Reclaiming Me Podcast

The Lies You've Been Living As Truth (And How to Reprogram Your Limiting Beliefs)

• Ariana • Episode 6

Share episode

In this episode of 'Reclaiming Me,' host Ariana Reinhart delves into the lies we live as truths and how they impact our self-worth and potential. The discussion covers the role of the subconscious mind in perpetuating limiting beliefs formed during childhood and how to reprogram these beliefs through self-awareness, cognitive restructuring, and visualization. 

Ariana also touches on the paralyzing effects of perfectionism, sharing personal experiences to illustrate the importance of pushing past fear and stepping out of comfort zones. The episode encourages listeners to reframe their inner dialogue, challenge ingrained negative thoughts, and align their subconscious mind with their conscious desires. 

Listeners are also invited to explore the 'Stop Playing Small' workbook and engage in daily affirmations to bolster their journey towards reclaiming their true selves.

Get your free Unshakeable Confidence: Rediscover Your True Self Workbook here

Leave a review on Podchaser here

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/balancedsoulawakening

Ariana:

In this episode, we're talking about something big, something that might be quietly driving the bus in your life without you even realizing it, and that is the lies you've been living as truth. We're discussing the subconscious mind and covering how to overcome the limiting beliefs that were programmed into you from a young age, how growth occurs when you step outside of your comfort zone, and the difference in energy between could versus should. By the way, if you can't wait to hear more from this podcast, hit the follow button. Or if you want to get the Stop Playing Small: Rebuild Your Confidence and Understand Your Worth workbook, click the link in the episode description. This workbook is designed with a clear purpose and that is to guide you towards a more joyous and fulfilling life. It covers three transformational techniques to unlock your confidence and recover your inner essence so that your wounded child no longer runs the show. You are not too much. You are not too sensitive. You are not too late. Welcome to Reclaiming Me, the podcast for the woman who's ready to stop shrinking and start coming home to herself. Whether you're driving home from another long shift, walking your dog under a quiet sky, or trying to outrun the voice that says you're not enough, this space is for you. I'm your host, Ariana Reinhart, speaker, coach, and your guide on this journey of undoing the noise, shedding the pressure, and rising into who you were always meant to be. This show explores what it really means to heal from toxic patterns, rebuild your confidence, and reclaim the love and life you actually deserve. Here we talk self-worth, healing, boundaries, power, and the sacred process of becoming. Because you were never meant to fit in. You're on the journey back to who you were before the world told you who to be. This is your invitation. Let's begin. How do we end up having so much self-doubt? Most of us don't enjoy believing that we can't do something or that we're not worthy of something, right? So why are those the thoughts that our mind instinctively gravitates towards? Well, part of the reason is our ego. Our ego's job is to keep us safe, and it doesn't like anything new. It doesn't like the unknown, so it prefers us to stay in our small little bubble that's familiar to us because it believes that we're safe there. Our ego can only rely on past experiences of what it's done to stay alive. So it believes that it's dangerous to grow and to change, and it'll often try to prevent us from losing the weight or putting ourselves out there for the world to see in some way. This is where we have to take over and welcome ego to be there to ride in the passenger seat and watch out for danger, but we are letting our soul come in to drive the bus. And the other reason why we don't believe in ourselves is the programming that we grew up with. We are the most vulnerable from the ages of zero to seven because that's when our brains function in a theta state. Theta is very similar to the state of hypnosis, so we are highly programmable at those ages. Most of the programs that we learn are from our parents and our loved ones, or the people that we are around on a regular basis. They shape who we are and they run subconsciously. Our subconscious stores memories, habits, feelings, and beliefs that our conscious mind isn't even aware of. It is an amazing tool that remembers and takes in far more than we realize, and it encompasses about 95% of our brain. However, some of what is stored in our subconscious mind no longer serves us, or maybe it never did. So we need to bring it into our consciousness so that we can release it. These often show up as our fears, anxiety, and limiting beliefs. They're like invisible chains, and they're the quiet little rules that we've been carrying around for years. They're also what hold us back from being able to reach our full potential in life. These thoughts and beliefs may show up as, I'm not smart enough. I don't deserve more than this. Good things don't last for me, or I'm unlovable. Most of'them didn't even start with us. As I said, they were planted in childhood by what we saw, what we heard or experienced. Maybe it was a parent who never took risks. A teacher who embarrassed you, a partner who made you question your worth. Here's the problem. Because they're stored in our implicit or core memories, we end up believing them as our absolute truth. They may not be the actual truth, but they're your brain's truth. And your brain will do everything in its power to prove them right. That's the harm. They filter everything you do, keeping you stuck in those same patterns. Self-sabotage takes place when your subconscious mind and your conscious mind are not in alignment. And sometimes recognizing these patterns is difficult because we don't always consciously know what they are or how they show up. However, the good news is that your subconscious is trainable and it loves patterns. If you feed it empowering thoughts long enough, especially if you can invoke feelings into those thoughts, then they will start to replace the limiting ones. Our unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real and imagined, so when we complain about an incident over and over, it feels like it's actually happening to us again. That's why we can continue to get completely worked up over an issue that has already occurred, and this is also why it's important to reframe our thoughts into positive ones. When you repeat something three times, it starts to build a new neural pathway. And the more you repeat it, the deeper that neural pathway becomes and the more you believe it. But we can't just think the thoughts we have to follow through with the behaviors so that our unconscious mind doesn't get confused and start to wonder