25. am i a good person or is my therapist lying to me??

This week on Dialing In with Brett, Brett reflects on his 2025 as we close out season 1 of the podcast. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi, this is Brad. I was dialing you in because I had a question. I there's no way. Hello? What a dick. Hey you guys. Hi. Hey, how are you? Good. Um, I'm refilming the podcast. I am refilming the podcast episode. Rita is loose, and I assume she will ruin most of the shots. So if you're watching visually, I'm sure she will fuck up the camera in a way that's irreversible. If you're listening audibly, I'm sure she will also find a way to make some noises that you will pick up as well. Here she is, wanting me to throw her ball, and I can't engage, or else she will continue to want me to throw her. Baby, we're not playing right now. Oh, it's not the vibe. Daddy's working, daddy's working. You think this roof just gets over your head, bitch? No, someone has to pay for it. Anyway, I am back. Um, it's like a brief hiatus, but also like not really at all. Something that's like horrible. Um, but I'm eternally grateful for my career just before we get. I am just the most grateful gentleman you could ever imagine. Truly, though. Like, I my life is insane and I'm so grateful. Something that's like less ideal is when I like literally don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone, but then I still kind of have to post online and still get in front of the camera and talk to the camera and then post that out to be perceived by however many people. Not that fun. Not that fun. And honestly, like it's when it rains, it fucking pours, and it has been it has been pouring in my life. And honestly, like, I am completely fine. I am completely fine. People have had way worse years than I did. I just like had like a lot happen to me in the past like month and a half, and it's just been like a lot of processing that, which I've processed and I'm chill now. The last episode. The last episode, I literally I was sitting in my childhood bed. I had therapy earlier, and it was like, you could fucking tell. Guy who was going through it. It was so it just was so not fun to watch, and it was just like, here's what I learned this year, and it was just like the exact situation I was in. I was like, just zoom back into that. You're you're fine, you will be so fucking fine. Me now, current day being so fucking fine, but I was just like in the thick of it in a very unfun way to watch. And Holly and Bailey are out of town, are out of town. Um, I'm kidding, I I've known for a very long time that they're out of town, and I was supposed to be out of town too. Um, but I was having to edit the podcast by myself, and it was me being very genuine and vulnerable. So vulnerable that it was uncomfortable, almost a little uncomfortable. Um, but I scrapped that. I scrapped it and I'm redoing this, which I will have to edit myself. Um, a completely fine, very capable young gentleman. Um, but it's something I will like, I am not making any errors. I'm going to practically put this out as is because I don't want to have to edit anything ever again. Anyway, um, I'm back in LA. I went home. Home was great, my family's great, but god damn it, can they get on my nerves? Like, it's really hard where it's like you are doing nothing wrong, but unfortunately, shit is so unfunny in my head right now that I'm so easily irritable and I don't want to snap in my family because they're so fucking perfect for the most part. Some of them kidding. And I didn't really snap at all. And so now that I've came back to LA, I am just like emotionally exhausted from all of the potential snappings that could have happened, all of the snappings that I held in. Um, and I also was like, when I come back to LA, like I'm literally gonna get shit done. Like, no, like no fucking around no more. Um, literally, I've just like been pretty fucking lazy, and it's been very hard for me to do anything. Sorry, Rita obviously just like got really close to the audio recorder, and I assume she fucked it up. She didn't. You're perfect, baby. Anyways, let's get into it. Um, I had a fucking weird 2025. I think I learned so much about myself, I learned so much about others that I didn't need to know that I didn't need to know. Um, I got back into therapy this year, which has also helped me a fuck ton. Like, genuinely, if y'all like even just want someone to like gossip to, like, therapy is a great option. Sometimes it's randomly super unaffordable. But if you find don't do better help, and if you see me do a better help ad in the next two months, shut up. Baby needs his check, but no, I'm kidding. But don't do better help. I think that's like fake, and I think all therapy is good, but like that one, I'm like, I actually don't know. Honestly, it's better to just talk shit to your friends than do then to do better help. Rita, baby, it's not the time, it's not quite oh my god. Speaking of Rita on the Lolo blanket, I'm still setting out the Lola blankets. Everything that I say, everything I promise will come true. It just things things are gonna be delayed. Things are gonna be delayed a little bit, but that's fine, that's a new normal. I also think this breaks my heart to say, and we will be coming back, you guys. I think this is the end of season one. Yeah, pseudo ones that we got you here, but not because you're bringing back all the memories of the memories we've gone through. Imagine like a slideshow of clips from the podcast playing over that. Okay, Holly, do something. Hey, Holly, don't