Your Good Girl Conditioning Didn't Disappear… It Became Spiritual

You think you've broken free from your good girl conditioning... but what if your ego has simply found a new way to keep you performing?

In this episode, I'm sharing a realisation that completely humbled me, I didn't stop being the "good girl" I just became a spiritual version of her

From chasing the perfect morning routine and obsessing over healing to trying to be high vibe, productive and endlessly self-improving, I realised I'd turned my healing journey into another performance

If you've ever felt like you're trying to heal the right way, this episode is your permission slip to let go of perfect, stop micromanaging yourself and come back home to who you really are

Remember that the whole point of life is to f*ck around, find out and have fun in the process! 

Make sure to come and follow me over on socials @thecyclica for all things menstrual cycle education, feminine embodiment and magick 🧚🏼‍♀️🌀✨🌙

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I had broken my good girl conditioning. Only to be well and truly humbled recently and come across the realization that actually, yes, I may have broken my good girl conditioning in one aspect, but my ego has done the incredible sneaky thing that it does, and it has evolved into a new form of conditioning, into my good girl spiritual conditioning. I have been conditioned into being a spiritual good girl. And do you know what? Fuck that. I am sick of being the good girl in every way, shape, and form in my life. So welcome to this episode. If you feel like you've ever sat down just that little bit longer, even when you knew you were done, just to journal that bit harder, to meditate that bit longer, to work out that little bit harder, to add just one little extra bit to your yoga flow, to eat just a little bit cleaner, to wake up just a little bit earlier so that you can do X, Y, and Z before you go to work. Then this episode is for you. Because your ego, like mine, has evolved. This is not freedom, this is performance. I'm your host, Izzy, and I'm so grateful to have you here on another episode. The Good Go Rebellion is all about reclaiming your rhythm in mind, body, and spirit. Each week we're unraveling years of conditioning to reclaim our wild, rebellious, and intuitive truths. So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wildest self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you are in the right place. Welcome to the rebellion. As young women, we were conditioned to be good, liked, to earn our love, to never make mistakes, to be the good, palatable, good girls that we are. But this then evolved into a new form of conditioning, to achieve the perfect healing, the perfect routine, have the perfect body, to have the best mindset, to have the best energy, to have the highest vibe, to have the cleanest diet, to be X, Y, and Z in this new aspect of Good Girl. We have been conditioned to think that this is now the set bar. But this then evolved into the perfect routine, the perfect healing, the perfect morning practice, the perfect body, the perfect yoga flows, the perfect energy, the perfect high vibe aura, the perfect eating, the perfect diet. It's just evolved into all of this stuff that now we see online as wellness and health and happiness and joy when it's not. It's just another cage, it's another box that we put ourselves in. And I know I'm guilty of this. Me and one of my girlfriends were literally just talking about this on FaceTime about how the ego has evolved to just become a new version of ourselves. And I came to realize that every single aspect of my life while I was at home was under the microscope. I was spiritually micromanaging myself, which there's no fun in that. There's no joy in that. There's no life and abundance and flow. There's no room for play and ease and pleasure and creativity when we are scrutinizing absolutely everything we do. Because the ego is driving that. The ego loves control. And sometimes self-improvement becomes a socially accepted form of self-rejection. Because you are rejecting all those messy parts of yourself in order to be this perfect version of yourself. What perfect doesn't exist? The whole point is to just be you, messy, perfect, everything intertwined all together. So if you are still living perfectly, if you are chasing this idea of everything has to be done right, everything has to be done a certain way, this episode is for you. And let me ask you, how's it going? Because it's not fucking going well for me. That's for sure. Because if you are forcing routines, obsessing over having a high vibration, judging yourself for resting, analyzing every single emotion that you experience, we have missed the point of healing. Because healing is supposed to bring you back to yourself, to bring you more joy, to bring you more happiness, not take you further away from joy, which is how I feel this direction is taking us. So, how can you just learn to release this spiritual good girl conditioning to fuck around, find out, and have fun in the process? So, what you're gonna do to shift yourself out of this mindset is every time you come across a situation, every time you are going to do something that you routinely do, I want you to ask yourself am I doing this from fear or love? Am I doing this because I have to or because I want to? Like, can you look at a situation like meditation, journaling, workout, gym, like eating clean, everything that you do in this good girl spiritual conditioning? Can you ask yourself, are you doing it from love or are you doing it because you have to? Because showing up because you want to be there, showing up because you want to take this moment to pause before you start your day, showing up to journal because you want to get your thoughts down on paper and analyse how you might be feeling, showing up at the gym because you love your body and you want to move it in a way that nourishes you and makes you feel strong is completely different to meditating because you feel like you have to, journaling because it's just what someone on Instagram told you you