
Angela's Story - Walking the Final Path Together
This is an informative, intimate and emotional podcast chronicling the final chapter of Angela's life and Hospice experience through the person who knew her best: her husband Aron. Through his eyes, we get a deeply personal look at who Angela was, and her journey with Hospice care from diagnosis to saying goodbye. The series features different members of the Hospice West Auckland team, giving insights into the support and compassion that surrounds end-of-life care.
A Hospice West Auckland podcast.
Angela's Story - Walking the Final Path Together
Episode One - The Diagnosis That Changed Everything
In this first episode, Aron tells us about Angela - a vibrant, compassionate woman who had a way of lighting up every room. We get to know her through his eyes: her humour, strengths and quirks, and the everyday moments that made her so special. Along the way, we hear about the beautiful love story they built together, full of laughter, partnership, and deep connection. We follow her journey from vibrant health to the first subtle signs that something wasn’t right, and ultimately to the diagnosis that would change everything.
Thank you for listening!
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On October 17th, 2023, the Brightmoor family's world was turned upside down when, at the age of just 44, a tumour was found in Angela's brain. One month later, they were introduced to the world that is hospice. This is Angela's story. Walking the Final Path Together, a Hospice West Auckland podcast. Thanks for joining us for episode one of Angela's Story. I'm Esther. I lead the social care team with Hospice West Auckland, and I'm joined by Aaron.
SPEAKER_01:Hello.
SPEAKER_00:Hi, Aaron.
SPEAKER_01:How are you
SPEAKER_00:doing? Good. We're a little bit awkward. We
SPEAKER_01:are a little bit awkward. Yes. I'm Aaron, and I'm Angela's husband.
SPEAKER_00:And we are doing a podcast about Angela and her story. Yes. The aim of this podcast is for us to share her story, both of your journey as you go, went through your care with Hospice West Auckland. Why is it important to you,
SPEAKER_01:Aaron? There's a couple of reasons. So the first one is to, I guess, to help people that have been through the situation that we've been through. And one of the other reasons is to repay hospice for everything that they have done for us and continue to do for us. And then the other side is I get to talk about Angela and I get to share her story with everyone. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:This podcast is going to be real.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:We're going to laugh.
SPEAKER_01:Hopefully, yep.
SPEAKER_00:We might cry. I
SPEAKER_01:think so, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:We might get emotional. We might mess up. We've probably already done that twice already. But that's the purpose of it, really. And at the end of the day, we're getting to share Angela's story.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I think that was, you know, when we first talked about this idea, that was really important to us is to make sure that, you know, that it is authentic, it's genuine, and hopefully that comes across when we're talking.
SPEAKER_00:So who was Angela?
SPEAKER_01:Well, originally, to me, back when I was 17, Angela was Hot Office Girl.
SPEAKER_00:Hot Office Girl, okay. There's a story here, isn't there?
SPEAKER_01:So Angela and I actually... like very first met um we both worked at at farmers okay the department store obviously and um i worked in the tv and audio department and she worked in the in the office and um that hence the reason
SPEAKER_00:hot
SPEAKER_01:office girl and um but she was too cool for me so um I didn't really talk to her. I was a bit shy and stuff like that. So we kind of knew who each other were. I was kind of, hey, how are you kind of situation. And like I said, we kind of knew each other, but we weren't great friends or anything. So you left. So I left Farmers and we kind of went our separate ways. Angela stayed at Farmers. Angela worked at Farmers for 27 years. So she was, yeah, she was great. part of the furniture.
SPEAKER_00:She was hot for 27 years. For
SPEAKER_01:27 years, that's right. And we kind of bumped into each other every now and then, like out and about. It was quite a few years. I hadn't seen her for a very long time. And I went on a random trip to Mangwhai with a group of friends and bumped into her at the Mangwhai Tavern. Yeah, and there's just this connection there. And and that was it from, you know, kind of from from that point on, we were, you know, we were inseparable.
