. Even we had gone out to eat, remember that? And that girl started talking to us, and we're like, we just moved here. Terrible mistake.

SPEAKER_03:

Which I'm like again, it's like people who are actively like actively live here, and they're like, No. Like, why are you living here then? Again, I'm a transplant, but it's like people who have lived in LA their entire lives, and then these people come in from out of town and they're like, ew, it's gross here. Why are people mean? Why is it expected? What'd you expect moving to Los Angeles? Did you think like it's gonna be like fucking Wonka's?

SPEAKER_00:

It's so funny though, because I think before you move anywhere, I don't know if you experienced this with LA, but before we moved to New York, everybody, when I would tell them, they're like, Oh, it's dangerous there and it's really dirty. And I'm like, oh, like when did you visit? Oh, I I've never been, but I've seen the movies. I'm like, yeah, you watched Home Alone 2, where this child is running through Central Park at night alone. I'm sure that was worrisome for you.

SPEAKER_03:

No, there's like some bad stuff that happens there. It's like like what? And it's like just like violence.

SPEAKER_01:

I saw a TikTok too that it was like living in a city, people talk about how dangerous it is, as if like in Iowa, you're not gonna get like hit by a drunk driver going 75 miles per hour.

SPEAKER_03:

And no one would find your body for like three hours.

SPEAKER_01:

Like everywhere is dangerous, right?

SPEAKER_03:

And again, they like it's like, what do you mean dangerous? And they're like, just a lot of violence. My grandma would always, when my brother with New York would be like, You still living in New York? And he's like, Yeah, she's like, a lot of violence. And he's like, What? Like, the subways too, it's just it's scary. And he's like, What are you? I don't know. It's just the streets, man. It's you gotta watch out. Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

And they're always complaining that like public transportation's just not safe. I'm like, yeah, if I hopped on a bus in Iowa, I probably also wouldn't be safe. Like, sorry, sorry, not to hate on the Dart bus in Iowa.

SPEAKER_03:

No shade towards the Dart bus, like, genuinely, like, you know, my heart. Like the Cam bus raised me, but like pay my tuition. The metro is different.

SPEAKER_00:

The Cam bus was so funny. So the CAM bus was our college busing system, and it was like students our age driving it, which, like, yeah, obviously. But for some reason, that's so funny to me. Because it was like a 411 girl hopped up on the campus, like with like a cushion under her to like raise her up.

SPEAKER_03:

It's also just like something I thought for so long is like if you drive a semi-truck, a bus, school bus, like you are a trained professional. Like, you like will never get in an accident because like you know exactly what you're doing. Then you like get a little older and it's like, holy shit, this person is driving the school bus full of kids. This 411 communications major who has like a DUI is like whipping me around campus. Like, what? It reminds me, I was an international and it's icy out, yeah. And it's like 40 below. I was an intern for Best Buddies, obviously unpaid. Um, like the like everything is unpaid. Um, and I had to go on a charter bus with I think it was 40 kids and their buddies, and I was 17, and I obviously was in charge of everyone. And there was a bus driver, which this is kind of when I was like, oh wait, like bus drivers like are just humans too, like as if I'm like got them off their pedestal. But he the man was falling asleep at the wheel and he was driving a charter bus, and it was a type of thing we would literally be like veering into traffic, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then he'd be like, hmm. And so, like, then I'm like calling like the person in charge of me, and I was like, hey, like, I like the driver keeps like falling asleep at the wheel, like, what do I do? And she's like, um, I guess just like keep talking to him. Eight-hour bus ride, sure. I'm 17 years old. This is like an 84-year-old man. I was like, Hey, do you wanna like we can totally like pull over, get you a coffee? He's like, Oh, I'm okay, I got a coffee up here. Well, then let's fucking drink it. Um, and so yeah, then the entire time he kind of was like falling asleep, and so then I had to talk about him like reconstructing his uh kitchen and his one bedroom apart. I don't know. And then he was like, Yeah, it's nice. You gotta get it. I'm gonna stay in Indianapolis for a couple of days. I'm like, I but I have to do this because I have 80 people's lives. Um, but yeah, that's bus drivers really can just be anyone.

SPEAKER_00:

They really think about it. My bus driver from middle school, um, and I thought nothing of this like during when this is happening, but my bus driver from middle school, um, one time his punishment made us all keep our bus windows up and there was no air on the bus, and it was 102 degrees out. He's like, You guys have been talking too much, so you can't put your window down. And then he also told me one time, he's like, I'm getting my pacemaker put in tomorrow. Tomorrow?

SPEAKER_03:

He's like, Yeah, well I'll pick you at the end of the house. So I might be a little late. Um, y'all just like hang out, I'll figure it out. What do you mean my bus driver is punishing me? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

What do you mean you can't talk on the bus? Right. But I can't. You guys are fucking.

SPEAKER_03:

It reminds me of like, you know, your mom when like she just like has a headache, and actually, but it's like your bus driver, it's like, you can't talk on the way home from school. Like I'm trying to focus. Yeah. And it's like they're like texting as they're they're smoking a cigarette like inside of the bus. Like, I need silence.

SPEAKER_00:

Remember one bus driver, her name was Janelle. She was my friend's bus driver, and she wore heels. I'm upset.

SPEAKER_01:

That feeling of riding your friend's bus home, and it's like, whoa, things are different around here.

SPEAKER_03:

It's like a whole different like population.

SPEAKER_01:

The seats are a little different, the smell is different, you've got a newer version of the bus. New people to talk to.

SPEAKER_03:

I remember getting picked up from the bus at 6 30 a.m. and middle school. School didn't start till like 7 30, which also like, why the fuck is school starting so early? Anyway, I had to like stand out in the Iowa winters, which like is truly like negative 15 degrees sometimes, like by myself at 6 30 in the morning, it's pitch black. What? But then then your grandma's like, but New York is dangerous. New York City, careful with the subways, careful. I'm like, I'm like begging to be kidnapped at any given moment.

SPEAKER_01:

And then there would be kids that would like sit in their parents' car with the heat on until the bus got.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, your mom actually fucking loves you. I always remember it. I would pretend to like sleep in and miss the bus. And my mom was like, she had no choice. She's like, oh what, you're not gonna take me to school? Fine, I won't go. Um, and then she like would begrudgingly take me, but then I'd be like, Well, like, since already slept in, can I miss like the first two periods? So I gotta roll in at like 9 30 as opposed to 6 30. Y'all, thank you for sticking next to us and being by our side, even when we just do little fun, little mini episodes. It's gonna be the same length as all the other things. It's literally gonna be like somehow longer. Um, but yeah, like don't be mad at us. But we will be back with a regular call, regular paid programming next week. I'll be back from New York and just we will just be chat chatting about everything. I really am like pee is about to trickle down my legs, so I have to wrap this fucking up real quick. I love you guys so much. Thanks for supporting me always. Um, again, just because I'm more vocal on my stories doesn't mean I am mentally ill. Stop making people pay money to come to your wedding.

SPEAKER_01:

Any other stop falling.

SPEAKER_03:

Stop falling, get up. If you're gonna fall, black out. Uh, I love you guys so much.