Episode Five - A Network of Care

In this episode we are joined by Angela's sister, Sheree, who played a major role in caring for Angela and supporting the Brightmore family. We look at the comprehensive and holistic care that Hospice provided, and the challenges they faced in navigating the unfamiliar territory of the healthcare system. And we hear about some of the treasured moments and laughter that Aron and Sheree shared with Angela during these difficult days.

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Transcript

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On October 17, 2023 the bright more family's world was turned upside down when at the age of just 44 a tumor was found in Angela's brain. One month later, they were introduced to the world that is hospice. This is Angela's story, walking the final path together, a hospice West Auckland podcast. Hello and welcome to episode five of Angela's story, walking the final path together. Today, we are going to talk about the neck of care that was weaved around Angela and the bright more family and Aaron. We've got a special guest with us today, don't we? Yes, we do, joining us remotely from sunny Rua Kaka, I'm gonna, I'm gonna guess is my sister in law, and Angela's sister Cherie, who was, it was a very, very big part of of that care for Angela. So yeah, this is a great episode to have a chat to Cherie. Absolutely welcome Sharon. I'm Cherie Angela's older sister, older sister. So I asked Aaron in one of the first episodes who Angela was and what she was like as a wife. And I'm keen to start this episode off hearing from you who, who Angela was, for you, what she was like as a sister. Um, Angela and I have always been super, super close. Um, there's only two years, nine months between us. So although we were we were very different growing up, Angela was always a really girly girl, and I was very much a tomboy. Um, we always got on. But as we got older, we just grew closer and closer and and she wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend, my confident. You know, I told Angela everything. I looked to her for advice, and vice versa. You know, we Angela was there for both my children's births, which was super, super special. No, we'd been through a lot together, but Angela was always, although she's younger. She was always a very wise person, so I always call her my younger but wiser sister. She always had great advice. You could always bounce ideas off her, and she had the funniest sense of humor. We would often laugh about the silliest of things that most people probably wouldn't laugh about, but we thought were hilarious. We would talk on the phone at least twice a week, sometimes more, if she was driving home from work and needed to debrief. Yeah. And of course, we, you know, we went through the the death of our mum together, so I think that brought us even closer together. And then when I had my children, you know, she had already had Jamie, so she was a wealth of knowledge and expertise, and, yeah, yeah, she's just everything to me. I miss her terribly. Just on your, on the on the sense of humor. Sherry like, that's something that sticks out for me about about you guys, and it takes, it takes a lot to get used to a like and now, like, the stuff that even you and I talk about now is the same kind of stuff that you and Angela would talk about. But like, outside of, outside of our little group, you couldn't, you couldn't have those conversations a socially accepted 100% Yeah, and you're often, as Aaron sway were the type of the girls that, you know, we thought farts were funny, and let's find humor and Other people's mishaps like all sisters do, hey, Exactly, yep. And you're up in ruaka, so sunny Northland, yes, so at physical distance between the two of you, but sounds like emotionally and your connection to each other was a very special connection, which is resounding throughout the people we're talking to Angela, had some incredible connections with her family and friends. Yeah, I think that was just that was Angela, you know, she was loved by everybody she met. She just had that personality that people were drawn to, and she made the same effort with everybody. You know, I could be quite slack at returning phone calls or making calls, but, you know, I could always guarantee that Andrew would ring me for a chat, and you know, we'd talk for ages. And you know, even though we you know, there was a bit of a distance, location wise, between us. You know, we always knew what was going on in each other's lives. Yes, and we and Andrew would always come up here for her holidays. Around Christmas time, she'd come up with the girls, and we get to spend time together then and make loads of memories, which was always nice, beautiful. That's where the proposal happened as well. Is where the proposal happened, the not so secret proposal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good times. So we've talked in the previous episodes around introduction to hospice. We've talked with Charlie about the nursing care and Angela's introduction to that, the care planning and those sorts of things. Yeah, a few things were also happening as as Angela's illness progressed and she started to need a lot more care