What new ideas are you exploring? Going alone or going together?- One Second by How to be Second

Nathan and Mondo dive into the ideas currently pulling their curiosity, from redefining skill and unpacking rejection, to seeing assessments and identity as mirrors rather than truths. As they wrestle with what’s indicative versus definitive, they explore how labels, roles, and even confidence often reflect internal states more than fixed reality. Along the way, Mondo opens up about shedding identities like “the Black Tech Guy” to simply become himself, while navigating new projections like being called “Rev.” 

Together, they also discuss what it means to go alone versus go together and ultimately land on both are necessary because solitude can sharpen clarity yet being surrounded by the right people can amplify growth. 

If you want more like this, subscribe or find more on Howtobesecond.com

This is One Second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities where we're exploring how we're different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at How to be Second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is what we call a natural 1iC, or a Visionary. Enjoy. 

Transcript

Nathan 0:00

Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to Be Second, and this is one second, a conversation between two people with wildly different identities, reacting raw to questions from people like you, and exploring how we are different while embracing that we're better together. In our vernacular at how to be second, I am a Second, and my co-host Armando Davison, is a natural OneIC.

video1505220899 0:24

What's up man? I'm glad we are back today. So today's question is super simple. As a person who loves adventure, I want to ask you this, who you might fall into a routine or not, I don't know, but like what new ideas are you currently exploring? Very simple, but where are you off on a tangent? What are you exploring? What is the thing? Oh. This is extra interesting because we do this podcast, right? And so I actually have to, on some level, this pod, this experience causes me to explore new ideas at a pace that I would not otherwise. I think. On some level, what ideas am I exploring right now? All the stuff that has come up in our podcast. Because once a question gets asked here, I notice that I. Tend to keep leaning into having that conversation. But a couple of things that are popping up as like they sort of won't go away is, I'm gonna drop a couple. The first one is the definition of skill. I think we talked about that not that long ago. So like what's the definition of skill and why is it not just the one thing? This concept of rejection, this is an idea that I'm exploring right now, that I'm not very far into really unpacking the ideas of like, what is rejection? And then another sort of like really odd one is, uh, trees. I've just like really been paying a lot of attention to like, trees. How do trees grow? What are trees? And then the last one is the idea of assessments as mirrors. How we like to use assessments, but what they actually are and how those two things of the way we want them to be and how we use them versus what they actually are being different. And so those are my four new ideas that I'm exploring right now. I know the question was what's a new idea you're exploring right now? Okay, let me ask, of the four. Is any of them creating a significant amount of discomfort or stretching you more than the others? We've talked about this before, the rejection one is the most stretching, leaning into. What rejection is and isn't and how to navigate what is mine to do with rejection? And what I naturally fall to and how those two things, what I naturally do and what is mine to do, are not necessarily the same. Like, uh, turns out the place you're comfortable is not necessarily the place you need to be. Uh, so, um, that one is making me the most uncomfortable, but I think the one that's making other people the most uncomfortable near me. Is the idea that a lot of the things that we do are actually mirrors, I keep using this phrase indicative, not definitive. Hmm. And we keep trying to use things as definitive, and I'm like, that's, that's actually not what that is. But it would be convenient if you. Took it that way. And so that's making people very uncomfortable near me as I say that. But the rejection one is the one that's making me really uncomfortable.'cause I'm comfortable saying the, well, this thing is not exact. There's the nuance there. And people are like, ah, and, and I'm like, well, that's fine for me. But the rejection thing is something that makes me really uncomfortable. Okay. Let's follow though this thread of. Indicative versus definitive, because I think that really ties to like what new idea is someone exploring or like what new version of yourself are you exploring? Or like these agreements that you made about yourself, like there you right now, but are you supposed to stay there, go explore more versions of yourself? And so have you, I don't know, maybe landed on. A new agreement for yourself to continue to explore? Or is there a question, I guess, aside from