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Pairs Well With...
Welcome to Pairs Well With…
Life doesn’t always follow a script—and this podcast is all about what happens when it doesn’t.
Hosted by Serena Flowers and Sheila Bossier, two longtime friends, business-owning women lawyers, with a shared love for deep conversations and fresh perspectives, Pairs Well With… is a space for honest, entertaining, and inspiring stories about reinvention, transitions, and whatever comes next. Whether you’re shifting careers, navigating relationships, becoming an empty nester, starting over, or simply figuring things out—we’re right there with you.
Each episode, we dive into real-life topics with warmth, humor, and a touch of hard-earned wisdom. We also bring on guests with compelling stories about taking leaps, making changes, and embracing the unexpected.
Explore our episodes, subscribe on your favorite platform, and come discover what Pairs Well With… your next chapter.
Pairs Well With…Because life doesn’t come with a roadmap — but it does come with good company. And that pairs well with everything that matters.
Pairs Well With...
Introduction to "Pairs Well With..." and Co-Hosts Serena and Sheila
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What happens when two successful lawyers, longtime friends, and women navigating life transitions find themselves at similar crossroads? The answer is "Pairs Well With...", a podcast born from countless conversations over long dinners and late nights about reinvention, bold new chapters, and finding what truly matters.
Hosts Serena and Sheila bring their contrasting styles—one intentional and planned, the other spontaneous and creative—to candid discussions about transitions that many face but few talk about openly. As they both approach empty-nest status, they're asking profound questions: What does it mean to put yourself second (or even first) after decades of prioritizing everyone else? How do you redefine yourself when roles that defined you for decades begin to change? What feeds your soul when you finally have time to be intentional?
Their conversation weaves through the challenges of letting perfectionism go, the power of supportive female friendships, and the excitement (mixed with trepidation) of having control over their calendars for perhaps the first time in adult life. With warmth and humor, they share personal stories about motherhood, career evolution, and discovering new passions—from Sheila's love of entertaining to Serena's venture into vintage clothing with her new store, The Green Butterfly.
Whether you're facing your own midlife transition, curious about reinvention, or simply enjoy authentic conversations between friends who aren't afraid to get real, "Pairs Well With..." offers companionship for the journey. Join us as we navigate these changes together, bringing in other voices at our "Friends Table" to share their wisdom along the way. Subscribe now and become part of a community embracing the next chapter with curiosity, courage, and a healthy sense of humor.
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Disclaimer:
The content of this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Although your hosts are attorneys, Pairs Well With… does not provide legal, medical, financial, or professional advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship. Always seek the advice of qualified professionals regarding any specific questions or concerns you may have.
Welcome to Pairs Well With
Welcome to the very first episode of Pairs Well With the podcast about reinvention bold new chapters and conversations that meet you right where you are .
We're your hosts , serena and Sheila , good friends , business-owning lawyers and women navigating midlife with curiosity , courage and a sense of humor .
Every episode we'll explore the real stuff friendships , freedom , purpose and the pivots we never saw coming .
Thanks for being here . Let's get into it .
Good morning Sheila , Good morning Serena , Glad to be here .
We've been talking about this a long time now we're finally here . I know this was an idea that came to us at one of our many friendship dinners that we've shared through the years , and we're excited to share it with others . We , I think , both bring a unique perspective to life and we're at some crossroads in our life , so it's time to do this venture together and launch this podcast called Pairs Well With .
And I think it is going to be a really fun thing for us to do as we do move forward through the next transition , which we'll share with whoever's listening to us , but to let them know who we are we're both lawyers . That's how we met Moms . That's how we really got to know each other . We're friends , obviously , for a decade plus , and we have lots of mutual friends in common who we love and adore , and that , I think , is really one of the reasons why we said we wanted to get together and talk about our lives and how interesting we think our friends are .
I think it would be a great start . When we talk about Pairs Well With , because we're both at this place in life and we're going to discuss business topics , we're going to discuss aging parents , we're going to discuss aging parents , we're going to discuss empty nests and just being at a crossroads where we get to determine how we reinvent ourselves , right .
So why are we here , serena ? We've been talking about this forever . It seems like and I know you and I have had some parallel journeys , but different .
You and I have had some parallel journeys , but different , very different , and so why are we here today ? I think for me one of the things is exploring a creative side of myself and in our careers as you said earlier , we're both lawyers A lot of times that does not allow for creativity because of the structure that you practice within . I do think that in mine particularly being a government relations lawyer it allows for more creativity than per se a litigator , and I think that's reflective of our personality . But there's so many things that we want to discuss about life in general and the different phases of life , and when we get together with our girlfriends , who you referenced earlier in our introductory segment , we're all so different and we've all taken such different paths and the cohesiveness of our group is so interesting .
I have people say to me all the time y'all have the most amazing group of girlfriends . Y'all are all highly successful , very independent women of all race , families who give back to the community , who are leaders in your profession . But you're also unique and we don't see the cattiness that you often see among women . Y'all are also just close knit and support each other , and I think that's very unique , and so we wanted to first explore that , but then it's going to branch into so many other things , I think being able to really sit back and be intentional about life is a luxury , and , for me at least , I don't feel like I've had a lot of opportunity to do that .
