Becoming Lotus
A podcast about the power in becoming.
For women who are still in motion, still rising, still blooming—
and choosing to live with purpose, passion, and presence.
For women who know there’s more to life—and refuse to waste a single moment of it.
Becoming Lotus is a space for raw and real stories that stir us—stories that inspire, empower, and awaken.
It’s for the women who are still in motion, still rising, still blooming—with strength, grace, and resilience.
Here, we don’t chase perfection. We honour the unfolding.
One story, one moment, one breath at a time.
Becoming Lotus
Global Perspectives on Living by Choice, Not Default — A Conversation with Matt Sochon
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What does it really mean to live by choice… not default?
In this episode of Becoming Lotus, I sit down with Matt Sochon—coach, mentor, founder of the Sochon Method, and someone who played a pivotal role in my own journey of pushing beyond what I thought I was capable of.
Just over a year ago, I stepped into Matt’s world in Dubai—completely outside of my comfort zone—and that experience became a catalyst for everything that followed. This conversation is a full-circle moment.
Together, we get into what it’s like living—“smack dab in the middle of a war zone”—and the perspective that comes with that reality.
We also explore what women often underestimate in themselves, and open up a powerful conversation around masculinity—challenging outdated stereotypes and redefining strength through vulnerability, authenticity, and personal responsibility.
Matt is someone who embodies edification—the act of uplifting, encouraging, and bringing out the best in others—and it’s something you’ll feel throughout this conversation.
This episode is an invitation to stop living by default… and start living with intention.
Because your life is happening now—
and you get to choose how you show up in it.
Until next time—keep rising, keep blooming, and keep soaking it all in.
If this episode spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it and it would be greatly appreciated if you would take a moment to write a review.
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📖 Explore my book I AM LOTUS and my life coaching offerings at tamaraoshaughnessy.com
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Last week I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down to record a very special episode of Becoming Lotus. My guest, Matt Soshan. And this conversation is special to me for a few reasons. Not only is Matt my first male guest on the podcast, he also played a significant role in my life as my coach and trainer, pushing me beyond what I thought I was capable of. Yes, physically, but through that I discovered so much more about myself. And just over a year ago, I sat down with Matt in Dubai as a guest on his podcast. I had never done anything like that before, and I was completely out of my comfort zone. But that moment, that uncomfortable, pivotal experience, became the catalyst for where I am today. Becoming Lotus would not exist had I not said yes to that experience. Matt is the founder of the Dubai-based Sochan method, a coach, a mentor, and a man who, despite only being in his early 30s, has already impacted hundreds of lives, both men and women. A fascinating young man that I have tremendous respect for. Someone who knows what it takes, hard work, tenacity, and showing up, not only for himself but for his clients. And someone who embodies a word that I've always loved. Edification. To edify means to uplift, to encourage, and to build someone up. It's something that I strive to do in my own life. And it's something that Matt naturally does. Welcome to Becoming Lotus, Matt.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for having me as well.
SPEAKER_01Let's get into it. For those of us on this side of the world, we're seeing the headlines, we're seeing the clips, but we don't really feel the reality of it. And from the outside, it almost looks like people are just carrying on with their daily lives. So I'm really curious what it is actually like to be living there in Dubai right now with the war happening all around you.
SPEAKER_00Do you know why? It's been such a weird thing to live through because you go through so many different emotions about how to handle it and how to experience it. So for example, at the beginning, when it all started to happen, that was a lot of panic. There was a lot of, oh my God, like this is happening. Um what next? What should we do? And the communication between obviously what was going on and then what the government was telling you. I'm talking about maybe the first two to three days, right? When this started. So you've got all that going on, and then you think, okay, what should we do? Do we go about a normal day? Do we not? Do we have to go to a different emirate? Should we think about leaving? So there's a lot of uncertainty around that. And then as it progressed, and this is a very strange thing to say, but it's the reality for some, not for everyone, for some, as it progressed, you became normalized to it. You became very used to the fact that you were getting alerts on your phone about a missile threat. You get really used to hearing these bangs in the sky of these intercept interceptors exploding. You get very used to hearing about debris hitting a tower or a building that a drone isn't almost here. So it becomes a part of your normal day. Now, a lot of people handle this situation very differently, and the common consensus that I think myself and other people use was that there's no right or wrong way to handle it. It's however you seem fit, and it's however what your situation and circumstances like it are. If if you have small kids, the majority of people said we don't need to be here, so we're not going to be here. Whereas I would imagine people who are single and who are here on their own potentially chose to stay here because they felt safe. But ultimately, it's been a very strange situation, it's been very conflicting that you feel safe, but at the same time you feel like you shouldn't be feeling safe. That was a really strange feeling. And then, of course, the knock-on effect it has with everything else, right? So obviously, as most people know, the UAE and specifically Dubai is not the same. And anyone who says otherwise is probably not being totally transparent. And when I say not the same, obviously, you know, the tourism has completely kind of fallen off, and then everything slowed down a little bit. So you're going through almost a mini COVID, as that was, not to the fullest extent, but it feels like it. Like the roads are quieter, the malls are dead, the gyms are quieter. Only recently it's just started to pick back up again. But the last kind of five weeks is definitely been a reminder in terms of where you live, I think. Like, you know, you live in this bubble of where everyone is used to the fact that Dubai is this kind of safe haven, but at the same time, you are living smack bam in the middle middle east and sometimes does its own thing and you you have no control over it. Um which is the reality.
SPEAKER_01My gosh, we can't even imagine has it affected sleep.
SPEAKER_00So I've I could probably count on my hand the amount of times that it's really impacted my sleep. I think about three, four times, but the majority of times it's been okay. Okay. Really depends on where you live in the area. If you're living near the Jebel Ali port or down that way where the expo is, a lot of people have really suffered. Some of my clients they've really not done too well with sleep. So you get these alarms on your phones, and even if you the only way to stop it is to turn your phone off, essentially, because it just still comes through. It's this siren that goes off. That literally, if you don't know when it's coming, it scares you very much. So it that goes off, and then of course you hear all the bangs overhead, which for us, we've had a couple of bangs that shook the whole house, and you see the windows kind of doing this and going back and forth. So if that's going on like 1 a.m., 2 a.m. it definitely impacts your sleep a little bit. But I've been touch woods, we've been okay, we've only had a couple of nights. That's been it's not been too good. So at the beginning was when we first heard it, was panic, but that's because we didn't know what it was. Well, we assumed what it was. So you hear something explosion, you hear the news about obviously Iran sending missiles and drones, so you think, oh my god, something's been hit, or there's been an explosion in the sky. But then when you start to understand what it actually is, in a weird sort of way, an explosion in the sky is good because it means that it's been intercepted by what the UAE has sent up there. So once you understand that, again, it's still unnerving, but you get very much used to it, and also you understand it more. So you're not as fearful of it. In fact, you're almost kind of like, okay, that's good. When we hear the alarm go off, it's normally a few seconds and then you hear a bang. And that's that's a good thing. That's that means that it's been intercepted. So it's changed along and it goes in in tune with how everyone's been experiencing it. At the start, there was a lot of confusion and uncertainty and panic, and then I think a lot of people have just gotten used to it now.
