30 Lessons by 30: The Sh*t NO ONE Warns You About (Part 1)

Your 20s will stretch you, break you and rebuild you, but no one really prepares you for that

In this raw and honest episode, I’m sharing the real lessons I’ve learned on my way to 30, the ones that didn’t come from books, but from lived experience, hard truths, and moments that have changed me forever

This isn’t the polished version of growth, this is the messy, uncomfortable, life-shifting reality of becoming, of pushing myself over and over to be better and become the woman I know I was put here to be

If you’ve ever felt lost, behind, or like you’re figuring it out the hard way, this episode is for you because I promise you, you are not alone

Follow along for Part 2 and come connect with me on Instagram @thecyclica for all things related to menstrual cycle wisdom, mindset and magick✨

Transcript

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As you may or may not know, I have just turned 30. So I thought, what better way to start off my 30s than a podcast episode all about the 30 lessons I have learned by age 30? These are lessons that I wish somebody had have sat me down and talked me through when I was 20, 15, 25. These are such crucial lessons that we just forget. Things that we just go through life and we forget to check in with ourselves, we forget to ask ourselves what we truly want, and we forget to reflect on the experiences that form us, the experiences that mould us into the person that we are becoming and the person that we are. Hello and welcome to the Good Gar Rebellion Podcast. I'm your host, Izzy, and I'm so grateful to have you here for another episode. The Good Gar Rebellion is all about reclaiming your rhythm in mind, body, and spirit, and each week we're unraveling years of conditioning to reclaim our wild, rebellious, and intuitive truth. It is my mission to help women break free from society's expectations, help them reconnect with their feminine power and live in alignment with the ebb and flow of their cyclical nature. So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wilder self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you're in the right place. Welcome to the rebellion. Okay, so welcome to 30 lessons I wish I learned at age 20. But 30 lessons that I learned at age 30. So to start things off, number one is shine your fucking light. I've got my journal here because I spent a few hours on my birthday writing all of these down, and I know that if I don't have my journal, I'll forget them. So number one, as I said, shine your fucking light. This is something that I think in our 20s we so often forget. It's something that we are just so caught up in what people think of us, whether we are cool or attractive, or like if we're dressed well, or if we're in shape. We're just as women, especially, we're so conditioned to think about what does everybody else think about me? But what do I think about myself? Do I like who I am? Do I like who I'm embodying? That's the number one thing that I think I've learned in my 20s is shine your fucking light and shine your light for you. No one else, just you. Because you're the person living this life for. You're living it for you, you're not living it for anybody else. So shine your fucking light. It's like I've written here. It really is true what they say. No one is watching, and no one truly cares because everybody is so caught up in themselves, nobody actually cares what you're doing. And if they do, then their opinion is not relevant to you because happy people don't hate, and hating people aren't happy. So you do, you boo. You shine your light, you be your authentic self, you stand proud in who you are, and you own your power, own how you're put on this earth to shine because that is your greatest gift. There is no one like you, so own it and shine. Number two is respect yourself enough and have the belief in yourself to know that you can handle any situation so that you walk away at the first sign of disrespect. This is something that is so powerful because you have to know your worth. You have to know that the people who truly care about you aren't gonna treat you like shit. Point blank. The people who care about you aren't gonna treat you like shit. There's no fluffing it up, there's no beating around the bush. The people who care about you aren't gonna disrespect you. So if this person, relationship, friendship, work colleague, if they're disrespecting you, have the belief in yourself to know that you can come back from anything, you can hold yourself in any situation, you can hold your ground, you can hold your own, you can always figure it out and leave. Just leave. Like you're not life is too short to be disrespected in any way, shape, or form. Number three is everything is resolvable. So this was something that I would say got me through travelling because understanding that yes, okay, it might cost time and it might cost money and it might not work out how you wanted it to work out, but everything is resolvable, everything can be sorted out. There is no point allowing your mind to run away in the moment and allowing yourself to be so swept up in panic that you forget how to think, you forget how to act with intention and through your intuition because everything is resolvable, doesn't matter what happens, you will always figure it out. Like that, as I said, is something that got me through traveling because so much goes wrong, so much goes wrong, and spending months solo traveling and traveling with other people, there are things that are gonna happen that are out of your control, and like even not traveling in your everyday life, there are gonna be things that are gonna happen that are gonna be out of your control, but you have to understand that everything is resolvable, every single situation