Courage to Evolve: The Permission to Outgrow Who You’ve Been

Outgrowing old versions of yourself can feel uncomfortable, emotional and deeply uncertain, but it’s often a sign that you’re evolving and becoming the woman you are meant to be

In this episode, we’re talking about identity shifts, reinvention, why the nervous system wants you to stay the same, and the courage it takes to let go of who you once were to become who you’re meant to be

From changing habits, countries and relationships to navigating the lonely in-between phase of growth, this conversation is all about learning to trust your evolution instead of resisting it

This episode is your reminder that growth is not betrayal and you do not owe permanent loyalty to the version of yourself you once needed to survive

You are allowed to evolve, grow and change 🌀

Come and connect with me on socials @thegoodgirlrebellionpodcast⁩ for more on cyclical living, magick, feminine energy, and coming back to your rhythm - we will back on screen next week ✌🏼

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the Good Girl Rebellion Podcast. I'm your host Izzy and I'm so grateful to have you here on another episode. The Good Girl Rebellion is all about reclaiming your rhythm in mind, body, and spirit. Each week we are unraveling years of conditioning to reclaim our wild, rebellious, and intuitive truth. So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wildest self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you are in the right place. Welcome to the rebellion. This week I want to talk all about becoming the permission to outgrow the woman you were and allowing yourself to become the woman you're supposed to be. I am coming to you this week via audio. There is no video because I have just moved to Australia. And I think this is the perfect episode for what is actually happening for me in my actual real life. Because I have just had to say goodbye to a version of myself that no longer resonated. I have just had to step away from my home, step away from everything I knew, everything that is second nature to me. I've left the UK, I've left my comfort zone, I've left my bubble, my safe space, the place I grew up, the place where things are comfortable, to step into the complete unknown, to move 10,000 miles around the world to a whole new country completely alone. And it's an incredibly tough thing to do. But if you are anything like me and you know that the place that you call home isn't somewhere that you actually want to call home, actually, in the long run, staying somewhere that isn't meant for you, staying somewhere that doesn't set your soul on fire is actually the hardest thing to do. I know that the version of myself that I am when I live in the UK, I don't enjoy being that version of myself. I don't enjoy being that person. I have spent the last I've been at home for five months and I really, really struggled with the woman I was and the woman I am when I'm at home in the UK. I just don't enjoy it. And whilst that is a very positive thing to move to Australia, to be this new version of myself, I've been really thinking about the fact that growth is very uncomfortable because I think we romanticize becoming a new version of ourselves. We romanticize this future version of ourselves, this person that doesn't yet exist that's within us, but we don't talk enough about the grief that comes with it. The grief of outgrowing people, outgrowing habits, outgrowing identities, outgrowing the old version of yourself that went once felt so safe and familiar. And like in my case, outgrowing locations, outgrowing somewhere you once called home, outgrowing somewhere that you once thought you were gonna be forever, and knowing that it doesn't serve you anymore. I think this is one of the hardest parts of growth is realizing that life, routines, mindset, relationships that once felt aligned suddenly don't fit you anymore. And it's a really strange feeling because nothing necessarily looks wrong from the outside, nothing could be out of place, out of balance, but internally something just feels wrong, something just feels different, you feel different. So that's what I want to talk about: the art of becoming, the art of reinvention, and the art of giving ourselves the permission to evolve, about understanding that yes, okay, things might not look bad on the outside, but if you feel like you are drowning on the inside, something needs to give. Because that is something that I had. I remember I said to my mum, I was like, I feel like every single day I look at myself in the mirror and I just watch my spark just go out bit by bit. I watched the glitter, like the sparkle in my eyes dim, like day by day by day. And she was like, Yeah, but from the outside, you look like you're thriving. And I was like, that's wild. Because like my internal state, I felt like I was drowning. I felt like I was out in the ocean and I was paddling as hard as I could, and I was trying so fucking hard, but I was just sinking. And it was reflected in my emotional, physical, mental state. I was in the worst mental state I think I've been in in a very long time. I have been I'm now in the worst physical shape that I've ever been in in my life, I would say, in my adult life. I lost my cycle, my period. I didn't bleed since January from a bed in January, and then I didn't bleed again until the end of April, just four days before I was due to leave for Australia. And yeah, I just felt so overwhelmed, like I was drowning. So if that resonates, if there is a part of your life that you feel like you are drowning, it's because something needs to shift. It's because you are not meant to stay the same. I think so many people unconsciously expect themselves to be the same forever. The same personality, you have the same goals, you have the same routine, you have the same identity. But everything in nature changes and you are nature. The seasons change, the ocean