06 - Building Bravely - Owning Your Space, Your Dreams, Your Voice

In the sixth episode of this powerful mini-series, Leah reflects on the journey so far - the heartbreak, the hope, and the heart behind Bravely Together. She shares honestly about guilt, growth, and the messy magic of showing up for yourself as a medical mum. From missed parties to surprise ambulance rides, from makeup tutorials to mindset shifts, this is a raw reminder that we are allowed to have our own dreams too.

You'll hear where the community is heading, what's coming in 2026, and why this space matters so deeply - for every mum who’s ever needed permission to choose herself without guilt.

If this episode moves you, know that there’s a whole village waiting for you inside Bravely Together.

✨ Join the membership: bravelytogether.co.uk

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Transcript

Hello my lovelies and welcome. My name is Leah and I am the founder of Bravely Together. This is my six-part mini-series for mums who are navigating the most unimaginable thing that any parent can face. 

Having a child with a life-limiting condition, complex medical needs or any additional needs really that just add to that level of care that our children require. Today is episode six, which is the final episode in this series and I'm hopefully going to bring the mood up a bit from the past episodes and really talk about what it is that we're building here at Bravely Together and where we're at. Now this episode has taken me a while to record, purely because there's been lots going on as I'm sure you will all completely understand and also because building a business is not easy in any sense of the word and when you're a mum and a medical mum and life is a life thing, learning all these new skills that are required when starting your own business, it's a lot. 

I'm not gonna lie, it's been tough but I am walking, talking proof that I am more than capable of doing this. You've heard the podcast right? You know what I've been through. I am so resilient at this point that there is nothing that is going to stop me from creating the Bravely Together community that I can see in my mind and so we're here, we keep showing up and we keep going. 

I am so grateful for all of the incredible women that have come into my world so far because of Bravely Together. The ladies that I've worked with, the ladies that are inside the membership and the ladies that I am yet to meet. I am just so grateful for every single one of you.

So yeah, I just wanted to share where we're at basically. As I'm sure many of you will know, the membership is now up and running and that is going to keep going because it's such a special special space and it's a really incredible value of just £22 a month and it just allows me to bring all of us together in a safe space where we can connect, we can share our stories but we're also allowed to be ourselves completely and really start allowing ourselves to dream and believe in ourselves in what's possible to come. I think when we get to the end of each year it's always a really great time to reflect, of course, on the past year, what's happened, what hasn't happened, what were you thinking about this time last year that you thought you were going to get done in 2025 and we're now at the end and you're thinking shit I never did that. 

That is what Bravely Together is about because as I said life is always going to lie and there's always going to be something that comes up and potentially holds us back from doing the things that we want to do and so yeah I'd love for you to reflect on anything that you thought about at the beginning of 2025 that you thought you wanted to do specifically for yourself and have you actually done those things if you have great what's next if you haven't why not and what can we do to ensure that we do these things in 2026. I think it's so super important to set yourself not necessarily goals but to allow yourself to really think about things that you want and desire in your life that have no relation or connection to being a mum, looking after the kids, looking after your husband or partner, anything that involves anybody else, something that is purely yours for you. For example, this business for me, this community, this brand, this movement that I am building. 

I feel guilt sometimes for the time that I have to put into this for the financial investment that I put into this because of my family but then I have to stop and remember that I am doing this for me. It lights me up so much when I'm speaking to another mum and they reflect back to me how I've been able to help them or I get a message from somebody that has listened to the podcast and they let me know how it's helped them and that's why I'm doing this because if I have been through everything that I have been through then it's got to be for something and I know now and I truly believe that everything I have been through has made me the person that I am today, the person that I am so proud to be and so honoured to be creating this space for all of you listening and so I just want to keep going and keep doing better and building bigger and I have so many ideas of what's to come. Whether all of those ideas are achieved in 2026 I don't know but they will get done at some point because I know I have time and time again shown myself that I can do the difficult things and this is absolutely no different and I know that you have done that too. 