SPEAKER_01So are things reopening there now? Because I know that the resorts were all closed down for a period. Are they still closed? Everything sort of resuming back.
SPEAKER_00So I the the hotels, I don't think tourism will from what I've heard. I've got a few clients who are in the tourism sector, and again, they said that it's probably not going to be until the next year when they start to open up to tourism again in terms of invite them in or welcoming tourism. Everything's open now. The only thing that's not is schools, they've closed schools, which isn't understandable. But in terms of when it comes down to hotels and restaurants and stuff like this and malls, everything's open, it's just super, super quiet, like very, very low capacity.
SPEAKER_01A real change for Dubai.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, honestly. And you know what? For someone who's living here, it's actually quite nice because Dubai was getting super busy, the roads and the traffic was getting out of control. So, in a weird way, I'm not complaining about the quietness, but I do know that there's obviously an impact that has on that economically, and everyone feels a pinch a little bit. Um, but everything's open at the moment as it stands. Hopefully, it can stays the same.
SPEAKER_01And once this all settles down, Dubai will probably come back even bigger and stronger.
SPEAKER_00For sure.
SPEAKER_01I I think and be busier.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. I mean, uh, it's done that every single time something's something's happened. Um, so I'm very, very confident. Because I mean, for me, tomorrow is that I believe in Dubai and how it does things, and I'm very, very much have full confidence in what they do here in terms of how and how they do it. So for me, it was never a question that it would eventually come back, it's just a matter of time and how long that would be. And I think a lot of people with for that uncertainty, that's the worry for them, whether or not it's losing jobs or having pay cuts or business slowing down, like as long as there's an endpoint, and as soon as we reach that endpoint, I know it will come back just as quick for sure.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. So getting into the actual podcast now, I was thinking this morning that this whole thing started when I met you and did my physical transformation with you. But also with that physical transformation comes the internal transformation, what happens during the process of it, and then at the end of that, the photo shoot, and then at the end of that the podcast with you. Being on my very first podcast, being very nervous to go on with you, and then having that experience, new experience, check. And now here I am. That was the catalyst for me wanting to do my own podcast, and so full circle, here you are on my podcast, which is amazing.
SPEAKER_00Awesome when that happens, really, really cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So, first question is your history. Take us through how you got to Dubai. You're from a very small town in England. What was that like? Was there a question you asked yourself about getting to the point where you wanted to leave and move? What was the catalyst for that? Did you have the support of your family and friends to venture out on your own? And was Dubai always a dream of yours? How did that come about?
SPEAKER_00So, as you correctly said, I'm from a very, very small town in the UK in the UK called Hinkley, which is in Leicestershire. So it's super, super small. It's it's probably the most central point in the UK, as you can get and imagine. And along with that, there's not much there, right? The town is full of charity shops and barbers. There's nothing there in that sense. So uh in terms of what you have access to and what you have potential for, is extremely limited. As most of people my age at the time, talking about 17, maybe years old, 16, 17, went to do something like bricklaying, went to go and work as a builder, stuff like this. Again, it wasn't anything that was exciting, it was just to and a bit of cash and to get by. So that was something that I stepped into just automatically. Along with that, because my family's from almost a military background, so I joined the army for not very long, about five months, and that allowed me to just try it out. It was one of these things that my dad was in the army, my granddad was in the army, so it was something that I thought, well, look, I'll kind of try out and see. And I tried it and it wasn't something that I enjoyed at all, really. It was something that at the time uh it just didn't feel right. It wasn't for me, it wasn't something that kind of really made me feel excited. So I came out of that just as quick. I think I left just before they give you like a it's almost like a grace period that you are able to kind of make a decision whether you stay or leave. So I left that. And then obviously, staying at home, I was living with my mum at the time, I was 18 years old at the time. I was thinking, okay, well, what do I do here? Because this is something where I'm really gonna have to, you know, choose and decide where I'm gonna go with this. Now, at that point, I'd never thought or dreamed that I'll be working in a different country. I was just trying to make some money and just to have a normal life, so I could get a nice car maybe and get a house somewhere and just have a normal life. So um my mum actually made nothing out of the ordinary same, right? And this is something that the majority of people at that in in that area, that's where they go down. They go down that route of get a car, you get a house, you maybe get a girlfriend, and then you kind of have kids, and that's where you're at. Very, very typical story. But my mum actually made the suggestion why don't you do into personal training? You go to the gym every day, you enjoy that. Why don't you check that out? So I said, okay, cool. So I went to college, but did an apprenticeship with that, then sports science, strength for conditioning, did all my education, and I managed to get a job at for my first full job was at a Virgin Active. So for those who don't know, Virgin Active in the UK is I think everywhere else, other countries as well. It's a big gym, well, it's a big brand, but they have gym chains as well. So our one was in the town next door to called Rugby, so rugby town, and that's where Virgin Active was. So I joined there and I worked there for about two and a half years, and that's where I just started off. I learned the craft, learned basically how it all works, went as a gym instructor to a PT, doing all the mandatory hours as you do when you we start off a PT, which is normally 5 a.m. till nine pm, right? So you're doing these ridiculous hours, but you're kind of learning as much as you can, and also you're making a bit of money as well. So you know, you're in a happy place with that. Fast forward two and a half years there, that takes me to around 20, 20 and a half. I actually did uh randomly because I still was a bit okay. Well, do I want to travel? Do I not? I randomly did a summer in America. So I did Camp America. Where was it? Indiana. So it's a very random, I call it a side quest. Like I just went off and did that for three months, four months.
SPEAKER_01What were you doing? What was your role there?
SPEAKER_00So I was a sports coordinator. That meant you ran the activities for the kids throughout the day and programmed what they would do and how they would move around throughout the campus. So I had to learn how to play baseball and all this kind of stuff, which I had no clue how to play. But I was like, okay, I need to learn all this kind of stuff. Baseball, American football, all that. So I did that for about three, four months. I came back, and then I was like, right, I know I need to get out of here. I had travelled a little bit and I was like, I really like this, and it was not nothing against the UK, I just didn't feel like it was where I belonged. I've never really been excited to stay in the UK, and that's to not to put the UK down. I know a lot of people enjoy it there and love it there, and and they love the country, and that's fine. For me, it never really felt like that was where I should be, and I didn't know where I should be, but I just know the UK wasn't here, and I also knew where I lived, it wasn't going to give me the life that I really envisioned that I could have. From a very early age, I always wanted to do a lot more and have a more fulfilled life than everyone around me, right? To put it in perspective, when I was about 10 years old, and this is really cheesy, but I'll say it anyway. I every single motivational person, whether it was an actor, a speaker, music artist, what whoever that I looked up to, and I'm talking like Tony Robbins, Will Smith, like all these people, I printed out an A4 piece of paper of their head, and I stuck it on my wall behind my bed, and I made like this collage of all these like heads of people, Alan Watts, like all these philosophers and stuff. And that was like my vision board for four or five years until we moved house. So I always knew that I wanted to do something, and I just didn't know what to do. And you know, the help that I had at home, it was there, but it wasn't there in the sense that they didn't know how to help either. Like it was one of these things that the especially my mum, she was in a position where it was like she wants to help, but she didn't have the resources to to help. Um, it was a case that she could only s motivate me, and that was enough. I'm not saying that that wasn't enough, but she was only able to say, look, this is what you should do, and you should go and do it. So there was a lot of support there, but that was the help that I had with that. So I had to really do it on my own in in that sense and make get myself to make the own action and make something of it.