changes, our bodies change, our hormones change, our desires change. Everything alive evolves, and the whole point of life is to evolve. Evolution. We are supposed to learn and evolve and grow and change. That is everything. And yet, when we start changing, we panic because we think, why don't I feel like myself anymore? But maybe the real question is, what if the version of you that you're clinging to is no longer aligned with where you are supposed to go? And honestly, I think a lot of the anxiety during transformation season comes from trying to force yourself to remain the version of you you used to be. I know, as much as I loved my time in the UK with a pinch of salt, I got to spend a lot of time with my friends and my family. I know that potentially if I enjoy Australia, I could be here for up to three years if I decide not to stay longer. So having this time at home with my friends and family was something I really wanted to do. I wanted to be at home for my mum on her 60th birthday. I wanted to be at home for myself on my 30th birthday. But when I look back in hindsight, I really should have left like earlier. I should have left earlier in 2026 because I was clinging to the version of myself that I am when I'm at home. I was trying so hard to be okay at home. And I can see now everything in my life unraveled. Like my physical body, my mental state, my emotional state, my spiritual self, everything, like all the good work, all the work I've put into myself, I just unraveled because I'm not supposed to be there. And when you're not supposed to be in a situation, when you're not supposed to be in an environment, a relationship, a job, a destination, when you've outgrown it, your body will start to change. And your body, for example, you might get sick, you might put on weight, you might lose weight, you might feel unstable, anxious, overwhelmed. You aren't gonna feel your best self. You're just not. When you're not supposed to be somewhere, your body will react because the body knows more than your mind. The body knows things quicker than your mind does. Because the body reacts in real time, whereas the mind has to analyze everything and then make a decision. So if you feel off, it's your body telling you that something needs to give. And don't ignore that. Because this is your body giving you signs that you're outgrowing an old version of yourself. It might look like things that used to excite you don't excite you anymore. You might start craving more alone time. Certain friendships or environments just feel draining, your old routine stops working, you feel emotionally sensitive or overwhelmed, you feel disconnected from your current life, but also unsure about what comes next. You just feel like you're trying so hard and nothing is working. You feel like you know it should be able to flow easier than this, but it's just not flowing. And I think one of the hardest parts is to be in this in-between. It's the space where you're no longer who you used to be, but then you're no longer the full version of who you're becoming. And this space feels uncertain. This is the void. This is the time when we have to just release our control and we have to allow the universe to guide us to take steps in the right direction. Like it can feel lonely and it can feel confusing and messy and horrible, but the void is where the magic happens because I honestly think the becoming phase is one of the most sacred parts of life because everything is rearranging itself internally before it shifts externally. And a really beautiful phrase that I kept coming back to when I was in this in-between phase at home was what a blessing it is to be lost of what only the lost can then be found. If you don't know your way, if you feel overwhelmed and stressed and like you're lost, it's a blessing because only people who are lost can be found. Only people who are have no direction can be redirected in the right way. And another thing to remember is that the only reason, not the only reason, but one of the main reasons we resist change is because our nervous system loves the familiar. Even if the familiar thing is unhealthy, if it's limiting, if it's making us miserable, and even if we know in the long run it isn't going to serve our highest good and our greatest purpose. Because the familiar feels safe, and this is why people stay in relationships they've outgrown, they stay attached to old identities, they keep repeating patterns, they stay in their comfort zone because their comfort zone is where their nervous system wants them to be. Not because it feels good, but because it's known. And this is where so many people go wrong because they stay loyal to the old versions of themselves, because they are so scared of disappointing others, disappointing themselves, and stepping into the unknown and not knowing where they're gonna go. Because this seriously challenges our nervous system. This pushes us so far out of our comfort zone that it just feels so wrong. Because maybe as well you've always been the one that's been reliable, the productive one, the good girl, the easy-going one, the version of yourself everyone expects, the version of yourself that everybody else wants you to be. Fuck that. Who do you want to be? Because your growth will eventually ask you, are you willing to disappoint other people in order to stop abandoning yourself? Because that is what it comes down to. Becoming the version of yourself that you are meant to be requires boundaries. It requires honesty, it requires change, and it requires uncertainty. I know that all of my friends and family back in the UK would have loved for me to stay in the UK, but I would have lost myself in the process. So I had to disappoint people. I know that I haven't disappointed them for life. They still love me for who I am, they're still gonna be there for me when I need them, as I am for them, but you have to take a chance on yourself. You have to understand