and support for you too. What, what were your roles in that? And how, you know, how did you share support your sister and Aaron going through this while also maintaining your relationships? So I think it was, you know, like we've discussed earlier, like, how, how quickly things kind of progressed and and like, and I've said it a couple of times, like, for me, like looking at, you know, it was, it was a three month period, but for me, it felt like a lot longer, and because I was in it, you know, every day. And so, you know, you didn't notice changes and stuff like that as much as as, say, like Cherie would. And so I think, and me being who I am, I did a lot of the initial stuff was, I just did a lot of that by myself. And it kind of wasn't until it got to a point where it was like, actually, I can't do this by myself. And and obviously she kind of being, you know, two hours away and, you know, and working and having her family commitments wasn't able to be there all all the time in that an initial period, but, but also because we weren't expecting it to progress like it did, you know. So, so everything was kind of like, well, you know, like we were just kind of flying blind because you, you're given a prognosis, so you kind of, rightly or wrongly, you kind of work to that prognosis, you know. And the initial one for Angela was anywhere from 18 months to, kind of three years. She kind of working with that in mind. So, you know, for me, I didn't feel the need to be like, hey, Cherie, you need to, you need to come and help me. Like this is, you know, it didn't kind of get to that point, I think until kind of Cherie, you know, would come down to visit, yeah, and then it was like, Oh, actually, this situation is a lot more serious than than what I could see because I was in it so, so having Cherie kind of come in from the outside, you know, for lack of a better term, and Go, like, actually, guys, this is, this is not great. Things have changed. Things have changed because, you know, like, Cheri would go, you know, a week or two without, you know, without seeing Angela. And, you know, they would talk all the time, but, but actually seeing her and being involved in it, you know, so then when she would come down, she'd be like, no, no, this isn't, this isn't good. And then, you know, we kind of got to a time where we're thankfully, Cherie just was like, I'm here, you know, and we got to do this. So, you know, because otherwise I was, I was kind of doing it by myself, thinking that everything you know was kind of this extended time period that it wasn't. So, yeah, it's, I can imagine prognosis is quite tricky, because, like you said, you you automatically, then think you've got this time period. And so if you were living and that you're you're counting for that, Sherry, what was it like from your perspective, obviously, coming down and then seeing the changes each time you came. You know, everything seemed to happen quite quickly. I struggled because I was so far away and you know, I was still having to work at that stage because the school term hadn't ended. And, you know, from Aaron's point of view, no, he's in it every day, but I would start to see these things happen. You know, for instance, when Ange had a slow fall in the shower, that happened while I was at work. And so there's lots of to and throw. All I could feel is that, you know, I just wanted to be there, but I just physically couldn't be there at that stage, apart from the weekends. And then my term for school ended on the 23rd of December, and that's when I came down. But by that stage, yeah, things were progressing quite quickly, and each time I saw Anne. I could see, you know, a little more change, probably, I don't know mum, more so than Aaron, I guess, because he saw her every single day. So, you know, each little time I would just notice a bit more about it, about her, and what she was going through. And so once I finally got down there, it was, it was great, and it was a great feeling to finally be able there, to be there, to be a support for Aaron and Angela, yeah. And it just meant that I could forget about work and just put all my effort into being there with Ange. Unfortunately, though, I was only down there for a few days, and then my whole family ended up with covid. Oh, no. So then we had head all head back up to Rua kaka and isolate for five days. Because obviously, you know, Angela was doing chemo, so we didn't want her getting sick. So as soon as I'd isolated, it was back down and back into it again. A lot of traveling as well, you know, a lot of coordinating, like you've said, as well, the coordinating your family, your work, yeah, I can imagine there would have been a desperation, or a desperate want to be there with her as well. Yeah, yeah. And I think back to, like, you know, we've talked about the, you know, October the 17th, and and Angela and I getting the news. I had to then relay that news to Cherie, but keeping in mind that Cherie was two hours away and, you know, like, what do I tell her? So that this two hour drive to come and be with Angela isn't torturous, you know what I mean? And so, yeah, and I imagine that that's what it was like, you know, every time you had to go back, you know, as as thinking, You know what, what's going to happen in the, you know, in the, in the time that I'm away, kind of thing, so, yeah. And also to anticipating, like, your phone calls, what's happening now, know what's what's happened to Ange, you know what? Where are we? Where do we go from here, all those thoughts you know you have going through your head, but you just can't physically be there. Yeah, it was, it was really tough. Yeah, absolutely. And it speaks to me the fact that Angela's diagnosis and her illness wasn't just impacting Angela or her direct family, you know, there's that network of a family around her. Friends, I remember, were were quite impacted, and all starting to try and rally and offer you support as much as possible. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like a house, you know, from from, pretty much from October 17, our house was never empty, you know, there was constantly people there and, you know, and it also, like, there was that whole period just people were just dropping everything, you know, like all of a sudden, like, work didn't matter to people, you know, like they just wanted to come and they wanted to come and be with Angela, and they, and they wanted to help and in, in whatever way they could, which, which was amazing. It's quite overwhelming, you know, as well. And you know, and especially like with the, you know, with the hospice staff and and all the different arms that kind of come off, the support for Angela that you know, that that kind of became quite overwhelming as more and more, not just family and friends kind of tried to help, but all the other agencies you know tried to Help Us, you know, and wanted to help as well. And that became, you know, that became quite like, almost like, a full time job, you know, where, and that's why, when, when Cherie came down, it was like, almost like, Well, I'm gonna, today, I'm gonna, kind of manage the admin side of this. And Cherie, I need you to, I need you to look after Angela. I'll take the phone calls and all that kind of stuff. You make sure that she's okay, kind of thing. So, yeah, it really was like we, we just became like a really solid little team just to kind of get things done, work of care that was starting to weave around your family, around Angela family, coming into support and agencies and different services coming in. Where did hospice come into everything? Yeah, so, like we, we talked about a few episodes ago with with Charlie, like, once we kind of got over the initial like, why do we need hospice kind of feeling, and we're dealing with this prognosis that is, you know, kind of 18 months to three years, you don't you don't know what. You don't know, right? So, so we didn't know that we needed shower seats. We didn't know. Know that we needed stuff to just get Angela to the bathroom and things like that and, and so that's where so hospice organized, especially in that initial phase, hospice organized all of that, like, really, really quickly, like, you know, to kind of match how this progression was happening, yeah? And so, you know, because we're kind of still getting used to this and getting our heads around it, like, Well, why does she need that? Why does she need that? And then it's like, you know, a day later, it's like, oh, that's why she needs that, you know. And actually, that makes things a lot, a lot easier for us. And then a day or two after that, she's maybe needing something else, yeah, and so we, we, all of a sudden, we needed a wheelchair. You know, we had to get her to and from the car to take her to radiation. And, you know, and we couldn't, she couldn't walk, and so we didn't know how to get a wheelchair or anything. And so, so thankfully, we had a friend that just rang me one day and was like, I've got your wheelchair. I'm I'm bringing it over, which was amazing, right? And we, and we probably used that wheelchair for about two weeks before, actually, that wheelchair wasn't suitable anymore, and so it was back to hospice. Hey guys, what? Do we do, you know? And so, you know. And then, and then hospice put us in touch with, you know, an occupational therapist who says, Okay, well, we can, you know, we can get you this wheelchair, or, you know, all this other equipment that all of a sudden becomes part of our everyday life, yeah, you know. And we we have a so we had an occupational therapist and a physio within hospice that came out and saw you and assessed Angela. But there was also that navigation between our team being able to navigate and communicate with the health board and getting the community services tapped in as well. Hey, yeah. And, and, like I said, before, like, we kind of became this, this team where I had to deal with the admin side of what was going on. So, like, remember, Sheree, my phone would didn't stop ringing. Oh, you're constantly ringing. And, and you had, like, to the point where I had to also divert Angela's phone. I had to divert it to my phone because all of these services were kind of ringing Angela, you know, it's like, okay, well, we need to redirect that kind of thing. And so, yeah, we, like I said, we became this kind of team where admin was kind of my responsibility, and going and getting medications and and all of