SPEAKER_01So there's nobody in your life that had ever done anything like that before.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Like it was had ever left or yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it was like almost you have to break that cycle, right? If you want to do something, and because you're the first person, you could argue that it is tough, right? Because you're having to go through all the uncertainty, you're having to start from scratch and put yourself in that position where a lot of people wouldn't want to do it or be willing to do it. So I knew what I wanted to do. So I stumbled across this company called Ultimate Performance, which is a it's a boutique gym that they have many around the world now. But when I applied, they only had a few around the world and mainly condensed in the UK. And they have it in all the top places, so Mayfair, in New York, Mumbai, Singapore, so all these hubs in the capitals, and it's uh an appointment only gym. So you go there, very, very high end, you would book your appointment with the PT, and then you would just have that session and leave. So the whole gym was revolved around appointment only. And I I remember I was looking through or looking at that gym for about a year before I applied, and I became a bit obsessed with the gym. I was like, this is where I need to go, this is what I need to do. I followed all the trainers, I went into the website, I literally looked at the website every single day. Then I built the courage to apply. Now, when I applied, I applied for Mayfair and I didn't get it. They said I wasn't good enough, so that was cool, that was fine. Uh, they said wait six months, then come back. So I did, and then I applied for Singapore because that job title came up. So I thought, okay, I could do Singapore. Um, I didn't get that. They were like, no, it's not good enough. Come back in six months. I got really disheartened, and I remember I was all I was like, I'm not doing this anymore, I'm giving up. But six months passed by anyway, right? So you might as well wait. Six months is six months, so you know, it's gonna pass by regardless.
SPEAKER_01It's gonna pass.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so yeah, you might as well apply again. And then I applied for Dubai, Dubai obviously came up, and it was relatively new gym as well. It only opened up about a couple of years, so it was relatively new. And I had an interview with the manager at the time, James, and it's a very, very kind of interview process. There's about six steps that there is for a PT role.
SPEAKER_01Now, was that typical of all of the locations or Dubai?
SPEAKER_00Typical of all that seems very Dubai-like typical of all, it's just their standard of how they want to vet and take people in. The only issue is that I failed on the first step on the other two times previously, so I never really got to understand what it was. So when I passed the first initial stage, then I was like, okay, wow, like you know, this is real, and now I have to really kind of shine through on this. And you obviously have to pass every stage, right? They gave me a call and said, Looks, do you want to do it? And I remember two or three months later, July 2018, I moved to Dubai and started the role, and that's what brought me to that location.
SPEAKER_01So, how old were you at this point?
SPEAKER_00I must have been around 22, 23, 22, I think, at the time.
SPEAKER_01And big big jump for a 22-year-old.
SPEAKER_00You know what? It was it definitely was a big jump, and I remember I was very nervous. However, I was just as excited, if not more excited, to make the transition because I was at that point where the UK I completely had enough of being there. It was somewhere that it just like I said, it didn't feel right at all. So I was ready for it, and obviously, you hear all the great things about Dubai, the lifestyle, the weather, all that kind of stuff. And the fact that I was moving out there for a job was a big deal as well. I think people who move out here without a job sometimes have a bit of a harder start, so that was nice, and that kind of made things a little bit easier. And then, of course, I met some amazing people there as well, some really cool people that I'm still friends with and still see to this day. And UP was the place that I really learned everything. And I always say this I never regret once working there. I always will value what they taught me, and UP gave me so much to be able to be in the position that I'm in right now. I wouldn't be in the position to know what I knew now. Would not be here right now if I hadn't have done it. So I owe them a lot to to UP and being in there. Don't get me wrong, it was hard work. I talking about the hours, these were even these were the same hours, but even more intense. Yeah, you were scrutinized a lot. The best way I can describe it is, and this is the way the owner modeled the company, is he modeled it off a law firm. So you have juniors, you have associates, you have mentors, mentees, everything is scrutinized, everything is looked at. So it's very it's run very tightly to a very high standard. So you're in on that, and the especially the first year, it was very, very hard. It was very long hours, and you didn't really experience the buy at the start. It was like you experience work, home, and then maybe one or two places outside at the weekend, that's about it. Um, it's only when you go through the process a bit more and you're there for a couple of years that you can really start to have a bit more freedom back and then obviously enjoy the buy. And that brought me to here. I was there for I think three and a half years. I left to do my own thing. It was quite a common theme that once you hit a bit of a point at UP, you've got two choices. You can either stay on as a trainer or you can progress in corporate as a manager role and go through that stage. That didn't really interest me going into the corporate side of things. It's never been something that I've wanted to do. So the option was do I stay at UP, be capped with certain things and not being able to really move, or do I go out and do my own thing? And that was the that was the second big risk that I've ever taken. The first one moving, and then the second one obviously quitting the job that I moved forward to start my own thing. But again, it was one of these risks that I took, you know, thank God it it worked out the way it did. Um, and I owe that again to a lot of my clients that that I work with, some amazing people, the relationships I've built up over the years, that really helped. And that put me in a position where I was able to set my own business up and that's brought me to uh to where I am today.
SPEAKER_01Growing the Sochan method.
SPEAKER_00Growing the Sohn method, yes.
SPEAKER_01And changing lives.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Well, definitely trying to, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think this happens to a lot of people, no matter what your age or your stage of life. You know, it's exactly what you said. You kind of fall into what's expected. And before you know it, you've built a life that looks right on the outside, but doesn't fully feel right on the inside. And there's that quiet voice that says that there's more for me, but it's easier not to listen to it. So what advice would you give to somebody listening who might be thinking that there's something more out there, but they're afraid to find out what that is?
SPEAKER_00Question.
SPEAKER_01I mean sleepwalking through the day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Only to realize that today has gone and you've gone another day without doing something that's stepping outside your comfort zone. You've become complacent in your own life.
