Ep17:🤪Wazuuuuup!🤪

Wazuuuppp! Anthony and John review the  sixth  installment of scary movie! And have a general conversation!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What's going on, guys? I am the Black Sheep, Anthony C. And I am the big John V from South Carolina, all the way to Cali. This is another edition of One Take, Real Talk on movies, games, and spoofy pop culture.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

That's right. So, guys, today we're going to do a little bit of a review, a little bit of a wandering talk, a little bit of some hot takes, maybe play some games. We got some time to kill, man. And we got a movie to review.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

So today we're talking about the one to only scary movie. Not the original part six that just came out last weekend. What do you mean? Scary movie? Or we're not talking about 2000? No, not 2000. You watch the wrong movie? No. Well, I mean, I went with the movie called Scary Movie. Did I watch the wrong movie? Hey man, you know we live in a time where you gotta name at least one of your sequels the same as their original movie.

unknown 1:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Okay, well. Don't be surprised. Don't be surprised we get a movie called Terminators. I'm sorry, guys. I fucked up. It was my fault.

unknown 1:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I fucked up bad. I'm sorry, Anthony. If you believe that, I got a I got Oceanfront property in Montana Point. Oh. Okay, well shit. I mean, damn. Shouldn't have to rub salt in the moon. But um, but yeah, John saw this movie what, Saturday or Sunday? I want to say Saturday, because I saw Master Sunday. And I saw it on Friday. And but we we're just gonna jump into it. So there won't be any spoilers, but we will hand at certain things. And you know, spoiler-free review here for you. The movie isn't even a week old yet. But uh Sean, what'd you so give me some of your takeaways, man? It was fine. Okay. I think that is the best way to explain this movie is it was fine. Okay. And and and to say that comes with two things. One it's fine in the sense of I wouldn't necessarily say there's anything wrong with this movie. But considering it's supposed to be the weigh-ins big, intense, mega return. It's kind of underwhelming. Yeah, there's a reason I don't have my uh review on TikTok up yet. And some movies come along and you just don't have the words, especially when you have so much anticipation for a certain film. Because John, I'll tell you, out of us two, I was the most anticipated. I had this I had the most anticipation for this movie. And I left the movie theater and I was a little underwhelmed. I was a little upset. John, I'll tell you, I was a little disappointed, right? John, I mean, that's an understatement. I mean, let me let me give a little context here, guys. I'm not huge on spoofs, like just in general. I don't I don't find spoof movies all that funny. And Anthony and me were talking, and he was like, I know it's gonna be a great movie because it's got a 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's right. Plot twist. It yeah. Yeah, Anthony calls me and says, John, I think you're I think I'm disappointed. Yeah. I mean, and and let me clarify why disappointed.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Not that I thought this was a bad movie, not that I didn't have, not that I wasn't, I was not entertained.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

I was expecting something different. I was expecting a little more edgy, a little more the movie felt too safe. It felt too safe. And I hear people say, well, it's just a long SNL skit. Have you not seen a scary movie? Which is a long SNL skit, yes. I mean, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

But like, I do feel like there's a lot of pieces in here that were shoehorned. And a lot of things they showed in the trailer, like the uh Keenan scene with a reference to Michael Jackson and whatever, but everybody keeps calling it a Michael Jackson, but it's not. It's a Jermaine. It pokes fun at Jermaine Jackson not being Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

And it you can tell it's one of those things they just shoehorn in here at the last minute. You know. I wish I wish it was a little more edgier.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

I wish it did, it felt a it felt a little like, and I hate saying this. No, I it felt a little like boomer humor.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Yeah. I I agree with that. And not the good boomer humor.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

It it felt like it felt like that one uncle that had that one joke and just couldn't let it go. And he tells it all the time. You feel me?

SPEAKER_01 5:35

So he started grasping his straws and poking fun at certain people just to keep up the laughs. And it some the laughs that hit hit for me. And I was entertained, but there's some scenes in here, and I'm just like, bro, what were we, where was this going? Why did why is this here? You know, and not played for stupid, but just like just didn't make sense. It just didn't make sense. Yeah, there was that, and I also found myself at quite a few points, kind of bored. I I ain't right considering this movie's oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I was saying, like, right before the third act, I I caught myself a little boring.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Yeah, like, you know, what what's like what caught me off guard is this movie's like a clean hour and a half. I was watching it and I'm like, damn, like, is it is it still going? Yeah. On an hour and a half movie? Yeah. That's bad. You could tell they had, you could tell this should have been, and I hate to say it, an hour and like 15-minute movie, but yeah, they just didn't know what to do with the rest of the stuff. Now I'll tell you something else. A lot of the damn, the damn uh uh the at the end, the damn what's it called, man? I'm going off tired brain, dude. Where the bloopers, a lot of the bloopers that they use at the end of this movie could have gone in here. And it would have been better than some of the stuff they used in here. Yeah, I I'd be, I would like to see a director's cut of this movie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

All right, so let's just get let's get it feel like we're banging on banging on his head, the head of this movie and giving it a hard time. But okay, give me some of your bright spots. I mean, whether it be an actor, you could talk about a certain scene or a certain reference.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Okay, I think Marlon Wayne's Anna Ferris and Regina Hall really do capture the same energy as the original movie. I think they're bringing it in. I think they've got a good connection to everything that's going on. I think it's like I think their chemistry is still there. And I'm I might steal this from you. You uh have a different opinion about one of these things. The the opening, 10-ish minutes, I was pretty entertained. The ending, like 1520, I was having a blast.