like going together or growing together like, but is there, is there a question that you consistently poses to others to push them past or nudge them past? Definitive to like be open to like, this is just indicative of this current situation and maybe you want to consider more. And so I might not be asking the question perfect, but it seems really cool, this definitive versus indicative, and so I'm just asking you to unpack that a little bit more. Yeah. The way that I have been leaning into that in a way that's, I'm not trying to make people feel uncomfortable, but it does, and that is when people say things where they're saying it as fact. And I will say, what does that mean to you? So I, I literally had this conversation an hour ago. I was working with this young guy that I met at Starbucks, and he wants to start his own business and he's actually going to a accelerator at Osborne three 70, like in an hour. And he wants to start this clothing business for professional men. I think that's great. Great. That's great. We were doing, he called it market research. I was like, you mean we're just having a conversation about what I would buy? And I was like, I appreciate the terms. I understand. But he said a couple of things really definitively like about identity. He was like, well, I used to be a basketball player and like my identity was completely wrapped up in that. And now I'm trying to start a business and like I can't keep showing up in my basketball shorts. I have to show up, like I have to show up different, like when I put on my uniform or when I put on all my track clothes and stuff like that. He's like, that's not my identity anymore. And so I need something that helps me have this sense of belonging and feeling like I'm actually an entrepreneur. And like, that's my identity. And I was like, fascinating. He keeps using this word identity. He was saying it like very matter of fact, like this is why. And I was like, you keep using this word identity. What does that mean to you? Yeah. And we're supposed to be doing market research, you know, he's supposed to be asking me questions about his new fledgling business. And then I'm like, what is identity? Yeah. Help me unpack identity for you. There was a stumble immediately and he, once again, he went back to a lot of what I would consider roles. Oh, I played basketball, I have basketball clothes, I have whatever. And I was like, well, yeah, you've left all of those roles behind and the clothes that you seem to think that the clothes go along with the roles. Is that actually true or is that just what you are feeling in your body right now that you're trying to do something new and that those things are holding you back? So like are the clothes identity for you, or do you have your own identity? The clothes are an expression of something that you're trying to say on behalf of other people. And obviously it didn't take very long for him to be like, I'm just trying to express to other people, but I also feel really uncomfortable in what I'm doing. I don't feel like I'm qualified. I don't feel like I'm whatever. I don't feel like I'm, and so I was like, this is fascinating because what you've done then is you've provided me this definitive thing, and I was like, and you're trying to give it to other people. Clothes are your identity that helps you form an identity. And I was like, but that's actually not what you mean at all. What you're saying is just an indicator of what's going on inside of you right now. So you took it away as definitive, but it's actually just an indicative, this is just a mirror of the stuff that's happening in here. So similarly people take assessments. We have an assessment on our website, the, it's literally called, am I a Second? And right at the front of the assessment it says, this is indicative not definitive. Mm-hmm. So like, do I feel like we've done a pretty good job in building the assessment to direct people? Indicate to people whether they are this kind of human being or not. I do, I feel like we've really genuinely done a good job of that, and over the course of, you know, now, I, I think we're getting close to 200 of those being filled out. Like yeah, I, I feel like those results are like pretty straightforward. Also, one of the potential results is some yes, some no. Really hard to say based on what you answered. It drives people insane. I get more emails about that one than the yes or the no. Right? Yeah. And so people aren't upset when I tell them Yes. People tend to not be upset when I tell them no. What drives them insane is when I say it doesn't really feel like you're confident either direction right now. Mm. It just feels like you're really uncomfortable. Yeah, very So. Yeah. Yeah, there's, there's a lot of layers there and there's something very significant that I can resonate with when you were talking about the athlete turned entrepreneur.'cause that was my life. Mm-hmm. And so to have made some agreements that I am going to be in the NBA basketball is my identity. I actually remember the tattoo that I had designed that I never got. But this tattoo was this like syringe. Again, cringey syringe, uh, that was