One Second by How to be Second

Origin Story, First Sight - One Second by How to be Second

• Nathan Young

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Who is Mondo? In this episode of One Second, Nathan and Mondo swap origin stories, from tech trailblazer to “Jesus Walk,” from family business grind to healthy mentorship, and tackle a big question: Is it always love at first sight between a First and a Second?

 It’s a conversation about sparks, trust, and the work it takes to cross the “chasm” between where you are and who you could be. 

If you want more like this, subscribe or find more on Howtobesecond.com

This is One Second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities where we're exploring how we're different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at How to be Second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is what we call a natural 1iC, or a Visionary. Enjoy. 

If you want more like this, subscribe or find more on Howtobesecond.com

This is One Second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities where we're exploring how we're different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at How to be Second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is what we call a natural 1iC, or a Visionary. Enjoy.

Nathan:

Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to Be Second, and this is One second, A conversation between two people with wildly different identities where we're exploring how we're different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at H two B two. I am a second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is what we call a natural OneIC. Enjoy. First question actually came from somebody who listened to the pilot episode, and they were like, yo, this is awesome. Who is Mondo? And they're like, can you give us like some, like some origin stories or something? Like, we got right into it right away, which was great, but like, I don't know this person. Can you, can they tell their story? And so Mondo. Can you tell us like your origin story, like what's your superhero origin story?

Mondo:

Oh yeah, man, that's funny. Quick story about two lives. Let's just say, when you and I met, it was the black tech guy season, so there was a season in my life from about 2010 to 2022. Where I like stumbled into technology and I was like, oh, I wanna build this big billion dollar company and all that good stuff. But part of my mission was inspiring black and brown folks to get into tech because in 2010, here in the Twin Cities, it was a minute community. and so there was just something that spoke to my heart to like, that Jackie Robinson here. be that story. And so for a little over a decade, I championed that seat, but I championed that seat and I just always like hit my head on said ceiling. And there was a lot of reasons why I kept hitting my hit on that C ceiling, but probably the most. Transparent reason is I wanted to work with a certain team that made my story feel like a dope story,

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

and I'll be like, like use real, like old mano language. I felt very uncomfortable being the black dude all white dudes. Because they had money or they had resources.

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

And so there was just something about that story that I was like, nah, I'll continue to defer until I find the right squad, right sequence of events. And honestly, like I was never able to scale because I now know, like I didn't have the right people in the right seats. I needed more. Masters, more ACEs

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

certain seats to do things that I didn't know how to do. uh, that's a long way of saying I was a black tech guy for many years. had a rocket ship. Leave the atmosphere, but it definitely left the ground plenty of times.

Nathan:

Yeah,

Mondo:

then I met Nathan. What year was that?

Nathan:

2021.

Mondo:

ish. Yeah. And so 2021, I was like, oh, I found the one guy, right? Like, like, you know, I've been looking for this team to start and working on a bunch of different people on and off, come and go. And then I was like, oh yeah, you're definitely the one guy that I'm looking for. We had a great sprint. I learned a lot. I knew that we were gonna come full circle, but then like my, my God moment hit and then I left it all. I felt like God tapped me on the shoulder and was like, I need you for something else. so I shed my home car, closed business, bank accounts, all the stuff, and then went on a three year journey from 2022 to 2025, we are. And so there's a whole deeper story there. No need to go into that, but yeah, that's the old mano black tech guy. Jesus Walk three year transition season. Now, here I am, our Armando Charles Davison, ready for what's next.

Nathan:

having lived through some of this story with you, hearing it in summary, I'm like. This is a crazy story. It's like reading the back cover of your own biography and looking at it like in bullet points and being like, damn, that's crazy.

Mondo:

Yeah, that's good. That, that's a good story. And man, and you know me man, there's just something about story that has always resonated with me and, and I just always wanted to be like, yo, I want a really good story. Not knowing that it was going to require this up and down loopy loop, rollercoaster of an adventure. But, uh, here we are, so.

Nathan:

what's the thing before that? So like, you've always been this person that you are. So you were trying to craft the story. You knew that you wanted to shape things like, but this is all business context. So like you were the black tech guy, but then give me a, like a little bit of a picture of like, where did the Black Tech guy come from? Who was Bondo before? Like, this is one character that you've said in your story, this is a thing that you've done, but then how did you gimme a second on how you made that transition from whoever you were right before that?

