One of these in the afterlife (Shaun Diston, Lauren Knutti)

On this week's episode, Rekha and Waleed learn about love and death alongside mythical beings, Steve the Dragon and Cupid. You're just gonna love THESE guests.

Hosts:
Rekha Shankar
Waleed Mansour

Guests:
Shaun Diston as Steve the Dragon
Lauren Knutti as Cupid
 
Edited by Waleed Mansour

Full episodes available to watch on Youtube 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to another video viewing on public access television.

SPEAKER_05 0:04

We hope you enjoy today's programming.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hi, I'm Reka Shunker.

SPEAKER_05 0:09

And I'm Ali Mansoor, and we're dead.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome to We're Dead, the afterlife's number one cable access show.

SPEAKER_05 0:18

That's right. We get a chance to talk to dead people and get to know them better and introduce them to you. Uh Reka, how's it going?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

It's going really well. Really? I've really tried to dive into like who's Reka, you know? What is she like? What does she want? Trying to raise my expectations and my relationships and things like that.

SPEAKER_05 0:37

Yeah, and who would know better than you? Except except not.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Who would know better than me at one?

SPEAKER_05 0:43

About who Reka is. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Do you know?

SPEAKER_05 0:46

No.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

This is what I'm practicing.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

Yes, exactly. I feel like it should be you. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Right. It is, right?

SPEAKER_05 0:53

I yes. I'm gonna say definitively, yes, you know yourself better than anybody else. Exactly. And who is Reka?

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Ex Sorry. Every time you pose it, it feels like you know a secret answer that I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

No, I'm saying tell the folks who Ray is. Who are you learning? What are you learning about yourself?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yes. Okay. So I learned that I am someone who is really patient. I am really, really patient. Okay. I'm really generous. I'm really sounds like you don't agree with these first two assessments.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

Sorry. Uh just interesting. Just interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Why is that interesting?

SPEAKER_05 1:26

Uh how do you know that you're generous? What have you done? And not that I'm doubting you, just to give a give the folks an example.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Okay. Well, I'm constantly sort of donating my time to people like you. Just like without even being asked. I am listening to you. I don't even need much cajoling. Yeah. You call me with your your problems and things like that, and I give you my time.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

Well, it was one of the work worst weeks of my life. So I'm sorry about that. And or of my dad.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I didn't even ask you to say sorry. So, like, do you see what I mean? The generosity.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

You know? I guess I'm I guess I'm just not seeing the patience, maybe is what then you're not looking at me right now. Okay. And I'm not looking at you, you're right now. Okay. So I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

My patience is just so strong.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Because patience is like, to me, patience is a measure of how I love that. Patience is a measure of how little you're about to freak the fuck out, right? Yes. There's so many times where I want to freak the fuck out at let's say you, for example.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

Really? And I don't do it. So I when you don't, when you're actively not freaking out at me, I should be grateful.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

I should be thanking.

SPEAKER_05 2:40

I should be thanking.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

You should be grateful. This is the kind of energy I'm sort of realizing in myself. It's like, wow, thank you, Reka. You have really shown yourself to be the bigger person for not ripping Walid a new one right now.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

Okay. Well, I guess I'll say it because I guess I haven't said it before, but thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for another one.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

And I didn't even ask for that. I'm very generous. I don't expect things in return.

SPEAKER_05 3:04

I guess you didn't ask it, but it was okay. Yeah. Thank you. I'll thank you again.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

No problem. See?

SPEAKER_05 3:11

And also, I I I am sorry about calling you and freaking out. It was just it was it's been rough. Yeah. Highs and lows.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Yeah, tell me about it.

SPEAKER_05 3:20

Well, as you know, I've been trying to become uh a professional kicker in the afterlife football league. Um that's been like a new goal of mine. And um goal. And I went down to Earth to watch a practice, and there were some I went down to watch a practice to just try and get some insp inspiration from some of the kickers that are down there, and I just there were I I feel like when I called you, I was in a haze and I couldn't explain it well. But basically there were a bunch of afterlife bullies that were down there watching football, which like annoys me that they're that's the stereotype that people who watch football are bullies, that's not the that's not the case. But they tried to push me into a baby, they tried to push me into a baby and reset my life, which I didn't care for.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Because was it a it was it even a baby that had a nice life or is it baby? No, it was clearly a miserable baby.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

The baby was at a NFL football practice, like that's not where a baby should be, right? Okay, so it would have been a horrible life. And I went down there and I was like, they could tell I was watching the kicker. Yeah, and I was like, I want to be the kicker. And they were like making fun of me because they're like, kickers, not that's not even part of the kids.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Kickers don't even get CTE.

SPEAKER_05 4:32

Yeah, that's right. That's not even they if you want to play football, you gotta get CTE. And I was like, I don't want it, okay. And I want to be a kicker, they're graceful, and they kept trying to push me into a baby. It was horrible.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

This is one thing Welena and I agree on. You cannot keep trying to push people into a baby. Babies, for the most part, don't have great lives or great parents. No, and to force somebody to be pushed into a baby and then re-li relive their own life, but now from the point of view of that baby that has a horrible life with parents who are messy and who drop it off at NFL professional NFL football drop them off.

SPEAKER_05 5:06

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

And they dropped them off and leave. Put them in a bleacher. A bleacher is mostly negative space, it's mostly holes. That's not a good life.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

But I was saved actually.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Who saved you?

SPEAKER_05 5:19

Well, it was, you know, obviously I was there trying to learn, and I I've been hanging out with some like supportive folks who are hanging out with my family. Well, it's not your you've you've expressly said it's not it can't be my family if they're supportive. It is the family of the shunkers that go back generations and generations, but apparently it's not Reka's family because they're too supportive and they love me too much.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

You won't show me a picture. If we all have hooded eyes, it might be my family, but the everything you describe personality-wise does not lead me to believe it's my family.

SPEAKER_05 5:44

Okay, well, they were down there supporting me, this non-Reka shunkers family, shunker family. Uh, and one of them saved me. That they I was getting pushed, I was getting pushed, I was falling, like my fingers were in the baby's face, like in through the nose. And uh they they she like pushed me out of the way and she saved me, and it was like it was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Did she become a baby?

SPEAKER_05 6:08

No, no, no, no, no. She didn't become a baby, thank God. Yeah, thank god she was a big thing. No, I'm so happy she didn't become a baby because we were like we went and we yeah, we like hung out after, which was a blast too.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

I now I know you can't be talking about my family. You hung out and it was a blast.

SPEAKER_05 6:26

Yes. Well, your family was still down there like partying. They were like with the tailgators, which is a crazy thing that happens at NFL football practices. But no, no, me and like this specific uh Rodhika, what's your name? Um me and her like hung out after you made up and I was just like pulling the name of like a restaurant or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

As a restaurant.

SPEAKER_05 6:44

I don't think of it as a restaurant, I think of this person that saved my death.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Wow, okay. Well, Rodhika, please call in and tell me if you're related to me because it doesn't sound like it. You save someone, you're supposed to I mean Do you want me to ask her?

SPEAKER_05 6:58

We are we we're going out tomorrow night, actually.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

If you date one of my ancestors, does that make you related to me?

SPEAKER_05 7:07

I'm not gonna date her.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

But do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 7:10

Yeah, I do know what you mean. Like if I marry her, am I now your step-step step grandpa? Yeah. Or step grandpa grandpa grandpa.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

You would repeat grandpa? What? Wouldn't it be like step great grandpa?

SPEAKER_04 7:28

That's right. I forgot the word great.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

You know what? You might be right. I actually hold on. I'm thinking back. Yeah, maybe it's not you know, your great-great-great-great-great grandfather, your colloco-it's like your great-grandpa, grandpa, grandpa, you're colour-that's right.

