Mentoring Moments with Dominic Armano

 What if the most important metric in a school isn't a test score, but the number of students who can't wait to walk through the doors each morning? Dom Armano, an elementary principal with nearly 20 years in education and a board member of the Long Island Coalition Against Bullying, believes leadership is built on relationships, belonging, and shared leadership. He shares how to create a culture where bullying struggles to take root, why giving teachers permission to build relationships before curriculum changes everything, and whether he'd rather mentor a teacher who's all heart or one who's all organization. This is a conversation about leading with love — and why it's okay to have bad days. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to the Mentoring Moments, Empowering Leaders to Mentor Our Future podcast. I am Dr. Rob Wadawa and believe that through teacher and leader mentorship we can impact our future through our influences on students. As much as we believe in the power and impact of mentorship, many shy away from this rewarding work. The goal of these episodes is to lean into the work with teachers and leaders, hear their stories, and have fun with the mentoring process. Alright, so welcome to mentoring moments. And what is the most uh important metric in a school that wasn't a test score, right? But the most number of students who can't wait to walk through the doors each morning meet Dominic Armano, an elementary principal with nearly 20 years in education, a board member of the Long Island Coalition Against Bullying, and a leader whose philosophy is built on three things relationships, belonging, and shared leadership. Whether he's empowering staff, partnering with families, or inspiring kids to lead with kindness, Dominic's mission is to build a school community where every person feels seen, valued, and eager to contribute. Today we're talking about leading with heart, uh creating a culture that resists bullying before it even starts. And of course, whether he'd rather mentor an incredible relationship builder but struggles with deadlines, or a teacher who's highly organized but struggles to connect with kids. So, Dominic, welcome to mentoring moments. How's it going, man?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Wow, Rob, thank you so much for having me. Um that introduction just makes me seem a lot cooler than I actually am. So I appreciate that. Um, if you could actually maybe tell my wife that, that would be great. That so, no, but um, listen, it's a pleasure to be here on the show. Uh, you know, um, it's just it's an honor, man. I just uh love talking to you, I love hanging out. So uh it's gonna be a good time. I'm really excited about it.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Yeah, it was so great to connect, you know. Uh I guess it was uh a year and a half ago we were at a conference and it was like, oh my goodness, and um, and then we've kind of stayed in connection, um, done some other work uh, you know, with uh some other organizations, which is great. And you know, just like we know on Long Island we always connect at all these different conferences, so it's so great to be teaming with you on a lot of different levels. So I'm gonna jump right into our first theme questions here. So this is our theme of building a culture of belonging and safety. Um and you know, this is really interesting because you wear many hats, right? So um, so this is a question of like you serve currently on this Long Island coalition against bullying. And um, so beyond kind of the programs that you you kind of talk through or I think you work through, what are some of the tangible daily practices that you might have embedded in your school from that coalition to build a culture where bullying and struggle um can take root?

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Um and this is a fantastic question. Um and uh quite honestly, like you know, Rob, you you mentioned it we're both on Long Island, so I do have to give a huge shout out to Joe Salomone, who is the founder and executive director of the Long Island Coalition Against Bullying. Um, you know, I've I've worked with him um f over the course of many years in the capacity of being a board member, um, you know, in the capacity of just kind of helping and advising. Um, you know, I think one of the biggest things in or takeaways from that organization is creating that true culture of caring within your school community, right? Um and it's fostering this understanding that we are a family and that we are here to support each other. Um and it's easier said than done, right? And and I I I'm a firm believer in that comes from the top, um, specifically in the messaging to the kids, right? Um, and also just when we commit to do something as a team, as that team building, as that social emotional learning piece, um, it has to be more than a one-shot deal. Um, so really it's just an overall approach and nurturing every single aspect of a child's development. Um, you know, working with Joe and that partnership and having him come in, um, and he's come into my building and we've done workshops together, and he's actually spoken to my students and has really gotten like hands-on with them about just what bullying means. But then when he leaves, taking it to the next level by making sure that the kids just truly feel supported, um, and then putting them together through restorative circles and just making them feel like that they're part of a family, you know, um, creating that culture of we are who we are, we are a family, we're here to support you. Um, when students, and again, I I, you know, I'm I'm a firm believer in that kids are gonna be kids and kids are gonna make mistakes, right? When they make mistakes is bringing them together, having that dialogue, you know, not having students just get into conflict and then never ever speaking again or keeping them separated, that's not gonna do anything. But getting them together, having them talk about it, um, and understanding of like, hey, I hurt you and I'm sorry for that, and then having the other child realize that they hurt them and then talking about that kind of brings them together. So it's just kind of like a holistic approach, you know, a top-down of just kind of saying, like, we're all one, we all make mistakes, but we all get through it together. So um, like I said, it's it's it's easier said than done, but it's more of just a ph philosophy and and practice.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