Mondo:

I have a lot of language around this now, and honestly, this is gonna sound like. to therapy or something like it's a therapy session, but just like, oh, like that's so real. So like there was a moment where I took a step back and I started looking at all the major superheroes and I started looking at their origin story and I was like, well, they all experienced trauma.

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

Like literally, you know, Spider-Man, uncle Ben dying, Batman, his parents dying. Superman's an orphan from another planet, like everybody has this. Imbalance in their maternal and is it fraternal, uh, balance. And so I started to look at like superheroes as like symbolic examples of an imbalance in those relationships. Whatever that looks like. so for me, early on, my mom passed away in a tragic motorcycle accent when I was 10 years old. And so my dad, amazing. Perfect human, very Alfred esque, actually. Like he did all the stuff. And so I never looked at myself as Batman growing up. I actually looked at myself as Superman because like my memory was white from birth to 10. It was like how my. Mind handled trauma

Nathan:

Yeah.

Mondo:

Jason born like, and so from 10 to literally, I say 37, I was really on like this Jason born journey, like trying to find myself. And so part of my. Conditioning or the story that I told myself, whether it was subconscious or conscious, was never experience that type of trauma again.

Nathan:

Mm-hmm.

Mondo:

And so I was always on some like do the biggest thing, the boldest thing, save the world, save community, do all the stuff. So I always just had that, you call it OneIC energy that go above and beyond buzz lightyear to whatever. Right? I always had that. it was the thing that made me feel safe,

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

Just that superhero indestructible thing. what I learned the last three years actually was, had to surrender that,

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

that shield that I was carrying, that super energy that I was carrying was blocking me from. The best experiences in life to like be open, to have more faith, to allow things to flow through me as opposed to having to fight through every challenge. And so honestly, uh, the story before the Black Tech guy was. Literally trying to conquer the world or conquer NBA or conquer the biggest whatever, whatever the biggest thing was. It was all about conquering that thing now life is just the exact opposite of that, and it's just like, all right, how can I serve and service looks different than it did the first 37 years of my life?

Nathan:

again, every time you tell your story in sum, I'm like. This dude has a wild, like there's a couple of things that you said in there that I wanna, like, you were like, oh, this is gonna be a lot more like therapy and just been struck over the last few years that so much of what is the best is just therapy, like who we are and that like the work of. Self is so hard. And something else that you're saying that also, uh, Samantha, my wife said recently is like the difference between where you are and where you could be or where you are and where you were, feels really like a short distance. It's not very far away. You can sort of see it and the chasm in between is so deep and often. Dark and difficult, and you are often traveling that alone. And so it looks like from an outside perspective. On a, like a horizontal perspective, you'd be looking at a person and then 30 feet across another person and it's the same person in two places in time, and you're just like, it's not that far away. And it's like, yeah, but you don't understand. This is a mile deep

Mondo:

Yeah.

Nathan:

hole in the ground that I had to travel through for myself to get from here to here. And so once again, I'm just kind of, I'm kind of confirmed at this point that like everything is therapy. Yes.

Mondo:

Really though, really

Nathan:

So.

Mondo:

a self discovery process. So then I'm okay. Then I'm curious then, Is there an origin esque story or breakthrough story where Nathan went from this pillar, jumped over the chasm, or climbed down and went through to get to a next pillar? Like what's a key story or season that you'd be open to share?

Nathan:

