Starting Late, Ending Great with King Rodrigo Jr. & Boots Anson-Roa | Marriage is a Marathon S2 EP. 5

King Rodrigo Jr. & Boots Anson-Roa — grief, humor, and finishing the race with faith.

📖 Inspired by Marriage Is a Marathon by Anthony Pangilinan & Maricel Laxa Pangilinan
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

My daughter was dying at the time. Oh no. Dying of cancer. So I I told Wojpunta America to take care of my daughter. But when I come back and kata one mutilika.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

At our ages, we know how to rein in our impatience kung kung the discussion is not going well, or if we're not reaching a point that we'd like to reach with my 100-year-old mother-in-law. At our age.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Instead of talking about finishing strong, I would rather talk about staying strong.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

It must be sustained all throughout.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Hi, I'm Anthony Pangelina.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

And I'm Mariselle Laksa Pangelina.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

And welcome back to Marriage is a Marathon.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

The podcast season two.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Yes, and today I'm adding guests both. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

We're so honored.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Please welcome to Marriage is a marathon, Tito King, Rodrigo, and Tita Butts and Sonroa.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

Thank you. Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Yes, thank you. Thank you. It's an honor to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Love forever.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

I love you forever.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Marriage is an ultramarathon. Yes. Not to have to go through the loss of the first spouse of first marriage and to start again. Can you please help us understand your emotional challenge of the animal to go through that?

SPEAKER_03 1:56

It's a good one asking to go ahead first because there was this incident when you talked to your elder son kid. And I think that had a bearing on your future relationship.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

What I want to say is this the emotional journey never ends. The grieving does not end. It's like the ebbs and flows of tide. And it that goes on. But uh after some time, the grief becomes good memory.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

When I lost Pete, my first husband in 2007. Even at the wake and the barrier, uh my my crying really came in surges when I went home for the first time after all the the wake and all of that. And I saw the empty bed and I saw his leg brace. He was a um a stroke patient for ten years, and then he ended up with cancer. When I saw his leg brace there, and that was I had my beauty home. Um and I prayed um for coping because you'll never forget the money that's a poison win. So you may have marakani mutan, and with your children and your loved ones there to support you. What I prayed for, as I don't of course is eternal reports, was that I be helped in coping, uh, with the grieving, and um that I be guided on how to tackle it together with my children.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Before you met each other, or because you reconnected and we got to know each other. I'm wondering, did you say I'm ready again? Guys, Ibn Cardinal Tagle. They told me about this earlier. Oh my god, taglet. Couple that we ever married, no? Right? 75 and 69.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

When they got married, when they are married. Oh, that's why our whole wedding ceremony was a laffaton.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Oh, dahil sanaka. No, but I wonder what what happened? How did it happen to open your heart again?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

First, let me let me correct the fact. But I never met. We never knew each other. We know of each other, of course. I knew of her, no, until I really courted her. Wow. Wow. The reason is this, no? Alamyo maaga unlumandi. Fifteen years old. I went steady with my first wife. She was 14. Oh my gosh. And at that time, she was only nine, six years and difference now. And then I went steady for five years. At the age of 19, I got married. So she was only 13. And you got married? Yes. 19? Uh oh.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

He was 19, so.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

And your partner then was your wife was also 19. I didn't know. Uh oh. 13 palango. Indeed, manaku cradles natural. Anyway, so iba angki los naminza society. Until such time uh her si her siblings and my siblings decided to ibuga u kamindaloa to match it up.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

M T R C B.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

It wasn't just your effort, it was the effort of the community to put it in the world.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Wow. Our siblings.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

But you were not really opening up to the idea of getting married again.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Hindi Hindi kohinana.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

In in my case, uh after I was widowed, I had suitors, no? Wow.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

Of course.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Marriage, yes. But marriage was not in the periphery.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

And in the course of like you deciding to court her eventually, did you decide? Kaagadba?

SPEAKER_01 7:07

As I told you before, no yung akapatid name ng gustum magma chamin. I think it was the 99th birthday of my mother.

SPEAKER_05 7:17

99th?