unknown 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I'm gonna slide into you. Oh, and I thought Naruto on that Naruto shit was pretty fucking funny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

All right, so I think, of course, Marlon, I was expecting Marlon to do his thing. He does. The standout from the OGs is of Jeannie Hall. And she's always been Brenda has always been my favorite character through all through the first four-ish, because I don't really care for the scary movies. So seeing Brenda come back, because she's like the most recurring character, like right there with Cindy.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

I thought she's literally a joke that he gets got every time. Yeah. But dude, she's literally my favorite character in all of the scary movies.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Anna Ferris as Cindy slides right back in here, just like Nev Campbell. Not talking about Screen Six, but like Nev Campbell coming back as Sidney Prescott, like Jamie Lee Curtis coming back as Lori Strodes, you know, Linda Hamilton coming back as Sarah Connor. I think this is her, this is that role for her, which is, I mean, which is like, oh my God, I can't believe you're comparing to that. But that's that type of role this is for her. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 9:44

I mean, this is also her breakout role, if I'm wrong. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is that role for her. You know what I mean? But I think out of the, out of everybody, even though I didn't think this person was crazy funny, but how crazy it is that she is like, I could buy her as the character. Olivia Rose Keegan fucking playing's daughter, Cindy's daughter, like, dude, uncanny, unfucking candy. Like, that's crazy. Like, if she they could have told me that's that's Anna Ferris's daughter, I'd believe him. You know, she, I don't know why, but when the movie initially started, I was like, is that Maya Hawk for the first like 10 seconds? And then it started going, and I was like, this is not Maya Hawk. Who is this? And yeah, she does a great job. She's she's got really the only thing with her is unfortunately, I guess we're just gonna have to keep bashing this movie's head in, since everything unfortunately comes with a caveat. She um she's a lot less funny than she should be. I mean, but I think the thing I the thing I feel about the new cast, I feel like the new cast tries too hard. And it comes off as trying too hard. That makes sense. Yeah, I I think they I think a lot of them, specifically the love interest.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah, I mean, but um and but like I said, I it just comes off as trying a little too hard. And I mean, maybe it's by design, maybe not. I don't know, man. But yeah, man, the things let's talk about the things I loved about this movie. There's a few scenes in here that caught me off guard and made me laugh.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Especially, I love the third act in this. I love this third act. Yeah, this third act is fantastic. Yeah, third act in this movie is dope. Third act is dope. Scenes at the hospital are dope. Shout out to Kim Wayans. I think the the hospital scenes are dope, they're funny. Officer Doofy didn't think we needed him, but I enjoyed him. I thought, I thought Reed, you know, Reed got myself there. I th I think some of the jokes they tell with him are are super fun. Yeah. I think some of it gets bogged down by a lot of the problem that this movie has is it feels like, you know how you said it feels safe? Yeah, it feels real safe. I think the best way I can explain it is it doesn't ever feel like it's it's willing to really cross that line. And and and for, and this is my biggest gripe, for a movie that was supposed to be crossing that line and never does. It doesn't, I don't think it comes close. The tagline says, the tagline says, Nobody is safe, every line will be crossed. Yeah, and I don't think I I'm being real. For something that's supposed to be playing in the streets, you never left your front porch. Yeah, certainly not like they said they would. No, and then and like that's the only thing, that's the thing that made me the most disappointed.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

You know, and and like I said, there's nothing too crazy in the first two scary movies. If you if you go back and look, there's nothing really too crazy about them.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

But uh, one thing I will say that about those compared to this, and and I know it's crazy to say about a excuse me, there's is to say about a spoof movie. The narratives in the first two movies felt a lot stronger than right here. Well, part of the thing is the other two have a like they have a continual through line. Yeah. This movie felt like it lost the through line at multiple points. Yeah. And then just like I felt like they were just trying to pump out reference after reference.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

And you didn't need to like scrolling on TikTok, it really was. It and I mean I get, and and I'm gonna tell you something like this, though. Maybe that's the genius of this movie because of what the what the age we're in.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

You know what I'm saying? And serotonin, baby. Yeah, I mean, just because of the age and people's short attention spans, maybe that's what it was meant to do, honestly. There's there's a point, right? Like, and the and you see this in the trailer, like they make a streamer joke, right? They make some streamer jokes. Shout out to Cassanette, too. Shout out to Cassinette. Cassinette. For the little bit that he's in this movie, he he does pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

I ain't gonna lie to you. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Yeah, I was caught off guard. I was like, oh shit, you can act. Yeah, it's a little bit. Like, not crazy good, but. Yeah, he did pretty good. I ain't gonna lie, he did pretty good. I like that. I like that scene. I did, I did like this. Yeah. I know we were talking a little bit. Uh, how do you feel about Ghostface being back? I mean, I loved it. That's what sold me on this movie. Like, you're going back to the original, and you know what I mean, and and hey, you bring it back a classic. But yeah, I'd say that's fair. I'll tell you what, though, I love the self-awareness of this movie. Yeah, I like the the tongue-in-cheek of there's a joke made in the third act towards certain actors. Yeah, and in the the movies of the past, like it means, like I said, I love the third act of this movie.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