Yeah, I don't know if he's interested in this, but I'm actually gonna tell a story about my brother. I'll anchor it to my family in general. I've worked for a lot of people in my life and I've done a lot of jobs, but, I grew up in a family business. My dad was, none of the things that we talk about. He wasn't like a big crazy dreamer person. He wasn't a planner, he wasn't a mastermind, whatever. He was a guy who could get up every day and do the stuff and he. Owned, uh, this tiny little business. And his whole family revolved around the fact that he owned this tiny little business he ran his family that way, right? Like my dad was my boss more than he was ever my father. So like I grew up in that mode and all of the lessons that I learned were, caught, not taught, so to speak. And what I learned was like, I don't know, things are hard, be tenacious, blah, blah, blah. And most of the time I learned that you had to, I learned a lot of like gruff independence, and I learned a lot of my plan, which was how I was taught is how, once again taught by like catching on, not taught by like explicit, I worked for a lot of people over the course of my life, and then eventually I remember working for my brother, one of my brothers. I have a couple, having this moment where I, I was at the end of like a hundred hour work week. I, I worked construction. I was living in my car. I had like, I was at fully at the end of my rope, and then I was finishing up like a 24 hour work day. In a, in a, like a rest area, it's like a hundred degrees outside. It's not conditioned, it's not whatever. You're grinding stone. I've been at this place for a full 24 hours, like awake, onsite, whatever. Uh, I've showered the last time I showered in the YMCA because I don't have a place to live, but I'm making a shit load of money. I mean. Like I was union at the time, so I mean, like I was making a, you know, union wages, drive, pays all this stuff. I just didn't have a life. I remember like leaving the site and letting him know that I was gonna leave the site and him just like losing his shit. And I quit that. I didn't even tell anybody. I just quit and I left and I. Um, I went home to my parents' house, which I hadn't been back to for, I don't know, at, at that point. Um, and I like didn't, I didn't come out of the basement for like days and I was just trying to recover from what had just happened, and it set me off on this journey of like, what does it actually mean to like, be good at these things? If this is what this looks like, because I was serving the person who was like the. He was making the plan, he had the answers, he had the whatever, and the, and so like I had done that, I had followed all of that advice and I was like, well, that, that's not cool. Like, I didn't have any answers. It just had sort of like a bucket being poured out at the time of being like, this is fundamentally broken. Something about this is not going to work. Not because it wasn't, and this is the worst part, not because it wasn't working yet from a business perspective. We did the work, we got the job, we did the job, we got paid. So like clearly it worked, but I was like, I'm a broken human so this doesn't work. At some point this stops working, or at least it stops working for me. that started like the transition time of me being like, hang on, like. It can't just be all command and control and systems purely, and there's gotta be something else here. And there has to be a way to serve, to honor what my instincts want me to do. And that is to serve. I, I want the ideas, I want the thing to chase after I want to create something in the world and I wanna help a team do that and I wanna in wherever I'm at. But there's gotta be some different way. from there, started taking different jobs, started doing consulting on my own independently. Started trying to be my own boss. Planted a church at a different place. Started going to a church. Became like, you know, I joined a team, started leading a tech team. Just worked my way back to that position. But that was like really a, pivotal. Time for me that I think about was I spent a full weekend in silence in the dark broken, like just laying in bed being like, none of this is right.

Mondo:

Yeah. Dang. See, so here we go. Learning about each other, because I didn't know this story, right?

Nathan:

Yeah.

Mondo:

We're, we're gonna, this is, this is, this is gonna be really good. You know, just wanna say that out loud. My follow up question to like, I don't know, I don't wanna say like bookended, but like, uh. A chapter, is there a defining season or moment or experience where then you discovered fulfillment or discovered like, yeah, this is it. This is how this is at least supposed to start to try to work in this direction.

Nathan:

Yeah, I got lots of little things along the way, but I really harken back to this relationships I had, uh, with a guy named Bill McElhaney and another guy named Chip Mattis. And they were mentors, father figures, uh, practically brothers, right? Like they filled a lot of different roles in my life. But, I spent years with those guys, like serving and yeah, there were parts of those relationships that drove me in crazy. And I can look back on now and be like, that wasn't great. Like, and I, and I don't even think we have fantastic relationships now. I mean, I think we have acceptable relationships now. But life is long. So who knows what will happen over the next 40 years, spending time with those people, I, and I really think that, that, that Bill McElhaney was the first natural one I see that I got to be in a really healthy relationship with. I looked up to him. He had these crazy ideas. It was very clear to me where I stood in the team. He respected not just the work that I did, but me as a person. that didn't center in who we were as. As individuals, it centered in who we were as sons and daughters of of God, right? Like I, we shared a core identity and that was we're, we're fellow kids here in this bigger family. and we had a shared mission. How do we love and care for people in a way that's like that knowing that we're incapable. And so like, how do we amalgamate that to the best? And so like there was this vision beyond what could possibly be something I came up with. I had a leader who was willing to walk the walk in being a loving, caring person and bringing you alongside them even though they had no fucking plan and sort of like to pretend that they had a plan. They did not have a plan. And, uh, and, and right there was so much, uh, consternation there. And eventually that did not go well. Like, to be fair, um, but. It went great for years and my relationship, like, I think it didn't go well once they started disrespecting those relationships. Like they just lost the plot. You know what I'm saying? Like they didn't have a plan. Sure. But they had the plot, but then they lost the plot.