SPEAKER_05 7:45

That's right, that's right. That'll be me. Well, but I but I don't, I mean, like, you know, obviously I was married back on earth and I've had a lot of sex since I've been up here, but I'm not having sex anymore. But I'm just even if I had a crush on Radhika, I'm not gonna like pursue it just because she saved my death and like I fell into her arms and it was like special or whatever. Like, you know, I'm not pursuing a love life right now. We've talked about this, Rika.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

And hallelujah, you're not pursuing a love life. Lucky, lucky Rodica. Good god. Uh if you guys start dating, I'm going to throw up.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

We're seeing a movie. That's a date. That's not a date.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

That's literally a date.

SPEAKER_05 8:30

It's not a date. What are you seeing? What are we seeing? We're seeing about a boy.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

That is so romantic. That's a Hugh Grant movie.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

That's romantic. It's about a boy. It's about a boy.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

But it's one of those movies where a boy sorry, where a man acts like a boy.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

You're what? That's what that movie is?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

It's about a man who acts like a boy. No, I think it's about a boy. And then everyone's mad at him because they're like, you need to behave like a man, right?

SPEAKER_05 8:54

I don't think so. You're thinking Or is he babysitting a boy? Yeah, I think it's that one. You're thinking of like big or something. About a boy.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

No, no, no. But doesn't he?

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

You are classically misunderstanding me on purpose. You're being willfully obtuse. Okay. Isn't it that he it's like ironic that he has to take care of a boy because he himself behaves not like a boy like in big where he's literally like licking lollipops and stuff. He's just immature.

SPEAKER_05 9:22

And you that's what you think big is, is he's acting like a tiny little three-year-old who has a twirly hat.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Big specifically is a little boy who's trying to act like a man.

SPEAKER_05 9:31

He gets turned into a man.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

He gets turned into a man.

SPEAKER_05 9:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

A big man.

SPEAKER_05 9:36

And you think about a boy. So you're saying about a boy is a guy has to babysit a kid, but the guy acts like a little kid.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

The guy is immature. Immature. Like he's like a hound dog, you know? He's like, he's like prowling around.

SPEAKER_05 9:48

Those are different things to me. Being a hound dog and being acting like a little boy.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

You are a boy. I what I'm saying, like he he's immature. He's immature. He's like a 20-year-old behaviorally.

SPEAKER_05 9:59

Well, I'll let you know when I go see it with Radica and disgusting. What? Sit where you don't know her?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Where is she?

SPEAKER_05 10:05

Apparently, not where are our seats? Yeah, do you that corner?

unknown 10:09

That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

They were the only ones available.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

It's like the pregnancy corner of a movie theater.

SPEAKER_05 10:14

Pregnancy corner. Oh, the corner in which people pregnatize movies.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

They pregnantize each other in that corner because nobody's looking and nobody wants to sit against that nasty wall where everyone's coughing on it.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

No, I don't think that's what's gonna happen. Because also nobody's ever got pregnatized in heaven, to my knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Yes, you only get bloated in heaven, but I am not willing to take the risk. Do not be related to me, Waleed. That is a humble request or really demand.

SPEAKER_07 10:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Well I think I've been so generous with you. I have not tried to be related to you for a while. Thank you, Reka. Thank you, Reka. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 10:47

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

See how generous I'm thanking you.

SPEAKER_05 10:50

Thank you, Reka.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Okay. I feel so sick.

SPEAKER_05 10:59

Should we just move on?

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Yeah, I need to move on.

SPEAKER_05 11:01

Okay, great. Uh, we have an incredible guest on the show. I personally have never met one of these before. Please welcome to the show, a dragon.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Steve, right?

SPEAKER_05 11:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

I'm sorry, you said one of these.

unknown 11:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

Uh wanna. I have never I you know what I I've never met a dragon. I guess you've never met a dragon. It's fine in your limited worldview. I'm one of these.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

I'm so scared.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Can we take this back? I feel awful.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

No, you know what? We have to leave it in. I'm gonna demand that we leave it in.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Okay, and I'm generous, so I will I will say yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

And I know that I've immediately come out in a sort of aggro way, but I'm here to say that dragons are chill.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Really?

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

See, they're chill. This is why I love our show. Yes. Because you get all of these guests who have some sort of public.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

These guests?

unknown 11:49

God.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

Is these bad?

SPEAKER_01 11:54

I said like a very neutral thing, which is guests.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

It's just like I it's just the way, it's not the word in particular. It's just the sort of the.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I'm hitting the TH too hard. It's like a hard T.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

These guests. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 12:09

We'll avoid the types of Bs.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

These guests.

SPEAKER_05 12:11

When you have guests, when we have guests on the show.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

When we have guests on the show, I find it so helpful to hear from their mouth.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

From I'm gonna let that one go. Because to be honest, when we're talking about their mouths, I do have a very specific mouth, so I do think it's fine to say their mouths.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Okay, I appreciate that. From hearing from mouths that what the real story is.

SPEAKER_05 12:38

Yes, yes. And being chill, unfortunately, uh is not the connotation with dragons. No, yes. Do you know why that might be?

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Well, I mean, look, I'm I'm a I look at my face. Okay. I might look scary.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

No. Do you guys think I look scary?

SPEAKER_01 12:56

I mean, you look bumpy. Do you know what tryptophobia is?

SPEAKER_03 13:00

It is the fear of tiny holes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're probably feeling it pretty hard right now. There's definitely something of tiny holes?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

There's definitely something activating in me.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

What else is included in that spot? Well, it's not sponges for sure.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

I mean, it depends on the irregular holes and bumps.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

Like cartoon Swiss cheese.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Yeah, that one is okay for me. When I think of like, like I've never been able to look at a picture of a Suriname toad. Do you know what those are? No. Those are frogs or toads that have holes in their back for their babies to hide in.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

Oh, I've seen that.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

And that actually physically huge itch. That's right here. Truly getting sick on all sides.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Totally get it. Hey.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

You know, yeah. Some people don't like calls from Steve.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

I don't there's no way I can admit that. I have a sort of sunken eye situation. Yeah, there's no way I could admit something like that.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

Okay, great, great, great. It's fine. It's fine. Um, look, uh I think that depictions of these types of people. I'm so sorry. Dragons like myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:07

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Um, you know, they they tend to be very violent. We're breathing fire. Yeah. We're scary. We're we're much bigger than we actually are. I'm just normally human.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

You you and I are the same size? Like a normal guy.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

Yeah. Just a normal guy. I just I'm a just happen to be a dragon. Yeah. Now, is that the what is the range generally of dragons? Oh, it's a pretty big range. Oh, it is a big range. Okay. I mean, the longer we live, the bigger we get. And um it's kind of like uh goldfish, where if there's nothing restricting my growth, I'll just continue to grow.

SPEAKER_05 14:35

And is that like literal space or is it like an emotional thing?

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Oh, it could be both. Okay, it could be both. Um on Earth, of course, I was 600 feet long. 600 feet long? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But here, you know, I decided to, because I can, you know, assume my own form, as we all know, in the afterlife. That's incredible. So I've decided to just be human-sized just for just to get past some of the stereotypes.

SPEAKER_05 15:01

Where on earth were you located?

SPEAKER_03 15:02

Um England. England.

SPEAKER_05 15:05

Yeah.

unknown 15:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

So Harry Potter got some stuff right.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

There's some look, I'm always saying that. You're always kind of saying that Harry Potter got some stuff right. And um I remember they got that right again. I remember when I remember when I was reading the Harry Potter books um during the uh sort of afterlife pandemic that we had. Yeah. So I was so happy to be listening to the audiobooks with the um incredible reader. And um then all this stuff came out about um JK Radio. Juck Rowling. Yeah. Um, and I thought, you know what? I want to try to separate the art from the artist. Yeah. And then I started to play the book, and it was immediately a scene about everyone laughing at a teacher for dressing up like a woman. Oh no. And I thought, I forgot about that scene. That's a scene in the book? Yeah, it was some some some weird sort of scene.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

It's a yeah, it's definitely some sort of weird scene. It's I think it's like the second scene in the first book.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

It might be something like that, yeah. But they get that right. But they get a lot of things right. They get a lot of things right. Um, here's what I want to say. Harry Potter's not my biggest problem, obviously. I mean, they have bigger problems with that franchise. Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_05 16:20

How what is their interpretation of dragons?

