Reel Talk & Banter
Ever wanted to just sit around and make fun of an old movie with your friends? That's exactly what Reel Talk & Banter is all about. Join best friends Omari Williams and Jay Richardson as they rewatch movies that came out at least a decade ago. It's a mix of a film review and a comedy roast, where they discuss everything from the plot to the terrible acting, and even if the film has stood the test of time. Get ready to laugh and hear some hot takes on your favorite (and least favorite) classic films.
Reel Talk & Banter
A Tree, What is a Tree?: Supergirl (1985)
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A superhero movie with a $35 million budget should not leave us asking, “Did you see the wire?” But that is exactly where our heads go after revisiting Supergirl (1984), the oddball DC spinoff that time mostly left behind. We are Omari Williams and Jay Richardson, and we bring the same Real Talk and Banter energy as always: clear opinions, lots of laughs, and zero patience for nonsense that could have been fixed in the script.
We break down the movie’s core setup, Argo City, the Omegahedron power source, and the whiplash jump to Earth where Selena the witch immediately starts bending reality with almost no consequences. Along the way we question the film’s shaky internal rules, the confusing “inner space” travel, and the moment to moment power changes that make it hard to feel real stakes. We also talk about the few bright spots that keep the watch from becoming a total loss, especially Faye Dunaway going all in on villain theatrics and Bianca delivering the funniest reactions in the film.
Then we get into the stuff that truly derails it: the high school subplot, the uncomfortable romance, the love potion logic, and the Phantom Zone detour that raises more lore questions than it answers. We close with our full ratings across plot and writing, acting and casting, production and cinematography, music and sound, and cultural impact, ending at a final score that tells you exactly how we feel. If you have ever wondered why this Supergirl movie became a punchline, hit play, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave us a review. What score would you give it?
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Welcome, Background, and First Reactions
SPEAKER_01Hello and welcome to the Real Talk and Banter Podcast, the movie podcast where we discuss and review films that are at least a decade old. I'm Omari Williams.
SPEAKER_02I'm Jay Richardson.
SPEAKER_01And today we are discussing Supergirl.
SPEAKER_02Supergirl.
SPEAKER_00That's not even correct.
SPEAKER_02That's not it at all. That's not the theme song at all.
SPEAKER_01I think you started to try and do the Superman theme, and then you ended up just doing the was that Foxy. This is actually the 1984 forgotten, forgotten British superhero film. Was it rightfully or wrongfully forgotten? We will get to the bottom of that in this discussion. Let's go for it. Like abstractly? Yes. Okay. Okay. So gem is accurate then. Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. This film was made on a budget of $35 million. It grossed $14.3 million. That is not a good sign. That is what we call a deficit. And you you know they did not make their money back.
SPEAKER_02Is this the first movie we talked about that didn't make the money back?
SPEAKER_01I believe it is.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I believe it is. Yeah. And I mean, and to miss it by $20 million is just wild. The film stars Helen Slater as Kara Zorel or Linda Lee or Supergirl, whatever you want to call her, Faye Dunaway as Selena, Peter O'Toole as Zaltar, Hart Botchner as Ethan, Brenda Vicaro as Bianca, Peter Cook as Nigel, and who else mattered in this movie? Maureen Tafey as Lucy Lane. Oops, sorry. And then Mark McClure as Jimmy Olsen, reprising his role as Jimmy Olson from the mainstream Superman films. Did you know that Christopher Reeves was supposed to cameo in this movie?
SPEAKER_02No, I did not.
SPEAKER_01He unsurprisingly was like, nah, dog, I'm good. He just he backed out of it. They they did explain him, his absence away with a quick line of dialogue. It was when Selena got in the car and they said that Superman was off-world, like a trillion light years away, which kind of made me feel like that's how far away Christopher Reeves wanted to be away from this film. It was it was a bit too much. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So he might have seen the horses and was like, not today, dog.
SPEAKER_01He may have seen the what? The horses. The horses? Yeah. Well. Alright. Let's just dive in. Because I don't have a whole bunch of like trivia dealers here.
SPEAKER_02Thank God, because I didn't look on anything.
SPEAKER_01So this movie, right? When you finished watching this movie, what was your energy like?
SPEAKER_02What a colossal failure. What was my energy like? No, it was I was just waiting for it to be over, to be honest. Like I I missed some parts because I stopped watching. I was just listening at this point. Yeah. There didn't happen. I was like, wait, what the fuck? How did that happen?
SPEAKER_01So there are there are definitely gaps in my notes because after a while I stopped caring about some of the stuff that was happening. And I'm like, I'm like here scouring Amazon. I'm like, is there like a like a speed up button that where I can watch this and double speed until I get to parts that I actually care about? Never found it. And it took me. Do you remember how long it took you to watch a movie? Did you just watch is it was it just a two-hour movie?
SPEAKER_02I just finished it. Yep. Well, I I I I'm able to speed it up. So I had it on like 1.5.
SPEAKER_01What were you what are you using to speed it up?
SPEAKER_02My superbox.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. You have your superbox thing. Yeah, God, I could not do that. So it took me three hours to watch this two-hour movie because I kept stopping to be like, what the f what? What? Like I started taking notes. Like literally five minutes into the movie, and one of my notes here is I'm like, how am I supposed to get through this movie if every 10 seconds they're gonna say or just do some crazy ass shit? And it was a lot. So Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think my first my first note was what the fuck is inner space?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. I have that in here too. Yeah, let's okay. Let's let's get in, right?
Plot Synopsis In One Minute
SPEAKER_01So quick, quick, quick, quick, quick synopsis, and then we'll just kind of go scene by scene as rapidly as possible and get out of here. But it's a supergirl movie, right? So Supergirl is in her home city, which is Argo City. There's a powerful power source device thing that escapes the city, lands on Earth. Supergirl goes to Earth to, I think, to retrieve it was the reason why she went to Earth. I think she forgot. A witch finds it, shenanigans ensue, and Supergirl is able to retrieve the item after being banished to the Phantom Zone briefly. She escapes that, defeats the witch, reclaims the item, and makes it back home to save Argo City. That is the long and short of the movie. How'd I do that?
SPEAKER_02I mean, that was it. I got it. I didn't need to watch, I didn't need to sit for two hours. That's it.