So Yeah, no, you you you really hit on some wonderful points here, you know. So um we just I just dropped an episode with a good friend of mine, Dan Brazil, he's an art teacher, and he talked about kids being kids, right? And you know, he teaches in a junior high, and he and he, you know, he had a kid that was like being a little bit of a knucklehead, and he's like, Hey, can't you just be normal? Can't you the kid turns around and's like, Mr. Brazil, what were you like when you were 12? Right? And he's like, Oh, I was just like you, you know, like so like we the kids are kids, you know, and yes, um, you know, and you really touched on something that Darren and I really unpacked a couple couple months ago, like you know, being a school leader, but and also being a teacher, you know, you know, I always believe teachers are leaders and leaders and teachers, but but um we have to parent our kids. You know, there's so many times that that you as a building principal or as a district leader, you're sitting with a child and you're talking through things and it's the same conversation or the same approach that I had with my daughters, you know. So it's it's so important that and I'm so glad that you brought that up because it's a family, you know, and 100%. You know, and when you look at the the when you look at your building and your kids that you that you work with as as a family, you treat them differently, you know, and and they're all gems. So that's that's awesome. And I I hope that you you I'm sure that you inspire your teachers to do the same through that modeling, which is fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Yeah, you know, I think one of the things like you just kind of hit the nail on the head, you know, elementary specifically, I you know, I I've been an elementary school teacher or administrator my entire career. Um you know, they're in that building for the most time that they're in in any educational setting ever. So by the time these students enter in sometimes pre-K or even kindergarten and then leave in fifth grade, um, if they don't have that, like where together, where one, where a family, they're never gonna get that anywhere else. And and and I believe that's really important that we have that philosophy. Um, like I said, sometimes we have success and sometimes we don't, but you know, I like to I like to try for that and push hard for that.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

So yeah, you know, so you know, you're right. And one of the things that I work hard as a district leader is um I try I look at the buildings and I try to figure out where where to bridge the gaps between buildings. So every time you change a building, what activities are we doing to bring people in or mentor, you know, bring the older kids down so this, you know, so this way there's that that cohesiveness. And of course, as they move older, they move into the academic realm. So with that question, with that thought in mind, here's my next question for you. How do you mentor a teacher who believes that academics should be first and to see that to kind of and and get them to shift to kind of see that that social emotional learning and that sense of belonging is foundational to their academic success?