SPEAKER_03 16:21

How does that um you know, we're dragons, we're breathing fire, flying around, flying around, big, we're magical, big and small. They actually have small ones too. Yeah, that's kind of that all makes sense to me. You know, not right. We're not a monolith. Um, but stuff like Game of Thrones, stuff like How to Train Your Dragon. Oh, these are bad examples. How to train your dragon, I would say, is sort of a minstrel show.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I mean, imagine if there was a show called like how to train your Indian. How to like is it is Dragon a race, you know, or like how to train your human.

SPEAKER_05 16:55

Yeah, very possessive.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

It would be very uh it's just I can't even watch something like that. Toothless in our world is a is a slur. So to have named this dragon toothless, it's also got like the big cartoony eyes, so cartoony, like a precious moments figurine. I I'm I'm kind of against all that kind of stuff. We're way more chill. I mean, look, they're kind of chilling how to train your dragon, but uh what makes you chill? What chills you out?

SPEAKER_06 17:22

Laying in my cave, lay in your cave, yeah, curl it up, pile gold. Love a pile of gold. You do like a pile of gold. So they got that right.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

It's fun. I mean, it's like look, it you know how on like a Sunday it could be raining or something, you might want to put on a blanket and watch like a comfort movie. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

What's your comfort movie, Steve?

SPEAKER_03 17:39

My comfort movie is um it's actually not a movie, it's laying in my cave with a pile of gold.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Wow. Honestly, that is it's so powerful for your favorite movie to just be your life.

SPEAKER_05 17:50

It's just not a movie. That's wonderful. It's not moving.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

That is that is a chill gift.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

If I had a comfort watch, it's probably a movie drive.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

The movie drive. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

Some people stress, some people get stressed with that movie. Yeah. For me, I just the music of it. You know what's interesting?

SPEAKER_05 18:04

There are some things that stress that stress a lot of people out and it chills me out. Like I'm a big fan of Free Solo. That's a weird chill movie for me.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Oh, you're psychotic.

SPEAKER_05 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

That's a psychotic answer.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

Yeah, that's a psychotic answer. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Uh, you have the same screw loose that that guy has, I think.

SPEAKER_06 18:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 18:18

Um in Tri Sola. Oh, maybe, but this is part of it. I don't think I could climb more than about two feet without being like, I give me a rope.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

But you can watch someone else do it. I could watch somebody else do it. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. It's pretty psychotic.

SPEAKER_05 18:28

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

I'm also here to say say something. Look, A Cab. A cab. Yeah. Does that mean the same thing? Yeah. All knights are bastards. A. A cab. With a K.

SPEAKER_05 18:43

That's right. Got it. All knights are bastards.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Camelot. In Camelot, we're talking about uh uh uh Lancelot. Yep. We're talking about Sir Duncan the Tall. We're talking about Elton John. All of them. Anybody that has been knighted. Elton John is Elton John is the one who killed me. Killed you? Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_05 19:06

Are you saying I'm here because are you telling me that people that are knighted nowadays are still going on missions to kill dragons?

SPEAKER_03 19:12

They are tasked. It's not even a mission, it's just like they seek out the glory. Hey, I'm a knight now.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

To justify the title, kind of. Especially.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

This is what Ian McKellen's doing. This is yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

And one of the Beatles. One of the Paul McCartney. Gotta be more than Paul McCartney.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

One only?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Only Paul. Do you think Ringo got knighted?

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Sir Wing Sir Ringo. Sir Ringo's.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Sir Star?

SPEAKER_03 19:34

I'll say this. I'll say this. Ringo has never barged into my cave with a big lance.

SPEAKER_05 19:39

That honestly, that makes sense. Even if he is a knight, even if he's got the armor, he's not.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

I respect Ringo.

SPEAKER_05 19:44

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

He's a great drummer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

But Elton John, of course, you put me out of my misery.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Wait, yeah, how tell us this story. This is horrifying.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Well, look, I was in my cave. Of course, I was curled around a nice pot of gold, like a cute little kitten. And um, of course, I had a little bit of indigestion. So yeah, I was breathing a little bit of fire that day. Of course. You're at your home. You should be able to smoke. Yeah. What do you want from me? You know? I ate some chili. I was smoking some weed. All of a sudden that mix. You get high? A little bit, yeah. I would say the weed is too strong these days. Freak.

unknown 20:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 20:20

These days. So you got when did you die?

SPEAKER_03 20:22

These days. Oh, I died in 1994.

SPEAKER_05 20:25

Oh, yeah. It's even stronger. Wait a minute. It's stronger. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Yeah, it's way stronger. Oh, I don't even want to know what it's like.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

I have to go back. So the Lion King came out around 1994.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Elton John wins what? An Oscar?

SPEAKER_07 20:40

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Is that not enough? To justify your knighthood, your title, you have to go and kill a king.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

You guys want to know what he killed me with? Of course. The Oscar. Bash me in the head with his Oscar. What? And I mean, it was an honor, of course, just to be nominated.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

And we we're not going to be a good idea. I consider being nominated.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

If you're killed by an Oscar, you've been nominated.

SPEAKER_05 21:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Of course.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

And who else? Do you know anybody else that falls into that?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

I was killed by an Oscar? Um, that's a great question. Do you know? I don't really know, but um some people think that um, let's see, who might have been killed by an Oscar? Um Well, I wonder. Quexaquaddle. Quexaquaddle. He's my cousin, actually. Oh, Quexaquattle is your boy. Yeah, your cousin. He's the of course the Aztec serpent god. Yes. Ah, okay. Gotcha. Lived until, you know, I think he he he was uh probably died in like 1983, 1984. And of course, Scorsese, Sir Martin Scorsese. He bashed Quexaquattle.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

I feel sick.

SPEAKER_05 21:44

That's disgusting. That's disgusting. I'm glad you guys get it.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

At first I was like, these guys don't get it. Now all of a sudden these guys get it.

SPEAKER_05 21:53

So when you got bashed, and I I guess we don't have to if you don't feel comfortable going to the specifics, we don't have to, but you bash. 600 feet long.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

Enormous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you not feel the first bash? There's no way one bash.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Well, what was the first thing I said to you when I when you started here? Dragons are chill. Dragons are chill. So if Elton John walks in, I'm like, oh, huge fan. You're high as fuck. I'm I'm tweaking. I'm like, yo, I'm fucking high. And um I'm saying to myself, oh my god, Elton John's here, Tiny Dancer, one of my favorite songs.

SPEAKER_05 22:27

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

I think it's fun because I'm so big.

SPEAKER_05 22:29

Brutal your fans.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

I'm a huge fan. And and like just imagining being a little tiny dancer as a 600-foot dragon. That's really sweet. It's sweet to me, but he walks in and he says, Um First of all, he said, Do you know what night it is? I said, I don't know what night it is. And he said, It's Saturday night. Saturday night.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Saturday night, it's alright.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

It's a night for fighting.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

It's a night for fighting.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

It's a night for fighting. And he said, I'm a knight for fighting. I'm Sir Elton John. And he bashed me in his head with his Oscar. Crocodile rocked. Crocodile. He crocodile rocked your fucking dome. He crocodile rocked me. And um ultimately, like, I still want to say that I'm a fan, but like, in the end, like all anyone who is knighted by the queen or the king, they just they've got to screw loose, you know.

SPEAKER_05 23:20

And you know, it's probably the case where they're justifying, like, oh, that's what knights do. This is what knights do. This is what knights do.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

It's stereotypical knight stuff.

SPEAKER_05 23:28

And that dragon could have hurt somebody.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Yeah, have I hurt anyone?

SPEAKER_05 23:33

That dragon was on drugs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Come on now.

SPEAKER_05 23:36

He probably stole all that gold.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Ugh, pants too low. Just walking around the wrong neighborhood. I'm like, this is my cave. It's okay. I'm at my home.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

You didn't even do anything. So crazy. Okay, a cob.

SPEAKER_05 23:51

A cab. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Now we gotta look out for knights.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

I feel lucky now that I don't know any.

