Staying in Sync? Unspoken Agreements?- One Second by How to be Second

Nathan and Mondo unpack how they handle pressure when the deadline is closing in—from Nathan’s “Wall of Shame” of overdue Asana tasks to Mondo’s conviction that no outside force should rush a decision. Nathan wrestles with his tendency to go silent under stress, while Mondo leans into faith, patience, and the belief that the right answer reveals itself in time. 

Next, they explore the quiet rules they live by—personal codes that shape how they show up in the world. Mondo opens up about his commitment to always speak with positivity and integrity, never letting his words become weapons. Nathan shares his principle of “awkward honesty,” where truth takes priority over comfort, even when it makes things messy. 

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This is One Second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities where we're exploring how we're different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at How to be Second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is what we call a natural 1iC, or a Visionary. Enjoy.

Transcript

Nathan: 0:00

Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to Be Second, and this is one second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities, reacting raw to questions from people like you, and exploring how we are different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at how to be second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is a natural OneIC.

0:24

so Nathan, this question hit me today because yesterday I had a deadline for an application, but it's only me. It has nothing to do with anybody else. And I'm asking because best practices or behavior may be different if it's a party of two or more. And so how I. Do you and the one or you and the team stay in sync when you're facing a deadline and like what do you do if you're approaching it? Are there times where maybe you have to go beyond it? Like how does that push pull when you're up against the clock work for you? I mean, well, my first, like, my reaction is to be deeply uncomfortable with the question. It's so like, what do you mean? What do we do when we're facing here? We do. We do whatever it takes. That's what we do. Like, 4:00 AM full squad scramble. You know what? Uh, what I mean beyond the deadline is called a deadline. Like, we make it no negotiation, the end. What else is there to say? This clearly not how it works and it only works that way in my head and, uh, I, I have today. My team will hate me for saying this out loud, but they hate me for this being true. I shouldn't say hate. I think they're kindly annoyed at me all the time for this. Every, I think every second loves a good task list or project management software. We use Asana. That is not a shout out to Asana, and I don't get paid for that. Like, partially because they canceled their affiliate program. So what the whatever, uh. But that's the one we use. I tried a whole bunch. The one we use at how to be second is Asana. We have what, actually one of my best friends, Mason Henry, who used to run Morley's online with me, we call it, the Wall of Shame, which is all of the Asana tasks. That have due dates that are past due in Asana, turn red. And so, and when you click on the My Tasks View you, it puts all of those up at the top. So we literally call it the Wall of Shame. It's just the wall of tasks that are past the deadline. Yeah, mine is always embarrassingly long. For me, one is embarrassing, but mine is like a full wall. Like I have all the bricks and the team is always like, does Nathan ever get like, you know, like occasionally they ask me like, Nathan, how second D are you? I'm like, I don't, uh uh. I think that's actually where maybe I. A natural, I, I mean, I'll throw this at you, but where I, in a natural one might be more aligned than the, the average. Sort of like, this is where my personality layer comes in. And that is, I am, I'm sort of hilariously late to things. Uh, and that, that, that's not just my Asana task thing. It's my. I view time a little bit looser, I think, than most people, and that is if I, like, I always perceive whatever's going on as if I'm sitting in a movie and the idea of like, oops, the movie is like 20 minutes longer. Than I thought it was. And so I was supposed to walk into another movie. As soon as this one ended, I was supposed to like the credit start rolling. I was supposed to get up, walk across the hallway into a new theater, sit down and start watching a new movie. That's how I think about time stuff, stuff on the calendar, and I'm like, I would never leave the last 20 minutes of a movie to go start a new movie. That seems insane to me. And so my wife. Feels insane constantly because it means we're almost always late. And so it's, it's funny'cause my reaction is to be mortified about not hitting a deadline. My real life behavior is that I miss deadline. Constantly. And you know what? I can tell you I'm not dead yet. Uh, so I think that's my reaction is I'm mortified. Other seconds around me are constantly also annoyed. I've had bosses here and there that were really annoyed about that tend