A mystery I cannot solve in the afterlife (Anna Bezahler, Kimia Behpoornia)

On this week's episode, Rekha and Waleed chat with the world’s greatest detective/podcast rival, Hercule Poirot, and very first human ever, Lucy. We apologize for not having had Lucy on sooner.

Hosts:
Rekha Shankar
Waleed Mansour

Guests:
Anna Bezahler as Hercule Poirot
Kimia Behpoornia as Lucy the First Human

Edited by Waleed Mansour

Full episodes available to watch on Youtube 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to another day of viewing on public access television. We hope you enjoy today's programming.

SPEAKER_10 0:07

I'm Reka Shunter.

SPEAKER_04 0:08

And I'm Wade Mansour and We're Dead.

SPEAKER_10 0:14

Hello and welcome to We're Dead, the afterlife's premier cable access show.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

That's right, a show where we get to talk to dead people just like us. And Rika, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_10 0:22

I feel like you always asked me first. Okay. And I don't want to overtake our intro banter. I want to know how you're doing first.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

I'm doing well. I uh I have an uh not an audition, a tryout tomorrow.

SPEAKER_10 0:36

To be a kicker?

SPEAKER_04 0:37

To be a kicker for the uh the AFL, to be in the AFL.

SPEAKER_10 0:41

So for Afterlife Football League.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

That's right. So it's kind of like a combine and then they get to draft us potentially. So that's exciting.

SPEAKER_10 0:47

What's a combine?

SPEAKER_04 0:49

It's a combine is like when you go to show off your skills so that people can then see how good you are and then they draft you.

SPEAKER_10 0:59

What is how is that different than a tryout?

SPEAKER_04 1:01

A tryout a tryout, you is you trying out for like one team. This is a combine where you're trying out essentially for all the teams.

SPEAKER_10 1:07

Okay. You do you remember in Pitch Perfect? I didn't see it. Okay. Sorry. You're gonna have to stop on that one.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

Well, because it just sticks out to me because I did a cappella when I was in college.

SPEAKER_08 1:18

You did? Yeah, I did. What was your team called?

SPEAKER_04 1:22

We were 58 Green, was the name of a team. We it was based on the room, it was the name of the room that the acapella group started in.

SPEAKER_08 1:29

Well, give me something.

SPEAKER_04 1:31

Give you something? Give me a little acapella. Give you just a sock a cappella. Okay. How we run to the midnight sun.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Wheels round around. You're on my man.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

That's faithfully by Journey.

SPEAKER_10 1:50

Willie, that was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 1:54

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 1:56

Wow. I mean, I knew you sang. Um, I didn't know you were in a club. Because I know you love music.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

I do love music, yeah. So when I was in college, I my freshman year, I was obsessed with acapella, and I auditioned for my college, the University of Michigan, had like 17 a cappella groups, and I think I auditioned for like 11 of them. Okay, so I had to go to 11 different auditions, like six different callbacks, which was crazy. And in the movie Pitch Perfect, everybody was sitting in the theater and they auditioned people one by one so that everybody could hear the auditioners. And I'm like, that's way better.

SPEAKER_10 2:31

A combine.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

It's a combine. Pitch Perfect had a combine. They had a combine. That's the difference, I guess, between a combine and a combine.

SPEAKER_10 2:36

And then big singers came and said, I like your stuff, kid. Like a coach.

SPEAKER_04 2:42

Who's that? That's a coach.

SPEAKER_10 2:51

We need you on the squad.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

That did that was an exciting moment when the the a cappella group showed up to my dorm door, knocked on the door, I opened it up, and they're singing at me, telling me that I'm in the group.

SPEAKER_10 3:04

I actually think that sounds really crazy. It was so special.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

And then, like, all the other kids in the dorms are like sick in their heads out, like, what the hell's going on? It was cool. Wow. Yeah. I remember they after they left. I turned around and like did a front kick because I was so excited. I truly was upset.

SPEAKER_11 3:22

Holy cow!

SPEAKER_04 3:24

I was I was so obsessed with Acapella at the time.

SPEAKER_10 3:26

That's so sweet. Uh I didn't get into anything I tried out for in college.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

You tried. I think we've talked about this. You tried out for the improv groups, right? The sketch comedy groups?

SPEAKER_10 3:40

Were they why are we talking? You I tried out for is this afterlifey? All right. I tried out for the sketch comedy group.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

That's right. What's the name of them?

SPEAKER_10 3:55

I their name does not need to be more promoted.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

Well, the only reason I ask is because I think you've roasted this group before. Am I wrong?

SPEAKER_07 4:04

No, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_04 4:05

You've roasted the group before because the people that did make the group still continue to talk about how they are on the group.

SPEAKER_10 4:11

Yeah, and I'm like, I I guess they would say, why are you still talking about not being on it?

SPEAKER_07 4:18

But uh I the reason I I think it's funny that I didn't get on and I and I tried very, very hard.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_10 4:26

Uh and I tried out once for the improv group, and then I tried out once for an offshoot improv group, and I did not get on the You didn't even get on the offshoot. But you didn't start doing improv until I didn't do any sort of performance until I was like 22 or 21.

SPEAKER_04 4:40

Oh wow, okay. Did you do theater in high school or anything? No, no.

SPEAKER_10 4:44

I got a role in Midsummer Night's Dream as a fairy, but my best friend did not, and so I was like, that's not for me.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

And I quit. If my friend can't be a fairy, absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 4:55

I was like, I'm out.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Well, there's still a chance. You can do theater up here. It's never too late.

SPEAKER_10 5:03

I don't know, Willie. I can't. Okay. The way that on a as a comedian on Earth, you were trying to be a comedian, I was a comedian.

SPEAKER_04 5:11

I famously attempted to be a comedian.

SPEAKER_10 5:14

On Earth, where they like suddenly started requiring you to like not just write, not just act, you also had to film your own stuff, you had to edit your own stuff, you had to, you had to have your own channel, you had to be your own producer.

SPEAKER_04 5:23

You had to be a business.

SPEAKER_10 5:24

I feel that way with with live actors too, where they're like, can you sing? I'm like, no. Can you dance? I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_04 5:32

It's like, how does that have to do with acting?

SPEAKER_10 5:34

What if I don't want to be in a musical? Is that okay if I don't want to be in a musical? And so I feel like it's not okay, and no one's telling me it's not okay, but I feel it in the room.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

Well, you talked about taking vocal lessons with Aretha Franklin.

SPEAKER_10 5:48

Well, I I then was like, forget it.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

If you don't have confidence in it though, you can always work on it. It's never too late to learn anything. It's like, oh, you can only learn piano when you're six years old. Yeah. It's like, no, you can learn piano whenever.

SPEAKER_10 6:07

But how do you get through the moments? Okay, let's say I took a singing lesson with Aretha. Inevitably, there's gonna be stuff that's just like, I just don't know what to do. Because you're asking me to do something with my voice, and you can't show me because your vocal cords exist in your neck.

SPEAKER_04 6:25

A good teacher and mine exist in my neck. A good teacher will help you find your find your neck. A good teacher will help you find your neck, okay? And let you do what your neck does best.

SPEAKER_10 6:36

This is what's hard about physical skills. You know, I never learned to swim on earth. Someone's trying to teach you how to use your own body. I don't I can't use my own body.