I feel like life is very fast paced and you have things you have to do Days you have to get through months you have to get through years you have to get through . To do days you have to get through months , you have to get through years , you have to get through and so a lot of it is just have to instead of want to , and so , for me , a lot of what is going on right now is a shift into every part of life . What do I want to do next ? What do I want to do next with my career ? What do I want to do next in terms of being a mom that has a daughter that's going off to college ? What I want to do next with family issues ? What I want to do next with my health and wellness and those types of things , and those are the kind of things that are universal for people our age , men and women , and , I think , our women , our woman group that we have .
I think that's why we are bonded , because we all have those same kinds of issues , different but the same yes yes well , some other things that we wanted to talk about and that prompted this podcast that you just referenced were reinventing yourself and having the luxury to do that at a certain point in life . I am going to be an empty nester myself , after raising three children . My youngest graduated high school this year and she's headed to college , and so , for the first time in my life as an adult , my oldest child was born when I was 21 and in college I've never had an adult life to myself . I literally moved from the sorority hall to an apartment and started a family , and so reinventing myself at this point as an empty nester and also turning 50 last year , I think that mentally for a lot of people , makes you reevaluate your life and how you're spending your time and how you want to spend your time in what's called the second half and how you want to spend your time in what's called the second half .
I think there's a point when you realize you're a grown-up and you have to be intentional about what you want to do with your life and what it's going to mean at the end of the day . I think getting older does give you that perspective of I don't have to waste time and to try to make other people happy all the time and figure out what it is that's going to make you content with your own existence . You know , and I feel like that reinvention comes when you're not constantly having to take care of other people . It's the day-to-day , always having other people at the forefront . I think that's part of a woman's perspective on a lot of things , especially when they have a family . We tend to put ourselves last for everything , and so for me , the reinvention is what is it going to look like when I try to put myself ? Maybe not first , but maybe second ? Yeah .
Because we're often third , fourth , sixth and then down the line .
Right , yeah , and so it's one of those things of trying to figure that out Right , right , yeah , and so it's . It's one of those things of trying to figure that out , and that's really the conversations that you and I have had over the last year or more that you know what are we going to do next , and it's not like there's this line of demarcation . I think there's just this gradual shift , but I do think there has to be intentionality to it .
That's a great point , and you're much better at thinking intentionally . My personality is thinking more spontaneously and that's why I think us doing this podcast together is going to be a great pairing Right , exactly Because we bring . Our personalities are different , our experiences are different . Our , you know , travel through motherhood has been different , our background and upbringing . You didn't grow up in Mississippi I did , but you have always been in the South too . When you think about the intersection of motherhood , business , reinventing yourself , you know there are things
Why Start a Podcast Now?
that hold you back . There are some stepping stones or or things that trip you up at times , and getting to this point has not been that easy for either one of us . What do you think in your background has either been a stepping stone to get you here , or something that tripped you up to , that held you back before you got to this ?
point . Well , I think life , I think obligation and feeling like there were things I had to do . I am an intentional person , I plan a lot , I research a lot , and so it's one of those things where I feel like I get caught up a lot in the researching and the details . I make sure I'm going to do it right , because if I don't do it right , I don't want to do it at all , and that is true from everything from my work life to hosting a dinner party . You know , if I can't do it right and right meaning in the way that I'm going to be satisfied with the outcome and feel good about it I don't want to do it . I don't want to waste my time doing it , and so I think part of it is I'm now feeling like I've got time not today , but eventually I'll have some time to really focus on those kinds of things and do things that are going to make me feel good at the end of the day , without being sort of haphazard about it .
And I do have to give you a plug here . Your dinner parties are amazing . You do the best theme parties . You do the best just formal dinner parties , casual dinner parties , I mean . In one day we're going to talk just about your China collection .
Well , I would love that , because that is my passion well .
Speaking about passions , you know that is something that you and I both want to use . This podcast is to explore our own passions , but to bring other women in for conversations , to explore their passions and where they might be at the same intersection in life . What do they want to do to reinvent themselves ? But all of that hinges on , you know , being at this crossroads and how do you take those elements of those different facets of your life to still serve those people in those parts of your life but also start taking charge of you ? And what do you want for the remaining time that you have , right ?
And I've seen your travel schedule and pictures on social media of all the territory you've covered in the last six weeks or so and it's been incredible . So I think even us really sticking with this decision that we really wanted to do this and not just make it something that we'll get to down the road has been really important .
You referenced my travel , another thing that is different for both of us I am on my second marriage . I have a blended family where we have seven children , and so not only am I becoming an empty nester for my household , but we're very close to becoming empty nester for all seven of them . Like you said , over the last few weeks , in 21 days , we had four graduations two high school graduations , one vet school graduation , one MIT graduation in Boston and then one child that got engaged and throw in a freshman orientation . So chaos is what I call my life controlled chaos . We nickname our house Mayhem Manor because it's juggling the schedules of not just two professionals my husband is in politics and real estate but trying to see and serve our seven children , who live in six cities and three states .