to be not OneIC, natural OneIC types. Most of the time you just communicate about it and. You get to know each other a little bit. And I think that it's like how do you stay in sync and how I've always stayed in sync.'cause we just keep talking. Like if you stop talking, maybe one of my tendencies has been to put my head down and try to go as hard as I can without saying anything.'cause I like feel bad that we're gonna maybe miss a deadline or I'm like a day late or feeling short or whatever. And so like I stopped talking. That is always actually the thing that has gotten me in the most trouble and how I have not stayed in sync is that I've just quit talking. And so, uh, if we are approaching it and may even need to go beyond it, I think how we stay in sync is we just keep talking. It feels like you and I have always just kept talking and that has been the most. That's been the way that we've stayed in sync the most and the worst that I've ever done it is that I just quit talking, thinking that doing the thing was the most important and I was, I was wrong almost every time. Okay. Your turn. That's dope. All right, so here's where we are super different, because when I asked this question and you started talking about Asana task list, I was like, that's definitely not where my mind went. So I was thinking about, I think it's, it's one of the Dark night series where there's like two, I don't know, small boats or ships with like humans on it. And then like one has regular humans and the other has like a escape. Convict or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, yo, the time is running down. Either you blow up the other one to save your life, whatever. And so when I'm thinking of a deadline, I'm thinking of coming up against this deadline and like having to solve something or making a decision and my personality type and just what I believe is. To never be rushed by an external influence and like be the person who's just like, well, clearly, if we don't have the best answer yet, then the best answer just hasn't revealed itself. So like, let's pause and get past this moment. And then after that maybe God would be like, oh, you had faith. Like yeah. Like I hid this option from you until you got to the other side of thinking you are in control. Mm-hmm. And so, uh, just thinking about this question in general just really has me thinking about my role. In any environment and when people think that the world is going to end, if they don't hurry up and make this arbitrary decision, I'm kind of the voice to be like, but what if we don't? Like, what if we wait another day? And so like you, like, I think even it's happening right now where if you open up the news, it's like government shut down. Like, oh, like what is gonna, if the government shuts down, blah, blah, blah. And then now it's kind of just normal that well, every couple years the government's just gonna shut down. Yeah. And I know we shut down for a week or five weeks or whatever, but then it'll restart. Right. Like the story of restart. And so anyway, it's just, when I was reflecting on this question, I was just really thinking about how important it is for me to like push that line and try to just wait and pause and like, let's go beyond, right. And where you were just like beyond what's beyond like we have these tasks and so like how we would do that dance. But both are true, right? Like if we clearly know here are the task and these tasks need to get done, there's no reason to create something to go beyond that. It's just like, yeah, let's stay up till four o'clock and do these things. But I guess there are also other choices where it's, I don't know, a little bit more dramatic and. We're trying to find a solution. Let me throw this at you too. So like, now that you've reframed the idea of like, okay, there's this external force that is like something that we're dealing with that isn't just a thing that we can decide. So I'm thinking of in past lives, right? Or, or even in, in current, like an application deadline where I know that I had for college, to take fall courses. I remember facing an application deadline for my courses or for like, application for student aid or for like the 10,000 small business program. I was just talking about that with our friend Tony. And it's like, okay, there's a deadline for your application to be considered. And so there are, or other deadlines that I have faced. I remember running the company that I was at and when COVID hit, right, and it's like. There was a certain amount of cash in the bank. There was, um, we lost 95% of our revenue. I, I, the first week that I started at that job, we lost 95% of our revenue, like my second day at work. Right. Fun. It's just the best thing ever. Right. I had like a four month like onboarding plan, and then I became fully in charge in crisis because those were the options of like, okay, well we lost 95% of the revenue. Clearly the clock is ticking. Like we either need to take dramatic action right now or we're going to die. It was a literal deadline. It was like a company failure moment where the clock was literally ticking. There was a dead line. And so how do you react in that when the