Step Out of Line: Building Power, Purpose, and Presence with Peri Finkelstein

Stand back! This is what a rockstar sounds like. 🤩

Peri Finkelstein doesn’t just tell a story, she commands attention.

In this episode, she shares what it took to move through years of being underestimated, bullied, and boxed in… and how she turned all of it into fuel for something far bigger than herself. 💪

Founder of the Team Peri Foundation, podcast host of Step Out of Line, speaker, and unapologetic truth-teller, Peri is building a life rooted in resilience, inclusion, and radical self-definition.

There is a moment in this conversation where she describes refusing to be measured by limitation, and instead choosing to speak from power. It changes EVERYTHING! And, it makes you think about your own life where you need to “step out of line.”

But what makes Peri unforgettable is not just what she’s overcome, it’s how she shows up in the world: courageous, thoughtful, brilliant, grounded, and unshakably herself, defined by no one else but herself. 👊

This is a conversation about voice. About courage. And about what happens when you decide you are no longer stepping aside for anyone.

If you’ve ever been told to stay in line… this episode may be your invitation to step out of it. 👏👌
Peri, your words and your accomplishments have really inspired me!  I am grateful our paths have crossed. 🥰

Please check out Peri’s exceptional TED Talk narrated by Mayim Bialek here

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hi everyone, I'm Gilly, founder of Gilly's Organics, and the host of Everyday Rock Stars. So I came across this rock star through the very cool group, Entreprenista, and we have a chat group where it says, What's going on? And I see this title for podcast guest called Step Out of Line. And I just love the name. So I clicked on and I met this incredible woman. Perry R. Finkelstein is our guest today. She is someone who truly embodies what it means to step out of line in the most powerful way. Perry is a speaker, change maker, founder, podcast host, and someone who has redefined what it means to have a voice. She may have a language impairment, but make no mistake, she is one of the clearest, strongest voices I've encountered, not just in how she speaks, but in how she leads, builds, connects, and challenges the world to think differently. Through Team Perry, her powerful TEDx talk, and the Step Out of Line podcast, she has created more than a platform. She has created a movement rooted in inclusion, courage, and the belief that none of us are meant to live inside someone else's expectations. Perry does not just talk about stepping out of line, she lives it and she invites the rest of us to do the same. Perry, I am so honored to have you here today. Please note that Perry is using a communication device. Perry, the phrase step out of line is so powerful. Take us back to the first moment in your life when you realized you were not meant to live inside the lines other people drew for you. What was happening and what shifted inside of you?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Near the end of my junior year at Adelphi University, I applied for the prestigious Willemstad Leadership Scholars Program, open only to top students in the business school. Part of the process was a 30-minute Zoom interview with a professor, a coordinator, and the dean. Toward the end, they asked about team building and leadership challenges, things like building marshmallow towers and other physically demanding tasks. When they asked how I'd participate, something clicked. I thought, that's it. I've had it. I told them straight, if they wanted someone to compete in physically demanding challenges, I wasn't their girl. But if they wanted someone with brains, drive, and the ability to multitask and make things happen, I was that girl. I asked them to consider me for my academic merits and accomplishments, not my ability to conquer the coveted marshmallow challenge. The panel was speechless. And in that moment, something inside me burst. For the first time, I decided I wasn't going to pretend everything was fine, or shrink myself to fit expectations. I would voice my opinions, be unapologetically me, and stop worrying about what others thought. As much as I wanted to be in the prestigious program, I refused to compromise who I am. A fire was lit inside me that day, and I realized I was meant to always be out of line. I created my own space, embraced my strengths, and I am proud of who I am. And as it turns out, I was enough, as I ended up being selected for the program by a unanimous vote. This story is one I often share during speaking engagements because it reminds people that daring to be yourself, even when it goes against expectations, is always worth it.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I love this moment for you, and it took a lot of courage to do that. But it but it set you on the path that you're on now and showed you you could do it, which ugh. It's incredible. No, thank you. So, Perry, you've interviewed a lot of inspiring people in your Step Out of Line podcast. Was there one conversation that changed you, that challenged your thinking or expanded how you see your own purpose?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

