Dialing In with Brett

24. should mrs. claus be worried about me?? ft. a mall elf

• Brett Hamilton Productions • Season 1 • Episode 24

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This week on Dialing In with Brett, Brett recaps filming his mini-series, addresses the lola blanket situation, and dials in a mall elf.

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SPEAKER_00:

Hi, this is Brad. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I there's no way. Hello. What a dick. Hi you guys. Welcome back to dialing in with Brett. Thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for your patience. Um, that is truly, I cannot appreciate your patience enough. We are currently in West Des Moines, Iowa, where I was born and raised. Um my address is 5. Um, but I'm in my childhood bed. Obviously, there is the shrine of me above of my two senior photos, and then also kind of the lighting, the string lighting around. It's a very bizarre setup now that I'm thinking about it. Also, just like senior photos in general are weird as fuck, and I don't think we knew that at the time. But now that I have two of them hanging above the bed that I sleep, which also another thing with senior photos. Why the fuck was I like I played tennis in high school? Yeah, I don't need to have like lifetime photos of me playing tennis and me with my dog Ryo, um, who is no longer here with us. Um, but no, she passed. But luckily again, I have like a 20 by 40 size still of her and I above my bed. I don't even like I like don't know where I want to take this episode. I've gone through hell and motherfucking back, and the last two weeks I've had high highs, low lows. I finished my mini-series, which was so incredible. I've never been more proud of myself. I've actually never been proud of myself in general. So that was crazy having to process that. People are weird as fuck. Bitches be fake. Um, yeah, so I've been good.

SPEAKER_03:

Um it truly was like just not in the cards to film the podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Like I want you guys to know, did I make a very executive decision to just not do it? Yeah. Could we have probably done it still? Honestly, probably, yeah. But I could not. I could not talk, I could not think, I could not speak. Um, so now shit's funny again, and all it took was me bread. All it took was me. Coming home is what I was gonna say. Coming home to my childhood bed. Um, with my girls sitting on the I feel horrible that you guys are on the floor, but I really there's no other place to this is also like the most people I've ever had in my childhood bedroom.

SPEAKER_03:

You on your k California King. You're like, there's nowhere else for you guys to go.

SPEAKER_00:

California King is I'm like, I genuinely think this is like a twin XL.

SPEAKER_02:

There's no way.

SPEAKER_00:

I also want to show you guys, I don't know if you can see the comforter. This is like the comforter my mom got me like after I graduated, and like I was like, this is the most like after I came out, I was like, this is the most bisexual shit I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_02:

That comforter is also so like mom converting your room into a semi-guest room after you've gone to college, but then also the shrine of me.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm like, this can never be a guest room because like my body is printed on the walls. Wait, can I say something? Sure.

SPEAKER_03:

The mini-series was so good.

unknown:

It really was.

SPEAKER_03:

Like, you just glazed past that too quickly. I know we can go back and talk about it. It was four days of blood, sweat, and tears, literally. Genuinely. Brett bled from every appendage that he It was really crazy.

SPEAKER_00:

I also got a massage yesterday, which honestly changed my life. And I think it like made me realize I'm like, this is the most tense I've ever been. And I was like, while he was massaging me, I was like thinking of every single like thing I did. I was like, oh, that makes sense why like my shoulder hurts. Yeah, yeah. I also shattered a real glass bottle with my hands, which we got like prop bottles, but then the like co-director was like, just fucking do a real one. I was like, um and I like wasn't really scared, but then moments before I was like, moments. We keep saying moments because on set, like right before you're about to start filming, you'll like the crew will be like, moments. Um, so we've been really annoying about that. But um, I was like, right before I was about to film, I was like, what if this like a piece of glass get its gets in my eye? And then I'm just like, I don't have eyesight, just because I was like, I wanted a good shot for my mini-series. Um, but luckily it just completely caught up my hand and bled all. But I didn't actually hurt myself that bad. And then I also kicked over a wine bottle that shattered and cut up my foot pretty bad.

SPEAKER_03:

And then in that same motion of him kicking the wine bottle, he strips down to nothing and jumps butt ass naked into his pool with dives with a tattoo that I had the pleasure of putting on his ass and then taking it off and then putting a new one back on.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you see my ass. If you want to see my ass, you have three opportunities to see it in my mini-series, which I'm not someone who's just like, let me take off my drawers. Like, I really am like honestly not that comfortable with my body, but I'm also like, who gives a fuck? And also I think it's adds to the character's chaos and insanity and just like weirdness that he does like keep taking his pants off, and then I do obviously have a mermaid tattoo on my ass that we got um to put on for this miniseries that Holly had to again put on and then also like scrub off because it wasn't coming off and it looked kind of bad, so we had to put a fresh one on. Anyways, if you guys like my ass, holy shit, you're gonna love the miniseries.

SPEAKER_02:

It was so funny too because Brett's character like jumps into the pool, and the day before we just kept saying we're like, How funny would it be if he was like did a gainer into the pool or we had like a diving board that's like the Olympic level and he like climbs up it?

SPEAKER_00:

We wanted to hire a stunt double to do like a triple gainer off of my roof, butt ass naked. Um, but yeah, the mini-series was so good, and I can't believe it happened, and I'm so proud of us. Holly and Bailey, obviously, like nothing would have been possible without them, and I actually that's all I can say right now, or else I'll start sobbing.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, where can they watch it? Streaming now on Netflix.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's like um it's on my Instagram story. Well, I it's on real shorts. Oh my god, if it's on real shorts, just know that the project flops so fucking bad, and I'm very embarrassed. Um candy jar. God willing, it gets picked up by a fucking network and then we remake it. So hopefully you won't be able to see it online. But if you do see it online again, just know I'm pissed. Kidding. It might just be available on YouTube after a while, but we're gonna try to sell it first. So fingers crossed. And if you guys are in the market to buy, boy, do I have a mini series for you that you or daddy does? Yeah, if you or your papa.

SPEAKER_02:

Surely one of you listeners has like a family member that works at Paramount or something.

SPEAKER_00:

Truly, like some one of you has to have daddy's money. And again, like if you listen to this podcast, you care enough, because again, there's only an amount of listeners, use use your daddy's credit card. This is like the time where I say pull out your daddy's Amex, because we need it right now. If you care about me, if you care about my general well-being, you care about this podcast, grab your dad's wallet and send us a picture of the back and front. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

And the billing zip code.