SPEAKER_01So the opening credits took two minutes and 39 seconds. And that already put a bad taste in my mouth. Because when I started the movie, I'm like, I was like, oh, wait, is this the end? Like, because I'm like, why? Why? It's just a score, just names on the screen. I'm like, but I was like, alright, no, this now the movie's just starting. So it took a whole two and a half minutes to get through. And then my first
Argo City Confusion And Lore Gaps
SPEAKER_01kind of like header for this. So this first section of the movie takes place in Argo City. I don't know how you are or where you're at with your Superman, like DC lore type of stuff or whatever. Did Argo City ring any bells for you? Did you know how did that mean anything to you? Or you were like, oh, I guess that's just where she lives?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I'm not super into Superman, so it's just Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Argo Argo City is a city from Krypton, right? Which everybody knows Krypton got destroyed. So Supergirl is a complicated character. I'm not a Supergirl expert, but I do know her like origins and stories. It's been like rewritten a whole bunch in like comic history or whatever. But the whole Argo City of it all, it's like that city was it was preserved and saved. I think more commonly accepted is like Brainiac, because Brainiac would go around Brainiac being a big Superman villain, he would collect cities from different worlds. So that was one of them where he had collected, shrunken down, and so that little slice of Kryptonian life was like preserved or whatever. None of that has any bearings on this movie. Argo City just exists someplace, as you kind of mentioned, in inner space, which whatever the hell that means. I think that means a quantum realm because how she just pops up on Earth, it just doesn't make any sense, right? But before we get to that, literally, you have this dude, Zaltar, who I don't know, I guess he's a Kryptonian warlock or something. Like I he starts off the movie just saying so much things, and I'm like, I think I ended up saying that what did I say? I I said, is he just gonna just go around saying crazy shit to make us think he's smart when he's just a lunatic? Because half the things he said was just it was so absurd. I have so many notes on this first like five-minute, seven-minute scene of the movie, and it's all me just being confused and baffled right out the gate. Like, how was this opening scene for you in Argo City?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, it was it was bad. I was like, I think the note I have is why is he shouting? It was just shouting information. I was like, what is happening? I I thought, you know what? I kind of gave grace because I was like, because I'm not like super into Superman or supergirl. So I'm like, well, maybe I'm just missing some lore here. So I was like, fine. I was just accepting it as is. But got you. Yeah, it was just a bunch of nonsense. That's when I sped it up. Because at first I was gonna like, I was gonna leave it, and then it was just like nonsense. And I was like, oh, yep, I'm not gonna do this.
SPEAKER_00So I just sped it up to just go do it as best I couldn't gobbly gook. He so the he makes a tree, and she's like, Oh, what's that?
SPEAKER_01He's like, It's a tree. Like, what do you know what a tree is? And then, like, then he talks to her about six-dimensional geometry, which fine, but I'm like, so you know and have an understanding of six-dimensional geometry, but you don't know what trees are. I just don't know how that makes any sense.
SPEAKER_02And then to the whole movie. She was like, I was like, Do you know what things are or don't you? Because something you're using easily, and then other things you're confused about. And it's like what is happening?
SPEAKER_01When they made that tree comment, I said, I said, so trees only exist on earth, I guess. This is my first real note. So trees only exist on earth, I guess. Okay, cool, but I hope they keep this same energy as the movie progresses. We didn't even exit this scene with them being consistent because later on in that same scene when Zaltar gives her that magic wand or whatever the hell that orange thing was, she draws a frickin' dragonfly. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_00You said what? Oh, a big mosquito.
SPEAKER_01Whatever. I I thought it was a dragonfly. But regardless, I'm like, we're supposed to believe that she made that up in her imagination, a creature that exists on another planet that she's obviously ignorant about. The same planet which trees baffled her, but she imagined a fucking dragonfly, one of the most complex, strangest insects on our planet. She's just like, oh, Lotida, oh wow, look at this. I just, I'm like, guys, we're not off to a good start here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't want to say ditto, but I yeah, I just feel like I feel like I'm missing something here, but maybe I'm not maybe just really that bad.
SPEAKER_01No, man, they they hit the ground running. And even me with some type of DC background, I'm like lost and confused. And I'm just, this doesn't when what really threw me is when Zaltar was like, oh, we have two great power sources here in Argo City.
SPEAKER_00And then he pulled one of them out of his pocket. I was like, whoa, like, why is this in your pocket, dude?
SPEAKER_01Like, I don't understand. Like, this is one of your great power sources, and you just have it in your pocket, like it's a freaking fidget spinner. I yeah, I just oh my gosh. That's when I was like, okay, so Zaltar is gonna be our problem.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he was stupid. I was like, this is dumb. But he so this thing, the Omega headron.
SPEAKER_01Omega headron, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, powers the whole city. Without everybody dies, supposedly. So Blaze oh ends, game over. So he pulls it out, plays with it, and then I guess someone sees him, so he puts it on the ground and kicks it off to the side. It's like what the fuck is why also how did no one notice this thing was missing? Like, this is your power source for the entire city.
SPEAKER_01I don't understand. And then they said there were this said there were two great power sources, right?
SPEAKER_02I I did not hear two, but okay. I thought they said two.
SPEAKER_01Maybe I missed that. I thought it said two because and he said this is one of them. So then my thing was like Kara was able to create life when she combined the Omega Hedron with her magic wand thing, because that dragonfly she drew all of a sudden became three-dimensional, and then it started flying around. So I'm like, okay, this thing is clearly very powerful as he indicated, but I'm like, what is the other item doing? So then I was like, is this like a class, like a group assignment thing where only one kid is doing all the work? Because I just don't understand, like, I don't understand. So apparently, their city is covered in paper?
SPEAKER_00I literally said, I said, why is there city?
SPEAKER_01Um, why is there city covered in the plastic that I use to put my produce in? Like it just like flew right through it. Like, I don't understand. Shouldn't you guys have something more powerful than plastic? Yeah, some kind of glass or something, you know.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Magic force fields? Like, I I don't know. Yeah, force people probably be smart, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But apparently you could just you could just jump right through it when you want to. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So then they said, well, so then Kara's parents came out for their only line of dialogue. They were super dramatic. And it was like, Zeltar, like, what have you done? And first they were like, he's like, oh, Zaltar, you stole the omegahedron. He said, No, he said, You're wrong. I lost it. And I was like, No, he's right. You did steal it.
SPEAKER_00Kara lost it. Then he lost it. Yeah, well, Kara lost it technically. So I was like, what the hell?
SPEAKER_02When he kicked it off of the zag, then she also lost it. No one cared about this thing that apparently sustains life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no. And then after they said, like, no one can escape or leave her, Kara immediately goes into, I guess, a spaceship that was just in the middle of just sitting there and she leaves right away.
SPEAKER_02So what was that about? I don't know where this spaceship came from. It looked like she was just sitting down and all of a sudden it kind of encased her and picked up. I was like, oh, okay. So you can leave. So what are they talking about?
SPEAKER_03I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_01There was no like, there was no there was nothing to stop her at all. She just left. It was super easy. Okay, like she just And then I thought, okay, first of all, I didn't know what she was doing.
SPEAKER_02But when she when she first when she picked up, I'm like, oh, I thought maybe she didn't know what she was doing either. Like she just sat down and all of a sudden it it became my space. Like, oh, okay. But then I was like, oh, okay, she's going after it. But I'm like, how the hell does she know where it is?
SPEAKER_01Like, oh. I don't know. I I have no idea. I I don't because I guess we find out later that that bracelet, that bangle thing that Zalza put on her can track it, kind of sort of. Not really. So maybe she was pulled to its location with the bracelet.
SPEAKER_02Oh okay.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. That's me trying to make sense out of nonsense.
SPEAKER_02You're you're guiding me through this, man, because I'm telling you, I was I was lost.
SPEAKER_01I'm trying. So Kara goes through, so she leaves and she starts going through this interdimensional warping, whatever the hell. And then we have
Selena The Witch Meets The Orb
SPEAKER_01we have a hard scene change to Earth. Like the edits of this movie was so jarring. Where we'll be doing one thing or with one set of people, and then all of a sudden, with we're with we're in a whole different setting. So we we get introduced to Selena and Nigel. Selena, who is a witch, I believe, and Nigel, who is Warlock, I believe, I guess. Yeah. Because they're just they're kind of like they're openly talking about like well, when she first started talking, it seemed like she was not of that world.