whether or not you actually want that outcome. So how exactly do we change these programs? It all starts with self-awareness. Pay attention to, and look for patterns that you do and things that other people do that trigger you. Allow any feelings that come up such as anxiety, anger, frustration, and hold space for them. But also notice that those triggers are like a mirror, and it's important to stay curious about them. Ask yourself, why do I feel or react this way when someone does this to me? What is it about that comment that made me feel triggered in the moment? Write it down if you can, because these observations can lead to huge breakthroughs for you. Then you're going to identify the limiting belief or fear that's holding you back. Write this belief down. You may think it's true, but deep down you know it's holding you back. This is one of your cues to know whether or not it's a limiting belief. Another way to do this is to find areas of your life where you're struggling or you're feeling stuck. A prompt you can use to help yourself uncover these is, what is one belief about yourself, others, or the world that makes you feel small, limited, or unworthy. Where do you think it came from? Family, school, culture, past experiences? Next, I want you to question the validity of this belief and recognize the harm that this belief has caused so that you can release it. Prove to yourself that this belief is not actually valid. Question it, and then write down the opposite of it. You may ask yourself, how has this belief influenced my choices, opportunities, relationships, or self-image? What has it cost me emotionally, mentally, or even financially? If you don't believe you that you deserve to be successful, write down everything you've done in your life where you've overcome obstacles and ended up completing it successfully. Or write down why you do deserve to be successful. The third step is to rewrite the limiting beliefs. The goal here is to create a new belief that empowers you and reflects your worth. In psychology this is called cognitive restructuring. Take the negative thought that you questioned and replace it with something that feels empowering to you. Turn these into affirmations that you can repeat to yourself on a regular basis to plant new seeds and neural pathways. Take it a step further, this is the final step, by visualizing this new reality for yourself. Allow yourself to meditate on what you want, or just visualize, imagine. How do you want to feel? How do you want to act? What do your days look like? How do you talk to yourself? The greater you can go into detail, the more specific you can be, the better. Imagine yourself successfully achieving your goal. If you don't think you deserve to be in or that you're worthy of being in a healthy relationship, imagine what it would look like to find your soulmate. How would it feel to find the person you're happy to spend the rest of your life with? To get married and have children if that's your intention. To have someone who loves you and cares for you in the way that you want to be loved, and to be able to love and care for them with no reservations. Feel into the energy of this new version of you, this future self. Embrace who she is, and then start to live that way with those thoughts and that energy in your current life. Obviously, don't live outside your means, but the key is to believe that these outcomes are already occurring and act accordingly, because the universe will then start to bring those things into your life. Trust that this life is possible for you. Trust that the universe will bring you the resources you need. Take the actions you need to take to become this future version of yourself. That might mean waking up earlier, going to bed earlier, working out, eating healthier, speaking kindly to yourself, or finding time to do things you enjoy. Repetition is important during this step. You can't, it's not just a one and done. You can't do it once and expect your whole life to change. Repeat your affirmations daily to make them stick and visualize what you want on a regular basis and act accordingly. Eventually, your outer world will start to match your inner world because you begin to align your subconscious mind with your conscious desires. Now I am just gonna take a second to remind you to go download my free Stop Playing Small: Build Your Confidence and Understand Your Worth Workbook. And if you love this podcast, if it speaks to you, then please leave a review on Podchaser. You can find both of those links in the show notes. I also wanna point out that we will take time to cover your questions in these episodes. So please reach out if you have any burning questions or if there's anything that you would love for me to discuss on this podcast. I would genuinely love to hear from you. Okay. Let's talk about perfectionism. Perfectionism isn't about high standards. It's about fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of failure, fear of being judged. The perfectionist brain says, if I just get it right, then I'll be safe or loved or accepted, but it's a trap because perfect doesn't exist. Perfectionism, keeps you frozen in planning mode, in learning mode analysis paralysis. Does anyone else experience this? I know I do. Sometimes it convinces you to endlessly redo things instead of sharing them with the world because it needs to be topnotch. But it's a form of self-sabotage. Don't let perfectionism get in the way of good. You're not going to be great at something until you practice, and you will get much further with consistency than you will with waiting until it feels like you've done it perfectly. It is keeping you from tapping into your full potential. Overcoming it starts with permission. The permission to be imperfect, to be messy, to try things and learn as you go. Progress beats perfection. I love how Ruth Soukup has her motto of Fail forward. Perfectionism is something that I struggle with on a deep level, and it's also something that I'm working towards overcoming. I was scared shitless to start this podcast. Imposter Syndrome was making herself well known when I decided to embark on this journey. Quite frankly, she's still there. I mean, it was difficult for me to even let my mom or my partner listen to an episode, but she's a little quieter now. The thing is, I moved forward anyway. I moved forward even through that fear. I know that I can improve. I'm so damn proud of myself for just getting started. I'm proud of myself for putting myself out there and I choose to celebrate it, even though I know it's not perfect. And it feels so good. A lot of the times we feel stuck and we hold ourselves back, but it's actually the process of just starting the thing that gets the momentum going and gains our confidence and helps us to understand that we can actually do this. So we get out of that feeling of being stuck. And if I can help even one person by sharing my stories and what I've learned, then it is all worth it. Because