SPEAKER_00:

And yeah, obviously billing zip code as well.

SPEAKER_03:

It was actually really sweet how many people cared that you didn't do two episodes.

SPEAKER_00:

I know, which is sweet. And I honestly felt bad. Because I obviously made the executive session very easy. I'm like, we're not filming, I don't care. And then I like you guys actually. Oh shit. People listen to this. Yeah, I really can't believe that people actually listen to this. It doesn't feel like a not because of the limited amount of views, but just like I can't believe like anyone like perceives me in this light.

SPEAKER_02:

It was so sweet people like responding to the story, like this just ruined my week. I was like, wait, really?

SPEAKER_00:

Awwww, you guys like it. It's like I literally want to die. I'm like, you guys care about me. Let's just see.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh well, today's Christmas.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah, for y'all, not for us. Jesus doesn't feel like it. Merry Christmas, you guys. Thank you so much for listening. This sounds like I'm gonna end the episode. This is just a midway. Thank you for listening. I hope you got all of the presents and it that you wanted. And if you did, um, and you're gonna make a TikTok, just make sure you reiterate how grateful you are for your parents and how hardworking your parents are. And that's why you're so excited that you got that six-piece luggage set and also the nicest laptop and also a desktop and the new iPhone, and also as well a a trip across the country. Um, no, I really do love those like 16-year-old girls who get like$30,000 worth of presents. Like, but I just want to start off and say I'm so grateful for my dad for how hardworking he is and how much he loves.

SPEAKER_02:

They always also are like, I only have five minutes to record this because we have to leave for the airport for Tahiti.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I saw a girl today that got a jet ski. What? I didn't even know that was like an option that would be a good ass for. I know, but I love those videos.

SPEAKER_00:

Like jet skis. Fuck, I love jet skis though. God, what do we want?

SPEAKER_02:

What are you guys doing for Christmas?

SPEAKER_00:

Great question, Bailey.

SPEAKER_02:

Um I'm like, do you guys want to hang out?

SPEAKER_00:

No, like genuinely. I think we're just like making I think my mom's just making lasagna. We're a bitch. I'm not doing anything, I'm not lifting a finger. Kidding well, if I have to. Um, I think we're just like hanging out and eating lasagna.

unknown:

That sounds awesome. Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

I just like feel like Christmas, like holidays aren't real anymore, which I think is just like because of like crippling tidy. I'm kidding. Um, but I feel like I haven't like gotten into the Christmas spirit. I really wanted to get a tree. I have like tall ceilings in my living room, and God knows if I'll ever have tall ceilings again. And I really why is my dad at my neighbor's house? Who lives there? It's so weird coming home. I'm like, I don't know any of my neighbors. They all have like little kids. Okay, I don't care. I'm grown, bitch. I used to run this town. You don't know who I am? Well, download TikTok. Watch a reel. I don't know what to fucking tell you. Um, what was I even going on about?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, you you you might never have tall scenes again or something like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Holly, like, why are you like actually mean? Like, I hate your attitude. Um, but I really wanted to get a Christmas tree, but then I cannot reiterate enough how much shit Holly and Bailey had to move because we filmed every single scene of the miniseries in my house, and we used every single room.

SPEAKER_02:

Not one room went untouched. It was insane. Like, what do you mean we're suddenly in this like microscopic closet? I don't think we need to film here.

SPEAKER_03:

There was an there's an area like in the way back of Brett's, like behind where the pool heater is that just has like shit that never gets touched. Like a tarp that literally is disintegrated. Yeah, it's disintegrated. Like the original tarp. Yeah, it just disintegrated like pretty much into a ton of little microplastics. And of course, we had to film back there.

SPEAKER_02:

I've never had a visual of microplastics, but that's exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I know that genuinely is. I'm like, oh, this is a shit that we're worried about.

SPEAKER_02:

And meanwhile, so we're moving this while the crew is like getting their lighting set up. So there's already limited space alongside the pool. So Holly and I are literally like hanging into the pool, like holding on to like the side of the garage with the tarp, like, excuse me. And people are like, points, points, like pushing me out of the way.

SPEAKER_00:

We need to talk about Holly in the pool. So should I give like a brief description of what the Should I read off what the one sheet description is? How long is that?

SPEAKER_02:

It's literally like a sentence. Oh maybe. Let me pull it up. Originally the project was called Celebrity Airbnb, but due to copyright, we did change it to Celebrity Airbnb.

SPEAKER_00:

Which is so like pear pod coded, like eye curly, like that shit. Who cares? It's funny. Okay, go ahead, Bailey.

SPEAKER_02:

So Celebrity Airbnb C is a campy satirical horror series that follows Sebastian, played by Brett, a washed up social media influencer desperate to reclaim his fame after a year in the shadow of a viral cancellation. When he's offered a chance to partner with Airbnb to host a luxury retreat for a random group of guests, he jumps at the opportunity to rehabilitate his image.

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh, I just got chills.

SPEAKER_00:

And then shit gets crazy. Um, but there's one part where Sebastian, yours truly, Sebastian Willow. Sebastian Willow is leading a sound bath in his um in his pool, and on this staycation celebrity Airbnb staycation, there are two old people that he does not want at the getaway and is like doesn't want them in the video because it's gonna ruin the video, whatever. And so he's trying to get the old woman out of the shot so he can get a good shot of the soundbath. And so we had to have the old woman like on a swan floaty keep like coming into the shot, and then I, Sebastian, would aggressively push her away, and Holly was in the pool, had to hide behind like the swan tail and would push her in. And then again, I am like using all of my force because I hate this character, and I like she is ruining the entire trip, even though she's just like a sweet old lady, and I'm like pushing with all of my might. Holly's like and we have so many videos of it. So we obviously will include a video and the photo dog.

SPEAKER_02:

It was genuinely the most insane thing to watch. So Holly approaches me and she goes, Hey, so the DPU is like, we need somebody to be able to like push the pillow back into the scene. And Holly like turns to me. I was like, There's no fucking way. And so I owe Holly my life because she's like, I'll do it, I'll suit up and get in.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I was not swimsuit ready, first of all.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, but so I put like I wish I would have gotten some heads up.

