Reclaiming Me Podcast

No More Neglect: How To Cultivate The Love You Deserve

• Ariana • Episode 7

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In this episode, Ariana encourages listeners to stop putting themselves last and to step into self-worth, care, and compassion. She covers what self-love really means, beyond clichés and "spiritual bypassing." Ariana discusses embracing all parts of yourself, including your shadow side, and learning from your emotions. 

You will learn how to recognize emotional triggers, process feelings, and break free from old patterns. Ariana shares personal stories about finding her voice, setting boundaries, and the empowerment that comes from honoring your needs, while also exploring the consequences of putting others first and neglecting self-care. 

There are practical tools for shifting your mindset, celebrating small wins, building momentum, and healing your relationship with money. 

This episode covers why support systems matter, how to build a positive community, and the impact of the people you surround yourself with. Ariana addresses negative self-talk, comparison, and perfectionism, as well as offers strategies for reframing thoughts and practicing self-compassion. 

Key Topics Covered:

  • The true meaning of self-love
  • Emotional awareness and healing
  • Setting boundaries and speaking your truth
  • Building confidence and celebrating wins
  • Gratitude and abundance mindset
  • Healing your relationship with money
  • Meditation and journaling practices
  • The importance of community and support
  • Overcoming negative self-talk, comparison, and perfectionism
  • Daily self-love rituals and affirmations

Episode Takeaway:
You are worthy of love, joy, and fulfillment. Self-love is a daily practice, and every small step counts on your journey to reclaiming yourself.

