All About Me Book-- Setting Your Child Up for Success at School

We're back! And we're bringing you new episodes every Tuesday! 

(Free Resource for School HERE!)

In this episode, Amber catches you up on where she’s been and introduces a simple, strengths-based tool that can help your loved one feel more understood and supported.

Whether your child is heading back to school, starting with a new therapist or service provider, or navigating a new environment at work, this tool can help others learn what makes them them (including how they learn best, what helps them stay regulated and focused, and how to best support them).

Making the All About Me book can help set your loved one up for success while encouraging self-advocacy, understanding, and meaningful support across environments.

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Disclaimer:

The conversations on The Pause That Connects are for informational and discussion purposes only. It is not intended as medical, therapeutic, or behavioral advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation. 

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to The Pause That Connects, a podcast about slowing down just enough to better understand the people we care about. I'm your host, Amber Olsen, a board certified behavior analyst, consultant, and someone who's spent years working alongside families and professionals supporting neurodivergent individuals. Whether you're a parent, a teacher, a provider, or just simply curious about how to help, you're in the right place. Here we explore practical strategies, honest conversations, and ways to build connection through compassion. So excited you're here, and let's get started. Hi everyone. I am so excited to be back for those of you who have been listening for a little while, which truthfully I wasn't sure if anyone was listening other than my mother. Not totally true. I have heard of some loved ones listening, and I had a few people actually find me through the podcast, but it was actually really refreshing after I took a little bit of a hiatus to focus on my full caseload and move and get married. So I but recently I had two people, two families that I had supported in the past reach out and ask if I had planned on updating or uploading any other episodes soon. So that made me feel really excited. And I do feel like I was a little stressed trying to think of different guests to have and really trying to make sure I followed up on all of that again while I was trying to move and support my full caseload. So I think I'm just going to continue this podcast with obviously a ton of guests, but also I had some input that just sharing my opinions, thoughts, experiences could also be helpful. So we're just going to keep on going that way. So nothing really will change. I'm just not putting as much pressure on myself. And hopefully you all will still find the solo episodes enjoyable. So that's the main kind of catch-up I wanted to do. But I really want to make sure that my podcast is helpful for anyone that listens. So there may be some episodes about supporting little ones or early life stages, and then there may be some about adults and supporting them in the workplace. There may be some just about maybe general resources that I think could be helpful. So again, we'll just keep continuing that way. But thank you for sticking around, or thank you for joining, or thank you for accidentally clicking on this and listening this far. But today I want to just really talk about because we're in the season of school, getting ready for school and what we can do to help our loved ones advocate for their needs and talk about their strengths. And this, what we're going to be talking about, I'll also relate to how it can be useful for adults going into the workforce or getting to know someone who's coming to support them. Just a way for your loved one or someone that you know to just sit down and acknowledge their strengths, acknowledge what they're good at, acknowledge and identify what they want to build on. And then also stating what they do need maybe some support with or what that support might look like or how they prefer support. So yeah, I won't keep talking about what we're gonna talk about today, but I what I want to start this off with is, and it'll kind of guide the whole conversation, but talking about an all-about me book. And I'm very disappointed because I cannot remember who or where or what gave me this idea. But about two years ago, something or someone had mentioned how an all-about me book can be extremely helpful when supporting a loved one in an IEP meeting. It was, I believe it was a podcast. It might have been a CEU. If I can find it by the time I post this, I'll link it in the show notes or I'll I'll link it once I do think of that. But how useful just having a book or a little pamphlet or a resource can be during an IEP meeting because this is where, again, your loved one can advocate for themselves, say what's helpful. And I started recommending this for also the beginning of the school year. And this All About Me book isn't like a cute little book that someone puts together because it's a nice activity. It's something that can actually help us understand a person. So again, talking about what do they like, what don't they like, how do they communicate, what helps them when they're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, what that looks like when they're feeling overwhelmed, what are they good at, what are they interested in, what are their goals, and most importantly, in my opinion, what do they want us to know about them? And so, because I think sometimes we collect an incredible amount of information about people, but sometimes the actual person gets lost. And so what I remembered in this IEP meeting is, or the the situation talking about the benefits of using this in an IEP meeting is having a picture of your loved one out in the center of this table during the IEP meeting, or sending it to everyone if it's a virtual. Um, just again, to remember that there is a person behind everything that we're talking about. So today, again, we're gonna talk about this all about me book to put the person in the center right in front where they belong. So one area that is included in this all about me book is are the information that typically gets documented. So what's their name, what's their birthday, even maybe more personal things like who's in their family, do they have any pets and what are their pets' names, that kind of information, just so it's general. And um, it can also be something you work on with your loved one if they're working on them identifying that when asked about it. So you can say, hey, we've been practicing this, who lives at home with you? And the information that can really be useful after that of someone who's at going to be supporting them would be again, really talking about their strengths. Because if someone knows what this student feels that their strengths are and what they would like to build off of and what they really