The Road Traveled
A Christian based podcast geared to men to be able to take the bible and make it applicable to each man's life on the road he travels.
The Road Traveled
Ep 6: Why do bad things happen, and what’s my next step with God?
What do you do when “why” won’t let you go? We open a tender, honest conversation about loss, faith, and the quiet courage it takes to keep moving when answers don’t come. Aaron shares the morning his wife died in a head‑on collision while their 16‑month‑old daughter survived—an unthinkable moment that reshaped his life and his walk with God. Together we wrestle with the hard questions people ask about suffering and a good God, then return to Scripture to find a path forward that’s real, humble, and doable.
We ground our talk in Isaiah 55:8–9, James 1:2–4, and 2 Corinthians 12:9–10, exploring God’s higher ways, the formation of perseverance, and the paradox of strength in weakness. Instead of forcing explanations, we focus on the “what now”—the next right step of faith, the choice to bring raw feelings to the Lord, and the practice of trusting His character when we cannot trace His hand. Along the way, we challenge the reflex to blame God, consider how timing and providence look from a limited human view, and reflect on a childlike trust that doesn’t deny pain but refuses to be defined by it.
If you’re navigating grief, a fractured relationship, or a season that won’t make sense, you’ll find language for your lament and a framework for moving forward: one prayer, one rung, one day at a time. Listen for practical encouragement, biblical insight, and a closing prayer for anyone carrying a heavy load. If this conversation helps you breathe a little deeper, share it with someone who needs hope, subscribe for more real talk about faith and life, and leave a review to help others find the show.
Welcome to The Road Travel, a Christian podcast for men, where real faith meets real life. Through honest conversations and personal stories, we help you apply God's word to your everyday journey by sharing the road we've traveled. Whether you're walking through challenge, change, or calling, this is your road. And you don't have to travel it alone. Now, let's take the next step with your hosts, Aaron Degler and Alan Hugator.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome back to the Road Travel. Thanks for taking a little time to join us today. I'm your host, Aaron Degler, along with your host Alan Hugator. We're here to today to share a little bit of our road with you. And we you might find yourself on the same road that we've been on. And it may our roads don't always look the same, but a lot of times there's a lot of similarities. So we just want to take a little time and share our road, our experiences, and how scripture has helped us through those things. I mean just share different ideas and topics and thoughts with you and how we do that. So Al and I are going to do that today. We're going to do that through our conversation. And we hope our conversation as you join in and listen to us helps you on your road, wherever we may find you on this day. Alan's going to open us up with a little scripture and then we'll get started.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, good. Well, I'm reading here out of the NIV version in Isaiah 55, 8 and 9. And the Lord is saying, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
SPEAKER_03:You know, so many times we have those questions, and you know, in in this scripture, you know, heavens are higher, God's thoughts are higher than ours. It's it's things above and beyond we can conceive. And I think a lot of times we we have a question, and I think it's a lot of questions we have when bad things happen, is God, why did you allow this to happen? We're always looking for Him to fix things when they're bad things. We go, why would why would a good and gracious God allow bad things to happen? And I kind of want to share a little bit of as as we talk about our roads and the road traveled, I want to share a little bit about mine. You know, over 20 years ago in 2003, I was I've been married for about eight years. I had a little little girl, she was uh 16 months old, little boy, he was four. My wife had had taken a little girl to daycare. She worked in a different town about 20 minutes away. I'm getting my son ready for preschool, about ready to go. The phone rings, I pick it up, and this was about probably about seven o'clock in the morning. Phone rings, pick up the phone, and you know, that's back in the day when we, you know, didn't have cell phones, so you had to be actually at home to get a phone call. And it was my then mother-in-law and said, My wife had been in an accident. My wife's name was Cody. And there's something uh about that moment that if you've ever gotten a phone call that says somebody's been in an accident, you know, maybe some thoughts or it's it's it's okay, it's a fender bender. Uh my kids have been in accidents, have been fenderbenders. But for some reason, this when she told me that it was, I just had a feeling that it wasn't a good thing. So I grabbed my son and and we go and it it was about three miles from our house. She was on her way to work that morning. It was about maybe three or four miles from our house. And, you know, we pull up and we're already there after the police are there, the ambulance is there, and I can kind of see her car down the road a little bit, and we can't get there because everything's blocking. And and so, so, so I get out to, you know, head that way. You know, we're a small town, so everybody knows everybody. One of the one of the volunteer firemen came over and said, you know, you don't want to go up there.
unknown:Sure.