SPEAKER_02You know how she was like, I thought she was like an alien something. I was like, oh, this isn't Earth. This is like Earth something, like Earth X or something, like something that looks like Earth, but not really Earth. But I think it was like it.
SPEAKER_01I thought that this was Earth, but she had also like she was hiding on Earth, preparing to make her own move on Earth or something. I don't know. But the way she was speaking, it was like, yeah, she's not of this planet. It seemed that way at first. Okay, okay, okay, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, but then so then the Omega Hedron.
SPEAKER_02I took it as like she wasn't on Earth at all. I was confused about where they were. I was like, what is this?
SPEAKER_01But okay, I got you now. So the Omega Hedron falls from the sky practically onto her lap. And what threw me is that it felt like she immediately knew what it was or what its potential and capabilities were, which also made me be like, she's deaf, she's gotta be, I guess she's Kryptonian specifically. So I'm like, how did this other Kryptonian get? It was so confusing, and then she just ups and leave essentially upscans with the thing. Right before that happens, though, right? While she and Nigel are talking or flirting or whatever they're doing, and he starts talking about the secret to invisibility. Did you clock this? No. Oh my god. So she says something about world domination, and he says, You oh, you would need to be invisible, and she said, Oh, you would suggest that. And he's like, Everyone, all you need for invisibility is five black beans and the head of a dead man, one bean in his mouth, two in his eyes, and then she cut him off, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Like, can you let him finish? Because I was so curious, you know, where he was going with that. It never comes back in the movie, though. So it was just yeah, it was just him. I don't know what they were doing with that, but yeah, I don't know. And then uh ancient grimoire gets mentioned, black magic. So I guess that kind of just was to help us be like, all right, these are people doing dark magic.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I do remember the thing about the beans and the eyes and one in his mouthing, but I completely wrote it off. I didn't meant nothing and it was not useful, so I just was like, okay, whatever. I was more concerned about how the hell. Well, she didn't go too far, but Nacho was like across the field, like almost immediately. I was like, what the fuck? He booked it. Yeah, he booked it. He left. So it doesn't make sense. Maybe he's a warlock, can you blink or something and go about his business? Because he disappeared. I was like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Didn't even try and protect her. So yeah, so she did that chanting thing and whatever, right? So she she leaves, she leaves Nigel alone and she she pieces out with the Omega Hadron. So
Supergirl Arrives And Effects Fail
SPEAKER_01now, Supergirl arrives on Earth, and of course, she falls from the heavens like the Omega Hadron. Wait, no, false, she came from the fucking bottom of a lake. What was that? She does. I don't know. That's why I'm like, are they in the quantum realm? Because I don't understand, like, how because Omega Hadron came from the sky, but why did she come out of the lake? And then she comes out of the lake and she's all of a sudden dressed as supergirl. Bro, I was like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02Why is she in this clothes all of a sudden? Like, how did I was so confused. I thought I had to rewind it. I thought I missed a step. I'm like, how did she get into a superhero outfit? Like, where did it come from? Did she pack it? Like, was there some kind of costume store somewhere in the dimensions? She's stuck on a super target. Like, who the fuck is this? Like, where did it come from?
SPEAKER_01Apparently, one of her powers is to change her outfit.
SPEAKER_02But Superman doesn't do that. Superman physically takes his clothes off.
SPEAKER_01No, none of them. They're not, she's not supposed to be able to do that. I don't know why they made that, like, where she just can just transform her clothing. I just don't understand. Why would you include that in there? That made no sense. Did you peep? Did you see the wire pull her out of the of the lake? Yeah. Oh my God. I was like, yo, nine. They tried. Come on, man. That's bad. They tried. It was bad. I saw the freaking black wire pull her up. I said, This is tough. This is tough. They tried, man. God. So I guess so we have a little scene where she's like discovering her powers. She discovers how strong she is. She crushes a rock. Apparently, her heat vision can give life to flowers instead of set it on fire.
SPEAKER_02What the fuck? That was, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be yelling, but I think that was my that was my almost. I turned it off at this point. I almost wanted to turn it off because I was like, what the fuck? Since when does heat vision not set things on fire? Make it grow.
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_02Mad. I was so mad. I had to stop and like, okay, let me get some water and settle back down because that should piss me off.
SPEAKER_01This was a tough watch. It really was. So then she started like figuring out that she can fly. She looks completely ridiculous. So now she's like full on flying, and this is where the Supergirl theme kicks in. And I was like, okay, this is a nice score. It was cool. I did like it. I did like it. Yeah. I got sick of it by the end of the movie, though. It was just like come on whenever she like showed up for like two seconds and then turn. It was just like it wasn't a great use of the score, but it was it was a nice score nonetheless. Easily the best part of the movie. And then that whole the green screen where she was flying over the horses
Selena And Bianca Steal Scenes
SPEAKER_01running, just bad. Bad, bad movie making. Anyway. Alright, so now we're back to Selena. And so at this point in time, when Selena gets to her home or wherever she was staying, and she was like looking at Colin Bianca's name, it was at this point in time where I decided that Selena might end up being my favorite character in this whole thing. And um I think that held true. I I enjoyed Selena just her take on everything, what she was doing. It was very over the top, but it was given for me like seasoned actress who is too good for this role and just trying to have some fun. A hundred percent. Like that's that's that was that's what I got. And so when I did uh little research on Faye Dunaway, it confirmed essentially that that she she's won an Oscar, she has an Emmy Award, she has three golden globes, she has a BAFTA, like you know, she's she's a real deal. So life, yeah, yeah. So and she's a thespian and everything, like she's she's a real act. So I could tell right away, even though it's like you could be like, yo, this is terrible acting or whatever. I'm like, no, she's just hamming it up, like she's just having fun. That's the only explanation for this. And I enjoyed what she was doing. Were there any characters, actors, anything about this movie that you were like, okay, I'm I'm vibing what they're doing, or everything you were just like, man, fuck this, this is terrible.
SPEAKER_02I like Bianca. I thought she was gonna be like, she was making me laugh the whole time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I feel like that would be me if I was in this situation. Yeah. So I I assume she was human and not also a witch, she didn't really know anything. She was like a henchman type of thing.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, yeah. Just like she's friends with a witch, I guess, but we never saw her do anything, yeah, except be hilarious. You're right. She was pretty cool. I I like definitely Bianca and Selena's chemistry was perfect. It was it was just good. It was, yeah, really good stuff.
SPEAKER_02I I I like that you explained it a little if if it's true. I'm gonna go with it's true because it didn't make sense that Omega Hedra just drops in her lap and she immediately knows how to use it, immediately starts chanting or whatever. Because anybody else, a magic ball falls in the sky. You're not gonna know what to do about it. It's just like, oh, okay. You might accidentally fall into figuring out how to how to do it, you know, but no, she immediately started and then just it just progressively got more powerful without practicing. I don't know what was happening, but uh you know, they had all kind of rules about this thing about it has to be out of the box, it'd be in the box, it has to be into this little enclosed thing.
SPEAKER_01She just decided these rules, yeah. It was weird. So wait, so you're saying you're saying that my theory about her being an alien is real? That's what you're saying.
SPEAKER_02I mean, yeah, because how she I mean, either that or she just hella lucky of figuring out things, which I guess she just had to maybe do an instruction manual that also fell, and we just didn't see that.