SPEAKER_04 6:46

Yeah. You can you can't use your own body? That's a I'm sorry. I said yeah, but that's a crazy sentence, Reka. If there's one person that you can use your body, it should be you.

SPEAKER_07 6:56

It's I'm third on the list. It's like a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. He places third in his own look-alike contest. I'm like, it's not me. It's like Aretha Franklin, a dog, and then me.

SPEAKER_04 7:10

I think it's just about training. It's just the idea of people are like, oh my god, you're so good at guitar, I could never do that. It's like, I you think you think I picked this up when I was a baby?

SPEAKER_10 7:20

I guess I do have a thing.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

You're not born with it.

SPEAKER_10 7:22

I will think like if someone compliments a skill I have, I'm like, anyone on earth can do this.

SPEAKER_04 7:28

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_10 7:29

And then if I compliment someone else's skill and they're like, you can do this. I'm like, you literally know nothing. I can't do that.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

What do people compliment about you?

SPEAKER_10 7:39

Well.

SPEAKER_04 7:43

Take your time.

SPEAKER_10 7:44

Did I and I did I say when or did I say if they were to?

SPEAKER_04 7:48

If ever someone were to finally, I think is what you said.

SPEAKER_10 7:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:51

If someone were to finally for once, compliment me.

SPEAKER_10 7:55

Uh I I have famously been told I try really hard.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

Yeah. Yeah, you do. You do. I also think you're very funny, you're very smart, and you're very talented. And I think, frankly, you're a very good actor. So that's why I think that you should try and pursue this in the afterlife. Okay. It doesn't have to be movies and TV, maybe just like a local afterlife community production.

SPEAKER_10 8:23

Wow. An afterlife community production could be really fun. William Shakespeare is running afterlife card. You think no?

SPEAKER_04 8:30

Not Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_10 8:31

Not Shakespeare. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

Not you.

SPEAKER_10 8:34

Wait, sorry. You kind of flipped your position. First it was not Shakespeare, now it's not me.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

I'm saying not not you, you you don't do Shakespeare. Do something else.

SPEAKER_10 8:43

Which is the worst part of the equation? Who is messing up who in that equation?

SPEAKER_04 8:47

I think I guess I could how about I say it as Shakespeare would kind of mess you up.

SPEAKER_10 8:52

He'd kind of taint what's going on with me.

SPEAKER_04 8:54

Yeah, let's say it that way.

SPEAKER_10 8:57

He'd ruin my oeuvre.

SPEAKER_04 8:59

That's right. Okay. That's right.

SPEAKER_10 9:01

I like that. Who else is running? I'm trying to think of other community productions that I've seen out here.

SPEAKER_04 9:07

Well, Sonnheim. But that's a musical. And I Sonnheim's always gonna be musical.

SPEAKER_10 9:11

I can't with that.

unknown 9:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 9:14

I can't with that.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

And that's gonna be big. Sonnenheim's not gonna do it small. When I What about the the do you think the character of Guffman from Waiting for Guffman, do you think he's his name's not Guffman? But you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_10 9:26

Because he dies.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

What's his name in Waiting for Guffman?

SPEAKER_10 9:29

Do you want me to take time to look that up? Nah, it's fine.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

It's like Corky Vaughn. It's Corky. Something Corky's definitely dead. Corky's gotta be dead.

SPEAKER_10 9:38

But isn't the whole premise of that movie that it's like a farcically bad movie or bad bar a bad production?

SPEAKER_04 9:44

I think it's a good production. I think it's silly, but I think it's good. For community production, I think it's accurate for a community production. And I think that's would be right up your alley.

SPEAKER_10 9:53

And you know what? It's about the people.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

It's about the people. It's about your best friend being a little fairy.

SPEAKER_10 9:58

This is what I'm saying. Miss Barry was like, no, and I was like, I'm out. I'm out of here. My best friend didn't get to be a fairy. You can kiss my ass. I'm not helping you. I'm not getting you out of this one, Miss Barry. Bye-bye. Yeah, it's about the people. So I'll hit up Quirky. I'll try it.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

Yeah. Quirky.

SPEAKER_10 10:25

Romano?

unknown 10:26

No.

SPEAKER_10 10:26

No, that's a movie. What is the name in Murphy Brown? Quirky is the name of one of the reporters. Sorry, I guess we can look this up at commercial. I guess I can't bring up any references, but everyone else is allowed to.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

Speaking of everybody else. Somebody else we got on the show. This is a person who I am a huge fan of. Yes. I've read their books. I've helped solve their crimes in my mind. Please welcome the show, Ercule Poirot.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Hello. Hello. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_04 10:58

Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

I'll take your hand. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_05 11:07

Stretch. Stretch. What are you doing? That's just cool. Well, he is really nervous.

SPEAKER_10 11:12

Well, he doesn't have very nervous. Such a big mystery novel fan. Oh, yeah. Agatha Christie fan. And uh we should really say Poirot fan.

SPEAKER_04 11:22

I'm a huge Poirot fan.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

She gets a lot of credit, but I'm doing the work.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

You know, you're doing all the work.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Yeah. And I think what's great about you is you do an excellent job. You're always putting the pieces together, but you really do a good job of incorporating somebody else who may be like a victim or uh be a witness around, and you use them to help you solve your crimes.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Absolutely. There's no one who isn't helpful. You know, you can go to a gas station and then when you're talking to the attendants there, they might have something, some information that you didn't even realize was going to crack the case because it's it's a psychological thing, you know what I mean? It's not um about uh facts, it's about motive. How do you do know how you died? Yes.

SPEAKER_11 12:06

Well, it's a little actually.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

This has been very interesting.

SPEAKER_10 12:11

This is a very interesting. I love an interesting yes. So we were filming a cable access show on Earth. Okay, and something happened. A spark fused Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

We were in the middle, we were holding the microphones, and we were like, and then we got we got shocked, and it I don't think it was storming out.

SPEAKER_10 12:32

We don't know what it was. We kind of assume maybe it was a thunderstorm, but maybe I I guess there could there have been foul play?

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Absolutely. There's rarely a deaf without uh foul play. Rarely rarely there's rarely a deaf play in a retirement community when people die of old age. Foul play. Yes, because why do you think so you you're saying it why it isn't even raining out? No, I don't remember it raining.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

It's it's a windowless room because for sound.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Of course, yeah, I understand that. Yeah, so he has a podcast. I have a podcast. You have a podcast? Yes, in the afterlife, I started a podcast. Yes, I have.

SPEAKER_10 13:06

What's it called?

SPEAKER_02 13:06

It's called How Did I Die?

SPEAKER_10 13:08

How did I die? You should have known.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Yeah, it's it's a little bit of a competition I was surprised you guys invited me here, actually. Because I do think people listen to one or the other.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

Oh my gosh. We would love to we would love to go on your show.

SPEAKER_10 13:22

I eventually so unbelievably flattered you said our show is in competition with yours.

SPEAKER_04 13:28

Truly.

SPEAKER_10 13:29

I think we're creaking in at like 15 viewers or something.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

We're good. It's getting up there.

SPEAKER_10 13:33

It's getting up there.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yeah, that's pretty good. I have 15, 16, so yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

Only 15 or 16?