that's what I'm here for. I want you to have the confidence to go out and try new things, to go after your dreams and desires, to finally walk out of that relationship that you know isn't right for you, to understand that you can overcome the obstacles that feel like mountains right now. I want you to believe in yourself, and sometimes we just need a little nudge from someone else to give us the courage to do the thing. I'm going to share a little story with you here. I had decided that I wanted to try aerial sling a couple years back. I was a little nervous to do such a thing on my own, but I thought it would be really cool to learn. So I took beginner sling and I absolutely loved it. It taught me to trust myself. It gave me confidence, it kept me fit. I made friends, and it was a blast. And then I had to move. And when I moved back to Saskatoon and decided to start up again, I ended up going straight into level one. Which is a hell of a lot tougher than beginner, let me tell you. And it had been 18 months since I'd done aerial. And aerial is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done, if I'm being honest. It is a full body workout. It can be really painful when you first learn new moves, you walk out with a million bruises. When I went back, after the first two classes, I told my coach that I didn't think I could do that level and that maybe I should drop back down to beginner. It didn't help that everyone else had been doing both sling and silks for a long time, so I was like bottom of the barrel. I felt like everyone else was a million times better than me and I just didn't belong. It was hard not to let it affect my confidence and my drive. For the first little while as I was gaining my strength back it almost wasn't even fun for me to go because it was so hard and exhausting. But my coach believed in me. She told me that if I really wanted, I could drop back down to beginner, but that I would be redoing moves that I'd already learned and that she could see it in me that I would be able to be successful at level one. So I decided to stick it out, even though I seriously questioned her at times. Fast forward to like not even two months later, and suddenly she's asking us if we want to perform in an aerial showcase that the studio is putting on. I told her that I wasn't sure if I was gonna be physically strong enough or good enough to perform. I didn't think I would be able to learn the tricks for our number in time. And I was scared shitless, like, I'm not kidding. I was honestly worried that I was gonna shit my pants on stage for my nerves. Not to mention, I could also see that I was way behind all the others in my class when it came to skill. But again, she believed in me, so she pushed me and in turn I pushed myself to do something that I didn't think I could. Sometimes you just have to muster up that courage to push yourself outta your comfort zone and do the damn thing. I started going to open gym on top of our weekly classes, and at the beginning I felt like I was failing miserably. We were about four weeks out and I was still struggling with the first move, and then suddenly something clicked and I progressively got better and better. And when the time came to perform, I fricking nailed it. I had a blast, and I was so grateful for the experience. I had tears in my eyes when I thanked my coach. In fact, it still makes me a little emotional sometimes because it meant so much to me that she believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. And that's my intention in creating this podcast. Maybe you need a little nudge. Maybe you need a loving kick in the ass. Maybe you just need someone to remind you that you are worthy or that you can be successful, and I am here to help. But then you need to trust yourself. We often let our minds run and envision the worst case scenario, talking ourselves outta something before we've even tried it. But I promise you that you are so much stronger than you allow yourself to believe. You can do the things you're terrified to do. You can push yourself past those mental limits. We don't grow if we're not willing to try the things that make us uncomfortable. If it equally scares and excites you, then chances are that it's meant for you and it was placed in your path for a reason. So my challenge for you today is to do something you've been putting off because you've been letting your fears take over. I've come to realize that a lot of the things I'm most scared of have actually been the most fun and rewarding. Like ziplining, for example, the first time I did it, I was so scared to do it and I watched people going upside down and I was like, there's no way in hell I'm ever doing that. And then the next two times I did it, I was hanging upside down and having a fricking blast. Maybe you'll find that too. Lastly, I want you to stop"shoulding" on yourself. This is something that we all do way too often without even thinking about it. Should is heavy. It weighs us down and shrinks us because it's often rooted in guilt, obligation, and someone else's expectations. We end up wanting to reject it. This might look like I should lose weight or I should be further along by now. It can even be something as simple as, I should brush my teeth, or I should do the dishes. When you live in should, you're living in pressure, it's like a form of self punishment that's disguised as motivation. Release the need to do things because you think you should. When you live and should, you are living in pressure. It's like a form of self punishment that's disguised as motivation. Release, the need to do things because you think you should. Sometimes we still have to do the things that we don't particularly want to do and like I'm talking about our responsibilities, but can we shift that perspective from I should do the dishes to something that feels lighter and has opportunity. I get to brush my teeth so I have fresh breath and healthy teeth. Changing it to could or I get to is expansive. I could try a new workout that I'd enjoy or I could take the next step towards my dream. Can you feel the difference here? Should drains you. Could invites you. Switching just that one word changes your energy and can open your mind to new possibilities. Sometimes it's nice to ask someone that you're around frequently to pay attention to this for you because most of the time we don't even realize that we're"shoulding" on ourselves. It is also important to listen to your intuition in some of these situations. If you come across something that you feel like you should be doing, but your intuition is telling you not to do the thing, then there's probably a reason why. A little exercise that you can do is to tune into your body and ask it, do I have to, or do I get to? Is there something in my life right now that's feeling heavy, that I'm feeling obligated to do, but I might not actually have to? And then see if you either can not do the thing, or if you can at least shift your perspective around it.