SPEAKER_05 23:59

Who are the big ones that we should be looking out for?

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Well, um, the entire uh UCF uh college football team. Oh, we got the golden knights. The golden knights, of course.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Crap.

SPEAKER_06 24:08

Uh the Las Vegas uh team.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Oh my god. What about like medieval times? I know those are like.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Well, those are those are like sort of actors playing knights, but at the same time, like they're just like glory hungry as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

And if you're someone who's like, I'm gonna take a role playing a knight, well, we know how despicable they are now.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

Yeah, it's like it's crazy. I gotta know about uh maybe you don't know this answer, but uh gender equality nowadays. Is Dame Duty Judy Dench? Is she a knight?

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Is Dame Duty Dench is Dame Duty Dench?

SPEAKER_05 24:36

What's Dame Duty Dench doing?

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Let's talk about Dame Duty Dench. Um she, of course, is a dame. She's a dame. So I don't know if that from her perspective is consider she doesn't consider herself a knight.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

So Judy's not kind of living with that.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

No, but she's Judy doing she's always kind of she's always like walking in front of the cave being like, oh no, kidnap me. Oh, she's a dame.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

Damsel. She's like a damsel in distress.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Are those are those related words?

SPEAKER_05 25:06

They must have the same Latin words.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

I mean, she must think that because she's always like, take me, take me, kidnap me, kidnap me. And I'm like, She was doing this, that is called, what is that called?

SPEAKER_01 25:17

A dink. That's called Dishi Dinky.

SPEAKER_05 25:20

That is called when cops try and get you to do something.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Oh, entrapment.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

It's a honey, it's a honey trap. It's a dunny trap. It's uh it's a dame dunny dunny trap. Dunny trap. It's absolutely entrapment. And of course, I'm seeing it, and I'm like, I don't want to tell her to get out of here because of course Dame Judy Dench is in front of my cave. Yeah. But like, yeah, I'm not gonna take the bait.

SPEAKER_05 25:41

You know, you've never kidnapped a damsel, right?

unknown 25:44

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

I I would say, like, okay, there was definitely a time uh before I was smoking weed where I was a little bit less chill.

SPEAKER_05 25:54

Um so dragons are chill if they get hot.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Yeah, I mean, at this point they're chill. Middle ages, we might have been a little aggro, sure. But drag ro we might have been drag row. That's nice. Oh, that's a really fun um uh drag race name. Oh draw. I'm drag row.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Well, it's interesting because drag already, yeah, it's like drag is already a kind of it's already a thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

It's already a thing.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

Well, like I mean like dragon and drag already are are those root words are they the same root word there?

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Well, I'm serving. You're serving. Stop giving.

SPEAKER_05 26:30

But you're not serving the queen.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

No, no, no. But of course, like I am presenting, like, of course, drag. Some people consider drag to be like um a sort of uh if you've ever seen Paris' Burning, I have drag is about sort of a projection of an image, it could be any sort of image that you decide on, whatever the category might be. And um, I'm serving dragon. So there is in a way, I am drag. Wow. Wow. And in the the immortal words of RuPaul, we're born naked and the rest is drag. Is that the phrase I don't know? It is. Okay, I I I was I for a second I was like, You came in super confident. Came in super confident and then the wheels fell off.

SPEAKER_05 27:13

Of course I'm yeah, you don't want I I get the the uh hesitation, but yes, yes, yes. You knocked out the mailed it. He nailed it. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Are we serving like am I serving Reka?

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Absolutely. Oh my god. The the second you get out of bed, you're serving Rika. But not when you're in bed. No, when you're in bed, you're serving sleepy. Yeah, you're serving sleepy. But the second you wake up, I mean, isn't that like a nice thing to know? Is that like you are always serving. See you're always serving Reka.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

I told you I I'm so generous. I'm always serving you.

SPEAKER_05 27:47

Yes. Thank hey Reka, thank you. Thank you. And with that, we should probably catch the commercial.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

We'll be right back. Live from Vic Pen for Man Arena. It's the void. Hear them like you've never heard them before. New hits, old classics. The void.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

And we're back. Willie, I'm so excited for this next guest.

SPEAKER_05 28:22

Me too. This is a person that I feel like I talked a lot about more as a kid and I haven't thought about in a long time, but it's fun to see him here.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Please welcome Cupid. Hello.

SPEAKER_05 28:31

Hi, Cupid.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Hi. Hi.

SPEAKER_05 28:34

How how has the afterlife been for you?

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Well, uh, it was going well. I was having a lot of fun. I was doing a lot of um fun matches. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:47

Um Were you always in the afterlife? No. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

You were a lot, because I think when I was a kid, and forgive me, I was like, Cupid is just like kind of an imaginary like fantasy, like an angel.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

I'm not imaginary.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

You exist.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

And I see, I see that.

SPEAKER_05 29:04

And we see that.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Yeah, and I'm sorry. I was just trying to point out very nice to say. No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just trying to think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

I've been here not imaginary for um 2,000 or so years, and then I um I died yeah, recently.

SPEAKER_05 29:24

You died recently. Yeah. So were you mostly on Earth during your existence?

SPEAKER_02 29:28

I was mostly on Earth, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Okay, wow. And I I hate to start this way. I mean, I guess I already started out, but how did you die?

SPEAKER_02 29:38

I was flying. Yeah. And I was hungry. So I ate a snack, a uh gupe. Grape.

SPEAKER_05 29:49

You always have little kind of bunches of grapes in your diapie.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Yeah, I have to do that. Does that ever you guys want to? No, does that ever get mixed up with what?

SPEAKER_06 30:01

With what?

SPEAKER_02 30:02

With what? With what? What would I mix my gupe up with?

SPEAKER_04 30:08

Raspberries? Blueberries?

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Uh anything else you might store in a diaper?

SPEAKER_04 30:15

Poop? Were you gonna say little turds?

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Are there compartments? Am I crazy?

SPEAKER_05 30:22

You are being crazy.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

You are being crazy. Wait, what is the thing we're all predicating this on? Are there compartments?

SPEAKER_05 30:28

It's a storage diaper. Right. Have you never seen rug rats?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

You ever seen Tommy reach for his screwdriver and pull out a big turd?

SPEAKER_04 30:41

He knows the difference. He knows the difference.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

You know, I'm going back in my memory, and I could have sworn one time he pulled out a bigger type.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

No, he pulled out a big turn. No chance. No chance.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Viewers, please call it if you know the episode of the Rugrats I'm talking about, where Tommy reaches for the screwdriver to open the pen and it comes out and has poop all over it. Please tell me if you remember this episode. It's quite shocking.

SPEAKER_05 31:09

That would be shocking. There's no way that passes BCC.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Or like he pulls a binky out and then it's got poop over it. No. Please, please call it if you remember that.

SPEAKER_05 31:19

Okay. I assume that that's never. Yeah, that's probably never happened to you.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

You're sick. I was flying. I was hungry. I reached for a grape. I I am eating a grape, and then I f a seagull flew into me.

SPEAKER_06 31:34

A seagull flew into you?

SPEAKER_02 31:35

I choked on my grape.

SPEAKER_05 31:37

No. So you died via the choking.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Ultimately, it was the choking. Because you know what? And I I don't know if this was the case. If you're flying, who can give you the Heimlich manure? It's only other flying creatures.

SPEAKER_05 31:51

You gotta hope just when you land, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

It's like, is a bird gonna do? I don't even think a bird could do that if they freaking wanted to.

SPEAKER_05 31:59

Now I gotta know how you were able to exist for 2,000 years and maintain your age.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

My parents are gods. Your parents are gods.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Nepo, Nepo, Nepo.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

I'm a Nepo baby.