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Well, it's very oversaturated.

SPEAKER_04 13:39

And I think this is also it's oversaturated, but I think what you said earlier is also true where Agatha Christie gets a lot of the credit. Yes, but you do the work.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

If Agatha Christie was up here, which she is. She is. She's dead. She she, you know, I actually have a bit of a bone to pick with her because she died, and then she released my story around the same time because she wanted to have the last word on how I die. You know what I mean? Does this make sense? Yes. Yes. And and so she sort of stole my son there.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

Well, how did she die?

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Uh old edge is is allegedly what it is, but as we discussed earlier, that's impossible. It's the one case I can't crack.

SPEAKER_04 14:19

Now that would be fascinating.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

I know.

SPEAKER_10 14:23

I need to get on it. That is so meta and so beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 14:27

It is I I hate to be selfish with my with your time, but I do need to dig into maybe our potential murder.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Yeah, of course. Well, first question is this Did you have any enemies?

SPEAKER_04 14:39

I mean, of course.

SPEAKER_10 14:40

Well, I was a pretty successful comedian, so I can imagine there are people that maybe jealous or something about the stuff I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Yeah, of course. Because everybody wants to be doing what you're doing. I mean, what you you what what kind of comedian were you?

SPEAKER_10 14:59

There's stand-up, there's actor, there's writer. I I did acting acting and then a writing and then um improv, which is sort of like you make it up, and then I wrote sketch. I kind of had to do a lot of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Okay, so you had so that actually opens you up to a lot of different enemies because you could have one from every single pool. Most person has an enemy in each pool.

SPEAKER_10 15:23

Yeah. Um and each social circle. Yeah, gen generally people have one enemy in each one of their circles.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Exactly. Sounds like you have at least seven circles of comedy to be uh worried about.

SPEAKER_10 15:37

Okay, and we'll leave. You he was trying comedy and like he was doing little videos.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

They weren't good enough that anybody would want to kill me over.

SPEAKER_10 15:45

You don't think?

SPEAKER_04 15:46

I think my number one enemy, and I don't even know, and this is a mystery in itself, is one time I got a comment on a video. Right. And there was somebody that claimed that I was their bully in high school. And I don't remember bullying anybody when I was in high school. Bullies never remember.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

Bullies think they're being normal.

SPEAKER_04 16:02

This is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Bullies think they're being normal and fun. Sometimes you think you're being fun. I've I've I've experienced uh a bullying somewhat.

SPEAKER_04 16:11

You've you have bullied.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

It's funny if you say I've experienced bullying someone. I have experienced it. That happened to me. I thought that we were having fun, and then I found out later that I was actually terrorizing this kid.

SPEAKER_04 16:23

This m this must be what it was. Yeah. And that's why I'm concerned that this person might be coming after me.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Well, what kind of bullying did he say you did?

SPEAKER_04 16:31

Well, what they said was uh it it was in reference to a video where I called the town of people I grew up with a bunch of honkies because they were 99% white people.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

And they said this person was a popular kid and a bully, and they bullied me in particular, and I can't believe he would say this after we welcomed him into our community.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Oh my god. That's an enemy. That is an enemy. That's an enemy. That's an enemy. Have you guys seen uh 30 rock? Yes. It's the Liz Lemon effect where you felt like you were being bullied, but you were actually bullying.

SPEAKER_10 17:08

I cannot believe I'm hearing Liz Lemon effect from Hercule Poirot.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

I have to say, afterlife, I've caught up on a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

We had Elaine Stritch on the show, also, who plays Jack Doneggy's mom.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Thank you for that little background information. It had slipped my brain. Yeah. That's incredible. Jack Don, he is an incredible guy. The suit, Jack Donnegy, is an incredible guy. He's my idol.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

He is your idol? He's my favorite character on the show. I agree. He actually is also my favorite character in the show. But I can't believe that you would idolize anybody. I feel like so many people now should be idolizing you.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Well, it's when I was on Earth, I didn't idolize anyone. Yeah. I really didn't. When you're king shit, why would you idolize anybody? Exactly. I walked in a room, people were nervous, they were excited, they were scared. Like I had a lot of power.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

It's been very humbling to be in the afterlife. Because there are a lot of powerful people here. And I'm sure there's a lot of detectives up here.

SPEAKER_10 18:06

Absolutely. Holmes. Holmes famously died. Nancy Drew.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Can we not? Not Holmes. No, I come on. Okay, sorry. This is my competition. Like, come on. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 18:19

I think I will say I the only other thing I'll say about him is I think you're a much better detective. I feel like he's sloppy.

SPEAKER_10 18:27

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

He's getting into trouble constantly.

SPEAKER_10 18:30

Well, I think he I he's an addict, not to vilify addiction, but he's an addict.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

I've never taken an ounce of anything in my entire life, and I'm solving crimes. The most I've done is eat too much bread. That's the most I've ever done.

SPEAKER_04 18:43

I know. I feel like you're very put together. Uh-huh. You got you got your mustache that's so very neat and particular. Very particular. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You have great facial hair. Thank you very much. Oh my god, I feel so I've literally got chilled. I'm like chilled.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

This is so huge for you.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

Uh, can you tell me what your favorite murder was that you ever solved?

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Oh, okay. So this is one that was never uh totally publicized.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah. And it was uh one that happened to a neighbor of mine. Uh that neighbor uh disappeared one day.

SPEAKER_05 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

And we didn't know what had happened. Everybody said, Oh, who don't worry about it. So crazy to say. Yeah, people were like, stop reading. Yes, I get it. So suspicious. It was so suspicious.

SPEAKER_04 19:27

Was it the person that said don't worry about it?

SPEAKER_02 19:29

It was. Ultimately, yeah. Because everybody kept trying to tell me, oh, he just went to Florida. It wasn't, it was too cold here for you.

SPEAKER_06 19:36

You really do help him solve.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Yes, thank you so much. So I would love to get your advice on future. Oh, please.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Anytime somebody I I mean, I'd love to come on your podcast and try and help you. So the people that come on your podcast, I will say, your the podcast is How Did I Die? It's people who came here and are unsure of their death circumstances, like ours.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

And I assume many times it's murder.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Exactly. Every time it's murder.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Every time it's a 100 out of 100%.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

So the question is answered. How did I die? Murder.

SPEAKER_11 20:09

Murder.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

Well, but you want to know more. You want to know how, how.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

But you, as you guys know, it's very important social clips. Even in the afterlife, social clips are important. It's so important.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

You gotta get clips.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

So I do say that at the top of every single clip. How did I die? Murder. And then we break it down. So even if you only have five seconds of of of of of of of attention. Yes, this is very good for you guys to know. Even if you have five seconds of attention, you know how the person died.

SPEAKER_10 20:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Murder. Murder.

SPEAKER_10 20:40

I I do want to dig into this before we bring up the next guest. Because you we I possibly have seven or more enemies. At least.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Because it sounds like you tried everything.

SPEAKER_04 20:51

I mean, I You just kept trying and trying and trying.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

I sketch. Right. Character. We kept going one of these one of these issues. I didn't even watch doing them. I wasn't just trying. I was doing them. You were doing them. You were getting paid. Always getting paid for your work. Well, that's not even very common in comedy. That's not common in comedy. Detective different.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

You were always getting paid.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

I always got paid. Unless I was on vacation and then I had room and board paid for.