SPEAKER_00:So lots of fleeting encounters and then a reconnection later on of all places among a fight. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:How did you meet there? What happened?
SPEAKER_01:So I'd kind of, I'd been invited by some friends. I kind of hummed and harvelled, was I going to go? Then I decided to go. I think I was at the bar and she went up to my group of friends and said, oh, is that Aaron Brightmore? And they were like, oh, here we go.
SPEAKER_00:What's he done?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I walked back to the group and I'm like, it's Hot Office Girl. It's Angela. She is. There she is. And had one of those moments where, you know, it's Angela. Yeah. Until she said, You don't remember my name, do you? Completely gone. Completely gone from my head. I said, of course I do. She was like, well, what is it? I
SPEAKER_00:was like, well,
SPEAKER_01:it's
SPEAKER_00:not Hot Office Girl. It's not Hot Office
SPEAKER_01:Girl. And she was like, it's Angela. I was like, yes, it's Angela. I was just about to say that. Yeah. You know, we were inseparable that whole night. And then she kind of left with her group of friends and And, you know, it's still texting the three o'clock in the morning kind of thing. And I was like, okay, this is pretty cool. I started dating, you know, went on a few dates and it just got to a point where I was like, this is the one. This is it. You know, like I've never actually been more sure of anything. You know, I was like, she's the one. And, you know, we, we had so much in common. We, you know, we, you know, we, we, we had kids, um, from previous relationships and we, you know, we liked the same music. We liked the same things. And it was just like, oh, this is, you know, almost too good to be true. And yeah, I said that, that was it. We were in, we were inseparable. Um, I think within six months we'd, you know, we were, we were living together and, um, you know, so we kind of blended our, um, our little families together and she kind of, she made it so that, you know, yes, yes, you know, we had children to other people, but when we were all together, it was, you know, we were, we were one kind of family unit. This was how it worked.
SPEAKER_00:And how was she with your kids? How did the introduction go?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it was just really natural. And my two boys, they just liked her straight away and vice versa. And there was no kind of awkwardness or anything like that. It was just like, yeah, let's do this. And like I said, she made it so that you know, there was no us and them, you know, it was, no, no, we, we're a, we're a family. Yeah. I think that, I think it helps that she was, you know, she was a fun person to be around. I know that, you know, that's kind of cliche thing to say, right. But, but she was, you know, she just, you know, and she had this way of just making everybody feel really, really comfortable and, you know, I'm not that person. I'm quite awkward around new people and stuff like that. So if we went anywhere, she made me feel at ease. If I walk into a room full of people I don't know, I go and stand in the corner and I don't talk to anyone because I'm awkward about that stuff. But having her there and she walks into a room and she's just like, let's talk to everybody. So she made me feel comfortable. a lot more comfortable in those kind of situations.
SPEAKER_00:She brought you out of your shell a bit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think so. And she just made friends with anyone. And I mean, that's kind of how we met. At Mangawhai, she'd kind of just gone on a journey by herself through the Mangawhai tavern, making friends with everyone. And that's what she did. I
SPEAKER_00:remember a brightness about her. And I remember nights at the football club, Angela just dancing, you know, and bringing this whole group of people along with her and just having fun and this brightness that radiated from her.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and that's what I mean. She could make friends with anybody and she made everybody feel comfortable and special. Yeah, that's the word for it. And that was... that's just, you know, that's who she was, you know, and she, she just had this ability to, to just make everyone feel comfortable. And I mean, and I think that was, that was proven at her, you know, at her funeral when there was, you know, 400 people, you know, like I think, you know, Sadly, that kind of says a lot about someone when, you know, when there's that many people there to kind of say goodbye to you. But, you know, and to be fair to her, support her and us, you know, through that, through her illness, there was so many people that just wanted to help. And I think that was kind of... you know, because of who she was.