SPEAKER_03:

No, literally, and everyone else that's in it, like, is just like objectively like jacked.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know why I hired the like hottest cast.

SPEAKER_03:

No, literally like the hottest, like lowest body fat people in LA.

SPEAKER_00:

But somehow got the the people with the least BMI or the lowest BMI.

SPEAKER_03:

So I'm getting truly like waterboarded, and this scene just lasts for like 18 minutes. I'm not kidding. And I'm like, my body's gonna, I'm not that good of a swimmer to begin with. So I'm like, my body's gonna just give out. And I would see Brett coming around the corner, like about to push us, and I'm like, no, please.

SPEAKER_00:

One more push. Well, also, the older lady, she was so sweet. So she's like genuinely, I'm not kidding, 40 pounds, was barely holding on to the swan, and I again was pushing her with every ounce of my being. Yeah, so that was like every fiber of and she turns the holly at one point and is like, oh, you're getting red.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, I know. And she kept like, so the swan has like a little tail that mind you, this swan is meant to be blown up with like an industrial like blower or blower's crazy. So Brett.

SPEAKER_00:

Um insane, stray.

SPEAKER_03:

But but um, yeah, blown up pretty much entirely by me, so not very. And so the tail was like not very inflated, and she kept leaning back on it, and I would kind of like support her because I I'm like, you're gonna fall back into the pool, but then I think she thought that the tail was sturdy due to me continuously supporting.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm the one keeping you up. It was so insane. This is my first time directing, which I honestly like loved it so much. It was very obviously I was directing my friends for the most part, which was very like easy to direct, and my friends were are so fucking talented, but like that also was kind of hard because it's like telling my friends, like, uh, what if we try it like this? Which none of them took anything personally, which I'm so glad because I'm like, it's not personal, it's just I mean, you don't how are you supposed to know? I'm like, you don't know how I want to anyway.

SPEAKER_02:

It was so interesting though, because there were like 20 plus people in Brett's house, and then it's like you're already dealing with that, and then it's like, wait, the fire marshal's here, we have to go talk to him. So there was always just like people in the house that's like, wait, who are you?

SPEAKER_00:

Like And then there was like a SAG representative that like showed up and like it was right after or right when we were about to like smash the real wine bottle and shatter my hand, and like we were just like, Oh, we can't like do this right now, but then I was like, Can we? And then it was just like weird and uh like a strange vibe. I've also like in the past two weeks, I've had to confront more people than I have my entire life, and I hate confrontation, but god damn it, did I have to stand up for myself a ton this past two weeks? That shit's exhausting, and I never want to have to have a conversation ever again.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So that's the last conversation I'm having with y'all. Signing off.

SPEAKER_03:

I also wanted to say that they like don't make it easy to make shit in California, but that feels like weirdly Republican to say.

SPEAKER_00:

But no, it really is like something that we've never done, and that's why I'm so proud of all of us, is because we like truly were thrown into the unknown, and again, not to sound MAGA, but they really don't make shit easy to make anymore, and it's just like, oh my god, like nothing's happening. Like, I think it's just like such a thing where it's like make your own stuff, then write your own script, direct your own script. It's like, y'all make it fucking hard, inexpensive. Like, it's really not cheap or easy.

SPEAKER_02:

And it's like, oh, for an additional$250, you have to pay. Someone's gonna go around and leave your neighbors little slips getting that you're filming.

SPEAKER_00:

It literally was just like not accessible at all. Yeah, everything, every single thing is like like I I guess you could do without this$800 thing, but like I would just do it just I'm sure you would.

SPEAKER_02:

And this is after suddenly we're instacarting a fire extinguisher. Yeah. And we ended up with like three first aid kits, which that came in handy.

SPEAKER_00:

I know I was like so mad about that, and then like I was the only one who like I'm like, I need all of the band-aids.

SPEAKER_02:

It was so funny too, because I'm gonna bring up the Lola Blanket um incident, not to be dramatic, but everyone was putting in a lot of hours this week. So I think between Monday to Monday, it was like 110 hours. So long days, and honestly, everybody like spirits were high, morale was high, everyone was doing wonderful. A word that I realized I hate on set is being told to fly things in. Just tell me to bring it. Like, I'll bring it, but like, can we fly this at no? I'll walk it in. Like, I'll bring it in.

SPEAKER_00:

About me, by the way.

SPEAKER_02:

Um no, it was like everybody, but so Brett, um, as aforementioned, there was a scene behind the garage, and Brett had asked us to fly in towels and the Lola blankets.

SPEAKER_00:

Of course, as we're there also was water involved, by the way.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, so bring those out. Um, I'm not allowed on set at that point because they are shooting. So I set them on the side of the garage. Okay, great. Whatever. I go back inside um next morning. Brett goes. Actually, this is between Hollywood. Brett's all that holds.

SPEAKER_03:

Brett and I are moving a very health, uh, a very heavy item around. Healthy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

A very healthy item, my story.

SPEAKER_03:

And he looks me in the eye and goes, You didn't leave the Lola blankets out here overnight in the leaves, did you? And I was too stunned to speak.

SPEAKER_00:

She was like immediately told me that it pissed her off, which honestly, fair. It was a shady comment, which honestly, we had it actually, so I we had a really productive conversation from it. Like the girls are perfect, genuinely. They have like zero flaws. And once every three weeks there's just something that I'm like, okay, I wish that like wouldn't have happened like that. And I don't know how to say it without like kind of just sounding shady as fuck. And so I told them I was like, I'm so sorry, but like once every three weeks there's gonna be a little something, and like I will say it like semi-pass regressively.

SPEAKER_02:

I would rather you just be aggressive or just say like how how would you say that?

SPEAKER_00:

Like okay, so the Lola blankets, for example, maybe like well, also this is this is why now that we brought the Lola blankets, I was just like under like you guys were leaving that night, and I was just like, Oh, I assume maybe they did just like a quick check of everything outside before they left. And then my friend Lena was spending the night, and she was like, Where are the Lola blankets? And I'm like, I don't know. And then she like looked around more, she's like, I can't find them, and I was like, Okay, and then they were on the ground outside, which obviously I have never paid for a Lola blanket by myself because they're randomly like three thousand dollars. Um, but I am the luckiest boy alive, and I'm on Poosh's Poosh's mailer, and so I randomly have three of them.