As you can imagine, every podcast episode I produce is a labor of love. And in some small way, or sometimes a big way, I walk away changed. Over 119 episodes later, I've been gifted mentors through these conversations who have helped shape who I am today. Some relationships have grown closer than others, but every guest has left an imprint. When I first started the podcast, one mentor told me that when seeking guests, I should focus on the common man, while another told me to go big or go home. I decided to follow the latter advice while also highlighting ordinary yet extraordinary stories. Interestingly enough, some of those have become my favorite episodes, not just the celebrity interviews. One of the first episodes we ever published on the Team Perry Step Out of Line podcast really set the tone for me. Entrepreneur Brandon Steiner said something that stuck with me. When your back is against the wall, that's the most exciting time in your life. Since launching the Team Perry Foundation and pursuing my TEDx dream, there have been countless moments when my back felt against the wall. But Steiner's words reminded me that I could handle it, and that the power to push forward was already within me. Another guest, Dana Arshan, gave me advice when I needed it most. At one point, I was receiving a lot of hate on social media for being open about my story. Trolls were brutal, commenting on my appearance and my long face, calling me ugly or brainless, telling me I should drop dead, even questioning how my parents could have a child like me. Dana reminded me that only successful people have haters. If no one is bothered by what you're doing, then you're probably not pushing hard enough. And last but not least, Alex Borstein, who was actually the inspiration behind this entire podcast, once said something else that stuck with me. If you feel like you're fitting in, you might be peeking too soon. Each guest brings their own perspective, wisdom, and lived experience. And every conversation expands the way I see the world and my own purpose. What the podcast has really taught me is that growth often happens when you're uncomfortable, when you're challenged, when you need to flex that resilient muscle, when you're willing to embrace the unknown, and when you're willing to step out of line.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Oh my gosh, I love that. Those three are total rock stars too, Perry. Wow. I love everything that they had to say. So true. I can't believe that people are so disgustingly cruel that they would talk on. I mean, I've had trolls too, and it hurts. Let's talk a little bit about growing up because I know you faced some really big challenges socially, academically, personally. Was there a season in childhood or adolescence that felt especially hard, maybe even isolating? And what belief or support system helped you move through it instead of being defined by it?