Mondo:

Yeah.

Nathan:

that idea of like, I started to recognize what this thing could be when I got into that relationship and like, I'll never forget Mac for that and I'll always appreciate him and I'll always appreciate Chip.'cause Chip I think really was the second in the story and I was learning what that could be. And they had that relationship before I got there. And so like, I got to watch, I got to be part of it and I got to see it modeled. In this haphazard volunteer, nobody's making any money. Like sort of like, you know, like there was no equity in sale and whatever. Like we were showing up at 6:30 AM on Sunday morning every single week. And we were practicing late at night'cause we were playing music and we were like, we were going, moving people from house to house and like we were building crap in garages and we were just doing the stuff of volunteering in a city that we were trying to care about. And like that's how I learned, oh, this can be really good.

Mondo:

Hmm.

Nathan:

I don't know if anyone would expect me to tell that story except maybe my wife, but,

Mondo:

That's good. And the thing that I almost busted out laughing was when you were like, he didn't have a plan. And I'm like, well, his plan was that way

Nathan:

right. Yes. He was so clear and nothing else.

Mondo:

Yeah, if you guys wanna put more color on this plan, go for it. But I just, I know it's that way, so,

Nathan:

That's right. Oh my God. And we did put color on it and it worked

Mondo:

yeah. I.

Nathan:

he trusted us to do that. And uh, we didn't see that that way at the time, but That's hilarious. Yeah, absolutely. He was like, Hey, that way.

Mondo:

Oh man. That's good. Okay. All right. What? What we got next? That was a good setup. That was a good origin setup. It.

Nathan:

I really enjoyed that. Our next one is, the question is, is it love at first sight? Is it always love at first sight? Little context when we talk about this idea of like first in command, second in command. You and I met and it was like, oh, that guy. And the question is, is it always that way? Has it always been that way? Have you ever had a relationship like this before? Where it, in your personal experience, have you watched others, uh, do it this way? What's your narrative on, like, how would you react to this question? Is it always love at first sight with the first and second in command with this natural sort of like OneIC second personality or identity? what's your take on that?

Mondo:

because I have. I tried on a lot of different relationships of humans who I thought was that TwoIC or that I didn't have the language back then,

Nathan:

Yeah.

Mondo:

every other person that I tried to put in that seat, it was like, you're a really cool human. I like how this dynamic could unfold, but there was a different type of spark. When you and I connected, and even if I was with one of those other humans at the time that you and I met, I would have immediately been like, you're in the wrong seat to that other person. I just found the guy, and so I don't want to say. Hey, if you don't have that spark, don't connect with that person because like they still may be instrumental in the team, right? But there was something so volcanic in connection that I was just like, oh, I know for sure And like the thing that really sticks out. On just a very practical tactical outside of just you and I when you showed me, and I always bring this up, that like business matrix and like audience, you would just have to see it, If you imagine like going to Disney World and they say like, yo, there's like a whole city underneath Disney World on how like it all kind of flows together and things happen and you can't see it. I saw that matrix of business stuff, I was like, yo, that's what they have under Disney World.

Nathan:

Mm-hmm.

Mondo:

And I was just like, there is absolutely no way. I would try to almost. Want to create this diagram, would it bring me any joy. so this person just has it ready in his tool belt. And so I was just like, everything that he has, I do not have. And there has to be a way for this peanut butter and jelly sandwich to work. And I was just dedicated to like try to figure that out. And so here we are. Um, but I mean, you wrote a whole book about seconds. And so you have a little bit more insight on those nuances. So like how has it shown up for you for like that connection? Is it a spark, is it love at first sight or is it something else?