SPEAKER_04 21:21

Oh, sometimes they would just say, Oh, you thank you. Has anybody gotten murdered in a visa?

SPEAKER_08 21:27

Because then you're like done that. And then like we'll give you room and board.

unknown 21:31

We'll give you room and board.

SPEAKER_04 21:32

We'll pay for your flight. Come on out, we'll solve the murder.

SPEAKER_10 21:34

First class?

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Sorry, we can't.

SPEAKER_10 21:37

Yeah, not often. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so wait. I have seven or more enemies. Well, Lee has at least one.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

I know I have the one.

SPEAKER_10 21:45

You have the one. What how do we go about narrowing this down into the murder that inevitably happened and the motives?

SPEAKER_02 21:54

So basically, what you need to do is you need to go around and talk to someone you think has nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

God, there's so many people that probably had nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

So, like, yeah, perfect. So that's good. You should have like 50 people to talk to. Okay. Okay. Uh, who's someone just completely random in your life that maybe knows you but not that well? And they're alive or they're dead? They're alive.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

Uh, my uh fourth grade teacher, Mr. Smith.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Oh my god, well, that's a perfect place to start because he maybe saw the bullying. Oh my god, yes. So, what you need to see is how the bullying fallout affected the bully's life. Right? Because let's say you bullied him, maybe he wanted to be a hairdresser, and you bullied him, and so he never cut hair again, and now he grows up and he has long hair and then he tripped over it and falls and dies, right? Let's say that's what's happened. Let's just say.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

Okay. I don't think I would bully somebody out of becoming a hairdresser. I don't honestly I don't know even what form that would take.

SPEAKER_10 22:52

I do sometimes feel bullied, you know, because you don't have hair on top of your head, and I'm wondering if that's a comment. You guys have opposite hair.

SPEAKER_04 22:59

We have opposite hair.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

On top, on bottom. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:02

That's upside down.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

So did you have someone in your life who was jealous of your hair or wanted to turn that to the case?

SPEAKER_10 23:10

That's so nice. Um, I am unfortunately Indian and Unfortunately. Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_04 23:16

Hi, I'm Ray Shaw, and I'm unfortunately.

SPEAKER_07 23:20

What I have to say is that people have a really specific understanding of what Indian hair should look like.

SPEAKER_10 23:25

And so I actually uh was made fun of for my hair by a lot of people in my family for a long time. So potentially a link. Yeah, I guess. Oh, yeah, if Walid was in my family, which he's trying to be.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

And if he uh bullied someone out of being a hairdresser. Right.

SPEAKER_10 23:40

My first theory. So you're how often do episodes your podcast takes? It feels like it would take years to accomplish what.

SPEAKER_04 23:47

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_10 23:48

He just jumped, he just solved this whole thing about Because you you what are you we So we're landing on the hairdresser?

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Yes, right.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

We are landing on the hairdresser.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

What we do is we follow that path first. Follow the thread. Yes, and then it will unlock another thread. It's never the first theory. Okay. It's always like the 15th. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:08

At least But sometimes then it goes back to the first. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Often it wins. Often it will circle back to the first.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

But you need all that other stuff to find out something like the um the weapon, you know? And are we just pontificating or are we asking? Are we like calling Mr. Smith? I would call him if he'll pick up. How old do you think he is now?

SPEAKER_04 24:29

Um, he's got he was probably in his 40s when I was eight. So he's probably in his 70s now.

SPEAKER_10 24:36

He's going to love this. He's gonna he honestly will love this. Yeah. How many of us wouldn't be so excited to hear from a former student to be asked about their murder?

SPEAKER_02 24:45

That's something they don't talk about in detective books. It's like everybody's so excited. I come into a room and they're like, I have something to say, I have something to say. I'm like, sure, show, sure. I go through you one by one.

SPEAKER_04 24:54

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

It's fun.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

Yeah, I think that uh I think the book might have been five little pigs, but it's a murder where it's a cold case from like 30 years ago, and you have to go back and interview all the people.

SPEAKER_10 25:05

You recommended this to me and I um have it on hold at the Afterlife Library. Oh, that's amazing! Um, so don't like spoil it.

SPEAKER_04 25:11

I won't spoil it.

SPEAKER_10 25:12

And I know both of you know, but don't spoil it.

SPEAKER_04 25:14

But it's what I'm gonna say is it's a cold case, which is like sometimes you gotta recollect things from 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Yeah, exactly. Oh that's fun.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

That's fun.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Now, how long can you hold the book at the library here? Because it sounds like it's been on hold for a minute.

SPEAKER_10 25:30

It's been on hold for a minute because so many it's so popular. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Is that nice to hear? It's really nice to hear, but it's it's kind of like Taylor Swift with um uh Scudier Braun. I barely get any money from it. Yeah. I have to rewrite all the books myself. To get any money from it.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Here's what really happened.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Here's what really happened.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

Your own kind of like if I did it.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Yes. I woke up. I woke up.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Oh, so it's just it's the exact same thing. It's a lot about making money. It's the same booking from the first person.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Yeah, it's exactly the same.

SPEAKER_07 26:01

I woke up. I woke up. I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes. I got out of event.

SPEAKER_10 26:06

I got out of event. Have you read my book? No, no, but I'm a writer. Oh, okay. So I can understand.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

It's one of the comedy things that you tried to do.

SPEAKER_10 26:14

Amazing. The sequence of events. So if you ever need help writing any of your stories down, I'd love that.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

I'm super available. Oh my god, I love that. Yeah, because this might how long does this take? This is some full time, no? No, this is not full time. Oh, not full time.

SPEAKER_04 26:28

No, this is like one one hour every other week.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Okay, yeah, great. That's awesome. We should do it after a class or something. I like to do my work.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

After whose class?

SPEAKER_02 26:38

After um, I have you guys not taken the ceramics class?

SPEAKER_10 26:42

Oh, this ceramics class is so popular, you just kind of assume you made a hamburger.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

I made a little hamburger on my ceramics class.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

I didn't know you didn't know what you were taking out of your pocket. That's really good. See, this is what I'm saying. You gotta get into hobbies and stuff. Find something that you could might be good at.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Take this class with me, please. There's always openings. How people drop, right? What did they teach you? What do you mean what did they teach me? They taught me how to make a little hamburger. I don't understand. That's the first lesson.

SPEAKER_04 27:18

The first lesson is hamburger.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Then you, if you do good at hamburger, which I am not graduated yet, clearly. You have to do another one? No, you do french fry. Very difficult.

SPEAKER_10 27:29

What is the objective of the and do you ever make anything large like a pot or a bowl or something? No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Little food.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

Tiny food.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Why would I make a pot? Is that I could buy it at the st uh hefensal.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

You can't buy a little ceramic hamburger at the store.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

No, you have to you create things that are hard to find.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

That honestly That's actually very beautiful. That is beautiful. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_10 27:52

Wow. Well, Poirot, I'm gonna ask you a little bit more about hamburger creation while we take a break. So we'll be right back. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 28:02

Regular size food. It's not too big and it's also not even too small. Regular size food. Um, can I have some? Yes, please. It's the best. Regular size food.