filled with. Something, this addictive drug, but at the top was a spinning basketball. Mm-hmm. And it was like hoop addict, right? Yeah. And so I was like, oh, like I was gonna get this tattoo. It was fire, actual tattoo. But if I were to have gotten that. Now I would reflect and be like, well, I'm not a hoop addict anymore. But at the time, like my life was pointing in that direction and everything was indicating that that was how my story was going to unfold. Yeah. Fast forward, we talked about this at 25. I was like, oh, it's not gonna unfold that way. So I have to pivot to a different direction. When I got into tech. I didn't get a tattoo, but I had to align, right? My dress, how I showed up with the black tech guy. And so like when you're talking about this story, about this gentleman who is like going through this transition, trying to own what is his, trying to feel comfortable and confident no matter what room he's walking in and like how he's showing up, I can resonate with that so much because when I. Chose to be definitive that I am the black tech guy. I was able to walk into spaces without any doubt. Even though like that was a reflection of, to your point, what was happening inside of me, me needing to, uh, assume this like secondary moniker to feel comfortable and confident because at the time I didn't feel like subconsciously our Armando Davison was good enough. Yeah. Like the story didn't fit. And so I feel like over time we continue to develop. Who we are and eventually you're like, my name is Nathan. Period. Right? Like here are some other things, right? That encapsulate who I am, but really like I'm comfortable and confident being Nathan Young and same like, yo, I'm comfortable and confident being who I am. I don't need this extra label to. Step into a space to be like, I'm definitively me and this other thing, right? It's like, no, I'm just me. And yeah, I I love that story that you shared. Love it. Yeah. I'm good. I'm curious on your side,'cause I actually did really, once we started talking about this, I thought the connection to,'cause I remember your black tech eye t-shirts, right? Yeah. Yeah. And, I always thought it was great branding, but the idea of it as an identity, as like the idea of it as something that Mondo was saying, he was, rather than saying Mondo and then the black tech guy is associated with Mondo. Like you were using that, you were trying to mirror that thing instead of the other way around. I would say seconds often have this thing where they're like, oh, I am an role. I am an integrator. I am a second in command. I am a chief of staff. I am a general manager. I'm a, you know, every, every title. And I'm like, no, you are you. Yeah, there are some things that are magnetically drawn to you. Those works that you do are indicators of the person that you are. Yeah, they're just clothes that you wear for now. Yeah, but if you lost all of those things, like that's a mirror that you're speaking to, but if you lost to those things, what is there still? And so that, yeah, I love that. And as I was telling the story, I was thinking about your black tech eye T-shirts and I was just like, man, what fucking great branding. And now means a little more now. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Let me turn the, let me turn this to you. And that is what new idea are you exploring right now? Yeah, I'll, I'll keep the thread going'cause it actually kind of plays to what we just talked about. So you said it very well that I assumed this identity, the black tech guy, which in that season of my life, it actually came first and Armando was secondary as opposed to the healthy other way around. And I mean, in the community they're like, oh, that's the black tech guy. That's the black tech guy. The black tech guy. The black tech guy. There are many people who didn't even know my name enough to be like, oh, and he is this, or whatever, that I know the human, it was just this. Yeah. Uh, it was this caricature. Right. And so, fast forward to you saying, well, what happens when you strip all of that down? Hmm. And so I truly believe that my call to surrender. Was just walking that path. Okay. Mano like, strip all of that down. Strip the business, the black tech guy, strip the aspiration to have to be successful. Strip being a dad or a brother or a friend or whatever. Like strip it all down. Go to the bare bones. What's left? Oh, what's left is Armando, right? Like there's nothing more. Oh, okay. Well then who is that person? And I feel like through my lived experience, it was me being called to say, how much can I embody the characteristics of Christ? To then be one with him, right? Like, all right, well, like I need a purpose. If I don't have anything else, like what is my purpose? I can't just be a stick figure out here saying that I am Bondo with like no direction. And so the final direction that was left while I was at the bottom was like, okay, well be in alignment with. God's love story. Well, how do I do that? Well, like Christ is the head of the story. So like, how close can you get to Christ? And so then I just continued to live in that way. And then the story started