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Um, you know, this is probably uh I've actually I've experienced this so many times through my career. Um and honestly, you know, I I hate to uh I hate to sound so, I don't know, like stereotypical or like, but you know, I'm I'm currently writing, um actually I'm editing a book right now with Road to Awesome. You had mentioned Darren Um Peppard, shout out to Darren Peppard. But um one of the topics that we talk about is uh setting the tone, right? Setting the tone as not only an instructional leader, um, but as a mentor. I know that's right up your alley, Rob, and and all the stuff you talk about. But I I do believe that this comes with the messaging, right? So educators, teachers, for the most part, in my experience, um, especially in elementary school, they're given a curriculum, um, they're given a scope and sequence, and they have to get going, right? Um, you know, when, especially in a world, unfortunately, that we live in where, you know, data means something, you know, they look at the data, they look at test scores, and now we have to drive instruction. What are we gonna do? Um, as a very early assistant principal, I've been doing this for a total of 13 years. Um, I was a fairly young assistant principal. I was 28 years old when I was first appointed to be an AP in New York City. Um, and my mentality was yes, scope and sequence, day one, data, data, data, data, data. Um, I had to take a step back and realize that that wasn't really doing justice to the kids because when students have a relationship with their teacher and they feel comfortable with the teacher, they ultimately do better, right? Um, when kids feel comfortable coming to school and want to come to school, they do better in school. It's the same thing like us as adults. Like if I feel comfortable or I want to go or do something, I'm usually better at it because I want to do it. Um, if I don't want to do something, I'm gonna be cranky about it and not want to go. Same thing with kids. Kids are just little versions of adults, right? Um, so it was my messaging. It was the way I set the tone, you know, and I actually come up in front of my staff every year during that opening faculty meeting that we have on Superintendent's Conference Day or Chancellor's Conference Day in New York City and say, it's okay for you to pause, get to know your students. Um and my messaging has been I want you to do that. I want you to take a step back. You know, obviously we're here to teach the kids and you have to do that, but I want you to get to know them first. And if that takes you a week or two weeks or even a month, I'm okay with that. You know, obviously I I don't expect them to not teach in the first month, but you know, the idea there is to take time to make building a relationship with your kids part of the curriculum. Um, and that comes with me, like I said, in in setting the tone. When I first came to the building I'm in, I spent 16 years in the city, and this is my third year currently where I am on Long Island. I took my first pretty much six months um and listened and got to know my staff, met with them one-on-one, asked them questions, talked to them, you know, not even so much about who they are as an educator, just who they are as a person, you know, marriage, kids, sister, husband, uncle, sports teams that they like. Um, because I believe that the relationship is what drives the success. Um, so it's all about that modeling, setting the tone, and letting teachers know it's okay. It's okay to take a minute to get to know your kids before you jump right into it.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah, you know, um, I was just, it was just just reading on John Maxwell a book uh about uh building leaders, you know, uh from as a leader, you know, and one of the things that he talks about is when he was young in his career, he made the mistake of thinking that he can just move through things. And he talks about that how you've got to build a relationship, you know, and how we can't do anything without having that that relationship first. He talked about data over over relationships, you know, and one of the things that I think is really important for people to realize is we always talked about data-driven instruction, but it really should be data-informed decisions. You know, we talked about data-driven instruction, no, data-informed decisions because there's a story behind there. And if you have that relationship with your kids, you're gonna know that story. And you know, so you're sitting in a team meeting and you're talking about the data, and then you're like, but you know what? The reason the data is like that is because of this. That's so powerful. And you know, those are the things that we do. And I'm so glad that you're instilling that in your staff. It's the same thing I say to my my first year teachers and my new teachers all the time. That's the old uh saying, you know, people will forget what you said, they forget what you made you do did. And I even add, they'll probably forget what you taught them, but they'll they'll never forget how you made them feel. So if we can empower our people and empower our kids, they're gonna they're gonna move forward. And this thing that I was been I've been talking about, thinking about writing about recently, um, so I'll I'll kind of put a teaser out there, is that I think we've been using the wrong term for many years. We talk about classroom management, we should talk about classroom leadership. And if we talk about talk classroom leadership, what will happen is we have our kids buying into what we're doing and they're gonna buy into the classroom, and none of those kids want to be bossed around like a man by a manager. They want they want to be cared for and empowered. So which so which takes me to the next theme. I did that perfectly. Wow, shared leadership and empowering others. Um, so your approach is rooted in the shared leadership mind mindset, right? So give us an example of a time that you may have handed over a significant uh decision or leadership to your staff or your students. Um, and what was the outcome? And then what did you learn from that?