that kind of stuff. And Cheri, you hold the fort here and make sure that you know that she's okay, you know. And as that kind of progressed as well, like, even just like getting medication, I would get a phone call from from hospice in the morning being like, Okay, what medication does it? Does she need today? We're gonna go and get it and we'll bring it to you. Yeah, you know, like, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you're trying to organize all of this stuff and, and, and keeping in mind that there's still children that are still going to school and, you know, all of that life stuff is still happening. To have just those things where it's like, Hey, you don't need to go and do that. We're going to come and bring that. We're going to bring that to you as, yeah, as massive, especially, you know, especially for me, there's that quality of life aspect as well. Like you said, you know, life is going on at this point, and there's also, while you're trying and working to care for her and make sure that Angela's needs are met, you're also her husband, her sister, wanting to probably spend some quality time with your loved one as well, and balancing that carer role from that family member role as well, must have been quite a challenge for you. Think it was. It was a challenge, wasn't it, Aaron. But I think Aaron and I kind of became a well oiled machine, didn't we? Aaron, yeah, like, we kind of just got to the point where we just knew what the other person was thinking. I would arrive in the morning, and we would just get into mode, and we would get all the, you know, the caring things for Ange, I would go and get the bath stuff ready, and then we'd work together and, you know, get it all ready for the day, and then once we kind of got all that stuff, then we could kind of have our time, couldn't we, Aaron, just to be with Ange. But keeping in mind that, you know, there were, she has loads and loads of friends. So like Aaron said before, during the day, there's loads of people popping in to see her. As well. So just navigating all the visitors, the caring, making sure we're spending time saying the things we need to say, all those things, and yeah, and a big part of that, like, like Sherry said, we became a well oiled machine. But the only reason we became a well oiled machine was because, because hospice, the hospice staff, the various people that came in, you know, coming in and showing us how to get in and out of bed properly, you know, like, you know, here's a slide sheet. Well, two months ago, what the hell was a slide sheet? You know, I don't know what that is, let alone know how to use one. You know how to access one, or how to access one? Yeah, exactly. And I remember the first time that, when we first got it and, and at the stage, Angela wasn't, she wasn't in a hospital bed. She was, you know, she, she, we, we could get her in and out of bed and, and she was a bit more mobile. And we, the healthcare assistant from hospice, came out and showed us how to how to do it, and we had this big demonstration of, like, easy. We got this, got it. The next day, we tried to use it, and we were just like, this isn't for us. We just lift her out and and we did that. We did that for ages, a sherry, and we had to get, we had to get a needed to come back and and show us, show us again, how to use it. Because we had no idea. We had no idea. And especially, and around the showering. And I think, I think you probably agree, Sherry like this, the showering thing was, was like, yes, it was a, it was a practical thing. She obviously needed to shower and stuff every day, sometimes two or three times a day. And you know what? While it was hard, those were, those were some really special times for us. You know, I remember, you know, I would, I would take her to the to the to the toilet, and she would sit down on the stool, and I, you know, wheel it back, and all of that kind of stuff. And then when I would lift her up, every time I would lift her up, she would put you, put her arms around you, and she'd give you a kiss on the cheek. And you were just like, this is like, and I've said this to Cheri loads of times, like it was, you know, that three months was the most awful three months of our lives, but also some of the best moments of our lives. You know, we got to have these, these little, you know, these little moments. And so we kind of held on to those things, probably for a little bit longer than we should have, you know, especially when it came to showering and stuff, and then I can't, can you remember who it was she that came in and was like, actually, guys, you, you can't keep doing this. Was that Anita? Yeah, yeah, in Anita. And I do remember from that day on, because I kind of that last time we went to shower, and I kind of got the feeling just by her eye contact and her body movements that she just didn't want to do it. Yeah. And so Aaron and I left it that day like, okay, come on, let's just get you back into bed. And so we did. And then I think maybe we mentioned that to Anita the next day, and she said, Well, she shouldn't be getting up for the shower. Now, anyway, she needs to be resting as much as she can. We're going to start bed baths. And Anita was just absolutely