I love how self-aware this movie is. I mean, like, talking to you maybe, you know what I'm saying, maybe opening my eyes to what this movie was trying to accomplish, dude, because you can't look at this movie like a film.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

And I I know that sucks, and I know that sounds stupid, but like if you look at this, it's a movie.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah, it's a movie. It is. And and and and and I believe what Marlon Wayans was trying to do, and I think he accomplished it, and we just too stupid to realize it. So now, to talking to you, this plays like TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah, dude, it is. Like, I that's the first time I said it out loud. Yeah, but everybody, everybody says like SNL, and I'm like, sorta, kinda, but SNL doesn't have a continuous thing. This felt like my algorithm, algorithm got stuck by the same person's channel, and we just kept following it. Yeah, like because it does just keep going. A lot of the same. What'd you say? Oh, you went out. You went out for a second. Oh, I said it does just keep going. I think a lot of the same jokes are very similar. Yeah. And I also think, like, if you're really, really, really, really, really gonna look at it in a vacuum, where the movie I think strengthens itself is when it's not trying to be funny. Yeah, I mean, but that's that's the case with a lot of stuff, too, though. Go ahead. Yeah, but I was gonna say, like, it feels like the f the original movies don't ever feel like they're trying to be funny. Yeah. The majority of this movie feels like they're trying to be funny.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Yeah, I mean, like, it's just like I said, man, when you try so hard, you're you're gonna come off as like you're coming off as a tryhard.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

And then I feel like that's where this movie drives itself. It's just like very, very, very, very try-hardish. It is. But like I said, I was entertained. I was, I was entertained.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

I was, I mean, I chuckled here or there. And John tell John will tell you something in order to get a laugh out of me, you gotta be, you gotta be fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Yeah, you gotta be as funny as me.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

But it's just, like I said, there's some lines in here that I wish, you know, could have been left out. Like, I love to get out references. I love to get out references.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Scratch up a chair, that's funny. I'm talking about the two get-out references that we got. Oh, oh, the other one. The other one. Yeah, yeah, I thought that was funny as shit. I thought that one was funny as hell. It's like some of the non-horror stuff they reference here. Yeah. Right? I mean, it is something scary movie is notorious for, is it's not always scary movies. Yeah. I like the demon, the demon hunter reference. Yeah, that was funny.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

I heard a lot of people, I heard a lot of people hating on that that spot.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

So I thought that scene was hilarious. I like I ain't gonna lie to you. I like the terrifier reference. The terrifier reference was fine. I think it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

I liked it better than I like terrifier.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Yeah, we do. Boy, when we get to those movies, buddy. But uh But uh yeah, man, I like the terrifier references. I felt like one center references, one center reference could have been done better. I love the church scene, though. Church scene was just very stupid. It just kept going. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it just went on for a little too long, but like, yeah, it just so stupid. That's where it is. But I love go ahead. I was like, and then I will say, when it comes down to like when the movie's funny, yeah, I do think it is funny. But again, it's just the this is the Wayne's return. My I'm gonna tell you mine, and I'm gonna I want you to go for yours next. My favorite scene was when Sydney first met back up with Brenda. I'm not gonna, you know what I'm saying, spoil anything. When Cindy first met up with Brenda and something accidentally happened, that was funny to me. Mine would probably be, because that scene is funny. Um probably I I like there's a a reference to a non-horror movie in the third act that is funnier than hell. Okay. Or no, no, I take that back. Literally, the last like five minutes of the movie. See, I'm trying to steer away from the third act. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to steer away from the third act.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Stay if I'm steering away from the third act.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yeah, because we, you know, we say we glazed the third act couldn't know. I'm trying to point out stuff in the movie that I like.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

You know what I'm saying? Um, in the movie that I thought were funny, the the arrest scene was pretty funny. But I felt like I saw the joke coming, and that kind of hurt it. So probably. I like the um I like the damn uh damn I'm trying to figure out how to word it because I ain't trying to spoil it. The delivery scene. Oh that shit was dumb as hell. That was like, what the fuck? That shit I was. That shit was dumb as hell. I don't know if I have another favorite. Maybe the uh I'm gonna say this joke was I thought this joke was funny. How do I word this? The reuniting scene between Doofy.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

That was funny. I thought that was. That happened right after the scene I'm talking about. Yeah, because I will I was trying not to use that scene because I looked at it. But yeah, they'll Oh, oh, you know what? No what? The COVID scene. That's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit was stupid. Nah, oh, theme park scene. Eh, whatever. I like the reference, is what I'm saying. Yeah, but but I think the problem with this movie is so much of it's forgettable. Yeah, but like I said, I gotta rewatch it. But John, we're gonna get off a scary movie. What do you give? What do you give this movie? Originally I gave it a six. Okay. I think I gotta go 4.5. A 4.5? Think I gotta go 4.5. Yeah, you can get it. If I'm not counting the final act.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Dude, we're talking about the whole movie. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Oh, and then like five.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Yeah, so what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Nah man, this movie is easily a good seven. I think it's a good seven. Six and a half seven, I think it's solid. I think it's a solid spoof movie. Let me let me again be fair. I am just not a big fan of this genre.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yeah, I think for the culture it's coming for, and I think it's a solid seven. Originally I had it like a six, 5.56, and then like the more I sat with it, took away my disappointment, and just enjoyed it for what it was.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Yeah, you had fun with it, John. What do you mean? Yeah, but then like after I left the theater, I just was like, eh.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yeah. But uh, I'm gonna give it a solid seven. I'm gonna give it a solid seven. If you follow me on TikTok, you know I do the flames. I would give this a solid two flames. I wouldn't run to go see it.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Like, if you guys don't know about my flames, the flames is the urgency you should go see it. That that's basically what my flames are for. And I give it a solid two flames. I wouldn't run to go see it if I if if it didn't mean that much to me. Wait for it to come out on stream, and it's damn sure gonna be on Paramount Plus.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