is resolvable, so don't panic, remain calm, and allow the situation allow the resolution to come to you. Because if you look back at your life, has there been any situation that you haven't been able to get yourself out of? No, because in the moment you will always find a resolution, you will always find the way through, you will always be able to figure it out. So do not panic because everything is resolvable. Number four is nothing good comes from your comfort zone. I mean, this isn't a lesson that kind of I figured out, this is a general lesson, but nothing good comes from your comfort zone because you can't grow in your comfort zone, you can't evolve, you can't develop into the person you are supposed to be. Because if you allow yourself to remain comfortable, you're never gonna know your full potential, you're never gonna know what you're capable of because it's always gonna be comfortable and easy and soft, and we grow through evolution. The whole point of this human experience is evolution, is to evolve, it's to grow, it's to develop, it's to become who we were put here to be. So if you allow yourself to remain in your comfort zone, you're never gonna discover who it is you can be. Like I could have so easily stayed in my comfort zone and stayed in my corporate job, stayed in a relationship I didn't know was I didn't think was right for me. It was comfortable, it was easy, it was it would have brought me happiness, but it wouldn't have bought me true happiness. It wouldn't have been what I was put on this earth to do, it wouldn't have allowed me to become the woman I was put on this earth to be. So allow yourself to ask yourself the hard questions. Are you living in your comfort zone because it's easy and it's comfortable and it's known? Or are you pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and are you actually becoming the person you were put here to be? Because your brain will always choose the known discomfort over unknown comfort. Yes, your brain will always choose the easy option, even though in the long run it knows it's bad for you, over the uncomfortable situation that in the long run will do you good because your brain will always go to safety, always safety. Because if you think when we were cavemen, unknown potentially meant death, so you had to stick to what was known because that was where you knew your safety was, that's where you knew you weren't gonna get killed by the saber-toothed tiger. Like, but we don't live like that anymore. We can push ourselves out of our comfort zone, we can push ourselves to become the version of ourselves we know we were put here to be, because nothing good comes from your comfort zone. Okay, number five, and nothing good comes from asking others what you should do. As nothing good comes from your comfort zone, nothing good comes when you ask others for advice. Because let's face it, unless they are living the exact path you want to take, they don't know what you want, they don't know you inside out like you do. Nobody knows you like you do. Nobody knows nobody knows what you truly want. So ask yourself Are you asking for permission? Are you asking for validation or are you asking for advice? Like there's very different when you have an idea and you talk it through with your girlfriends or your partner or your parents or your anyone. It's very different when you have an idea and you talk it through with people and they bounce ideas around with you, and then you kind of get more inspiration and then you take it further. There's another that's like that's different, but where I'm saying is don't ask people for validation, don't ask people for permission, don't ask people for advice, allowing them to give you the validation you need to make a decision because you don't need anybody else to confirm what you want to do. If you want to do something, you go and do it. You don't need anybody to confirm that it's the right decision for you. As long as you and your heart and your gut and your instinct and your intuition know that it's what you should do, fuck what anybody else thinks. Fuck them, just go and do it because the only person you're gonna disappoint in the long run is yourself. So nothing good comes from asking everybody else what you should do. Just follow your heart, your intuition, and fucking do it. Number six is never find. I can't read my own writing. Never find your number six is you will never find your tribe if you spend your life being somebody you are not. This hits home for me because this is something that I've really struggled with. I spent a lot of my late teens, early twenties in the wrong friendship groups. I was and still really, it's something that I'm working through now. I'm still afraid of my full potential, I'm still afraid of my full power, and I'm afraid of what my authenticity will cause. The knock-on effect, the ripple effect it could have on the rest of my life. Because I've always lived in a protective bubble of myself, and I think that is very normal for women. I mean, we have the witch wound and conditioning where we have to be palatable and a good girl, hence the good girl rebellion, because fuck being the palatable good girl, be the person you're put here to be. So, yeah, unless you step into your true self and unless you embody who you are, your true authenticity, and allow your weirdness and your vibrancy and your power, your unique power to shine. You're never gonna attract the people who are going to be attracted to that uniqueness because you're always gonna be somebody you're not. My mum said to me, an expression that I just can't get out of my mind, and it's you're swimming in the wrong pond, and that is how I feel, and that is how I have felt for a majority of my life until probably the last few years when I've been traveling and I've met