just stand there and look stupid. Make a fucking memories by Maroon 5 fan edit, you dumb. Sleep. Alright, let's get into the year. This year was very bizarre. I just had to like digest so many things and learn so many hard lessons and unlearn so many falsities. I'm just gonna say that as if it's a word, if it's not. Holy shit, did I just come up with a really cool fun word? Falsities, which um the Webster dictionary defines falsities as just like not the truth. Like, just like um it's like the opposite of the truth, but like I should I want to make a dictionary where I just go through and explain the words in like my dumb valley vocal fry voice. Someone also commented the vocal fry is crazy in one of my videos, which I'm like, fuck, is this how I'm finding out I have a vocal fry? Which I have lived in LA for six years, and I I think it's like sometimes I say LA and I'm like sh like I need to be shot. LA. I'm from my I alright. Like, I'm horrible. I'm becoming the worst version of myself, but I'm also becoming the best version of myself with therapy, with better help, with better help therapy. This unlicensed, untrained professional has helped me with my she doesn't have a degree, no, but she's totally like my bestie. Genuinely, some like better help ads that people just read from a screen. It is crazy with podcasts where it's like their ads are literally them just like reading a prompter. I mean, like, BetterHelp is a great way to prov provide for yourself and also the la long-lasting uh benefits will also help your loved ones, such as friends, family, and others. Use better help use I almost just said someone's name. Use Brat20 to get 20% off your first session, or try to sign up on like how are y'all getting paid bad bans for that? Y'all couldn't even like or put that into your own words. Damn. And I'm making zero dollars from this podcast. Fuck no, fuck no, baby. Anyways, let's get into what I learned. The first lesson is just like people are so insecure, and I think I I have been an insecure person my entire fucking life, and I think this year I'm like, there is no benefit to me being insecure and hating myself. Like, I think that was just like my mom. Every good quality I have is because of my mom. She's perfect, she is so giving, she's so selfless, she is so intentional, she's literally the best woman I've ever met. And every good quality I have is because I've just like watched and observed her. Um, but she is I think she just is like humble to a flaw. And I think that's kind of like where I was like, oh, okay, I can't ever take a compliment, I can't ever like feel good about myself or like think highly of myself, or that somehow feels arrogant. And so I think I was like, I don't want to come off as arrogant so bad or like ungrateful or anything, which is like genuinely how I feel like I so I can't even like accept a compliment or think these things of myself, and even like in the comfort of my own home, I'm like I wouldn't give myself credit for anything, or like like it really did take me into like this year where I could like admit to myself that I think I'm like kind of funny sometimes. And I think I just like whenever someone who I like think is cool or more famous than me likes something that I posted or I think is funny, I'm like, okay, like they don't actually like think it's funny that it's doing that because like they feel bad for me. Like there's like a pet petty, it's a pity like, like it doesn't mean anything. And I'm like, I damn why am I like so hard on myself? I got so bad where I'm like, I am the only thing standing in the way of myself. Like, no one no one else benefits from me hating myself, it's only directly affecting me. And I was like, oh, what if I didn't? I like I don't know why this camera is so bad, it always dies or the memory's full, which like that's like a very normal or just like turns. I don't know, it's always an issue. And I'm like, I thought I I got the camera that everyone just like this is the best camera for nope, best camera for what, bitch, because this shit sucks. Anyway, I've been practicing this like false confidence for probably like three years now, where I'm like, I actually like hate myself, but I'm just gonna like present as confident, um, which was very much a front, but then like I fronted so much where I'm like, damn, like, all right, and kind of believe myself now. Um, but then it still just took an extra like oh wait, like, actually, why do you hate yourself? And I think this year, I haven't been as I was saying, I haven't been proud of myself ever or given myself credit for anything. And it took me completing the mini series to be like, oh wait, I'm actually capable of doing the things that I've wanted to do my entire life. And like I put those theories to the test. I'm like, damn, I can do that. That's crazy. And like this entire time I've just been like, again, I am the only thing standing away of myself. It's not like anyone else is like, well, I mean people on the internet, and also like, I'm like, no one else is like tearing me down. Well, I wouldn't say nobody, but really it like at the end of the day, it's like, why are we being so hard on ourselves? Why are we hating ourselves so much? Why are we so insecure? Like, bitch, you're all that you got. And I think that's where like I've been let down by so many people this year, and like I think I've seen people's true colors, and people have been put in situations where like they could have proved to me their loyalty, but they've done quite the opposite, and it's hurt me so bad. And