SPEAKER_02:

Um and Lola, if you're listening to this, can you send us one for our troubles? No, literally.

SPEAKER_00:

No, they don't deserve it because they don't take good care of them. That's not true. So you should send me a fourth one.

SPEAKER_02:

Lola.

SPEAKER_00:

Also, something so funny. Um, one of my friends, Kat, was like asking me. She was at my house, and she like felt my Lola blanket, and she's like, Wait, do you wash these? And I was like, Yeah, and it's crazy because it's like they still like feel good after you wash them. Later that day, I like felt the Lola blanket she was using that I washed like crispy, like crispy to a crunch. And so later I like text her, I was like, Oh my god, wait, like, don't wash them, they're so horrible. And she's like, um, she's like, oh my god, I literally texted my boyfriend after that and said, Do not ever wash those blankets. So if you're gonna wash them, I think you also have to get them dry clean, which is like crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

So on top of the$19 million, well let's send us a blanket and we'll give it to Brad to get it dry cleaned.

SPEAKER_00:

They are the nicest blankets I've ever had. And so if you have the privilege of getting one, I would obviously highly recommend it. But I would I unfortunately don't have a code either.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's get you a code in 2026.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I because I do like everyone deserves a Lola blanket. Again, I've never paid out of pocket for it, and I recognize my privilege to a scary degree. I'll do a giveaway.

SPEAKER_03:

Of the one that you washed. That's like crunchy.

SPEAKER_00:

Giving away the one- You know what? Fuck it. I'll do a low, like I'm not kidding. Right now, really quick, dialing in an elf. Yay, dialing in an elf who works at a mall. Mall elf. Santa adjacent.

SPEAKER_01:

Hello.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, Elfie.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my goodness. Hi.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, Elphaba. I'm so excited to hear about your experience. So, wait, so we can we say where you you work at a mall where there is a Santa, correct?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I work at a mall with a Santa in Los Angeles.

SPEAKER_00:

Is the Santa weird? Like, just straight up, I need to know. Like, what's the vibe with the Santa?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, first thing I'll say is which Santa?

SPEAKER_00:

Because the live audience just gasped. There's two Santas? I guess that makes sense. Yeah, there's multiple Santas because are there more than two?

SPEAKER_01:

These old men couldn't handle the whole the whole day.

SPEAKER_00:

Are some of the Santas like, you know how like some actors, it's like, okay, like it's not that serious. Like, I'm imagining some of these Santas in LA almost doing like a method style of acting. Do they do that? Or is it just is it very aware that it is just a random man?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you know what it's funny is at least at the mall I'm working at, we've got people that have come from out of the state that have come in to do this Santa shift, but um, they are two very different vibes, which I find very funny.

SPEAKER_00:

What are the vibes? Also crazy that y'all are flying them in.

SPEAKER_01:

I know, I know these two got flown travel Santa's crazy, but I love it. I know, right? Um, I feel like the ones that are in LA are just doing all the commercials, so these malls have to be filled by by out of state guys. Um, yeah, no, they're two very different vibes. The one I work with is there's like one like very sweet old, old man who maybe should have a hearing aid. And then and then there's um a really rowdy one who always does the loud ho ho ho, and he's kind of almost a little bit of an anarchist. And he um always, you know, makes the joke about the grandmas can sit on his lap and that they're both very fun, but very different.

SPEAKER_00:

Don't do that. Wait, have you got the pleasure to sit on any of the Santa's laps?

SPEAKER_01:

I have not sat on the lap, I've sat next to them. Um yes, I've gotten my gorgeous pictures taken. My friend told me that I'm definitely an elf that Mrs. Claus is worried about.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god, you are starting all the trouble. Problem elf.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. Well, you know what's a little funny is um they still they have the same elf velvety elf outfits that they've had for a decade or so, and they don't have a lot of um body diversity with their their their wardrobe. So my outfit really makes me look snatched as hell. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's talk about the body, the lack of body positivity in the elf community. It's fucked, and it's like, yeah, like are you a stereotypically gorgeous elf? Sure. Is that hard? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I'm like sorry. Like it's like sorry that everybody's obsessed.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, so do people like genuinely sit on the Santa's laps or like have with the new normal and everything? Have we been like, oh, that's actually kind of weird? You can sit adjacent to, or is it still just right on the lap?

SPEAKER_01:

It's very interesting. You know, I it's always it's very consensual. Okay. Let me make that extremely clear. Um, we always pose the question, it's always like the youngest one, and we say, Do you want to sit on San Jose? You want to sit next to him? Um, but it's really sweet to see the kids, like some of them, of course, they want to hop up there. Um it's very interesting though, because you know, I don't think there's anything to us as adults that is as magical as believing a hundred percent that there's a mystical man who is going to bring you presents under your tree. And I've never seen like an adult man seeing Beyonce is it doesn't even compare to like a four-year-old looking at Santa and like, holy shit, that is a real, that guy is he's he flies.

SPEAKER_00:

Real as fuck. And then you like see him smoking a cigarette like outside after like making inappropriate comments about your body, and you're like, well, I mean Okay, I get it, but also you got when you guys grow up, you'll realize he's just a male.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, exactly. That that was just kind of a guy. Um no, but they're they're ultimately they're very sweet, but it is funny to see them. Um, there's a point when they, you know, they have to switch, and we always have to say to everybody, we say, Oh, Santa's gonna go feed the reindeer, so nobody is aware that we have like multiple Santas. And then my favorite part though is when I bring them up to switch them, there's this hysterical moment that I always get caught off guard by where I bring one Santa back to the break room and get the other one, and there's the like Spider-Man pointing at each other moment. I'm just like me and like two Santas and we're just hanging.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, I get why Mrs. Claus is worried. You're over here grabbing them from break room, like girl, that's not your man.

unknown:

And you know what?