Well , and you've been able to do all of that and the kids are doing great and you and your husband are doing great and you all look great and you're always fabulously dressed and still exercising and redoing your home , redoing your work life and finding your passion and your avocation that you are developing now that we'll talk about some more . And so you're doing it . You know you're doing it all . It doesn't always have to be so pretty , but you're getting it done .
So that's kind of the amazing part of it have to be so pretty , but you're getting it done . So that's kind of the amazing part of it . One of the former governors of Mississippi who I had the pleasure of working for always said do not let perfection be the enemy of good , and that's something as an A-type personality I really struggle with Like you were talking about that some yourself and something I've really had to let go through the years . You know , don't let perfect impede progress , and launching this new passion project of mine is something that I really am struggling with in that department , but reminded daily . You know small progress is still good progress .
Right . I think that's a great point and I struggle with that too and I think that generally that has served me well . Getting through school , developing a career , owning my own business , being a mom , juggling , being a single mom , juggling all that is required to be juggled , having parents that I was the caregiver for for many years , all of those things required some level and some degree of trying to be organized and trying to make it right . It's never obviously been perfect , but even you know throwing dinner parties , I've gotten to where if something goes wrong I can switch gears and it not be just okay , everything is ruined , kind of thing , and that that does take a lot because you do want to have that and I think you know for me it's been part of the growing up .
I grew up in New Orleans and went to Catholic school and wore a uniform until I was 18 years old and went to college . It was the first time I ever wore jeans to school and you know it's kind of why I dress in uniform . Still , I feel like I don't have your style where you can throw a bandana on or a scarf or this , that , and I'm so envious of that , but it's so unnatural to me . I would love to throw a scarf on every once in a while , or a big piece of jewelry , but it doesn't come naturally to me , so you know . One of the things about getting older , though , is to kind of ease up on the requirements in your life , because it's hard it on the requirements in your life Because it's hard .
It's hard doing that and just as unnatural as that comes to you . I feel completely unnatural wearing a business suit , right , and when I first started practicing law , I was at one of the largest regional firms , really , yeah , and you know a great opportunity right out of law school to work with a group like that . But it was very structured and business suits were required and that was very hard for me . So I would show my personality through crazy shoes . You know , you live and learn and I needed that . I needed that structure at that time to learn how to put my education to use and I had some great mentors there . But at the same time I knew it didn't fit my personality . I knew it wasn't a long-term thing for me . So in preparing for the podcast this morning , when I was getting dressed , you know oftentimes you say , well , who is Serena Flowers ? And we respond with Serena's a wife , serena's a mom , serena's a lawyer . That's a mom , serena's a lawyer . That's not who Serena is , that's what Serena is .
And so I was really trying to shift my thinking this morning to think about , really , who am I ? Well , that goes to your core values , I guess . And who am I ? I think I'm creative . I think I am spontaneous , but within responsible guides . You know to keep it in the trenches , but have fun , right ? Um , I think I am trustworthy . I keep a lot of secrets in my backpack for a lot of friends and they come to me and tell me those things because they know I don't share them with other people . I think that's one thing at reframing our own life that we have to start thinking about ourselves differently , not what our roles are , who are we Right ? So how would you respond to that ? As far as Sheila , not what is Sheila , but who ?
is Sheila Right ? Well , I think a lot of my identity and who I am comes from what I do . It just is very it is hard to separate it out , especially being a lawyer for 30 some odd years now . It's hard to not make that my identity . It is something I love to do , so I have found a career that really feeds me in different ways , but literally and figuratively , it's hard , it's draining , it's not always filling up my tank , and so when I begin to think about who am I or what am I or what I want to do and where I am in my life right now , a lot of it is about figuring out what drives me , what makes me feel fulfilled .
I read somewhere that when you get lost in what you're doing that's what your passion I can get lost . Polishing silver , I mean , as silly as that sounds , and you also like power washing . I do a lot of power washing . I like to organize organize my china . I like to fold napkins .
So I think the goal is to think about doing more of the things that make me feel good and less of what I don't want to do , and trying to figure out how to get through life with that . You can't always just be having fun all the time , but I think the whole getting to like who I am , I think that's part of what has driven me to really want to do this with you , because I think for so many years I really haven't thought about that , because I have been on autopilot . You know , when I'm a lawyer I want to be a really good lawyer , and when I'm a mom , of course I'm always a mom , but when I'm momming hard I want to be a good mom . You know I've been a really good daughter , I've been a really good friend , and those are the things that I like in my life now and say I did that , I did that well .
But you're not done doing those things .
No , no , no , no . I'm going to keep doing those things and hopefully do more of what makes me happy and more of what I want to do than I have to do .
And I think that's how we're in such a unique space right now , because there's this weirdness to having a calendar that's about to be far more open than we've ever been accustomed to , thinking into this next year with our girls going off to college . That's the first time I've ever had a real , just an individual adult time in my life , and what does that look like for me ? I don't know . How is that going to feel ? Am I going to be afraid to not have somebody depending on me all the time ? And my children too ? All of them none of them wanted to eat in the cafeteria , and so when the youngest graduated this year , I'd had a child in public school for 26 years in a row , and that means feeding somebody breakfast every morning , packing a lunch every day and then , of course , cooking dinner at night .