But yeah, the I mean I think I think, like I said, I think it's a solid seven for a spoof. For a spoofed movie, I think it's a solid seven. To be fair, scary movie one to me is like a solid nine, scary movie two, like an eight eight point five.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

You get what I'm saying? I'm grading it on spoof movie levels. Yeah, like the the if I'm if I compare it to its contemporaries, this is what I'd give it. Yeah. Yeah, I I still think I gotta go five. Yeah, I mean even even comparing it to its contemporaries. But what do you have the contemporaries at? I mean, I think the the first two scary movies are some of the few spoofs I like. I have them both at like eight or nine.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah, I mean, if you say so. I mean, I said, I I mean, like, I don't know. I mean, I mean, when's the last time you watched them?

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I said, like, hey, they're on them um, they're on fandango, sir. You need something to reference. They are fandangoing. Yeah, but uh yeah, man. I th I th I think it's fair to give this movie a seven. 6.57. I think that's like fair. Excuse me. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, like, that's that's about where I'd fall on it. But uh, but yeah, guys, we're gonna that's uh that that ends the review portion. Me and John are gonna just talk about some shit and then go from there, you know what I mean. Well shit, I mean mine was at like three o'clock or something. What about yours? TMI, brother, TMI. Oh, is that not what we were talking about? No, sir. But anyway, I I something been on my brain I wanted to ask you this week. Um Leonardo versus Zorro versus Innosuke. Hold on, I had it, hold on, I had it so I had it here. Hold on, give me one second. Yeah, Leonardo, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Leonardo, Zorro, Innosuke, Samurai Jack. Who's coming out alive? This is just pure swordsmanship? Pure swordsmanship, who's coming out alive? Gotta go to Zorro. I don't think so. Like, well, Samurai Jack is about to say, I it's gotta be Samurai Jack, bro. I don't know, man. Zoro have a beat. I ain't gonna lie. I don't think Zorro's beating Samurai Jack. I love Zorro. I do, but I don't think he's beating Samurai Jack. Defeats that Samurai Jack has done. Bro. So who do you think? I mean who do you think Google would say? Might be samurai Jack. I'm starting to think about who he fought. Because he threw down with with Aku. I know this is just pure swordsmanship, but that does matter. Alright, so I'm putting in Samurai Jack versus Roanora Zoro. Here we go. Let's see who wins. Zorro versus Dak. This is the real fight. Monster level strength, hockey, three swords style for Zorro. Feats like Cutting Mountains, Giants upon Giant Opponents, and surviving the absurd. The problem is Jack's speed and agility are often portrayed as even crazier. Jack has defeated armies of robots by himself. I mean, Zoro's defeated armies by himself.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

He has fought supernatural monsters, demons, assassins, and gods, reacts to attacks that are often portrayed at near light speed levels, can battle for days without tiring, possesses a magic sword specifically designed to kill evil beings.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

So it says four times out of ten, Zoro wins. Six times out of ten. Six times out of ten, Jack wins. I don't think that's insane, though. I'm not I'm not mad at that take. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

I think I think there's definitely I think I think it's a slight edge, even though I I love Zoro, but dude, the things I seen samurai Jack do as a kid.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

Oh, yeah. I mean, it it is one of those things. And then it's like I'd also go the extra mile and probably say when it comes down to it, Zorro would benefit from better swords fights. Yeah. Um, I know you guys haven't got like Anthony has not gotten there, but Zorro is a swordsman. Some of his fights are a little lacking. I mean, my hot take is I ain't gonna say my hot take. I don't want to lose food viewers, the few viewers that we have. I mean, guys, we we got a whole we got we got a whole video coming up on this because Anthony's finally pass the point that we can do it. Yeah. But let this be a little foreshadowing for what's to come. So what he's saying is we're gonna do a one-piece episode to see where I'm at and how I feel about the show. But um, but yeah, man. Yeah, I think samurai Zach. I think Samurai Jack got that one. It's not by much, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

But I think I think honestly, I hate to say it, Leo falls around three. It's between Leo and Inosuke. Who do you think falls first?