SPEAKER_00I mean, ultimately, this is gonna sound really cheesy. And again, like I definitely don't know it all, and I'm definitely not in a position where, you know, I've got this secret source or anything, but I think from my own experience. No, for sure, yeah, for sure. But I guess going off the experience of what I've had, but if I look at where I'm at now and then where I was at home in the UK, sat in my room as a 17, 18 year old, like I wasn't the brightest at all. I was nowhere near the brightest at school. Really the one most well behaved as well, if we're talking about all that kind of stuff. And I'm from a very small town in the middle of nowhere that doesn't really stand for anything or have anything going on. And if I'm able to take that leap and get to where I am, then honestly, I do believe that I believe that anyone can. I don't think there is any limitations at all. And I think that's the thing that you have to tell yourself. And it's really easy to say this when you've done it already, but you've almost got to tell yourself that it's possible and it's doable before you even take action because you have to almost believe that you're able to do that, or there is something out there, or you are able to take that leap. I think a lot of the time people put themselves in a box like this is how I should be, or this is how it is, or this is how life is going to pan out because it just is. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is just how it is, right? Whether it's because it's the parents done it, or this is how everyone else has done it, or maybe I just don't believe I can do it, so I'm just going to take that road. But you almost have to you have to break that cycle and that barrier, and just like with anything, the only person that's going to be able to do it is you. And the only way you're going to do it is by first of all believing that there's a possibility of doing it, which there is, because if other people have done it before you, then you are able to do it. That's a fact. And then also that there has to follow on with taking action. And again, like for me, taking action on applying for the same job three times, like resistance, yeah, like it might not pan out the straight away, and it might not work the straight away. You might have to adapt and you might have to try again, or you might have to keep showing up, and that's that's just how it is. But yeah, I mean, and of course, people are in different situations, right? So sometimes it's not as easy as going, right, well, I'm just going to do this or do that. But at the same time, what other choice do you have? At the end of the day, if you're wanting more and you're wanting to do more and you're wanting to have a better life because you know there's more out there, you've really got to go for it and do it, otherwise, you'll be sat there either regretting, second guessing. And I've done that before. I've regretted decisions I didn't make, and it sucks because you think I should have done that. And so I can't imagine that being on a bigger scale. And the way you avoid that is by taking action on stuff that you know that is possible. And if you don't think it's possible, then you have to get to a point where you believe that it is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because there's a lot of people like you who maybe think that there's something more out there, but don't know what that is. So they just keep putting one foot in front of the other here in that routine. Yep. I think it's great for people to be able to hear stories like yours because it's inspirational.
SPEAKER_00Sure. And also like when you're obviously, you know, this goes without saying, but when you're obviously below 30 years old, you have got the ability to maneuver a lot more and a lot easier, right? So again, the best thing I did was move countries. And I think as soon as you do that initially, that first move that you do, it opens up a world of everything else, and that kind of can lead you down all different paths. The problem is that so many people never really move away, they they stay in the same place in the same town due to comfortability or just familiarity or because they're scared and fearful, and they stay in that same place, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if you're the person who wants more, then that does eventually become a problem. And the best thing, like I said, I've never regretted it once at all. Even when things are tough during COVID, whatever it may be, never regretted moving. It's always been a case of right, well, how can I deal with this situation I'm in now? I've never once gone. Oh, I shouldn't have moved, like this wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be in this position.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00It's never once crossed my mind.
SPEAKER_01So it's fair to say that if Dubai hadn't have worked out, you wouldn't have gone back to the UK. You would have looked for somewhere else to go.
SPEAKER_00For sure. I mean, I've you know, I mean, Thailand's always been a really nice place that I've obviously visited, and I've said I would definitely live here. Um, places in Europe, even the states, like before me and Charlie started to date.
SPEAKER_01Indiana?
SPEAKER_00Maybe not Indiana. It wasn't something that I know there's maybe a bit more scenic places than Indiana. Not to say that Indiana's bad, Indiana was lovely, but there's there's another place I want to see. But yeah, the states, that was another place as well that definitely see myself living there. So yeah, if Dubai hadn't worked out, somewhere else for sure.
SPEAKER_01Okay, getting into your training and Soun method, I know you've trained men before, but your business is primarily women. Are you exclusively women?
SPEAKER_00So I do train guys still, but it's not something that I okay advertise really or I don't really push. But I normally train people's partners or guys that I've trained for the last six years and if they stay with me. So again, like the business from what most people see and from what I market and advertise is women. But I've got about how many guys do I train? One, two, three, I'd say about seven, six or seven guys that I train at the moment.
SPEAKER_01Why primarily women?
SPEAKER_00So it's a very interesting realization that when I had left UP and I was doing my usual kind of training. This is before I made the social method, um, it was that transition period of going from employment to self-employed. I looked at my roster one day and I was like, well, this is 80, 85% women. And I thought, well, that's interesting. I've not tried that, I've not tried to do that, I've not pushed that. I wasn't doing much marketing at that point, so I wasn't really even um couldn't blame it on what I was posting. And instead of me saying, Well, this is something that I don't want or want, I kind of just ran with it and I said, Let's run with it, let's go for it. So that was the more natural kind of response to it. Plus, from from my experience, is that I've always been able to, I guess, what's the word I'm looking for? When I've worked with women compared to men, I've always, always, always got a better result with women. Always. And that's just I don't know, I don't know why, I don't know what that is, but I've always managed to get a much better result with women than with guys, and I think there's people have pros and cons to both. And some trainers will tell you, well, this is what I like working with women, and this is what I don't like, and it's the same with guys as well. But for me, I just went off statistics, I went off what my current roster was, I went off who I got the results with the most, and I went from there and I created what was working exactly. Yeah, and again, I think part of it is not to think about it too much and not to fight it, and if it's working and if it's going down a path naturally and organically, I think that's probably one of the best ways that the market to tell you, look, this is what's going on, and this is what where you should be heading.
SPEAKER_01What do you see in women that maybe they don't see in themselves?
SPEAKER_00That they are a heck of a lot stronger than they realize, both physically and mentally. Right.
SPEAKER_01Um I can attest to that.
SPEAKER_00There you go. And it's true, it's so true. And let's just talk about the physical side for a second, if we can. The amount of girls that I used to train primarily at the beginning, it was more beginners. So it was more people who potentially hadn't really stepped foot in the gym or they weren't doing it consistently, they didn't really enjoy it. So it was newbies, essentially. People that wanted to lose a lot of weight, that type of stuff, right? And every single time I start to train that that type of client, that avatar, they would automatically assume that they wouldn't be able to do X, Y, Z. Like you would say to them, okay, we're gonna split squat this, and they'll be like, I can't do that. Or you'd say, right, we're gonna dumbar press this, or we're going to pour this, or we're going to run with this, or we're gonna drag this. Almost or by default, the phrase was, oh, I don't think I'm able to do that. That was almost like the phrase of the century that most women would use. And it didn't take much, just a little bit of belief and saying, look, you know, bit of reinforcements, positive reinforcements that they could do it, and they tried it, that they've realized that they could. And that was just at the basic level. And now where we are now with who we train, we train advanced lifters, women who already train, so not necessarily beginners anymore, even with them who are in a position where they regularly train and they are experienced, they still have a massive self-belimiting belief about what they're able to achieve. If you say to some of them, okay, well, we're going to be able to do a pull-up one day, majority would be that I don't think I can. I've never been able to do one, so therefore I don't think it's going to be possible. And again, instilling the belief that they're going to be able to do this and be able to kind of see it through to the end, and it might not be overnight, but we will get there. And when they finally achieve it, it's this amazing accomplishment, and rightly so. But the back to the point that the biggest thing is strength and having the belief that actually there's stronger than they realize. Because obviously, with the physical aspect comes the mental, they come hand in hand, it's like a package. You can't get physically, you can't get physically strong, as you know, without the mental strength coming alongside it. Because you have to have mental fortitude and you have to be mentally focused with this to be able to get to the point where you're moving heavy weights and heavy load because it's not easy, and it takes a certain type of thinking, a certain type of way of going about things that allows you to do that. So, again, those two points huge, and it's the common phrase that when they achieve something that actually they're stronger than they ever thought they could get, and that's normally the end result. The visual is awesome, but also how they feel and what they're able to do in the gym that becomes and something that we touched on when I was on your podcast was how you're always setting that next marker.