SPEAKER_00 8:19

It probably won't surprise anyone when I say that I was severely bullied growing up. Students with disabilities are often prime targets. Our perceived differences and what I call a disabled aura can make people treat you like you have the cooties, automatically turning you into a social outcast. And when you experience that day after day as a child, you start to believe the silence around you is telling you exactly where you belong. From kindergarten through high school, I was mainstreamed in the public school system. During those years, I became a shell of a person. And my family didn't even know. I kept everything inside. Because I didn't want my parents swooping in and possibly making things worse. I was bullied because of my appearance, how I moved, and how I spoke. One moment that always sticks with me happened in middle school. Friends who I thought were my friends encouraged me to tell a boy I liked that I liked him. So one night, on my brand new flip phone, I texted him. The next day, the head mean girl wrote a note and stuffed it in his locker, exposing everything. From that moment on, I was ostracized. Not just from my friend group, but from what felt like was the entire school. There was also a school dance I almost didn't attend. I decided I should try to have that normal teenage experience. I got all dressed up and felt like a princess. A friend had promised to go with me so I wouldn't be alone, but when I arrived, she left me sitting all by myself in the corner. There were other moments too. In middle school, a teacher's aide hit my arm to get my attention, even though I was already paying attention, and hurt me. When my mom found out, she went to the school and made it very clear that if anyone ever laid a hand on me again, there would be consequences. That aide eventually found another position in the school system. During those years, I truly lost myself. There were moments when I even wished I didn't exist. Throughout all of these years, I was so broken that the only place I had left to turn was my academics. My books became my escape. I never struggled with the world of academia. I just needed accommodations. And at some point, I realized something important. My brain was the one thing nobody could take away from me. So I demanded a lot of myself. I made the dean's list every semester, even through college and graduate school, because I poured everything I had into my studies. Intelligence was the one thing nobody could touch. It was and still is my superpower, my moneymaker. From kindergarten through middle school, I attended resource room classes, not because I was behind intellectually, but because I missed so much school due to medical issues and surgeries. I needed help catching up and often getting ahead, and I was subsequently bullied for that. There was one bright spot during middle school. My brother was a senior in high school when I was in sixth grade, and sometimes he would walk over the bridge between the buildings just to check on me and make sure I was okay. Those small moments meant more than he probably ever realized, even though I truly wasn't okay. The school psychologist also arranged for students to sit with me at lunch so I wouldn't be alone. But truthfully, it always felt like charity. They were physically there, but they weren't really with me. I was rarely part of the conversation. Later, I transferred to a private high school specifically for students with disabilities. You might think bullying would disappear in that environment, but it didn't. Clicks existed there too, and as the new girl, I was bullied again. In public school, the bullying was verbal and physical. In private school, it was mostly verbal. There was also one person in particular who not only turned students against me, but teachers as well, and made my life a living hell. Once again, I held it all inside. I was ashamed and felt like I had to fake being okay. Academically, the private school also didn't challenge me the way public school had. Public school had trained me to fight, to work ten times harder than everyone else, and to work smarter too. The private school's philosophy was more about helping students survive in the world. Learn the basics, find a respectable career, and don't rock the boat. But people like me don't want to be underestimated. When teachers assume we can't handle something and give us lighter workloads, we often respond by doing the opposite, taking every extra credit assignment, going above and beyond, and proving what we're capable of. During my senior year of high school, I essentially took a gap year and was homeschooled because nursing support wasn't available. In hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. That year taught me how to advocate for myself, how to learn beyond the textbook, and how to exceed expectations simply because I knew I could. I've always loved exploring beyond what was assigned. Some teachers even scolded me for moving too fast or working ahead, but I didn't care. So, yes, in many ways, I was an oddity, graduating near the top of my class as salutatorian, despite everything I had experienced. Looking back, those years were incredibly painful, but they also built the resilience I carry with me today. In many ways, that's where the idea of stepping out of line really began. Refusing to let other people's expectations determine what I'm capable of. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Not what you went through, but I love what you came out on top with that. Wow. You have this incredibly powerful TED Talk called Always Wanting More and Stepping Out of Line. You speak about pushing beyond expectations. What did you most hope people would walk away understanding? Not about you, but about themselves.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

When I was writing my TEDx talk, the words almost fell out of me. It felt like the story had always been there, but I simply wasn't ready to tell it yet. For months I continued to fine-tune the talk, and even then I wasn't sure I was ready for the world to hear it, because it was so deeply personal. In all my life, I had never been that open and honest about my experiences the way I was on that stage. But once my friend and mentor, Maya Mbialik, as well as podcaster, actress, and neuroscientist narrated the talk, my vision truly came to life. And a lot of those fears faded away. When I stood on that stage, and when people watch the talk on the TEDx YouTube channel, I hope that they don't just hear my story, but they start to rethink what's possible in their own lives. I want people to realize that pushing beyond expectations and stepping out of line can actually be one of the best decisions they ever make. I hope it encourages people to challenge themselves, to continue growing as individuals, and to develop a truly inclusive mindset. More than anything, I hope it opens their minds to what's possible, even when obstacles get in the way. Sometimes the only thing standing between you and the life you want is both the courage as well as the audacity to step out of the line.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

It was such an incredible TED Talk, and that's what I got out of it. And I'm gonna link it for everyone to listen because it's that good. And it's it's exceptional. It's exceptional. And I love that you got my embiolic too to narrate that amazing. You have some pretty influential friends, Perry.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Um, and I hope that in your adult life, some of those experiences helped you to really spot the good people and and have some really awesome friends today.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Yeah, yeah. You're so and the friends have more than on my own. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Does not matter at all. Not at all. Some of my best friends are 96 and 85, and then I have friends in their 20s and 30s too. So you've built a brand, you built not just this podcast, but you have a whole brand. You built a movement rooted in inclusion and possibility. So when you look at leadership today, what do you think people get wrong about it? Like, what would you how would you redefine what powerful inclusive leadership really looks like?

