NEWDAY - Inspired Leadership for the Greater Good

Courage Over Comfort: Dr Tom Nehmy on Growth, Grief and Mental Health

Season 1 Episode 8

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0:00 | 56:43

In this thoughtful and grounded conversation, Katrina is joined by Dr Tom Nehmy, clinical psychologist, researcher, author and director of the Healthy Minds Program. With a background spanning clinical practice, prevention psychology and grief work, Tom brings clarity, warmth and honesty to conversations many people quietly carry but rarely articulate.

Tom shares the experiences that shaped his work, including his early interest in psychology, his passion for prevention rather than crisis driven care, and the personal loss that led him into grief therapy. He speaks openly about courage, discomfort and why mental health is not about feeling calm all the time. He also explores after death communication, how it shows up for many grieving people, and why these experiences deserve curiosity rather than dismissal.

This episode invites you to reconsider how you relate to discomfort, how you speak to yourself when things feel hard, and what it means to live fully while holding the reality of loss and impermanence. It is reflective, practical and compassionate, offering insights that are both evidence based and deeply human.


Key Takeaways

  • Courage over comfort. Why growth rarely feels calm and how discomfort can be a sign of meaningful change.
  • Prevention matters. How building mental health skills early can reduce suffering later in life.
  • Calm is not the goal. Why mental health is about flexibility, connection and resilience, not constant peace.
  • Self compassion as a skill. How the way you treat yourself shapes anxiety, perfectionism and wellbeing.
  • Shared humanity. Why struggle and imperfection are part of being human, not signs that something is wrong.
  • Grief needs presence. Why grief cannot be fixed and what truly helps people heal.
  • After death communication. A respectful exploration of experiences reported by many grieving people and how they can support meaning making.
  • Living with mortality in mind. How acknowledging death can bring greater clarity, courage and appreciation for life.

Quotes to Remember

  • "Calm is not the goal. Being able to stay present with discomfort is."
  • "Mental health is not about avoiding pain, but learning how to meet it."
  • "Self compassion is not self indulgence. It is a way of relating to yourself when life is hard."
  • "Grief does not need fixing. It needs understanding and space."
  • "Discomfort is often a sign that something important is happening."

Connect with  Dr Tom Nehmy:

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