SPEAKER_10 28:13

Try it now! And we're back. Our next guest is a piece of history.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

I totally agree. I think I talked about this a long time ago where I wanted to I think I described it as like the missing link.

SPEAKER_05 28:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

The first being who went from being not a human to human.

SPEAKER_10 28:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

And I think pretty close to that we have here on the couch.

SPEAKER_10 28:39

Pretty close to that we have here on the couch. Please welcome Lucy the first human.

unknown 28:46

Hi.

SPEAKER_10 28:46

Are you okay, Lucy? Cold. Do you want a blanket? Yes. Yes. Oh my god. Lucy, we are so appreciative of you.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Mad. You're mad? Mad. Why? I'm first human.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

I'm what? Like number thousand guest?

SPEAKER_04 29:06

Oh, you thought maybe we should get our guests. It should have been you and then like your neighbor. You making fun? No, no, no, no, no. We really appreciate you coming on the show. You're very early on in our eventually. Well, we're gonna have thousands of guests.

SPEAKER_10 29:26

You'll look very early on in the we it was not, so sometimes it's just scheduling stuff.

SPEAKER_04 29:31

You sweating.

SPEAKER_10 29:33

It is sometimes just it's just we are really honored you're here. And the fact that we've made you mad, I don't want to make it about us. It makes us like.

SPEAKER_04 29:40

And now that I think about it, at minimum, you should have at least been the first guest on this episode. That would have definitely at least made sense.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

Doesn't help.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Yeah, it didn't help.

SPEAKER_10 29:47

It doesn't help. It doesn't. We're so sorry. We're sorry. That's our big oversight. I think the next time we do anything and there's a first, we invite the first human.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 29:59

So first birthday for your kid.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_10 30:04

I get to come.

SPEAKER_04 30:06

At my kid's first birthday, you get to come?

SPEAKER_03 30:08

You're not even gonna be there.

SPEAKER_04 30:10

I won't even be there.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

What? Because he's dead.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

My kid's still alive. Oh, we're dead.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Been dead so long, I forget I'm dead. Did you have any kids? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

Yeah. So many. So many.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Kind of my second job is have kids.

SPEAKER_10 30:22

No, it's my third job. This is what Walid wishes women did. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:28

Don't put that on. I just assume Wally bad guy. No, I'm not a bad guy. Wally doesn't invite me to be first guest. Well, neither did Ray. Wally thinks women only should have babies. Yeah, it sucks. I think, right?

SPEAKER_04 30:41

That's something you think? Yeah, that is not something I think. I mean, do I think women are the only beings that can have babies?

SPEAKER_10 30:48

People with uteruses can have babies.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

Yeah, walk that back, Walid.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Walk that back. Come on, Walid. Yeah, Lucy.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Yeah, Lucy.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

I've been here a long time. Uterus capable people. Sure.

SPEAKER_10 31:02

Should.

SPEAKER_04 31:04

Must. Not must. Can. Could.

SPEAKER_10 31:07

Right. Lucy, I'm so sorry. That's okay.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

I'm sorry. Now, when you were around on Earth, was the diff I've I I gotta imagine. I've like I've seen primates. This is what I'll say. And not that you're primate. No, you are primates. We're primates, right?

SPEAKER_03 31:25

Yes. He's nervous now trying to get exactly right when talking to me. Go ahead, Wally.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

I don't know. What is your political correctness stance? Very simple. You've been around for millions of years. Very simple, very simple. Very simple. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

That's my answer.

unknown 31:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 31:42

Political correctness is very simple.

SPEAKER_04 31:44

Very simple. Okay. Okay, then I should have no problem. I don't need to tiptoe around all this. I just feel like uh the uh men. Yeah, men men? Still scared. Why am I not allowed to be?

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Still scared.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

The male and female beings looked probably very similar at the time when you were around. To now? Compared to now. Look similar to each other. To each other. Just the way that like chimpanzees look like one another.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

Well, actually, have something to say. Yeah. So you know, I travel around, or my body travel around to many museums. Of course. Different museum, museum, museum, museum. Yeah. My skeleton. And then picture of what they think I looked like. They're wrong.

SPEAKER_04 32:27

They're wrong.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

Look at me. I look like you guys.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

You look nothing like that.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

I look like you guys. You look like us. I'm actually cutie.

SPEAKER_10 32:34

It is so crazy. They don't I I've never seen them say that you're cutie.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

I'm a cutie.

SPEAKER_10 32:41

I feel that the point they're trying to make almost is look how different humans used to look. Yeah. Look at this. Isn't this crazy?

SPEAKER_03 32:49

We always want to feel like everyone different from us at all times of history.

SPEAKER_04 32:54

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

Now, I have a question that I've been thinking about since I learned you were gonna be on the show.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

Now you do consider yourself the first human.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

I am the first human.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Right. You are the first human.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

What was your parents' deal?

SPEAKER_03 33:09

What do you mean? Oh, don't do this, Walid. You're doing chicken or egg, Walid. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 33:13

Chicken or egg. I'm just saying, if you're the egg, what was the chicken? Sorry? If you're the first human, what was the chicken?

SPEAKER_03 33:21

Oh, they were just look, they were just stupid than me. So you know I came out and I was smarter. I have more brain capability.

SPEAKER_04 33:30

I see. Sentience. Right.

SPEAKER_10 33:32

Why can't you accept her parents were stupid?

SPEAKER_04 33:34

They were just stupid. I agree with you. I agree with you 100%. No, I I accept that your parents were dumbasses. Thank you. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Compared to me, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Compared to you. Which I will say is unfortunately that doesn't change that much throughout human history. Nowadays there's a lot of people and their parents are dumbasses.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Right?

SPEAKER_03 33:54

Not like mine.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

Not like yours.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Mine like eat rocks, scratch butts on each other.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

Scratch butts on each other.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

That's not an effective way to get the itch out.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

No, you're just now that you're doubling the itch.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

Maybe that's not what that was about.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

You think it was a sex thing?

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Maybe that was something else. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 34:11

Did you have siblings?

SPEAKER_03 34:13

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

And how were you the oldest sibling?

SPEAKER_03 34:17

Smartest. Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Parents stupid. Dress me smart.

SPEAKER_10 34:22

So you became that must be so crushing.

SPEAKER_04 34:25

To look around to be like, I'm a fucking human and these dolts.

SPEAKER_10 34:28

See, I had the more it's interesting. This is very telling. I was thinking from the siblings' point of view to be like, our one sister is the human. And we are nothing. I don't think they were smart enough to have thoughts like that.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Yeah. I put myself out there more, you know? Really? I was like noticed. I didn't notice. Yeah. I was like, huh. I can you instead of eating a rock, I'll use it as a tool.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

Tools. Tools are huge. Mm-hmm. Tools. Tools are huge. Tools are huge in terms of like uh figuring out intelligence. Yeah. Like otters and chimpanzees. Like they use tools.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

Yes. And I was like, okay, instead of throwing my poop in a hole, I'll use it as paint on a wall of a cave. I wonder which is smarter.

SPEAKER_07 35:18

One seems like disposing waste.

SPEAKER_04 35:21

That's a great question.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

The other one is like decor that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

That's a difference in time periods.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

No, poop smelled good then.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

Oh, poop used to smell good. Probably healthy, half.