unfolding and then I'm like, oh, well now I'm leading with Mondo and I'm trying to embody Christ's characters. And so like they kind of play hand in hand, but kind of to your point like that creates this magnetic. I don't know, like thing, and then people like put other clothes on you. Mm-hmm. Right? Yep. And so like, before we started talking, I was like, yo, Nathan, over the past week or two, like people have been calling me Rev. And I'm like, oh, well, like this is, this is different for me because before. I was projecting the Black tech guy and putting Mondo second because I felt like it was necessary for me to like own that identity, to like have more value where it's flipped Now I'm like, yo, I just call me Mondo. Like I, I'll just be that. And others are like, well, no bro, you're Rev, right? Yeah. Like you can be Rev, Mondo, whatever. And I'm just like, oh, that's interesting that like that is being pushed my way. And so now you, the question then is like, what is the new thing that you're exploring? One, it's me exploring if that is how people are starting to perceive me as a human. What does that look like for me? What so like one, I don't know the difference between, this is facts Rev. Pastor, preacher, priest, like just like the whole like person in that role. I don't know. Like, what are you supposed to do? What's the responsibilities? And so instead of like going and searching and like, let me find out the definition and like try to fit into that box that they're putting me in. I'm like, well, what are they saying? They're saying that this human. It has been following God in a way that I trust their moral, ethical, like spiritual direction. Like they're showing up in this like full spirited way. And so to them they have to add this extra layer or label or title because it makes them feel comfortable and safe. Amazing. But that doesn't necessarily mean that like I have to. Own it. So this is what I'm working through, like how much do I have to own it, right? Yeah. And so, yeah, yeah, it, it really just, what I've settled on is Mando, your role is to live above reproach. So like, continue to sharpen your character. So the people who may look at you that way, even though you look at yourself. In a similar standard, like don't make a bone-headed choice that is just so dumb that you're just like, ah, I just, I just failed the whole mission. Right? And so right now, like what I am exploring is putting some clear stakes in the sand for my expectations of myself making some agreements on. If somebody else, uh, tries to project their expectations upon me, which ones am I saying? I'll receive that and own it, versus which one is, am I saying like, that's not for me? Yeah. And so, uh, like that's what I'm working through right now. And like one of the biggest things, I was having a conversation yesterday and then I'll like throw it back out to like, ask some more questions. I was like, yo, one thing that I am really not good at my memory. Just doesn't like remember lyrics or words. So like, it doesn't, I don't remember like verses I can't recite something, right? So like, if somebody's like, yo, what do you think? I, I can like, think thematically and be like, yo, like here's the theme of goodness.'cause like I've read a lot of, you know, biblical words, but I can't be like. Yo Matthew 16 verse four. Like, like I can't, I just don't, I don't have it. It's not there. And so I'm like, what's mine to do? Right? Yeah. Very Nathan like, and here's what minds to do is, and I own this the other day, minds to do is. To not pursue perfection, but to pursue presence. Hmm. And so, like no matter what the situation is, can I own the present moment and whatever comes through me in that present moment is right for that moment as opposed to trying to be perfect, say the right scripture, perfect. Guide somebody to the right word. Perfect. Like that. I can't own that. It's just to be present. So that was a long tangent. Uh, but that's where I'm at today. I love it. One of the things that I think that I'm taking away,'cause like I said, we're both still exploring this idea, right? This is the thing we're exploring right now. Yeah. Something that I think I will repeat in my next conversations is this idea of like, one good indicator that you are being more true to yourself is that people start associating what they need with the way that you are without you claiming that thing at all. Mm-hmm. That's good. That's really good. People are calling you Rev. You don't even know the definition of the work that goes into the term, but what they are getting from you is the thing that they're like, what I need and what I get from this person, the way they move in the world, I need to give that a label because it makes me more comfortable or more confident, or that's the thing I need. That's the thing I see. And so like they're mirroring. What you owning who you are looks like to them. Yeah. Yeah. It's hilarious that you're like, I don't need to live into whatever that job description is. I need to live into who I am. The job description will write itself, and that's, that's just so. There's like a, there's an, there's a weekly email about this next month. You know what I mean? Like, I, I'm, I'm coming for this. I don't know what this hand motion is, but it's something Yeah. You're grasping for it. You're like, yeah, I can feel it. Oh, man. That's excellent. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna set this one down and I'm gonna ask this other question. This is interesting because I think we're kind of touching on some of these thoughts. So my question is this, how do you feel about the difference between going alone and going together? And so like groups coaching, friends, whatever. Maybe I wanna go exclusively sort of like groups and coaching. I think we all think of friends as going together. Okay. And I'm like, no, I wanna be more specific and intentional about this. How do you feel about the difference between going alone and going together, like with intention with other people who intend to also go together? So groups and coaching, I wanna focus on those two. Okay. So the first thing that came to mind when you asked this is Yes. And, and the reason why is because as a OneIC, I feel compelled to first, and we talked about this before, explore an adventure, get a piece of the puzzle. Elevate my intuition. Do something that gives me authority to guide the team in a certain direction. And so like when it comes to going together, I, I desperately want to go together with a team because the story is just that much cooler when you go with a team. But the reason why I say yes and is because I believe before I. Could lead a team in a direction I needed to first go alone for a significant amount of time, so God could give me the vision to be able to see things differently. Pure example right now is artificial intelligence. The way that my archetype, the leader, dreamer. Explore adventurer. When I think of ai, I think of a predictive algorithm that is giving you 99% qualification on like what you want to receive back, given the question that you asked it, and I'm like, that is cool for a lot of things. As the one I see, like what's the 0.1? Hmm. Like, like for me as a whole, I feel like my whole responsibility, like in the story is to go explore outside of what the predictive algorithm can offer. Yep. And what I've stumbled upon is it's just your heart. For me, lemme not, you know, project for me it's heart. And so AI is an endless matrix of logic without feeling. There's just no emotion there that I can grasp. Right. And so some person on the team. Has to move unapologetic, unwavering from the heart. And so like my role on the team is the voice that's always saying like, is that the most pure hearted path? Is that the most pure hearted response? And to just own that responsibility and not force anybody else to make the pure hearted choice, but to always be the voice in the room and be like, I hear you. I hear the logic. Is there a pure hearted response to that thing that you would do if you remove the fear? Are you only making that logical choice because you're scared of doing the thing that you know is the most pure hearted response? And so all that to say, man, like owning my to-do, owning the heart on the team, I couldn't have owned that position if I didn't first go alone. Hmm. And now come back and like, all right, Nathan, let's do a thing together. Or, all right, C nine group, let's do a thing together. Or, all right, whoever, God sends my way. Like, let's do a thing together. And my role is simply, Hey, I feel like I believe in my gut and my heart and my soul that the pure hearted path is north. Yeah. We need to go north, like, like all the other stuff. Cool. Whenever we're having conflict, whatever, just ask Mondo, which way is north? All right, bet. And like, that's all I have to own because like I'm just a compass to the north star, right? Um, so yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now. Let me dig a little more, maybe tactically, I just have a couple of curiosity questions around this one. Okay. So like, you've navigated this in a couple different scenarios. One, as an entrepreneur, two as. The Rev, I guess right now. The mano. Yeah. As Armando right now, without any other things, you're navigating this, you navigated this as the black tech guy, and previous to that, you navigated this as the hoop addict. Right. So in all cases, as far as I understand your history, when you were playing ball, you were on a team, you had a coach. That's how the structure works. You might have had multiple coaches, you certainly had a team. You may have had many teams. I don't know, like definitely. Um, I can think of like playing travel sports now and one of our mutual friends has his kids in soccer and like that kid is on two teams currently. Mm. Right. And so I'm like, oh, okay. Well you might've been on multiple teams. As the black tech guy. You were in C nine, you were part of a fellowship. You were part of an incubator. You were like, then those things all assigned you coaches. C nine doesn't assign you a coach, but you understand that I'm getting at. And so like you definitely understand that you need to go, that you need to grow alone. I talk about this path of like, growing alone, going together, and