I also just like came to this realization where it's like, damn, at the end of the day, it's really just you. And at first I was like, that's horrible. What do you mean? It's like, oh shit, no, I'm just gonna be like the only person who has my back is me. But then I'm also like, okay, damn. But if I see it like that, it's like, okay, then like why would I not invest in me? Why would I not be the best version of myself for me? So then when people are fake, when people lie, when people I was gonna say cheat. I haven't been cheated on this year. I'm sure next year will be different. I'm like, I'm sure that's coming next year. Um, but I think yeah, I just like got to why like what is the point of hating yourself? It really does just affect you. Like, I was the person in my own head being like, you can't do that, you're not good enough, you're not funny enough. Like, and I just stopped doing that, and now I'm like, oh shit, I can do these things. This shit is so hard. Life is so fucking hard, and I think something that we don't talk about enough is like we were born in a very strange generation, like things that our generation has dealt with, no generations before have dealt with, like the fact that we have social media so easily accessible to us, like that's so fucking harmful. Like, that's not normal. The fact that we have access to like every celebrity, like every person in the world is like not normal. We shouldn't have access to all that. We shouldn't see everything that we see and we do, and the fact that our country's also like going to fucking shit, and it's like, damn, like, are we gonna even like be around in like 20 years? Like, I don't know, we have it so fucking hard. And I'm like, I think just like acknowledging that, and I think even like our parents and the generations before I'm like, y'all don't get it, y'all don't get it. Like, I think just like the constant anxiety of life is so valid because I'm like, even if you take out all of your personal issues, it's like you turn on the news and it's like, oh, we're fucked. I finally found out how to love myself this year, and I'm like, oh my god, it's crazy because the rest of my life will be so much easier now because of it. Just because of one thing of being able to be confident in myself and love myself. I also think the more confidence you build in yourself, the more you see how insecure people are and how their insecurities affect everything. And I think something that's been like tricky for me this year is like I have worked so fucking hard on myself. I've like really tried to love myself. I've gone to therapy again, which I obviously I've been in therapy before for other things. Um but I think it's just like, oh, now like I you are I'm so aware of other people's insecurities and how it affects everything in their life and how it affects you friendships and relationships, and it's just like it's not a cute look. It's not a cute look. Like, if you're insecure, I'm sorry that's horrible. I was insecure until like two days ago, and I hated myself until like two days ago. But I'm like, don't bring that shit into your friendships. Like, your insecurities are actively making you a worse friend, it's making you a more jealous friend, it's making you like I don't know. It's once you work on your own shit, it's so much easier to love other people, it's so much easier to separate the like I don't know. It's I really think it's not that hard to be a good friend if you love your friend so much. And I love my friends so much, and I think they're so great and have so many great qualities, and it's just like it's so this is like another side thing I learned here. It's so easy to show up for a friend. We have access to every single thing like a person does via social media, they post a post, like it, comment it, respond. Like, it's so easy to just be like, oh my god, this looks so fun! Like, can't wait to hear about it. You like we know what we're doing, we're all doing at all times, pretty much, and it's very bizarre. We have each other's locations, like you know, like it's so easy to send just like a quick text. It means so much, I guess I'm talking for myself to just like respond to something, to send a like, to show that you care, to show you are engaged. I don't know. I think it's so easy. We have unlimited resources to show up for people and to be a good friend, and like people are so busy that it's like, okay, you can't always physically show up for someone, you can't always do like a 45-minute long FaceTime calm down sesh, but like you can fucking like a story, you can respond to a story. Like, I think some people think that's like superficial, but I'm like, in this day and age when we have so much shit going on, that like means a lot, and it's really not that hard to do. It's really not hard to support your friends, and like I think if you're feeling under-supported in your friends or your friends are making you feel like shit, it's like bring it up to them, maybe have a productive conversation, explain to them if they like don't handle that explanation well. Like see ya. I put so much value in my friendships this year because I think in previous years, I since I've started posting online, and like I care so much what other people online think about me, and I would read all the comments this year. I stopped doing that. I'm like, I don't fucking care. Also, like if you comment something, which like I I'm like the 30th person to say this probably today, but it's like if you comment something mean online on someone's profile, like you are a fucking