SPEAKER_01You know, you reach a goal and instead of settling in there, you place something just ahead of it, as if you're dangling the next carrot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly that.
SPEAKER_01So the patterns that show up again and again in women are self-doubt.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, limiting beliefs.
SPEAKER_00Sure, absolutely. I would say common patterns, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, maybe a little bit of fear as well. And I'm not saying fear in the sense of that they're afraid to come into the gym and lift weights, although that could be one of them. But fear of actually becoming the this person that they want to become and maybe fearful of what others think. That there's a very common type of scenario that majority of our girls go through. And I almost prep them all while they're going through this journey that actually this is probably going to happen, and you're probably going to get these types of comments and questions and statements, and that's normal that we coach them how to deal with that before it's happened because we know it's going to happen and we don't want it to catch them off guard. And what I'm talking about is that ultimately they want to be this person that's healthy, they want to be this person that looks after their health, that goes to the gym, that prioritises themselves, that potentially food preps at home, that doesn't always eat out and drink out. They want to become one of the best versions of themselves, not just for them, but for their kids and their family, etc. And what normally happens is that they get a lot of backlash from peers, from maybe family members and from um work colleagues, whoever it is, about the type of person that they're becoming. And I think a lot of women fear that they get these comments, they get these statements, and they're really in two minds whether or not they want to make the change or not. We get girls saying, I want to do this, but I'm I don't want to become that type of person. I want to be able to get into a photo shoot condition, but I don't want to be the food prep girl. And then you ask them, okay, well, why? It's like, well, I don't want people to say XYZ. I don't want people at work to see me bringing my food prep in, and then they make comments, and it goes down this path, but they want it, but they don't want what comes with it. And that's probably what I would to the to the list that you've mentioned fear in specifically to relation to that.
SPEAKER_01So with the photo shoot, some people might look at it and think, okay, it's just about getting your picture taken. They might criticize that as a target, but I know for me it meant something a lot more. So what are you actually seeing in people when they go through that experience?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I guess if people have a problem with that to start with, I would first of all say, mind your business. I think that's the biggest one that I'd say. Secondly, is as you've mentioned, right? And this is what you said it extremely well, uh, very beautifully when you did yours, is that it captures a moment in time. I remember that phrase you said specifically from our podcast. It captures a moment in time, and that summarizes what the photo shoot does. Yes, it looks amazing. Yes, you get these great pictures, it captures a moment in time that you applied yourself more so than you probably ever have done, and more so than most people ever will. And it got you to a position that allows you to get to this pinnacle, this peak that most people will never get to. But that being said, to get there, you have to become a person, right? You have to become that of which you have the end result of. It's not like you get the end result and then you become the person after. It doesn't work that way, it's the other way around. So, yes, you get the pictures, but you also get to be the person that you've potentially dreamed of being as well. And if that's not been in the forefront of your mind, it's definitely a byproduct of that. So, again, I think people who potentially criticize photo shoots have just a very shallow way of thinking or a limited way of thinking. They just look at it from a visual aspect, and that's fine. Like if that's the only thing that they can think of, but there's a lot more underneath that matters and makes a big, big difference.
SPEAKER_01It is capturing a moment in time, but it's capturing the emotion and the feelings that go along with that moment in time.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Right?
SPEAKER_01You feel strong because of what you've accomplished inside what you've been able to conquer and come through.
SPEAKER_00Totally. It's the same as you know, when people have their wedding pictures, for example, or they have the pictures of the kids' first day at school. So it takes you back to that feeling of what it was like and how it felt, and it's the same as with a photo shoot, it's no different to that. It's the same as you look back at that, and as you said, you feel strong, you feel confident, you feel capable, you feel all these positive emotions that come rushing back, and ultimately you could argue that okay, they probably never leave after that. And if they do, you can always go back and remind yourself that actually you are capable and possible of that. It's not something that was a fleeting visit and or something that's just abstract in a distance. Like you were actually able to have this and achieve that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I've done hard things and I'm able to do hard things.
SPEAKER_00Totally. Right? Totally.
SPEAKER_01Hard things are something I've been able to do in the past, and it's something that I am able to do in the future. I can do it again.
SPEAKER_00When you've done well, you you if you've done a f one photo shoot, you can do more. And your what's the word I'm looking for? Your ability to be able to do hard things, as you said, your gauge, your range increases. So you can maybe you can do this much, it's allowed you, and the capacity of doing hard things is greater, and that only just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
SPEAKER_01Your ceiling keeps going up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So working with women, have they taught you anything? Have they taught you anything that has potentially shaped you as a man?
SPEAKER_00Well, I've certainly had to practice what I preach. I think that's a big one of the big things that shaped me through coaching women. Um, from everything from what I program, if I say doing a back squat, I better be doing back squats as well, or have done, to the point of almost being a leader and being able to lead these girls to where they need to be. And that's definitely shaped me as well, because you have to be able to be that person at the forefront who people look up to, or they can definitely rely on you or lean on you, especially when things are hard, when things are tough, or when they have questions. And for me, anyway, that's something that has been very prominent for me to be able to grow into that role. You can't just learn that, you can't just do a course on it. I think you have to go through it and you have to adapt and you have to figure out and learn. You have to be in those moments where it challenges you and tests you. So I think leadership is a big one in that regard of what has helped me evolve into who I am. In terms of what they've taught me, I mean, look, I think that's a really good question because I think I've had loads of individual specific lessons that I've been taught by individual clients. But overall, I think one of the biggest things is being able to, oh gosh, being able to believe that something is possible and go for adversity even when the social norms aren't in your favour. I think that's been a really big thing that I've learned from women overall in the past. And what do I mean by that? Well, obviously, with women, the social norm hasn't been most women go into the gym and weight train and get strong. I think it's only recently that's really starting to come into its own thing. And it's been very inspiring to be able to be around these women who still, with that being in the background, still being able to go into it and really perform at their best and really achieve these things that still majority of women don't do. It's still only a very small percentage of women that actually go in and weight train. And I think having the confidence to be able to do that in a very male-dominant environment, should I say, having the confidence to be able to do that and to that point is is very inspiring. And that's that's definitely taught me a lot to be able to not be held back by certain things and be able to move forward. If you want to achieve something, then you should do it rather than succumbing to the social norms of what everyone else is doing.