I know that there have been times that you have been so resilient in the moments where you just felt like breaking but you didn't, you kept going and that's why I know that not only can you now start showing up for yourself but that you absolutely deserve to start showing up for yourself and that I am giving you that permission to do that because when we show up for ourselves we are actually showing up for everybody else. By being a better person we become a better mum, we become a better partner, we become a better friend. So I'd love for you to really think about not new year's resolutions. 

I don't believe in January being a time where we need to suddenly start doing something brand new that we're not used to doing and putting pressure on ourselves to completely change. That's not what this is about. I do think that January is a time for stillness, for peace, to find some clarity and to really dig deep really into yourself and think about what it is that you want, where it is that you want to go, what is it that you want to achieve, not for anybody else just for you.

Hello my lovelies, I just want to take a moment to say if you're listening and this is resonating and you feel like this is a space that you need to be a part of then please know that you don't have to do this alone. That's why I created Bravely Together, a private space just for us medical mums, a place where you can feel held, heard and honestly just human. No judgement, no pressure, just gentle tools, lived experience and real support from someone who gets it because I've lived it too. 

If you feel like you're carrying everything and don't know where to put it down, this is your place. Come and join us at bravelytogether.co.uk or just click the link in the show notes. I would love to welcome you in. 

Alright, let's get back to the episode. So as I mentioned before, there have been plenty of times where I have chosen to do something for me and I have felt like it has basically come back to bite me in the arse and I have had to pay the consequences for it. So I know I spoke about in one of my earlier episodes how I used to feel like I had to justify my reasoning for going to the gym. 

I knew that when I moved my body and worked out, I would feel better for it. But the guilt I felt for leaving my daughter to go and do that was immense. Even though she was with a fully trained nurse who I loved and trusted to look after her while I was gone for that hour, I still felt so much guilt. 

I also remember a time where, would you believe, I actually arranged a surprise birthday party for my husband's 30th. I planned it, arranged it all. I made arrangements for his friends that live up north to come down and surprise him and I did it. 

It was all good to go. And that morning, as the day was progressing, my daughter was not having a good time to the point where we ended up having to call an ambulance out for her. And at that point I had to say to my husband, well, I'm going to go in the ambulance with her today because you've actually got a surprise birthday party to go to. 

So yeah, you go enjoy that party while I'm at the hospital with our daughter. And I didn't say that to him in a guilt way. I absolutely wanted him to go and enjoy the party that I had put all my time and energy and effort into arranging. 

And he still had the surprise of his friends being there that he wasn't expecting. So the surprise wasn't completely ruined. I, however, spent that time in the hospital with my daughter and she actually ended up having an NG tube fitted for the first time, which was truly horrific. 

Having to pin your child down for any kind of procedure is just not something that you should have to do. But when it is for the better good and it is something that they need, as usual, us mums do the thing and we dig deep and we get it done. And we're there for them, right? That's what we do. 

And so I missed out on the party. We actually have a bit of a running joke that we are not running or arranging parties for each other anymore because they don't tend to go well. Seems to be a bit of a running theme for us. 

Also, while my daughter was still with us, I actually started up my own business. And it was because I knew, I knew I needed something for me. I needed something outside of appointments, medications, therapies, meetings, phone calls, fighting for equipment, fighting for medications, chasing up, paperwork, you know, all the things.

I needed something for me outside of all of that to just allow my brain to go to a completely different place. And so I actually was a qualified makeup, or I am a qualified makeup artist. That is what I did when I left school. 

And I was presented with the opportunity to join a network marketing business to sell and promote makeup. And it just felt like the perfect thing for me at that time. There was no huge commitment. 

It wasn't a job where I had to show up at a certain time every single day. And I loved makeup. I'd actually stopped putting makeup on myself and making myself look presentable at that point because I didn't have time. 

I just didn't feel it was necessary. But I'm sure as you all know, when you actually take that time to do your hair, put a bit of makeup on, be proud about the way that you're presenting yourself, you will feel so much better for it. And so I just thought this is perfect for me. 

So I signed up. I got all the makeup kit. I was really excited about it. 

I loved the makeup. I enjoyed starting to put makeup on myself again. And the very first time that I went live on my socials and did a makeup tutorial, absolutely terrified. 

This was many years ago. So I know we see a lot of people doing these things now, but back then it was definitely not so common. Putting yourself out there, recording yourself, talking and all the things. 