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Oh, dude, Inosuke. I mean, we're going off swordsmanship. We're going off who they are as a swordsman. Enosuke doesn't really have swordsmanship in the future. He's just brutality. Yeah, he's just gonna have to be a brutality. He's a fucking honey badger if you made him a Hashira. Yeah. I'll say I think and then Leo falls because he can't keep up with his strength and speed. Yeah, he's he's just even if we go equal stats, I don't even know if it's gonna help. Because I don't know if Leo's got that killing intent like they do. Yeah. Let me be fair. Let me be fair. When Leo's on it, Leo's on it. Yeah. But that's that's a lot. I think that'd be a little too much supernatural for one turtle to handle. Yeah. All right. What you got for me? Okay. So restart one piece today at.5 speed. You cannot watch a single other piece of media or foregoing any other form of entertainment until you're done. You cannot skip the filler for one million dollars or get punched in the face. Oh my god, this guy. By Connor McGregor wearing razor wire. Am I getting to pay regardless? Yo, can you hear me? You only get paid if you do the one piece. I'm only getting paid if I do one piece. Yeah. So I'm in the Connor McGregor punched me once for free. Yes. Then I'm watching the wire. Then I'm watching One Piece. At point five speed. And you can't skip the filler from episode one. Yeah, just punch me. That's what I said. Yeah, yeah, just point, just punch me in my face. There we go. Yeah. I ain't gonna lie to you if I do the same shit. Yeah, just fucking one clean punch across the face. Yeah, I'll I get stitches and shit. I'm good. Alright. Daredevil, Nightwing, or Ronin. Specifically Hawkeye Ronin. In a three-way fight. Gotta go to my boy. Poor Daredevil's out. And I'll tell you why. Both of them have super sound-based weaponry, which is gonna fuck up our men. And number then. This fight's a little bit closer. This like this is another like 60-40 split here. But gotta go to my boy Nightwing. I don't think Nightwing wins this. I unfortunately don't see Ronin making out of it against a fight, who's just worse Deathstroke. I don't know, man. That's this I don't know, bro. I don't know. I'm not saying Nightwing can't win this because obviously he's the protege of the greatest detective. Greatest ninja ever made. Yeah. But Ronan is more than just Night than Deathstroke, bro. You're right. He is more than Death Stroke. But he got a lot of things. Let's see what chat says this. Damn. Never mind. You're right. Seven times out of ten, Nightwing wins. Yeah, he's just worse death stroke. Like, look, I don't want to down Hawkeye. I'm not saying it's impossible for him to pull out the W. Yeah. But it's gonna be hard for him to pull the W out against someone who is a better fighter than him. Yeah. Has fought the set, like, because this basically just like, what happened if we gave Deathstroke Green Arrow's marksmanship? And he's beaten Green Arrow. Yeah. So that's that's how I'd have to describe it. I mean, that'd be a tough ass fight. I ain't gonna lie to you. That's fair. I fight me balls to the fucking wall. Yeah, I g I I like both of those. I like both of those. All right, all right. Let's see what I can pull out here. Okay. You are given the rights to Batman. But you are now required to bring back Batf as Batman. You get the budget you need to make any Batman story into the movie you want. But your budget is only You said you just told me I got the budget to make whatever I want. You're good. You're good. But you have to cast the worst possible catwoman and Alfred. Wait a minute. So I gotta I so I don't get Jeremy John, Jeremy John, Jeremy John Irons, Jeremy Irons is Alfred again. No. Your new Alfred is like Jesse Eisenberg with a limb. I mean, do I have do I get a choice to who I get to pick as Alfred? Oh no, no, no. Alfred and Catwoman are out of your call. And they are bad. Like, this is the like top five worst comic book. Well, well, we only gonna have I'll tell you like this. We're only gonna have one scene with Alfred, and Alfred gets sick, and he's down for the rest of the movie. Okay, Catwoman or hold up before before we go there. Or same thing, okay? You get the rights, you get the budget you need, and you get to remake Samuel L. Jackson movie with prime Samuel L. Jackson. But you have to rewrite the ending to whatever Samuel L. Jackson movie you pick to be bad, and you can't use John Travolta in any of them. I mean they only have like one or two movies. 17 movies together? Yeah, you're right. No, they don't have that many movies together. Yeah, like 17, bro. No, they don't. But yeah. What do you pick? I'm doing the Samuel Jackson movie. Okay, now what Samuel Jackson movie are you picking? Uh let's do. I mean, I don't care for John Triculture in I'll tell you, I don't think they have that many movies together. But uh I gotta make the ending bad, right? Yes. Like we're talking like people are walking out of the fucking theater throwing popcorn buckets at the TV and the employees. I'm going glass. Can't get no worse. It's gonna get the same reaction it got in the first place. And drowning a guy in a puddle. Yeah, fuck everything. I don't even know him. I can make it worse. Yeah, you can make it worse. Go ahead. You can make it worse. I'm gonna have them, I'm gonna have them take, I'ma have Bruce Bruce, before the big fight, right? I'm gonna have Bruce's character die by drinking a glass of water. Oh. And fucking Samuel L. Jackson L.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

No, no, Samuel L. Jackson, Samuel L. Jackson falls out of bed that morning and miraculously. No, no, and he he miraculously becomes invincible.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