SPEAKER_02 7:19

By the way, the mother brought them to the altar, ha? At 100 years old.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

So anyway, nandungami sa party. Oh, and I I think I said something like, I still love my wife. So when she came, I shook hands with her and I left.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

So hina bulako no kapatit ko sabi saken. Bakit munam binas to si boots. Wow. Hindi nyo wakuhin andab.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

And I wasn't ready for it.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Yeah, hand up.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Hindi ko set afkam. Kuya fit.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

So peratita boots. No, no, dinada lakayu sa table. Hindi nyun na sense na parang mina matchika yo.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Umde, I thought it was going to be a a regular hello, hi.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

On the point. Uh after. What was that moment when you felt this guy's quite a bit?

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Definitely it was not that moment.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah, yeah. No. Hindi na tigle. So me san, dinoble date kame.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

A ba?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

It's a restaurant. This was a.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

But before that, he tried to invite. But he's not a good thing. Hindi matulitu yung date and all of that. Until immediately before that thing, if you remember, we attended a recollection in the house of his sister Pempe. But participate. Until I noticed na, yung yungcilia sa tabini king, bahante.

SPEAKER_05 9:46

Nobody was a kid.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Same kote ka.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yes. Very aggressive. Sabi says, okay, man legal boots. Wow. Soots, boots, no. I cannot concentrate on these things now. Yung panel. My daughter was dying at the time.

SPEAKER_04 10:25

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Dying of cancer.

SPEAKER_04 10:27

New York.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

So I told boots America to take care of my daughter. But when I come back, Eddie, I'm not going to be able to do it. Yes, sir. First date palang.

SPEAKER_04 10:55

What did you feel at that time?

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Of course I'm not presumid. But at the same time, there was a bit of shock, but it was recent, I mean memorable. I mean You welcomed it. Yeah, because international lawyer, former ambassador to New York, Philippines. And the mother used to speak so highly of him. And so did everybody else.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Why did you say that? Even if you already were in awe of him.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

Friendship, timing, and falling in love.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

So when did you know? When did you know that?

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Nagnobe na pa hoke Saint Teresa. And I asked for four, I asked for white roses.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

My sign!

SPEAKER_03 12:54

And Saint Teresa in particular, kise best friend from high school. So anyway, four occasions. Four occasions. One, and one, when he invited me to his place to celebrate the birthday of his late wife, my first visit to his place. So when I went with my cousin, there was the picture of his late wife, Olga. And right under, right beneath, was a pot of white roses. Wow. Wow. So during the dinner, I don't know what got to him. He just plucked one of the white roses and just he said, uh, this is for you. Uh Olga, and I want to share this with you. So that's one. Two, my children and I went to a concert, dinner concert. Uh, all the tables were already filled with centerpieces. Pagdalan bulak for our table, white roses. Wow. I didn't tell anybody. Uh-huh. And then pangatlum, um, my brother and my sister and I went to a private rosary session in Santo Domingo, where we were well, we were invited to be in that uh room before the before the Our Lady of the Rosary image was going to be in procession. So nandukume, after the rosary, I was looking around and I said, wow. So I went close to the image just to touch and say thank you. But lapikung nasa ilalim sali kod nung anthurium a pat of white rose. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

So this was already for you, param, one sign after another, na da pot open kasa aya.

SPEAKER_03 15:01

Uh-huh, yeah. Aside from the all, no. And then the fourth and last one, what did it all was we attended an anniversary mass for Father Reuter. Um, and uh at the Mass, after the Mass during the receptions, his sister, the superior of the St. Paul Nuns, just came to him and out of the blue, I want you to have this white rose. And Sabingiki, huh? Why why me? Sabinya, but sang gusto koy big seito. So brang dami ng bang signs.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

So I love the fact na dum antalagay dun saligawan, tapos may time, my signs, uh restraint, using your mind, not just your emotions.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

And then independently. Yes, um, with my 100-year-old uh mother-in-law, na karung pakamin ng pa manhikan at our age.

SPEAKER_04 16:18

Si la na manhikan sa inyo.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Yes, to ask for her hand in marriage. Oh this was about uh to ask for her body.