new people and I've met different people who have a much similar view on life than I do, is I've always felt like I'm swimming in the wrong pond. I've always felt like I'm on the outside looking in, because those people who I love dearly but are very different from me. I don't feel like I could ever fully relate to them. So allow yourself to stand in your power, allow yourself to be your weird, crazy, wild, unique self because the people who are meant for you will find you, and that is how you find your true soul tribe. That is who you find, how you find who is actually truly meant for you, is being your most authentic self because there's no one like you, absolutely nobody like you. So, what a blessing to be able to embody that and find soulful connections and love and happiness and joy through that, and knowing that they are there for you as you are, you can show them all of your shadows, all of your darkness, all of your light, and know that they love you for who you are and they're not going anywhere. Number seven is never settle. Never settle. Your standards, hopes, dreams, and desires are not too much. What you wish for is out there wishing for you to. Never settle for okay, never settle for good enough, never settle for anything less than you know you deserve. That is something that I think is so powerful, especially in the West, is that we are just told that like you find good enough and then you settle down, and that's who you're gonna be with for the rest of your life, and that's the job you're gonna have for the rest of your life, and that's just life. It's okay, it's good enough, it'll do. No, it fucking won't. Don't settle, don't settle down for anything less than absolutely fucking magnificent because you only get one life, you only live here once, you only experience everything on this earth once. So, why settle for a relationship that's okay? Why settle for a job that's okay? Why settle for a place to live that's okay? You want fucking brilliance, you want magnificence, you want everything to just be the best it could be, because why not? The universe isn't on a budget, so why are you? Like, don't settle for anything less than what you know you deserve. Number eight, you do not have to make sense to anybody other than yourself. As long as you can see your vision and your next step, then you don't have to make sense to anybody else. You will not make sense to everyone, but as long as you believe it and as long as you can see your vision, you can hold that vision and you can shut out the outside noise, then go and follow your dreams and trust yourself to build the life that you want. This oh, this is something that's like just so relevant to me to me, especially, because quite a lot of the people in my life don't want the life that I want, like they don't have the hopes, dreams, and desires that I have. And I have to know that I have the vision, I have the vision in my mind, I can see it, I can feel it, I can touch it, and that's all that matters. As long as I can see it, then I can make it happen. You don't have to make sense to anybody else, and if you are surrounded by people who you don't make sense to, you don't have to explain yourself to them, you don't have to tell them your next steps, you don't have to tell them everything you're gonna do. You just have to know that if you can hold your vision and you can hold this these hopes and dreams for yourself, that's all that matters. Because yeah, you don't have to make sense to anybody other than yourself, and you probably won't make sense to everybody, and you could be the big, juiciest, yummiest peach in the world, and there will still be people that don't like peaches. So as long as you make sense to you, and as long as you like what you're gonna do, then that's all that matters. Number nine, don't take advice from those who aren't living the life you want to live. This is really powerful because you can ask for advice from people, you can ask for your friends and your family, and the people who know you and love you, and have been with you throughout your whole life for their opinion and maybe bounce ideas off with them. But when you start getting into detail and when they start potentially bringing in negativity, you can just cut it off. Like you don't have to take advice from people who aren't where you want to be. For example, I know my parents have their best their best intentions for me when they give me advice, but they don't neither of them live the life that I want to live. Neither of them are doing what I want to do. For example, my dad is full-time employed and has been employed in the corporate world for the majority of his life. So he doesn't understand me wanting to be an entrepreneur and travel the world and be a nomad and just live a different kind of life because he doesn't, he hasn't done it, he hasn't experienced it, he doesn't have the wisdom that somebody, for example, who might be living the life I want to live can offer me. So ask yourself if the people you're getting advice from are where you want to be, because if they're not take it with a pinch of salt. Number 10 is leave. Pull stop. End the sentence. Don't need to say anymore, leave. The relationship, the job, the country, the house, the place, etc. etc. etc. If you have a niggle, if you have any whisper that calls you, leave. Because life is too short to shrink yourself to fit into a box that you don't belong in. Life is too short to allow yourself to spend it in some way that doesn't set your soul on fire. Because you were meant for more. If you think you are meant for more, then you were meant for more. Your vision, you will not, you would not have these hopes, these dreams, and these desire, these desires if they weren't meant for you. You just wouldn't. It just it's just fact. I believe that we