loser. You are a loser. People are getting way too comfortable just saying what they think and commenting online, like you're still a bitch. I had a lock up Rita, sorry, it just like wasn't the vibe at all. Um, but I've been seeing this a lot with like celebrity interviews, the comment sections, people are so fucking mean. And it's also like just because these people are public figures doesn't mean you can just comment whatever the fuck you want on these things, like you're still being a mean person. Like the comments will be like, ew, that dress, ew, she's so ugly, ew, she's so botched. Oh my god, I will never like her. Something about her is so off, or if she's like being like an actress is being like completely sweet and normal, they're like, oh, someone's PR chained. I don't know, I don't buy it. Like, y'all, there is a world where like that's just like a good person, and we can just let that be. Like, I don't know why we're so quick to just like shit on people and like bring people down. Like, that's so fucking lame. And now that I like myself, I'm like, I don't want to bring other people down. I see the value in like lifting people up so much, and again, we live in a horrible time, we live in a horrible time because of like the state of our world and everything happening. Like, we already have so much on our plate. No one needs to be humbled. I promise you, no one needs to be fucking brought down to earth. There are a few people that you can talk shit about publicly online. Genes are passed down from um, but besides that, unless someone's being like a bad, mean person, you don't need to humble them. Everyone has so much shit going on in their lives, everyone's so busy, everyone like internally has so many battles that they're trying to fight. Like, stop trying to humble. I don't know what your what your issue is. Even if you're commenting on like a celebrity's video that they might never never see, you're still putting bad energy out in the world and you're a bad person. People work respond really mean things to me, and I don't care, but I'll go and respond to people who like I can tell they are like fans of my work but are being mean, and they're like, Oh my god, I'm kidding. That's this is just like how I am. I'm like, okay, but you're still just like being mean to me. You're still just like saying something mean out of context. Like, oh my god, this is like literally how I talk to my friends. Okay, well, if my friend said I fucking hate the way you look, I wouldn't be friends with them, or like love you to death, but like this is not your look. Like, shut up, leave me alone, leave me out of this. You're lame and pathetic. But this is less specific to me. I actually really don't get hated on that much or don't look at it that much. Just stop posting mean comments. There's no fucking need for that, and you're still a negative person. And I think just like every time you post a mean comment, I want you to sit in that and feel it. And also, like, if you wouldn't say it to their fucking face, don't say it at all. And also, why would you say that to their face? But you wouldn't, because you're a pussy. Anyway, sorry, long rant. Um next. Um, I think this year I've had the most conflict and confrontation that I've ever had in my entire life. I hate conflict. I hate confrontation, but I think confrontation is unfortunately necessary sometimes. And I also think confrontation is sometimes the is way more mature than the alternative, which I guess is just like not confronting and talking shit behind someone's back. It's been very hard for me this year because I again hated myself. I had no confidence, I was such a people pleaser, which that's another thing. People pleasing so far out. People pleasing is so far out because it's like, oh, we're pleasing people who like only think of themselves. Like you can peace please people who like will give you something in return. Why am I people pleasing for someone who like doesn't even give a shit what I'm doing? Why do I care? Why do I want your approval so bad? I don't, it means nothing to me. You don't care about I don't care. And I think this year I've just like completely dropped the people pleasing. I don't need to, everyone doesn't need to like me. I don't care if everyone likes me. If people don't like me, like I know deep down I'm a good person, and I like try to consider other people in every decision I make. And I really try hard not to make things about myself or decisions based off just solely myself. So I'm like, if someone thinks I'm a bad person, someone doesn't like me, like that is on them. I know what I know about myself, like nor like I don't care anyway. But I also think something that I thought about this year is like explanations, like explaining yourself in a situation where like you got hurt, or explaining yourself in a situation where so you hurt someone. I think communicating is so fucking important. Like, I I can't do the like no, I just like I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk, grow up. I want to talk about it. I hate like sitting in this like resentment feeling. I literally said I don't care if someone like doesn't like me, but this is like if someone who I care about, if I hurt someone I cared about, I would feel horrible. I would want to fix it immediately, I want to apologize immediately, I'd want to explain myself immediately. In my experience this year, some of my closest friends have really hurt me, and I've explained to them why they've really hurt me, and they still didn't care enough to like reach out, and I'm like, that's so lame to me. That is so lame to me, and it shows so much about your character and about our friendship that it's like if you know I'm actively hurting and you actively hurt me, and you're just like sitting on that information and not responding is like insane. I also think if you if someone comes to you and like says you make made them feel some type of way, even if you don't like necessarily agree with that, I think apologizing for making someone feeling that way to start out the conversation is so important. Because if you are a good friend of someone, you never want to hurt your friends. Like, I I get no joy out of like making my friends upset. That's horrible. If I ever make my friends feel upset or unsupported or etc. I'm apologize. I feel horrible. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. Like that was not my intention at all. And I think some people are so like don't apologize, which I'm like, you don't have to apologize for the act, but like, don't you feel bad for making one of your close friends feel like shit? Like you can explain yourself and like the situation, and you can also like honestly disagree with what they're saying, but you still made them feel like shit. You still should apologize for making them feel like shit because you should still care about the fact that you made them feel like shit. Going off that. I think explanations are a privilege, which I'm saying, I think communicating is so important. Like, if you have a friendship that you really care about and they've hurt you, I think explaining that to them and like giving them a chance to explain themselves is so beneficial because I've had so many times where I've been like upset or hurt by something a friend did, and I explained it to them, and that they were like, Oh, I'm sorry you felt like that. Like, honestly, like this is why I was taking some space, some distance. Oh my god, that makes sense. I'm okay, great. I'm so glad I talked to you about this. Water under the fucking bridge. There are some times where it's like I have been hurt repeatedly by friends, and I'm like, I honestly don't even care enough to explain myself to you if they're like aware of this situation, and it's like, oh, like you just like make me feel bad about myself. I don't even care to give you an explanation of like as to why. I think that's also okay. Like, I think explaining yourself when necessary, but not over-explaining yourself when you don't need to be. When something feels too far gone, I like I honestly think it's just like protect your peace, you don't even need to explain yourself. If you've come to terms with that, I think it's like that is more important than like fully explaining yourself to someone. My character, as I said, I feel like has been questioned the most it's ever been. And I'm like, okay, if you believe that I would do XYZ and that's not true at all, like if you genuinely think I could do that, I would do that after being such a supportive, loving friend who always shows up. Like, I don't that's I'm not gonna explain myself. And I think another thing that's came up recently is like I think I've caught like doesn't give a fuck about friends allegation, like willing to drop friends, which I'm like that it's like not true at all. I I hate losing friends, but I also understand that it's like as I said, a good friend can change your life, a horrible friend can ruin your life. I've had so many friends in my life, I've had incredible friends, and like my entire life I've been so fortunate where I feel like I've had such a good group of friends and like have always had at least like three really close friends at any time that like I could go to. I genuinely think friends are like in your life for a reason or a season. And as cliche as that fucking is, and it's like there's so many people, like I'm so grateful for all of my friends, even the ones that I'm not friends with anymore, even the ones that I had like falling outs with. I'm like, you genuinely changed my life and you changed my perspective and you changed something about me. Everyone that I've ever met has changed something about me and myself, or like I've observed something of them that I admire or don't admire, and I don't want to act that way. Like, I don't know. I think being okay with friends coming and going is a good quality to have. I don't want to ever dispose of my friends who are very, very good to me and I love so much. There are so many people who I love so much, and I would I would fight for that friendship, but I would never beg for a friendship. And I'm saying so many like buzz, buzz phrase. I'm like, this friendship's not serving me. Which damn, they really like were right with all these fucking cliches. Like the second a friendship stops serving me, I'm like, I have so many good friends that like uh have shown me unconditional love and support. Like, I'm not like I'm not waiting around for this friend who like I think like it's there's no point in like trying to save. I'm also not gonna fight for a friendship where the friend doesn't even feel like they want me to fight for it. Like I will I will put myself out there, I will apologize, I will like go over above and beyond for a little bit. I never want to be in a position where I feel like someone else has power over whether or not we're friends. Where I'm like, if I feel like that, where it's like you are dictating our friendship, like I don't want to be a part of that. I'm also the person where I'm like, if one person doesn't want me at a party or function, like