SPEAKER_00:It's a testament of who Angela was. Yeah. So six months into the relationship, you move in together, you blend your families together. Then there was a proposal at some stage.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So we met at the Mangawhai Tavern in February and the following December I decided that, This is it. She's the one. She's the one, and I'm going to propose to her. So Angela has a history with Ruakaka Beach, and her sister and that live there, and they've spent lots of holidays and stuff there. So I was like, right, Christmas Day, I'm going to take her up to Ruakaka Beach. I'm going to propose to her there.
SPEAKER_00:That's a bold decision, Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it means you can't forget it, right?
SPEAKER_00:Wow, yeah. I mean, obviously it's
SPEAKER_01:romantic too, but it means you can't forget it. You can't forget it. You can't forget it.
SPEAKER_00:But if it goes wrong, that's... Christmas Day is going to be awkward for the rest
SPEAKER_01:of your life. Yeah, look, I was banking on it not going wrong.
SPEAKER_00:You were quietly confident, huh?
SPEAKER_01:I wouldn't have said that, no. But, you know, it was, you know, I thought it was, I'm not the most romantic of people, and I thought this is probably about as romantic as we're going to get. So that was it. Christmas Day, we're going to drive up there. Yeah. I'd spoken to her dad, obviously, and asked his permission, and I'd spoken to her sister, and her sister lives up there, so we were going to go and see them for Christmas. I was like, look, this is what I'm going to do, and we drive up there, and it's raining. I mean, it's Christmas Day. Of course it's raining, right? So it's raining, and not just raining. It's a storm. We get there, and... Um, her sister's like, okay, well, you know, while we, while we set up Christmas lunch and stuff, why don't you guys go for a walk on the beach? And you're like, okay, yeah, let's go for a walk. Yeah. And, and so Angela's like, oh yeah, I mean, I guess like, why, why are we going to the beach? I'm like, yeah, let's, let's go for a walk on the beach. Yeah. So, so we go, we go to Ruakaka beach and we're walking along and it's like, It's horrific. Like, it's just blowing at Gale. There's sand, like, just hurtling down the beach. And it's like, this is the least romantic thing ever.
SPEAKER_00:And are you at this stage running in your head? I'm like, is this the time to do it? I'm like, well, I've got to do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we've just... Like, the quicker we get this done, the quicker we can get off this beach.
SPEAKER_00:Hardly get onto the beach.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we walk along a bit, and I'm like, okay, well... I've got to do it. I've got to do it now. And I can't get down on one knee because, like I said, the sand is just hurtling down the beach. I'm just going to get taken out. So I'm kind of like, okay, I just have to do it. So I propose, and Angela, will you marry me? And she just kind of looks at me, and she's... she's smiling which I'm like okay well that's a that's a good thing but there's like this like dramatic pause I'm like are you doing this for effect or what are we what are we doing here
SPEAKER_00:she's keeping you on your toes
SPEAKER_01:yeah and I I'm like you know like it felt like 10 minutes right it's probably like 30 seconds but I'm like what and she and so she hugs me and I'm like She's going to say no, and she's just trying to soften the blow. Your Christmas is ruined. My Christmas is ruined. And I'm like, is that a yes? And she's like, of course it's a yes. I'm like, okay, well, you know, we didn't need the 10-minute pause. Thanks for that. Thanks for that, yeah. And so we go back to her sister's house where everyone's kind of, waiting with a bit of breath. And there's her sister standing there with a bottle of bubbles and stuff like that. But I walk in first. And Angela's nowhere to be seen. I walk in first. And she's like, wow. Her sister's like, how did it go? And I was like, she said no.
SPEAKER_00:She's not here.
