You Have to Learn How Not to Be Enemy to Your Husband ( Black Women)

In this episode, we are diving deep into a difficult but necessary conversation for Black women regarding relationship dynamics, roles, and expectations. When we talk about "learning how to be an enemy to your husband," we are breaking down the psychological and behavioral shifts that disrupt peace, unity, and partnership in marriage.

We explore how cultural narratives, past traumas, and defensive guards can inadvertently position a woman against the very man she loves—and how to intentionally shift from a posture of conflict to one of powerful, aligned partnership.

If you are looking to build a stronger, more resilient marriage rooted in mutual respect and true connection, this conversation is for you.

📌 What We Cover In This Episode:

• Deconstructing the Guard: Why survival mechanisms from the past don't work in a healthy marriage.
• The "Enemy" Posture: Spotting the subtle, daily behaviors that create division instead of unity.
• Redefining Roles & Support: How to cultivate a space where both partners feel safe, respected, and valued.
• Healing & Partnership: Practical steps to shift from defense to deep, meaningful connection.

💬 Join the Conversation: What is one shift you’ve had to make in your own relationship to foster deeper unity? Let us know in the comments below!

🔔 Don't forget to Like, Comment, and Subscribe for more deep dives into leadership, relationship dynamics, and personal growth.

#MarriageAdvice #BlackRelationships #RelationshipDynamics #Partnership #GrowthMindset #LightCityChurch

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The woman of your dreams before you father children. And this works for mothers as well. There's a purse that's beyond the natural. And we cannot get so caught up in the natural that we forget the righteousness of God. Because if we forget the righteousness of God, then we'll start to create our own righteousness and let that be a substitute because you get lost. You get lost in the world, you get lost in all that you're you're you have to do on a day-to-day because of that bad decisions, it causes more and more things to be put on your plate that you have to govern over that gets you further and further away from the will of God. We have to be very careful about being self-righteous. Because in self-righteousness, all of a sudden you start to dictate what is good for your life. And what and dictate what is sin for another person's life. Not what God says is good or sinful, what you create. And then if you have the power, the ability to establish that, then you can create the own rules for yourself. I can do this because God gives me the right to do this. I can do that. I can start to step overstep bounds that God never allowed, but because of my self-righteousness and because of my situation, whatever it is, I can do these things in my own eyes. But that's not righteousness of God. And it finishes off by saying, having um and seeking to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God. You got so caught up, we get so caught up that we forget the righteousness of God. World, the world starts to reward it's something about the world, it will it will reward you fast. Well, God may take all your life to show you, and he just shows you a little bit, and he only gets you a little bit at a time, the world will give it all to you. Up front, he'll give it all to you, and it's exciting, it feels better, it sounds better, everything. People, it's something about the world is such a draw. I mean, why would he make it not a draw if he wants to destroy your life? He's gonna give you the good of the world to destroy your life. But that's not what God called. That's not what God called it. Let me give you Isaiah chapter 64. Speaking on this righteousness or unrighteousness, uh, it says in Isaiah 64, verse 6, it says, All of us have become like one, like one who is unclean. And and all our righteousness, our righteous acts are like filthy rags. Righteous acts, but they're like filthy rags to God. Because we fulfill we're not fulfilling his will, we're not fulfilling his assignment, we're not doing what he called us to do. We're doing good things, but we're not doing what he called us to do. We're talking a lot of people, we're prophesying over people, we're preaching to people, we're talking about God in front of all these people, but that's not what he called us to do because we're not in the area where he called us to be. We're not talking to the people who are assigned to be because we don't know, because we're off doing our own thing, and we create our own righteousness, and that is to our destruction. We have to be very, very careful not to get caught up in this world and and and all that it has to offer because that because hell, like Chief was saying, and the more and more you see it, there's gonna be a lot of Christians in hell. People who got saved, got on fire for God, but then all begin to wane over time and get into the wrong thing and just lose their purpose, lose their call, lose their assignment. And you have to pray that maybe God will take you early before you get so far off path that He has to send you to hell. Sometimes it may take you away far too soon. That could be a benefit because there's others who can live a lot all their life thinking they're walking in the things of God, but know they're self-righteous and doing their own thing. And meanwhile, in church every day, in church every day, doing things but so far off that from God's will, because they're living a life that God never called them to, that they don't even realize hell is at the door. He's been talking about this is such a scary thing to think there's a right hand and left hand of Jesus. Do you get the right hand of fellowship or do you get the hell? That is a very that is that is a very sobering thing.

unknown 4:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

But who did not get it right and not walk upright before God and did not fulfill the assignment, but were all doing their own thing. Don't think that being a Christian is the end of it. Coming to church every day does not get you a ticket into heaven. It's a good thing. We never want to forsake the uh the assembly, but it's not what God called us to do. Last scripture, Micah chapter six, verse eight. Micah chapter six verse eight, and it says He told you, He is God, He told you, oh man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you? But to do justice, so we're gonna have to learn what justice is and start to see how what justice is in the eyes of God, and to love and and to loving kindness. How many of us are so hateful in the church that we hate our brothers and sisters? How many of us are so hateful in the kingdom of God that we can't even forgive? We've more friends to the world than we are to the church, more comfortable going to functions of the world, but won't come in fellowship with our own brothers and sisters, aren't willing to forgive when one steps on your toes, aren't willing to forgive when one does something evil towards you, but we can forgive the world, not so. So we have to find out what loving kindness is and begin to operate in loving kindness in order to please God, not to please the world, not to please yourself, but this is a requirement. And to walk and well and to walk humbly with your God, to walk humbly with your God, because that's the only way that we can walk an upright life and to please God and make sure that we're full on the assignment that God has called us to, and not get off on our own thing, because it's one thing you can always get up on the mic and talk a lot, but is your life showing it? Is your life showing it? Are you really walking upright, or is it just a Sunday morning deal where we just talk and talk and talk and look good and sound good, but the lifestyle does not show it. So happy Father's Day to everybody. Thank you, Sister Joy, for being here on today. Thank you for that wonderful setup you did. Thank you for the man of God and your message, Chief Apostle. As you come up, I don't know. I still sitting there. Come on up here. Let's give the chief apostle as he continues on the message of the day, amen.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