I'm not going. I'm not going. Like I don't, I don't, I don't care who else is there. It's like if one person like actively doesn't want me there, it's like fuck okay, then I'm not coming. I don't want to be there. Get your negative attitude out of here. Since I've started becoming more confident in myself and comfortable in my own skin, I feel like so much less need to like prove myself to people. And I've been starting to say, don't tell them, show them. But I feel like I just like I talk about myself so fucking much as I'm like on a podcast talking about myself and my year. But I'm like, I'm like so bored of talking about myself, and I'm also like so bored of talking to people who I like don't care about, which sounds like so horrible to say. But I'm like, I don't want to talk about myself, so like I don't where are we from? If I have to tell one more bitch where I'm from, it doesn't matter. I'm from Iowa. Ready to live in town. I don't care, like I'm so like I hate the bitch. She's like, I'm so I hate small talk. And it's like, okay, but you also can't long talk. You also can't, like, it's like the person who's like, Oh, I hate small talk. Who it's like, okay, well then say anything else. Like, you can't, you just can't carry on a conversation. But I think I'm just so bored of like boring people. I'm tired of just having like going out friends. What's the point of that? Like, also my friends who like love and support me and care about me also can drink like a fucking fish. Like, I don't need people in my life. Like, that feels so college where it's like that feels like a frat. Where it's like, oh yeah, I have like the people who care about me, but like, yeah, I'm going to the Fiji tailgate.

Speaker: 29:01

Hey, come through. I love drinking with the boys.

Speaker 1: 29:04

Like, I don't know what like I want my friends to be complex. I want my friends to be like supportive. I want I don't know. I just I just think that like one-dimensional friendship is so unappealing to me. Like, oh, we're gonna just get drunk together and laugh. Like, that's fun, obviously. Like, but I'm also like my friends who also know and support me and ask me questions, do that too. People are so bad at asking questions. Very fortunate because my mom's perfect and very intentional, and I think she just has always been good at asking questions. But I'm like, it's so it's so fucking easy to ask someone a question. Like, I don't get how people are so bad at it. Like, where are you from is like the default question. Girl, like, use any of your fucking brain cells. Like, why can't you ask me? There's so many things you can like learn about a person and ask about a person. The last thing I want to know is where the fuck you live in the city, unless I'm trying to smash, unless I'm trying to bone, and then I'm like, obviously, just send me your coordinates and I want to know as little about you as possible. I'm kidding, I don't fuck like that. I wish. Um, oh, but going back off to like the I don't want to talk about myself. I don't also want to talk unprompted about myself. If someone asks me a question, sure, I'll talk. But I'm not just gonna be like, I hate the bitch you just like when you you like they just like keep going when you don't ask them anything. And it's like I'm not gonna openly share things that I'm excited about or passionate about unless like you are willing to ask me. There needs to be some level of promptedness, and people need to be able to ask questions, and they don't know how to fucking ask questions. That's why I don't go on dates. So I don't date. No one knows how to ask a question. I'm not gonna go in, like, I don't care enough to hear about your shit for an hour and a half, and I don't care enough to talk about my shit unless you know how to ask me a question. Obviously, the camera died, it's plugged into the charger and it's charging as we filmed. I don't know how that makes sense. But that's what I was thinking, no one knows how to ask questions. I became friends with this girl a couple years ago, and like she's so interesting to me, and I'm just so like I don't know, I ask her such insane questions, and she even like started like writing them down because they are like bizarre, but I'm like, I just like I'm I want to get to know her so much, and like she's so interesting to me. And I'm like, it's so I don't know, living in a city, it's so fun being around like people who are so different from you and have so many different life experiences and have like different opinions on things in you, and I think that is like I don't know, like you can learn so fucking much from other people, but you have to ask them questions, and I think just like asking good questions like creates such good conversation and also like shows that you give a shit. Which now I sound like the pick me girl who's like, don't tell me where you're from, tell me the craziest thing about then let's see a cousin. Like, I don't find like what do you even but no, like I think I also wish it's like I hate small talk, I don't want to talk to strangers. And I really don't think it's that fucking hard to come up with these questions. Maybe I'll make a list of them for you guys to do it because you guys ask horrible, not you guys specifically. You guys are all perfect, all 42 of you. I love you to fucking death. The next thing, um what is the next thing? Oh, a new thing that I've started doing is just like sounds insane. Standing up for people. Again, I've been such a people pleaser my entire life. I've never once stood up for myself or anyone