SPEAKER_05 32:12

You're a Nepo baby.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:14

Okay. So you how old do you uh do you tell people you are? Do you say the thousands years or the the earth like two. You say two. You say two. You say two.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

See, it's so interesting because I feel like I would want to say I'm two thousand to kind of further justify that like my wisdom in knowing relations. If a two-year-old, yeah, the earth understanding of a two-year-old tells me I think you would match with this person, I'd go, Well, you're crazy.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Yeah. You're sometimes sometimes I do it based on what you know, use it to my advantage. Okay, sure. But a lot of the time, and what's happening here in the afterlife is people are very mad at me and being very meaningful. They're mad at you because of some of my matches. And then what I say is, I'm two.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

And then it kind of gives you a pass.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

But people are mad at me and they've taken someone. I'm here because someone has taken my bow and arrow. Oh my god, I'm now seeing it. You just have the wings, you don't have the bow and arrow. Someone has taken it because I people are saying bad matches. You're doing a bad job. We don't want you making these matches anymore.

SPEAKER_05 33:25

But you when you make a match, that's love, right? Isn't that the whole thing? Is like when you do it, now that's love. And basically you can't do it wrong, can you?

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Well, tell that to the rest of the people in the afterlife.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Is there anyone specifically in the afterlife that said, hey, I don't like this match you made?

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Everyone is pissed about Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Coco.

SPEAKER_05 33:49

Coco, the grandma from the movie Coco?

SPEAKER_01 33:52

The gorilla. Oh, the Everyone's pissed about that. Everyone's pissed about Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Coco the Gorilla.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

But aren't they in love?

SPEAKER_01 34:01

They're in love.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

But other people are pissed.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Yeah, who's pissed? Is it the people that got the match that are pissed or other people? Other people are pissed.

SPEAKER_05 34:09

A bunch of people who are in love with Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Coco. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

So Harambe is like, can you please? Harambe's been begging me for a match.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

But and I keep saying I have to follow my heart and I haven't felt a match for the case.

SPEAKER_05 34:25

And now you need your bow and arrow back to match you.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

Okay. If you've seen Cupid's bow and arrow, this is not a joke. Call in right now. Because that's we're serious. We're serious this time. This is not a joke. You need to call in. That's serious. That's theft. It's dehumanizing. It's awful.

SPEAKER_05 34:41

Why Coco and Ruth Baker against me?

SPEAKER_01 34:43

I felt something between them. What did you feel?

SPEAKER_02 34:46

What does it feel like when you feel a match? It feels tingly. Yeah. It feels tingly in my diaper. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 34:55

Anything else? Anything else?

SPEAKER_02 34:57

It feels really tingly in my diaper.

SPEAKER_04 35:00

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Like, um, you know, everywhere. Yeah. Uh tingly. Yeah. And like exciting.

SPEAKER_05 35:08

Yeah. Is it I've been there?

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Is it possible? That a match for Cupid is just them either going to the bathroom or coming. Is it possible that?

SPEAKER_05 35:20

I think Rake is suggesting.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

I'm not. Ray is.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Somebody called in and suggested. I want to remind you, I'm two. But what do you have to ask?

SPEAKER_05 35:29

Reka is suggesting that when you pee in your diaper and you feel a warm feeling, you might be looking at two people and going, oh, that's love. Is there a chance?

SPEAKER_06 35:40

Is there a chance?

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Just because from the outside, I'm not mad about RBG and Coco. No, in some ways I can get it. I can see it. I see it. But I wouldn't have thought about it. And so it's so there's a there's a part of it that that's oh, that's either artistry of a true matchmaker, or I go, whoa, maybe it's it's random.

SPEAKER_05 35:59

Ah, I see.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

I think it's artistry, but I am following the tingly feeling. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:06

So it's tingly feeling first, then love. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Can you give us some other examples of matches or times you've felt this tingly? Or like ticket through. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

Well, people are really mad about some of my others too. Yeah. Oh, well, on Earth, people are so mad at me about Woody Allen.

unknown 36:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:27

You did Woody Allen.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

Which which time? Soon ye. People are really mad about that. I don't like that one. I thought I think it's a huge bummer, Cupid. I I I What do you want me to say? I felt the feeling.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

Why? And I'm a baby. Wait, take take me through. I'm just curious about something. What are you doing like an hour or two before the feeling? What are you like eating? Are you eating or drinking anything?

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Yeah, usually grapes and a lot of um apple juice. Apple juice. Apple juice.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

I love apple juice. You drink a lot of apple juice? I love apple juice. So can you take me through the day you matched Woody and his daughter together? What was it? His daughter? His wife. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 37:17

It's his step. Was it his stepdaughter?

SPEAKER_01 37:24

And she he was with Mia Faro. I felt the feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Take me through. I want to know what that day was like, just so I can get an understanding of if I believe this. Or I think it's the P.

SPEAKER_02 37:36

I've been uh going about my regular day. Um flying, floating, drinking, juice. And then I was in Manhattan. Beautiful place. Skawy.

SPEAKER_05 37:51

Scary.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Skewy.

SPEAKER_05 37:53

Scary place.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

So many buildings. Lots of places. Lots of people.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

If you're flying around, you might smack into things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

And then also the Statue of Liberty freaks me out.

SPEAKER_05 38:03

Freaks you out. It could be freaky. Have you ever tried to set up the Statue of Liberty with something else? Then you realize, oh, not a person.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

I keep trying to set the Statue of Liberty up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:13

Who do you think would be a good match? Or what was your what was your tingly thing?

SPEAKER_02 38:16

I tried to set the Statue of Liberty up with Rudy Julian.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Oh. You know, that does feel like a natural match to me.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

I I feel like that's really aiming up for him. Yeah. Anyway, then I was flying by a school and Woody Allen was there. And then I got the feeling.

SPEAKER_05 38:38

I don't love you being at schools. I never make you. You don't need to be at schools.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

I was flying over in a wet school.

SPEAKER_05 38:46

Oh, yeah. They're unavoidable. They're everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

You never had a crush on anybody at school?

SPEAKER_05 38:51

I had so many crushes. Was that you sometimes?

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_05 38:54

Did you make me have a crush on Christopher Manus?

SPEAKER_01 38:57

That was me. I had a crush on my student teacher when I was in second grade. That was me. Wow. He said I talk so fast I sound like the Hot Wheels commercials.

SPEAKER_05 39:07

Wait, wait. I gotta know. Oh. What? Wow. Did that make you go, oh my god, he likes me. Oh my god, he likes me, he likes me, he likes me.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

You only say that to someone you love.

SPEAKER_05 39:20

I gotta know, is a crush when you shoot only one person?

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Oh that's that's brutal.

SPEAKER_05 39:27

I guess you miss the second person.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

That's what I've I've been doing to you for a long time, it seems. I was doing it when you were on earth, and then I've been doing it in here.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Yeah, I kind of felt that to be honest. Because I've had quite a few crushes that I thought were something in the orange. Michael Jackson. Yeah, I I really had a strong crush on him. And I even honestly, Cupid tried to fight it once all the allegations came out, but I still remained absolutely in love with Michael Jackson. That was me.

SPEAKER_06 40:02

That was you.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah, I really went to therapy about that to be like, how can I not excuse all of these horrible things? Is it just because he's the king of pop? Do I am I sometimes you have to separate the art from the artist? Well, I'd be curious again about this Woody story. So you went to a school.

SPEAKER_05 40:21

Yeah, you flew her flying over and around a school.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

And he was um getting out of the car with um Sun Yi and uh taking her to school. And you thought, what a cute little And I got the feeling. And I got the feeling.

SPEAKER_05 40:37

Mm-mm. Okay. So why not? And I know that this is your entire thing, and I don't want to like say that you shouldn't be doing your thing, but why not pe let people just fall in love with who they want to fall in love with? Or we can move on to an entirely different question.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person?

SPEAKER_05 41:02

Well oh, that's a very interesting question. I think the answer is probably yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

You probably wish I had been so anytime we've fallen in some in love with someone that was wrong for us, that wasn't me. And then every time it was a really bad crush, that was you. That was me.

SPEAKER_05 41:20

You gotta know the differences. There's slight little differences.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Okay, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 41:26

Man, yeah. I fall in love with some people that uh yeah, like I fell I was in love with them forever, and I just shouldn't have been. Yeah, yeah, and that hurts, and that's why you need Cupid. Did you did you have a hand in me and my wife that we fought?