He was doing a good job, wasn't he? Amen. I was enjoying that. Well, bless the Lord, and all that is within me. Bless his name. Well, lift your hands just for a moment and tell God thank you. Truly, there must be something you can thank God for. He has truly done something in your life that's worthy of praise. You spend all your time in the earth praying, but when you go into heaven, there will be no need to pray. So you may be in trouble because you don't know how to praise him. And God is a God that seeks out worship. We don't know how to praise him, we certainly don't know how to worship him. The Bible says the Father seeks such. Because there will need to there will never be a need for you to pray in forever. And so you have to begin to now practice, prepare yourself to worship and praise God. And so you can get off your knees begging, stand on your feet praising, and telling him how great he's been. Truly, then there must be something he's done for you that's worthy of praise. There must have been something he did for you today that was greater than what he did for you yesterday. Oh, we don't want to say that one no more. Woke me up this morning, started me on our way. They've been saying that since I've been saved. You see, you haven't gotten no further in your relationship with him because what he's going to do is do something so magnificent so that when you come, you'll be able to testify to the goodness of God. Every day you wake up, he should be taking you higher. Every day you wake up, he's so here so he's supposed to be giving you a greater contract. If you are doing tomorrow what you did today, you're not having a relationship that reveals to you his greatness. You have created a monument, you have created a denomination, you have created a uh tradition because you're stuck. You see, when you go and do the same thing every day, you're stuck. Because somewhere I believe he renews the contract with you every day, and it's not like a basketball contract or a football contract whereby you know what's gonna happen the next four years. His is every day, and so every day he's gonna do something tomorrow that he's never done for you before, and he's going to prove how magnificent and how great and marvelous he is. They tell me that there are hundreds of millions of angels around the throne, and they only have one word that they say, and there must be something to this word because for forever they've been saying the same thing. And one revelation and and that that we have said is can you imagine him saying something to them that is so great and so marvelous that all they can respond is by saying holy. How can you be inside of forever? And the only word you can come up with is forever is holy, and that holy does not even begin to describe the magnificence of the God you love and you say you serve. You see, when he created the heavens, he created the heavens in such a magnificent way that it defies anything you can imagine. I'm not talking about the heavens where he lived, because there is absolutely no way you're excited about that, because if you went there, you'd probably be afraid and probably wouldn't know the difference between that and hell. If you were to walk into heaven and you saw the beast that was around the throne, that's a cherubim with the wheel on its side and the eyes all over the wheels and uh and all over the beasts, you're not gonna want to be there because your fearful level will heighten because of the magnificence of a creature that is so big and so magnificent and so powerful, and it has something called one head with four faces, something you've never seen. You could never begin to describe that. You would overwhelm yourself and probably fall out and drop dead if you could die in forever. The awesomeness of forever, just watching all of the magnificence, seeing a light that is not a light, but seeing a light that is an existence, and the existence of that light does everything that you need without you needing anything, because the light is everything that you need. How can you describe something so magnificent? How about drinking water that is not physical water, but drinking water that's eternal water that you'll never thirst again? How about you understanding how he is and who he is and how magnificent his throne is? It's so magnificent, his throne is so awesome, his throne, that if you saw the magnificence and the beauty of the throne, you would just fall out under the glory of God because it's so overwhelming to see such a magnificent place where God sits down because it's so powerful. What a powerful God. You see, you don't know him, that's why you can't praise him. You don't understand him, that's why you can't give him glory. You don't you don't worship him because you don't understand him. But if you begin to go inside of forever for a moment, it will be so awesome that you will spend all day long just saying, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. There have been several people who had a taste to go into forever, and they describe what they saw that below that blows the mind of all of our imagination. Because whatever they saw, they wrote down, and even what they wrote down, we don't comprehend because we can only comprehend inside of forever. We cannot comprehend inside of uh of time because time and forever are so different and unique, you can't even begin to understand what it is like to have a beast or a creature that's around the throne of God. What is it like to have at your side something called pestilence? Pestilence in the earth realm is so deadly and so dangerous that if you touch it, it'll destroy you. But pestilence at his side is his friend that he uses to do whatever he needs done. So you need to understand how magnificent before he comes, fire has to go before him. Uh, the fire that you know is what destroys, but the fire that he knows and that he has is it represents the glory and the magnificence. How can he have fire and lightning and thunder and pestilence and all of these magnificent things around him and doing it all at the same time, whatever it is that they do, and you understand who he is. But since we don't understand how all of that works, we have an imagination and we think we know who he is, but our imagination doesn't come nowhere close because we don't understand how magnificent and marvelous he is, because what you see and what you understand it to be is not what it truly is. How can one creature come down and kill 40 some 80 something men in one night?