SPEAKER_03:So it was uh as as I told Alan earlier before we started, I said, I'm gonna share the story, and I've never shared it publicly. I said, I hope I can get through it. So I'm gonna do my best, but we we pull up and and they said, You don't want to go up there. You know, there was a head-on collision, and and she didn't make it. And my little girl was in the back seat, in a car seat. She was 16 months old, and head-on collision. The car was was crunched. I mean, if my son had been with her in the other the other seat, my daughter was right behind her, she would have he would have also been killed. And and so, you know, the ambulance had already kind of loaded up my daughter. Take we were fortunate enough to have a hospital here where we live, so that they took her. And so, you know, I didn't really get to see her. They they finished up there at the scene, had to tell my son what was going on, he's four years old, explain it the best I can, 28 at the time, highly unequipped to explain to a four-year-old what just happened and and the severity of it. And so I, you know, go go to the hospital and and see about my my daughter, 16 months old. And she she was okay. She was in a car seat, she had just a a seatbelt mark against her chest. She she had just started walking about that time, and it delayed, she stopped walking, delayed her walking. She's still crawling on, nothing was hurt, but she just had a a seatbelt mark across her chest. And being 28, we'd been married eight years and one month to the day. And, you know, I had a lot of questions about why would that happen. You know, I grew up in church, we went to church, really, you know, uh thought I understood the Bible, was a a good good Christian, uh, you know, depending on what that looks like to different people. So it really was a challenge for me to understand why God would let that happen. We had been together since we were in you know in high school, and you know, why would God allow my kid's mother to be taken? What was the what was the reason for my daughter being alive and her mom not be? What was I gonna tell my kids? How are they gonna, how is I gonna how we were gonna do things? What does our life look like? Why would he do that? We were we were doing the right things. And I think sometimes we go, God, what I was doing the right things. And you know, it it was you know, it was coming over a hill. She was coming over a hill, and gentlemen on the other side was coming up over the hill, and he veered into her lane and and crashed head on later to find out that he had um had a heart attack at that moment, as they were both coming.
SPEAKER_01:True accident. A true accident that God let happen, it could stop anything. But a lot of the questions that you've asked, in my opinion, without divine knowledge, we'll never totally be able to answer while we're on this earth. We don't really truly know all the reasons that God will let. We got some opinions and ideas, and we can philosophize about it, we can study the word of God about it, but truly, until without the divine knowledge of the Lord, and one day you'll know exactly. When we get to heaven, that question will be answered in your mind. And as we spoke earlier, it might be something for your to help you in your life. That that's hard to see. But I feel like there's a reason, and you may have some reasons that you've come to accept that why it happened. But there's always a reason. Let me read this here for just a moment. I when we brought up this topic, I found this and I thought it might be appropriate to go along with your story. And it says, I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve. I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome. I asked for love, and God gave me troubled people to help. So my prayers were answered. Maybe not in the way that we thought this person may have thought of them being answered, but they were being answered through, we'll take the one there for love. You know, and you've had this someone trouble that you've showed and shared and and experienced with, and you know, again, without divine knowledge, we'll never know truly why some things happen. I mean, you hear it all the time in the media. Well, why does God let that happen? Well, if God's such a loving God, why did he let this happen? And why is that? And nobody can tell the exact answer, in my opinion, again. So we have to go back to the faith side.