pressure is like so real, like there is a bomb that is going to go off. Like, you like the version on the boat, the Dark Knight? Like how, how about that one? Yeah. Yeah. The, I mean, it's super dope that you're asking it that way in a, I love how our minds contrast because yours is this. Dire catastrophic. Yeah. Situation or circumstance. And as you were saying it, I was thinking about the opposite end. I'm just want to color the lines for the audience. Like I was like, yo, what if we were doing really well and Nathan and I were running a company and we were feeling like, yeah, it might be time to sell this company. And somebody came and offered a hundred million dollars, but was like, you have 24 hours to accept this. A hundred million dollars. After that, the deal's off the table. I'm like 100% certain. If somebody gave me that deadline, I'm gonna go past the deadline just out of like, dude, you're not gonna come in here and tell me what decision I have to make in 24 hours. And so, uh, just kind of contrasting like where my mind is at, but to the point that you brought up, I. If you are looking at a puzzle and your gift is Mando. There's a thousand pieces to this puzzle. I have 999, and for some reason I cannot answer the best way to organize this puzzle, to take a step forward. I need you to make a decision. If you are 100% surrendering and saying, bro, I can't make it. I don't have enough information. In a situation like that, I then feel like I cannot make. A choice that I don't believe in. cause you have doubt in making a choice. So I'm just like, oh, okay. Well if you're delegating to me, I'm going to believe in the choice. And if we hit this time, and I don't believe in the words that are gonna come out of my mouth yet, I literally can't say it out loud. cause if it's the thing that isn't right and you're like, Mando, I trusted you. If I believed it, I'd be like, Hey bro, it was on my heart like that was the right way. Something else is on the way. We don't know what it is, but let's have faith and go do the thing. But if I say, yeah, Nathan, I responded out of fear and I really didn't know. Sorry, that's such a whack leader to me. Uh, well it's a, it's a whack if I led in that way. And so I don't know if that answered your question, but I need to be confident in. How I guide the squad. If the squad is like Monda, we trust you to press the button right now or not. I think, I mean, first of all, the fact that we get to sit here talking about this question means that any deadline that you and I have ever faced in our lives has not been an actual deadly. Right. Like I, I'm talking about that company where we were like, oh, the cash were running, blah, blah, blah. Like, we're in this critical situation like, you know, how many people died? Zero people died. Now, I did earn the title, the Executioner in the Town. Have you ever laid off 1% of a community population before? Because I have, I fired 1% of a town in a day. Oh, that's funny. Uh, that's good. Okay. But you know what? I didn't die, but they didn't catch me and. No, none of them died either. That's the thing. Yeah. Is that, and that hilariously neither did the business. The business didn't die. We ended up hiring a bunch of those people back, whatever, like, and was it because I made a decision that I was incredibly confident about, in one moment. Prior to the, no, not really. Right. I actually, I would say I stayed in conversation with the person who was the first in command that I was serving. And we decided together, which is one of the ways that we've managed with the deadline. But the harsh reality is even in that insane situation, like nobody died, not for any of that. Even though I'm sure a couple of people felt like it or they definitely felt like killing me, like, and so. There is something really, there's something really impressive and important about what you're saying, and that is like, if I'm not dead, I'm going to have to live with the decision that I made for as long as I am alive. So if I behave in a way that my future self,'cause I'm gonna carry this, the weight of this decision and the way that I moved in this moment for the rest of my life. Like I'm talking about a story right now where I earned a nickname from six years ago. Like, yeah. And so like are you, how do you stay in sync and what do you do? And if you may need to approach it, go beyond it, whatever. And the answer is you have to be completely convicted. For our answer at this time, the answer that I love that you're saying is that we have to be completely convicted in our choice, and if that means we need to wait an extra 24 hours, then that's what it means. It's, it's so spot on. And I also kind of love how you keep leaning into like nobody died. And I feel like once you go through enough battles or enough wars or enough wrestling matches, whatever you want to call it, and you recognize that things are going to be challenging to different degrees, but on the other side of it, it's just a bunch of lessons that you've learned or. It's choices that you had to make to decide what character you were gonna be in the story at that time. But you know, a year from now, the choice will come back