SPEAKER_00 18:52

At just 22 years old, I founded my own nonprofit organization, the Team Perry Foundation. As a young female founder in graduate school pursuing my MBA, I was very green, and it was noticeable. I was questioned because of my age and because I'm a woman with a disability. I was scrutinized, misjudged, and constantly called into question. A nonprofit that operates fully virtually with a disabled female founder as CEO isn't very common. I wish more people understood that leaders come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. Too often, people still picture leadership in a very narrow way. Older, experienced, polished, and fitting a certain mold. But leadership doesn't belong to one look, one age, or one background. I may be 26 now, still young, mind you, rather tiny in person, and visibly disabled. But that doesn't make me any less worthy or less powerful. In many ways, I think my naivete actually worked in my favor. I jumped head first into launching my dreams, and if I hadn't taken that leap of faith then, I don't know if I ever would have been ready. Especially as a chronic overthinker. To me, inclusive leadership means welcoming people like myself into the spotlight and into leadership roles. Because we are more than capable. I am a person first. My disability is simply one part of who I am. I'm a passionate, value-driven, and relentless leader who goes after what she wants, no matter what barriers lie ahead. I don't give up easily, and I never back down from a fight. My stubbornness is quite possibly my greatest attribute, along with my persistence and belief that leadership isn't about fitting a mold. It's about creating space for people who were never expected to lead in the first place. Real leadership means recognizing potential in people others might overlook, and making sure they have a seat at the table. Or better yet, the opportunity to build their own table. Because the future of leadership shouldn't be about fitting into the old mold and tradition, it should be about redefining it and building the future where all are welcomed.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Love. Amazing. Perry, now my favorite questions. What do you think keeps you in rock star mode every day? And if you were coming out on stage in front of thousands of people to give that TED talk, and you got to choose an anthem, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 21:45

What keeps me in rock star mode is constantly reminding myself that I only have one life, and nobody else is going to accomplish my goals and dreams for me. The world wasn't built for dreamers. Especially as a person with a disability, we're often expected to think small, simply meet expectations, not rock the boat, and just do what's expected of us. For as long as I can remember, I've refused to live that way. I've always chosen to dream big, because in my mind, it's go big or go home. I don't believe in keeping glass ceilings intact. I believe in shattering them. Most of the time, I'm the trailblazer, doing something that hasn't been done before. And honestly, that doesn't scare me. The unknown has never scared me. My future doesn't scare me. If anything, I embrace it. I'm a dreamer, and I'm not ashamed of that. If chasing those dreams causes a little disruption along the way, so be it. As for my walkout song, that's a tough question as a music lover. I find that I have many songs that represent the moods I am feeling at the time. With that being said, I'd have to go with Stand Back by Stevie Nix. It's bold, powerful, and a little bit rebellious. A risk taker, just like me. People should absolutely stand back and watch me step in and out of the lines. I'm not someone to underestimate.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

No, you are not. Perry, if ever I had a rock star on my show, it's you. I am so, I feel so empowered by our conversation and by your words. And I know that anyone who's gonna watch this is going to want to step out of line a little bit and take your wise words because you are you're a wise young woman. You're half my age, and I'm I absolutely look up to you, and I am really grateful that you came to share your story on my podcast. And I'm cheering you on, and I can't wait to see what you do. You know, you're you're so young, I can't wait to see what what comes for you in in the future, and I'll be following along. Um and and I'm very I'm really grateful. Thank you. Thank you so much.