SPEAKER_01 16:38

How is that possible?

SPEAKER_02 16:41

What is it that you use to kill 80,000 people in one night? He's a mighty God. Could you lift your hands just for a moment? He's a magnificent God. Could you just try to imagine how magnificent if if I was to take you to the nearest star, if I was to take you to the nearest star with the fastest machine going at the speed of light, it would take you 500 years to get there. And guess what? God will be there before you even made it. Could you praise your praise the Lord? Could you just tell him for a moment, thank you? If I could just get you to the nearest star, it would take you 500 years. If you got into a ship right now and move the all the get to to to uh to to move towards the nearest star, 500 years later, you would have been dead for about 400 plus of those years, and you would have to have children with children, with children, with children, with children before you even get there. And you would have to understand that's just to get there. My God, my God, my God. If you try to come back from that place that you went, it would take another 500 years. Uh and my God, I want you to know in between the four and between the 500 years, God would be everywhere you go, and that was just to the nearest star. And you don't understand that there's stars beyond the nearest star that's so far away from us, and everywhere you go, guess who's already there before you get there, showing you the magnificence of the God that you serve. Can I just get you to lift your hands and tell him, Thank you, Kalabasa? Can I get you to just tell him thank you? Can I get you to just tell him how worthy he is, uh, how magnificent and how marvelous. Oh my god, Lindo Brisike, how my salabra, how powerful God is, the God that you don't understand, how magnificent. Could you imagine all of the water, all of the water, all of the rain that we experienced this year, this this last week, and it flooded everywhere, brother Christopher. But there's an ant in the ground who has a mansions already prepared, and all of his little babies and all his eggs down in the ground. Not one of them died, not one of them drowned, but somehow, somehow, he protected the ant in the ground. And you talk about your house, but then he didn't destroy the ant. And then soon as the rain is over, the ant comes back up and builds a mountain on top to let you know I'm still here because he understands that God created him in such a way that no amount of water can destroy him under the ground. Could I get you for a moment to lift your hands and tell God how magnificent he is, because he's so concerned about the billions of gallons and the trillions of gallons of water that passed over the ant hill. But still the ant wakes up when the rain goes down and he shows you, God, we're still here. Oh, if I wish you could just lift your hands. I wish you could just tell God, thank you. I wish you could just appreciate how magnificent He is. Why did the ant not drown? Why did the ant not die? Why did the ant come back up in your yard? And you said I got to go in that yard and kill all those ants. You don't even know what took place. God in his mercy let you know the little ant that you couldn't see somehow prepared, and while the water was on top of you, it was preparing. I was preparing him in his little house, and he was just laying back watching television while you were worried about what was gonna happen. You need to magnify God. Even the birds know to get in a safe place because they know how to weather the storm. As soon as the rain stops, they come back out singing their song, telling God, thank you, Lord, for keeping us. And you can't praise him, you can't magnify him, you can't give him glory, and you want to go to heaven, and if heaven is boring now, how could you go where you're gonna be forever when you can't take care of it right now? Oh, I wish I could get you to lift up your hearts to God, but I know it's too heavy because you're so burdened down with the affairs of life. You can't tell God, thank you. You're talking about your rent that needs to be paid and your children that need to get some clothes. You're talking about the food that you need to eat. But he says, Don't you know I take care of all of that? If you just understand who I am, if you would understand the magnificence of the Father God, you serve, or you would say all day long is to God be the glory for the grace. Things he has already done. Theophilus said he used to ask his mama, Mama, why are you always thanking God of something? But he didn't realize what God was doing for her life in her life at that time. Now he's older now. Maybe his kids could ask him, which they all spell. But maybe they could ask him what happened? How did it happen? I told you I took my two on uh 1500 Milton Street, set him on the steps just to let them know, baby, we didn't always like this. This is where we're from. And with the little smart mouth, you know who was talking. Don't bring us back over here because we ain't got nothing to do with your life. We don't know nothing about this stuff you're talking about. I just want y'all to know it didn't always, it wasn't always this good. I want you to know we used to live right here in this little two-bedroom, six children and two parents and an auntie or cousin or whoever. We all lived in this little bitty house. Y'all know about that. We lived in this little bitty place. I walked in there when I was a grown man and I looked in the closet and said, How did I fit up in the closet? How did I go underneath the sink? How did I live inside of this little space? But look at how great God has been. Could you just give him a praise? Could you just tell him thank you just for a moment? When I think about the goodness of Jesus and all that he's done for me. Can't help but tell him thank you. Thank you, Father. I wish joy that I knew how to sing. I wish I knew how to hold a note. So I have to sing by myself because maybe I'll offend your ears. But I do every day sing to him a new song. And I do my very best to try to formulate the new song to express his magnificent, marvelousness towards my life. I'm grateful and I'm thankful.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

I can look back now, Sister Willie. Fifty years.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