SPEAKER_01Or maybe like uploaded into her brain when she touches it. Maybe that was another thing. I had a problem with this this all-powerful source of energy that powers a whole city. I feel like it should be anything that touches it. Like, why are people just handling it with their bare hands? That seems absurd.
SPEAKER_02Especially, I mean, maybe where the hell are they from again?
SPEAKER_01Crypt Krypton, Kryptonians?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, maybe Kryptonians can do it because it's protected or whatever. But regular people or people from not from that world, it should crush them or radiate them or something. It can power an entire city, but also be casually just thrown about. Like, I don't understand that.
SPEAKER_01Like a freaking uh Fushigi.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like what the frick? It was a wicked. They had weird definitions of power.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. So I think were they in Chicago? Is that where this was kind of bro?
SPEAKER_02Bro, I was all over the place. It wasn't until they she showed a map. I was like, oh, this is supposed to be Chicago. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I I think I heard on the radio or something, someone says something about Chicago. So, but I wasn't sure. So yeah, so they're in Chicago.
SPEAKER_02I thought they were in Philadelphia, I thought they were I thought it was in DC for a while. I was all over the place with the landscapes of like, what is
Truckers Scene And Missing Stakes
SPEAKER_02this city? And then yeah, I saw the map and I was like, oh, Chicago. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guess. Yeah. So when she lands in the city or whatever town outside of Chicago that she was in, and these two horny ass rapist truckers pull up, this scene, right? Completely just baffling, right? My thing is this is a world where Superman exists. Yeah. We know that. At one point in time, they even said to her, Oh, you're like Superman or whatever, and she said, Yeah, that's my cousin. So why on God's green earth would you try and rape Superman's cousin? What is happening here?
SPEAKER_02It didn't make any sense. They just thought they were men, and this this little flimsy blonde girl can't do anything about it. But the crazy part is like she showed her power immediately. She grabbed Homeboy by her two fingers, lifted him up by his chin, and threw him. And homeboy with his little like pocket knife's like, ah, that doesn't scare me. I was like, doesn't it are you serious? Like you work out, don't you? I'm like, what the fuck? You just saw your man get thrown.
SPEAKER_01There's a couple times like I wrote in all caps in my notes because I'm screaming, right? I'm just like so I started to get angry. She literally asked one of the dudes, she said, What? Yeah, she asked the dude, why are you doing this? Yeah, which I was literally here being like, Why are you doing this? And he said to her, That's just the way we are. And I started screaming, and I said, No, that's the way you are written. But why were you written this way? This doesn't make any sense. This is terrible. This is just terrible, okay? Even for the 80s, this just doesn't make any sense to be happening. Like, if this woman comes in here and she's stupid, it's like, oh shit, that's super man's cousin. It's like, maybe you might. Oh shit, selfie is not even a thing at this point in time. It maybe you just like you think she's super hot or whatever, but there's no way you would try and attack her. That just makes no damn sense.
SPEAKER_02From there we had that note. I have I I have that note of I don't know if they were just trying to pad the runtime because it didn't add to anything, it didn't take away from anything, it didn't show her. We already saw that she was super strong because she lifted up the rock, so it made no sense other than to show these truckers are rapey, which is weird. Like, why that did nothing to the story.
SPEAKER_01Makes no sense. It was dumb. There's a version of this movie that's 20 minutes shorter than what we watch, and ugh. I would love to have those 20 minutes back. Yeah. That's fair. If I want to get like talk about this movie like thematically and everything, which Selena being able to use the power with the orb's power without any consequences, is just bad storytelling. Like there were no I mean, yeah, she ultimately like dies or whatever in the end or gets trapped in a mirror or whatever the fuck happened to her. But throughout the whole movie, we didn't see her like she's not like aging, like her life forces in being depleted, she's not becoming like an unrecognizable person, she's not like mutating, she's not there was no drawbacks to her using this power. So it just like this whole one thing was like a big fucking cartoon. Like it was just like a terrible one, it just didn't make any sense. There were like no stakes really in this movie for anyone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this one it was very bad storytelling, just from the what you know from movies and other life force type things, like you always have to have some kind of consequence for using it. And just freely wheeling that shit. And yes, about I it took me a minute to realize she was actually a witch. I thought I thought she I I don't know. I don't know what I thought. I thought she was a regular person with just some kind of like weird dreams about taking over the world. I didn't actually think they were being like literal. And then and then it got to her just immediately start chanting. I was like, oh, okay, so she's a witch or a sorcerer or a psychic. Uh I don't know what she was actually doing for a while. When they got to where she lives, I thought it was a fucking cave. I was like, and then but then but then uh but then they start talking about how they they have to have hot water and fucking a mortgage, and I'm like, I'm on a cave?
SPEAKER_01What is this? So what yeah, so I guess it's a it's an abandoned like amusement park ride or something, right? Like I think it was like a fun house type thing that they were like living in, or a haunted house type thing with a car, like a train thing. I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why they set that as her lair or home or base of operations. It's very random. And I'm not mad at it though. So here's my thing, right? I feel like for a while, the movie was, you know, there's some movies that are just so bad they're good, you know, where it's just it's funny, you're watching them, and you're like, this is fucking terrible, but you're having a fun time with how bad the movie is. The movie dipped into that territory a few times, and I thought that's what this was gonna be, and then it just went into full-on bad, just boring shit that doesn't make sense. And I feel like the version of this movie, this was never gonna be a good movie, but the version of this movie where it's just a hundred percent campy, it's silliness, you know, just over-the-top stuff, where it's terrible, but like I'm laughing more and just like rolling my eyes or whatever. Well, not rolling, but I just laughing more at what's happening. I would have had a better time with this movie.
High School Detour And Creepy Romance
SPEAKER_01Because right after this, to me, is where the movie takes a big dip, which is when Kara when she's walking through the woods and we see her clothes change, and I'm like, is she a witch too? Because how the hell is she just changing her clothes and her hair?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01But Kara deciding to enroll into a fucking high school in the middle of hunting for this very powerful, very important source of power to keep her people alive was absurd and baffling. And this is when I was like, fuck this movie, I'm out of here. Yeah, yeah. I hated all the high school shit. None of that. That's when I stopped taking notes. This is terrible.
SPEAKER_02I think no, I I I was trying to keep up, but yeah, I think I I I definitely dialed back at this point. At this point, I was just like, I'm just getting through this because yeah, it made no sense for her to try to go to school. I like at first, at first, I thought that well, maybe she has to blend in. But then I was like, but no, Superman is very well known here. People have recognized this. So she could just fly around a supergirl if she wants to. I mean, she doesn't have to flip back and forth because she's not trying to maintain a light there, she's just trying to find this thing to take it back. So, why she decided to become a high school student to also to on her app on time search made no sense and it was just a waste of time. But the one of the funniest things happened. Uh-huh. When she when she starts, when she first enters the school and tries to go to like the principal or whoever that was supposed to be, uh, one of the other girls passed by her and they're like, Oh geez, we're just scrapping the bottom of the barrel for new students, aren't we? Who says that? They knew nothing about her. Nothing about her. She looked just like she looked just like them. I mean, you know, they were all you're in uniforms, so it was just like weird.
SPEAKER_00Just pass her in the city.