So yeah, again, that just shoo that. I was like, I've been through some absolute caucus of times with my daughter and my boys and doing all the scary things. I can definitely record myself putting my makeup on and talking to a camera. 

And I did. And I literally finished that live, super proud of myself that I'd done it. And within a few moments, my phone rang. 

And it was to tell me that my daughter was actually in the hospice at that point, just having a normal respite, which was only five minutes down the road. It wasn't far away from me at all. And they were calling to let me know that they'd had to ring an ambulance because she was not in a good way. 

And my brain instantly went to, that's your fault. Don't ask me how or why, but that was just how my brain functioned. It was like, you had a bit of fun, you did something for you and now you're going to have to pay for it. 

And so yeah, as you can imagine, that business didn't go too well. I didn't show up too many more times after that. Of course, that was not necessarily the best time to be, I wasn't expecting to start a viable business. 

It was just something that I wanted to do for me. But because I had that belief system that if I did something for me, I was going to be punished for it. Of course, I stepped back and I didn't allow myself to do those things.

Now I know that that is not true at all, regardless of what I had been doing in that moment, an ambulance would have been called for my daughter. And I think you just have to really desensitise yourself from the negative. And that's difficult when that seems like that's all you're surrounded with. 

I completely understand that. But this is why I've created the space within Bravely Together so that you're surrounded by other women that get it. Because I couldn't talk to my friends about this sort of thing. 

They just didn't get it. And of course, when I did speak to them, they would try to emphasise and understand and support me as best they could. But there was nothing they could say that would make me feel better. 

That would reassure me. Because what did they know? They were going to go back home to their perfectly happy, healthy little families and get on with their regular lives. And I was still going to be stuck where I was in living hell. 

Inside this community, especially when you're part of the membership, and we have our telegram chat where if you're having a tough moment, you can drop in there and somebody's going to be there to support you. Even if it's not me, it could be one of the other mums. Also, when you're having an amazing moment, you've done something for yourself, you're feeling proud of yourself, you can drop in there and celebrate yourself and we'll get it.

You might not be able to do that with your friends because you feel like sense of shame or guilt that you've done something for you and you feel like they'll be judging you for it, that they might think, wow, why is she doing that when she's got her sick kid there? Shouldn't she be looking after them? I get it. I felt that judgement from so many people. Even if it wasn't there, that's how I felt. 

Whereas inside this community where we're all in the same boat, we get it. You don't feel that. You can just do and say and be exactly who you are and we truly celebrate that and absolutely encourage it. 

For me, it's a no-brainer to join the membership. This is like the hub of our community. Going forward into 2026, I'm going to be offering more one-to-one work.

If you do have something that you particularly want to work on, if you are particularly struggling with dealing with a certain situation or anything, maybe you know that you're not looking after your health the way that you should. Maybe you know that you should be doing more for yourself, but saying that and doing that are two completely different things. By having somebody helping you put small, simple steps into place and having accountable actions, that's going to really help you. 

That's something else that you could possibly think about doing for yourself. There's so many other things that I have in the pipeline that I'm not quite ready to share with you yet, but make sure that you are following me on socials because that's where I pretty much drop everything that is going on within Bravely Together. I would love to hear from you, even if you're not wanting to join the membership or the community at this time. 

If you are following me on socials, please, please do drop into my DMs, say hello, introduce yourselves. I love getting to know you all. If there's something that you would love to see me offer within Bravely Together and you're thinking, why isn't she doing that? Then send me a message. 

Let me know your thoughts because this space is absolutely created with you in mind and so any and every feedback that you can give me is so appreciated. And yeah, what can I say? It's been a crazy six months of Bravely Together being up and running. I'm so proud of myself and each and every one of you that have been part of this journey so far and I'm so excited for what is to come in 2026.

So I wish you all a very, very Merry Christmas. Please, please just absolutely embrace all the joy and love. Don't stress about what ifs and what could happen. 

Just enjoy the moment. Be so grateful for where we're at, what we have, who we have and I look forward to hearing from you all and sharing everything that there is to come within Bravely Together with you all in 2026. Take care lovelies and I will speak to you soon.