our consciousness exists in past, future, and present all at once. And we through our senses can really only experience the present moment, but we are infinite, we are all possibilities at all moments in all timelines. So I believe that our future has already been played out, our future already exists, and our intuition is our future self giving us guidance to make choices and make different decisions to maybe they did, so that we can go the right way. So allow yourself to learn your intuition, allow yourself to tap into that inner knowing within you and understand that if you're being called for more, it's because you're meant for more. So just leave. Leave if it's not meant for you, if you feel like you should leave, then leave. Because I promise you, nothing good will come from keeping yourself in a position that you think you've outgrown. Nothing good will come from being in a relationship, in a job, in a country, in a home, in a situation, anything that you're not meant to be in, and you will do everybody a favor in the long run by leaving and following your heart. So leave. Number 11. Do not be afraid of your full power or potential. This is a lesson that I am learning every single day. This is something that oh I find so hard because I think as women we are conditioned to be afraid of our power because let's face it, for hundreds of years we were burnt alive, hung, tortured for our power, for owning a voice, for standing in our power, for owning who we are, for being big, bold, brave, and beautiful. We were punished for it. We were tortured, like we were tortured and killed and shamed. So I think unlearning all of that and claiming your power and claiming your potential and living it is something that takes a long time to learn to to work yourself through. Because I mean, well, especially for me, I know that it's something that is a real ancestral wound in my lineage is standing in our power, owning our power, owning our voice, being afraid to speak up. So own your power because you are powerful for a reason, and it is your duty to the earth to own that power and to share it. Do not be afraid of your power. If it intimidates or scares people away, then they should have never been in your life in the first place. Let's face it, if you speak your truth, you stand in your power, you stand up for yourself, you set boundaries, you share who you really are. The people who run away were never meant to be in your life anyway. And you're just clearing space for the people who are supposed to be in your life. So never be afraid of your full potential and your full power because owning your full potential and your full power is the only way you will get to where you know you're supposed to be in life. For example, me right now, I've never filmed myself before, and I was like, You know what? It's the Aries new moon. It's 30 lessons I've learned by age 30. And when better moment than now on my new moon in my season, stepping into a new chapter, a new era, the my 30s, like I'm making myself show up. I'm allowing myself to stand in my power and I'm owning my full potential because I know this is where I belong. I don't belong hidden away. I just know it. I know that deep in my bones. I'm meant to be seen. I'm meant to share a message. I'm meant to own my power and stand in it so that I can allow you to as well. So I can encourage you to own your power because I can't sit here and tell you to own your power if I then refuse to own my own. So do not be afraid to shine your light and own your power. Number 12. Never let the world dole your sparkle. Like, never allow anybody to disrespect you, to put you down, to make you sad, to dole your sparkle. Yes, you're gonna go through shit. You're going to experience shit in this life. That's just a part of life. You're gonna go through ups and downs, you're gonna be disrespected, you're gonna be made to cry, you're gonna be made angry, you're gonna be trampled a bit by the world, but never allow it to take that sparkle away from you because we need that sparkle. We need people to be their true radiant, bright, and bubbly selves. Because if you're not that person, if you're not that shining light, then the world loses hope. The world loses hope. We need, especially in this dark world that we live in at the moment, we need people who are rays of sunshine. We need the sunshine because your rays of sunshine will spread to other people and cause them to be rays of sunshine. Like a smile is contagious. Do never, never ever let anything dull your sparkle, shine your light, smile, be vibrant and beautiful and radiant, and allow that to soak into everybody else around you. Because if you allow the world to dull your sparkle, then people will start going out light by light by light by light, and then the darkness wins. We cannot let the darkness win. We are here to be the light. We're here to remind people that there is good in the world. And if you have good in your heart, if you know you are a good person, if you know you are here with purity and love and good intention, never ever let anybody take that away from you. Never ever let that be taken, never ever let that be doled because sharing that sparkle is everything, and it will allow other people to ignite their own spark. Number 13 is nature will always hold you and heal you. This is a hill I will die on. Like nature, we are nature. We are nature, and we are raised to think that we are separate from her. We are raised to think that she's just something that we can use, something that we can take advantage of, something that we can take resource from. She is us, we are nature, we are a part of the natural world. Yes, we might be at the top of the food chain, but it doesn't matter. We're still a part of it. We are her. Like, go into nature if you feel lost, if you feel