SPEAKER_01:She's like, no, she didn't. I'm like, yeah, well, I'm just going to grab my stuff and go home. It's a long drive home. It's a long drive home. And yeah. So thankfully we don't do a 10 minute dramatic pause for them. And she comes in and, you know, and everybody's, everybody's happy. So that was, so that was cool. But that's like, like that whole, that whole situation is like, is our relationship. You know what I mean? Like just, and, and, and we kind of just fed off each other back and forwards, just, you know, and, and it's all just banter and stuff, but that, um, You had a lot of fun with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So proposal, marriage? Well, yeah, yeah. There's a pregnancy chart in the middle there. So when we... So I think we got engaged in December and... say about a year and a half after that we got we got married yeah in um in may and but by that stage angela was seven months pregnant
SPEAKER_00:wow
SPEAKER_01:um it wasn't a shotgun wedding it was all planned previously obviously um and and again like just we just had so much fun you know and like when we when we planned the wedding it was like it was all about everybody else having fun that's all she wanted yeah you know um She was like, look, the ceremony doesn't need to drag on. Once we finish the ceremony, I just want everybody to be having a great time and have drinks and all that kind of stuff. And that's what happened. That's what she wanted. She just wanted everybody to have fun. And somehow every kind of function that we planned or if we had a big birthday party or something like that, I would... be on the dance floor or have a microphone, and she would be walking the route. And that was kind of, the default became how we did things.
SPEAKER_00:That was the Angela and Aaron show.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Aaron? Well, Aaron's in the middle of the dance floor over there, singing his little heart out, and Angela's making sure that everyone's okay and having a great time. So
SPEAKER_00:seven months pregnant, you get married.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Yeah, and then we
SPEAKER_00:welcomed
SPEAKER_01:Taylor into the world. And yeah, like Taylor is such a mummy's girl. Like, man, just it didn't matter what she was doing. you know, like, so, so obviously Angela was still at pharma. So she worked retail. So there was, you know, so Saturdays was, was me and Taylor, um, by ourselves and, you know, we'd hang out and stuff. We could be doing the funnest thing in the world. And as soon as Angela walked in the door, I'm out of here. Um, and yeah, they, they just had this really, um, really special relationship. I'm the kind of, dictator i guess like you know the the strict one and you know these are the rules and this is how we do things and and stuff like that and if there was kind of anyone needed a telling off it was if it was me that you know that did it but angela was the angela had the compassion and uh you know and was the i guess the the safe harbor from, from the storm. And, and they all knew it. It didn't, you know, it wasn't just Taylor and, um, you know, it was, it was all of them. They knew that, you know, if they needed something, they could, you know, they could go to the land. Yeah. Um,
SPEAKER_00:so really close family. What sounds like an incredible love story, reconnecting, um, after you'd known her in a younger life and then reconnecting, finding love. bringing your family together. Let's talk next about the diagnosis or leading up to that point where Angela started to notice changes. Talk me through what happened.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so like there was no There was no major health issues in Angela's history. Nothing at all. You had to work really hard to get Angela to go to the doctor. She started to develop a tremor in her hand, and we kind of thought, oh, okay, like a pinched nerve or something like that. And it was like, maybe you need to go and get it looked at. I said she... It took a lot to get her to go to the doctor. And... As much as I love her, she liked to procrastinate. You couldn't get her to do anything without kind of a decent amount of waiting in between. Much less a doctor's visit. Much less a doctor's visit. So she had this tremor, and it just gradually kind of slowly started getting worse. And so eventually she went to the doctor and said, and was assessed, and they were kind of like, oh, yeah, we're not too sure, but we'll send you to a neurologist. But that's probably three or four months away before you get an appointment. Okay, that's cool. There's not much we can do. They didn't seem kind of overly concerned about it. We got to October of that year, and we– Angela was getting ready for was getting ready to go to work and she was she was starting a bit later so I was working from home and so she was getting ready for work and she was in the bathroom and I looking in the mirror and I said to her I said oh I there's something there's something wrong with your with your mouth and she said what do you mean I said like one corner of your mouth is a bit is a bit droopy and she's trying like she's looking in the mirror and she's like I can't see it I'm like would It's kind of definitely there. I can see it. And so obviously with the, you know, that combined with the tremor, we're like, hey, maybe, yeah, like maybe just ring the doctor