else for that matter. Well, m maybe more so other people. Definitely not myself. I've started standing up for like employees at places. I just think there's so many times in public I've seen like customers treat the employees just like kind of like shit, or just like clap back at them, or just like make comments or get upset about things that they can't control. Which have I was I kind of a dick to the DMB employee when I went. Yeah. The towing place person. Like, I'm sorry. I am sorry, I feel horrible. Um, but I think just like even standing up, I was at this pumpkin patch, which I don't know if I've already I think I've already told this story. I don't know if you guys fucking listen to anything I say, which is fine. I don't blame you. But there was this lady who was working there, and this guy ordered like one large drink and wanted it in two medium cups, and he was mad that the two medium cups weren't filled up all the way, but it made sense because it she poured the large into the two mediums, and he just like kept going at her, and I like just stepped up. I was like, Okay, she's it like I just like stood up for her because I was like, she's literally explained to you why it's not possible, like why I don't get what you're confused about. Like he just like kept being rude to this lady, and it's like it's not her fault, like you just paid less because you tried to like cheat the system, and now she's not letting you cheat the system. Like, I don't I don't know what to tell you. And then he got really mad, and then I also was like, But I was like, Oh my god, I'm proud that I stood up for the employee. Obviously, the employee didn't give a shit at all. But I think in moments where like in public where it's like, oh damn, no one is standing up for this person, and like this person is being very irrational, just like even making a comment, or like if you don't want to like cause more conflict or and drama, like after the person, I was gonna say after the man leaves the situation, it's probably a fucking man, honestly. Though like six-year-old women can be mean too. Um, but I think just like even to the employee be like, hey, I'm sorry, that's like so weird, that's so unfair of them to say that. I don't know. I've been in a situation so many times, like I've worked at a gym, I've worked in an InstaCar, I've worked at the highway state fair. I've worked just like so many jobs where I've like encountered very horrible customers, and I think just like when other customers would just be like, Hey, I'm sorry about that. It's just like, yeah, thanks for like noticing that. Because I think in those moments you're just like, Again, people have so much shit going on in their lives. Why are you being like a cunt to the Trader Joe's employee? But like just acknowledging the fact that that person was rude and just like acknowledging them as a human is also, I feel like, just like so important. And I think there's so many times where we just like see things happen to people who don't deserve it and not say anything, and again, just like standing up for them, whether that's in front of the person who's being a piece of shit, or just like acknowledging them after. I also this year I'm trying to talk less shit. I I've talked shit in the past, it's it's bad. I'm not proud of it. I usually don't talk shit about my closest friends, but sometimes, like, you know, in the heat of the moment, we're on a trip. I'm just gonna fucking mess me out. I need to stop doing that. It's not worth it. I love my friends so fucking much, and I think I've seen just like friendships and friends turn against each other based off of just things that people have said in passing in the moment that have gotten relayed back to them. And I'm like, it just sucks because it's like, oh damn, I know you guys love each other so much, and this was like taken so far out of context, but now it's like you guys hate each other because of this little comment. I also think if someone is talking shit to you about someone, like, and it doesn't need to be relayed back to the original person, don't tell them. I think I've just seen so many times where it's like something was like said about someone in a situation coming from genuine care, and everyone in the situation knew that and knew the context, but then what was said in that conversation was repeated back to the other person and out of context, and then it's just like, oh, now they hate each other. Now they hate each other, and it was taken out of context. And if it given context, it makes so much more sense. Why the fuck are we doing that? Which I think we just in general need to stop talking as much shit about our friends. And again, like there are some times where it's just like, oh my god, like I love this person so much, but like she's pissing me off. Do that in a very safe and comfortable environment. I think just like talking shit too publicly, having your circle be too wide, it's just like it's not worth it. And again, I've said things about my friends where they've irritated me in passing, and it's not been an issue at all, but like it ended up being an issue because it got repeated back to them, and it's just like I just didn't need to even make that comment. I love my friends so much. I don't need to be making these like little like I can keep some shit to myself, or like just tell one person. Like, I I think the mass spread of like talking shit has gone too far. I think like if you love and care about someone, there's no need for you to even make a comment. And I'm saying this to myself too. If