A lot of the times we don't really pay attention to or notice the things that we're saying or that we're telling ourselves and the energy that we're going into things with, but it actually makes a big difference on a subconscious level. So I highly recommend trying to pay attention to energy you have around these tasks that you don't enjoy, or just the way that you talk to yourself and trying to be quite cognizant of changing it. Okay, lovely, it is now time for our reclaim this affirmation of the day. We actually have two for today, so repeat after me and write them down if they resonate with you, so that you have them on hand to recite daily. Some people like to write affirmations on post-it notes and stick them in high traffic areas around the house so that they're consistently reminded to speak kindly to themselves. Our first reclaim this affirmation for today is I am ready to remember who I am and I am ready to co-create the life I desire. I am ready to remember who I am and I am ready to co-create the life I desire. And the second one is I don't owe the world a version of me that abandons who I truly am. I don't owe the world a version of me that abandons who I truly am. And as always, we will close off with our self-worth shift to reflect on what's one truth. I'm saying that in quotations that you've been living that isn't actually true, and what's the new truth that you want to replace it with? Thank you for joining me on this journey of returning to yourself. If today's episode spoke to your soul, I'd love for you to share with a friend, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a moment of this reclamation or share your thoughts with me on Instagram at Balanced Soul Awakening. You are not too much. You are not behind, and you are not broken. You are worthy. You are whole, and you are already everything you're seeking. This is Reclaiming Me. Until next time, be gentle, be bold, be you.