Nathan:

this came up over the last, the course of the last couple weeks, and I intentionally have like, put it outta my mind so that I could try to react to it as faithfully as possible. And I was, I like to speak from what I have done, not what I would do, right? So even telling the story about Mac, like I wanted to spend time with Mac like almost instantly. And when you and I met, I was like, like I've said this. I was like, that person, I'm gonna hang out with that person. Like I, I want to know who that person is. At the same time, I do think this is relationships and so like, I wanna be careful to be like, look, when I met my wife, right? We met online and then we met in a bar and I remember sitting down and being like. Yep, I'm interested. And at the, so on some level, like yes, I do think it is the little bit that way it can be that way, but I also have, oh yeah,

Mondo:

did you say Yep out loud

Nathan:

no, no.

Mondo:

for some reason, I don't know, I just see you sitting there like, yep, this is gonna be a thing. Just wanna let you know right away.

Nathan:

I have done that. I have friendships in my life where one of my best friends, Mason, I looked at him and his brother. We were all just like hanging out And I was like, Hey, you guys, I don't know if you guys know this, but like, hey, we're friends now and, uh, b we're gonna start hanging out like on a regular basis. Like, like I let them know what the plan was in order to start.

Mondo:

Okay.

Nathan:

And like 11 years later, this person is like one of my best friends. Like we've, we've been in multiple businesses together. I've gotten them several jobs. We, like, we still chat every now and then, like, so anyway, uh, I have done that,

Mondo:

Okay. All right. Had to ask'cause that would be a good story for me to ask Samantha, like, how'd that go when he said that? So anyways, go ahead.

Nathan:

but I do also have lots of relationships in my life that I've built over. Um. Tony Tickner, actually one of our friends, is a great example of like, We talk on a regular basis multiple times a week. IWI like, there was not a connection there at all. There was like an opposite connection, right? It's like seeing yourself in a mirror and being like, ah, like I was so nervous about what he thought of me and I was so like. oh, this person doesn't like me and like, this is frustrating. And like I was trying to figure'em out and it was all very confusing and there was a lot of work that went into that. And so. Is it always love at first sight? And I think the answer is definitively no. And I don't think it can always be love at first sight.'cause a lot of the times, the one I see in a second are finding each other in a professional atmosphere and like there is shit to get done. It doesn't matter kind of whether you like each other. Like even back to my story earlier about like living in my car, like the business was working. I clearly, it was working, it was destroying me as a person, but it was working And so like there is a certain amount of table stakes to this and like you do need to do the work of relationship. And I think that's the other thing of like in this is not just for myself, but in so many other conversations with seconds, it can be that like instant connection. And in our work of doing matchmaking,'cause we do matchmaking, which is like a professional, it's like recruiting, but we're trying to re reset the incentives because of what we're talking about. And so we call it matchmaking'cause it is, we go about it in that way where we're like, no, you're gonna go and you're gonna meet this person. You're not gonna have a connection unless there's a, all the professional table stakes have been met. But then like, what are we doing? Are we trying to figure out that they're gonna be good for the three year strategic plan? Whatever thing. No, we're gonna make you go bowling together. Like this isn't a panel interview. maybe you can do that later if you need to. This is coffee. This is hang out with this person for three hours for the afternoon and see if you guys vibe and. It's working and the reason it's working is because on some level, yes, I do think it can be love at first sight, but I also think that it is getting to actually genuinely know another person who isn't like you. And sometimes that can be shocking and startling and like not a great thing. And then in you invest to the work which you have to do to have a good relationship over the long term anyway. It's not like. Like, yeah, I still wake up every day and look at Samantha and I'm like, yep. But also a lot of that comes from the emotional, uh, connection that we've developed over the work, the real hard work of 10 years of marriage and kids and relationship and like showing up every day to. Do the stuff with each other and like, not letting that same page alignment go and like having conversations on a regular basis, having conversations about direction and what we're trying to achieve in our lives and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so like, you gotta put in the work, even if it is that exciting time, and even if it's not the exciting moment, right, at the way you can put in the work, and it can be a wonderful relationship. So that's, that's a lot of unpacking that. But that's what I've experienced and what I've seen in this question.