No explanation. No explanation. No explanation either. That's stupid as fuck. And then then I have my boy, what's his fucking name? He plays the beast. Fuck. Did I tell you? Oh, uh, not Jeremy. Yeah, damn it. I can't think of his fucking name either. Guys, if you want to know, it's like it's like 3 a.m. It's like 3 a.m. in the morning. Yeah, well, we're both a little tired here. Yeah. James McAvoy. James McAvoy. Yeah, James McAlmoor. And then I'm gonna have James McAvoy do Buffalo Bill, the whole finish. Except do a refresh of Buffalo Bill. Oh. It puts the lotion on the skin. Unless it gets the hose again. And then the ending, James McAlboy gets so mad, he just explodes. In the movie, in the movie, in the movie, and the movie ends with Samuel Jackson in a padded room laughing. Just this screen of him just laughing. It's like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, what happened? It ends. And then I'm gonna end it with 2B continued. And never put another movie out. Damn. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's pretty atrocious. I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_00 43:30

Yeah, I know. I mean, hey, you gave me these fucked up scenarios. I mean, it wasn't really. There was no there was no weight here.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

I'm just saying, there was no weight here. I thought I thought the worst cast of Alfred and Bat and Catwoman were a little bit closer for that.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Nah, man, because I wasn't gonna do nothing but book Sasha Bear Corbin as fucking Batman and book uh Remy Malik as Catwoman.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Why ready man? He said the worst possible cat woman.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

There's no sex appeal there. There's no acting skill there. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

He has acting skill, bro. He's not that bad. Listen. Steve from Blues Clues had acting skills. He could do a better job. That is a ludicrous statement, bro. Rami Malik is better than Steve from Blues Clues. Bullshit, because Steve from Blues Clues made me feel something. Rami Malik made you feel something. Hate. Yeah, hate, motherfucker. It ain't my fault. The boy can't act for shit. But he can't act, bro. He can't act. This dude cannot fucking act, bro. I'm sorry. You say what you want. Show me a depth, show me a display of Remy Malik acting good. Or well. There is none. It doesn't exist. Mr. Robot. That's exactly what he acts like. My fucking Siri has more fucking characterisma than this motherfucker. Guys, I've never seen someone dislike that actor more than he dislikes Raimi Malik. The big father fucked Remy Malik. That's all I'm saying. Fuck Remy Malik. You can tell him I said. I've never seen a man truly have distaste for an actor. As much as this man can't fucking stand Remy Malik. I'm gonna tell you like this. Remy Malik could be announced to play in the Batman 2 outboycott the whole fucking boot. Damn, dog. Real shit. Won't partake in none of it. I'm about to say, what did Remy Malik do to you, but he portrayed one of the best fucking vocalists ever in a in a unworthy way and got remotely he got a fucking participation trophy for it. Oh, I mean, like, you know, man, he did great. We got two definitions of fucking the word great. I don't know, man. I don't know. I know. But anyway, so you either have to get rid of everything Spider-Man or everything Star Wars. Which one are you doing? Spider-Man. You're getting rid of Spider-Man? Spider-Man. You're getting rid of Spider-Man for Star Wars. For Star Wars? Get the fuck out of here. Star Wars Spider-Man on percentage alone, Spider-Man has better movies. Cool, Spider-Man. That's crazy. Dumb as hell. Hey man. Alright. You have to get rid of everything Tarantino. Or everything. Let's see. Look. See, John can't. John John had to think about. Everything Robert De Niro. Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

I mean, so technically, if I get rid of everything Robert De Niro, then I have to get rid of Jackie Brown, which would be, which is a technicality because I got rid of a Tarantino move by default.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Yes. So I would have to say get rid of everything Tarantino because I still need good fellas.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

I still need Godfather 2. I still need them Meet the Parents and Meet the Falkers.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Yeah, yeah, I gotta get rid of everything Tarantino. All right. Damn. Okay. You can only say one. Okay. Okay. Robert Pattinson as Batman. Tom Holland as Superman. I mean Spider Man. Or trying to think of this last one. Or I know he don't stand a chance. Benedict Cumberbatch is Doctor Strange. Oh, that's easy. Tom Holland. You're saving Tom Holland? Yeah, best live action Slender Man. I thought you were gonna save them Barbara Patton, of course. Battinson? Nah, man, I can't say Battinson, he only got one movie. Right? The shit you always be like, yeah, man, he only got one movie for the fucking Batman argument. That's right. Okay, all right, I got you. Would he rather every movie accidentally get spoiled right before the ending? Or the big plot twist or whatever else? Or have every movie you walk into, you won't be able to ever not see like, okay, if you want to go see a movie, right? If you don't show up on time to watch the previews, you can never watch a movie in the theaters again. Then I'll just take that option because I show up super fucking early. I learned my lesson from weapons. I thought that was gonna be closer for you. Nah, nah. I hate spoilers. You know this. It is. He does hate spoilers. Yeah, I hate spoilers. I can only give him so much. Yeah. Alright. Who's a better MC? Luffy? Baki. I don't know if you watch Baki, right? Yeah, I watch Baki. Alright. Conjuro. Or Goku. I'll tell you who it's not. It ain't no fucking Baki. It ain't no worse pace than fucking One Piece. That's shit's worse pace than One Piece. That's not even me making that shit up. Yeah, damn. Baki is slow. Baki is slow as hell. Bro, Baki is like, what the fuck? But I gotta say Goku, man. Alright. He's too important. Okay. So I'm gonna double down because you have to think about shit. Okay, we're gonna start with Goku. Goku or Luke Skywalker.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