SPEAKER_01:

One of the it's sweet, we've been working for like a month and a half. It's been gotten very intense as we get closer to Christmas because um, well, it's you know, it's it's a mall and it's it's an interesting intersection of like Christmas spirit and happiness and like corporate greed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So there's like very overbooked long lines and like frustrated parents and all these um parents who are, you know, accusing us of ruining their three-year-old's Christmas just because uh, you know, we can't get them in and things like that.

SPEAKER_00:

But um You having to deal with that in an elf costume, it's like, girl, I don't know what you want.

SPEAKER_01:

No, a hundred percent. I'm like, I with all love, I'm really not paid in. Um, I hope this covers my February rent, but we'll see. Um yeah, no, but it's very, it's very interesting. It's very wild. Oh, but I was gonna say, because it's been so crazy, um, one of the Santas, he as a little sweet gift, he brought us all cookies, but then he gave a few of us um lottery tickets.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, I it's like, yeah, it was almost very sweet. Like, I think that's honestly how I feel about like mall Santas. It's like in theory, it's very sweet, but then like the lottery ticket, it's just like again, you just like woke me up and I'm like, oh yeah, you aren't Santa, you are just a random old man that I would never like talk to outside of this job.

SPEAKER_01:

100%. Yeah, it's so funny when I see them changed out of their clothes and he's like in a beanie and a muscle shirt, and I'm like, oh, so this is who you are.

SPEAKER_00:

He's like, hey, pretty lady, you got any plans after this? You're like, okay, like I actually have to go home.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

How like involved are teenagers in this? Like, I think any job where I have to like maybe deal with a teenager scares the shit out of me. And I'm sure there's like those I don't want to say dirtbag teenagers, because like as a 27-year-old man, it's like, why are you getting mad at like a 14-year-old? But like, are there any teenagers who are quote unquote too cool for school that you have to do?

SPEAKER_01:

That's so funny. Yeah, no, I was just talking to somebody about this the other day. There are the, you know, who have like the seven-year-old sibling, and mom is like dragging them in here to get the pictures. But what I notice is this thing that I wish I could, like, you know, shake out of teenagers, which is like, it's actually way cooler to be the teenage sister that's like goes in the picture, helps the seven-year-old, and just like smiles and does it rather than being the one who like stands off to the side and is like, Mom, I'm not doing this.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you look like stop?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't want to be here. This is stupid. He's fake.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm like, babe, it's like you're starting the scene right now. If you like you're drawing so much attention to yourself right now, just get in the photo, hold your little sister, you can be sweet.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. Smile and wave, and you're all good. No, it's funny. A few times I've had to just because you know, to help the mom, I'll just say, Oh, you know, your mom will really like this as a memory. Just take it, just take the picture. And when, like, when a 27-year-old uh, you know, woman with her snatched little velvet outfit says that to you, they're gonna hop in the picture and they're gonna take it, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

If a hot little piece of ass like you says you get in the uh baby, you're gonna listen to me and you're gonna listen to me. Wait, so obviously you're talking about your like snatched outfit. Can you just describe to us a little bit more what is this outfit that you're wearing? And do you have multiple outfits or is it just the one staple?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god, no. Why would I ever have multiple outfits and wearing the tape? Why would I do this? Um, it's been like a month and a half in like this red velvet tight top with like gold buttons, and then a green velvet skirt, and um the same black tights and little black ug boots. And it's so funny. They gave us uh a spray bottle with like alcohol cleaner. Um, but yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_00:

To hose down your clothes or whatever.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'm like, did anybody did anybody ever clean these? Again, like with you know, there's a lot of corporate greediness and stuff. I try to, as a minimum wage employee, uh find little moments of like where I can win in things. So you know, I'll I'll I'll sneak some, I'll just take, you know, I'll just take some extra tights. I will if I I always say like if a family is really lovely and so sweet, oh my gosh, and I got a really nice connection, of course I'll give you a little free ornament. I'm just gonna give you a free print or whatever. But then if you are rude to me, I will give you something that's broken. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00:

No, truly, it's like if you're just like normal and like sweet, it's like, yeah, I want you to succeed in life, but if you like show any form of like disgust or anger towards me, I will like personally ruin your day.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00:

And I feel no guilt about it. Since you are dealing with like a lot of humans, as we're saying, what is like the one like like takeaway good and bad from this job where it's like, oh wait, uhw. And then also one thing where it's like, oh honestly, uh-uh.

SPEAKER_01:

No, okay, well, I'll say, I'll say, uh, every every little kid wants a laboo-boo, okay. What the hell? I know. I'm like, I'm like this.

SPEAKER_00:

Like that, they're horrible.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. Um, I guess like a positive takeaway in the way of like, you know, being single in LA is I'm seeing so many families and so many different dynamics, and I'm kind of like, okay, I can find somebody. You know what I mean? I'm watching so many families. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, it but it's so interesting to watch all the different family dynamics. But honestly, I feel like the sweetest thing is um just amid the like greediness of just like it's so expensive, I can't even tell you, and like all that stuff. Um, when I get to make somebody really happy or do something outside of that uh in an interaction that makes me really happy. Like, for example, I had to turn someone away, the line was too long, I couldn't sell something to um a family, and they were getting a little frustrated and sad. And they said, Oh, Santa can't see you. But I I went down and I told the little girl, I said, Let me tell I'll tell Santa exactly what you want for Christmas. You let me know what do you want? And then I, you know, I pass it along. So at least doing a little free magic on my end. I really like those moments where I can, even though you know the system is brutal, I can still do a little bit of niceness.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, that's so sweet. I'm like, I'm in my childhood bed right now recording this. I'm like, no, like dead ass, like that's what it's all about.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, no, like getting to bed, like let me tuck you in, it's not gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00:

No, honestly, like I think that's so fair, and that's how I feel about just like I mean, LA, there's like really incredible people, but also like really horrible people. And it's like when you are around that many people, it's like honestly, like if you are a good normal person, like it makes me want you to succeed, and like I will go an act the extra mile to make sure you're happy. But it's like if you're randomly just like a dick, like I'm gonna do nothing to help you, and like yeah, just don't be a dick when you don't need to be. Do couples ever fight in front of you?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh but of course, and and yes. Well, well, just you know what you say that, and actually, I and I'm gonna say yes. Um no, it's very interesting, and uh it I mean obviously it pulls on my heartstrings because the kids are there, right? You know what I mean? But it's always very it's interesting. There are families that come in and it's just like they want they care more about the um just you know their kids having a nice experience in the pictures, but then there are also so many families that come in in these really like luxurious, glamorous outfits, and it's usually the fights are about like her hair is in her face, her da da da like we have to get this no and look this way and da-da-da, whatever. Like she's four, she's four. I'm sorry, but she's four.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I guess what is one takeaway from this job that you would like to pass on, either if someone is in direct contact with a mall elf or Santa, or just like moving forward again, you've had so much human interaction. Like, what is something you want to leave the viewers with from your experience working as a mall elf?