SPEAKER_01 13:43

So I I struggled with this very early on, and I and I actually have the perfect uh scenario for you or story. Um, so again, I was uh, you know, I I love I when I look at my career and I look at it as a whole, um, I I I am amazed. Um I I consider myself lucky, right? I I honestly don't think I'm an expert. I'm not this like educational guru. I'm a kid that was literally in the right place at the right time. Um, I got a job in New York City because it was very hard to find a job out on Long Island when I graduated. Um, and then got my administration degree, became the assistant principal of the building I was in, ultimately became the principal of the building I was in. And again, as a young assistant principal, I was Superman. I could do everything. I needed help from no one. Um and and my staff at the time was more seasoned, right? So they were there for many years, and I'm this new young uh hotshot is exactly what they called me, right? Um, who I kind of I felt like I had to prove myself, you know. Um, and they also reminded me several times, like, hey, you have to prove yourself, right? Um, so I felt like I could do it all. So I never wanted to give up that distributive leadership. I, you know, my principal always talked about distributive leadership and the importance of it, and thank God he was all about that because I don't think I would be where I am today if he didn't give leadership to me. But I struggled. So anyway, um, there was a teacher in my building, she was a special education teacher, she was probably year two or year three. Um, her name is uh Christina Lamarca. I'm gonna give her a shout out. I know she's gonna listen to this. Um, but um it was she was probably like year two or year three. Um she was teaching fourth grade, and uh it landed on my desk to coordinate a fourth grade trip to Albany. The kids would go to Albany and they would perform and sing, and it was a thing. Um the trip was it happened just around the same time as New York State Assessment. So here I am like doing the test coordinator thing, trying to plan this trip, like multitasking, all this stuff. And my principal was literally like, you have to give one thing up. So I said, All right, since Christina is, you know, she's a fourth grade teacher, I said, you know what? I called her in, I said, Listen, why don't you help me plan this trip? So I gave her everything to do to plan this trip to fourth grade. It kind of made her the point person on it. Um, went on the trip with the kids, handled situations that occurred on the trip, came back, you know, that night. Obviously, I waited in the building until they came back. It was one of those long days, so it's like eight, eight thirty, nine o'clock. The kids are coming back on the shuttle buses. Um, and I just saw her. I saw her like on the bus with the checklist, like, you're here, you're here, you're here. Okay, mom's not here yet, don't go anywhere. She's like multitasking on the phone, blah, blah, blah. And then I said to her, I said, you know, I think you should go to school uh to be an administrator. And she kind of looked at me and made a face, like, what? And I said, Yes. I said, You could be a great assistant principal. Um, make a very, very long story short, fast forward probably about seven years. I'm the principal of that building. Christine is my assistant principal of that building. Um, I had left to come out on the island. She was became the principal of the building while, you know, um, and she's just having a very successful career in that role in school leadership. And um I owe it all to my principal, John Buffer, who told me I need to kind of give it up or distributive leadership. Um, and you know, the way it unfolds is she ultimately found her path in a direction where she didn't think she was actually going, but because of I don't know, mentoring or guiding or whatever you want to call it, um, is doing very successful now. And I'm I'm very proud of her. So it's a that there's my story.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Yeah, that was a great story, you know. And and my one of the time reasons I got into leadership, you know, a person's shared with me, like they said it's the larger classroom, you know. So the impact, how you know, you go into a space with as a teacher, you impact 30 kids, 25 kids. As a leader, you impact 20 teachers times 30 kids, you know, it grows. Yep. Um, so you that's a perfect story of like you are the class, you're the teacher of the classroom of the teacher, and saying, I'm gonna give my leadership away and you're gonna you're gonna run with this. Um, and you're empowering people to do that. And you know, there's a lot of research out there, a lot of work out there that talks about that that distributed leadership um and how it really helps cultivate a trust and building and all those things, and and and it's a better return on yourself, you know. Yeah, there's there's people out there that say too that if you really want to do a great job, you really should teach work yourself out of your own job. You know, you should be training your people so well that they can do your job, which is a great thing. So, my next question you kind of sort of answered, so I'm gonna ask it anyway, see if you got another story in that in that awesome uh experience of yours, right? So, how do you how do you identify you? So, this this person kind of came to you, but how do you identify and nurture leadership in teachers who don't see it themselves as leaders at all?