SPEAKER_01What is your demographic, the ages that you train? Because you say girls, but that's a very wide range of age.
SPEAKER_00So generally from 30 to about 50, 55, 60 range. We have had a couple of girls that have been in the 20s, but the majority has been 30 almonds. Women at that age are more doing it for health conscious purposes as well. It's more to do with okay, well, yes, I want to look good, I want to be strong, but I also want to be able to be the healthiest version. I want to be able to delay certain things and be able to go through certain things at a in a better way, rather than you know, just blindly going through it and not really knowing how to how to adapt with it. So I'd say it's definitely more performance and health conscious individuals as well.
SPEAKER_01Do you think that the women that are coming into weight training feel that they have something to prove?
SPEAKER_00Uh yes and no. I think it's dependent on the individual. I think I mean it really depends on the environment that they're in and where they're at. I think, yes, in the sense that they probably want to prove to themselves more than anything that something's possible that they can do. I think a lot of the women have tried before. Like we have a lot of girls, I said to you before, that they're not completely newbies. They they already train, but they've been trying to go through the process and achieve this goal, but they've never quite gotten there. They've just been in this cycle, this ongoing cycle of just repeating themselves and not getting anywhere. So a lot of the time it's proven to themselves that actually this is possible and that they are able to achieve it and that they are able to become the best version of themselves as a leader. But then no, in the sense that I don't just think that they're doing it for themselves to prove to themselves, I think they're doing it to prove to other people, more specifically, their their children as well. I'd say about maybe 75% of the girls have children. So I think the majority of it is yes for themselves, but also to be able to prove to that the kids that this is a way of them being able to live a healthy and fulfilling life. And if you're able to do this and you're able to, you know, kind of mimic this, then you too will be able to start this journey and process at a much younger age.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I see that with my own girls. You know, they've always been watching what I do. And for me, it's about showing them that aging doesn't mean stopping, it means continuing to grow and to evolve. And we train together. And honestly, it is such a gift to be able to share this with them. So she Shifting gears, I was really intentional about having a male guest on for this conversation. Because since starting this podcast, I've learned something. The message is the same, whether you're a man or a woman. Growth is growth. Becoming is becoming. But the way we experience it and the expectations placed on us can be very different. And for men in particular, there's still this quiet pressure to be strong in a very specific way. You know, be the protector, be the provider, don't break, don't show weakness. And it's interesting because when we talk about strength, there's often this unspoken idea of what that looks like. Do you think that still serves men today? Where does it help and where does it hold men back, especially in their ability to show vulnerability?
SPEAKER_00Right. Okay.
SPEAKER_01To not admit that they want to improve themselves. You know, there's a lot of men who journal secretly who are afraid to admit that because it does go against that masculine stereotype. They're afraid to admit that they do things that might be seen as not masculine.
SPEAKER_00Look, obviously, everything that you've just described in terms of what to do, it's only going to help you. Fact. As a man. And I can say that from experience. Like I've extensively from your vision board. From my vision board for sure. From my vision board from um when I was, I want to say maybe 2021, I went down the NLP route and I've experienced that and went down that kind of side of things, neurolinguistic programming. Now it's at a really young age to do that kind of stuff. Not many people uh 20 years old are even bothered about that kind of stuff. It's too, it's too wishy-washy, it's not kind of out there in something airy-fairy, yeah. Yeah, it's not man enough, right? But for sure, being a man, not getting in tune with your emotions, not being in a position where you are in control of your emotions, and not being in a position where you can express vulnerability and show that and want to work on yourself and become the best version of yourself, that will only stun your growth and go against you. And I've seen it firsthand from friends and peers that they're still the same people as they were 18, that's still the same immature emotional reactives that they have when they were younger and teenagers, but they're in their 30s now. And I think if you're able to double down and focus on becoming better and doing those things, it's only going to serve you and help you. And in certain circles, I think it is becoming more of a thing now. I think men going to therapy, men doing personal development, and obviously depending on where you are in the world, that is becoming a bit more of an acceptance now, especially from where I'm at and from my age. In Dubai, for example, it's very, especially being in a Muslim country, it's very forward-thinking with that kind of stuff. There's a lot of people here, men that I know who are doing those things, and it's very cool to see. I think back at home in the UK, however, it's not as big, or if it is, they're certainly not open about it, and they're not up front with it.
SPEAKER_01Um you know, that's really interesting because I think a lot of people might come in with certain expectations about what growth and self-development look like in different cultures, and it sounds like Dubai is really expanding that perspective. So Massive. That's a good message.
SPEAKER_00For sure. And it's the very forethinking about this kind of stuff, and people who live here are as well, for sure. It definitely is.
SPEAKER_01I think there's a real need for this kind of conversation. Yeah. And like I said to you, that this podcast is evolving. It was originally supposed to be about women for women and evolution and being the best version of yourself and growing. But I do have quite a few male listeners. So the message is the same whether you're male or female, but there is that male stereotype that they believe that they're weak if they show their vulnerability, that they shouldn't. Maybe there's some men who listen to this podcast and don't admit that they do.
SPEAKER_00Right. So they listen to this and then be like, okay, uh, it's not something I listen to, but they secretly want to listen to it. I can't stress enough how emotions is the one that I keep coming back to because it's key being in control of your emotions, being able to be in that position where you are able to because like when you can do all these things, you can get far more done. If you're just talking, and again, like maybe from a younger demographic of men, if you want to be successful and you want to be able to have all these cool things and be able to do all these things and be successful, however that looks like to you, your definition of success, you're not going to be able to get there by not being in control of your emotions and being reactive and holding on to past trauma. Like it doesn't work, it will constantly keep holding you back and pulling you back no matter how often you feel like you can do it on your own.
SPEAKER_01No matter how many times can you be vulnerable and still be respected?
SPEAKER_00I think you're respected by other males. I think you're respected more. I think you're in a position where you get respected more and more people look up to you and more people come to you for counsel or advice. Like if you if you're in a position where you're vulnerable, a people relate to you, right? I think now more than ever, and I just know this through my own business and marketing, people are looking for relatability and um sense of community, real, something that's real, and real, absolutely, because it's not that you if everything's gone far too the other way. So people are almost craving this, right? So if you're in a position where you can be vulnerable, more people are going to respect you, number one, more people are gonna relate to you, number two, more people are gonna find a sense of community with being in your presence or being around you because what people need. But I get it, it's scary to start with to be able to be in a position where you go, look, hands up, this is where I'm at, or this is what I'm doing, and it's maybe not where you feel that you should be. It's it's scary, it's not comfortable at all, especially if you're unable to say it to your best mate in person, let alone saying it to a group of people or to your partner or to social media, or however you want to put it. So I understand where people don't, because I have been there as well. Um, but honestly, the perception of the feedback that you'll get is nowhere near as bad as you think it is. In fact, it's good, it's always received very well.
SPEAKER_01That's a great that's a great point to get out there.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01That's a great message.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01What is the difference between confidence and being authentic?