SPEAKER_01:

I guess I would say kind of what we just said about of just like honestly, these little elves are not being paid enough. And and they're being uh used as gorgeous little snatched pawns.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's fucked.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and it's fucked and it's crazy. No, but while the corporate bosses like hide away, um, and they should be the ones hearing a lot of like any like disgruntled things, but we deal with it. So I think just being really kind to those people, and you know what, I'll freaking say it. It is awesome when someone gives me$10. Yeah, that is cool when I get a little thing in the hand. Um, I'm like, okay, wait, why'd you just slip that in my hand? That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00:

I feel like it's like things like that where it's like, okay, yeah, it's like just like$10, but it's like, oh my god, I feel seen, I feel heard, I feel understood, I feel valued.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like, yeah, I do a backflip. I didn't know I could do that. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's great. Well, also, like, truly, first of all, thank you so much for coming on and talking to us. I adore talking to you. Also, like, truly, what you're doing is so important, and these little kids are so eternally grateful for you. And thank you for being a bright, shining smile, despite the corporate greed in your body con. While also serving ass and face, obviously.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you, Holly and Jolly Babe. And it's a pleasure. Merry Christmas, everybody.

SPEAKER_00:

Merry Christmas. Bye.

SPEAKER_01:

Bye.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow. I honestly like I that's like what I expected. Just like I feel like any job like that, it's just like you see like the greatest, sweetest, like most wholesome moments, and you're like, oh my god, I want kids. I want a family. And then you see like the worst family dynamic ever, and then you're like, wait, why am I also getting verbally abused by this like random man and I'm getting paid minimum wage and in an elf costume? Like, it's like, okay, people like actually suck. But I'm glad there is some positive of it. Like, obviously, again, like there is a lot of negatives, and it's like, why does your four-year-old daughter need to get a blowout for this elf photo?

SPEAKER_02:

Your four-year-olds at dry bar getting some blowouts.

SPEAKER_00:

But then also cut to me with kids and being like, no, you have you're not gonna wear a middle part for your to my three-year-old.

SPEAKER_02:

No, your hair has to be down.

SPEAKER_00:

Put on your Ralph Lorenz sweater and shut the fuck up. Kimberly. Hey y'all, obviously the camera somehow got overheated in the winter of Iowa in my bedroom that doesn't have heat on. So we had to take a quick break, but we're back. We are back. Um You guys you guys fucking know it. You guys motherfucking love it, and you've gone two weeks without it. So Am I in the wrong? Okay. I haven't read since the last time I read the Am I in the Wrong, so bear with me. Okay, you know it. Am I in the wrong? I 29M have been casually seeing this woman 28F for about three months, and she has three young sons, which is cool. And I love that. I've been very firm about her with boundaries when it comes to the children, but she keeps pushing them. She keeps she seems to keep pushing them, pushing her kids on you. Oh, she's fine. You're fine, actually. She has asked me to dress up as Santa for her kids for Christmas. I told her I would think about it, but it made me uncomfortable with doing it. I am a big guy. Me as fuck. To put it nicely, six foot upper, 300 to 400, depending on the month.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a big race. I know.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like look, my body fluctuates an insane amount. That is crazy. Okay. And since high school, anytime someone has done anything Christmas related, I've been asked to be Santa. Okay. It's been bothering me, so I asked Chat GBT why. And it suggested the reason I'm feeling uncomfortable with because she was trying to put me into a parental role too quickly and without my full consent. Tonight I flat out told her no. I wouldn't dress up as Santa, and she sounded sad and irritated and accused me of spoiling Christmas. I told her I was trying to avoid spoiling next year because children cling on to things like that and begin to expect it. And since we aren't together, who knows if she'll be seeing each we'll be seeing each other next year. Am I in the wrong? Good question, honestly. I think first and foremost, it's like, damn, like I was like, are they gonna watch this? No. Like, I think the thing that sucks the most, it's like, damn, I'm like three upper 300 pounds, and everyone wants me to put on a Santa outfit. Like that would get to me. It's like, why am I like the go-to Santa? I think it's more like that thing that would bother me rather than the like, no, then your kids are gonna expect it. Like, you can throw on a fucking Santa costume. Like for these kids, if you're not around next year, her next boyfriend can throw on a Santa costume and his weight could fluctuate as well. Like, I don't think it's like she's pushing her kids too strongly on you. I think it like more is like I mean, personally, it'd be more for the the weight thing for me, where it's like, again, damn, like I really am 300 pounds, and then everyone's just like, okay, well, you're gonna be Santa for every occasion. It's like, damn, that's tough. I think you can just I think you can just do it. I really think it's like not that big of an issue. I think you can pretend to be Santa for one time. Again, if you guys break up, you can cross that bridge when you get there. Like, just throw, like, I don't know why you just won't take one for the team. Also, you're dating this girl, like, seems like relatively easy for you just throw on a Santa costume and to make her kids Christmas. Like, I just don't think she's asking that much of you. Again, if it is like the weight thing, bring that up. Again, I don't know why you would ask Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the ChatGPT that's cracking me up for like emotion. It's like ChatGPT did diagnose me with with you pushing your kids on to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, I think that shit is like just talk to her about it. And again, like if it's not the weight thing, then I feel like it's like you can just fucking put on a Santa costume. Like, again, I think Chat GPT could have been like, hey, let's get to the root of this issue and like why this really bothers you. Again, I don't think it's a uh a lack of boundaries or like her taking advantage of you. I think it's just her trying to make a good Christmas for her kids and you being like, I don't want to be Santa. Also, the whole like, well, what if we break up? Like, if I was dating anyone and they pulled that card, I'm like, I don't know, what if, bitch. Like, do you want to break up with me? Then let's break up. Oh, what if I'm not here for next Christmas? Okay, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Put on your fucking Santa costume and eat six sugar cookies for my kids.