SPEAKER_04 16:27

Body. Hand body and soul. Ayana ting nan nyoha, ula na mung masama, kung susund din natin yung ating mga traditions. In fact, magandang a yun. Da hilang papa kita, how much we honor this person.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Actually, you respect an honor. Ng sinabi mwana you went to his house because he was celebrating the birthday of his wife, late wife. Yuna nga namina, you celebrate your exact, right? Even as you even as you uh nurture this one that you have right now. For that trigger, yun.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

That issue, that issue was brought up by Butz before we got married. Sabi nyakin, before we get married, I want you to know that I'm willing to accept the number two position in your life. Sabiko But that will never work. That will never work. That phase of my life is finished. So you have to be number one in the second phase of my life. Otherwise, it will not work. The wife can never be number two. Right. So we we resolved it that way. And then uh before we got married, we went to the Holy Land in the Bas. And there we in the part of the uh Jordan River where where Christ was baptized, we saw a big rock. So baggage in the past in this big rack. And then together we threw all our baggage in the Jordan River. Tapusna.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

I hope whether you are 86, okay, or what have you, or you are 60, or you're 40 or 20. Have those rituals that says, Yuna harahan, tabush na, this is a new season.

SPEAKER_04 18:49

The old is gone, the new has come.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

This is a new season of life. What is present in your current season that you're so thankful for? Na bagupah, na ibaito, na na kaka salamatkayo because of this second marriage. What's one thing?

SPEAKER_03 19:07

I'd like to say that we have fun. We we lace our uh conversations with humor, a lot of humor, a lot of self-deprecation even. But with it goes the realization that in age there is wisdom, there is understanding, there is strength. So while we laugh at ourselves, uh we anchor our relationship on all of that, the attributes of age. Our faith, of course, helps us a lot.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

You know, I attended Tita Bu's 80th birthday. And C Tito King ang publisher. Excuse me. Excuse me. Wait, but I'm not sure. According to His will. And when you are partnered with someone at this age who really honors you, cherishes you, and then supports all your endeavors in a way that will even produce a book to remember your legacy. Wow, that's amazing, Tita. You know, a lot of women desire these kinds of things, and you have it. And wow, what a blessing you are to each other.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

That's why my my prayer, my consistent prayer is after thanking the Lord for all these graces and the blessings, and that's the core of that book. It's gratitude. It's Sana I will always be deserving of all of that. Yeah. Because we can take this for granted. Oh, I then we can die on it. Uh oh. And Sana, I will aspire to be always deserving of God's love, of his love and his generosity, his kindness.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

In spite of the fact, man, the factory is closed.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

But love that but the playground is open. But your toy is made open.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Yes, I remember we were closed, the playground is open, but his toy is broken.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

You know, Tita Boots and I were taping manopo. And Tita Boots, you look so happy. I just want to know at this age and time in your life, how is sex life? So, good nga, good chan saf. Oh no, it's a good king.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Well, we shower together.

SPEAKER_04 22:01

Yeah, yeah. But you also talked about how you uh excite each other with your intellectual exchanges.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

So how is it like? Do you read books to each other? Do you debate? What is it like?

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Uh debate mahirap ka debate lawyer. Um but uh discuss, yes. But uh we when we're already on the cusp of argument na, me jun ainagui with dro it's difficult to get into an argument. Nobody wins in an argument, especially if you're arguing with the lawyer. So I as long as there's an exchange of the ideas, no, of insights, okay na yung saking. I I'd like to think that with every discussion I learn something. I learn a lot, no, and hopefully Sharet. Um so there's a lot of that. And I think at our ages we know how to rein in our impatience kung kung the discussion is not going well, or if we're not reaching a point that we'd like to reach. Um, I at my age I've learned to like a mg hold baka ko because there's something I can learn from this. There will be another time for this discussion. We can continue it at another time.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Rain. Yeah. That takes that takes time, that takes experience and age.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

But it's very important for all couples to know that they don't have to always win.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Yes, yes. I will not always win in fights against my wife. Because if I always win a fight, that means I live with a loser. Is at this stage finishing strong. It's so it's I can see it, we can see it. What what do you think is the key to finishing strong? In a marathon, they start strong, no? But they whimper their way to the finish line. Walla, walana, pigam pega n dinamata, you know? Or make a sabianya, they have weddings that glorify, but marriages that horrify. Yes. So what what would you say are the keys? Tips nyo po for those who want to finish strong in marriage.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Well, instead of talking about finishing strong, I would rather talk about staying strong.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

It must be sustained all throughout. And uh I don't want to sound pontificating, but Christ must be the centered.