Get your free Unshakeable Confidence: Rediscover Your True Self Workbook here

Leave a review on Podchaser here

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/balancedsoulawakening

Hello, beautiful soul and welcome back to Reclaiming Me. I am so grateful that you're joining me for episode number six on cultivating the love you deserve. I hope you've been enjoying and finding value in this podcast. Please reach out to me with any questions that you have or any related topics that you would like for me to cover. I am here for you, so I want these episodes to speak to what you need and what you're ready for so that you can embody the future version of you now. Today we're diving deep into practical ways to nurture self-love, celebrate your wins, and build a life filled with gratitude, presence, and support. Enough with putting yourself last. This episode is your invitation to step into self-worth, and finally give yourself the love, care, and compassion you've been denying. Get ready to rebuild your relationship with yourself, strengthen your confidence, transform your relationship with money, and begin a self-love journey that lasts. So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let's get started. By the way, if you can't wait to hear more from this podcast, hit the Follow button. Or if you wanna get the stop playing small, rebuild your confidence and understand your worth workbook, click the link in the episode description. This workbook is designed with a clear purpose and that is to guide you towards a more joyous and fulfilling life. It covers three transformational techniques to build unshakable confidence and reclaim your inner essence so that your wounded inner child no longer runs the show. It's an incredibly powerful tool to support you in your healing journey where you no longer feel the need to settle in life and love. You are not too much. You are not too sensitive. You are not too late. Welcome to Reclaiming Me, the podcast for the woman who's ready to stop shrinking and start coming home to herself. Whether you're driving home from another long shift, walking your dog under a quiet sky, or trying to outrun the voice that says You're not enough, this space is for you. I'm your host, Ariana Reinhart, speaker, coach, and your guide on this journey of undoing the noise, shedding the pressure and rising into who you are always meant to be. This show explores what it really means to heal from toxic patterns, rebuild your confidence and reclaim the love and life you actually deserve. Here we talk self-worth, healing, boundaries, power, and the sacred process of becoming. Because you were never meant to fit in. You're on the journey back to who you were before the world told you who to be. This is your invitation. Let's begin. Understanding self-love. So a lot of coaches and gurus tend to lead us to believe in what's called spiritual bypassing. And this is the thought that spirituality, healing, and self-love is all like sunshine, rainbows, and good vibes. But if we're being completely honest with ourselves, we understand that healing is so much more than that. So let's start by unpacking what self-love really entails. It isn't just about bubble baths and treating yourself, although those are absolutely a lovely part of it. It isn't about being happy all the time and nothing ever going wrong. It's about respecting yourself, honoring your needs, and being gentle with yourself, especially when things get tough. It's about recognizing your worth, even when you make mistakes or fall short of your own expectations. And it's also about working with your shadow side. You can't have the light without the dark, but you can learn to embrace, love and honor that side of you. Those feelings that you have are coming up for a reason and they are here to teach you something. Sit with them, hold space for them, and this will allow you to move through them so that you can let them go. It's important to have awareness around the lessons that those emotions are trying to teach you. When you can question and learn why you have certain triggers so that you can work through them, they begin to lessen their grasp on you, and they no longer hold all that power. The time of stuffing down our feelings and emotions, of pretending we're okay when we're not, is over. You no longer have to power through and build up your walls until you explode. Things are going to come up. People and circumstances are going to trigger you. It happens to everyone. But sitting there ruminating on them and allowing them to consume you, to slowly let them poison your thoughts and your joy, that's on you. You have the power to change it. So you have no one to blame but yourself if you don't take the action to do so. Self-love is about being true to yourself and speaking your truth, even when it's hard. In the past, it may not have been safe to speak up, but you can create that safe space for yourself. This can be a hard lesson to learn. I know that I have had many moments in my past where using my voice ended with me being hurt, whether that be physically and mentally or emotionally. But over time I worked on myself and I left those situations and those people so that I can be in an environment where I can grow and flourish. And it has been absolutely life changing. Holding true to my boundaries is no longer scary. It's actually empowering. There are still people who don't like when I set these boundaries, but that's on them. It's not my responsibility to coddle them and to feel bad, and I know that now. And it is so damn freeing when you can finally embrace that. So many of us have been taught to put others first, to hustle, to be productive at all costs. But when we neglect our own means, we end up feeling depleted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves. Self love is the foundation for everything else in our lives; our relationships, our work, our health, and our happiness. Life keeps showing you those same problems because it's like a mirror reflecting your awareness. What you focus on and what you believe is reflected back to you. So if you're always expecting the worst, then the universe is going to give you the worst to confirm it. Your reticular activating system is gonna look for all the things that help prove that nothing works out for you. But if you finally decide that you're meant for more, that something better is out there waiting for you, then something better will start to appear. Your awareness shifts and you teach your brain to look for those positive circumstances that support your new belief system. The world is showing you what you project. Change in your outer world starts by creating change within yourself. And if you've been neglecting your self love, you're not alone and it's never too late to start. So how can you start to make these changes? What are some tools to improve your life so that you can begin to invite in abundance? Well, it starts off with something simple but powerful, and that is celebrating your accomplishments no matter how small they may be. Way too often we brush off our little wins, or we finally