you love your friends, stop talking shit about them. If you have a genuine problem or genuine concern with them, bring them to your friend. And I know sometimes it is important. Like, if you have, I've been in situations where it's like this friend who I love and care about has put me in like a tough situation, and I don't think less of the person I don't want, and I know how much you love and care about this person, and I know you won't think less about this person, too. I need to talk to someone about this. I think that's fine, but it's also a slippery slope where I don't know, I just think if you don't need to say anything mean this year, let's not do it. So, yeah, less talking shit in 2026, which pains me. I'm kidding. Obviously, if I'm never gonna be friends with you and you like did a horrible thing to me, I will talk shit about you. I'm sorry. I deserve to tell anyone if you like personally wrong me. Something about being on the internet that is like hard is like yeah, sometimes I do want to like shit on someone. Sometimes I want you guys to know the truth about people, and it's it's very hard to just be like ah no, it's okay. I'll just I can't say anything, so I'll just keep my mouth shut. Um, but yeah, it is a very weird position. I won't try to use it for evil, but like, god damn it, sometimes I want to. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. I'm so sorry this is out so late. I also I'm gonna give you guys one more chance to do the Lola Blanket. Comment Lola Blanca on any any of my shit um letter by letter. Um, and you will be entered for a raffle for a new brand spanking new Lola Blanket that we will announce probably in a week because Holly and Bailey are gone until next Sunday. And I can't do as much as I thought I could without them. So, um, but yeah, final thoughts, y'all. Tell your friends you love them, encourage your friends, be a good friend, show up for your friend, talk less shit this year when unnecessary. Again, if it's necessary and you'll never be friends with this person again, you can honestly kind of get away with anything. Kidding. Um explain yourself when necessary. Don't hate yourself, truly. Like the thought of me not being capable of doing hard things was. Literally a thought that I put in my brain and I believe to be true, and you can just unlearn that. And it takes time and it takes a fuck ton of time. I also think the fact that baby it's really just you at the end of the day, and that sounds lonely, but it's also inspiring, and we can do what we want, and we can take steps to be the best version of ourselves, and we can like everything we learn, every hardship we have that we get past is like a learning opportunity, and it's like, oh, now I know more, I'm more knowledgeable about these things, I'm better equipped for the next thing that comes up. Like, we kind of just like keep leveling up. I really have been thinking about life as a video game, and it's like I feel like I've leveled up so much this year, and so I'm like, oh, the next levels are gonna be easy because I learned all of these lessons. I had all these hardships, I had all these realizations, but now that I process them, I'm like, oh wait, great. I this will never happen again. These issues will never happen again because I will handle them differently. I won't let them get to these points. I don't know. I think it's just so cool growing and maturing and learning, and there's so much to learn, there's so much to grow, there's so much room to grow, there's so much to learn from people. Ask intentional questions, get to know your friends, get to know other people. I won't be getting to know strangers this year. I'm kidding, I need to stop saying that. That's not funny. Um, but yeah, I love you guys so much. Um, thank you for an incredible season one. This is not at all what I expected and how I expected the podcast to go, but it's somehow even better. And I think just like having this space to talk to y'all is like actually insane. And for all of you guys who've listened to every episode, I can't even like express my gratitude towards you. And season two, I've already started thinking about some fun things. I might be moving. I might be moving. Um, and I'm very excited about that. Also, the mini-series hopefully is fucking coming out soon. I'm having to like work with the production team to edit that. If that show gets fucking picked up, I'm sending every single one of you listeners a little blanket, which luckily for my bank account is only about 20. Getting, but randomly these blankets are fucking expensive. Um, but no, that hopefully just fingers crossed. Cross your fingers, dot your T's, cross, cross your fingers, cross your T's, dot your I's. Turn on your auto caps. Um, no, but I love you guys truly. Um thank you for letting me get to live this life. I feel crazy. I feel eternally grateful. I'm so excited about this year. I want you guys to be excited about this year. I want you guys to be excited about yourselves. I want you to lift up other people. I want you to address your insecurities head fucking on. I want you to get therapy that's not better. Help truly, the cap for what we're capable of doing is like non-existent. Do what you want. Be happy, love yourself, kiss a friend, if appropriate, if applicable. But no, seriously, thank you guys so much for season one. Season two, finna be a movie. Movie might be a little different in a good way. Um, all right, I love you guys. Happy New Year, happy season one. That's a wrap on season one, you guys. Woo! Woohoo! Okay, love you. Hey, hey.