again and you get to decide if you wanna be the same executioner, if you want to do it a different way. Right. Like life continues to life. Yeah. And having two balanced humans. Right. A one in a second who have been through enough battles together leading. To be able to offer some peace of mind, to be like, yo, team, this is gonna be hard, hard is F but we can do it. We're gonna get through it. And both truly believe that even if that means a bunch of people might get laid off, being honest and being like, yo, this might be become a reality. But like it's just our role in the story to have enough confidence and courage and. Have the kind words to be like, please follow us and if you're not allowed to follow us, like we love you up until this point, but like, this is just the story that's in front of us and we have to go do the thing. And so yeah, man, like I, I love this question. I love just the realness of the leadership that is required. And I also love the idea that. Ideally, nobody's dying through it, so like we're good. Let me, it's like it's a video game. Just last thought on this. Every now and then. Rarely. So rarely, but it does happen. Someone does die. Right? I had a boss who had seen real actual war. Here's the thing about that. None of the decisions we were facing were going to kill anyone, but he definitely brought the seriousness that he carried in those times that deserved that weight into the decisions we were making. I can tell you that those, that was whack, that was crazy. You know what will make you not on the same page when you have wildly the not same seriousness about how actually important some of these decisions or deadlines are.'cause I had a guy who had faced literal dead lines. People were going lives were really, genuinely at stake, and he had to make decisions on those things. And I'll never, I, I mean, I do not understand in my life what that is actually like, not like that. But I also know that he brought the seriousness of those decisions to our deadlines, and it was fully a chasm between like, like, nah, dude, like this is not that. And you could feel the disconnect of how seriously he took those things and how. Unserious, all the rest of us were capable of taking them. And so that's the last thing I'll say is there really are decisions like that where you really will, where you really genuinely do have a life at stake. And I don't wanna be flippant about that and say that every, in, every situation, like you're gonna survive to the next day and you get to make the decision again. Like there are genuinely decisions where that's not true. I can tell you that bringing a everybody chill out to that. Is maybe not the greatest. And I can definitely tell you that those are so wildly rare by comparison for all the rest of us and bringing a yes, this is genuinely going to kill us into all the other 99.9% of decisions that happen every day is just insane. Like, you know, part of, part of the reason I have. All confidence that I could do anything in the world doesn't matter, like God. If you want to give me that gift, I can handle the thing, but one of the reasons why I would never aspire, let me not say that. God, please forgive me. One of the reasons why I don't imagine that I would pursue this spot, meaning like President of the United States, is because I wouldn't press the button. I wouldn't push for war. I like as a human being, I feel like as soon as you take that leap and say physical battle that could end in death is the only way that we resolve this issue. Like it creates a spiral that you then cannot get out. And so to your point, like this is a human that. I chose to go down that path. And so like the only way to survive in many ways was your life or mine. And I just never felt inclined to play that game because that game doesn't make sense to me. And so that's no disrespect to anybody who chooses to play that game, and play is probably the wrong word. Who chooses to participate in that area of our lived experience? Um. But I would be the dude that they're just like Mondo. We either go to war or we're gonna lose. Mm-hmm. I would always be like, there's another answer. We're not going to war. Right. Like, God, step in somehow and create another option.'cause I'm not going to be the one to say that's just not Jesus. Like, right. Like, there's always another answer. And so. Even if that means, you know, we about to die and I gotta believe that we're about to be resurrected in five seconds. Like I, I'm just gonna be that dude. So, uh, this was, this was a great topic, bro. That was a really good conversation. Uh, what we got next, what, what we pivoting to started on its autotask ended with Right. Life or death. Yeah. Alright. The, uh, okay, here's our new question. What is an unspoken agreement that you have for yourself? Some people might call this a core value or, but just like something that you're like, I don't necessarily broadcast this about myself, but this is a core component of the way that I move in the world for me. So, uh, it's the same thing, but it has evolved in the language and the depths of which I believe it's true. Nathan, I remember when we first started communicating, and