SPEAKER_02 41:44

I shot her first, and then it I accidentally shot a different guy.

SPEAKER_05 41:51

That no, that this actually sounds right.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

And so for a minute there, yeah, it was a different guy with your wife.

SPEAKER_05 41:58

Yeah, I didn't care for that.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Um, but then I I sh I reshot you and it worked out.

SPEAKER_05 42:05

Wow. Man, that's so wow. Well, thank you. I guess thank you.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Mm-hmm. You're welcome. But I've been thinking about who I could if I could find my bow and any bow.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

This is serious. Colin, this is not a joke. I I'm half debating if I want Cupid to have his bow and arrow back, but it's not it's not.

SPEAKER_05 42:24

Who we can we try and maybe figure it out? Who stole it from you?

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Well, okay, so there's been a lot of people bullying me and sticking my head in the toilet.

SPEAKER_05 42:34

There's a lot of afterlife bullies.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Pablo Picasso keeps sticking my head in the toilet.

SPEAKER_04 42:42

What? Why?

SPEAKER_02 42:44

He says he does not like my matches. And he, I think I feel like he also dated kids.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

And is that too huge to say without looking it up?

SPEAKER_04 42:58

You really pull that out of the I have no clue. I'm not gonna support that one way or another.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

And I did those two.

SPEAKER_04 43:06

You did the kid once. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

Because for me, I'm 2,000 and I'm two.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

So for me, it's just a number. And and you know, the woman who sang that song.

SPEAKER_05 43:17

Um That's a song?

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Uh Selena Gomez. Yeah, it's Aaliyah. Oh. Aaliyah sang that song, and um I I believe you may have made a really bad match there. Yeah, at that time that maybe inspired that song. Yeah. Because she got married to R. Kelly when she was 15. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

When she was 15? Well, because they lied about her age. I did that. That's so bad.

SPEAKER_05 43:48

Oh, it sucks that your bonero is that sucks so bad. Pull in.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

If you know anything.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

It is seriously not okay to steal golden arrows. Totally, totally. The phone is all ready and primed to be called. It's already off the hook. And I can, if you guys help me find my arrow, I can set you up with whoever you want.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

I can go against my rules. I can do a match for whoever you want. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 44:22

Now that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Now that's interesting. Because there's a few cuties. Who are you interested in down here? George Washington Carver. You got it. Seriously? You got it. Seriously? Because I got catfished by somebody who looked like him. And then a buddy of mine said he would set me up, but he hasn't been responding to my text, and I feel a little desperate now. I go, hey, you got George's info? Question mark. And then I gave it a thumbs up so this it would ping again in his text. And then he said, Hey, just checking in George's info. And then I did send a third one, and I'm like, I can't keep asking about George's info.

SPEAKER_05 44:55

But this could be the way to do it.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

You helped me find my AO. I set you up with George Washington. George Washington.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Carver. Please don't set me up with George Washington. It was actually different. I really don't want to be set up with George Washington. I think he'd actually scream if he met me. Would love the guy who invented peanut butter and not the first president of Carver.

SPEAKER_05 45:17

Yeah, Carver. Can you repeat it back?

SPEAKER_01 45:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

George Washington. Carving. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right. Over the break, I'm gonna explain that there's a huge difference between those two people. We will be right back.

SPEAKER_05 45:36

Oh, don't worry. That was just my shirt. Literally. The fart shirt sounds like farts when you move, so you can always just blame it on the shirt. Even when it was your butt.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

And we're back. Welcome back to Weird Dad and to my favorite segment of the episode.

SPEAKER_05 45:54

Yes, we get a chance to introduce these people to you, but we also want to introduce them to one another. So please welcome back to the show, Steve the Dragon and Cupid.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Hello.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

Hi, nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

It's so nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

Mythical creature to mythical creature.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

I I love meeting a fellow flyer.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

A fellow flyer.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

A fellow flyer.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

Yeah, I fly around sometimes. You fly around sometimes. But I will say, since getting high, I'm just sort of like not really cool to be flying around the fly. It's alright to hide and fly. Honestly, no, you can't hide and fly.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I respect high fly. You cannot F UI.

SPEAKER_05 46:26

Flying under the influence. I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

So I stay grounded for the most part. But if I enough to fly to get something off the top shelf, there's nothing like pot to keep you grounded. Thank you. That's what I've been saying.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Now, Steve, maybe you can help us with something because Cupid lost something of a treasure. Well, it was stolen. Sorry. I didn't mean to put the it was like.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

It wasn't lost, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

Yeah, it was stolen. Cupid had a treasure stolen from him. Yeah. And you are very good at finding treasure.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

I I, you know, I don't know if I'm good at finding it per se. I mean, I protect it.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Yeah, you're good at protecting it. I protect it.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

Protect it. How did you get it? That's a great question. You stole it back. Did you stole it? Yeah, I guess I did steal it.

SPEAKER_05 47:08

So you steal treasure, and you had treasure stolen.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

Yeah, I mean, I did a big heist for sure. Recently. It was a big heist. Yeah, me and some of the other dragon guys, we get together like. How many?

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Um 11. 11. So 11 total or 11 including you?

SPEAKER_06 47:23

Uh 11 total. Eleven total. Steve's Steve's at the beach.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

I think my my bow and arrow went missing when I was at the beach. Did you were you guys doing a heist at the beach?

SPEAKER_03 47:34

No, we weren't doing a heist at the beach. But I mean we we I I I mean it was sort of ocean related.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Ocean 11, Steve 11, okay.

SPEAKER_05 47:44

So an ocean and beach aren't necessarily the same as well.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

Not totally the same thing.

SPEAKER_05 47:49

Yeah, because you could be in the ocean and not see a beach anywhere near you. You could have a beach at a lake. And you can have a beach at a lake.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

Right. Uh I am curious though. It's a little coincidental.

SPEAKER_06 48:01

In what way?

SPEAKER_01 48:02

Well, City just did a big heist.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

You think they're related to one another?

unknown 48:10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Well no, I I I I wouldn't even say that I'm stealing because the stuff that I I have kind of belongs to me. Well, once you steal it. No, I think just like faded, fate-wise. It was always my fate-wise. Kind of like a fine eyes. So I can protect it, you know. Um right now I do have a big pile of gold. I know there's some stuff underneath it I haven't really looked through, but um Are you friends with Pablo Picasso? Pablo Picasso, Pablo Picasso.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

He does um strange art. Oh, he's the art guy? I think he dates kids.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

Is he like an impressionist art artist?

SPEAKER_01 48:50

I think he's an abstract, not impressionist. Um mad at me.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Cubism, sure, sure. Um, am I friends with him? Piss that cupid. Do we hang sometimes?

SPEAKER_05 49:01

You hang sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Yeah, he likes to dunk my head in the toilets. But in a way where you I'm I'm a it's fun for me. My head gets quite dirty, so it's like a nice way to kind of wash it off. Okay. Why are you guys asking me these very specific questions?

SPEAKER_01 49:15

No, no, no, no. I I just wonder if if part of your high unknowingly stole Cupid's bow and arrow. I really need it back, and if you help me get it back, I'll make you a match.

SPEAKER_05 49:29

Interesting. Have you ever been in love?

SPEAKER_03 49:31

Have you ever been in love? Um I did kind of have a like Romeo and Juliet sort of situation with um uh Emma Thompson. Oh, yeah, Romeo and Juliet situation by the Queen.

SPEAKER_05 49:45

Ah, I see. So Romeo and Juliet, as in you are with the dragons and she's with the knights. Yeah, yeah. And you are Starcrossed Loves.

SPEAKER_03 49:53

There's some interested people who've been knighted.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

There are. Really? Did you look it up during your time?

SPEAKER_03 49:59

I did look it up. I pulled it up on my dragon iPhone. I would love to. Dragon iPhone, yeah. Dragon iPhone.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

Um Dragon Eye.

SPEAKER_03 50:06

The uh, of course, the 1970s model Twiggy. Twiggy. Twiggy!