Because we always had family time at night , it was very important for me , with my children , to sit down and have dinner together at night . That was something that my mother ingrained in me and I wanted to carry that on with my children . And even if it's just frozen pizza , like it was two nights ago sitting in the little keeping area outside of the kitchen talking over frozen pizza . And it's funny because just before I put the frozen pizza in the oven , I was supposed to cook tacos that night . I just didn't feel like cooking and I'm thinking , oh , I'm so tired of having to cook for somebody else .
And then it hit me wow , in eight weeks I won't be doing this for the first time ever , and it made me sad at the same time , even though I've been looking forward to not having a slam full calendar where somebody else's needs control my calendar .
You know , that's just gonna be really weird for me and how to balance that . And and my work is a lot like that too as a government relations lawyer , I spend a number of months out of the year dealing with the Mississippi legislature and you're basically on call 24 hours a day , you know , seven days a week until session ends , and you don't have control over your calendar . And now , thinking about not doing that in the near future or in the next couple of years , that really gives me control of my calendar . I won't have clients or legislators demanding my time , I don't have children demanding my time , and it's exciting , but at the same time , like I said , weird , scary . You know how do I feel that Right , and will I feel . You know I'm a check off the box kind of person , and so , at the end of the day , if you don't have something , have you had a productive day ?
right , does it count ?
yeah , does it count and I think that's where you and I both are kind of at this place in life . How do we deal with that ? Because we are producers , we've been producers , we've , we've produced , you know , healthy , productive young people , our children . We've produced business through the years , produced healthy relationships with our family . And what will we be producing if we aren't doing these things ?
I had a very different middle adulthood than you did . You know , I did have an adult grown-up life without a child , until I was 42 . And I feel like I sort of got a lot of that out of my system because I was ready by that point to have a family of my own and have that experience of being a mom , and I was very intentional about that and maybe we'll talk about that in a future episode . It took a lot of shifting of my world at that point , but it took a lot of planning and obviously the best thing I ever did . But I feel like that is sort of the next shift for me and now it's that same sort of deliberate effort that I feel like we have to make . You know , it's what I want to do . I want to learn something new . You know I don't want to go back to some things that I used to like .
I learned Mahjong . It's all the rage around here and I don't like math and so I kept thinking I can't do bridge because I think there's math involved in that . But I went to a Mahjong class and I went to another class and I got a little group and we've been playing and it's really a lot of fun and and I see why people enjoy doing it and I thought well , I don't know if I can learn something new , but I made myself learn it , because sometimes it's hard to learn something new . You know that whole teaching old dogs new tricks is for real , so I think that's part of us . Even doing this and having these conversations of this is new for us to just stop , stop our regular day , our regular work day , to make time to carve out to do this , which is something that I feel like is gonna feed us what we're looking for .
I had a conversation yesterday actually with my physician and you know we'll get into some of the women's health issues down the road but she was asking me what do you do to feed yourself ? Right now ? Your life is so chaotic and you talk about , deal with anxiety you know high functioning , massive anxiety person but she said you've got to figure out ways to feed yourself that are not chaotic .
So the third segment that we wanted to have here in our podcast is called the Friends Table and it's where we hope to have some of these fabulous friends that we've been talking about and new friends and strangers who might become friends here to talk with us as
Life's Transitions and Reinvention
we move forward with the podcast . We've got a solid group of a good number of women here locally that every time we get together I feel so fed and we all do and it's such a good feeling that we all have when we get together and it never ends without us all saying we need to do this more often . And you know I think that just it shows how much we all crave that feeding . You know we all crave that connection and , like you explained earlier , I mean other than the fact that we all sort of found each other . I always say Tamara is our glue .
I hope she doesn't mind us mentioning her on this podcast , but you know she's our Kevin Bacon really and I'm so appreciative of her doing that . You know , almost 20 years ago . I suppose I've known some of our group for that long .
And it's the uniqueness of our group to me is , I would say we're all mostly A-type personalities Independent , successful in our own right , professional women . The majority of us are lawyers , but we've got some one-offs here and there with a few of the ladies . We're not all college buddies and we come from we're different races Most of us grew up in the South , but not everyone and very different family background situations . All of us with the exception of one , I believe , single moms , have gotten remarried , but I don't think anybody else in the group and so we've done life together . We've been the support system for one another when all changes or flat tires or whatever we call one another . Can you meet me to drop off my car ? You know a kid gets sick at school . You know doing Christmas , doing holidays together when we didn't have our children with us . We've been each other's family and it's just such a unique situation and , like you said , we want to share that with the world because we've been fed so much through this friend group .
You know supporting each other in the death of parents , having children get married , some of our girls becoming grandparents , and changing careers and now we really want to just connect and for me , getting older and having my child go off to school , losing my parent a year and a half ago and wanting to transition into a different sort of work world and how I handle that makes my friends , who are my family , all the more important . I've got friends who I have been friends with for 50 years that are still best friends of mine and they are people I count on all the time and we make time to see each other . We've all got friends sort of in different places in our lives and I think that we've all had different seasons in our life and that is really what makes a good friend , because they understand your season in your life . You know there have been with my oldest friends when they were getting married and having kids and things like that .