I would talk about like the two core books that I leaned into. One the Four Agreements, and the second The Alchemist. And, uh, the first agreement in The Alchemist is to be impeccable with your words. And like most people say, well, that means like, don't lie. Don't mislead people with your words, right? Don't be manipulative. But when you actually read deeper into it, it's like, don't say anything out loud that be, can be used against you. Like be impeccable. Don't be like, I don't like the way Nathan's beard looks on Wednesday, right? Like, don't, just don't say anything that could come back and be a detriment. And so one of my unwritten rules is. Nobody will ever be able to say accurately that Mondo is, or says different words out loud, behind the scenes or behind closed doors that doesn't align with how he shows. When he is on stage, like I will always, always, always be a positive person with the words that I say out loud. I might have some thoughts that aren't the healthiest right, but like, actually saying the words out loud, like it's just a, it's just an unwritten rule for me. Like I'm always going to say the positive thing. So. It is hard. I have a cheeky question and that is, now that you've said it out loud, is it, is it no longer an unspoken agreement? Nobody Write that down. Nobody write it down. Leave it alone. Oh man. That's funny. Uh, obviously I was thinking about this while you were answering and I was thinking about how many of the agreements that I have that I actually feel like are spoken, but nobody would, they're not written down anywhere. There are way, there are ways that I have chosen to move in the world and. I mean like, I don't think any of, I say them out loud sometimes, like I joke about them. One of mine is actually really similar to yours and that is, uh, I call it awkward honesty, and that is a layer on top of never needing to lie, right? Awkward honesty is what gets me to that. If I move with awkward honesty in the world, it means that I'm going to create some strange, I'm gonna create some uncomfortable moments, probably. I'm gonna say some things out loud that other people are gonna say that's not very politically correct, or I'm going to kind of bring a room to a halt on occasion. I actually just had this happen like two weeks ago. I said something and I was in a room. I was in a room of coalition nine facilitators and Aaron was, uh, leading all the facilitators. And shout out to Aaron, who's awesome and all the coalition nine facilitators who also are awesome. I love C nine Mondo, and I met in C nine. I can tie so many of the good things in my life. Back to C nine. I'm in this room with all the facilitators. We bring up some topic about how to improve something, which I love the idea of, I love improving things. I raise my hand, everybody, you know, everybody's like trying to be valuable. I raise my hand and I'm like, I hate this thing. Let's kill it. Yep, dude. Like there's a better way to go about that, but. I don't know what it is in that moment. The point of it is that I never have to, I'm just trying to own my followership. I'm trying to, like you're saying, moving through the world with honesty. I desperately want to be fully bought in to the things that I'm bought into. And so all of these layers on top of that, the awkward honesty, the saying, the, the weird thing out loud, the even doing what I say that I will do. These are like all these core values that I have written down. The thing that I'm trying to get at in the most intense way is that I desperately desire to be a good steward of anything that I'm given and to be a dedicated follower, a bought in fan of the things that I say yes to. And if that means that I have to come across like an awkward motherfucker every now and then. I'm, I am willing to do that. I'm not willing to play the politically correct game so that, you know, like I just can't put my energy into that thing because if I feel disconnected. At some other time, I don't feel like I'm being a good steward. I don't feel like I'm being a dedicated actual fan. And that means being a dedicated actual fan means being willing to say the hard shit. Like being a fan is not being a simp like it's. It's going, this is the good thing that makes me really a fan about that thing. And these are the crappy things that we're doing right now. Or these are the hard parts about that, like, calling out both of those things, right? Being a follower, uh, like, you know, this, being a follower of Christ is not a good time. Like, somebody's gonna hear you say that this is the thing that I am, and this is the thing I've dedicated myself to, and they're gonna start giving you shit like literally minute one that you know, like, oh, I don't need to hear that. Why are you shoving that in my face? Why are you, oh, you believe in stupid things. That's all made up. That's whatever. I'm like, yeah, dude, I, I get it. There are hard parts of this too. Sure. Absolutely. And so. That. Yeah. Oh, what's so funny about that? And so cool. When I was going through my journey and building up. Closer with relationship with Christ, as you know, uh, I started off watching the chosen frequently, like over