Mondo:

No, that, I mean, it was really good. It, it really had me thinking about. Kind of that self identity Now, I'm not thinking about and seconds, I'm thinking about more intimate, romantic relationships. But it's like you, you date somebody long enough to like go through certain experiences to some choices about who you are

Nathan:

Yeah.

Mondo:

grow into this next version of yourself. And it's possible that. You two make the same choices to stay aligned and you just continue to grow and grow and grow, and then 20 years later you're still together. But then there are also plenty of stories where it's like you get to that inflection point and boop,

Nathan:

Mm-hmm.

Mondo:

make different decisions and you want to grow into different humans. And that doesn't mean that it doesn't come back, right? But I think about that first and second now, just like both have to be true. You might just have that person that is, you two are both unhealthy enough. All right. I, I, I tell this story. So like, I worked in the elementary school in St. Paul, um, 2010 to like 2006 or something, and we had the most amazing teachers in St. Paul, period. I'd say in, Minnesota. We were just all. Vested had great leadership and all this stuff. in reflection, looking back, were all ridiculously unhealthy as humans

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

like everybody was. An X-Men that needed Professor X to like find the healthier version of ourself. But like when it came to getting the job done and like showing up and showing up for each other and making sure nobody else fell like we were there for each other. and so a couple weeks ago I had. Lunch with just one of the awesome teachers from way back then, and we kind of talked about it like, ah, yeah, like in that season we all leaned on each other, but looking at ourselves now, we're definitely much healthier. even if we came back together, how different it would be because there's just certain things that like we just wouldn't show up with, with our own stuff. And so I, I would say for anybody listening, man, there's so much about. Discovering the best version of yourself going through those therapy reflective sessions, rather it's with somebody else or with your partner or whatever. Because there's so much ick that we have to release, I believe, until God's like, all right, here's the seat that I'm gonna put the two healthiest humans in. Right, because I need two healthy humans in this seat because for whatever reason, like they can't fail because of that reason, right? They can make a whole bunch of mistakes, but it can't be,'cause they can't shoulder it because they're unhealthy. so there's just something very important for me, like Mondo become the healthiest version of your. So God's like, I can't put you there'cause like you still have to give up alcohol or you still have to quit chasing women, or you still have to quit whatever. Like all these like unhealthy behaviors that I was doing for many years, like I had to surrender them. So.

Nathan:

Uh, yeah, I, I want to say one I like you mentioned like whoever's listening and I went Oh, right. An audience. Like, I, I just become fully invested in you and I were having a conversation. I was like, oh, right, we're recording a thing. Um, I hope that comes off well. I like, uh, I wanna throw this other idea out there of like, hmm. This is going to happen a lot. Not, I don't mean this conversation to me, forgetting that we're recording for an audience that's gonna happen every single time. What I mean is, I think in both of our answers, even to the, even the core of the question, right? Is it always like, you know, are you gonna come together right at the, at the very beginning? Is this, is there gonna be a big spark or whatever? We're talking so much about relationship and like if you're hunting for a job,'cause you haven't had work for six months, like this is not in your. Mental space of like, I, you're like, I don't, I don't give a shit who hires me. I need a job. I need to feed my family. I have, you know, like I have my priorities and I kind of, what I'm getting at is like, this is gonna come up. Everything is therapy. Like you're, what you don't realize is if you're not on the line, if you're trying to take one of these roles, if you're trying to be. Frankly, I think if you're a second in general, you're gonna bring all of yourself to whatever place you get hired, whatever thing that you are choosing to serve, you are going to bring all of yourself, and that is going to include running into this relationship work. It's going to happen. You cannot avoid it no matter how much you think you're can be like, I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna execute on my stuff. And then we're just gonna like have the baseline work professionally. And this is never gonna trip over into the personal shit. Wrong. You are wrong like it's going to. And if you're not prepared for that, if you're not willing to lean into that, if you haven't started doing some work self, like you're gonna trip over that.

Mondo:

Yeah.

Nathan:

It, it's coming. It's, it's part of it like.