like, you can heavily incorporate that in every way that you're supporting them. And so, with that, too, if they in the book, like I mentioned previously, talk about things that they feel are set them up for success in an environment. So it could be little check boxes where they you walk through them with the book and say, Do you think this helps? Do you think this helps? Or if that's distracting or overwhelming, you just write it out with them. And so, again, some options of what might be a helpful in an environment are like a quiet classroom, availability of headphones, it could be sitting further away from peers, it could be sitting on a wiggle chair, um, just different, different supports like that. And then another page could be what helps them stay focused. It's pretty incredible what just a single fidget can do for anyone to help them focus. Every single time I ever recorded a podcast, whether it was solo or with a guest, I'm a little dysregulated, I'm a little nervous, I'm a little just I can be anxious, even though again this podcast is called The Pause That Connects. It's sometimes it's kind of a way to just ground me, to make sure that I'm just in the moment listening before I'm just quickly thinking of the next question. So having a fidget just kind of helps again that sensory and helps you stay grounded, helps you feel like you just have something you can again fidget with. So during podcast episodes, when I every single meeting I have, whether it's with a client, a family member, a teacher, I always have a fidget in my hand underneath the desk while I'm talking. And then even in person, I'm constantly, I always have a hair tie on me, so I'm always playing with the hair tie. So and other other ways that it could look for other people are twirling their hair or maybe buttoning and unbuttoning a clasp like for a pocket. It could be playing with a keychain. And so just having that visible on their all about me book that fidgets could help and thinking through what that could look like at school. And again, even just a simple water bottle, sometimes drinking water, resets us. And then in addition to what could help, also having a page of what does not help. So maybe it could be using too many words when you tell me what the direction is, if I'm if it's a new task, or only telling me and not writing it down, or not allowing me some time to think about it, some processing time. So those things would not be super helpful for some, for most probably. And just again, continuing with pages like that. And then another page can be what does it look like when I am feeling overwhelmed? So I might be rocking back and forth, I might be squeezing my hands together, I might be, I might be crying, I might be trying to get out of my seat. And so those are again clues for the person on the receiving end, so the teacher, paraprofessional, therapist to know, okay, this is what it looks like. But also, again, it's a way for your loved one and for you to kind of hear about and identify what might be, what it might look like in that moment. And again, making sure that their voice is represented throughout the book. So they are working on it with you because it's pretty remarkable what we may not notice or know about our loved one. One of my favorite things to touch on that I try to tell everyone I know. It was at a conference in San Antonio, and again, I cannot remember the speaker, but I will try to link that if it comes to me or when it comes to me. But it was about how she had been called to a school to provide an or to conduct an assessment, and the teachers were saying he's bouncing off the walls, he has so much energy, and he just he is always trying to run away from the playground, and it's causes a lot of safety concerns, and he just will run out of the out of the classroom or run away from the playground, and we all have to chase after him. And so she just was warned to beware of that. And then when she conducted the assessment, he was really quiet in the beginning, and then he did seem as she described as hyper, and then um when she went out to the playground, she was watching for when he would run, and he did end up running. And then when she got to him, she kind of like guided him back inside to make sure they were doing safe things, because in her mind she had thought maybe he was trying to elope or just run far away. And she took the time to ask the key question of why. And if I go on about just asking why, this will be a 36-hour long straight podcast, but she asked him why, and no either had asked or had fully listened or like provided the space where he could state truly why. And his reasoning was he liked the way that the windows looked when he was running by. He liked how quickly they would pass, and it was very visually stimulating. Why that when that was said in that conference, the entire room went silent because again, we were all kind of initially thinking, well, what is it? Is it the way teachers present things? Is it the way that the room is set up? Is it he gets overstimulated on the playground and it's really loud? I don't and sh I believe, I can't remember, but I believe we were asked if any one of us had thought of that, and none of us, none of us did. And I I don't think I would have thought of that if I was in her if I were the one in her shoes as well. If I saw someone just running away, I would think, oh, they're trying to get away from somewhere. Again, in the field of behavior analysis, we run all these functional assessments and we we don't just look at things for face value and do try to take the time to understand why. But in that first moment, that could be what it appears to be the reason why. So again, we don't always know. And so including our loved ones in conversations as much as possible while they are regulated is crucial. So though that those are kind of like the sections that can be useful to include. And I'll mention this probably one more time, but I have created a free resource that you all can use that is an all-about me book, and it has two different sections or two different parts or versions. Sorry, it has two different versions. So one version has little check boxes they can use, and then one is completely blank where they can write in things, and then you can also always create your own pages off of that. But it is a free resource, it will be linked in the show notes and it will also be available on my website. Again, no strings attached. You just print it off and you complete it on your own, and it can just, like I said, provide as a really useful resource for your teachers. But this can travel with someone by you printing it out and they take it to their teacher and maybe they keep it in their desk or their folder or your teacher or the teacher keeps a copy. If they're a little bit older, they can have screenshots on their phone to have with them. If they are just feeling dysregulated or escalated and maybe not feeling ready to talk about it in that moment, they can just show someone on their phone. But again, and you can make a small version