amazing, like, that's one of the services I remember. She was just Angela got to the stage like with anyone from hospice came in a carer or, you know, another service person, you could just see Ange start to relax, like she just knew that she was in good care. That's probably because she was like, thank all the professionals are here, and these guys and we love, you know, we love Ange, and we want you know we did our absolute best to do everything for her and make sure we were doing everything right. But, and I think she did put a lot of trust in us, didn't she? Aaron, she was very happy with the way we cared for her, but you could just tell when they came in, she just had this ease about her. The whole room just went calm. And I think, like Angela herself, was calm, but I think it gave Aaron and I a bit of peace of mind as well, just knowing that she was getting the nurture and, you know, the caring from someone and they and, you know, Anita was just so gentle and respectful, you know, look, you know, did everything slowly, talked to Ange, the whole process. It was just, it was really lovely to see, and lovely that she, you know, she really took the time to teach us. Know how to do it, step by step, worked with us so that we knew how to do it. And that was after that that we kind of became the well oiled machine, because of the the time that she took to show us how to do everything properly. And, you know, use the slide sheet again, properly, and you know how how to take, you know, Angela's nightwear off, you know, keeping her comfortable and, you know, and getting her dressed and all those things like, yeah, so much detail, but it was so helpful, because it's easy for us to forget as well. It's something you know, Anita or us in the workplace will do regularly. So it's it's known to us how to use a sliding sheet, if that's what we're trying to do, yeah, but we forget sometimes that it's a brand new foreign thing for Fano and then families Yeah, to suddenly try to figure out to use Yeah, aside from managing Angela's cares and her physical and her medical needs, there was a bit of touch from the social care team as well. So I think we had some counsel, some of our counseling team checking in with you guys along the way. Yeah, and it's, and it was, was really, like, unintrusive, I guess is the word. It was just, you know, it was very, it was very light. It was very, you know, softly, like, Hey, we're kind of here, if you, you know, we're here if you need us, kind of, kind of situation. And it wasn't just me. It was, you know, it was the kids, and it was and it was Angela, and it was Cherie, and, you know, the it didn't matter who it was, if someone involved needed us, you know, needed to talk to someone. But it wasn't, you know, like I said, it was just, it was kind of subtle, you know, and it was like, you know, just Yes, we're here if you need us. So yeah, and Angela received some message from our massage therapists, so she So Angela is a massive fan of of massages and back rubs and light and so they kind of didn't come until, till, kind of quite close to the to the end and and, and I remember saying, Oh, they the massage therapist is is coming to see you. And you just, I can picture a face in my in my head, Sherry, that face where she'd raise her eyebrows and make a little smile, and, and you just knew she was like, oh man. You could tell that she was like, there's gonna be so much better than the crap ones that you try and give me. And the massage therapist came in and she just loved that. I like, just like Cherie said she just relaxed. But like, even more so you're like, Oh, she's really, really loving it. And I think the one that that sticks out of my mind the most is the one. And I think it might have been maybe two or three days before she passed away. And, you know, we weren't getting a lot of response by this stage. She, you know, there wasn't a lot of talking or anything like that. And we, I think Charlie said, Do you want me to organize for the for the massage therapist to come. And we were like, yeah, like, she loved, she will, she will love it. And, and, like I said, even though she wasn't it kind of, you know, there wasn't a lot of talking that, you know, it was just very almost like she was asleep all the time she had that massage. And you could see again that she was just like, Yeah, this is, this is really good stuff, you know. And you know, she'd been, you know, by that stage, she was in bed like all the time, you know, she couldn't move we, we couldn't move her. So you think about, if you spend all that time in bed, how, you know, you think it's a great idea at first, but then, you know, when you're not moving or anything, how awful that must have been that Yeah, to just have that was just such a relief for it. You could just, you could see it on her face, yeah, yeah. And just so respectful and gentle. And I just love the way that, you know, it was almost like it was just her and Ange in the room. You know, no one else mattered for that time, it was all about Ange and and she just softly spoke to her and told her what she was doing. And Yeah, and like, I know on that particular last time, she had worked quite a lot around Angela's neck and shoulder, because it