SPEAKER_00:and see what they say. Because the droop of the face, you must have been thinking strokes that was going on. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So just all of those things, right? Like, you know, like I said, with the hand tremor and stuff, like what's going on? And so the doctor's like, you got to go to the hospital, you know, like now. So we're like, okay, cool. So we, you know, we jump in the car, we go to the hospital and this is probably nine o'clock in the morning. And let's go to the hospital and they're doing stroke tests and they're doing strength tests and they're doing CT scans and all of that kind of stuff. And they're like, well, We can't really see it. You know, we've done some scans. All your strength tests and stuff are coming back normal. So we're waiting on the results of one more scan, but maybe just wait for the neurology appointment. And, you know, we'll get you guys out of here. So this is five o'clock, you know, as we've been here all day. Yeah. So we're kind of packing up, ready to go home. And that's when the doctor comes in. And you know it's not good when the doctor kneels down next to the bed. Angela's on the bed and I'm in one of those really uncomfortable chairs in the room. And as soon as she bent down, I was like, there's something really not right here. and that's when they told us that um and that they that the last scan had found a mess on angela's brain so yeah and kind of you know from that from that moment on you you know your world is literally upside down everything
SPEAKER_00:changes yeah
SPEAKER_01:yeah and And you don't know in what way, you know, like, you know, it's going to, but you know, you, you, and you don't know how much. And yeah, it's, I mean, there's probably an understanding, but it's a lot to take in. Yeah. You know. What's
SPEAKER_00:running through your head when the doctor says there's a tumor, there's a mess. I can only imagine the questions that would come to mind for me.
SPEAKER_01:For me, it was anxiety. it was, it was just blank, you know, like, like I wasn't thinking, you know, I literally wasn't thinking anything. I wasn't thinking she's going to die or anything like that. It was just like, you know, we're, we're both in this, in this hospital room being told there's not this news about just crying, you know, and like, we haven't even comprehended what, what that actually means so shell shot pretty much you know and then i'm one of those people that like okay now we have to do this this this and this when i go into i guess logistics mode right and so so after that kind of initial shock i'm like right well now here's all the things that need to be done right now and i guess that's my way of of dealing with stuff right so i'm So I'm on the phone to Angela's sister. Now, Angela's sister lives in Rurikaka, so she's two hours away. And in my head, I'm like, what do I tell her? Yeah. Knowing that she has to sit in a car for two hours, do I tell her nothing? Yeah. Do I tell her what I know? You know, like all of these things. And, you know, so I've got to tell her. I think in the end, I just tell her, you have to come to the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. You've
SPEAKER_00:probably got the kids running through your mind as well.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so the kids have had to have been picked up from school and all that kind of thing. So the next thing is, what are we doing there? And how do I tell them? How do I tell them what we've just been told? This is massive for us to deal with. I now have to tell them. four kids and try and explain that to them. So I wanted to go and get them. So I said to Angela, I'm going to go and get the kids and I'll be back. And I remember walking from the ward to the car and I've had to ring my boss to say, hey... I'm probably not going to be in for the next couple of days. This is kind of what's happened. And he said to me at the time, he said, look, I know it sounds worst case scenario, but people survive these things. People are okay. It's not the end of the world. And I remember walking to the car thinking, you know what? He's right. This it's going to be hard and she's probably going to have to have some time off work and she'll probably have surgery and stuff like that but she'll be okay and I didn't think that because I thought we were special or we were better than anyone else or anything like that I was just like well this just doesn't happen to us you know like And we, you know, we're just a normal little family. Like, and I remember saying this to myself as I'm like, nothing like this happens. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be hard, but it'll be fine. Yeah. And so then you kind of like, okay, yep. It's going to be okay. And we'll deal with this and, you know, and we, let's go and talk to the kids and, And, you know, and, and, and, and get that out of the way, but we're going to be, we're going to be okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So was Angela referred to a specialist? What happened next?