SPEAKER_10 35:32

You just kind of eat grass and you eat rocks. But I kind of eat grass as a vegetarian, and I'm wondering it smells whole. I'm wondering if her sm her taste and smell is like if I would poop and she'd be like, Yeah, that smells good. And I'd be like, no, I don't. Rick, I'm right here. Why are you talking to me about her? She's right here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 35:52

Oh, what and I don't think I'm not even saying this is just a difference in uh human history, but nowadays those that poop in the hole are actually smarter than the people that paint with their poop.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 36:03

It's just a change. It's just a change.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Things change.

SPEAKER_04 36:05

Things change.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

That is inevitable. The only thing you can't avoid in life is change. That's very true.

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Really deep.

SPEAKER_10 36:12

Is there any change? Because you have been alive longer than anyone. Yes. What is like you can you can give like a top three if it's too hard to pick one, but like big changes that you're like, whoa, that shocked. I have change I want.

SPEAKER_04 36:25

You still are waiting on a change.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

Yes. Can you uh who listened to this show? Uh Living World listened to this show?

SPEAKER_04 36:33

No, the Living World does not listen to this show.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

We can haunt people. Yeah, we can pass need to send message to Living World. Yes. My skeleton, it go from museum to museum to museum. You know. I want a blouse.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

On the bones?

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 36:50

You know what? Okay. Because look I've seen um Lucy the First Human like pictures online and articles, and your chest is hanging out.

SPEAKER_06 37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 37:00

And that is totally fine if that's what you want. But I can see right now in your performance garb, you're wearing a blouse. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 37:07

Yeah. And yeah, you normally are very covered in hair, fully like almost ape style. Which we are apes.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

Why are you like I want a Brazilian and I want a blouse.

SPEAKER_04 37:21

You want a Brazilian and a blouse.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

You want to be waxed? Yes. Look at me. I like I like how I look now.

SPEAKER_06 37:31

No, I'm cutie. You look really cute.

SPEAKER_10 37:33

Anyone can look cutie, even if you're covered with cuts. Cut the shit hair.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Eureka! I want to be hairless and in a blouse, and I want ugg boots.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

You want ugg boots?

SPEAKER_10 37:45

I'm noticing that Lucy's face is kind of what we define as big boots.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

Why are you talking to me, she is right here. She is right here.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

You guys have um you guys got a frappuccino nearby?

SPEAKER_04 37:57

We can get you a frappuccino after the show off that book.

SPEAKER_03 38:00

I absolutely cannot.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

I'll get her Frappuccino. We just got an espresso. Where? I got an espresso.

SPEAKER_10 38:05

You you're gonna make a Frappuccino?

SPEAKER_01 38:07

A Frappuccino? Frappuccino.

SPEAKER_08 38:10

It's not Frappuccino. No. I guess that kind of sounds like Paw Patrol. Frappuccino. Or Alpuccino.

SPEAKER_04 38:18

Yeah, I'll get you an Al Pacino, Lucy. I'm sorry about that. That's good too. You want Okay. You like Alpuccino?

SPEAKER_10 38:24

Lucy, I'm so sh- I here's what I'll say. It's not my place to tell anyone what they should look like. It's like when people say you don't need to wear makeup. If you want to wear makeup, wear makeup.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

Now Rayka nervous. I know what's she doing? Whatever she's about to say, she does not have to. Keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_10 38:39

I'm just like, I'm just so shocked that the first human is still following the trends of people in our time, 2026.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

Well, you know, that you want to keep it. What's wrong with that? I want aloe tennis skirt. So what? Aloe tennis skirt.

unknown 38:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:58

Is that the ALO or yeah? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Yeah, aloe. Not like the creature.

SPEAKER_04 39:03

I didn't know like the L or whatever. Because you probably could have had an aloe, like with the actual leaves.

SPEAKER_03 39:08

Right, there was not good clothes when I was alive. And probably not even a priority.

SPEAKER_10 39:14

You know what? And you know what? I want it. Shame on me. You want it now. Who fucking cares why? Yes. You want it now. So okay, I'm gonna write this down. You want we're gonna haunt some of these museums. You want a blouse? Blouse. Mm-hmm. Aloe tennis skirt.

SPEAKER_04 39:30

A Brazilian.

SPEAKER_10 39:30

A Brazilian wax.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

Pretending to typebreaker. Typebreaker. For real, send real message. Okay. Ug boots.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

Ug boots. The short ones. Now, this you want on the models that people make of you. Yes. Okay. Because the bones are bones.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

No, on the bones.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

You want them on Do you want them to use the bones to make your model?

SPEAKER_03 39:52

No, what? No, the bones hang. And on the bones you put a blouse.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Ugh boots. Okay. Aloe tennis skirt.

SPEAKER_04 40:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

And the hat that the piano player from high school musical wears.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

I know which one you're talking about. The one she rips off at the end. Yeah. Yeah. She likes takes off. I actually had long hair the whole time. You guys didn't even know it.

SPEAKER_10 40:11

It's so difficult to understand if you do or don't watch musicals.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

I love musicals. I like really can't keep track. I sang at the beginning of this episode and it was beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Sorry! Flying!

SPEAKER_03 40:27

That's not a star in heaven the weekend. Thank you, Lucy. Yes, of course. You get me. I get it. I get it. Just because I'm old first human doesn't mean I'm like left in the dust. No, no, I wouldn't have. You're all surprised, I know. Cool, trendy stuff. I'm not surprised. You all surprised.

SPEAKER_10 40:48

I'm taking it back. Do you want anything else? Do you want do you want something done with your hair? Do you want makeup? Do you want no hair? Oh well, hair all waxed. Yeah, all so a Brazilian. Hair all waxed. Is it Brazilian all it's all gone? You want a body Brazilian. Body Brazilian. It's just yeah, because okay, great. Body.

SPEAKER_04 41:07

Now, what I'm curious about is I believe you've been dead for over 13 million years. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_10 41:14

Hey, but I don't understand time. I said 5,000 years once, and everyone was up my fucking asshole. Well, you said Dracula was 5,000. You just said 13 million, and I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_04 41:24

I think you've been dead for about 13 million years. And what I'm curious about is what is it like existing in the afterlife? I like obviously you probably live at 40. Yes. Bored bigger than that. Bored to the point of like mental like I feel like it would drive me crazy to be around for 13 minutes.

SPEAKER_10 41:41

What do you do to keep occupied? And to I mean, you know, we just heard about I'm not texting, I'm just keeping track of time. Didn't think you were texting.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 41:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

Too good of a student, Rick guy. I would think you weren't. You would think I wasn't? Yeah, of course not. You could never text during work.

SPEAKER_04 41:59

No chance.

SPEAKER_03 42:00

Oh, I thought you meant you would think I wasn't a good student. No, no, you are. You just never do nothing wrong, you know. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like you've done things wrong in like Ugh, I've done everything you can ever do. That's the thing. You had so much time, you probably tried everything. I've tried everything. You tried to kill myself from here to see if there's another place to do it.

SPEAKER_04 42:18

I was just about to ask this. Is there a next? Have you searched for the next?

SPEAKER_03 42:22

I'm trying. Nothing works here.