SPEAKER_01 50:10

I know her from the American sex top model.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

Um, also um Daniel Day Lewis. Daniel Day Lewis? I found that to be an interesting one. Is he British? I think he might be. I had no clue. He's just such a good actor, you'd never know. I don't know what. Yeah, yeah. He was knighted. Um, who else? There were some interesting ones in there. I would oh, Mick Jagger. No one says Sir Mick Jagger, but Sir Mick has been knighted. Sir Mickie, which is interesting. Sir Mick's a lot. But uh yeah, me and um Emma Thompson, we had sort of a fling, sort of fling thing, but it didn't work out, you know. Ultimately, we're from two different situations.

SPEAKER_05 50:45

I mean, you like you said, it's a Roman Juliet situation. Yeah, yeah. Famously did not work out.

SPEAKER_01 50:49

Well, maybe if Cupid had been the one to initiate it, it could have worked. So are Sir Is there anyone you've had your eyes on in the afterlife? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

I'm interested to know what Cupid might think. Because I mean, you're the expert, you're two, right? Is that I get that correct? So you've been around. I mean, you understand, like who do you kind of see?

SPEAKER_05 51:08

Let me I just want to go through those sentences again. You said you're the expert, you're two, you've been around. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:15

You know, for mythological creatures, I guess that makes more sense. I mean, I could break it down for you.

SPEAKER_05 51:20

Yeah, that that's not a not a those are not human sentences. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Well, actually, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

Are you getting a little tingle?

SPEAKER_02 51:28

I'm getting a tingle like this. He is peeing in front of us.

SPEAKER_03 51:34

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

I think this is actually a match. What? Really? This is actually a match.

SPEAKER_03 51:40

Oh, well, I mean, I respect Reka, of course. We're we're we're colleagues now that we've been on a show together.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

If I had my bow and arrow, you guys would be in love. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 51:52

That's really interesting. I mean, what do you think about that, Rika?

SPEAKER_01 51:55

Well, um, I I I gotta reiterate that uh looking at your face occurred to my head. Interesting. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

It gives you a quick little itch on the head.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

It makes this part of my head itch on the head. I do want to give you your own type of table.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

I do want to say I did Google that frog you were talking about, and I do not like it. I don't like it. And that's something we have in common.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

So I think it prerequisite, you know, I haven't had true love yet in my life that you have to look at someone's head to be in love. Is that something?

SPEAKER_05 52:29

Somebody that had true love back on Earth, it came up. It came up looking at it. How often? Uh daily.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

I would say another thing we have in common. I'm looking at your head. I'm a little itchy. Really? Yeah. Something itchy. Hold on. Just like look at just cover up the the scary part.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

This I could get used to. Okay. I know you wanted to be with George Bush, but no, I did not.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

Did you put out a ping page? Which one? George H.W. Bush, the one that's dead? Well, I don't have my arrow! I cannot express. I I I actually beg of you, do not contact George H.W. Bush on my behalf or George Washington or George Foreman or Wait a second, wait.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Bow and air? A little bow and air? I do you know what? I might have accidentally taken a little bow and arrow, and I think I can get it back to you. I think I can get it back to you. I want you to be doing your good works once again.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

This is great news!

SPEAKER_01 53:24

George Washington Carver. You guys are welcome. Wow. I am gonna be doing some fun stuff. Can I, can I? Sorry, non-offensively, Steve. I we made a deal on George Washington Carver.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

Yeah, yeah, we made a deal. We made a deal on her on a dad, on George. King of the jungle!

SPEAKER_05 53:44

I don't want to be. That's kind of cool. George and the King of the Jungle?

SPEAKER_02 53:47

He's not, I don't, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_05 53:49

Especially if it's the Brendan Fraser version. If it's the Brendan Fraser. Sir Brendan Fraser? I don't think he is. He could be.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

Wait, listen, I know that that character canonically is dead.

SPEAKER_05 53:58

Well, yeah, because in the sequel, Brendan Fraser, he's not. It's not Brendan Fraser. It's not exactly.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

So thus the Brendan Fraser version is dead. If I can guarantee the Brendan Fraser version, I will give up George Washington Carver.

SPEAKER_05 54:10

Okay, we're moving on to George the Jungle, Brendan Fraser version. Wow. Brendan Fraser version. Fraser.

SPEAKER_01 54:18

Do not Fraser. No, no, no, no. I know canonically Fraser Crane dies at the end of Fraser. I love that episode. It's a really dark episode. It's so crazy. And then they retcon it in the reboot.

SPEAKER_03 54:31

Like, just kidding. They do it just kidding at the beginning of the reboot. Didn't he die when he was walking on a stage and fell through a hole? And he made a crazy case.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

Kelsey Grammar did fall through. Kelsey Grammar. He fell on a stage. But we don't even need to get it. I just set Kelsey Graham up. Yeah. She's been married quite a few times. I think eight times. Eight times? Well, I think a lot of times.

SPEAKER_03 54:59

You set him up again.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 55:02

But why do you shoot somebody that's been shot?

SPEAKER_01 55:05

Because I have the feeling and I have to follow it. Because of your feeling two to three times a day or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 55:12

I gotta say the couch is soaking wet.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

See, the diaper doesn't even have a function.

SPEAKER_03 55:18

Grapes.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

See, now you're on board. Before you were talking like there were different compartments and shit.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

I think it's full of grapes. I never said it wasn't. Hold on, hold on. Oh, it's actually just grape juice. Oh, he squished.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

But that's because he's sitting on them.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

Alright. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

Um I think maybe You're obsessed with what's in my diaper.

SPEAKER_05 55:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:39

I honestly can't refute that. I guess I am. Because it feels to me cupid not to bust this thing wide open that you're just pissing and you assume it's finding true love. Wow. You assume that Tingly feeling is finding true love, but it's piss. And guess what? I piss.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

Cutting to the core, absolutely serving Rika right now.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

I don't think serving Rayka is being generous and kind to people.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

No, I think it's cutting to the core. Cutting to the core.

SPEAKER_01 56:07

Calling to the core imagining. Calling people out.

SPEAKER_05 56:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Asking what's in your diaper.

SPEAKER_05 56:12

This is classic Rayka. This is now Reka, you were wondering who you are. This is who you are.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

Stop it. This is not who I am.

SPEAKER_05 56:20

You cutting to the core, calling out people and their love life and their dietary habits. Okay. This is right up your alley.

SPEAKER_01 56:28

You're honestly overrepresenting fruit in your diet. Grapes and apple juice is your main diet. I mean, that's approach. That's a lot of fructose. Whose side are you on?

SPEAKER_05 56:41

I'm kind of just going with the flow.

unknown 56:43

Sick.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

100% fructose. I'm gonna set you up with air bud.

SPEAKER_06 56:48

With air bud?

SPEAKER_02 56:49

I will kill myself if you set me around.

SPEAKER_06 56:51

Airbuds a good guy. He's a good guy too.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

Earbud is obsessed with his work.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

He will never he's a mythical feature. He actually can fly. He is he can fly, he can play basketball, he can junk. I don't know. He's a workaholic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:03

He'll never have time for a partner. It's true. He's a dog. Yeah. Not even in the way that is cool, like a D-O-D-G, like nasty.

SPEAKER_05 57:12

Also, Cupid, why would you do that to Earbud? Because you'll be damn that's shocking.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

You don't think I could be a basketball wife?

SPEAKER_05 57:20

I don't think you can be. I don't think you could be.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

That's actually true. Actually, I don't think you could be a basketball wife. Why? From what I know about you, you couldn't handle it. I can't handle it. You think I get jealous? I think you'd get jealous.

SPEAKER_05 57:34

I think you get jealous.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

And the cheerleaders and the dancers. You don't think I could.

SPEAKER_05 57:40

You don't think I don't think you would give Airbud his space any needs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:43

He's gonna be, I mean, traveling with the team, you know.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

I don't mind.

SPEAKER_05 57:47

You don't mind.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

No.

SPEAKER_05 57:49

You are already bothered, and this is a made-up scenario.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

Who else? Who else?

SPEAKER_05 57:55

Well, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 57:56

Um, there's a guy I saw. Um there's a guy.