SPEAKER_00So what's the difference between being authentic and confident? I think confidence you can confidence you can mask. I think you pretend to be confident. I think you can be in a position where you um say you're confident and come across as confident. I think being authentic, I believe that when you are those things, you can't pretend to have those things. I think authenticness comes from you being vulnerable, and that gives you that badge of okay, this person's now, you know, this person is authentic to what they are and who they are. But also as well, like truly sticking to your values and your beliefs and not changing that and not manoeuvring that. I think I think confidence is is important, but I also think that confidence can be quite a shallow uh phrase, it's it doesn't have much meaning to it, that it's not that deep. It's like anyone can be a little bit confident or or pretend to be have confidence. I think there's deeper things that you can kind of strive to have, and confidence would be a byproduct of that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think confidence maybe is a byproduct of being authentic and having your own authority for sure and your own autonomy.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Yeah, yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_01Do you believe that people are living by choice or by default? Most people.
SPEAKER_00Most people by default, of course. That would be the that would be an easy answer. Yeah, by default, absolutely. And everything that we've kind of talked about.
SPEAKER_01It's a truth, it's a truth that a lot of people it will smack them in the face.
SPEAKER_00It it will, but I th right?
SPEAKER_01It is a reality.
SPEAKER_00It's a reality of it, but I also think a lot of people just don't really I mean they they probably care deep down, right? But they'll never admit it. So they'll be in a position where they, you know, by living by default, and they secretly want more and they secretly don't like the position they're in. They secretly either hate the job or hate the partner or hate the location they're living in or hate the position that they've put themselves in, but they'll never admit it. The problem is with that, is that they never admit it, they're never going to take action to change it. They're never going to be in a position where they go, right, this isn't where I want to be, and I need to change something. And ultimately, as we've said already, the only person that's going to change something is that individual. No one's coming to save them, no one's coming to help them, no one's coming to pick them up and put them in a place where they will then feel better. It has to come down to them, but I think a lot of people live in denial about it to save face or to save ego or because of fear, they never really fully uh admit that's the case. So I think it it's a double whammy. They're in a position that they don't like and they're living by default, but they don't admit that they don't like that. So they never change, they just stay in the same position. And it's so for me anyway, it's so frustrating. I don't know about you, but it is so frustrating when you see people doing that. It really is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because by even by admitting that reality, that truth, that means taking some action.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01And a lot of people don't want to face that because they don't want to take action. It's easier. The easy route is just to do nothing, not even to ask that question.
SPEAKER_00Well, but default by avoidance. Like I I can just avoid things and I don't have to then admit it or I don't have to take action on it, as you said. And that is 100% if you want an easy life, don't take action. But it will come, it'll come back round eventually. It will, just like health will. If you don't what's the saying, if you don't do hard things now, hard things will come up in your future, or your future will be hard. Yeah, it's just gonna be facts.
SPEAKER_01Hard now, easy later, easy now, hard later.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And I think that you can apply that across the board, whether that's professionally, relationships, financial, health-wise, everything. Like everything has a price tag, yeah. But it is it can be frustrating to see people go through their day to day, the week to week, a month to month, and not change anything when you do know they're capable of so much more.
SPEAKER_01So, what is one other uncomfortable truth that people need to hear?
SPEAKER_00One uncomfortable truth that people need to hear, right? This is going to be a very, very slap in the face one, and it's said in the sense that, and the reason why I say this is because so many times is that we as adults take so many things from childhood into our adult life, and that can impact us so negatively to how we are and how we're able to change things. The biggest, and I've said this a few times to people in the most respectful way, and I always say it in the most respectful way because that's how I operate. But people, men and women, need to learn how to grow up and take full responsibility, full stop, pause. That is I if I could put it any blunter, I would.
SPEAKER_01And I think that take complete ownership for their life, take complete ownership and where they are now, where they are now and grow up.
SPEAKER_00And the reason why I say grow up is because so many of the issues that many people have aren't issues, they're just making it out to be issues. So many challenges that people have can be solved and they can be fixed, they just choose not to and sit in being a victim. So many people have these ideas that they want to go and achieve something, yet they don't do it, and then they complain about the afterthought, but they can do something, and it's this childlike behaviour that for whatever reason they take it into that adult life, and it stops them from achieving something, and it stops them from doing certain things, and overall, the most important it stops them from taking accountability and ownership of where they're at, even if it's not your fault where you are. One of the best books I've read was Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willick, and he's an ex-tavy SEAL in in the States, and he's wrote this incredible book about extreme ownership and how you should take ownership for everything in your life, even if it's not your not your own fault, it could be someone else's, it could be circumstantial, it could be economical, whatever it is, but you still need to take ownership of where you are because what other choice do you have? There's there's no other choice.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. You can either blame there is no other choice, there's no other choice.
SPEAKER_00You can blame, you can tarnish other people, you can make up stories and facts that maybe or maybe not true as to why you're here, but at the end of the day, like it's not gonna make a difference, like it really isn't. You could blame the government, you choose yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You choose your perspective, and your perspective determines your reality.
SPEAKER_00100%. 100%. Yeah, so yeah, that's the that's my two cents on the what I would tell people on the uncomfortable truth for those who need to hear it, of course.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, what's one simple shift or choice that creates real change?
SPEAKER_00Follow through with what you say you're going to do. That's a good start, and it's an easy one of that. Like you don't have to change your location of where you are, you don't have to change job, you don't have to have lots of money. You can just say you're gonna do something and then do it and stick to it. And the more you do that, the more that compounds, and the more self-trust you have in yourself, and the more then you're able to set bigger goals. The reason why people don't set big goals because they don't really believe they can do it, because they've let themselves down so many times beforehand, and they're like, you know, I can't do that. Of course you can't, because you can't even get out of the bed and go for a 10-minute walk. So, of course you're not going to be able to lose 30 kilos. So start doing what you can say you're gonna do, start off small, and then build up from there.
SPEAKER_01What scares people most about change?
SPEAKER_00They have to change who they are, their identity 100%. This and we see it so many times with the girls, especially who need to lose a lot of weight. You've probably been that person for a while, and it's probably served you, even though it's negatively, it's probably served you um for a reason. It's probably kept you safe, it's kept you comfortable, or whatever that may be. So changing that or getting rid of that identity and starting a new identity is probably one of the most scariest things that many people do that they don't know it's probably a fear, probably don't know it's something that would scare them, but it is, and it requires a lot of small things that need to change in order to get this big outcome. And these small things are what they do day to day, we tweak month to month, it's how they interact with people, it's how people interact with them, it's who they're known for, it's what they've all always known, it's what their parents told them when they were younger. There's so many things with that create the identity that if they have to change it, you're changing your life essentially, and everything that you've known, and that's not a small thing. So I'd say that for sure.
SPEAKER_01Last question What's the best part of your job? What has been the most rewarding part of what you do?