I will let everyone explode. Martians got the lasers pointed at the earth, and I gotta pick. I will I will just let them. No, you gotta pick. This is this is a game we're playing. Goku or Lou Skywalker. Goku. Alright. Goku or Tom Holler Spider-Man. Goku. Goku or Doki. Doku. Oh. Goku. Okay. Goku or Tanjiro. Goku. Goku or Darth Vader. Goku. Okay. Goku or Miles Morales. Specifically into the Spider-Verse Miles Morales. Goku, man. Alright, Goku or Kratos. Goku, man. You talk about one of my top five like fictional characters. Yeah, I don't know. Goku or Gone, whatever his name is from Hunter Hunter. Goku. Goku or Levi. Goku. Okay. Goku or Naruto. Goku. Is Goku the greatest fictional character ever created? No, Thorfinn exists. Huh? Thorfinn. Who the hell's that? From Ven Monsaga, baby. Hey, I didn't know, but hey, you know what I'm saying? Thorfinn may be one of the best fiction like pieces of literature ever written. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 53:59

Go ahead. Okay. Let's go Batman or Mr. Glass. Batman. Let's go Batman or the T-800. Batman. Batman or Tanjiro. Batman. Batman or Kratos. Batman. Batman? Or John Marston. Batman. The fuck? Batman or Arthur Morgan? Batman. Not by hey. Ain't you gonna lie? That hurt me to say it. I love Arthur Morgan, but Batman. All right, Batman.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Or Batman. Batman.

SPEAKER_01 55:04

Or let's go. Gotta pull a good one here. Francis Corleone. Batman. Vito Corleone. Batman.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 55:33

Or right, all right, all right, all right. Just give up. It's Batman. I got I got one more. I got one more, okay? I got one more. Go ahead and play dirty. Carl Lee Haley. Batman. Damn. Fuck.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

What the fuck you mean? Hey, I thought you were gonna go somewhere and you didn't go there, thank God. But anyway, my turn.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

Is Batman the greatest fictional character ever written? Fucking hey, he is. You have no one else over Batman? No. Oh, wait, I got I got one I gotta ask you real quick. What's that? LeBron James. Oh, what? What about it? Or Batman. Batman, the fuck. I'll take Superman over LeBron. The fuck you mean? Well, you know, LeBron one of the strongest people ever written. Yeah, anyway. All right. I mean, hey, Batman can't beat Steven Segal. Okay. Cloud or Leon. Ah, well. Probably. Probably Cloud, but that's close. Okay. Yeah, no problem. I need you to say the name. I think Cloud. Okay. Cloud or try. I'm trying to think what the hell you play, dude. Okay, you or Pikachu. Oh, Cloud. Okay. Cloud or Master Chief? Cloud. Cloud or Dante. Dante. Dante or Kratos. Dante. Okay. Dante or Yu-Gi-Oh! Dante. Okay. Dante or the main character from Forced Unleashed. I don't know. I forgot his name. Oh, Starkiller? Dante.

unknown 57:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:57

Okay. Dante or trying to think of what else you like. Oh, Dante or Crash Bandicoot. Dante. Dante or Spyro. Dante. Dante or Mario. Dante. Dante. I know you'd be like, fuck, but Dante or Goku? Goku. Goku or Sora. Goku. Whoa. That hurt that man to say that shit. He didn't think about it. That's crazy work. I want him to put a Lego block in his shoe like that. That's crazy work. He didn't think about it. Fuck. Damn, you took Goku over Sora? I can I can't believe that shit.

unknown 59:02

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

I love them both, man.

SPEAKER_00 59:05

Yeah, I got you. I got you. I got you. Yeah, I ain't dude. I ain't even gonna lie. I felt bad saying it.

SPEAKER_01 59:13

So I'm gonna let you live, okay? I'm gonna let you live. I need to go say that the devils. Samuel Jackson or Batman. Batman? The fuck are you talking about? Like, what the fuck? Alright, you deleted all of Samuel Jackson's career.

SPEAKER_00 59:25

That's what you need to dead, bitch. That's fine, but I still got hey, I still got the Dark Knight there or returns. That's all I'm saying. Fuck you, bitch. But Batman. He's mad as hell now. He's mad. He's mad as a bitch. He's bad as a bitch. Batman or the Witcher 3.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

Batman, bro. It's one game versus like 80 years, bruh. Batman or Tom Chicro? Batman, we already said that. He already said that shit. You know what? Batman or Captain Planet? Batman. Batman or Tommy? Tommy who? Fickles? Tommy. Oh, Green Rain? Green Rain. Oh, Batman. Alright. Bro, nobody beats Batman, bro. Yeah, I don't know why. I'm gonna find something. Hey, there's one card I'm surprised you haven't pulled, though. I'm gonna shut the fuck up because I'm not giving it to you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

But anyway, I'll tell you when I'll tell you when we whenever we get ready to sign off.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