of this so it can be a little bit smaller and they carry it around. So this can just be with them all the time so that their support system is fully supported and knowing how to support him. Lots of supports, but it's the emphasis on that's the reasoning behind this resource is just making sure that everybody involved feels supported and prepared. So this can help, again, you're the teacher. And it's kind of starts that line of communication too by doing it at the beginning of the year. So you can have it in his backpack, and then you can also send the teacher an email with the PDF, and you can say, Hi, Mrs. Smith, I am Billy's mom. And I our family worked on this over the summer, or we worked on this a few nights ago, just to try to help Billy identify his strengths, what he likes to do, and just explain a little bit about himself as well as the supports that can be helpful in making sure that he is the most successful while he is at school and with you. So then that really bridges or opens up that conversation with the teacher of, okay, I feel supported. I see that this is how he should would feel supported. The teacher won't feel as much like later on of like, I heard you had a bad day, like please make sure you do this. So it's just being very proactive, being proactive is key. And then again, it starts that open line of, okay, I'm Mrs. Smith, I'm Billy's mom. I had reached out to him in the beginning of the year, I gave you this. And so again, if something does happen, you can say, Did you happen to see if any of these things were attempted, or were you able to use any of these things? Or if you have any questions on how to use them, please reach out. So it really begins that collaboration on a positive note. And again, if he has a if if your son or your daughter, your loved one has a new therapist, if they have a new speech therapist or behavior therapist, mental health therapist, just different therapists that can support them, you can just give them this book right away. And you can say, hey, we've worked on this. This is just a little bit about them. You may add to it during your time together, you may take things off during your time together, or you just may find it as a useful reference, or hopefully you will find it as a useful reference during your time supporting Billy. And I touched on this in the beginning, but one thing that should never be overlooked is really emphasizing those strengths because I myself, and then if there are any practitioners or providers listening, and then especially parents or family members, you know that oftentimes discussions around support focus on those deficits. So they focus on Billy is always running or he's always fidgeting. So this fidget really helps him, or Billy, and I'm just using Billy because it's just on the top of my mind. It's not a client, it's just a a name I usually use as an example. But Billy, another deficit-focused example would be Billy is constantly just grabbing for things. So this is a way that we can prompt that functional communication. Again, talking like, and so those things may be happening and those redirections are helpful. But one approach that I just always utilize and value is ensuring that we're both talking about the positives and being as proactive as possible because being proactive is also another way to feel have that overall positive feeling of, hey, to make sure that Billy's set up for success, this is what's helpful. And um, hey, Billy really loves dinosaurs, so that can be a way to just make sure that he's feeling happy or a way to check in with him if he is wanting to draw dinosaurs or talk about or read or write about different dinosaurs. Or if it's an older friend and they listen to music, you can say, Hey, Bill, as he's getting older. And but Bill really enjoys listening to just this artist. He loves really listening to Billy Joel. And he that really always keeps him in a happy, calm, good mood, or even talking about Billy Joel. So if you ever notice if he's feeling just well, really at all times you can always offer the music because Bill will always listen. But especially if you notice he's just either dysregulated or maybe just less motivated, can kind of bring Billy Joel into conversation and that'll really help. So again, that's why talking about strengths and preferences is a really great, that's really the only way to approach and have that foundation for success is knowing what they already like and what they're already what they already view as their strengths. So kind of a a short little tip, but again, I just always want to emphasize that sometimes that information that we are really needing most are sometimes the things that we never really thought to ask for. So we need to know how we can help Billy calm down. He's having a really hard time. And maybe we just didn't know to ask, hey Billy, what what does help you feel calm? Or hey, Billy, can you tell me now so that I'm prepared in the future of what kind of environment helps and what kind of environment does not help? So if you take one thing away from this episode, I hope it's instead of asking what does this person need to work on, maybe we just start by asking, who is this person? Who is Billy? Who's who's the person behind all of this information I've just received or have been have been shared with? So little tip to help with school and with employment or adults, again, the the exact same thing can be applied where they talk about their strengths, what they like to do, what kind of environment they work best in, what kind of environment they don't work best in, the supports that they prefer to have with them to make sure that they just feel best and do their best. So again, this can be applied for anyone, any age, any skill set, and it's just a really beautiful tool to help with that advocacy piece. So thank you for joining. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for accidentally clicking on this podcast. And I really hope that everyone has a phenomenal start to the school year. If your loved ones in school, if you're a teacher, this can be something that you can ask for your students to fill out or paraprofessional. So I just hope everyone has a phenomenal start to school if they're in school, start to their job, if they're about to start a job, and just a really, really great rest of your week. Thank you so much for joining me on the pause that connects. If something in today's episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the show, leave a review, or share it with someone who could maybe use the support. You can find more resources, connect with me, or suggest a topic over at my Instagram, which is at the pause that connects, or via my website, www.shinebehaviorconsulting.com. And just a quick note: this podcast is for informational purposes only and isn't meant to take place of professional advice or support. Always reach out to a qualified provider if you need any guidance specific to you or your family. Until next time, keep pausing, keep connecting, and keep showing up with heart. Bye!