should be doing, moving your body because you hate it and you want it to look a certain way. The energy shift is completely different. And when you can strip out all the stuff that you are making yourself do out of obligation, out of having to do it, to tick it off your to-do list, you then open up the space for things that you actually want to do. Like, for example, I struggle with meditation, I am a meditation teacher, but occasionally I really struggle to sit down and meditate. I just can't do it, I don't want to, I have this resistance. So when that happens, instead of forcing myself to do it, I journal. I get my notebook and I journal and I know that everything is a flow, everything is a balance. Sometimes I can sit down and half an hour, 45-minute hour meditation, and it's absolutely fine. Sometimes I can sit there for 10 minutes and that's enough. It's about understanding that it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be a certain type of way every single time, but can you do what you want out of love? Can you have a list of things that you can rotate through, things that you know are nourishing for you and serving you and are good for you? And then can you show up and do them when you actually want to do them, not out of obligation, but because you want to. Number two, stop treating yourself like a project to fix. You are not something that is wrong that needs to be fixed. You don't have to be a certain type of way to enjoy your life. You are human, you are supposed to fuck it up and figure it out and try again and wake up again and do it all over again. Like that's the whole point. You're not a project to fix. You don't have to work like a machine, like a robot. You don't have to have a set, regimented plan in order to get yourself from A to B. You are not something to fix. You are perfect just as you are. So stop trying to be a certain way in order to feel worthy enough of X, Y, and Z. Stop trying to look a certain way, feel a certain way, reach a certain type of vibration. Stop waiting to have fun. Take something off of your healing list. Can you make yourself spend the whole day in a way that makes you happy but has absolutely no productive output? When was the last time any of us did that? When was the last time any of us did something that truly brought us joy that wasn't gonna get us from A to B? That wasn't going to have some kind of output, some kind of knock-on effect later on. Just stop analysing yourself because you are not a project to fix. You are human and you are perfect just as you are. Number three is let your life be messy. You are human. You're supposed to experience all of it. The whole point of the human experience is to experience every single emotion, every single aspect and element that life has. The whole point is to be all of it. You're not supposed to be perfect, you're not supposed to have all of your shit figured out. You're supposed to feel it all, you're supposed to do it messy. Spiritual people still cry, they still get upset, they still get angry, they still have happy days and sad days and good days and bad days. Like the whole point is to be messy, is to experience life in the ups and downs and everything in between. Because life isn't a straight line, life isn't an easy ride for the majority of us. Life is about learning and getting it wrong and figuring it out and trying again. And number four, this is a phrase that I feel like is being thrown around quite a lot at the moment. But the most spiritual thing you can do is have fun. Fuck around, find out, and have fun in the process. Because the whole point of life is to have fun. The whole point of life is to experience joy and love and abundance and all the beautiful things that are on this earth. Joy is your birthright. Experiencing everything that makes you happy is going to give you a high vibration anyway. It's going to have all these knock-on effects that you're trying to get from a spiritual practice. So stop looking at your lens through your good girl spiritual conditioning and start looking at it through fucking around and having fun. Like, who cares? It's not that serious. Life is really not that serious. The only thing that makes us think it's serious is all the rules that have been put in place to keep us small and keep us in a box. Like, life really is anything. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Like me, I just left the UK and I've moved to the Sunshine Coast and I'm gonna start a life in Australia. You can do whatever you want. It is all up to you. So fuck around, find out, and have fun in the process. Because if you have been trying to manifest perfectly, evolve perfectly, regulate yourself perfectly, show up perfectly, this is your reminder that you do not have to do it perfect. You can do it messy, perfect, happy, sad, everything in between. Just showing up, just being yourself, just doing what you truly want to do in each and every moment is enough. Because life is not a performance. You're allowed to do it messy. You're allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to have bad days, you're allowed to cry and be sad, and you're allowed to stop micromanaging yourself. You are allowed to understand that you can show up exactly as you are. Because maybe the deepest healing, something that I am definitely learning recently, isn't about being perfect. It's about simply being human. It's about being who you are and coming as you are and allowing yourself to just have fun in the process. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you haven't already, then make sure to follow along on Spotify or wherever you're listening and subscribe on YouTube if you are watching. If this resonated and you know anybody in your life who you also think is living through their spiritual good girl conditioning, make sure to share this episode so we can share the love and we can all break our conditioning and be free and just fuck around and have fun. May you meet yourself where you're at and break your idea of perfect and just become who you put on this earth to be. I will see you again on the podcast next week. All my love.