was quite tight from the way she was sitting. And yeah, afterwards, like Angela just looked so much more relaxed, like she couldn't tell us verbally, but you could certainly see it in her face and her body language, yeah. And so important for me in my role in the areas that I'm interested in is that holistic care, yeah? And. I don't think many people when they think of hospice, it's another one of those misconceptions where we know a lot about the medical, the nursing care, but we don't often know about that whole wrap around holistic supports. Were you guys aware of that when, when Angela was first admitted? No, like, like, not at all. And I said the very beginning, like, you don't know what you don't know, right? And, and, you know, while it was overwhelming, like, initially it was like, What do you mean? We just get all of this. Do you know what I mean? Like, and it just kind of blew me away. So we're going to organize a massage therapist for you, and we're going to have someone come and do this for you, and we're going to any like, Okay, well, what do we have to do for that? Like, nothing. Like, you mean, nothing, yeah, and you know, it's still, you know, and that's kind of why we, you know, was said in the in the first episode, like this is kind of why we're here, a little bit is, you know, to make people aware. You know that that of all the great work that you know that hospice do, because, again, like just so many people just don't know. And the sad thing is, there'll be people out there that are that are going through what we've been through, and don't know, and are trying to do this by themselves, you know, and and for, and I was going to say for a long time, but it wasn't that long at all. Felt like a long time, but for a long time, that's how, that's kind of how I felt, you know? It was like, Well, I've got to, I've got to do this by myself. I have to look after her and stuff like that. And to have that kind of relief, you know what I mean, to just come in and be like, actually, you don't have to do this by yourself. Here's all of the things that we can do to help and then to actually do them without me having to chase, you know, and ring people and be like, Hey, we're meant to have this, and we're meant to have this and and also on your terms as well, right? Because it's often we have so many different services available that will work for different people. And like you said, with the counselor, they're touching base to check in, and that's so that you know as and when you need them, they're there. Because everybody's grief journey is different, right? But the key thing is always putting it back till it's on, on your terms, what you need, when you need how you need it, yeah, is how we try to work in and support you, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And I think for me personally, you know, I, I knew that hospice wasn't just about end of life, you know, I'd, we'd had hospice in when Mum was sick, you know, and we'd had all the help with all the, you know, all the furniture that she needed and and that sort of thing. But, you know, even having been through that with mum. And, you know, the the nurses and everyone were wonderful with mum, but I still wasn't aware of all the other services, like the, you know, the physiotherapy and the massage. And so I think it really is important to to, you know, get out that those things are available. Yeah, and you know, I'm, I'm so deeply grateful, you know, for them treating Ange with all the tenderness and respect. And you know it just means the world to us that you know she was cared with, you know, such love and you know dignity was in you know, kept in check, which was really important to us too, and working in to support you guys with what you were doing, because we forget how much family support and how much they do in situations like this, yeah, and I think like, and I look back at it now, and you know, it's some time to kind of reflect on things I would do differently. And I think for me, you know, I would, I know that I didn't have to do everything by myself or not, not so much by myself, but I didn't have to do everything you know, but because you know, because, like, sure you see dignity. Was a really, really and dignity and privacy was a really, really big thing for Angela, you know. So so that obviously was important to me, and so I kind of like almost put a shield around her, you know. And it took a lot to, you know, to kind of break that down. But, you know, we were talking before about spending time with her and things like that. I think for me personally, I could have relied on those services more than I more than I did, to have more time with her and and probably, probably make things easier for her as well. You know? Yeah. I think Hindsight is one of those things as well, when you're thinking maybe with the prognosis and how that's changing as well. Yeah, you don't know at the time what you need until, until you have other people come in and and, and let you know what's going on, right? Yeah, yeah. And I think we, Sherry and I were actually talking about this a week or two ago, and Angela's big thing was that she didn't want us to see her suffer. You know, obviously she had already been through