SPEAKER_01And then we're like having a conversation about something else, and then they stopped to make that comment about her. Yeah, that was pretty, that was pretty funny. But the other thing is, is like I'm unclear like how old is Kara supposed to be.
SPEAKER_02Big dog. When the landscaper thing popped up, I was like, hey, what is happening here?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming to that right now because talk about cringe, okay? But so Helen Slater, when this movie came out, she would have been like 21 years old. So she was like 20 when they filmed this. I guess we're doing the 20-year-old passes a 17-year-old thing. It's not like it was uncommon, especially in movies at this time. So I guess I can let that slide.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01However, since you just mentioned it, let's just get there. This Gardner dude was obviously a full-grown fucking man.
SPEAKER_02Full grown man. At least 25, if not 30. This man was out there.
SPEAKER_01I thought he was like 32. I just I looked it up. He was 27 years old at the time, roughly.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01So he's at least 10 years older than her in the universe of this show. What the fuck are we doing? Like, why that whole love scene, that whole love connection? Like, this is gross. Like, what is happening right now? You just told us that she's a high schooler, she's posing as a high schooler, she's a child or whatever. And like that's that's what makes the whole sending her to school thing even more of a terrible idea. It just it just makes the movie gross for no reason. I oh my god. The decision making for this film is just confounding.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, there's much. I'm not doing that. I was like, this is a grown man. I didn't know he's not gonna fall in love with her. And then he does. I'm like, Jesus Christ, 80s. Like, you could have something different. Like she could have been working at like the local, like, you know, coffee shop or whatever. Like working in a library. She could have she could have been a teacher. Shit, she could have worked at the school as a teacher. Thank you. He's a substitutive teacher.
SPEAKER_00But no, and they just or infiltrate a college, you know, like there's so many other things, like just college, they could go with college, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, come on, man. So oh my god, when she so Danvers is funny because in in like the Supergirl show, and I think in Supergirl lore, like her last name is Danvers, like Cara Danvers is who she is. So that was like a nod to like Supergirl comic lore with the principal being Principal Danvers. Here's a super 80s thing for you. Her naming herself after a Confederate general, crazy work, even for the 80s. Crazy work.
SPEAKER_02I liked it. Linda Lee.
SPEAKER_01I was like, why was there's a picture of this? I mean, it's the 80s, so I guess people were still like, oh yeah, Robin E. Lee, that's the man. I don't know. That was crazy. But we're in Chicago. I don't think Chicago would have pictures of Robert E. Lee just posted on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I don't know why he was there. It didn't make sense.
SPEAKER_01That's crazy work. All right, so yeah, this whole school thing. We're like, what's her goal? Why is she on Earth? What's the whole point? She gets introduced to Lucy Lane, Louis Lane's cousin. I guess everybody has a cousin in this damn movie. She's reading a Hulk comic book,
Love Potion Chase And Runaway Truck
SPEAKER_01which was, I don't know, a weird Easter egg that was in there. So let's skip to the scene where, unless there's something you want to talk about before I'm missing, but I want to skip to the scene where Lucy Lane is with Jimmy. They're at this diner thing about to eat. Cara's like walking the street and they're like, oh hey, Kara, like come. So this is after actually Selena lured Ethan to her lair and hit him with this like love potion thing, which not a good love potion.
SPEAKER_02Corruption. Fall in love with the first person you see. Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with that.
SPEAKER_01So tie his ass up. I thought, you know what I thought was gonna happen? I thought Bianca was gonna be the first person he saw. And then it became clear that no, it's gonna obviously be super girl. I just I didn't expect him to like walk away. I don't know how he got out. I don't know. And then he didn't see anyone the whole time? Because it took a long time for him to lay eyes on anyone, apparently.
SPEAKER_02Bro, pissed me off. Man, he's just walking down the street with his eyes closed and then just avoiding traffic, and I'm like, I guess traffic was avoiding him at this point in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I have that exact note. I'm like, so he hasn't seen anybody this entire time. I'm gonna go. What if you what if he opens a baby? Like, what's gonna happen here? Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I th I almost thought he was gonna fall in love with Nigel because Nigel was outside leaving when he left. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, what is going on here? As I was gonna get it, it was so it was a long walk and a con convoluted path to get to him falling in love with Kara, right? And I literally have in my notes uh when they showed the whole like he's staggering down the street for like way too fucking long, and then Selena sends she uses her magic to bring him to her, which operates this heavy machine that's chasing him down the street now. And it's like, dude, the the destruction in this small town with this thing. I got so annoyed. I literally wrote, Oh my god, can Kara just save the day already? I was so annoyed. Like, just fucking swoop in there, man, and stop this shit from happening. Let's move on from this scene.
SPEAKER_02Which he didn't. I mean, she barely did.
SPEAKER_01She barely she didn't even save her friend because she took off the the the thing that Ethan was in and flew away with him to go make out with him. Lucy is still in a runaway fucking vehicle.
SPEAKER_02This should make me like Lucy ran out. Oh, it's a runaway truck. I'm like, what the fuck? That thing is steering. Like, it is not a runaway truck like we're talking about. It is clearly making turns.
SPEAKER_00Then she gets in it and she's like pulling levers and she bumps her head like uh and she fucking passes out.
SPEAKER_02I was so dead. I was so dead at that. At first I thought somebody threw something at her because I was like, what the fuck did she pass out? I guess she it just whipped her around so much, she hit her head. I was like, this is crazy. Because this thing is a slow move, this is a like a back row type thing. It's a slow moving vehicle. Like, well, come on now.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, why didn't Kara just stop the vehicle? Just like take his wheels off or something. Like, why did she rip the fucking fucking bed of the thing off? I don't understand why she did that. That that you're not helping the situation at all. The vehicle is still going out of control.
SPEAKER_02It still went, it still crashed into some diner or something afterwards with the thing removed. It yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. Alright. So what was funny is after all this happened, you could hear the police showing up and there's like, the police say that we have everything under control. I was like, what? No, you don't. It's over. Like, okay. Yeah. At this point in time, there was still an hour left in this movie. Um, yeah, there was still an hour left in this movie at this point in time, and I was this is when it started really grating on me. I'm like, I have like 20 minutes left in me. You know, like I can't do another hour. Alright, so then we have some more creepy shit between Ethan and Kara. Uh he brings her like flowers and stuff. I did laugh when she like turned around and he tried to hide in the shadows.
SPEAKER_02But I thought it was Nigel at first. I was like, oh, Nigel's gonna get her, and then it was him. I was like, oh, this is even worse. I would I would have rather it'd been Nigel.
SPEAKER_01Just like turn like into the shadow, like or maybe she can't see me. And I was like, dude. Everybody. I also laughed when he tried to pick her up and it couldn't. That didn't work.
SPEAKER_02Jesus, bro.
SPEAKER_01I thought I was.
SPEAKER_02I was like, see, this is why I don't pick up women because the way I would not be able to recover, I'd be so mad. I'd be so bad. I'd be like, listen, the night's over. Good night. That'd be so fucking bad, bro. He tried to and she was like, What are you doing?