SPEAKER_03:And and and that's you know, in in James 1, 2 through 4, it does talk about trials test our faith, develop perseverance, leading to maturity. And and I think as Christians, sometimes we think we should have a trial-free life. But as I look back and and and I have you know worked through it over the years, um, like I said, it's been you know 21 years. And there's a lot of been a lot of insight and growth for for me to understand, I don't understand why. I I don't I don't know what the, you know, I I can't say God did it for this reason because I don't know. But I know that it it became my responsibility, and and again, this wasn't knowledge gained within a week, within a month, within a year, within five years. But it was it was for me to understand that that through these trials my faith has to grow. I and that is how do you walk when you're in trials? What what how do you what kind of Christian are you showing up as? I think I think sometimes we do shake our fist at God. And again, I I don't want to say that it's you have to be, okay, God, I'll take whatever. I think it's okay to be upset, be frustrated, and be angry, and be mad, just like we do in our relationships. We go through all those, and we've talked about that before, that that it's okay, but you have a conversation about it. And it and it's our opportunity to go to God and say, you know, help me understand. I'm not gonna know the exact reason. You're not gonna say, Aaron, it happened on this day at this time because of that. And then I think about all the things that happened that morning, that it that it, I don't believe it was a coincidence. I don't believe it was an accident. I believe it was when we talk about God's timing. Think about all the things that had to happen. She was going to the doctor that morning just to have a you know routine checkup, and you know, she had been working on losing a little weight, so she was excited about that to get on the doctor scale, and you know, and and and she had turned around. I still remember walking down the hallway and carrying our our daughter Morgan and that way, but then she comes back to tell me goodbye. And you think about what if it wasn't didn't turn around to come back? What what if something else came up in that gentleman's life that would have slowed him down two seconds, her two seconds. Everything was meticulously planned to the millisecond for those two past to cross on that day. And God, you know, that happened, and so it is up to me now for the last 21 years to try to understand what I'm to gain from that. Am I am I to I mean, my life could have taken a very different turn if that hadn't happened. In other words, you and I wouldn't be sitting here. Chances are very high that we would not be sitting here and having a conversation. The lies I've touched in my life, I would have never touched. So is that the reason? I don't know. But it it I believe it's it's God would have me and have us, you know. This is a situation that's happened to me. God, I don't really understand why it happened, but what can I do with it? What can I, what is now my responsibility? And and I think that's sometimes what we're to do is to understand what is our responsibility to do with what we've been given. And maybe, maybe from the way I respond and act, it's for somebody else to learn or to understand. And that's part of what why we have this show and why it's called the Road Travel, because maybe through our experiences somebody gleans a little insight to go, oh, maybe that was the reason this happened to us because we have awful things happen. As as you know, in in recent news, you know, uh a flood that comes out of nowhere that takes the lives of numerous girls and we say, God, why do you allow that to happen? And we don't have the answer.
SPEAKER_01:No. No, I don't think it's for us to have the answer. Uh let me read here out of 2 Corinthians 12 9 and 10. It says, But he said to me, My grace is significant for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for God for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness insults and in hardship and persecutions and in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
SPEAKER_03:So what is so so then what does that mean if somebody, you know, for I am weak, then I am strong?
SPEAKER_01:Well, that comes through with your faith, because sometimes when we're weak here on this earth and in our faith, we really realize by having that faith and where we put our trust, we draw strength from the Lord always. And and we recognize that we're weak, we we remain humbled where we can recognize that we're weak, and we pull from that. It's again, this is a real hard topic and and things of life that is hard to explain. But knowing that you don't have control, that the Lord is in control, and that you're weak, but you draw strength from him, that's that's as close away as I can describe it. You may have a different take on it, because a lot of times we do on the same scripture sometimes.