I had gotten divorced and was really into my career and traveling the world and was not really paying attention to what was going on in their lives . I mean , I knew that they had kids , obviously , and we tried to make time even then to see each other . We all sort of scattered around the country , but I think that it took me becoming a mom for us to have a different kind of relationship . Oh , yeah , yeah .
It just changed . It shifts in life , because then you're able to connect about that , oh yeah , oh yeah . Yeah , it just changed . It shifts in life , because then you're able to connect about that , oh yeah .
Oh , yeah , for sure , yeah , and I know when one of my best friends , when she lost her father that was the first parent that I had had as a grown up who I knew and cared about and to pass away and seeing her make that transition . So we've had to go through those big things and navigating those just makes you closer , you know . It just makes you more more deeply love people because you see what they've been through and how they've handled it and you want to be there . You really genuinely want to be there for them and experience it with them , and I think that's kind of where our friend group is evolving is we really want to be there for each other and experience this .
Even though we can't all get together in one big room , the devotion to the concept of our friendship is certainly there . I think that that's an important part right now in our lives to make sure that we continue to cultivate that going forward . Because you know , the older you get get the harder it is to make new friends . Yeah , and and the other ones are are going to be around more hopefully and they all start shifting and we'll all have more time to spend together and we've talked about having our little house community yeah , oh yeah , we're going to build a compound one day .
I don't want to be in the little house , I'd like to be in the main house , but I'm happy for anyone to have a little house .
It's gonna be a tent . I'll be happy in a tent .
I don't know where we'll have it . Tamara wants it on a beach somewhere . I think Laverne wanted it on a vineyard somewhere , but I'm good wherever it doesn't really matter .
But I don't want the little house , I want it on a farm somewhere . I like a farm idea .
I think that would be fun , I think one of the things that I think about doing that I don't really know that I understood how much I would enjoy it because I never really had time to do it . I grew up in New Orleans , which is urban . We did not have land to grow things , no farm animals that kind of stuff Very different environment than what you grew up in . Yet the older I've gotten , the more I love to see things grow in the ground and you know I've got like a little herb garden and it just impresses me so much that I can keep this thing alive and grow things . Well , we've kept children alive , that's true .
I think my mom told me one time there was a something that showed you were on the path of sort of being a grown-up and being able to take care of yourself . You had to keep a plant alive , then you had to keep a pet alive , and then you could try keeping a child , and then you really made it . So I think I've done those things in that order . But working with things in the ground and just it's very therapeutic , it's very it's fulfilling in a way . I mean I feel like I've come to this party late because I have really never had the opportunity or the time to care about it and I don't have much of it at my disposal right now . But you said having a farm or a little house community on a farm . I mean I would love to have that like . I would love to be able to go out and water my garden every day and pick from the earth so that's what I do every morning when I drink my coffee .
I go out and deadhead my plants , I pull the yellow leaves or the brown leaves and talk to them , and that's how I start my morning every morning , and you know it's . It's funny too , talking about the way that we grew up , because I did grow up in a rural area , kosciuszko , mississippi , where our most famous , I guess , citizen is , oprah Winfrey was born there and my grandmother is still living . She's 90 , she'll be 98 in August . Oh , you're so lucky and she lives on the farm that my grandfather's great-great-grandfather got in 1848 through when the government gave you know , parts , parts of land , and so she still lives there .
And I can remember as a kid this massive acres and acres and acres of garden that we had to , in the summer , every morning , go pull peas , go pull corn , pick okra , and then we would shell the peas and shuck the corn . And I could not wait to not live in an area like that , and so I moved to the suburbs . I wanted my children to grow up on a street where there were children right next to them . They could walk next door to have a friend over to play , because it was an ordeal to get somebody out to my house to come play . And now I see my kids doing just the opposite of that . I wanted the opposite of how I grew up .
And now both of my older children the oldest just turned 29 yesterday and graduated from vet school recently and is about to start her career . And then my son , the one that recently got engaged both have bought land and they don't want to live in a neighborhood , in a suburb . And it's just funny how life , you know , you run from what you experienced and want something completely different . And now I want to go back to the farm . Yeah , you know , I don't want to be in the suburbs anymore . I want a more simple life and yeah , so that's something that I want to explore and um , over the next couple of years , you know , and getting kids out of the house , you don't have to live in the school district anymore . Right , you know you don't have to be where everything is convenient to run to ball practice , to the play at the school . You know I have that liberty now to go back to the country if that's what I want to do .
It's interesting that there's a shift in life and you really do have to sort of go with the shift , because kids are going to grow up , parents are going to pass away , work is going to change . These kinds of things are going to pass away . Work is going to change . These kinds of things are going to happen . You kind of have to be able to shift with that , all the while learning about what it is you want to do during those shifting times .