SPEAKER_05 24:44

No.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Uh But and I are daily communicants. We go to Mass every day at 6:30 in the morning. Mount Carmel. Monastery. And we say the rosary and the chaplet of the Divine Mercy every night.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

If you are anointed, you can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

No, pagata bigla magi gisin mungogulo chanagli lead.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

So, and another thing.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

There will there will always be disagreements. Never, never let it fester. Right, right, right. No, it festers and then the next day it continues. Tapu signora, bagu kay matul.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Uhunaman, I go a little further. Um, while I believe that uh what is important is the journey, what is important is the here and now. Um I I think of the finish line. I think of the finish line. And um my thoughts bear on um, well, I want to invoke St. Paul's words that you know I have I I have finished the race, I have fought a good fight, and there's a crown waiting for me.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

Yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Oh and um my thoughts are always when the finish line comes, and we're still there to step on that finish line. Um we can look back with gratitude at everything that had come our way, especially if we're still together, you know. And um to be grateful that we had done our best in that journey towards the finish line. And uh this is something I think you'll find interesting. A lot of people have found it interesting. And this is related to the finish line, and also uh it's a peek into the kind of relationship we have, especially where our marriages are concerned. Early into our marriage, um, King and I were talking about the inevitables. We always talk about the inevitables on the practical side, the spiritual side, etc., even by way of planning and preparation. So I'm sinagest kou sakanya. Um both our spouses were cremated. I'm synagostus one in Ayala and my spouse in St. Teresa Columbarium. So I'm suggesting that when the time comes, if you go ahead, uh I will have your ashes turned over and brought to the kolumbarium, the crypt where Olga is. And this is really for the sake of our children. Because we have to do that, pag nunata as well. And he readily agreed. So conversely, uh kung akunuma, he will take my ashes to Pete's crypt in St. Teresa, Columbard. Those are going to be painful experiences. But um parang transcended by the thought that our children will find greater comfort in that. Self-transcended.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

No return, no exchange.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

I want to ask this question as a part of our what is the one thing each one of you can say about each other that really contributes to the strength of your union. I'm sure you have issues.

SPEAKER_04 29:15

Maybe they can say it to each other. I want to hear it.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

That you're always thankful for. And then vice versa.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

Yes, can you tell it to each other?

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Um it's the wholeness about him, you know, and yet there is his brokenness also. But um I I would like to include myself in that picture, and it has to do with our faith. I think that's it's really just that. Yeah, that Christ is the center.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

That he's embraced that. But I like that. You're whole but broken.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Yes, yes. So an ahu di characteristic. So you must love the entire person. But what is it about her, Titabutz, that you most appreciate and are most thankful for? She serves me well. No, really. Yes. Uh I wake up in the morning, mg five o'clock. She wakes up, gives me coffee. She makes sure that I'm comfortable in everything I do in our house and even outside. Well, if I if I had a spouse who was 86, I'll have to do the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

I find a lot of merit in that. Oh. And I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Oh, so what at heart you've always been like that. But wow, for your spouse to say that.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

And also, not only to me, not only in terms of the temporal, the spiritual, the mental exercises, etc. But with others. Sometimes generous to a four. But that is so admirable, sir. So admirable. Um and it is it it's a whole sense of generosity. Sharing not only of his means, but sharing of himself. Sometimes he says, Because uh needless to say, he doesn't get anything in return rewards. But sometimes I I I see why. Because for him it's always a matter of paying back, giving back.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

And you have to have enough voices that you can run to and people who can push you further to say, yeah, it's worth fighting for. This race is worth running. And that's what the marathon is all about.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

We will stay strong.

SPEAKER_04 33:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 33:10

By God's grace. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Right? It's a center and their example. Can I just read from the book that you had published?

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

What are you most grateful for? It's that I woke up this morning. Oh, the boots are cooking. Many didn't make it through the night. My mission on earth is still unfinished.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

And wow, what a mission we have experienced, you know, just by you being our guests. Maraming Maraming Salamat. Thank you so much. Yes. Another round of applause for Tito King and Tita Boots and Sunroa. Marriage is a marathon. Season two. The podcast.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

Thank you so much, Mambo, for our outfits for today. This episode was shot at Midnight Dream Studio.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

For feedback, suggestions, questions, please comment below. And don't forget to follow us on our socials at least.