SPEAKER_01What are you doing? Oh my gosh. Alright, so here's one of my favorite parts of the movie. Selena shows up, and Selena introducing herself. I thought was cool as hell. My girl said, and I have the whole quote for you. Because she's like, Who are you? And she's like, I am Selina, Diadonus of Catania, Priestess of Seknet. I am the ultimate siren of Endor. And you, little lady, are trespassing on private property. I don't know what half those fucking words meant. I don't think they really meant anything. But I love the energy. I love, I love the commitment to the bit. And like literally, Endor makes me think I'm like, like, from Star Wars? Like the planet in Star Wars? I'm like, is she just saying random shit right now? And I meant to look up dad, and that's like Catania. I did not look up any of that stuff. I assume it was mostly gibberish. But I just like the way she delivered that line, Fade Dunaway. Like again, I'm like, she's in her bag. She's having fun. I actually saw that she had a fall and out with the director. The director? Yeah, the director. Who is Geno Sazwark? He's French. Can't say that. He did Jaws 2. Did you ever see Jaws 2?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So the guy who did Jaws 2 is who did this. But she had a far note because she wanted to try. She's never done comedy before and she wanted to like ham up her stuff and be a little like funny. And he he said that she needed to be the straight, like the straight woman, the straight man in in her bits, in her scenes. So she was a little annoyed about that, which I'm with her. Like, let me ham it up, man. Like, this is not a good movie, dog. Like, like, what do you want me to do? You know, Kara flies away with oh, she almost kills Ethan because she flies him straight through a fucking roof in the like the car, the bumper car thing at the amusement park.
SPEAKER_02Ethan's been dead from the time uh Selena spun him around. I was like, oh, this man is dead. There's no way he survived that. And then yeah, she flew him up through a roof. I'm like, oh, he's dead again. Like, man, this is waking up, like, what?
SPEAKER_00What's going on? I'm like, you're dead, bro.
SPEAKER_01And where does she fly him? To the southern tip of Florida or Mexico?
SPEAKER_02Or I do not know, nor do I know how he was gonna walk back. I was like, can you fly too? Because what that was the ocean.
SPEAKER_01Am I right? Like they were by some large body of water. They were either in the Gulf or so. They were no longer in Chicago. So why she flew him there, why she was gonna leave him there.
SPEAKER_02I just was gonna try to protect him. You know, but man's just like, nah, I gotta get back to Linda.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna walk. Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda, Linda. I don't know. Then he's weird.
SPEAKER_02Then he then she like, hey, relax. And he's like, oh, don't make me give a rough with you. And I was like, but he acknowledged that that is Supergirl or Superman's cousin. He's like, oh, cool. Don't make me get rough with you. I'm like, mm-hmm, okay. So you think you're gonna beat Supergirl?
SPEAKER_01I know. But then he was like, well, even if what you said is true. You just saw her fly, dog. You still think it's not true?
SPEAKER_02You saw her fly? She lifted you and that freaking massive claw thing up. Like, you know, she's strong. Like, what are you talking about? Sitting stone. I think that. But yeah, once he was like, Oh, I'll I gotta get back there. I'm gonna walk. I was like, oh, okay. So I guess we'll see you in a week because ain't no way you're getting back there. You don't even know where you're at right now. I don't know where you're at.
SPEAKER_01And like behind him, it was like all treeline.
SPEAKER_02So it's like Yeah, it's tree line and like some kind of abandoned ocean, abandoned beach with some sand and an ocean.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, what are you gonna do? We don't need we don't even know if you can survive going through wherever forest or jungle is behind you. So yeah, he was about to die. So okay, so Nigel has this like staff of the devil or something, and they're able to teleport Ethan
Phantom Zone Detour With Zaltar
SPEAKER_01back to them. Supergirl comes after them, and then do you know what happened next? I I know what happened, but you not having that big like DC superhero kind of thing, Superman like lore. Did you know what happened to Kara where she went?
SPEAKER_02She went in the phantom realm.
SPEAKER_01The phantom zone, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Did you know that because it said that? I guess it said that eventually. Did you know that right away that's where she went?
SPEAKER_02No, I didn't know where she was. I have no idea. Okay, but yeah, eventually Zaltar says it.
SPEAKER_01That's right. I forgot Zaltar said it. So the Phantom Zone is an interdimensional prison, right? But for Selena to just send her to the Phantom Zone and to know because later on, Selena also said something about her not being able to escape the phantom zone. The Phantom Zone is not supposed to be common knowledge for just regular fucking human beings. Like that is some otherworldly space crap, alien crap. And I don't know what spell she used, I don't know if it was just the orb, but because I'm watching the show and I'm like, did I miss something? I'm like, is this the Phantom Zone? I'm like, how did she send her to the Phantom Zone? That doesn't make any sense. And I guess the movie just did that so that we could have a reunion with Zaltar because they did say at the beginning, which I forgot, I forgot to mention this, right? At first, Zaltar said that he's gonna search the ends of the universe to find the orb. And then he's like, Well, I guess I'll just go to the Phantom Zone, you know. And I'm like, you just said you were gonna look for this thing. Now you just want us to throw you in prison, dog. Like, can you go find our power source? So they set up that he was gonna be in a phantom zone, which he's reunited with Kara, and the Phantom Zone scene was way too long for me. How'd you feel about it?
SPEAKER_02I think that it was it was about it matches everything else. If the whole movie was way too long, first of all, like it could have been done a while back, but fine. We have to have this kind of depressing Zaltar is like, oh, I've been trapped here forever. I'm like, like two days? Like, is time different here?
SPEAKER_01Time is different there, I'm pretty sure. Time is different there, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But then if time is different there, then isn't Argo City like destroyed already?
SPEAKER_01Time could also be different in whatever fucking inner space. I'm just saying, like we you're right, but Argo City is existing in some inner space that we know nothing about the physics of it. So five.
SPEAKER_02But they they just they established we only have like two days worth of reserves or whatever, which okay. I guess you could have a 24-hour day, or you could have a 300-hour day, I guess. Sure.
SPEAKER_01Well, it could be like 24 hours for Argo City, is like a week or a month in human time, yeah. And then it's like a year in a phantom zone or whatever. I don't know, time dilation and all that crap. I don't freaking know.
SPEAKER_02Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
SPEAKER_01Whatever.
SPEAKER_02Okay, we can move on with that. It's hard to argue spaceshit. Space shit is spaceship. Okay. No, it's it was not only long, but it was also confusing because, yeah, at first, like you said, like I said, I didn't know where she was. I didn't know how exactly Selena was sending her there. Again, it just makes me further and further believe that she is either of that world generally, or it was like downloaded when she touched the orb or whatever, so that she knows these things existed. Because yeah, that doesn't feel like you should just be able to like banish people to that phantom zone where you know all the bad guys do it, which it had nobody else in there. I guess they all got sucked up and died. I don't know. But not only was it just long, it was just hella confusing. It was his whole emotional uh I give up, him like trying to uh you put some squirt in your mouth. I was like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. I don't like this squirt shit. Like, what are you doing? What the hell? And she let him do that. Like, what did you do? She did let him do it.
SPEAKER_02She did let him do it, and I was like, okay, this is weird. It got weird. You're right. They did kind of try to over-sexualize her a little bit. Like, oh, I'm squirting your mouth, you're gonna like it. And I'm like, he asked like two or three times too.
SPEAKER_01Squirt?
SPEAKER_02He definitely pressured her. He definitely pressured her. Like, you have some squirt now? You want some squirt? Like, okay. Oh yeah, yeah, he was he was useless. And I think he's supposed to be a lot more powerful than that. Like, he was useless.