broken, if you feel hurt, if you feel upset or lost in any way, shape, or form, go into nature, walk barefoot on the earth, go for a walk in the forest, take no distraction, no phones, no music, no podcasts, and listen. Allow yourself to listen, allow yourself to be held and guided by her. Like go swim in the ocean, go lie on the sand, go touch the ground. When was the last time you allowed your bare skin to touch the earth? She will hold you and she will heal you. She will always be there for you. But you have to allow her the space to come into your life and hold you in the way you need to be held. Number 14. Your sensuality, your raw, divine, feminine essence is your fire. It is not for the male gaze. Your sensuality is not for the male gaze. As much as we might think it is, your raw sacred femininity, that divine fire within you, is not only for sexual purposes, it's not for the male gaze. It's not for that. We're raised to believe that our bodies exist to please others when they don't. Your body is a divine creation. Your body, your sensuality, your sexual creative energy is for you. It's for you to inspire, and it's it's there to inspire you, and it's there for you to use it however you see fit. It's there for you to express in any way, shape, or form. You could make arts, you could dance, you could create music, you could create magic, you could go outside and be with nature. You don't have to use your raw sensuality, your sexual energy for sexual purposes. It's your creative energy, it's your creative spark. It's there for you to express in any way you see fit. So just remind remember that next time you feel like the only time you're worthy of your raw divine sensual essence is with a man. Because it's not, you can cultivate that energy yourself and you can use it for creative purposes, like it's not just for the male gaze, it is for you. And number 15 no one is coming to save you but yourself, not your parents, not your partner, not your friends, not your colleagues, not your siblings, not even your therapist. No one is coming to save you but yourself. And when you understand that, when you own that, when you know that you are the only person that can make your dreams come true, you are the only person who can allow yourself to shine in the way that you know you were put here to shine. When you own that, and you know that no one else is coming to save you, you have to do the work and you have to save yourself. That is an empowering, empowering thing. Because that's something for this something that I've learned is that I was waiting over and over and over again for people to save me, people to come in, people to give me the business idea and the key to unlock this part of my life and this little hint or tip or skill that I needed to become my best self when nobody knows you like you do, no one is coming to save you, no one can do it for you. The only person who can create magic for yourself is you, the only person who can create the life that you want to live is you. Yes, people can help you along the way, people can guide you, people can help heal you, people can hurt you so that you then become a better version of yourself, people can empower you to become a better version of yourself, people can influence your journey, people can influence who you are along the way, but when it comes down to it, no one else can do it for you. Only you can do it. No one is coming to save you. As like, as sad as it sounds, it's also a really empowering thing once you realize that it's all on you and you can do it, you can do it. You have the power within you, you have the creativity, the essence, like you have the you have the spark and the fire and the drive within you to do it, then that's something magical because you realize that you don't have to get permission from anybody else, you don't have to wait for anybody else, you can do it yourself exactly as you want to do it, with no outside guidance or influence or anyone else's intention, it's just yours because no one's coming to save you but yourself. So do the work. Allow yourself to see your shadows, see your light, see every single aspect of yourself that you potentially hide from yourself, allow your consciousness to shine a light on your ego, allow yourself to own every aspect of yourself, your self-sabotage, your procrastination, your shrinking yourself, you're hiding from your power, you're not stepping into your full potential. Allow yourself to see all these things, own it, don't shame it, don't blame it. Own it, put it in the past and choose to live differently and save yourself. Create the life you've always wanted to live for yourself. Because what a magical thing to know that you can look back and know that you did it all yourself. You did that for you. So that is part one of 30 lessons I learned by age 30. One to 15 of my lessons so far. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. 30 Lessons I've learned by age 30. Part one, because there's too much juice to fit into one whole episode. If you are watching along for the very first time, welcome! I'm so glad to have you here. And make sure you subscribe to the Good Guy Rebellion Podcast on YouTube so you don't miss one of my weekly episodes. And if you are here on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, then make sure you follow the podcast to catch all of my weekly episodes. I am so grateful to have you here. And if this episode resonated with you and you feel like these lessons are something that somebody else in your life also needs to hear, make sure to share the podcast with the guys and girls who need to hear this message the most. As always, thank you so much again for joining me, and I will see you again next week for part two of 30 lessons I learned by the age of 30. All my love and have a wonderful week.