SPEAKER_04 42:25

Well, no, but there's a thing in the in like the good place. Which this is nothing like the good place. But there's a thing in the good place where at the very end they can kind of be like, I'm done. Yeah. And then they vanish off.

SPEAKER_03 42:38

Someone let me go.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

That's what you're looking for. Please. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 42:42

Please kill me again.

SPEAKER_04 42:43

Why don't you just play like the newest video games?

SPEAKER_06 42:45

Wait, you said kill me again. How did you die?

SPEAKER_04 42:48

Oh, good question.

SPEAKER_06 42:50

Don't know.

SPEAKER_04 42:51

Don't know. Wait a minute. Oh, wait. This is We'll save that question for a little bit.

SPEAKER_10 42:56

We'll save that question.

SPEAKER_04 42:56

We'll save that question for a little bit later.

SPEAKER_10 42:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 43:00

Actually, I think we may as well just get a cursor.

SPEAKER_10 43:02

I think we gotta cut to Grossa because I just okay?

SPEAKER_09 43:07

I'll be right back. Come on down to Totutti's Italian pizzeria. We got all the newest pies. Pepperoni pie, cheese pie, mixarandom vegetable on a plate, facida your pie. The best pizza outside our earth. Only at Totutti's.

SPEAKER_10 43:29

And we're back to my favorite segment of the episode.

SPEAKER_04 43:33

That's right. We love introducing these people to you, but we also love introducing them to each other. Please welcome back to the show, Ercule Poirot and Lucy.

SPEAKER_10 43:41

The first human. Hello. Now there is already a natural jumping off point, and I and I hate to just get you started on work, Ercule, but Lucy doesn't know how she died.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

You don't know.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

No. Oh, fascinating. Did you have any enemies? So many enemies. What was your number one enemy? Could have been my parents, could have been my siblings. Her parents were dumb and her siblings were dumb.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Oh, okay. So that brings them all into the picture as potential consistent.

SPEAKER_04 44:13

You can always you can always count on someone who's dumb to potentially be a suspect.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Absolutely. Rarely do they actually do it because it's too easy. You know what I mean? With a murderer, it's usually harder. Yeah, so you you let me ask you this. Did you bully anyone or were you bullied? And did you make anyone think they couldn't be a hairdresser?

SPEAKER_03 44:34

Bullied bullied lots of people.

SPEAKER_04 44:36

You bully bully lots of people.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

Went around going, you're stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid.

SPEAKER_04 44:42

That's probably why I was a bully.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

Because you're around stupid people?

SPEAKER_04 44:47

Fucking always, dude.

SPEAKER_10 44:49

Fucking always. Mind you, I spent a ton of time with him.

SPEAKER_04 44:53

So I can't think of a moment in my life where I'm not around stupid people.

SPEAKER_10 44:56

I get it, Walida. I get it. It's crazy. I get it.

SPEAKER_04 44:58

Lucy, I I don't want to distract so much, but I I'm so curious. Did you give yourself the name Lucy? Or did was this something that was put on to you by later you guys?

SPEAKER_03 45:10

Why you look at me? They name me Lucy. Other people name me Lucy after they found me. What's your real name? I want a better name. Something cutie like Circia. Or Genevieve.

SPEAKER_04 45:25

And we call you Jen.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

Or but like both of these spell them so crazy.

SPEAKER_10 45:29

Certia already has a no go crazier.

SPEAKER_06 45:33

Really? Go crazier with Circe. Go crazier.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

Go off. Go off, Rayka. I spelt the name last episode.

SPEAKER_06 45:39

Circe. It starts with the cool S. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 45:42

With a dollar sign?

SPEAKER_06 45:43

No, the cool S, the super sign. The cool S.

SPEAKER_10 45:46

The uh stoosy s. Uh uh, and then it's like the tilde sign and an asterisk.

SPEAKER_03 45:54

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 45:56

And then U and then R R. Sure. Yeah. And then uh a dollar sign.

SPEAKER_04 46:04

Great.

SPEAKER_10 46:05

And then instead of an H, which is I think what you'd expect.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

I was expecting an H here.

SPEAKER_10 46:10

Yeah. I think we're gonna go uh what's kind of the vibe of an H, but it's different, like a T.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

Uh It shows a vibe of an H. You know what I mean? Because it's straight.

SPEAKER_10 46:20

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 46:21

It's it's this similar geometrically. T is giving H.

SPEAKER_07 46:25

I'm literally giving H.

SPEAKER_10 46:27

Think about it. We're gonna put a T and then um E. Two T's coming is an H. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And then an A is like an H that's like doing the YMCA and the A part.

SPEAKER_04 46:43

I see what you're saying. An A is it clapping.

SPEAKER_10 46:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

An A is an H who's clapping.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:49

I like that. That's good. For Searsha.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

Searsha. That's something cool. Like cutie. Yeah. Something like a cutie.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 46:57

Did you have like friends?

SPEAKER_03 46:59

Uh like what was your life like? I had uh uh there was a big woolly mammoth.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Oh we used to fuck. You fucked a woolly mammoth? See, I used to fuck, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 47:12

This is so interesting because like obviously the species has evolved. I do feel that we in 2026 don't wanna fuck animals. Watch it.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

Well, it's not about want or not want, it's about allowed or not. Do you think you it's because you can't that you won't? Which maybe makes you want more.

SPEAKER_04 47:33

Are you saying because woolly mammoths aren't currently because they're extinct, we're not having sex with them.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

They were cool guys.

SPEAKER_04 47:40

They were cool guys.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

They were cool.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

They do seem like the coolest big animal.

SPEAKER_10 47:45

I think we we missed out on a good big animal.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

I agree, and I think that they're trying to bring them back.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

That's true. Don't do it. Don't do it! Don't do it. Why not? I don't know, because leave us alone, man.

unknown 47:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

Leave us alone. Leave who alone?

SPEAKER_02 48:01

Just like they're trying to bring me back. She doesn't want to see our ex. That's what it is, I bet. I'll bring some back. Leave us alone.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

Maybe it was if that if it was that simple.

SPEAKER_04 48:13

Have you seen your ex up here?

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Uh yeah, I have lots of exes up here. I've been here for so long.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

Oh, okay. So you dated on Earth, Mole Mammoths, but who who have you dated in the afterlife?

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Well, we well we just whitewash. It was a fluke of a right. We were whatever. Like it barely. What do you mean whatever? I sort of, you know.

SPEAKER_04 48:35

I'm sorry that we I didn't this was not intentional.

SPEAKER_10 48:38

It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

We decided together that we weren't gonna make it weird.

SPEAKER_10 48:42

So crazy. I could never be this chill with an ex on the Well, here's what I did.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

You know the thing um where if you move into a neighborhood and you are an offender, you have to knock on every door and go, hello. Yeah. I live in your neighborhood now. I kind of did that, except I knocked on every door and I went, hello, I haven't had sex with you yet, and I'm so bored, I've been here forever. Let's have sex. So I went door to door having sex with everyone. Reverse. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

I would like to be a predator. Yeah, it's exactly that, which is weirdly exactly what I love. Um so we thought for a second it would be amazing, and then well, she went to the next door. And uh I waited, but she did not come back.