Mondo:

For somebody that's like, all right, from a second vantage point, and this is gonna be very, like, this is just Nathan's response right now for a person that's like, Nathan, I really trust you and today your word is gospel to me. Uh, I hear what you're saying and I know that that is me, and I haven't leaned in to myself in the way that I should. But I don't know how to even start, like, like how would you guide that person to just start? What is that first step?

Nathan:

You just asked me the hardest question, just how I think of it. I think of this entire experience as like a pool, like what you just said is this person is poolside. They see us swimming around, they're like, I'm interested. I, I want to know how, maybe I'm listening to this podcast, I have a toe in the water. Pretty sure this is feeling like me. The water seems right. How do I, how do I get it? At least in the shallow end. And I think I, my answers are gonna be very tactical at first, and then I think, but. First of all, this shit is a chasm like we mentioned earlier. Like it feels like it's just from here to there. It's not, this is gonna be hard in ways you can't expect not to scare you. But the second thing is like, so a couple of like really tactical ways are go to how to be second.com. There's an assessment button, right? Take our assessment. It's not definitive proof, but it exists. it's just another, we like to call it a hand on the elephant. Like it's, you know, it's, it's just one more tiny little spot of who you all of you might be. Um, so it's indicative and helpful and, and, and I think it's a, a whole foot or a whole leg in the water of exploring self. Take a couple other personality assessments that's very much in like that shallow end, like, just understand yourself a little better. That's what this is. It's understanding self and then. Like pick some characters that you resonate with, right? Like, think about the questions that even Mondo and I have been an, uh, asking and answering each other, and that's like, what are the best relationships you've been in? What are the kinds of like superheroes that you seem to be, you know, like I, in the, in the story of the Bible, I was very attracted to the character Joseph, who becomes like the second in command. Literally that's what it says, second in command to the Pharaoh of Egypt. And like he does all of this stuff. And I was always like, oh, I resonate with that character So that would be like very shallow end. And then of course, like you just join our email list. I talk about this shit all the time. And so like we have a lot of dip your toe in the water and get into the shallow end thing. And then if you wanna go harder into that, then get some floaties, man, because like then we get into it, like join the meetup and read the book and the whatever. And then you do the real hard stuff after that. So anyway, but if you want to dip your toe in the water, um, those are kind of my tactical answers, but my zoom out answer is, this is a chasm. It's not. Some of this is gonna be wonky. Like,

Mondo:

One that for you to be like, that's a hard question. And then for you to be like, here's 17 different things. Let me pass out these cars. That's really good. So you, you were well equipped.

Nathan:

thanks. Thanks. Oh yeah. That's my version of not well equipped.

Mondo:

Hey, that is so good that because that's way better than that way.

Nathan:

Yeah.

Mondo:

which way is that?

Nathan:

Uh, maybe less inspiring than that way. I kind of like, I kind of am inspired by that way. I'm like, oh yeah, I'll figure it out. We'll make our plan. I I don't think you meant that as a setup to like end the conversation, but let me turn it back'cause it was so good. And that is, if they're more cur, if they're curious about like, well, mano, what do they do? What do you do? And what, how can a person like connect with you? And why, why would they, and what are they gonna get if they do like, lay it out.

Mondo:

Yeah, I mean, one of the things that I felt like I've been called to do is talk to the younger version of myself, there is something about our. Ego that doesn't allow us to go to therapy or really have a guide that we're like, we trust this person all the way. And it's always somebody who is far reaching, somebody super successful, somebody out there that we're aspiring to be, right. so knowing that I'm talking to another version of myself. I know that I just have to challenge you to do the thing that you know you're supposed to do. like thing that we carry is we carry a lot of vices.

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

Whatever that vice is, we already know.'cause somebody already told us a hundred times what it is. And so the call to action is, make a commitment and release that vice. And when I say release it, it's make a commitment and then go nine months that vice, right? Like you're giving birth to a new version of yourself. you can go nine months with 100% all in energy because we're really good at that, then at the end of that nine months you're gonna be like, that was dope. It was hard. A whole bunch of things came at me trying to like get me to go back to that vice, but like now that I got here and I see how move differently or see more clearly or different people are now around me, whatever that is, you're gonna be like, well I need to release some more of these vice. And so like that was my experience to where I, all of a sudden I was just like, let me just shed all this stuff because man, I want to see what it's like to. Fully reset. And like, as I'm saying this out loud, I think about, I know Jesus talking about yo, like if you don't enter the kingdom of heaven like a child, like you're not gonna get in. so it's just like, yo, we've, carried all this baggage for so long. Like, you gotta go back to that 5-year-old self that is just curious and open and vulnerable. And once you find that version, you're just like, oh, I, I'm ready to start over. I'm ready to do this again a different way, because this feels so much better to have this freedom to just flow, but also have the wisdom of somebody that's in their thirties. Right? And so,

Nathan:

Hmm.