SPEAKER_04 58:03

You're chopping in your punch.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

I saw Guy Fieri.

SPEAKER_03 58:07

Guy Fieri? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Well, his brother who's dead.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

Yeah, Manfieri.

SPEAKER_03 58:13

Manfieri. He's he's a little bit more proper.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Yeah, but that's the whole appeal of the Fieri family. You want someone crazy, right?

SPEAKER_05 58:21

So you give me a you want dude Fieri.

SPEAKER_01 58:24

If I can't, I mean dude is too young. He's not died, he's not dead yet. Oh, actually, that could be good. What? You and Dude. Even though he's not dead? He's kind of like a maybe when he dies.

SPEAKER_06 58:33

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:34

So I have to wait on potential of a man.

SPEAKER_03 58:36

Yeah, we could get him killed. I mean, look, I could call up my buddy Idris Elba, also knighted, and tell him that he's a good one. That was a good one. No, no, no. He's he's knighted. And I can say, look, dude Fieri, he's a dragon. Now wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

It seems like you had animosity with the knights before, but now you're calling them up.

SPEAKER_03 58:52

Look, some of them are my buds. Wow. Idris Elba, Tweekie. You know, you know Twiggy. Oh yeah, me and Twiggy. We go way back. I mean, of course, Twiggy was like, oh, kidnap me, can't me. We kidnapped for a set for a little bit. Oh, she was a damsel and she was.

SPEAKER_05 59:06

Sort of casual. Kind of um a uh, and I should know the word for this when you kidnap somebody and they become a fan of yours. Oh Stockholm Syndrome.

SPEAKER_03 59:14

Stockholm Syndrome. Yeah, you could say that, sure. I mean, she loved swimming in my pile of gold like Scrooge McDuck.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

Right. Also in the afterlife.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

Which also assert. Oh, wait a minute. Now we're now this could be a match for Rayka.

SPEAKER_01 59:27

Scrooge McDuck.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Scrooge McDuck.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

That's interesting. It's canon canonically he died at the end of the channel.

SPEAKER_03 59:33

Yeah, DuckTale. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:35

Diving in. He died. He dove in.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

He drowned, I believe. I believe he drowned.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

And he never learned a lesson.

SPEAKER_03 59:42

That's right. I mean, he's look, he's got money, which I know you love. You love it. You're always talking about money. It's not like traveling around with you in any way.

SPEAKER_05 59:54

Who is Reka? She needs money.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

He doesn't have a job.

SPEAKER_02 59:57

He's just uh he's old money.

SPEAKER_03 59:59

He's independently.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:00

If you go want to be going around Scrooge McDuck, I'll fly around and see if I get the feeling. You'll fly around and see if you get the feeling with Scrooge McDuck and me.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:08

Yeah, if you just fly around long enough, you'll probably get the feeling.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Yeah, fly around for six to eight hours. That's what usually happens. Just fly as long as you're flying and eating grapes, you feel me drinking a ton of juice and you just kind of wait it out. Something's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:23

Then you can become Rayka McDuck. That's a great. I do like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

I do like that a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:31

Okay, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

Oh, but I there is one. Oh god, there's one problem. There's a problem. Scrooge McDuck does have a bunch of holes in his back for Huey Dewey and Louie. They don't show it on the show, but because he's always wearing that overcoat. He's always wearing the overcoat, but he does have the holes in his back. So how often do you have to look at your partner's back?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:52

Um that's a great question. Just when you're screwing McDuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

Just when I'm screwing him? I'm looking at his back.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:59

He's very into uh pegging.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

Well, yeah, yeah. And I I'm I'm on board. I'm just understanding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. He's always trying to bend himself over. Bend at an angle where it's like kind of a plane that's like a little cloaca thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:15

Yeah, it's really the cloaca situation.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:17

It's a cloaca thing. Which is a unique hole. No, that's an interesting thing because cloaca actually reduces the number of holes on a creature.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:25

And I have to tell you, Walid literally only just learned this. He's acting, he's acting like this is something he knew.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

Yeah, during all the breaks, he's brought up cloacas like six times.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:34

Yeah, he found out last week. This is like a little kid that finds out that, you know, whatever, Saturn has rings, and then they spring it up and everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:41

As somebody who's afraid of holes, a cloaca is like your has got to be your favorite thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:45

It's not that I need fewer holes. It's just all holes are nasty. So it's not like you need a multi-tool hole.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

To fix the focus.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:57

I'm just saying the fewer holes are better for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:59

Cutting to the core once again.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

Who has the least holes?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:02

That's a great question. Here? Yeah, keep you away. Jump! Keep you away from Spongebob. Job of the hut.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

Jump of the hut. People don't know canonically at the end of Star Wars.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:10

No, well, he dies pretty early in uh return of the church.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:15

How does he die?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:15

Uh he's choked to death by Princess Leia. Oh she has like a um a cool costume on. Yeah. And uh it's kind of like a bikini, and then she's chained up on his barge, and then like they get the drop on him, she wraps her chains around his neck and kills him.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

Oh, so he's kind of a beta.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

He he loves he loves the chains and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:35

And no holes? No holes.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

No holes? I mean, he has a mouth. He has a mouth and eyes. That's a hole you can deal with. Wait.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

He has little nostrils. He got a job? Maybe not.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:44

Does he have a job? I mean, he is a huge crime lord. Uh he's like the secure.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:51

If you don't think Scrooge McDuck isn't a crime lord, you're out of your fucking head.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:54

Scrooge McDuck did not earn his money, honestly. Give me a break. Come on. Oh, yeah. That is blood money.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

Yeah, absolutely. Who has new as holes?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:02

Cobalt.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:04

I was gonna say slimer, but I think he has the same amount of holes as Job of the Hunt.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:09

Are we really thinking of eyes as holes?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:12

No, we're mostly just trying to think of people for you. And slimer, job of the hut.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:16

Like who doesn't have a butthole or a peephole? Um like a Kirby. A whoom! Kirby. But but the problem with Kirby is like his one hole kind of gives him really big.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:27

Canonically, Kirby dies at the end of Super Smash Brothers. If you beat the game, he kills himself.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:33

There's a really sad scene where he's like, I can't keep swallowing stuff. I've sucked too many people.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

You think you would die by choking your death, but what about a what about a worm?

SPEAKER_05 1:03:43

Ooh, worms are basically holeless. A worm could be good. I don't even know how worms procreate. But you could be you could figure that out. You could totally figure that out.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:54

I could see you with a worm. Is there a worm we know of? Or is this just there's earthworm gym.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:01

Earthworm gym.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:02

There is um you think I could land Earthworm Jim?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

I mean, if Cupid is involved.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:08

Earthworm Jim canonically he dies at the end of the game.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:12

It's really tough. It's so one of the weirdest Sega Genesis games.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:16

It's so strange.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:17

Well, he dies and he dies constantly throughout if you're playing. Ooh, there's also there's also Heidi Klum from that Halloween party.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:25

Yeah, we haven't talked about how for video game characters. There are literally millions.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:30

Because it's all the people who are bad players.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

Oh, there's so many dogs. Oh, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:35

There's of course um Shy Halud, the um the worms from Dune. Which has one very toothy hole.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:43

What do you think of that?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

They're huge. They're like my size, 600 feet. I like it. Okay. This I think is good.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:51

He's shy. I want to make sure again.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:56

He's shy. Shy halo.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:59

Do you need me?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:00

I'm in the sand. Tap twice if you need to need me.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

Otherwise, I'm shy.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:06

Oh, okay. Well, we'll try and get you your bow and arrow back and we can set up Ray and Shia.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

That would be really good.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Wow. I do feel this has been really productive. I totally agree. We've learned dragons are chill. Dragons are chill. And Cupid is gonna get his bow and arrow back.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:21

Yeah. Problem solved. Episode over.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:23

Episode over. Thank you guys so much for being here.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:26

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:27

And hey, they say you only live once, but then there's the afterlife. I'm Reka Shunker.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:31

And I'm Ali Mansur, and we're dad.