SPEAKER_03:

Would the kids really not know that it's him? I also I mean kids are dumb.

SPEAKER_00:

But I'm also like, I don't think it's really like like the fact that he's just like so worried about like the logistics. Well, what if we're not together? Like, I hate when men do that. It's like it's a they're fucking kids, you're fucking Santa, who gives a fuck? I also again it's just like I've been very firm with her about boundaries. It just seems like you're not willing to like make anything happen.

SPEAKER_03:

Again, like does he even like her? No. That's a funny boundary. I will love you fiercely, but I will not be Santa. But I also don't know if I see another Christmas in our future.

SPEAKER_00:

I also just like the second you pull up chat GPT to ask about relationship advice before just talking to your girlfriend about boundaries is like that's some beta ass behavior. Like what like, um, I don't know. I've I kind of feel like my girlfriend's taking advantage. She's not. She just wants her kids to be happy, and you are a good candidate to be Santa. I think we've got as a society, we've taken the word boundaries and fucking ran a half marathon with it where it's like, no, but I set a boundary. You didn't set shit, bitch. You went to Chat GPT and you won't throw on a costume just to make kids Christmas. Like you're you're fine. And oh, what if we break up I don't know, what if? Then you'll probably have to be Santa for another girl. Like, I don't care. Like, you are Santa when it comes to December, and if you don't fucking like that, then I don't care. I'm calling him. I don't even have like a phone to Oh yeah, we've Oh I have my phone.

SPEAKER_03:

Calling him via cell phone.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey bitch. Ho ho ho. How are you? Oh, you try to set a boundary. I'm sure you didn't. Like, what the f like just dress up as Santa. I don't get why it's like so insane. And again, if it's not about the body thing, like that is like your one out where it's like, yeah, that's like unfair of people just like to see a 300-pound man and be like, okay, you need to be Santa for my kids. But it feels like more like you are just like, you don't know what boundaries are, baby. And Chat GPC isn't gonna see just talk to your girlfriend, get into the fucking holiday spirit. I'm sure she would pay for your Santa. Oh my god, my neighbor's like low-key hot um costume. Damn, I live next to that. Um but you're fine. You don't know what boundaries are, you're just saying shit like I hate straight men for doing shit like this. Dress up as Santa or break up with your girlfriend. Like, you don't know what boundaries are. Chat GPT doesn't know what boundaries are. Have a conversation with your girlfriend. If you really don't want to dress up as Santa, then that's fine. But if it's not about the 300 pounds, like I'm having a really hard time empathizing with you, so you're fine. I don't care. I'm getting you didn't say anything. And all right, love you too, bye. I don't know, men just are so insane. That's just kind of the bottom line.

SPEAKER_02:

Can I ask you guys something?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you guys like Santa being Santa, or do you like those other little nicknames? Saint Nicholas?

SPEAKER_00:

I'm not calling him Saint Nick. I don't give a shit. What are other nicknames? Uh isn't Saint Nick a different guy?

SPEAKER_02:

What? Is he?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you guys like Kumpus?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I yeah, I don't I'm only calling him Santa. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02:

Or it's Chris Kringle.

SPEAKER_00:

But aren't these all like like are they variations of Santa?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I mean it's Santa at his core. Santa core.

SPEAKER_00:

Pick one.

SPEAKER_02:

How old were you guys when you found out about like pretty old, honestly.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe like 11. And I found out from like my six-year-old neighbor, and I was like, you don't fucking know anything, Emily, bitch. And then I came home and my mom and I was like, Emily, like literally saying Santa's not real. And my mom's like, Well, and I'm like, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. It is really embarrassing finding out that Santa isn't real from someone half your age. Because it's like, damn, I'm in sixth grade and I'm still believing in this kindergartner. Is like, you know that shit's fake. And I'm like, you're fake, Emily.

SPEAKER_03:

They have down to a science because they make it so that, like, oh, if you don't believe, that's actually when the magic stops. Yeah. But if you are willing to keep believing despite society, Christmas. Big pharma christmas. If you just keep believing, all the doubters are gonna say it's fake, but the magic won't work on them, but it will continue to work on you if you just believe.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's if you believe you receive. Mary Grumpness. Happy Crempin. There's too many. There are too many Santa's.

SPEAKER_03:

Brett, did you ever go Christmas Caroline? I feel like you probably did.

SPEAKER_00:

You're a mean girl. Probably. No, I don't remember. But I was like heavily involved with choir growing up. Is it an AP choir? Wait, what? Honor choir, actually. Honor choir, sorry. Honor. I used my AP choir credit. No, but I honestly was thinking about this today. My voice isn't bad, but it's definitely not what it used to be.

SPEAKER_02:

I've never heard your real singing.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh same. Um, so I kind of want to take like a voice, I want to get a voice coach. Because I'm also like, what if I like side quest? Book a role and they're like, oh, it'd be cool if you could sing, and then I'm like, well, but like if I, you know, fix my shit, yeah, I can sing. They didn't say I couldn't sing.

SPEAKER_02:

Are you a uh tenor or a bass?

SPEAKER_03:

What men can't be an alto or soprano?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, Bailey, that's so small-minded of you, but tenor. Soprano! Rumors are true. I'm a tenor. I remember as a tenor, like it would be like the worst like day in my life as a tenor. Get ready with me as a tenor in eighth grade. But it was like like Sopranos obviously gotta sing the chorus, and then tenor's like, I just haven't met you yet. Obviously saying that, but it would just be like I would just be singing like the same, like, uh just haven't met. I can't remember it.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you guys have a favorite Christmas movie?

SPEAKER_00:

I like didn't watch like any Christmas movie that was made before like 2004. I'm like, I don't that's unimpressive to me. Like the one about the kid with a gun. Okay, I don't stand for guns, so you know the one who really wanted a rifle?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, Ralphie from a Christmas story.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't I'm not gonna call him Ralphie. So I'm actually not comfortable calling him Ralphie. I'll call him Saint Nicholas.