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Oh wow, this is um this is a great question. Um, you know, again, I I I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I think it goes back to that relationship piece, right? So if if I'm a very firm believer in that as a building principle, um, and again, I I think I think I really do believe that every role, no matter what your role is in education, is important, right? I say this all the time. Whether you are a school aide, a custodian, a district administrator, a building administrator, like we all have a very important role in molding and shaping the lives of children, right? Little people. Um, but I I'm a very firm believer in like if you establish and you create these relationships with your staff, right? You're able to see them differently and they're able to see you differently. Um, when teachers feel comfortable with you, they tend to open up. They tend to come to you and say, Listen, I have concerns with this, or I have struggles with this, or like, hey, you know, Dom, I did something really great. I just I want you to see it. You know, I I want you to pop by. Like, I'm feeling really good about this. Why don't you come by and see? I think it's within those moments when you're now looking at people for who they are, you see their leadership ability in them. Um, if you don't have that relationship and you're just going into a classroom, you're just looking for instructional practices, right? Like if you don't really know your people and you go in there, you're just looking for small group instruction, differentiation. I mean, we could rattle it all all day, every day. But when if you know your people and you go into a classroom and you're looking at them from the lens of a person, a human being, someone that you trust and they trust you, you can pinpoint those areas of leadership that they didn't necessarily know they had.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

100%. You know, um there's a lot of a lot of things. I mean, you can go on and on and on about relationships, right? And and I just want to touch on one little thing, you know, you talk about um the roles of people in the in the in the in a building or in a district. And I I talk about this a lot. I ask people, you know, who's the most important person in a kindergartner's life on the first day of school? And most people say the teacher, right? And I say, no, it's the bus driver. I was just gonna say that, right? Yeah, because the bus if that bus driver can't get that crying kid on the bus, ain't they ain't coming to school, you know. So I was just gonna say that. You know, so everybody is important, right? So you work real hard, you know, and you you spend a lot of time with your kids at school, a lot of time with your teachers, you know, these coalitions, things that you're doing. You know, so let's talk about this balanced, heart-centered leadership in our daily routines, right? So give us like a five-minute reconnection strategy for when you um or your staff have a tough day and kind of need to recenter their why.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

You know, this is this is this is I think um definitely one of those questions that's really thought-provoking, right? Um you know, when I when I came into um when I came into the building uh three years ago, we were tasked with creating um a new mission, vision, goals, you know. Um, and as a new principal coming into a building that I really didn't know the culture of, I d you know, I didn't know the people, I didn't know really much about anyone there. Um I was definitely very nervous about doing this, you know, definitely very nervous about creating a set of goals. Collaboratively, that was going to be the driving force of who we are as a school community. They didn't know me, I didn't know them, and so here we are. Um one of the things that I actually did to create these goals was try to reconnect the staff uh of their why, like why they do what they did. Um and one of the activities that we did that I I I found very um interesting was I had them create something that I called a journey map. Um and I asked them to think about a teacher that they had in their past that made a significant impact on them. Think about a person or a student or a child that's made a significant impact on them, and it didn't have to be someone like when I say child, you know, I reference it could be their own children. Um and just kind of really focus on how they got to this point. And it was very difficult. And and and a lot of people, it's funny, like a lot of people always go back to like a teacher that you know gave them this lesson, or you know, uh the student that they you know struggled with. Um but we just I just I don't know it. I I had them keep revisiting their stories, revisiting their past. I had them share their experiences. I shared my experience. You know, I talked about a lot about you know why I went into this profession. And you know, I joke all the time. I spent a lot of my K through 12 education in the principal's office, which is why I think I'm there now. I was just really used to it as a student. Um, and um, you know, I I don't remember, and and I've had this with my staff, I don't remember a a teacher really making an impact in my career as a student. I don't. Um, what I do remember are those principles. You know, I just today I had a conversation with my dad about um my elementary school principal, Dr. Levine. Um, we ran a um fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald house, and I had raised the most funds, and one of the awards was that he would take us out for breakfast. And so me and a friend got in Dr. Levine's car. This was like 1991, so it was a different time. Got in his car, yeah, drove us to the Olympic diner in Deer Park and ordered breakfast, and I remember that, you know. Um, so again, that you know, it it was just about like having the teachers remember those small moments of their world and kind of connect them with why they do what they do, um, and sharing my experience and having the courage to do that, like standing in front of a brand new staff and telling them that their principal was the kid that sat in the principal's office, you know, like you know, that was that was a lot, but you know, in the end, we did get a lot of stories, and I did get a lot of teachers saying that, you know, I brought back memories of them that they forgot, you know, and they you know, and and you do see it, you do see that. But it's it's that is tough, Rob. I'm not gonna lie. That's that's a tough one to accomplish and do.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