Oh far if I remember it. If you remember it, but maybe. I mean, that'd be the only thing to make me struggle. Oh, Batman or Simba. Batman. Oh. Batman or Scarface? Batman. Dude, he's trying so hard. He's trying so fucking hard, bro. Guys, I dude, I know Batman is his like favorite fictional character ever. Yeah, like it's Batman, bro. It's Batman, dude. I'm sorry. Alright. My turn. Alright. Courage or Ed, Ed, and Eddie. Courage. Courage or Johnny Bravo. Courage. Courage or codename kids next door. Um this is pretty close. Um I think I'm gonna go. I think I'm gonna go courage. I think. Okay. I don't think I need to answer. I think courage. Okay. Courage or cow and chicken. I'm I don't know why I spaced out on the right. Oh yeah, courage. Courage or adventure time. Gotta go adventure time. Adventure time or Dexter's Lab. Adventure time. Adventure time or Rick and Morty. I don't think Rick and Morty's all that good. All right. Adventure time. Alright. Adventure time or Steven Universe. Adventure time. Adventure time or regular show. Okay. If I was a kid, I would have said adventure time. As an adult, it's gotta be regular show. Okay. Regular show or fosters, or whatever. I forgot the name of the show. Regular show. Okay. Is regular show. Oh no, no, I got one more. Regular show or PowerPoint Girls? Regular show. Is Regular Show the greatest cartoon network show of all time? I don't know. Teen Titans exists. I forgot about Teen Titans. I forgot about Team Titans. I forgot about Team Titans. Yeah, I don't know. Team Titans exists, man. I was about to say, I f I I knew I was spacing out somewhere, and I just couldn't remember where. If this was like earlier in the night, I would have had it, but like I spaced out on it. So is Teen Titans the bit? Is Team Titans the I'd probably say Teen Titans? I would say it would it is, so all right, alright. This nigga will say Batman by shit, what the fuck? Jimmy Neutron or Fairly Odd Parents. That's close to what you think. I gotta go fairly odd parents. If you want to feel old, fairly odd parents is 25 years old, by the way. I know. But go ahead. Fairly odd parents or the Thundermans? Fairly odd parents. Fairly odd parents or Zoe 101. Fairly odd parents. Like, why do you give me this shit? Fairly odd parents or the legend of Korra? Fairly odd parents. Fairly odd parents or Keenan and Kel. Keenan and Kale. Keenan and Kel or Drake and Josh. Keenan and Kale. Keenan and Kaley. Keenan and Kale and Drake and Josh are literally living single and friends, if you ever didn't, if you want to know how I feel about that. But I enjoy Drake and Josh better than friends. But anyway, go ahead. So Drake and Josh or Keenan and Kale? No, Keenan and Kale. Keenan and Kill. All day, every day. Keenan and Kel or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012. Kenan and Kell. Keenan and Kel or iCarly? Kenan and Kale by fucking light year. Keenan and Kel or Victorious. Keenan and fucking Kel. I don't even know why you even let these things come out your mouth. Kenan and Kel or Doug? Kenan and Kel. Keenan and Kel or Danny Phantom. Keenan and Kel. Keenan and Kel or hey Arnold. Fuck you. Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you, bitch. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:25

Ah, I love Arnold. I love Arnold, dude. I love Gerald.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:30

Gerald is probably my favorite side character in Nickelodeon history outside of. Because Keenan Nikel are. But I'm going to Kenyon Nikel. Kenan and Keenan Nikel or SpongeBob? Kenan Nikel. Keenan Nikel or Avatar the Last Airbender.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:49

Avatar Last Airbender is the greatest cartoon on Nickelodeon. I would say. I would say I would like to. I don't even really think it's close, if we're being fair. Yeah. I mean, the only thing that would rival it would be Rugrats. That's the only thing that would rival it. I ain't saying it's better than it, but it's. If you asked younger me, it'd be Rugrats.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:11

Older me, it'd be Avatar, but I'm going Kenyon Nikel. Alright. Is Keenan Nikel the greatest Nickelodeon show of all time? Yes, it is. Damn. I didn't expect it to pull out the one. I really didn't. I mean, outside of all that, this elephant because after they left all that, all that slump. So yeah, it's Keenan Nikale, bro. Okay, this is my Nikale Arnold. I thought hey Arnold.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:41

Dude, I ain't think a lot. My top three, Avatar is not even in my top three, because like I'm not even a huge Avatar fan. You get what I'm saying? My top three cartoons would be Hey Arnold, it'd be Rugrats and Invader Zim.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:58

Those are my top three. And Invader Zim isn't even the best of the best. I just enjoy Invader Zim.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:05

And but I would go Keenan and Kale is probably the best live action show that they've done. And then you got Drake and Josh behind it, all that. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:20

But Keenan Kale paved the way. If it wasn't for Keenan and Kill wouldn't be no Drake and Josh. Yeah. I can't be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:31

But think about these guys had a movie, then went and did that. They did Good Burger and then they did that. So like they made they made it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:42

But yeah, they're but um yeah, I think I think we're gonna leave it there because uh you you you're getting a little too close to home for me. Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Good Burger. Yeah, you're hitting a little order. You're hitting a little too close to fucking home for me right now, man. Alright, alright. Fair enough, fair enough. Well, guys, it was a pleasure. As always. Hold on, man. Yes, always a pleasure, gang. Always a pleasure. Before we get up out of here, if you ever wondered where John could have took it, he forgot one fictional character that might fight rival Batman for me. I can't believe he didn't think of it. But anyway, guys, that has that guys, this has been another episode of One Take Real Talk, and it was all in one take. One one shot. And one Press of the Saiyan short.