accomplish our big goal, but we don't take the time to celebrate it. It doesn't feel the way we think it's gonna feel, so we move on to the next big goal, hoping that it will give us that feeling that we're looking for. I want you to be real with yourself here. How often do you pause to acknowledge what you've achieved? For many of us, the answer is not often enough. We're so focused on what's next, on what we haven't done yet, that we actually forget to honor how far we've come. If you take a look at where you were at last year and then look at where you're at this year, I can almost guarantee that you've come a long way and you're quite possibly in a place now that you never in a million years last year thought you would be. Or thought that you'd be able to achieve. It starts with little baby steps and it's these small actions every day that you form habits and those build momentum, and that's what changes your life. And when you start to celebrate these little moments and these little wins, it actually feels really damn good. And it's a powerful act of self-love. It tells your brain, Hey, I'm proud of you. You're doing great. You don't need to accomplish something big to feel proud. Every step forward is worth celebrating. This could be something as simple as making your bed, finishing a project at work, cooking a healthy meal, when you really just wanna binge on that junk food, or even just getting out of bed on a tough day. Even that act of just getting outta bed can feel like a huge mountain that you have to tackle some days. So celebrate yourself when you actually do it. I want to encourage you to start a celebration or accomplishment journal. And every evening, write down one thing that you accomplished that day. Over time, you're gonna build a beautiful record of your progress. And don't be afraid to celebrate in fun ways. Do a little happy dance. That's one of my favorite things to do. Treat yourself to your favorite snack or share your win with a loved one. Maybe grab yourself your favorite coffee. When you celebrate yourself, you reinforce the belief that you are worthy of love and recognition. Gratitude is one of the highest frequencies that you can be in. It's not the absolute highest, but it's definitely up there. And when we express gratitude, we shift our focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in our lives. And here's the magic. The more you focus on gratitude, the more you're gonna find to be grateful for. Let's talk about a practical example, and that's paying your bills. Think about the last time you paid your bills. Did you dread it? I know most people do. Most of you are probably like, Ariana, like, how? How do you expect me to be grateful for this? But what if instead you turned it into a moment of gratitude? Hear me out. What if you did a little happy dance and thanked money for allowing you to pay those bills? Not everyone has that privilege. And shifting your mindset to gratitude can change everything. It can transform a mundane task into a loving celebration. The fact that you have that money to be able to pay those bills is something to celebrate. It is something to be so grateful for, especially in this day and age, there are so many people who are struggling to even get by. Some people are working multiple jobs to just be able to pay those bills. So if you can do that, and if you can do it with ease, if you have a roof over your head, if you have food on your plate, if you have a vehicle that gets you from A to B, then that is something to be grateful for. I started writing letters to money. I was thanking it for supporting me, celebrating my small successes, and being grateful for what I had. And you know what? Money started coming to me in unexpected and amazing ways. I will never forget the time that I was at a hair salon in the middle of a mall in Calgary, and I was literally like just about to pay for a cut and color when a group of women like literally ran in and asked if they could pay for my entire bill. This was hundreds of dollars you guys, and they paid for every frigging cent of it. Out of everyone in that mall, they chose me. I was absolutely stunned and so incredibly grateful. Like what are the chances that these ladies would pick me out of all the people? But that was the universe rewarding me for doing this work and developing this relationship with money. And this wasn't a one time thing either. I began having things like this happen left, right, and center. I was receiving money, I was getting money back. Things were going on sale that I didn't know we were on sale. Like it was happening all the time, and it was so incredible. I was so grateful for it. The universe really does work in mysterious ways when you're open to celebrating and appreciating what you have. So let's do a quick gratitude exercise together. Close your eyes if you're able. Take a deep breath in and out. And think of three things that you're grateful for right now. If they can be big or small, it can be your morning coffee, a supportive friend, the roof over your head. Say them out loud or write them down, and then notice how your energy shifts when you focus on gratitude. My coach has us do this exercise, which is actually kind of fun. And at first it sounds like a lot, but trust me, the time flies by. I actually ended up doubling my time the first time I did it. And you set a timer for however long you want. I think I did like four minutes, which ended up turning into eight minutes. And you just either say out loud or write down all the things that you're grateful for. Just thing after thing, after thing after thing. I think she calls it like a gratitude rampage. So it, it puts you in this mindset of abundance and gratitude and high frequency, and afterwards it feels so amazing and you feel so good and so light. It helps you to understand that like, Hey, I really do have a lot to be grateful for. Okay. Let's dig a little deeper into our relationship with money, because this is an area where self-love often gets neglected. Many of us carry shame, guilt, or anxiety around money. We might feel like we never have enough or that we're not good with money. But what if you approach money from a place of love and gratitude? Try writing a letter to money, expressing gratitude for all the ways that it supports you. Thank it for the fun adventures it allows you to go on and the surprises that it brings you. Or maybe you have a bone to pick with money and there's something that you need to work out. That's okay. You can write that in the letter as well. Whatever it is, speak from your heart and go in with the intention of bettering your relationship with money. Celebrate every financial win, no matter how small. In the book, Get Rich, Lucky Bitch, the author recommends keeping track of every cent that you receive. This allows you to truly understand how much money is flowing in because a lot of us are receiving money in areas that we actually don't even realize. The simple shift of celebrating every financial win can open you up to new opportunities and abundance. Remember that money is just energy and