that you potentially will have to let people down and set boundaries and be strong and be true to yourself in order to stop abandoning yourself. Are you willing to disappoint people in order to stop abandoning yourself? Because one thing I've noticed is nobody comes along and gives you the permission slip. Nobody comes along and tells you, okay, you've done enough. It's time for you to change now. You have to do it yourself. You have to become somebody new yourself. And the reinvention is often so much smaller than people imagine. It's not some big overnight change. It's things like changing your routine, changing the way you speak to yourself, resting more, moving your body differently, spending more time alone, starting new hobbies, dressing differently, creating a calmer life, leaving environments that no longer align with you. And honestly, a huge part of becoming is letting yourself be a beginner again, which is so uncomfortable and also puts more stress on your nervous system because it doesn't like being the person that doesn't know what it's doing. It doesn't like the new. But in order to evolve, in order to change, you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and you have to be bad at the new because nothing changes if nothing changes. And you won't always feel confident immediately. You won't always know exactly where you're going, but you do not need to know your entire future to start evolving. You do not need to know and see the full staircase in order to take the first step. I knew I wanted to move to Australia. So I took the first step. I've moved to Australia. I have a house sit for the first four weeks. I don't have a clue what I'm doing after that, but I knew as long as I got myself on that plane in this country, trusted myself, put all my eggs in my own basket, the next step will be revealed. And I know it will. I know that the next step is going to reveal itself. And sometimes you can't plan things until you get there. Sometimes you can't, you can't create the whole staircase without knowing how that first step is going to evolve. I have all these ideas and I had all these plans and I could go to all these different places and look for all these kind of different jobs, but nothing really makes sense until you actually understand and can navigate the landscape of that first step. For example, I thought maybe I might go to Perth or the Gold Coast or somewhere else in the country to work. And I've got to the Sunshine Coast, and I'm like, you know what? I actually really love it here. And I didn't think it was going to be as easy to get around without a car, but it actually is. They have a really good bus route. So I'm like, okay, well, maybe I can stay here. So that means if I'd have built that rest of my staircase, I would have regretted it. So you just have to make the first step and trust that the next step will be revealed. You have to trust in your ability to push yourself out of your comfort zone and be there for yourself and know that if you take a chance on yourself, the next step will be revealed. I always like to think how does it feel in my body? Because if something feels calm, grounding, and doesn't make me feel overly anxious, something excites me, but it feels it just feels right. It feels calm, it doesn't feel very overwhelming. I know that that's the right thing. Something I always speak about is how the body knows before the mind does. And your body will be able to tell you that you're making the wrong decision if you allow yourself to tune into it and listen. Have you ever been in a situation and then all of a sudden your body's like really craving rest or slowness or nature or creativity? You just kind of you might have gone out for a social event and all you want to do is go home and get in your bed and put your pajamas on and just like not talk to anybody. This is your body communicating with you before your logical mind actually fully understands what's going on. And I think our desires are often breadcrumbs leading us towards our next evolution. For example, that scenario I just said, it might be your body trying to tell you that you've actually outgrown that situation. You actually might not want to be there, but your logical mind just wants you to go and fit in and do what you've always done. So look for these breadcrumbs, look for these little snippets of information that your body is trying to give you, because that will help you make the right decision and that will help you lead you along the path you need to be on. Because we have been so conditioned to be disconnected from our body. But if we can allow ourselves to slow down and listen and understand what it is she's trying to communicate, we will stop forcing ourselves to live in ways that no longer align with how we want to be. Because your body is constantly communicating to you, but you have been conditioned to override and stop listening. So I encourage you to slow down and start listening once again. You also have to allow yourself the space to grieve the old version of yourself. This is often a part that I think people skip over when they are becoming a new version of themselves. They forget to grieve the version of themselves that they have once been, because even positive growth involves loss. You might grieve at friendships, routines, dynamics, coping mechanisms, even old versions of your success. And sometimes you even grieve the version of you that survived certain seasons because she got you here. But she may not be the version of you that carries you forward, but I think the healing really depends on when you stop judging yourself for changing. Like I have fully have to I fully had to come to the conclusion and accept that the version of myself that I became whilst I was in the UK was the version of myself I had to become to understand one, how bad it can get, so I can appreciate how good it can get, because when I did have it good last year, I did not