SPEAKER_00So the best part of my job, I can tell you exactly what that is, is when I get a message, and this is multiple times, by the way, it's not just one single time, it's multiple times. It's when I get a message, and it's either a screenshot of a wait, it's either a picture of a photo shoot, it's either a dress that they have worn that they've never worn before, it's either a photo on holiday that they've taken, it's either a compliment that they've been given from their daughter that I've had before, it's multiple things. But having that message sent to you saying, Matt, never thought this was possible, I've never been in this position before, or I've never been able to experience this is awesome. Just hearing that and being sent that makes the whole thing worthwhile. And don't get me wrong, like the photo shoots are amazing. Like our photo shoot is probably one of the best ones that we've done just from the setup, the location, the you know, the photographers that we had, it was awesome, right? It was really cool. And the competitions that I've done with some of the girls has been awesome as well. That's really been such an amazing experience to be able to coach people through. Ultimately, it's the small things that the clients notice day to day that they never really thought was be able to achieve to achieve and do. And when they send that across to me, it's pretty awesome. One of the ones in particular is that one of my clients, Maria, on her podcast that we did, I remember specifically, she said that young daughter came up to her and said, Mom, I'm so proud of you of what you've achieved. And having that said to you from your daughter must be incredible. Uh, it must be one of the best things in the world. So knowing that's happened as a result of you know helping that client through her journey, but I'd say hands down.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Hands down. So I was just joking, it's not my last question.
SPEAKER_00That's cool.
SPEAKER_01There's two parts. What makes the Sochan method so successful? And what makes an excellent personal trainer?
SPEAKER_00Good question.
SPEAKER_01What makes the difference?
SPEAKER_00Good question. So, what makes us so successful is that we focus on two things extensively, and I never apologize for these two things, and it's not for everyone, right? And that's absolutely fine as well, because again, not everything is for everyone. Um, the two things are results and community. These are two things that I myself personally have put so much thought and effort and time and trying to understand how it works into the whole thing, and I do believe that that's what makes it successful from people getting what they've come for, number one, and I think that's huge. Like if you go into a shop and you buy a TV, you get a TV for that, and I think that's missing so much with what coaches do nowadays. So actually getting the thing that you've come for, number one, and number two, being able to be welcomed into a supportive community of other girls that are like you, that are going through that same situation and journey that get you, that understand you, that understand the struggles, that understand the problems that you have, and also celebrate your wins, and how we can create that community even more and bigger and put on certain events and certain things that we can bring people together for. I would say that those two things by far make what we do successful, hands down. Then in terms of what makes a good coach, I mean, look, you you absolutely, and I learned this from UP more than ever, you absolutely have to care about your clients. And I know this sounds so obvious, but maybe I don't know if people listening to this would be surprised or not, but it is not surprising that there are a lot of coaches out there who don't care, right? It's just something that is an easy job, they can just go through it, the motions, and they can just collect a paycheck. To make a good coach, you have to care about the client. And I would say a personal trainer is, and there's nothing wrong with personal trainer, by the way, because that's what I've done. But a personal trainer is you would take someone through a one-to-one session on the gym floor, and that's it. You've done the hour, and I'll see you next week. A coach is a mentor, it's someone who takes you through a process who coaches you every step of the way. Like I think those two things are separate, and sometimes you are going to care more about the client's result than the client themselves. That's gonna happen more often than not, but that then just solidifies that actually you are doing the right thing and you are a good coach. Because if you're caring about that client's result and how well they do more than what the client wants to do, they you're winning because you're gonna be putting in the effort in, you're gonna be going the extra mile, you're gonna be turning up when they need to be turned up, when you need to turn up, you're gonna be available when that person needs you. It will all come together. So that's what I would say for being a successful coach. You have to, it's not even a 50-50 split, you have to care, otherwise, it don't work, really doesn't work, and that's why you're so successful. We're getting there. We're getting there for sure.
SPEAKER_01I think that's it. Anything else that you can think of that maybe I didn't ask that you'd like to say?
SPEAKER_00Gosh, no, I mean I think we've covered uh quite a nice background of it. Obviously, I think this podcast is so cool because you've been through the journey and the experience yourself, and I think that's what is really cool about this. And I love what you said at the start about it being like this 360, it's kind of like gone from yeah, obviously, what we done and then obviously back to where we are now. That's really cool, and also as a coach, that's always really fulfilling as well to see. I've actually had a few clients who have gone and changed their occupation to be able to go and do stuff that they want to do and that they want to enjoy and experience, and that's really fulfilling to be able to see as well. Is there's one inch of impact that I can have to help someone do something that they want to do, then awesome. Like that's awesome.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and you've helped a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, we're definitely getting up there now in terms of how many girls we've had through the door. So yeah, it's definitely going for sure.
SPEAKER_01And just talking about evolving, how do you see the Sochan method evolving? Are there changes? What's next?
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. Uh I've understood that obviously with the whole concept of um health and fitness. Going down the road of longevity and really going more into wellness and longevity. I think that's it's not I don't want to call it a trend, I think it's just evolution of how people are wanting to go down the road of the route now in terms of wanting to live longer, want to be more health conscious, wanting to be able to have better hormone health and a better life in general. So transformations will always be the thing that my bread and butter that I do, but there's definitely going to be more of a pivot into longevity. There's also going to be more of a pivot as I go through into wellness retreats and doing more with this. That's where I really want to go through and take people through an immersive kind of experience and actually have that impact on people and help people with that. Not to say that obviously, you know, the coaching will stop, that'll always be there, but uh be able to branch off and to really give people more of an experience. That's where I wanted to be. Because at the end of the day, online training will always be there, and online training and online coaching, you know, people will always want that and need that, and that's cool. But also, people are craving for a bit more. You can have a community and you can have an element of connectivity online, but it's very limited. And from what I've experienced, from what I've done, people absolutely want to be able to come together, experience things together, to do events and to do photo shoots together and have that connection with it. I feel that's probably where the next step would be. That's where I wanted to take it as well. Um, if I'm totally honest. So yeah, okay, that's that's hopefully fingers crossed.
SPEAKER_01I'm definitely gonna stay tuned for that.
SPEAKER_00For sure. For sure.
SPEAKER_01Dubai or Bali?
SPEAKER_00Oh, it won't, but I don't think it'll be Dubai, it'll be also Asia where or even Europe. Let's see. But for sure. Okay, for sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Keep me posted.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, of course. Of course.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00You are more than welcome. Thank you for having me as well. Um, I really do appreciate it. And um this is really cool to kind of see things grow from where it all started. It really is, and like I said, it from my side as well, it's almost like a very proud moment. So it's really, really cool. So awesome job.
SPEAKER_01And before we wrap this up, I have to say that I cannot believe that I didn't mention this at the beginning. Matt is also a very well-known and respected DJ who played at the Off Limits Music Festival in Abu Dhabi last year, sharing the stage with global artists like Ed Sheeran. And somehow we didn't even get into that. Maybe that's something we explore on another episode. Just another layer of who he is. If this conversation resonated with you, whether you're a man navigating what it means to show up with strength and authenticity, or a woman learning to trust your own voice, your own power, and your own potential, share it. Send it to someone who came to your mind while you were listening. Start a conversation because these are the conversations that shift how we live. And as always, keep showing up, keep choosing intentionally and keep soaking it all in.