SPEAKER_01:So she stayed, so she stayed in hospital overnight where they kind of tried to figure out what the next, the next moves were. And so we went in on the, we went in on a, on a Tuesday and the following Tuesday, she was having a biopsy. So basically having, well, literally having brain surgery. So it all happened really, really quickly. So all that stuff happened really, really fast. So she's having brain surgery to do the biopsy to kind of find out what it is. Now, in between times, in between that week, we've, you know, they've kind of said, oh, well, you know, this is where it is. It's not a great place. Right. You know, they, you know, kind of preparing us down that road. It was, you know, the tumor was in the center of her brain, you know, so the area where it was was where all the signals for her brain had to go in and out and, you know, kind of through this tumor. So, literally worst case scenario and so she has brain surgery she comes out of brain surgery and like I don't know what I expected I didn't expect I didn't expect the person that came out you know what I mean like she comes out and this is five hours of surgery and then an hour of recovery and she comes out and we get to go in and see her and she's just like I'm really hungry. And like, just like I'm talking a million miles an hour and you're just like, okay, like, I don't know if I'd be so chipper after I, you know, had brain surgery, but cool. You know, that's great. Just like nothing had happened, you know, just totally fine.
SPEAKER_00:And so what's a bit of brain
SPEAKER_01:surgery? Exactly. And so that kind of, you're like, okay, well, that's good. You know, like that kind of adds to this. We're going to be okay. you know, and everything's going to be fine. You have to wait two weeks. They send the biopsy away. You have to wait two weeks for the results to come back. But in the meantime, they're talking like, okay, like, you know, you might be able to go back to work part-time and, you know, but you have to take it easy. You're not allowed to drive and stuff and all that kind of thing. But, you know, like,
SPEAKER_00:should be okay so you're feeling hopeful yeah you're just kind of making a plan we're just waiting for the results yep then we'll have surgery some form of treatment
SPEAKER_01:a hundred percent so we're kind of prepared for those things right but we're prepared for a positive outcome yeah you know um and and by this stage you know we've kind of let people know and you know this is this is kind of what's going on and and she's she's still angela you know she's you know she's just a normal normal self we we get to the you know they come like oh it's 10 to 14 days so we get to the 14th day and by this stage everybody kind of knew well you must be getting results today yeah and so we get a we get a phone call you know the the night before and they're like oh we need we need you to come in And the same way as when you see a doctor kneeling next to the bed, you kind of have that sinking feeling. It's the same when they say, we need you to come in. Can't be great. Can't be great, right? And so the results are back and we have to go in. And that's where the brain surgeon comes in and said, I'm really sorry, guys, but It's basically worst-case scenario. It is a glioblastoma, so it's super aggressive, and basically there's nothing that we can do. We can't operate because of where it is. You can go through chemo and radiation and all of that kind of thing, but ultimately... that's an attempt to prolong life that's not gonna it's it's incurable
SPEAKER_00:she's not being cured
SPEAKER_01:yeah and obviously that's you know that's that's quite a lot to you know to kind of take in
SPEAKER_00:and is that the first time you've heard it be being told incurable
SPEAKER_01:yeah you kind of because I All of these other things have kind of been going on and you don't know. So you're trying to be positive. And that's also the first time we got a prognosis. And so we get a prognosis that's 18 months to two years. And at that time, you're like, that's not much time.
SPEAKER_00:And
SPEAKER_01:then they explain what a prognosis is and everything. And some people can last longer, some people don't. And I'm like, well, that's okay. She's going to be at the high end of that. And they're saying two years. We're going to have three, four, five years. We're going to beat it as much as we can. You're trying to be positive. We're not special. This just isn't going to happen to us. Because
SPEAKER_00:who thinks about that at your age, something like that happening?