with with the girl's mum passing away, and that, you know, that had been quite traumatic. And so Angela was always like, I don't, I don't want you guys to see me suffer. You know, the fact that she that, that she kept going for as long as she as long as she did. And I said to Sri the other day, I said that, I think that was her way of saying thank you to us for looking after her, you know, and in the way that we in the way that we did, and you know, and that that means the world to us. And you know, without sounding like we're patting everyone on the back too much like we could only do that stuff, we could only look after her in the way that we did because of the support that we had, like, and it's and it's not an understatement at all. Like, without that, without the support and stuff that hospice gave us, Angela wouldn't have been at home, you know, she would have been in a hospital. We wouldn't have got to spend all of the time that we, that we did with her, we wouldn't have been able to get those special moments that, you know, that we got, because we just got to a point where we couldn't have kept going by ourselves and without hospice. That's, that's what would have happened, you know, and yeah, and so we just, we just can't think hospice enough. Yeah, they say it takes a village, and it's always, it's, it's, it's more than one person you know. So it's, it's good to hear how much support you guys were able to to weave into to caring for Angela at this crucial moment in her life, and supporting her with maintaining her dignity, her quality of life, and cherishing those very special moments, the kiss on the cheeks. I'm imagining that there was still lots of laughter and humor and sisterly jokes going on as well. Oh, wow, Cherie, do you there was, there was lots of emotions. I can tell you. There were happy times, there were sad times, there were very funny times. Do we? Cherie, do you want to share your funny story? Well, you can start it so. So in one of these moments, we were getting, you know, we were getting to the point where we couldn't, you know, it was kind of, maybe, maybe we couldn't take her to the shower and stuff anymore. But we were fine. We tried to shower her, yeah, yeah. And so, so we've, we've wheeled, we've wheeled her into the bathroom. And our bathroom is, very, very narrow, so not ideal for the situation that we're in. So we're trying to kind of maneuver her in, into the bathroom, and then we've kind of got to lift her up and then spin her round onto this was a whole, was like a was like a Formula One pit crew. It was like a poor Formula One pit crew. But yeah, Aaron would be in the shower. I'd be half in the shower. So it was, it was a, it was a big deal. Yeah, stay in time this time. I said, Well, before we put her in the shower, let's just on the while she's on the commode, I'll just get some nice warm soapy water, and I'll give her a little wash while she's sitting there, you know, because it's very hard once you're in the shower, which we did. And bless Angela, she's she's always had loads of trouble with her bowels, poor girl. But this time, I guess the warm water was soothing. You carry on. Aaron, so Angela had we had her in the on the toilet late. Do you need to go toilet? No, I'm okay. Okay, so we wheel her away from we're gonna book her in the shower. Cherie goes to lift her, and she looks down, and Angela's done a little poo, and it's planted on antidote. And we're just at the point we just look at each other. The three of us all just look at each other. And Angela kind of got this look on her face like, Well, what do you want me to do? Like, there's nothing I can do and share. Is like, Oh, well, it's okay, yep. No, we'll carry on and click. You know. And by this stage, I'm like, run out of the bathroom. And it was like, you know, like any other time you'd be like, this disgusting. But it was just like, of course, this is what's happened. And I just the look on Angela's face of, like, whatever. Like, what do you want me to do? And Cherie just being like, Oh, well, doesn't matter. Just Yes. Just, so good. Like I said, like we just, it sounds random to call it a special moment issue, but like, we still, you know, we'd still talk about it now and then after that, Aaron was on the phone with the doctors, and I was kind of had a towel around Ange, and I was just kind of, you know, we're waiting for Aaron to come back so we could pop her in the shower. And this is after we kind of cleaned up a bit. And then Andrew was sitting on the chair, and I had the towel around her, and I was just kind of standing over her with my hands on her shoulders, and she just kind of nuzzled into me and looked up at me. I was like an unspoken thanks. This was very Yeah, was it was a very funny moment, and yeah, one that we'll probably talk about for Angela's legacy lives on. Yeah, yeah, she would be laughing. She's laughing now, I'm sure of it. Well, thank you so much, sharae, for coming and joining Aaron and I and sharing your stories and your your beautiful relationship that you had with your sister. Oh, thank you for having me. We'll wrap it up there. Join us next week as we talk about Angela's rapidly changing condition and what came next. Thanks for joining us.