and over and over, and literally one of the characters in the show is Nathaniel. And Nathaniel is the radical honesty person. And I'm like, how did they literally. Drop Nathan in here, the person who is the system centered can build all the stuff. And I just, I, every time he has a moment where he does that, I'm like, yo, that is so Nathan. And, uh, it, it just really reminded me of that. But to your point, the truth cuts through the noise, right? Like it's, it's so straight that it allows us to not have to take the scenic route. Right. Like so many people probably wish they had the courage to say the thing out loud in a direct way, but they don't, and you're choosing, or you were chosen to sit in a seat where you're just like, I'm gonna own this. Responsibility in the story to where I'm not going to leave a conversation feeling like the truest version of what we were trying to get at was not said aloud. And I love that about you and I commend it. And I say the only difference between you and I is. Maybe I should say mine with a little bit more, uh, Obama esque nuance. I get people there with a few more words. You're like, this is dumb. How about we scrap it? But, you know, I love it. Uh, it, I'm so grateful to you also, people who have that skill of not saying things out loud in the way that I do a lot of the time. Because a lot of people aren't prepared to hear even the most well-meaning things delivered in the package that I hand them over in. Right. Like it's a love letter covered in, you know, in cactus. Something I will say by the way about the C nine group is that props to Aaron Edgar, like he caught the thing I was saying very softly that could have been not. Caught softly, and it would've been reasonable to do so. And, but he both caught it softly engaged everyone in the room in a thoughtful conversation. And we did agree. We all did agree together that that thing did need to go away. And also, like you're saying, he post me owning that, being willing to step in and speak up. It did need to be caught by someone else and, and sort of repackaged and handled really well to make it actionable for everyone else around. So, but I would say so, I would say massive props to him. I don't, I don't wanna walk away without being like, I'm so thankful to you and Aaron and people like you because it, yeah. Yeah, it definitely took the tango, right? It was one of those moments where like. I said a thing that was true in love and wanting to be completely bought in, and I was like, Hey, this is a rough spot. And he was able to catch that agree, but restructure it in a way. And so he understood because I've always been that way unabashedly a fan. That whether it was positive or negative, he understood the core. I think of my unspoken agreement with myself, and that is I am willing to be radically honest, both positive and negative of the things that I am willing to dedicate myself to unabashedly a fan or a follower of something. I take those ideas very seriously and so. Anyway. Okay. I think that's the summary. Let me, yeah, that's, no, it is good. Like, let me talk to the ones for a second and I have a question for you as it relates to seconds. So like for the ones, since I was using the four agreements as an anchor earlier, I'll continue to use it. One of the other agreements is not to take things personally. And so because I adopted that agreement long ago when Nathan and I met. And he would straight talk everything. Like I would never take it personal'cause like I had already practiced like cool, but you said it really well that like it's coming from love, right? Rather it's something positive or negative, like the spirit is coming from a place of love and not malice. My question then is, historically, has there been anything that you needed to. Do or nurture or nourish in your relationship with a one who's not ready for that yet? Like did you have to, like, how did you break through? Or did you just continue to be you and they just needed to get on the bandwagon or like. I, I can just imagine that there are, there's a disconnect between a one and a second. Sometimes if you're always that way and a person's like, I can never say anything,'cause Nathan's always gonna come over the top with his truth. So from the second seat, how do you help bridge that with a one? That's a great question. Yes. I used to not do it, and it got me in a lot of trouble. And that was mine to own. And I recognize that. I think even being willing to call it awkward honesty is a step in the direction of recognizing, like you have to stay on the same page. You have to stay in conversation. And so you can't just be talking at, you have to be talking with. So if it doesn't serve. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually had this, I, I think, I think a good, I'm gonna stick to the C nine example. I actually shot Aaron a, a message just between he and I following that. I said I thanked him. For having caught something that could be very spiky, so graciously. But I also was like, Hey, I'm constantly trying to help, but at the same time, like I, this is how I am, and so how can I do that in a better way? So even, even in that example where I technically, I did it fairly well, all things considered, and I've grown and matured a lot in that I still touched base afterward to make sure that. He and I were still in good relationship and that if he felt like there was a step that I could take to make that better, more polished in the future that I wanted to know because I do want to constantly be refining that. And so I would say yes, you do need to stay in conversation. You do need to actively be refining those things. And I have a lot in my life. One of the things that I've. Have been given is this question of like, what is my intention in this? How am I, how am I trying to be in this? And to pause for a moment and consider, and maybe even say out loud to like, to state your intention. I, Hey, I want to be completely bought into this thing. And so I have, I'm gonna say this, it might be awkwardly honest, it might not come across the best, whatever. I would say I've put a lot of work into refining that rough edge. You don't get to just probably, that's why Yeah, yeah. We're friends still like, yeah, yeah. No, this is so good. And you, you literally talking about the host conversation like. Message that you should send to Aaron, just help me evolve a statement that I've been saying probably for the last two weeks in conversation with a human who is more second in nature than I am. Uh, clearly, um, I consistently ask, do you want to be right or do you want to get it right? Mm. And they consistently respond by saying. I want to be right. And so part of the thing that I, the other word that I'm supposed to add in there that this human may not be catching is, do you want to be right? Or do you want us to get it right? And so there was something about that conversation that you had with Aaron that you're just like, Hey, this is a we thing. I want us to get it right so that we then can be in best service to others. And so anyways, that there was really just helpful for me because you definitely have a we or us mentality, and even though you may. Believe your way is the right way. Given all the things that you've quantified and qualified. Still being right does not mean you got it right for us, you know? So I, I keep a document a thousand percent. I agree. I keep a document, I add one sentence to it every year. I've been keeping this document for, uh, roughly 18 years, it looks like. I call it most important thoughts, and so I try to take one thought each year and add it to this document, the most important single thing ostensibly, that I could hand to my children and say, I lived an entire year. This is the one thing that I would say is the most important thing for me to hand to you this year. And. Number 14 is being right is not always useful. That, that I, I didn't catch it, but you said it and then I went, wait, I adopted this years ago that, yeah, that's number 14. Yeah. Like that idea. One for you to know you created a list and know number 14 is one. I pulled up wild to me. That's funny. I didn't just remember off the top of my head. I was, I, I had the list ready, you know, like, uh, but that I, I forgot that it was on the list until you framed it in the way that you said. I couldn't even say it. I couldn't even frame it. When you finally, you framed it in that way, do you wanna be right or do you want us to get this right? Yeah. Yeah. And that. Oh my God. It's so much more important for us to do this well together for us to do better together. Yeah. My need to be right is not always useful. Facts. Oh, facts. I'm so glad you said that. All right. I think, I think, is there anything before we honor it and drop it right there? No, that was good for you to literally say out loud, Hey, this is part of my annual, breakthrough words. We hit the nail on the head to close it for sure. Peace.

Nathan: 37:51

Hey, it's Nathan again. If you made it to the end, that's awesome. I have a couple ways you can go deeper if you're interested. If you resonated with the way that Nathan talked about himself, I am Nathan you might be what we call a Second. This is an identity, not a role. We have a couple ways to dig into that curiosity. You can take our am I a second assessment on our website at how to be second.com/assessment. It is directional, not definitive. You can grab the book, how to Be Second from our website or Amazon or almost anywhere you like to buy books, including on audio read by the authors, myself and David Hartman. If you resonated with Mondo, I have a couple things for you as well. Second seat.org focuses on sponsoring seconds to be able to sit in the second seat at Youth-Focused Impact organizations to help them scale. Second Seat is always looking to talk to community impact organizations who are interested in getting a second, and for funding groups who want those types of organizations to succeed. If you're a for-profit, how to be Second has a matchmaking, not recruiting service, where we make connections between first and seconds, where there's a relationship, energy, skill, and compensation match. Finally, if you're inspired by what we're doing here, you can support how to be second at How to be second.com/support. Thanks again. I'm looking forward to our next conversation.