50 years later, I looked back and said it did happen. And I'm grateful to God that I'm still here telling God thank you. So many of my colleagues are no longer here. Can't call Mouth, can't call Clifford. The list is long now, can't call them no more. If I had a meeting, I wanted and nobody I can call to bring them down because they're not here anymore. But I'm here, and I want to tell God, thank you, Lord. I want to tell God thank you. I can remove their numbers out of my phone now because they can't come back to me. I must go to them. But for the while that I'm here, I have to give you what I know, and I have to give you the revelation that he has given me because I'm not here just to say I'm here because I need another birthday or Father's Day. I'm here to tell you what he wants me to tell you before I leave here so that I can make sure I gave you everything I was supposed to give you. The book of Proverbs, chapter 3, verse 12. I know you have a Bible or a telephone or something. You could turn to Proverbs chapter 3, verse 12. I'm gonna be a little what I'm traditionally not. I'm gonna be a little because I've been talking about the family structure that is such under attack. Do you realize that 70 plus percent of our black kids don't have a father at home? Some of them, some of us in this room did not have a father. Most of us in this room did not have a father. That's an unfortunate thing to not have heard a male's voice if you are a young lady. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, men. Let me tell you something, men. Let me tell you something, men. Before you marry a young woman who has had no father in her life, you best walk away. Because if she's not used to a male voice, when you speak to her, she's gonna get offended because that's a voice she's not used to. See, she's used to a female voice, and that voice is quiet and it's soft. That's the voice she used, she's used to. It's gonna be all right, baby. The sweet voice. She's not used to the masculine voice that is authoritative, Brother Christopher. It's an authoritative voice. It doesn't mean you know home, but it's the way he created him to be able to make sure you understand the power and the authority that God has given him to operate in the realm of your life. But you see, when you've only only had one side, that's the only side you know. And now you get married and you want that side to continue. And you and you say to your your husband, I want you to soften your tone. But maybe you should have married a woman, because guess what? If he softens his tone, he's operating outside of who he is. Somebody don't, y'all don't hear what I'm saying. You you come across too rough. No, it's not that he comes across too rough. He was made to be who he is, but since you don't understand who God created him to be, you're offended at what you got. Why you think so many of our young girls thinking they can do better by going with another girl? Let me say something to you, baby. You can't lean down with a woman and make a baby. And inside of you, your nature wants to be a mother, but you can't be a mother with another woman. You can only be a mother with a husband. Notice I say a husband. Everybody say husband. There's no reason why you should have a child unless you're married. Now, I'm not talking to heathens because heathens do whatever they want. Your friends could do what they want, but church people got to do what God says. Let me tell you that again. You have no business laying with anybody unless you're married with them. Matter of fact, can I help you even a little further? There is only one person that has rights to you, and that's the person that fit you and you fit. You could tell you got the wrong person because they don't fit you. You might be married, but the fit ain't working. Somebody help me up in here because you didn't have the understanding to know that there's somebody that fits you, but you don't have the body that fits you. You have another body that fits somebody else. So now there's going to be two people without the right body: the one that you supposed to have, and the one that the one that you supposed to have have somebody else. You see, you can tell you have the wrong body by the way you approach it. You can tell you have the wrong body by the way you communicate with it. You can tell the way that you have the wrong body by the way you you build your relationship. It's not one of peace, it's one of. Oh, somebody help me up in here. See, because when you have the right body, then you understand that body is there to protect you. That body has a responsibility. If it's the male, he's there to protect you. If it's the male, he's there to provide for you. If it's the male, he's there to cherish you. And when he knows he's got the right person, he's gonna function the right way so that he will leave you without uh leave you with the understanding that you will never be left alone. You don't have to wake up wondering whether or not that body that's next to you loves you because you will feel comfort. And even when the body is not physically next to you, you don't have to worry because you know that that's the only body that fits you. It's like the hand, the man said, if the glove don't fit, oh, y'all heard that same expression. You got to understand when you have the right body, it's going to fit. And we don't have to wonder where you're going when you leave home. Because guess what? The right body knows that he or she cannot do anything to upset the establishment of what's taking place. In the book of Proverbs, chapter three. I see y'all don't like me, but that's all right. Let me say this to you. Let me say this to you. I got a rock in case you want to throw it, you can come get it. Uh-huh. The apostle Paul said in the book of Galatians, chapter 4, verse 16, he says, preaching the truth makes you my enemy. So if you become my enemy, you need a rock, you can't take it. I got a rock right here. You can always come get it and take it. Throw it anytime you're ready. But I'm gonna tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. For whom the Lord, for whom the Lord, for whom the Lord, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I don't understand this. I don't understand this, you see, because they tell me in in America, if you do this, something's wrong with you. That's what they say in America. See, politically correct. We've gotten so far away from God in the in the in the uh in the world church world that we want to be politically correct. But America is no longer morally right. She's trying to be