SPEAKER_01:A hundred percent, right? Like never in a million years, you know. And we've gone from everything being completely normal to you've got 18 months to two years, you know, to live. And so then... So we drive home. Now, it was late afternoon. It was like four o'clock in the afternoon. We have to drive home. There's never been more silence in a car than, you know, than that drive home because what do you say? You know, there's literally nothing to say. And again, I think it goes back to that first reaction that shell shock is just like, because there's nothing you can do. And when I kind of thought about it in the few days after, it was like, in essence, we've all got a ticking clock, right? The difference is, we we don't know what it is yeah so that you know so at the time i was like the difference between me and angela is is that she's been given a time
SPEAKER_00:yeah
SPEAKER_01:um and and that it was just like like how do you deal with that
SPEAKER_00:what happens next and i'm sure you're thinking you've got your your kids Know that you've gone to this appointment. The family are waiting for you to come back and share the news.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so the kids were, like I said, everyone knew that it was going to be this date. So we got home and the kids were waiting. And Taylor, who was nine at the time, um you know we didn't walk in and tell them straight away we kind of walked we had a you know kind of an hour to ourselves to just kind of try and process how we were going to deal with this situation and and taylor came in and said what's wrong i feel like you're hiding something from me now obviously she knew you know we we had told the kids after the initial diagnosis, hey, you know, this is what they've found. We don't know what that means yet and all of that kind of stuff. And then obviously mums have brain surgery. So, you know, they're aware of that. But again, this is now like, hey, this is actually what all of that means. But they wanted to know, you know, and I think, you know, they needed to know. And from that day that we first went to the hospital and we found out about the mass, there was never anything that was hidden from them. They were told everything. This is what that means. This is what's going to happen and all of those kinds of things. So nothing was ever hidden from them. And And I think that made it easier for everybody. And
SPEAKER_00:there's a lot of talk and thoughts around when you're in these situations, do we tell the kids? How much do we tell them? Do we be honest with them? Which is something I think it would be great for us to explore a little bit further down the track, how you navigated that, keeping the kids informed, but also managing their emotions through this and their grief going through it.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'm interested to know, geoblastoma, as we know, it's a really aggressive form of cancer. And I know I reflect on you talking to me about the changes that you were seeing with Angela. How did you first hear about hospice? What happened? What was your introduction like?
SPEAKER_01:So it kind of... it kind of got mentioned through a mutual friend of ours, you know, who said, you know, yeah, you know, he said, look, if, you know, if you need anything from, from hospitals, kind of, you know, let us know. And then at the, at the same time, through the hospital, we were assigned a surgical nurse who said, hey, look, you know, you, you might want to you might want to make contact with hospice. Now, my initial thoughts around that are, well, why would I do that? She's not dying right now. And I think that was my initial thoughts around hospice, was hospice is a place where you go almost like a hospital visit. And you go there and you never come out. Yeah. So in the space of a couple of days, I've had two people say to me, you know, you might need to make contact with hospice. And I'm like, why? Why do I need to do that? She's got two years.
SPEAKER_00:She's got
SPEAKER_01:two years. Maybe more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. And at this stage, you know... totally fine. She can still do all the things that she could do before. And so that was our kind of initial kind of contact. I was
SPEAKER_00:like, what are these people talking about? Do you know it's surprisingly common how many people think when you hear the word hospice it's a place that people go to die and that it's your last days of life. And I think it's hopefully, through this podcast, we can start to talk about how much more it is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, definitely. And, you know, it's definitely not an understatement to say that we couldn't have done what we did for Angela without hospice. You know, and I mean, that's ultimately why we're here today. You know, like I said before, it's for me is to to repay some of you know some of what hospice did um you know hospice allowed us to to care for angela at home um you know she didn't she she never needed to go to hospital um you know we we looked after her um with with with the help of of multiple services that you guys offer. And yeah, like I said, that's kind of why we're here today.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Thank you, Aaron. I think we'll leave it there, episode one. Next episode, I'm hoping that we can explore the story of after you've been introduced to hospice, what happened next? How did you first get engaged with our service? Who did you meet? What was your initial assessment from our team like? And hopefully we'll have some of the staff including the nurse that provided some care for Angela and coming in to talk through their experiences and supporting you and Angela as well. Thanks for joining us.