then growing together and how each one of those stages sort of like is to the next stage. Right? Yeah. And I posit that that is a, that that's a movement toward good. Mm-hmm. And so like. Yeah. Would you say that you were attracted each time to teams and that you would look at other people who were alone and be like, are you in that season? Or are you just stubborn? Like Yeah. Yeah. I would say that I was attracted to the trophy. Hmm. As if I wanted to be the Captain America that led us to whatever villain we were supposed to defeat. Like I just wanted to own that role, like being on the front line. Whereas now it looks different where I'm more in the middle of the squad. Mm-hmm. Saying that that way is north, but. Whatever the game is. Entrepreneurship, sports, politics, growing a church, whatever, like, whatever the game that we're playing is my role is helping the human say, my name is James. My name is Nathan. My name is Sarah. My name is whatever, because the more people that I can help surrender doubt. Help surrender, despair, help surrender any disdain for somebody outside of themselves. The more people that I can help surrender those qualities, those unhealthy qualities, the more in sync the squad is. Hmm. And if we are all healthy, it doesn't matter what game we're playing, we'll reach the finish line together. And so like is, does that mean first place, second place, third place? I don't know, like whatever God's plan says will be, but it's really like, can we all get there together without somebody falling off? And so with Nathan on the team, building the right systems with mano on the team, like helping build the right psychology, right? Like we're going this way. Can everybody own their own seat and can we get there together and hunk it, hug it out? Kumbaya, it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be challenging and all those things, but like again, the present moment is where it's at. Can I get up every day and be like, man, I'm so excited to go to work with Nathan or the team that we're all part of. Like, it just really brings me joy to get up and know that every day we can work towards doing something with this squad. And that brings me joy. So instead of continuing to like piggyback that, let me, let me throw it back to you because as a second in command. Like going alone and building systems. If nobody else is on the squad like that, that's, that doesn't seem like it's the most fun. And so, you know, for you, how do you feel about going alone or growing together? Well, I think that I have to battle this all the time because on one hand, my natural instinct is to clean up, to guide, to focus, to whatever, right? But like, none of those things matter without a mess, an explosion whatever. You know, like being a focusing lens does nothing if there's no sun to focus. So I need like an overwhelming force. Yeah. To then actually focus. I love going into a closet and building a system and also like what you said, like if there's nobody to build the system, like how many incredible systems have I left in a drawer somewhere untouched, because there actually was not a team or a person who really needed them. I actually have these moments now where. I will say, oh, I just need to build something. Like I'll be very stressed out. I'll be whatever. And I'll be like, I will recognize, I do recognize now that sometimes I need to build a system that no one will ever use. Mm-hmm. Because like I need to get that energy out. I need to get the joy of doing the thing that's like me, but then also. There's nobody who was asking for that. And so just because I built it doesn't mean it fucking matters. Like I just needed to get the joy of doing that thing out because what I've discovered is going alone is you can, yeah, but going together is like. It's more fun. There's other people who have your back when you're not feeling awesome that day. There's um, right, there's like, oh, I can re-anchor to somebody else who has the direction so I can focus on like my bit, you can hold your bit or vice versa. And so like we, we get to split up the work. Sometimes it means we get to be specialized at the work that we are doing. Sometimes it means we both get to play generalist and we're like running across the hall doing the different thing at the different time. Right. I think the other thing about this is going together and I want to anchor this to more of like a professional, going together with a coach or like with a peer group. So like we're both in Coalition nine and we've been in coalition nine for five years. That's crazy. But there are so many CEO peer groups. There are so many CEO peer groups and on some level my brain is like, well, it must work. We don't have 10,000 small business as a program for no reason. There is so much wisdom and sanity, and sometimes frankly you get like the sanity of going in and being like, here's what I'm doing, and it's working. And then there are six other people around you who are like, yeah, we can't figure that out. And you get to be like, okay, well then it, I it is working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's, there's validation both in your success and also in your struggle. Either direction. It's so good to have six people around you to sort of like check what you're doing.'Cause if you're killing it and they're all like, what the hell? You're killing it. You're like, oh good. I am killing it. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not alone in killing it and wondering if I'm actually behind. I get to show up in this room with a whole bunch of other people who are trying to do the same thing, and they're like, no, you are killing it. And I'm like, that's not about killing. And sometimes when I show up and they're all like, you're not killing it. And I'm like, oh, well you are. What are you doing? Like facts, right? Like you can't ever get that much lower. And if people are in the room with you, they can't get that much. So you're all holding each other. To sort of like a higher standard, whoever gets ahead, pulls the other people up. Uh, whoever falls behind gets pulled up. Like, so that idea of like, I just can't get past the idea that seconds this kind of human are so attracted to teams, working with OneIC, like being this person who does the cleaning, the navigating the whatever. But also that we as seconds tend to stay alone all the time. I cannot understand why we are people who like RAB go after that thing. But then we don't join peer groups. We don't get coaches. I was just curious how you were reflecting on that, and I wanted to hear from you about it. Yeah. One thing that really hit me when you were telling that story. Was you said, sometimes I go into a closet and I build this amazing system that nobody else is going to use.'cause I just have to get it out. And I feel like that's where you and I really align because what I've discovered. Is I need to go the furthest way possible and explore this adventure that nobody else is willing to explore and stretch myself in a way that nobody else is willing to be stretched in my sphere. So then when I come back my, let's just say my C level. Is everybody else's a right. It'd be great if I show up with a all the time, but because I stretch myself so far, that however I show up is really good to everyone else. And so when I hear you say like, I just have to go build stuff independently, and you're like, I built this amazing structure for three years. I mean, I, I really think about your matrix, your business matrix that you spent so much time building and I'm like, bro. Whenever I think about that thing, I'm like, that was you in a closet building a thing that no other person is gonna look and be like, I'm going to use that. But it was for you. So whenever you step in, you're like, well, I can take a piece, your C is a class for anybody else around you.'cause like, you built this thing that is just amazing. So, uh, I think that's what happens when you go alone. You, you stretch the norm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Going together is this, and you also need to be able to do this thing over here. There is growing alone and that is valid, and there is going together and growing together, and those things are different. They're both good, but you really do need to travel this curve. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I like this a lot. And one other thing that you said. Even when you get to growing together, you probably do still need to check this, like growing alone space. You don't really want exclusivity either direction. Yeah, yeah. Facts. Facts, a hundred percent. Together all the time. Hang on. You need 20% of the time to be alone. A hundred percent alone all the time. Whoa. Like, whoa. Uh, yeah. That's awesome. This was good. Yeah, this was good. Okay. I'm gonna honor this where it's at and I'm gonna put it down right here. Awesome.

Nathan 37:09

Hey, it's Nathan again. If you made it to the end, that's awesome. I have a couple ways you can go deeper if you're interested. If you resonated with the way that Nathan talked about himself, I am Nathan you might be what we call a Second. This is an identity, not a role. We have a couple ways to dig into that curiosity. You can take our am I a second assessment on our website at how to be second.com/assessment. It is directional, not definitive. You can grab the book, how to Be Second from our website or Amazon or almost anywhere you like to buy books, including on audio read by the authors, myself and David Hartman. If you resonated with Mondo, I have a couple things for you as well. Second seat.org focuses on sponsoring seconds to be able to sit in the second seat at Youth-Focused Impact organizations to help them scale. Second Seat is always looking to talk to community impact organizations who are interested in getting a second, and for funding groups who want those types of organizations to succeed. If you're a for-profit, how to be Second has a matchmaking, not recruiting service, where we make connections between first and seconds, where there's a relationship, energy, skill, and compensation match. Finally, if you're inspired by what we're doing here, you can support how to be second at How to be second.com/support. Thanks again. I'm looking forward to our next conversation.