And so the thought of now , when ellie goes away , like I don't have to cook dinner anymore . Now I like to cook , so I'm sure that I still will do that on occasion , but I don't have to have a bunch of different food in the house to have dinner ready . I don't have to think about a creative meal for the evening or plan the grocery , plan a grocery list . That's going to be a real physical change . I don't have to be home anymore to take care of this person and she is going to be off taking care of herself , which is a great thing . I'm excited about that for her and , like you said , it's it's a little scary , like a little bit of a deep breath moment of thinking about that , but on the other hand , it's kind of exciting and liberating . And liberating and just yeah , the thought of like not having to take care of someone else every single day is sort of nice .
So we talked about having a segment on our podcast , serena , that was a little bit more extemporaneous , where we talked about things that pair well with other things , and I think this is a good opportunity to explore and describe why we picked the name pairs well with dot dot dot for our podcast title . We were trying to think of something that described who we are , where we are , what we want to talk about , and to me , coming up with pairs well with has some different play to it . So obviously we're a pair , um , and we pair well together and we pair well together , um , and pairs well with .
You know our situation in life where , hopefully , we both have a little bit more time to focus on things like this Pair well together . That's right , and I'm glad that we came up with that name and I hope everybody enjoys it as much as we have .
Well , I have a little challenge there for you .
Okay , okay .
What if I throw out a word and you have to respond , what it pairs well with . The first word that comes to my mind is swimming pool Tanning . I say we could get into the health benefits of vitamin D , I know , in the sunshine for tanning , but doing it responsibly with sunscreen , that's right . That's right , that's a topic that we could discuss , that's true , all right . So you right , that's a topic that we could discuss , that's true , all right . So you give me one Travel , ooh adventure . Good , you know . Good , that's kind of the same thing maybe .
But Well , sometimes travel can be for work , or sometimes travel could be for not fun things . You always seem to have an adventure , though .
I feel like your life's a little bit of an adventure . It's definitely unscripted every day unscripted . Okay , so pairs well with white after labor day nothing , that's the southern coming out of both of us right there right I mean , I don't really know anybody who would wear white shoes after labor day , do you I ? Wear white boots after labor they're all their ec-white . They're ecru , they're ecru , yes , yes .
I mean , I know people wear white jeans after Labor Day nowadays and there's winter , white , obviously Winter white is one of my colors .
I don't do stark white , but I like winter white .
I do too . I do too . How about a martini ? Beautiful glasses , very nice .
And although I would love to be having a martini right now , we're having my homemade Gatorade . We are , which is one of my crazy creations . We're actually having some electrolytes Pink Himalayan salt . We've got a fabulous balsamic raspberry white vinegar with some lemon juice water and a little lemon balm from my little herb garden out there . It's really delicious . So J olive is a great little shop around here .
They've got great olive oils and different vinegars well , I hate to ruin everyone's thought that we're having martinis in the middle of the day , but we're actually hydrating , yes , which I have figured out I need to do more of . Apparently it's very good , yeah , yeah , all right , is my turn of yours ? It's Okay . How about your living room , which is amazing ? Pairs well with controlled chaos . Yeah , it looks great . Serena did all of this . Everyone , to the extent you can see it , it's really amazing looking .
My very eclectic collection of things through my life , which is something I'm exploring . It's part of my passion , this transition period in life , so we'll get into some more of that later . All right , how about pairs well , with diamond earrings Anything ? Yes , sheila has the most incredible pair of diamond earrings that all of the girlfriends covet , and that is her signature . She wears her diamond earrings .
I do Every day . I love them too .
And I think they go with everything , and it's just easy , timeless , classic , yeah . Beautiful pairs well with anything . Yeah , and yours do too . They're beautiful . Wow . I usually add something funky with mine how about ?
books pairs well with books decorating .
Oh good , I should read more , but I just decorate with a lot .
I was looking around , like you do have a lot of books around here , and old . I love old books . Yeah , I love a book . I love to hold a book . I love to read . What are you reading right now for pleasure ? Well , I always have a couple of books going on . I actually just finished Brooke Shields' book , which was really good .
The Power of Female Friendships
It's called Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old , so she's talking . She's in my age range our age range , I guess but she talks a lot in her book about being an aging actress . I really have enjoyed it . I don't have any great novels that I'm reading right now . Do you have anything going on right now ?
I have a book that I discovered in 2012 called Life of the Beloved by Henry Nowen , that I discovered in 2012 , called Life of the Beloved by Henry Nowen , who was a Christian author , but very forward thinking , very progressive , and it really was a turning point in my life and how I thought about myself , dealing with anxiety and depression like I have through the years .
I had a severe case of postpartum depression after my third child and I discovered this book at a very hard time in my life and that was my let them and Life of the Beloved and how we are to think of ourselves as a beloved child of God , because that's exactly what we are and it just changed my life . I reread it every year and I've shared it with a number of people . I have a friend that's going through some hard times right now and I said I've gifted that book so many times . It's a very short , thin book , an easy read , but it was . It was my let them book . Now I love the let them book , but learning about the life of the beloved and how to , how to love myself as a beloved child of God is something that that's when I felt that freedom and I started to live authentically after that and just be who I was and not care .