SPEAKER_03:

Ralphie is the name of the buffalo at CU Boulder. Like, they have a live buffalo as their mascot, and his name is Ralphie.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, that's the type of shit. Like, as I was like 16 and in high school, I'm like, that's why I need to go to CU Boulder. Like, obviously, I know nothing about it. It's also like$70,000 a year for tuition. I also have like a mid-GPA. I'm like, I need to go.

SPEAKER_03:

I need to be an open major there.

SPEAKER_00:

I need to be an open major there without scholarship. Like, mom, what do you not get? This is my dream.

SPEAKER_03:

Dad.

SPEAKER_00:

Dad. What is it?

SPEAKER_03:

I have to go off.

SPEAKER_00:

Dud, I'll have to go off and live my own.

SPEAKER_03:

That was gay Pinocchio, by the way. Yeah. Wait, what do you have you seen all the controversy with the new Spongebob movie?

SPEAKER_00:

No, because I fucking hate SpongeBob. What's a controversy?

SPEAKER_03:

People are just saying that it's like very R-rated.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I feel like that's a thing where it's like, oh, you watch it now as an adult and you will see all these Easter eggs. I honestly stop making kids movies. Like, like it's funny when you have like one or two, like, oh, that's not what the kids think it is. But like, I feel like with SpongeBob, like I watched the trailer. I didn't have a choice. I was in the movie, okay? And I'm respectful. I don't have my didn't go on my phone. I watched the trailer. And I'm just like, you guys are like trying too hard to like make it funny for like the adult bitch. Adults aren't watching this, except for these two in my room.

SPEAKER_03:

Wait, leave me out of this. Except for this. With him back in 2D, did I say sit there and look stupid?

SPEAKER_00:

Is it he's still 2D?

SPEAKER_03:

No, in the new movie, he's 3D.

SPEAKER_00:

Meaning what? Well, like he's Isn't he like technically 3D all the time, but we just don't have 3D glasses?

SPEAKER_03:

He's like, uh I don't think so. He's like three-dimensional.

SPEAKER_02:

I hate him so much. Like, genuinely, if I met SpongeBob in real life, I like would sucker punch him. He's so annoying. He gets away with so much shit. Like, stop weaponizing your incompetence. Like, you are a dumb guy.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a funny way to speak about LGBT men.

SPEAKER_00:

SpongeBob's not gay.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, he is.

SPEAKER_00:

Says who.

SPEAKER_03:

I got drinks with him last night.

SPEAKER_02:

He did not come out and stop making people come out before they're ready.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, Spongebob's not ready to come out. And neither are the straight men from Heated Rivalry, okay? I honestly I'll talk about this very, very briefly. I don't think anyone should be pushed to come out as someone who got pushed to come out. But I'm also like, if these two men, you know what? Honestly, I see both sides because I'm like, one, like, if these two men from heated rivalry are straight and they're keeping their straightness behind closed doors to continue to profit off of the gay community, I think that's annoying. But if they are, if we're protecting their sexuality because they're not straight, then yeah, they're fine. But if they are straight, I'll be pissed. Someone asked like a hockey player who might be gay or like whatever, if they think that this show will like help uh athletes who are like in the closet and come out, and he's like, No, I don't think anyone who actually plays hockey is watching this show.

SPEAKER_02:

I haven't seen it. Hockey, I feel like, is a sport that there are so many books about like hockey romances. Like, what is it about the ice that makes sense? That makes people gay.

SPEAKER_00:

It is always funny where it's like, damn, we've found every situation to make like a horny situation.

SPEAKER_02:

The MMC is a podcaster back home for the holidays. He's a little uptight, but he runs into an old friend who is the way who loosens now. She's a baker. She has 18,000 orders to complete before Christmas Eve. Where is she gonna find help? Maybe in the unlikely stranger who just landed.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe in the Whole Foods checkout lane. Um, you guys, wow, I cannot believe you spent Christmas Day with my fat ass. Honestly, we're doing a Lola Blanket giveaway. We decided right now, if you comment 25 reasons you love me in this podcast, in the just kidding, you just have to comment Lola Blanket letter by letter in the comments, and one of you guys will be getting a your very own.

SPEAKER_03:

Can you tell them which comments? Like Instagram, Facebook, on any any of the comments. So we will just keep track of all platforms.

SPEAKER_00:

As if we're gonna get more than 30 comments, we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_03:

We're gonna blow up. I'm gonna enter. Yeah, you're gonna be able to do it. The blanket will be crusty and not be washed.

SPEAKER_00:

It will be one of the blankets that Holly and Bailey left out overnight. We will have another episode which will end season one that will be coming out the New Year's Day. Um, and that will be more of like a recap, and I'll just explain and express my gratitude in full on that one. But Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy holidays, happy Honda days. I love you guys so much. Thank you for letting me take two weeks off because I fucking needed it. Um and I found my voice again. I wanted to do a Spongebob laugh, but I couldn't do it. Um, but truly, thank you guys so much. Happy holidays. Love you guys again. Comment Lola Blanket letter by letter to receive your very own$400 Lola blanket that is unfortunately the softest thing I've ever felt.

SPEAKER_03:

But you will be getting the crusty one, right?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I'll send you a new one. Oh, that's sweet. I know. But you have to pay for shipping, you have to pay for shipping and handling, and also the blanket.

SPEAKER_02:

And tariffs.

SPEAKER_00:

And tariffs, too, and an additional$20 from for us here. It's crazy how much money I lose from this podcast. I haven't made a set from this podcast, but I'll send you a fucking Lola blanket. I don't give a shit. Love you guys so much. Get out of here. Go kiss your grandma or something. I saw a really quick a real What do you think?

unknown:

A real short?

SPEAKER_00:

I can't hear that real short one more time. A vertical. I want verticals to be permanently removed from the internet. You could, you could, and you would somehow act better than all of these people who are in all of them. Um, but I saw something on Instagram that was like white people be like, okay, I'm gonna go shower with grandpa. And that genuinely is how most of you guys are. So, anyways, go kiss your grandpa on the lips, tuck your grandma in, slap your papa's ass. I love you guys so much. Happy holidays from the dialing in team to you.

unknown:

Happy holidays.