politically correct. How can you have somebody that don't know Jesus and never given a life to God to lead you and tell you the truth? How can you have somebody who lives any kind of immoral life tell you what's right or wrong? You see, you have to understand politics is not run by God. Politics is run by the enemy of God. Oh, I wish I was talking to somebody here today. You got to go in that thing and sit there. I've been there, I understand. You're going to do some things you ought not, you're not supposed to do. You see, in politics, we're not telling a lie, Brother Christopher. It's political. So now political is greater than God. You see, you could be a deacon Sunday morning at church and a political person that just voted something totally opposite of what you believe because it's politically correct, not morally correct. And now you're there and you have to have to come, you have a conflicting position inside of your heart. Do I do the political thing or do I do the godly thing? Here's the problem. We don't hire you as a politician to be godly. We hire you as a politician to be a political leader. We don't need a church leader as a politician. Come on in, come on in, quit acting like y'all ain't never been to church or something like that. Come on here. Who are y'all anyway? Oh, that's oh, oh, that's oh, come on, sit down. You know what to do. Come in here walking like something wrong with you. Sit on the front row next to my wife. Uh-huh. And you sit next to her, and you sit next to her. Y'all came together, so y'all must know each other. That's my bag. Just put it on the floor. Put my bag on the floor. They're walking up in it like gangsters. Yes, indeed. So you need to recognize and realize that we're living in a culture today that has moved us away from the righteousness of God. And now we're preaching what's politically correct and not morally right. And now we're saying to ourselves and our children, this is the way politics says we ought to go, and not this is the way God says we ought to go. And may I say something to you? We're setting up for the last days. Because in the last days, God says it's going to be so healthy, scalp, the so messed up that God's going to get so fed up, He's just going to come down and burn it all up. But here's the problem. So many of us who say we go to church on Sunday will be burned as well. Because we have moved away from God morally. And America is moving you away politically. May I say to you, a political person can't lead you to Christ. They don't become politicians to lead you in the Lord. They go there to make money and to pull it and bring home as much as they can. And you'll be surprised what you have to do to get some of that money. Let me say that again. You'll be surprised what you have to do. You'll be surprised what you have to say. You'll be surprised what you have to lie, but you're not lying because it's political. It's got nothing to do with church, it's political. But what you don't understand, you are lying morally, but you are telling the truth politically. And you're supposed to be the Sunday school teacher, not knowing the difference between God and politics. How many times I've had them to come up to me and say things one way and did something totally different. Unbelievable. Now we have put in so many corrupt people, and they are corrupt by nature to move us away from the things of God. So when you hear truth, simply because you're not used to buying truth, you're gonna be offended by truth, and truth will cut you, truth will hurt you, but it's still truth. We've gone so far away from truth. Now that we hear truth, it's like an alien coming to your neighborhood, into your heart to destroy you. But truth doesn't destroy you, it is the way God has set it up, and we're not walking in what God says, we're walking in what we want. For whom the Lord does what? What does he do? He corrects. Come on here, somebody. You mean to tell me you've been saved and you ain't never been corrected by God? What you believe is so righteous and you so pure and so holy that he's never ever had to correct you. I tell you my story on Duntery Street when in the night season, he'd come and beat me upside my leg, hit me upside my leg. The first night I woke up and I didn't see nobody. We had a conversation and he let me know, son, if I don't correct you, if I don't discipline you, I don't love you. Say what? You see, I never wanted to be disciplined. I tell you about my daddy, how crazy he was. He had a belt from here to uh Poland Avenue. He pulled that belt out and start swinging. No matter which way he swung, he's gonna hit something. And many times when he hits something, he said, I'm gonna knock fire. I don't know if he knocked fire from us, but I know he knocked blood out of us. Welps and blood. I sit down in the room looking at all the weps and all the bloods. Y'all ain't had that kind of daddy. And I'm like, I'm sitting there hollering about if he comes up in here, I'm gonna kill him. He better not come up in here. I need me a knife. He better not come up in there, tell me he loved me. He looked at all these weps on me. Man, I saw weps and I ain't know he hit me. I'm like, Lord, Jesus. Oh, and every time I saw something, I started crying. Then he came up in there with that little six cents of whatever he had. I took his money. Changed my heart for a moment. But I swore I wasn't gonna take his money. I wanted a knife. I was gonna get him back. Look what he did to me. But what I didn't know, he was trying to keep me out of jail. What I didn't know, he was trying to keep me out of the box. What I didn't know he was trying to make sure that I stayed on the path that he saw that I needed to go down, because I didn't understand what he had to go through, and I certainly didn't understand what I would have to go through. And when the father and I had the discussion, he said, Son, if I don't discipline you, I don't love you. And I told him, beat the hell out of me. Because I don't ever want you to stop loving me. See what America says, if you discipline your child, something's wrong with you. And we've gotten to the place where we decided not to discipline our kids because it's not politically correct, and that's the reason why our kids are dying on the streets. That's the reason why our kids are selling drugs, that's the reason why our daughters are getting pregnant without a husband. That is the reason why the family structure is so out of order because there is no voice to say to you, you ain't going nowhere tonight.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