Mondo:

So, yeah, release those vices.

Nathan:

Uh, I, I'm gonna take that and just as a favor to me, can you say like. Where a person, if they were like, okay, Armando, but seriously, will you walk with me? Uh, where does a person go to figure that out?

Mondo:

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, go to raimondo.com, uh, A-R-A-M-O-N-D o.com and man, like. In this season, I'm called to serve. I'm gonna say a lot of words I wanna speak. I don't necessarily know if this next sprint of life is gonna be me like coaching other humans. I feel like I did that. Actually. I'm not even gonna say I feel like I did that. I feel like part of my challenge, and this is gonna go really to another first, I had so much stuff. Meaning I was living the good life, healthy family, money, whatever. then when I decided, when I decided to release all the stuff, it was literally like a movie when. Like Rocky gets smashed and then he has to like go move and like learn this new way with, uh, Apollo or something. Right? Like, like you just have to release that old version. And so one of the things that happened over the last three years was Mondo, you were loving and caring and kind, and you showed up for others and walked and worked with them when you had stuff. Is that really your character? Or did you just do that?'cause you had stuff? Can you still do that with nothing or next to nothing? And I felt like I had to prove to myself God already knew that I could, but I had to prove to myself that like could still do all those things and not get anything in return and serve people that had a significant amount of wealth in comparison to where I was at when I was just like, yo. I can't pay my phone bill at the end of the month. And somebody else is like, well, I'm thinking about going on this trip to wherever, right? And I had to swallow it and be like, their story isn't your story mano, right? Like, this is all about you and you being balanced and you following direction to become this better version of you. And so. just say all that. Not to say that I don't walk with other people or coach other people anymore.'cause if God sends somebody to me like I'm there, but now I feel like I, I went through that season and there's just, God's just calling me to something else, to exalt my voice a little bit more because I proved that like, yo, I'm gonna do this no matter what. So yeah, like gimme some more talons and, uh, and I, and I got you.

Nathan:

That's a such a, a one I see answer. I was like, go to this website, go to this bed to take this thing. Here's the tactical, here's the do, do, do, do. Uh, and I feel like you preached a short sermon. I was like, oh, that hits me right in my identity. Like, uh. Okay, whatever. All right. Uh,

Mondo:

is good. Do we more questions because I can keep going if we got one.

Nathan:

no, I think we could probably riff forever and we've already been told that if we continue on then uh, we start building up so much context that nobody can keep track anymore.

Mondo:

Yeah, that's fair.

Nathan:

Uh, so we'll just honor it right here and we'll close it down and, uh, and we will get back together when it's on the calendar.'cause I gave us a plan.

Mondo:

For sure, uh, until next time.

Nathan:

Awesome, man. Okay. Hey, it's Nathan again. If you made it to the end, that's awesome. I have a couple ways you can go deeper if you are interested, if you resonated with the way that Nathan talked about himself and how he sees the world, Nathan is me. You might be what we call a Second, which is an identity, not a role. We have a couple ways to dig into that curiosity. You can take our, am I a second assessment on our website or Howtobesecond.com/assessment. You can grab the book, How to be Second from our website or Amazon, or almost anywhere you like to buy books, including on audio. If you resonated with Mondo or you'd like to resonate that way, but you're feeling stuck, you can find Mondo on LinkedIn by searching for Aramondo That's A-R-A-M-O-N-D-O. Mondo deploys his natural 1iC'ness to support people who are stuck in themselves and their thinking to break through towards their biggest ideas and their self in a casual setting, like a walk or a phone call. If you're inspired by what we're doing here, you can support how to be second at howtobesecond.com/support Thanks again. I'm looking forward to our next conversation.