And but yeah, no, I I agree with you, you know, and uh similarly, you know, this is my first year where I am, and uh my teachers had five of me in the past seven years, so a lot of inconsistency. Yeah, so so I was like, same idea. How do I regroup our our department? How do we redo this? Um, so similarly, but I used belief statements. I had staff, yeah. We had created a belief statement, and and the the question that I I asked them with, and we did a Mentimeter, I said to them, you know, what do you want our kids to remember after a year with you or after going through our entire K through 12 program? What do you want them to walk away with? And we came up with a whole bunch of different things, right? So then we we we surveyed it, got some things, but then we started creating statements. Um, and what I did with this, and I had one teacher that that's that's looking to be a future leader, uh, after the second or third time we're working through things, they're like, Oh, we've never actually done stuff in our department meeting, so this is kind of cool, you know? And they're like, Like, why are we doing this? I was like, Well, a belief statement's gonna become an if-then statement. So when you come to me and say, I want to make this change, or I want to bring this program in around, we're gonna go, well, if we believe dot dot dot, then, and then you add your new thing, and if it fits, we're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

Yeah, we spent, oh, sorry to cut you off. You know, I just we we we spent um several months, almost the better part of the first year, creating these missions and goals and whatnot, and and similar, you know, staff, several staff members said, just tell me what to do so I could do it. And I said, But that's not that you know, now in looking at it, and every single one of my teachers' parents, when they look at the goals on the wall, they see themselves in that. And and and so, like what you were saying, I think that's key is that you just you take your time. If you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it right, you know. Um, and yeah, so I that's awesome. I I I love that. I think that's great. I actually wrote down what you said. I think that's a great activity to do.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Yeah, you know, and and like it allows you to figure out how do we operate, you know, and so when when people come to me with ideas or weird things or they want to get rid of something or whatever, you just go back to the belief statement and say, Well, do we does this match this?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Um, you know, so you talked about, you know, we're talking about a little bit of balance here, right? So you, you know, as a husband and father, and you and I are similar in that case. How do you model and communicate the importance of boundaries, right? Uh, between being a devoted principal and being a devoted devoted to your family and um to your staff.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

You know, also something I was not good at, um, and I'm still learning to get better at. I'm not gonna lie to you. Um, you know, I I I say this all the time. I my wife, um, if she does listen to podcasts, you know, sometimes I'll I'll do a podcast with Darren Peppard and and Todd Bloomer like once a month. We try and get on and do something. Um, I I always give her a huge shout out because she is the most patient wife in the world. And the reason why I say that is because I made a huge mistake year one as a principal, and I and I talk about it all the time, and and I'm gonna talk about it right now. My son, Michael, um he is four years old, he's in pre-K. Uh, he was born in 2021, which was my first year as a principal. Um, so my wife was very pregnant in the summer of uh 2021, and I get a phone call from my superintendent. I was in the city at the time, and he said, Congratulations. He's like, uh, John is retiring, and you are gonna be the principal of PS 84. And I said, Wow, I said Dr. Compost, I was speechless. I was running a summer school at the time. I said you were Dr. Compost, I said, That's amazing. I go, but I I have a problem. There's there's a really big problem. He goes, What's the problem? I said, Well, my wife is very, very pregnant and her due date is the first day of school. And he said, That's not a problem, that's a blessing. He says, you know, you take a couple days off and then you come right to it. I did not take his advice. So I brought Sarah and Michael home from the hospital on a Sunday, and I went to the first day of school on a Monday, and I did not take a single day off until December when my wife sent me a text message and said, Hey, I've been home for four months. Are you gonna take a day off? And so I did, um, and I spent a day with her. Um, and you know, kind of realized over the couple of years as a principal that I wasn't doing what I was preaching, I wasn't putting my money where my mouth was. Staff members would come to me and say they had something going on at home um and they needed to leave, and I would say, go ahead, you know, family first, family first, you do what you need to do. But I wasn't doing that for myself. Um, and then, you know, I there was a teacher. Um I remember uh it was probably my last year in the city. Um, and I forget something there was something happened, someone got sick. I don't know if my daughter was sick or someone was with a fever or one of those things, and my wife couldn't leave, and I had like this, like, uh, and and the teacher basically said to me, like, Did you ever think about just taking your own advice and just family first? Um, and it was that point on, you know, where I really started to make a conscious effort because I saw my kids were getting older and I was missing out on that. Um, you know, that was part of the reason why I I left the city and came to Long Island. I wanted to be closer to home. Um, and so you know, some of the things that I do is, you know, I when I get home, as much as I I give 130% at my building. I am Mr. Armando, I am Principal Armando. Just last night I was a surprise bingo delivery boy. So, like there was a virtual bingo by the PTA, and then they give prizes in real time. Um, but the kids didn't know that I was one ringing the doorbell and actually giving them a prize. So I went to several students' houses and handed them the prize after they won. I'm all about that. But when I get home, I'm dad, you know, and I know that I have to give the same level of dad that I would give principal. Um, you know, obviously emergencies come up and my superintendent has my cell phone number, so if anything, they'll call me and I would have to take that call or deal with that. But I really try to be dad at home and principal at work. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