And I mean it. Let me tell you that again.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

You know what it means when your father said you can't go somewhere? It hurts. She told me that. She could dance, everybody. I had to watch out my protection. You know how to pretty much I couldn't dance. I lean on the wall, watch everybody dance with my arms fold. But I had to stay there just to watch. Though I might get a whipping getting home, the whipping wasn't half as bad as me losing my girl. You have to understand. When daddy says he's gonna whip you, well, I got a way of getting around that. Me and Brenda would swap it. When I go out, she opened the door. When she goes out, I opened the door. That's how Ronda Lynn got here. Oh my god, I should have never let my sister leave that night, but I never would have got my niece. Amen. So thank God for my niece. Amen. Watch this. Even as a father, everybody say, even as a father, brother Christopher, what is a father when there's none at home? When is there a father when there is no voice of a male in the house to tell us what to do? See, my father was telling us all the time. What we wasn't gonna do. Mama could tell us whatever she wanted to tell us we didn't pay no mind to her. She could whip us all day. We're just gonna holler and scream and act like she's killing us. She ain't doing nothing. Poor thing. She didn't even have a clue. She wasn't whipping us. But daddy just had to say, Look at us. There was something about his voice. There was something about his presence. There was just something about the awesomeness of who God created him to be that just put fear in us. And we knew that we could get away with mama, but we certainly can't get away with daddy. And we knew that, or at least I knew that belt was so long that it was gonna hit you and pop you no matter where you was at. Daddy said, if you ever go to jail, I ain't coming to see you. So I purpose I wasn't gonna go to jail. There were some things that daddy said that he was gonna do. I'm gonna put you, he didn't say but with that other word, y'all know it. I'm gonna put you in a crocos sac. None of y'all know about no crocos sac. There's two places your crook sack, you do, you get you do. You put the croaker sack in the tub of water, or you put the crocos sac and you smoke it. Oh, I can't get no help from nobody up in here. I don't understand what a crocos sack is, don't know what he's talking about, but one thing I know he ain't gonna do that to me. Not that I had the power over him. I just made up in my rebellious mind I wasn't gonna let you put, I don't even know what a crook sac is. You're gonna put me in a crook sack and then put me in the tub of water. Does that sound like somebody that loved me? My pops came up with stuff that man needed to go to an insane asylum. But it was his way of saying to those seven sons of his, I'm not, I'm not gonna allow you to die. I'm not gonna allow you to go out on the street. You can't live no any kind of way in my. Oh, somebody help me here. You can't live. You see, with mama, we could go to mama and say, Mama, that was a way we can. And mama said, Go on now. You can go any kind of way to daddy. He's gonna look at you and say, You better bring your so-and-so back in that room, like I told you. You better not come back, you better not come back out of that room. And you're sitting like you're in an incel and uh insane, uh no, not the crazy place. This with the put you in solitary confinement. You're sitting there looking out the window, and all your friends on the streets, they hollering at you, you can come out. You know, nigga, I mean, you know I can't come out. I'm locked down. See, and mama put you in the in a room, you can sneak out. But if daddy puts you in the room, you better not leave out that room. You see, there's something about a father that's so uniquely different from a mother. That is the reason why the enemy wants to remove all the fathers from your life. You have to understand once the fathers are removed from your life, that he has access to do anything in your life that he now wants, because you see, the devil knows that he doesn't have authority over the male, even if he's drugged out, even if he's not home, even if he's been drinking, he knows he can't do nothing with him because of the power and the authority that God has given him. Because when God created that man, he says, I'm gonna put that man in my presence and I'm gonna give him everything that's in me. I'm gonna put in him. And devil, you know you cannot touch him. Even when God would call his sons together and Lucifer, the devil, not Lucifer, but Satan would show up. He had to ask permission to go to Job. You see, you have to understand your husband could be the meanest nigga in the world. He could be the devil of the house. His voice could be so overwhelming that it makes you shake. But it's best you have him there than have no one there because now the enemy is gonna use you to do his will. A woman without authority, a woman without power, without a head, without without a male is a dangerous woman. Oh, y'all don't like this because it's the truth. But I got a rock here, you could come through it anytime you want. I'm gonna tell you the truth. Not trying to be your enemy, I want to tell you the truth to help you. They're building an addition to Angola just for the black kids out of New Orleans. They need 5,000 of us. The average person in Angola comes out of this parish. Because in this parish, our black men have no father. A woman tries to raise up a young man is impossible. Let me share something with you. Once he goes inside of your womb, he knows he's a male. You don't understand that because you'll call him baby all of his existence. The worst thing you could do with a big with a male is calling what he's not. I told my wife when I found out she was pregnant, he's the man. That's why y'all call him big man. They want to call him little boy, big boy. I said, Nah, he's a man. I ain't raising a boy, I'm raising a man. And he's in charge. My wife said, he ain't in charge of me. But she didn't understand what I was saying. Because you see, I see that if I wasn't there, the male presence is greater than her presence. I'm not talking from a biblical, I mean, um a political position. I'm talking from a biblical position because the devil knows he cannot touch that male voice. He cannot touch that male, he cannot do it because he is bound by God to not touch him. So I raised him and shared with him, here's your responsibility towards your mother and your sister. Now you got two nieces. You have a responsibility. If something were to happen to me today, here is your responsibility. The covering of the family will continue to exist, though I'm not there because I prepared him to be who he is. Anybody listening? You need to understand it's an awesome responsibility. You don't train a boy by making him weak, you train it by making him strong. You say, Well, I wanted to get caught up in his feelings. He could get caught up in his feelings and get destroyed. Because it's his feelings. The little kid got caught up in when he pulled the knife out of his bag and stabbed another kid and killed the kid, and now he's got 35 years because it's his feelings. It was his feelings when you walked on his jaws and he all and he shot somebody, killed somebody over a pair of jaws, and he got caught up in his feelings. You could get a boy caught up in his feelings, it'll end them uh end him up with his himself in prison or either dead. We don't get him caught up in his feelings, Brother Christopher. We teach him how to control his emotions, how to control his feelings so he can get on. When the police officer say, put your hands on the wheel, we need you to put your hands on the wheel, son. Though he may be wrong, but he's still authority from God. God says he's authority. Yeah, he's white and he's racist. He may be racist, he may be white. I came up in a white racist church right down the street. Boy, was they racist, and they was white. And I felt all of the agony of it. But look at where I'm at today. God's been good to me. I thank God for my spiritual father. I loved him till the day he died. I sold it to him too till he died. Guess what? I didn't allow what he believed to be greater than who I am. Anybody listening? Because I had to get to the conclusion that the word of God is greater. He didn't believe that a black person could teach a white person. But I had the biggest class in the church. He came in and say, What you doing with these people? I'm trying to do what you tell me. Did he understand who I was? No. But did God understand who I was? Yes. You see, you have to understand that it's greater than your imagination. When God is preparing you to be a man, he's preparing you to be uniquely different and he's giving you power and authority. You need to teach your sons how to understand power and authority. And power and authority, Brother Christopher, don't mean you just go around telling people what to do, but you're disciplined enough to sometimes stand and take it. They told my daddy for six months, no. He walked to get a job for six months every day. The white man told him no. Now, if you told me no one time, I'm gone. I'm gonna talk about you because you're white like a dog. But you know, he kept going back. One day, the man went to my my grandfather and said, Your grand, your son-in-law still looking for a job? He said, Yeah, he said, Call him. The best thing ever happened was Long Star Cement Company that took care of us for 25, 30 years.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

My father didn't allow no to stop him.