appreciate it. I know that I can look back now and think, oh, I was in a really good place. But actually, when I put myself back in my shoes, I was very self-conscious, very insecure, very lost, and I had no real direction of what I was doing, where I was going, and I was really I wasn't sitting in my authentic self. I was quite lost. I'd been through a I would say an emotionally abusive relationship. It was definitely an emotionally abusive relationship, and that really took a lot of my spark. So I kind of lost myself to that. And I know that this season back at home, yes, I don't appreciate what happened and I didn't enjoy it as such, but it made me stronger because it's allowed me the confidence to move to Australia alone, to be in a more grounded place where I can build myself up in a way that I know is going to be sustainable and is positive and beneficial to my future self. And it's also just understanding that we all have seasons. That was my season of hibernation, of death. It was the season of going inwards, to facing my shadows, to being in the darkness. And without that darkness, you can't have the lights. And the minute I accepted that, the minute I stopped resisting where I was and I understood that this is just a part of my story. This doesn't need to be changed, it doesn't need to be alchemized right here, right now. I can sit in the pain and I can feel it, I got my period like five days later. Which I think just speaks volumes to the fact that you have to understand that the version you might have been was needed. That version of you got you to where you need to be, and it will make you stronger in the long run. Everything happens for a reason. And whilst I might have regretted some of the things I did and some of the things that happened, I know that in hindsight I'll be able to look back and know that it was all how it was supposed to unfold. Everything happens for a reason, and I am that is a hill I will die on. Everything happens for a reason. And if you don't know the reason yet, it's because you haven't got to the part of your life which was the knock-on effect. Everything has cause and effect. So once you can believe that everything is happening for you and not to you, your life will change significantly. Because you need to romanticize your becoming. I think there's something incredibly beautiful about intentionally rebuilding your life and not unconsciously rebuilding your life. Last year I would say I was just running on autopilot. I was kind of running in a process that I thought was going to benefit me, but now I look back and I know that actually I was just trying to be the version of myself that I thought everyone else would like. I wasn't my most authentic version of myself. So here I am romanticizing my becoming. Yes, I might be not where I want to be right now. I might be living in a different country completely alone. But here we are, we get to rebuild something beautiful that we can do intentionally. We get to live our life how we want because we took a chance on ourselves. And yes, I'm not telling you to move to Australia, you don't have to take a chance that big. You could carve out a small section of your day each day to put yourself first and romanticize your becoming. You could make your mornings softer, you could take yourself on a solo date, you could go for a walk at sunset, you could create little rituals around things you want to bring into your life. You could make your life feel safe and beautiful again. Because becoming this next version of yourself doesn't have to be harsh all the time. It doesn't have to be hustle and grind and push and pressure. It can be something beautiful done in a really feminine, slow, sensual way. There can be magic in witnessing yourself evolve. So if you are in a season where things feel uncertain, where your old life no longer fully fits, but your new life isn't really there yet, this is your reminder to allow yourself to feel yourself changing and know that you are not failing. You are evolving. You are allowed to outgrow identities that no longer align. You are allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to become somebody new. And becoming is not about abandoning yourself, it's about returning to yourself more deeply than ever before. Because growth is not betrayal, evolution is natural, and you do not owe permanent loyalty to who you used to be. So allow yourself the permission to outgrow who you have been and allow yourself to become the woman you know you are put here to be. But give yourself the time and the space to grieve that version of you. To allow yourself to know that you couldn't have this future version of you without the current void you are in now. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If it resonated, then make sure to follow the podcast wherever you are listening. Or if you'd like to watch the videos which will be back next week, then subscribe on YouTube. Make sure to follow or subscribe so you don't miss one of my weekly episodes. And if this resonated, then make sure to send to the guys and girls who need to hear this message. For those who are becoming the next version of themselves. But need a reminder that sometimes the next version of themselves means they have to give grace and compassion to the version of themselves that they are outgrowing. If you haven't already, come and connect with me on Instagram at the Good Girl Rebellion Podcast and the Cyclica for all things feminine energy, cyclical living, mindset, and magic. May you step into this next version of yourself with ease and grace and give yourself the permission you need to know that this is where you are supposed to go. You are supposed to learn and evolve and grow. And outgrowing what once served you is not wrong. This is what you are supposed to be doing, and know that this is the path you are supposed to follow. Thank you again for being here. All my love, and I will see you again next week.