SPEAKER_03:And I think, you know, as you're talking, I I think about when we were kids and our parents tell us no, or we get in trouble, and we go, we don't understand. And then I know there was times when my parents told me things or did things, I'm like, I don't get it. And now that I'm a parent myself, I go, oh, that's what that's what they meant. That's why they were doing that. But at the time, I didn't have the knowledge or maturity to understand why they were doing something, and probably never could have until I had experienced those things later in life. And the same is true as our father. We don't see it here on earth, but in heaven we'll see it all and understand it all.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Our maturity on earth, our divine maturity in heaven. We hadn't reached that yet for heaven. We mean we're both fathers, we understand it, we can relate to it here on earth. My grandson, anything I say to him, he'll go, why? Why? Why? You know, well, you know, the this cow here is eating why you know. I just want to say, just drop the why. You wouldn't understand if I told you why. You know, and that's the truth. He would not understand. He's not far enough along from his knowledge in his young life to understand, like we're older now, and we understand why. But he I don't care how many answers I give him, he ain't gonna understand because he's not mature enough, and maybe that's part of where we're at in these situations that we can ask why, but the Lord ain't telling us because we couldn't comprehend no way. Because he sees all, knows all. But we don't.
SPEAKER_03:He knows the beginning and the end.
SPEAKER_01:And sometimes I think that's the reason he asks us to say to stay childlike, childlike is what it refers to in the Bible. Us staying childlike, we don't question as much. We cannot handle it. And as adults, we want answers, and we can't we can't even be knowledgeable enough then to get the to handle the answer. So just stay childlike and believe in him and have faith in him and trust in him like a child does to a mother and and go right along with it. That's what he's asking.
SPEAKER_03:And and as you say that, I'm thinking, well, that sounds pretty easy until somebody's taken from you. Yes, there's a horrific accident, there's children that you know lives are taken. And we see in the news every day about shootings and awful things that happen. Right. And and and we continue to it I think it's very many people say, why would God allow this you know, to happen in this world if if you know, if he's an almighty God and a gracious God, and but then we also have to remember there's there's we have free will, there's choices that we make, and he does love us. And that our pain on earth is temporary, as as awful as it is, you know that you know, for me, that accident happened 21 years ago, and it's an interesting thing about time. Time heals a little bit, it gets a little bit easier, you understand a little bit better. One, because maybe I'm a little older. 21 years ago, that's a long time. I've gained a lot of knowledge, some understanding. To come to terms with that, I don't have to know God's plan. I just have to trust and have faith in his plan. If I could go back to my parents as a as a teenager, I'd say probably yes, sir, yes, ma'am, a lot more, knowing that they had my best interest, that they knew better than I did. They knew what the outcome was going to be if I chose some of the things I chose.
SPEAKER_01:You probably accepted that you can't comprehend why these things happen. My opinion. Nobody can answer these questions. But you accepted that you can't, so you quit asking the question and just accepted the tragedy. And it was a step in life.
SPEAKER_03:And then the next question is that I asked is now what would you have me do in my life? You know, I think sometimes we let awful things happen that in our lives define us in in in a negative way, not necessarily a positive way. We have that choice to allow them to define us in a negative or or positive way. And how can something, if something negative happens in your life, how can that define you in a positive way? It's how we respond. I think how we respond with the faith of God, the understanding of God, the reliance on God, I think that shows a lot. But sometimes we can be stuck in that moment for the rest of our life.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, but I see today the result of your perseverance, your you know, you continue to love God. You may have asked for answers, I don't know. And as we spoke, you might not have got the answers you were looking for, but you accepted, you just kept your faith. And it may be why you're sitting here today. It may be that, hey, I want to try to help some other folks find the love of God and be able to answer some of their questions. Here we can always answer. But I think that's what's brought you to doing your work for Christ. May not have been just that accident, but that was a part of it. You didn't turn the other way and run from it or nothing. You went to God and got your answers and continue to work for Him.
SPEAKER_03:Like we what you read, it's the the answer is the opposite of what you're looking for. And that really is the answer. So you know, I I guess the big question is what you know, how when somebody says bad things happen, you know, we've talked about this, we've shared different things, but really what's the answer when somebody asks why God, why did you allow this bad thing to happen? And I think we look at the negatives, and I think the answer is, you know, and I and I hesitate to say what good will come of this, but I think we ask, you know, why instead of why'd you do this to me, God, we maybe ask, what's your plan, God? Let me a little what would your plan be for me now? You know, what direction would you have me go? Um, because we won't ever understand why. We we don't understand why it allows kids to to die, to, to, you know, people to die, bad things to happen in in horrific ways. But it then I think it's up to us to get in the Bible and say, let me understand the plan. And the plan is how does it how is it going to affect me? What's my next step? My dad always told me, you know, when you're trying to plan way out and you get so overwhelmed, my dad'll say, What's the next step? Don't worry about ten steps down the road. God, what would you have me to do in my next step? I don't know how I'm gonna get where you want me to get, but what's my next step? When you're climbing a ladder, it's one rung at a time. You don't get to the top.