I'm guilty of those things too. You know, you I said family first all the time, and um at one point Kim had said to me, you know, you say it to everybody else, but when are you gonna start doing it yourself? Yeah. And um, you know, and and I I I never missed any of my daughter's concerts. My oldest has just started college, you know, and and it's been a great, great ride. Um, and you know, I work really hard to to do that life balance, but it is tough, you know, like you said. And and uh there's times now where basically, you know, five o'clock on a Friday, I mean I have my phone on me, but I don't check my emails. I don't know, no, I try really hard because um you get wrapped up real quick. And like you said, if somebody needs you, they'll call you.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Yeah, exactly. Yes, yeah. The you know, I I learned that the email is not the emergency that you know, like the phone call is, you know, and and and you just you know it it's again, it's easier said than done. You've been there. I think most leaders have been there. Um, but at the end of the day, I've just started to learn like I don't want to I don't want to miss those things, you know, and and no one is gonna fault you for being a dad or or a husband, no one's gonna fault you for that, you know? So cool.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

So all right, my friend, we are just uh about our 35 minute mark, and we are ready for the RW rapid fire questions, which you had ahead of time. So are you yeah, are you ready, my friend?

SPEAKER_01 32:31

I think so. I think so.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

All right, all right, cool. So number one, uh, this is the one we opened up with too, right? Would you rather mentor a teacher who's an incredible relationship builder but struggles with deadlines, or one who's highly organized but struggles to connect with kids?

SPEAKER_01 32:47

So I thought about this a lot. I really did. Um, and I actually even turned this question and asked Darren Peppard it on one of our podcasts. I did give you credit, though. I did give you credit. Um, so there's a huge part of me that says I want to be able to mentor the teacher that struggles with building relationships. But the reality of it is probably the other way around. Um, you know, relationships is is key, right? Um, and it and if you are great at making relationships, all of the other stuff can be taught and worked with, right? I could teach you how to do the the reports and the lesson plans and the deadlines and all of that. Um, again, it goes back to what I kind of originally said where I give my teachers the latitude to build those relationships first. That's what I want you to do. I want you so again, the the deadlines, all that stuff, we'll work on that. You continue building those relationships because that's what's going to make you successful and that's what's gonna make your kids successful. We'll work on all the other stuff.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Yeah, that's you know, it takes me back to my mentoring moments in the sense that uh when you're hiring teachers and you ask why do you want to be a teacher? I always ask them that question. And you know, sometimes you get that crazy answer, well, you have summers off, nice salary, you know, and it's like, okay, goodbye. Because my philosophy, my philosophy is like you just said, I can't teach you to love kids. Yeah, but I can I can teach you how to plan a lesson. So all right, number two, what's the most well-intentioned but damaging piece of advice that you've heard about classroom, oh, here's the word classroom management, classroom culture, school culture.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