Well , it's amazing how someone you don't know and who is not in even your stratosphere can put something out into the world and it'd be something that touches you so deeply . Yeah , and I I think we don't understand the impact sometimes that things like that can have on other people words that you can say or actions you can take . It doesn't just necessarily impact that moment or that person , but that person might tell a story about something you did for them and you know that whole pass it along thing . When I was going through a real transitional time in my life , my early 30s , I read A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson and it was sort of like you said .
It was just a light bulb moment at that time that somebody wrote something that was she's actually Jewish , she's not Christian , but she wrote about Jesus and his story as a divine person .
She didn't necessarily think that he was the son of God , but you know she had her own take on that , but his teachings were really the basis of the book and the whole concept is , if it's not love , it's really nothing , because that's really what we're here to do , and so the fear-based lifestyle that we have , like I'm not going to have enough , people aren't going to like me enough , or I'm not going to do enough , it's not enough .
You know I have to be more than , or if they have it I'm not going to get it , kind of thing . It was really transformational in that it helped me see , everybody can have everything and you know , just because they have more money than me , you know right now or they have a new car and I don't , or they've got a boyfriend and I don't , or whatever it might be , it doesn't mean that my life is lacking and so you have to celebrate them . And I feel like it made me more content with my world , because I feel like in my early 30s , like so many people do , you're just grabbing for things . You know you want the best job and the most money and the biggest house and the car and this and all the stuff , and you feel like you're seeing other people kind of get those things and you're wondering when is my life going to start ?
You know , it's kind of sitting back and waiting for it and you can easily build resentment and I do think that a lot of people have problems making friends as adults because they're being jealous of what other people have or they're feel like . That book helped me see , as an adult , there's no lack , and I remember that time , of course , I was young and single and thinking about having kids . She had said you know , with children you need to raise them to say you are the most wonderful , beautiful , smartest kid in the whole world . And guess what ? So is everybody else . You know , and I love that and I did raise my child like that . You know to say you're great and you are the biggest star in the sky . And so is everybody else .
You know , and I do feel like , especially with my child , she is a proper upper of people , like she wants people to succeed and she wants people to do well . And you know I don't know if it came from that or other things she's experienced in life she can tend to be an introvert sometimes but she really likes other people's success . Such a great characteristic .
It is a great character Of a human and obviously you know you've nurtured that in her right .
I mean , I'm proud of her for that and sometimes I have to tell her you know , you need to applaud yourself too , like sometimes you have to toot your own horn too . So I hope I didn't tamper that part down too much , because I was raised in a world and with family that we didn't brag about anything and you never talked about money and you never talked about money and you never talked about stuff that you had . Everybody kept things close to the vest . I think that was just the life too . People didn't share like they do now on social media . And sometimes now I'll see social media and see the things that people are putting out there and I'll think , wow , that is a lot to put out there into the world .
You know , and I can see why people become very jealous of other people and try to tear people down . I think that's it in society now . These people who were influencers and celebrities and politicians . They get so built up because we all want to build people up , but then there's this whole segment of population just wants to tear them down . It's almost like I don't know if it's worth it to get built up just to be torn down . You've got to have some thick skin on that , but it is nice to learn in life that everything's available to everybody .
There's enough to go around .
There's enough to go around absolutely , and it may not be your time to get on the boat . Be your time to get on the boat , but the boat will come if it's supposed to come . Yeah , it might not be a boat that you're supposed to get on , it might be a plane , yeah , and I think I mean I know you've raised your kids and they're all doing great things and I'm sure you have to share that kind of thing with them , like it's not . You know , you have to see them through failure and that's the hardest thing and seeing your kids struggle and trying to , but seeing their .
You know , and that was one thing that you know , coming full circle , with Carter graduating school recently , from the time that she could talk , literally from the time that she could talk , that's all she said she wanted to do , dr Dog .
I mean , literally , we're outside of mom and dad . I think that was her first sentence , dr Dog . And she applied to vet school when she , when she graduated , and did not get accepted , she got waitlisted . But instead of giving up on that dream , she said , okay , well , what do I do ? And she went and met with the Dean and they said you know , you have an incredible background , you've got all these hours , your interview was great , but your GPA stinks . So she went and got a master's degree in animal and dairy science and had a 4.0 and reapplied , and that was why it was such a you know , as a mom , that was one of those moments , too , when she graduated a few weeks ago . Okay , we did something right with this one . She didn't give up on her dream , she doubled down , she , she took the hard road and and it's paying off for now .
So I think that resilience is not something you can teach . They have to just fall down and get scabs and get up and let it heal . And , yeah , like we all did , you know it's . It's really hard to see it happening and I think back on things my mom had to go through raising my brother and me as a single mom and just the the struggles and then being able to see us grow up and have kids . It's just got to be so fulfilling to get to that point too when you're seeing your kid's parent . Hopefully it's fulfilling and not a nightmare . But I look forward to seeing that because I'm starting to see sparks with my daughter of maturity .