SPEAKER_01:You don't get to jump up. If you try to take more and one, something falls out of place. So it's the next step. I sure can't expand on this topic anymore because I haven't experienced that kind of loss or tragedy in my life. I've been blessed, so I'm very hesitant on saying very much here except what I've read and what I can understand a little bit until you go through most situations, you don't truly know. You don't oh I understand. I don't understand.
SPEAKER_03:But but I think we always are in preparation by being in the word for those things. I think he prepares us in in the for those. We may not see it, but you know, so I th I think the I think the challenge for for for everyone listening is you know, what have you been blaming God for? Because I think there's things in our lives, tragic or not, maybe it's a divorce, maybe it's a separation, maybe it's a disconnect with a child, maybe it's a child on, you know, drugs or alcohol. You know, that if it you know, what are you blaming God? Why'd you do this to me, God? And then, you know, it what have you been blaming for him? And then go to him and share your feelings, your thoughts, your heart, just like we would do another person. Share those things with him and know that all he wants is good for us. And and I know it's hard to see in the storm, but again, he'll restore us all. And that final day when we're in heaven, he we will be restored. And as I shared with you, you know, I I look at it as like a globe, a snow globe. God's looking down on the snow globe. I may be on the other side of the little house that's in the snow globe. I can't see on the other side that there's, you know, trees and a beautiful thing. All I see is this messy house. But God sees the whole picture, he sees it from above and and he knows what's best for us. And just like parents, when we get in trouble, like, oh, you're so mean and ugly to me. Well, they're really doing what's best for us. So that's the challenge. What have what have you been blaming God for? And go to him and and and share your feelings, thoughts, and heart, because that's what he wants. Sometimes you're praying for that, and he just wants you to come a little closer.
SPEAKER_01:Listening to you for the last few minutes, you kept saying, Go to God. Go to him. Well, where else are you gonna go get your answer? But you just kept turning back to the Lord, always turning back to him for your answer, because there's no one else can give you the answer. We talked about that. I don't know when where or why the Lord will give you his answer. It may not be till you step through the pearly gates of heaven when you get your answer. But you is I loved it because you was always saying, turn to the Lord and ask him. I I'll ask the Lord, turn to him, you know, for comfort. But that's the answer with most of our obstacles in this life here on earth is to turn to the Lord. May not be timely, may not be the answer you're looking for, but always turn to him for the answer because most of us humans don't have the answers.
SPEAKER_03:We don't.
SPEAKER_01:Not at all.
unknown:Not at all.
SPEAKER_01:Alan, would you lead us in prayer? Join me and we'll go to the Lord. Lord, as we pause at this time, Lord, and in our lives, we do come to you for answers. And Lord, I know you never put more on us than we could handle, Lord, but at the same time, we come to you for all kinds of questions in our lives, and we hold you of uphold you in the highest regard, and you will answer our questions in time. And Lord, be with everyone that have struggled through or is in the process right now of having some kind of tragedy in their lives, Lord. I ask that you bring down your blessing upon them and give them great comfort. Lord, we come to you as always in the name of our Savior, your Son, Jesus Christ, his name with these thanks. Amen.
SPEAKER_03:Amen. Thank you to each of you for joining us today on the Road Traveled, and we look forward to meeting you on your road.
SPEAKER_00:You've been listening to The Road Travel, where real faith meets real life. Remember, every step matters, even the hard ones. So keep walking your road with courage, conviction, and Christ leading the way. Until next time, your hosts, Aaron and Alan, say, we'll see you down the road.