SPEAKER_01I think he was dumb. Because even like him sacrificing himself. I was like, what the fuck? You guys already made it. Let's walk out of it with her.
SPEAKER_02Also, I was confused. I was like, first it looked like he was like climbing over her, then it looked like he was behind her, and then it looked like she was pushing her up. Yes, then she then he was pushing her up, and I was like, saying Rockface? Like, what the fuck is happening here?
SPEAKER_01This is all an excuse for Uncle Zaltar to copper feel Kara. That's all this was. It was terrible.
SPEAKER_02It was terrible. We can go with that. Okay. Then yeah, she's like halfway up the wall, all of a sudden he's he was right behind her, and then all of a sudden he's on the ground again. And I'm like, okay. I'm with you always. I'll be with you always. And then this gigantic ass tornado takes him, and I'm like, you just left.
SPEAKER_01So I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It was dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Like you like to say dumb dumb shit. Like that was stupid. I was so mad at his self his self-sacrifice. And it did nothing for the plot. It didn't like help her get through. It did nothing.
SPEAKER_01He was just cracking up. Oh my gosh. So meanwhile, back on Earth, after Selena had gotten her powers and everything, well, enhanced with the like the demon devil staff thing, she erected giant mountain with a fortress on the top of it in the middle of whatever this town was. And somehow all the townspeople knew who she was, and they had picket signs, and they were like chanting for Selena to be like taken out of power. And I was like, Did she just win a presidential election or something? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I I don't know. She came down and like you know, tell him who she was because a hundred well, I believe that.
SPEAKER_01I mean, she had that freaking Diadness speech ready, you know, of Catania's speech. She practiced it on Supergirl and she used it on everyone. I'm on positive.
SPEAKER_02Sticking around, like when that freaking mountain appears in the middle of the downtown with a portraits on top. I've just been like, all right, well, time for me to go. But that wand is called a what's it called?
SPEAKER_01Burundi wand? Okay. I like yeah, that's that sounds familiar. I could not remember, and I didn't write it down.
SPEAKER_02That sounded cool.
SPEAKER_01My thing is she talked about wanting to it is sound cool. But she talked about wanting to dominate the world or rule the world, and she set up shop in that piece of shit, small town. Like, what about New York or Washington DC or like someplace of substance where she could actually take over the place?
SPEAKER_02I guess she was just starting small, North America first. Because she's talking about taking over Mexico and the US and Canada. I was like, oh, okay. She's starting small first and then she'll like.
SPEAKER_01Did she list that? Did she say that?
SPEAKER_02She did.
SPEAKER_01That's oddly specific and weird. Okay. I missed that. It's weird.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why, but she has about taking over Mexico and Canada and the U.S. first. I guess we'll expand later, but yeah, she was just really pissed off at North America for some reason. Alright.
Final Fight Mirror Trap Ending
SPEAKER_01Oh boy. All right. Guys, we're at the finish line here. So Kara escapes a phantom zone, and here we are. We're about to have this showdown between Selena and Kara. And yeah, no, it was pretty terrible. Selina powers up with her wand, and essentially she throws bricks at Kara. She throws a statue at her. She shakes the ground a little bit, makes it glow. And then eventually she did bring this demon thing out that was, I guess, ripping her in two. And then Kara just decided that she was stronger than a demon and just kind of bust out of it.
SPEAKER_02Well, Zoltar, Zoltar reminded her who she was, you know.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_02I was like, I'm with you. And then she's like, oh, okay. And then she just flew away. I was like, oh.
SPEAKER_01That is true. That is true. But I don't know what's go ahead. Ethan opened the box thing that orb was in. Which was growing. That was a plot line or sub thing. The box with the orb was growing.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why Ethan knew how it worked, and that if you open it, it gets less powerful. I thought if you open it, it gets more powerful. Yeah. But okay. I don't know if she was being ripped apart or twisted. She was just kind of writhing on the floor with a green screen behind her. Like the hands weren't even lined up with her body. It was she was just suspended in air with the hands around her and then screaming in pain. I was like, okay. No wonder she could just get on.
SPEAKER_01It looked like she was having a night terror or something. Like she was riding on the board.
SPEAKER_02Right, right, right. I was like, oh, no wonder she she just flew away because nothing was holding her. She was just there, suspended. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I don't know. And then that was really it. She I'm sorry, I can't. Oh, she shrunk. Then she shrinks down and flies around Selena and makes a tornado around her, which sucks up Bianca, I think, and then sends them into that mirror.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then that's it. They say the demon goes away. Did I miss anything? That was pretty much it.
SPEAKER_02No, it's it. So did they go to the phantom zone? Is like the mirror portal to the phone?
SPEAKER_01Maybe.
SPEAKER_02We don't need to go any further into it. Sure. Because she came out of the mirror to come to them. So I was like, oh, is it a portal?
SPEAKER_01But did she go into the mirror to get into the phantom zone in the first place? Or did she just end up there? No. She had her, I remember she had her trapped in this glass prism thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and that, because I think that's how I think in Superman won, that's how Zod and them get sent to the Phantom Zone. So that's also how I knew that was a phantom zone, you know. But I don't. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. Which I don't think Bianca deserved that fate. I mean, Bianca was very complicit in some shady shit, but so was Nigel. Like, why does Nigel get to just kind of go off and live his life right now? Nigel's not a good dude either.
SPEAKER_02No, Nigel's a warlock, for sure. I mean, he gave her the wand to really emperor power. So I don't know. I guess because he was trapped in the little ball thing. So they all got away. The ball falls, it cracks open for some reason, and they all just like, oh, run away. And they're like, okay, and they leave, and it was just like Supergirl, Bianca, and Selena. And like, oh, okay. And the shadow demon thing.
SPEAKER_01No, they were still in the room. They were like crouched behind like a pillar and shit. They were all in that fucking room while that was going down. Yeah. Which was weird. Oh, this shit got sucked up too then. Yeah, should have.
SPEAKER_02Other thing, we skipped over it a little bit, but I want to go. Maybe you have more information about it. So the whole spell includes a spider that's trapped in a walnut. Oh yeah. And you drink from there. But now that you opened it, the spider came out. And Ethan, like I guess, woke up. But then when he woke up, he was still in love. Like, what? Yep. Oh.
SPEAKER_01You understand exactly that's what happened.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. Okay. Alright.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's all folks. Yeah, no, listen. You're no exactly. He was supposed so I don't know if they're trying to be like Ethan still loved her. Like the I don't care. I'm sorry. I don't care. Like it didn't make any sense. Because they said that once that opens, the spell is broken.
SPEAKER_02Correct.
SPEAKER_01But that just I guess there was true love between that 27-year-old and a 17-year-old girl. I I don't know. I really don't know.
SPEAKER_03I'm ready.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. As they're leaving, this is the last cringe of the of the movie. Ethan says to Kara, who he knows is Linda, and says it's okay, kiddo. And I was like, nope, nope. You cannot call the teenage girl that you're making out with kiddo. Like that it's bad enough. You can you can't do that, dog. Like that's just that's gross. It makes a gross situation even gross. And then after that, she just flies back home. No spaceship, no teleportation, no nothing. She just flies home. And she goes back through the lake. I appreciate that consistency. She goes back through the fucking lake. So I don't know. Like my last note on my document is I have so with a bunch of O's. I have so many questions. Shake my head. And that's the movie.