SPEAKER_02 54:24

He didn't get caught up in his emotions. He had to walk the train tracks with two crocos sacks to find out what that was. From the St. Bernard Project all the way into the night wall to get groceries for on credit and walk the train tracks and walk all the way back home. Because he had six, seven kids he had to feed. If he didn't understand what it was meant, what it was like to be a man, we never would have made it. If he wasn't the right man for those ten children, he would have left us. And let me say something to you, as you've heard me say, those of you, but those of you who've never heard me, he deserved, he was right to leave us. But thank God he didn't leave us. And had he left us, we was going with him. We had already had our conversation. Dadily, mama, we're going with daddy, because at least we're gonna have somewhere to stay with daddy and something to eat with daddy. We don't know what we're gonna get with mama. I'm not here to dog nobody. I'm just here to tell you what we're missing. What we're missing are the men in the house. We're missing the father, not just a man, because you see, first of all, you have to be a man, which means you've been prepared by your father to be who you are. You automatically know if there's a young lady you like, you don't touch her till you marry her. Because father will tell your son, let me tell you something. Boy, don't touch that girl till you marry her. Father knows what he's talking about. Because he understands you first of all don't have the right to touch somebody else's child. And I don't have the right to raise you up to violate Mr. Jones' daughter, because Mr. Jones and I have friends, and if you go touch his daughter, you're gonna mess up a family structure. We don't have elders in the in the community no more. Daddy, Daddy, I love this boy. Daddy says, Who, him? Come here. You can't love him. Why, Daddy? Daddy could tell you the whole story, but he refuses to tell you the whole story because he already know if you marry him, what's gonna happen to you. And if you marry him, he has to watch this, daddy. You have to have the understanding to know she's coming back with more than she left with. You automatically know I got to have some extra money. You already know I got to have an extra place because I know this ain't gonna last. My daddy married my mama, he was 22.

SPEAKER_01 57:16

She was uh fifteen. Everybody told him not to marry her, she was pregnant. Everybody said, Lennon, leave her alone.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

I was on my daddy's side. My grandfather didn't want him to marry because he didn't think he was going to be the right person for her because he knew my daddy was in the barrooms with them and he ran women.

SPEAKER_01 57:55

But one day my grandfather told my daddy, son, if I'd have had a son, I would want him to be just like you.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

My daddy bought a house and got us out of the projects and out of rental position. He told his father-in-law, which was my grandfather, I bought a house.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

My grandfather said, He said, I want to come see that house.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

And I remember my grandfather sitting on the porch. We were all surprised. The opposition that he had as a man, but he stood and withstood the test of time. You don't train your son to be a man, he will never be a father. Did you get that? And mamas, let me tell you something. You can't tell. I told my grandson. He's only one, two years old, and he's learning how to use the bathroom, you know. I taught him how to put the fire out. Y'all don't know nothing about putting the fire out. So he told Lisa the other day. What he told you, Lisa? I put the fire out. Told his mama he putting the fire out. Pa Paul taught him how to do what? Put the fire out. So now guess what? He knows how to put the fire out, and everywhere he goes, he must see fire because he wanna put it out. We're outside the other day in the yard. I want to put the fire out. Go ahead, bro. Put the fire out. Ain't nobody gonna tell you nothing. Put the fire out. Just don't pee on yourself. We're gonna work on part two. Don't pee on yourself. Put the fire out, but don't pee on yourself. This morning I called. He called, I called him. I said, son, you put the fire out. Yeah, Papa. I put the fire out. Just don't pee on yourself and don't pee in the bed. Put the fire out, son. Make it uh make it some fun. Put the fire out. And I showed him how to put the fire out. Fire over there, fire over there, put the fire out. Yes, Lord. See, that's just the beginning of the things I have to teach. There are other things that I have to teach him to prepare him to be the powerful leader that he is. I'm teaching him on a baby scale now, but I'm preparing him to be a man. For the time I have left, I know I have a responsibility towards him to pour all of me in him before I leave. So that whenever he has to make a decision, it will be a righteous decision and not an emotional decision. So you don't get caught up, Brother Christopher, and have a child that he cannot be responsible for. And leave that child, abandon that child without a covering, and leave that child without a protection. And the enemy will pluck him up and pick him up and destroy him. We have a responsibility. We correct you because we love you. In the book of Proverbs, chapter uh 10, verse 1. Let's go there right fast. Proverbs 10, verse 1. Is it okay? Um let me see which closing I'm on. I ain't even on the closing yet. Somebody say, What? I get three. A wise son. What kind of son? What kind of son? Now let me say this to all you mothers. Wisdom don't come from a mother, comes from a father. You may not like it because you don't have no man around you, and you got to tell your child, it's unfortunate you don't have a man around you to help you with your sons. We have women who want to be the mother and the father. She wants to celebrate both Father Day and Mother's Day. We're out of order now. Do you see what's happening in our culture today? Uh a homosexual man and a girl want to have a family, but they don't want to be married. They just want to have a family. They want to have children, but they don't want to be connected. I wish I could cuss on a Sunday. What in the hell's going on with us today? Intelligent people, he don't even want a woman, but he didn't make babies with the woman, and he's there with the woman, but they don't have a relationship. They just sitting there floating around like some kind of dust in the sky. Two lesbians can't have children, but they'll have a baby for somebody and make that their baby. We got all kinds of stuff happening in America today that you know and I know don't make no kind of sense, and you're afraid because it's not politically correct. But as I share with you around the world, and let me say this to you, in Africa, they know what to do. In India, they know what to do. All over the world we travel, they know what to do. America is out of order. And that is the reason why we have millions of people in prison today, because we're out of order. I can tell you in the white community, it's the same, but I'm not white, I'm black. I want to see my own brothers get healed. So I minister to the whole world, but I have a cry for my own brother because they're under attack, and they're not under attack because of the devil, they're under attack because we are out of order. And when you're out of order, God can't help you. Because if your toilet said out of order, would you use it? If the science says toilet out of order, would you use it? So how could God use a family that's out of order? We have so many homosexual pastors today, it's it's out of order. You turn your boy over to a homosexual, not a pastor. And now your boy becomes a homosexual, not a man. And you love your pastor, and your son's trying to figure out how, mama, you turn me over to this man who groomed me, who touched me, who pulled me into this ungodly lifestyle. And I had to submit to him because this is what mama told her boy to do. Whatever pastor tell you what to do, brother Christopher. That's what you got to do. I remember going to a church, pastor is a homosexual, and the young man said to me, I got to listen to him because everything he's saying ain't right. This was one of those boys off the streets who knew better and knew he wasn't no man gonna go up inside of him. Looked at me and said, Pastor, I got to listen to him. I knew where he was coming from. He's your pastor, he's a homosexual, and he wants you to do something with him that he ought not be asking you to do. Of course, that runs him back into the world. And they say to hell with the church. Because now he sees preachers as men who want to sleep with children. And the pastor's lust was so strong, he wanted me to convince the little young man that that was the right thing to do. Do you know some of the most powerful leaders in the black church world today are homosexual leaders?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:53