That sometimes just takes me back . I think , wow , okay , okay , I guess I did something right and she's learned . Even though it didn't look like she was paying attention , she was . And I remember all the parenting books and advice I would get from other people . They would say you know they're watching you and you're modeling for them . And I would say I can promise you she is not modeling after me . If you go back , walk in her bedroom , she's not modeling after me . Um , but I'm starting to see sparks now and I find that to be really fulfilling and exciting . Like you mentioned , having Carter now you know she's going to be a professional and she's a doctor and she's going to go to work every day , and what that's going to mean to your relationship is going to be different .
Yeah , it is , but in a great way , yeah , like in a really fun , fulfilling way for you . I mean just to be able to say , to say , okay , you know , I not only kept her alive , but here she is , and I think it's also a relief too . It's got to be a relief to you to get all three of your kids to where they are , because it's not been easy . You know , I've known you since they were babies . I mean , there's nobody who raises one kid or ten kids that could say it's easy , it's not . And I don't care how much help you have and how great the kids are , it's still hard , it's still hard and you know the mom guilt thing that so many people struggle with .
I mean me the other night and feeling guilty because I was like I don't want to cook for her , I don't want to cook for her , and then the light bulb went off . She's only going to be here eight more weeks and then I'm not going to have anybody to cook for right , so let's throw a frozen pizza in there , sit down and have our dinner time together .
You know , and and we did , but that was , as a young professional mom , something I really
What "Pairs Well With..."?
struggled with because in the area where my children grew up and went to school , there weren't a lot of working moms and there were a lot of moms at the school all the time doing all the things and that just is not my personality . But it made me feel inferior because I was going to a big law firm and billing time all day while somebody else was at the school with my children cutting out the valentine's cards or whatever , and that was something that I had to get over . And you know , moms are built different . I think I was built to be a mom of adults . I didn't particularly enjoy the childhood years and there are some women that they lose their identity when their kids get older because that's all they ever did . And again , it's a transition period in life .
I love having adult children and again , it's a transition period in life . I love having adult children . I love hanging out and having a glass of wine with my kids when we're not the youngest but the older two , when we're out here grilling and them telling me stories of things that they did in middle school or even high school that I've not heard of until just now .
And I'm like , oh my God , I can't believe y'all did that to me , you know , or I didn't know about that , but it's funny . Now , you know , and I just , I love having adult children , but I'm not going to say I stunk as a little kid mom but it was not my best time . But there's room in the world for all moms and I'm so thankful that there were moms that were at the school all the time to do those things . You know I sign up . You know , send the 12 pack of water . That was my contribution .
I said earlier , I was an older mom and so I felt like it was gonna be my one shot and I wanted to do a lot of things . My mom was not able to ever be at school . She did some great like . She would throw great birthday parties for me , and she and both my grandmothers were real entertainers all of them well you did it naturally books and entertainers and my mom would make all the girls corsages and little happies and things like that , always tried to make it special .
But she worked every day and she was not one of the homeroom moms ever or bring a cupcake kind of person or Girl Scout troop leader or whatever . So it was something I really wanted to do when my daughter was growing up and so I was at school all the time and I was the Girl Scout troop leader and it wasn't easy to make that time but I did it and I loved it and it was great and it was fun . I made some great friendships and I got to know the girls and you know hopefully they'll remember that that like I remember my Girl Scout troop leader all these many years later and I think Ellie enjoyed having me be able to do that . But I also knew at that time that 10 years before that I couldn't have done it . I was all over the country . So it was a time in my life where I was able to have a little bit more control over my career to allow me to do that .
But I never thought badly of the other moms . I mean , I'm sure there's a segment of moms that are judgy and want to picket what other people are doing . But I found once I became a mom it was a club that was very welcoming and real and wanting to say , look , I give my kids chicken nuggets from this bag four nights a week and they are fine , they are healthy and they are doing just fine . And because you read all the things , you have organic , this , you have to do this and you have to do this . And all of a sudden you're like I just , I really can't , I just can't .
I love the saying it takes all kinds of kinds yes , it takes one of my favorite sayings . It takes all kinds of kind , absolutely , and that's another thing that's so beautiful about our friendship group yeah you know , it's all different shapes , sizes , colors , backgrounds .
You know , I think you need to figure out what pairs well with our next episode and for for today .
This is a new gig for us . We've not done anything like this before , so we are self-sponsored today .
That's right .
The consultants at Jackson Lobbying Firm and the Green Butterfly .
Project that's launching . Get that in for sure .
A vintage clothing store .
I'm excited to see all that open up , like the butterfly wings that you have .
Well , we found our permanent home last week . We're going to have a storefront here , so this is something that we can talk about later when we talk about truly reinventing yourself , because I'm kind of in the middle of that right now , I know , and your firm , beauget , and Associates that right now I know and your firm bogey associates .
I think our podcast will pair well with some other folks that are out there who might hear us and say , hey , that sounds like something I'm going through too , and maybe they can join us on this journey as we move forward to more episodes in the future . Sounds great , okay ,
Life-Changing Inspirations
all right , y'all take care , join us next time .
The content provided on Pairs Well With is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional legal advice . Listening to this podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship . For any legal matters , listeners should consult a qualified attorney licensed in their jurisdiction .