SPEAKER_02So is there like a portal underneath the lake that you just jump in there? And okay.
SPEAKER_01I guess I I I literally think they're in like the quantum realm. But then how would she be able to access it like that? So it has to be a portal. I don't know. This movie hurts my head. And not in a good way. Not in a good way.
SPEAKER_02We can we can move on. I'm good with it.
SPEAKER_01Alright. That's Jesus. Okay.
Ratings Breakdown And Final Score
SPEAKER_01Alright, let's rate this thing. For any newcomers, we rate our movies based on five categories: plot and writing, acting, casting, production, cinematography, music and sound, and cultural impact. Everything is rated on a scale of one to ten. Jill what do you have? Plot and writing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're gonna get a solid one on this one.
SPEAKER_01Likewise.
SPEAKER_02Sorry. Sorry, guys.
SPEAKER_01This is such a nonsensical story. Oh my gosh. Acting casting, what do you have there?
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna give it a solid four for Bianca and Selena.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I gave it a three for Selena. And I did Nigel wasn't bad. I think that was Peter Ortool is his name. He wasn't bad. Again, you could also tell that he was another one of these actors that is an actor, you know, a thespian and stuff, and just trying to make the best of the role he was in. Helena Carter, supergirl. So apparently, like Demi Moore and someone else, I can't remember, auditioned for the role. And the director said no, he wanted like an unknown in the in in the role. Oh, okay. Yeah, so good for her. She had a few different roles. I will say, Helena Carter, she has been embraced by the DC family, which is pretty cool. She has voiced Talia Al Ghul in Batman the Anime in the series. And if you watched Smallville, I think she was Superman's mother in Smallville. And if you watch the 2015 Supergirl, well, the CW Supergirl TV show, she was Supergirl's Earth Mother in that show. So she's found a life, like she's been in these different roles. They pay homage to her the same way they did for like a Linda Carter, for example, with a Wonder Woman, you know. So that's cool. All that said, that doesn't affect my score. I was just I just thought I was some cool information there.
SPEAKER_02What uh Helen, what's Helen's name?
SPEAKER_01Carter? Did I mess that up? Slater, sorry, Slater, Slater. I'm sorry. I was thinking Linda Carter. Helen Slater's her name.
SPEAKER_02Because Helen Carter is uh the woman from Swing Todd. That sounds like wait, is that the same woman?
SPEAKER_01Oh, oh, oh, no. No, sorry. Helen Slater. My bad. Thanks for catching that. Yeah. Helen Slater is her name. All right. All right. Production, cinematography, visuals. What do you have there?
SPEAKER_02Big dog. I I don't know. I'd be trying because I recognize that this is earlier in time, but like this is really bad. I have to give it a two.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think two. I gave that bitch a one. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna go one, but I'm like, I'm gonna give it a two.
unknownListen.
SPEAKER_02Where did the 35 million go?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I don't know. Like, what did they spend the money on? It wasn't a cast. Okay, it wasn't a fucking cast, it wasn't a Like sets or locations or anything. No. What did you spend the money on? Like, I saw a fucking wire pulled her out.
SPEAKER_00So it did not go into post-production. The editing was garbage. Like, nah, man. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And and then just the use of green screen. Look, we have masterpieces like Star Wars, Jaws, E.T., all them shits came out before this bitch. And all those movies still look really good. Jurassic Park and everything. Like, even when we we laughed at the CGI Jurassic Park not holding up as well. Like, come on. I mean, I guess Jurassic Park is after this, but still.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Still yeah, but still. There's movies in their 70s and stuff that are great all the time. Even Close Encounters, which we didn't really care for the movie, but the visuals were fucking amazing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Come on, guys. What did you spend the money on? Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna do a deep dive on that. I didn't look up the cost until like right before, so I didn't see it. Um yeah, I have no idea where what the hell. Because yeah, you're right. There was not that many different set pieces to like spend money on. So they could have killed it with whatever CGI slash effects they wanted to do, but I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_01They just green screened the shit out of it. That's somebody stole that shit is what happened. Music and sound. What did you put for that one?
SPEAKER_02I like the iconic supergirl theme. It was running a lot, like every time she showed up, you're right. But you know, the first time it came out, like, oh no. So I give it a five.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I gave it a six. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're right, we're right in lockstep here. Cultural impact.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean aside from the fact there's a new how many supergirls have there been? This was the only 1984 and then now this one in 2026. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yep. There's been no other live action super that's not true. There was a supergirl in the Flash movie that came out a couple years ago. So this will be our our third live action Supergirl. And on the big screen. I'm sorry. Because we just talked about the TV show. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I don't yeah. I'm gonna have to go low on this one, guys. Sorry for all the Supergirl fans, but I'm gonna give it a three.
SPEAKER_01Oh, a three. That's I gave it a one. Why is it a three? How do I mean what I don't think does it inspire anyone? Like, I don't know. It's not like this broke any moles or barriers, and because of this movie failed, it's not like this movie fails so others could succeed. That's not what happened here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's true. I just I I just put I just picked a number. I I I don't want to go one because you know it's comic life, comic book life, so maybe three okay, I'll do two. I'll give it a two.
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah. I mean yeah, I I just I think it has a 20% of rotting tomatoes, I know that much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I saw that. I was like, oh I was like, oh good pick of Mario.
SPEAKER_01I know, I know, I know. And listen, don't get me wrong, I knew this was not gonna be a good movie. I did it as a I did it as a fun pick with the drop of what I anticipate being a massively way better Supergirl movie that's about to come out or that just came out. But I didn't I thought at least it would be fun, and uh it was not fun like throughout most of the movie. Supergirl is a TV show. I enjoyed it. It did get mixed, I think got mixed reviews. I enjoyed it, it was cool.
SPEAKER_02I didn't watch it, but yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Smallville was iconic. Alright, I'll bump it up to a two. I'll bump it, I'll bump it up to a two.
SPEAKER_02Sorry about it now, you bumped it up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Our final scores. We're tied. We both have a 2.6 for Supergirl.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I want to beat you. Let me up to a three on that uh culture impact, please.
SPEAKER_01All right, that takes you up to a whopping
Apology To Viewers And Goodbye
SPEAKER_012.8.
SPEAKER_02I love this movie, it was excellent. Good choice.
SPEAKER_01I apologize. If there are any listeners, any fans that watches the movies before uh listening to us, I apologize for you watching this one. I'm sorry for bringing us into your life, and I don't want to hear anything else after this. I already apologize, so let's move on.
SPEAKER_00Okay, let's move on. Okay.
SPEAKER_01All right. Well, that will do it for our Real Talk and Banter on Supergirl, the 1984 film. To connect with us, to give us some feedback, or just say hello, email us at real talkbanter at gmail.com. That's R-E-E-L Talkbanter at gmail.com. Thanks for listening.
SPEAKER_02Hi. I don't have anything to add. Do do do do do do do do do do I don't know what it is. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I thought you were trying to do her theme because that's not it.
SPEAKER_02I was trying to do her theme, but I don't know what it is anymore.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, go for it. No, I don't know what anything. Oh shit. Alright. I'm gonna stop recording.