That you all love and follow. The enemy has infiltrated our family structure.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:05

That is the reason why judgment has come upon us as a culture. We're in the most prosperous country in the world, but yet you won't be able to tell by our financial status. Chinese got less people but more money. Hispanics have been here 40 years, they got more money. You go to the Hispanic church, they pull out $100. You go to a black church, they pull out a dollar. Something is wrong. You won't even get a black person to do nothing for you today. Something's wrong. Even you don't even protect or cover your own. Our young men are crossing over and marrying the other color that you say he ought not be marrying. Because she's going to say, I'm with you. The other one's going to say, Better get out of my face. She's going to treat him like a man. You're going to treat him like a boy. She knows that some things she cannot say, you're going to say what you want to say. He's going to stay with you quietly for a while. But you better know before he left you physically, he left you mentally. And before it's over with, he will find a woman that will take care of him the way he wants to be treated. And it's amazing to me how most men are afraid to talk to their wives. Because she's going to only argue, holler, and scream. Well, she might argue, holler, and scream, but baby, I just need you to sit down for a little moment right here in this seat, and then we're going to talk when you shut your mouth up. And then I'm going to tell you what I got to say to you. Because I'm not going to let you dog me out and treat me like I don't exist or belong in this house, my house. Mrs. Don't ever walk into a woman's house that she owns. Don't marry a woman and go into her house. Let her come in your house. Be the man. Provide for her. Let her know that you're going to take care of her. We don't need her job to make it. We need to make it on our own. I never had to use my wife's signature to buy nothing. Because I told the people at the bank it don't take two signatures. You're going to use me, not her. Because if I don't pay it, you don't need to hunt her down. I'm not going to put my house up on collateral to lose my family place. I'm going to be responsible. Everybody say responsible. Say it one more time. A wise son makes a father glad. But a foolish son is what? To who? Lord have mercy. Mama's gonna cry. My brother Michael was on drugs for how many years? 20, 30. Mama got 10 children, one out in the streets. We're all at the house. She's sitting over there like something wrong with her. Because only one child ain't there. Try to figure out, woman, you got 10 of us, nine here. We already know he ain't coming. And he can't come because daddy don't want. She just worried over that one son. Like you got nine of us here. This Christmas, Easter, New Year's, whatever we all came. Why we all here and you sitting there looking like something wrong with you? Because she was worried about that one son that wasn't there. She was grieving. Daddy said he can't come back. Mama stuck him in the back in the garage. She put some food to him. Daddy said he didn't want him on the property. He stole everything. He did stupid stuff. But that was still her child. She was still responsible to take care of it. He got straight before he died, and then he died. You see, he's a heaviness. Everybody say a heaviness. I'm coming to a closer. Give me the 13th chapter, verse 1. Watch this one. Watch this one. 13th chapter, verse 1. A wise son hears his fathers. A wise son hears his fathers. A wise son hears from his father, not his mother. A wise son. Mama, let me tell you something. Tell the boy go find his daddy. Be on the corner. Well, you go over there on the corner with your daddy. See those guys on the corner? I know when I ran for office, a little drunker came to me. Hey, Rev, y'all know the story. I'm walking out the building, the church. He said, The word is whoever bumped you off can get all the drugs they want. He's drunk. He don't know what he talked about.