So this one, so I thought about this a lot too. Um, and this I I go all the way back to my first year as a teacher. Um, my first year as a teacher, I was a um actually a sixth, seventh, and eighth grade teacher in a Catholic school here on Long Island. I did one year in a Catholic school before I went to the Department of Education. Um, and the advice that I got was don't smile till Christmas. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

I just said that to one of my new teachers. That's the jug, oh, I've heard that before, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yeah. Um, and I think, I think, you know, I I think it was meant in well-intentioned because I think like the mentality was don't give up. Like you control the classroom, you're the teacher, you're the the per the manager, right? You said that before of the classroom, and you have to maintain that classroom management and blah blah blah. But all of that is at the expense of uh of building a relationship. Like you're not not smiling to Christmas is not building a relationship with the kids. So, like, what are we really talking about here? So I think that right there is probably the worst and most damaging advice um anyone can get because I would actually flip it and say, have the biggest smile on your face on the first day of school. We're fun, it's here. We're this is school, we're here to learn, we're gonna have a great time together. That should be the message. So yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

You know, what's the old saying? There's a poster that my friend gave me uh the teacher who loves teaching, teach creates kids who love learning, you know. So yep, you know, so that's what we got to do. All right, so morning assembly or end of the day huddle.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Oh, you know, I love the end of the day huddle. Um, you know, I just think like, you know, uh my thing is so many things can happen in the course of a day, right? Um, you know, uh and I look at uh I was just thinking about my two faculty meetings. Like I I've had I've had faculty meetings in the morning and then I've had faculty meetings in the afternoon. Um I just love to reflect, you know. I I love to hear the highs and lows of the day, you know. I I love to talk about the things that worked and maybe talk about the things that didn't. And so I'm I'm all about the end of the day huddle and reflection and you know, figuring out how we can move forward and do better if we have to. Or celebrate if we don't, you know, that's the other thing. So at the end of the day, we can really celebrate in all the positives as well.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

So yeah, you always have to celebrate with your staff, you have to recognize your staff, you always have to do those things. But um, I'm a believer in the reflection, just like you. So when I when I do my mentoring meetings, um I I'm really formal about taking notes, and then after about a day, I usually go back to my my office and I write a nice reflection email to the teacher with an expectation of what were your takeaways. You know, because at the end of the day, I want teachers, new teachers, I want them to learn that while you're driving home, your brain should be running, you know, and like building those skills. All right, so let's end with our mic drop closer here. Dom. So we're gonna finish this sentence. A school's true climate isn't set by the principal's office, it's set by the people that are inside the building. Uh yes. Relationships, right? So, yes, it's all about relations. So, Dom, thank you so much for being here on mentoring moments. I'll give you a moment here. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with our audience uh before we head out?

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Yeah, I just you know, one of the biggest things and one of the biggest takeaways um that I've always had um in mentoring new staff and talking to new staff is this philosophy of it's okay. Um and and people look at me, and I've said this to my new teachers all the time, um, and then I kind of double down by saying it's okay to have bad days, it's okay to have good days, it's okay to say I messed up, it's okay to say I want to do better, it's okay to say I did great, it's okay. At the end of the day, if we have this philosophy of continuous improvement or growth um and understanding that mistakes are gonna happen, um, it's okay because we're gonna get through it together. And so that's the biggest piece of advice I have for new teachers. Um, and I kind of wish someone gave that to me early on because you know, as I reflect and look back on my own career, there were plenty of times I went home and I was just like not okay with saying it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

So that's a great piece of advice, and I'll just give a pro mentor tip based on that. So I just came up with this this year. So for new teachers, and this is a great little strategy, tell them to start a journal so when those good things happen, they can write it down because you and I know they're not going to get those positive notes right away. If they journal down what the positive things are and then they have that bad day, they can go to that journal and they can go, oh, I'm here for a reason. So uh that's my pro mentor tip. So thanks so much, Dom, for being here. Thank you all um for being part of mentoring moments, and we will catch you soon. So thanks again and have a good one.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Thank you, Rob.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Yep. All right.