paying for or receiving money is an energy exchange. When you treat it with respect and gratitude, it tends to flow more freely. Money likes to flow. She doesn't like to be stagnant. She likes to come and go. I highly recommend writing letters to money and starting to embrace her as your best friend. We're gonna go deeper into this topic in another episode, kind of in two episodes coming up here, so stay tuned for that if this is a topic that interests you. And these steps might feel silly at first, but they're so worth it. A lot of people also like to go on dates with their money. Even if it feels silly, just I encourage you to give it a try and kind of stick with it for a little bit and see if it changes your life, if it does anything to change your mindset around money. Now let's talk about meditation. Meditation has completely changed my life. When we meditate, we give our bodies and our minds a chance to relax and reset. In this state of relaxation, we have better access to our prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brain that helps us to think clearly, to plan better, and to respond from a place of reason. It allows us to process and bring awareness to our emotions. Meditation has physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits. A regular meditation practice can decrease your heart rate. Decrease blood pressure, regulate digestion, increase your immune system, increase metabolism. It can give you greater clarity. It helps with memory retention, gives you a greater sense of peace. Creates brain coherence, reduces stress and anxiety, increases self-awareness, improve sleep, and helps you tune into your intuition. Through meditation, I learned to respond rather than to react. I started to see things from other perspectives and to look at my triggers and ask, why is this bothering me? What can I learn from this? After meditating, I instantly feel lighter and more at peace, which helps me to remain in a positive mindset throughout the day. Meditation also helps you to become comfortable with being alone and with your own presence. It is so important to learn to sit in silence and work through your emotions. And if you're new to meditation, start with just five minutes a day. You can focus on your breath, you can recite a mantra or find a guided meditation that you like. And remember, don't be too hard on yourself. The first step is trying. You're probably not gonna feel like moments of bliss right away, but you're doing just fine. And the more you stick with it, the better it's gonna get. Trust me, it can feel so amazing and so blissful. Let's do a very short meditation together. I want you to sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and exhale like you're blowing out a candle, nice and slow. Notice any tension in your body and just let it go. And now I want you to bring your attention to your heart and repeat to yourself, I am worthy of love. I am enough. Stay here for a few breaths, soaking in that feeling. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes. How do you feel? Even a few moments of mindfulness can make a big difference. Okay. I'm just gonna take a second to remind you to go download my free, stop playing small, build your Confidence and understand Your Worth Workbook, and remember to leave a review on Pod Chaser. You can find both of those links in the show notes. Or follow me on Instagram at Balanced Soul Awakening. And again, I wanna point out that we are gonna take time to cover your questions in these episodes. So please reach out if you have any burning questions or if there's anything that you would love for me to discuss on this podcast. I would genuinely love to hear from you. Another powerful tool for cultivating self-love is journaling. Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to process emotions and gain deeper insights into your journey. It's a space where you can be honest and gentle with yourself, where you can celebrate your victories and learn from your challenges. If you have a journal or a notebook nearby, grab it now. I'm going to share some reflection questions in a few minutes, but first, let's talk about why journaling is so effective. When you write, you slow down your thoughts and give yourself space to reflect. You can track your progress, notice patterns, and set intentions for the future. Journaling is also a great way to practice self-compassion. They say that there's a reason why it's called spelling. You're casting spells onto the page. It's a profound way to set the intention of what you're ready to invite into your life. If you're struggling, when you're journaling, write yourself a letter as if you are comforting a friend. Remind yourself that it's okay to have bad days and that you're doing your best. All right. Let's take a few minutes for some self-reflection. So here are some questions to journal about. What is one small accomplishment from today or this week that I can celebrate? When was the last time I felt truly grateful? What was I grateful for? How do I react to challenges or triggers? What can I learn from these moments? Who are the five people I spend the most time with and how do they influence my self love journey? And what is one thing I can do this week to show myself more love? Take your time with these and pause the episode if you need to, and then come back when you're ready. Now, we can't forget about the importance of community. Even though at times it may feel like this is a journey that you're taking by yourself and that you're alone on it, that's really not true. We as humans are built to thrive on support and community. So while it may be tempting to hermit and to shut yourself out from the world, I highly encourage you to lean on your friends and family for support and be there for them In return. Go out and do fun things together. Even go for a walk or a coffee. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you, who celebrate your successes, who hold you accountable, and who stand by you in tough times. Remember, you are a product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you're the smartest, most compassionate, most energetic, or most in shape person in the room, then you might be in the wrong room. Seek out those who inspire you to grow and who reflect the love and positivity that you want in your life. Building a supportive community doesn't mean that you have to cut people out of your life, but it does mean being intentional about who you spend your time with. Look for friends, mentors, or groups that align with your values and encourage your growth. And don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it. You are not being a burden. If we all need a little help sometimes, and reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. Now let's talk about some common obstacles to self-love and how to overcome them. One big obstacle is negative self-talk. We all have that little voice in our heads that can be overly critical and judgmental, but you don't have to believe everything it says. It's important to recognize when negative self-talk is taking over and to develop strategies to combat it. One way to address this is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in need. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. When you notice negative thoughts, try to reframe them. Challenge your inner critic. Stop and ask yourself if there's any evidence to support these thoughts. Often our inner critic exaggerates situations or makes assumptions that are not based on reality. By questioning the validity of these thoughts, you can begin to refrain them in a more positive and realistic light. Instead of thinking, I'm not good enough or smart enough to do that. Try, I'm doing my best, and that is good enough. A little exercise that you can do is to pay attention to your thoughts and the stories that you tell yourself as you go about your day. What are the first thoughts that you have when you wake up in the morning? How do you spend the last five minutes before you go to sleep? When you first wake up in the morning, you are still somewhat accessing your subconscious at that point, because you're in a relaxed state. The first five minutes and the last five minutes, like before falling asleep, are the most important times of your day. When you're in this state of relaxation. Before or after sleep, you can plant messages into your subconscious. So instead of laying there thinking about all the things that you have to do for the day, or instantly going on social media or thinking about everything negative that happened to you, things that you're not looking forward to focus on what you do want, focus on what you enjoy or what went right that day. If you had a bad day question, did you actually have a bad day, or was it just a bad moment in your day? In the morning, tell yourself, I am healthy, I am worthy. I am going to have an amazing day today and I ask that Divine love flow through me. And then anytime you notice yourself slipping into negative dialogue throughout the day, redirect your thoughts, rewrite the script. It's important to catch yourself and change that negativity into positivity because the vibrational frequency that you're on and the thoughts that you think are what you're gonna invite into your life. The universe matches whatever frequency we are at. There's a reason why when someone has a bad day, everything continues to go wrong. But on the flip side, there's also a reason why you continue to have experiences that you are grateful for when you're having a wonderful day. Your thoughts and beliefs matter more than you know. So if you wanna change your life, you have to change your thoughts. Another obstacle is comparison. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others, especially on social media. But remember, you're only seeing the highlight reel. You're not seeing what goes on behind the scenes. You're not seeing the process, the difficult moments, what it took to get there. There's also the flip side where sometimes people who portray that they're incredibly happy and that they have the most incredible life, incredible relationship, on social media, they can actually be the people who are the most unhappy. And they're trying to paint this picture of perfection to make themselves feel better and to receive validation from others. Focus on your own journey and celebrate your unique strengths rather than putting yourself down because you feel like you're not as far along as someone else. And perfectionism is another big obstacle. I have said this previously. This is one that I am actively working on overcoming. And I love this quote: you'll never feel ready because ready isn't a feeling, it's a decision. That one can learn hard for a perfectionist, but it can also change your life. Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes. In fact, that's how we learn and grow. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to learn, adjust, and improve, and to love yourself through that process. So to recap, here are some daily self love practices that you can start today. Start your day with a positive affirmation. Take a few minutes to meditate or to breathe deeply. Write down three things you're grateful for. Move your body in a way that feels good to be you. Set healthy boundaries with your time and energy. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Celebrate your wins, both big and small. And reach out to someone who supports you. Remember that self-love is a practice. It's not a destination. It's something that you cultivate every day in small and meaningful ways. Okay, it is now time for our reclaim this affirmation of the day. Repeat after me and write it down if it resonates with you, so that you have it on hand to recite daily. Some people like to write affirmations on post-it notes and stick them in high traffic areas around the house so that they're consistently reminded to speak kindly to themselves. Our reclaim this affirmation of the day is I am a magnet to love and happiness, and I am thankful for everything I have. I am a magnet to love and happiness, and I am thankful for everything I have. I want you to claim this. Tell yourself. I am no longer waiting for the perfect moment. I choose to move forward quickly and easily. I no longer question my every move and wonder if I made the right decision. I allow myself to trust my intuition, my gut, and lean into momentum and growth. Density no longer lives in my body. I release it every day because it does not serve me. There is a fire inside of me that propels me in the right direction. I choose forgiveness. I choose growth. I choose love. I am energetically aligned with my purpose and my goals in life. I'm no longer playing small. I'm no longer settling. What is meant for me is on its way to me now, and I am so fricking excited for it. Universe show me how much fun this can be. And so it is. And as always, we will close off with our self-worth shift to reflect on. Today's self-worth shift is going to look a little bit different. Let's end with a short guided visualization. If you're able. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine a warm golden light in your heart space, filling you with love and compassion. See yourself smiling, feeling proud of who you are and how far you've come. Imagine this light growing brighter with every breath.. It radiates out into your energetic field and to everyone around you. Ask yourself what brings me joy that I haven't made time for? Know that you are worthy of love just as you are. Take a few more breaths and when you're ready, open your eyes. You deserve a life filled with joy and fulfillment, and it all begins with the love you show yourself. Thank you for joining me on this journey of returning to yourself. If today's episode spoke to your soul, I'd love for you to share it with a friend. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a moment of this reclamation. Or share your thoughts with me on Instagram at Balanced Soul Awakening. You are not too much. You are not behind. You are not broken. You are worthy. You are whole, and you are already everything you're seeking. This is Reclaiming Me. Until next time, be gentle. Be bold, be you.