SPEAKER_04 49:20

Oh, you didn't know she was going door to door.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

I thought it yeah, I thought it would just be my dog, but it's cool. I'm sorry. That's okay. I am sorry. It was amazing. I don't know why you ran. Maybe because it was so good.

SPEAKER_03 49:35

It was really, really good. Yeah. I I don't know. I just keep running because I don't know where to go anymore. You know? But you can run home to me. I could, but then what? You know, we we keep doing this back and forth and then and then what?

SPEAKER_02 49:51

We build a family, we make a life, we we lean on each other for things, we fall in love deeper and deeper every day. And then what? I mean it just seems like, you know, i if you just don't want to be with me, don't be with me. It's not it's not like that. Should we be doing this here? I tried to have you on my podcast and you did not come. So why not do it on a different podcast?

SPEAKER_03 50:17

At least you ask me first.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

Well, what's the thing?

SPEAKER_10 50:23

I would not ever not have booked you guys together.

SPEAKER_04 50:25

Truly, from top to bottom, I'm I'm just generally sorry.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

You guys have never had this happen before?

SPEAKER_04 50:31

Never had which part of which part the two guests having had a uh sexual past? Yes. That has never happened before.

SPEAKER_10 50:39

No, really.

SPEAKER_04 50:39

I think there's some guests that maybe had a future, a sexual future.

SPEAKER_10 50:43

Yeah, but we don't ask people to report that to us.

SPEAKER_04 50:45

No, well, we did one time. We actually specifically did ask people to call back if they've had sex. We asked one time.

SPEAKER_02 50:52

It was just once then. It's okay to ask as long as you make it clear that they can also not answer. Okay. Being PC is simple. Yeah. Simple. So simple.

SPEAKER_04 51:01

It's so simple. It's well, I I'm not I'm not a dating expert. I'm not a love expert by any means. But you know, is that something that both of you are seeking in l is love in the afterlife?

SPEAKER_03 51:13

Uh me, absolutely. I did it already. Who are you in love with? I did it so many times.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

She's been around 13 million years. Well, you uh and you actually brought this up when we were together, which I thought was a little weird.

SPEAKER_08 51:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

Uh Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_04 51:31

Which one?

SPEAKER_10 51:32

Teddy or Franklin Delano? Be honest. Or Eleanor. Or Eleanor. Oh Eleanor.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

Eleanor. Eleanor.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

And that was your last guess, which is interesting. That is interesting.

SPEAKER_10 51:46

Well, our last guest was named Eleanor, but she was not Eleanor Roosevelt. And then I guess yes. You guessed her last. Sorry, okay. Yes. I thought somehow do you watch our show at all? Do you watch our show? They don't watch the show, so that's just a lucky. Okay. Okay, got it. No, that was our last guy. Well, we but to be f there's only three options, you know.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

There's only three options of the room.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

There's only three Roosevelts?

SPEAKER_02 52:14

There's probably I mean I grew up with a guy named uh Franklin. Is that one of the three that we're talking about? Yeah, it's the same name, but it's a totally different guy from that. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 52:27

It's crazy how many names you're good.

SPEAKER_02 52:29

Have you guys dated in after that? Not at all.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

I have not dated.

SPEAKER_02 52:33

Oh, wait, each other? No. I mean, well, yes.

SPEAKER_04 52:37

No, no, we have to do that. Um I have not dated anybody, but uh He's cheating on his wife. Okay, I'm not Stop doing that. I'm not cheating.

SPEAKER_10 52:49

Comes up every time because you bring it up. They asked.

SPEAKER_04 52:54

They didn't ask. I was answering.

SPEAKER_02 52:56

What was your question? Did you date do you date in the afterlife? Yes. And your answer is a cheater? Are you cheating on your wife?

SPEAKER_10 53:04

Yes, he's cheating on his wife.

SPEAKER_04 53:05

Okay, I can I respond. I have had sex with a bunch of people, but I have not dated anybody, okay? I had sex because I felt that it was okay. It's been enough enough time since I died.

SPEAKER_02 53:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 53:19

And I I think it's okay that I had sex. I stopped though, and I'm not dating somebody, but there is somebody. Her name's Rodica, and we are like Okay, you looked at me platonically.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Because you made a face.

SPEAKER_10 53:32

Yeah, you looked at me because you are Indian alert. No.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

You made face first.

SPEAKER_04 53:39

Shears said, I don't think we're Indian alert. I don't think. That was Shears' what she was saying.

SPEAKER_10 53:48

He's dating my great grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma grandma. So you made a face? Because you thought Indian alert.

SPEAKER_11 53:55

No. You had your face screamed.

SPEAKER_04 53:58

Indian alert.

SPEAKER_11 54:00

Was that what's happening? No. Looks like you're feeling nervous, Tricia.

SPEAKER_03 54:07

You tried to get me, huh?

SPEAKER_11 54:08

It's not gonna- Looks like you're feeling nervous.

SPEAKER_04 54:10

What are you doing right here? You're embarrassing yourself.

SPEAKER_03 54:13

Waleed, what neighborhood do you live in?

SPEAKER_04 54:15

What do what neighbor- I live uh I live in the neighborhood that's like small town country live in.

SPEAKER_03 54:21

I'm close. Are you close by? I'll be no, I'm close to knocking nearby there.

SPEAKER_04 54:26

Are you coming by?

SPEAKER_03 54:27

I've I'm close. I've gone to many neighborhoods and that's coming up.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Stop saying I'm close, I'm close. It makes me think about that guy. Okay, I'm close, I'm close, I'm coming.

SPEAKER_08 54:38

That's so sad. That's so sad. So you're just going to knock on his door?

SPEAKER_04 54:44

I'll be waiting for you.

SPEAKER_08 54:47

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 54:48

You know what? I do I have something special to ask you. Okay. You solve something special. You solve big mystery. Of course. You might be the only guy who helped me. How do I get out of here?

SPEAKER_02 55:03

Out of this life. Out of this life. After his death. I do not know. And I already said that if there's one mystery I don't know. He already said that.

SPEAKER_01 55:20

Yeah, the deathback of the Christine. He's already the one. Oops. I I'm wondering if you're Guevara, if every time there's a mystery you can't solve, you just the one mystery I cannot solve.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

You know what? This is really bad for my reputation. I need to take that back. That is the second mystery. I do not know. That's a good save. Really huge. That would cover the bases.

SPEAKER_04 55:52

Okay. I'll edit out the middle part.

SPEAKER_02 55:54

Yeah, I don't actually, if you don't mind, I would love to just say second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and then you edit that in if you hear mystery. So what's cool? Yeah, that's cool.

SPEAKER_10 56:03

I'll go back and if you ever say that again, I'll just You could be funny and just edit seventh into that one so that To give you some space. That could be funny.

SPEAKER_04 56:13

That could be funny. That could be funny. That could be funny.

SPEAKER_10 56:16

Wait, I we can't have her kill poiro here with two mysterious deaths not try to solve it. It's it's Chekhov's gun.

SPEAKER_04 56:25

Her death and our death.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

What do we do? Who killed us? This is the this is the seventh mystery I cannot solve. Do you know what actually is a little hard for me because in the afterlife I'm constantly getting asked to stop you're on vacation right now? I'm I mean in a sense.

SPEAKER_11 56:49

Because I was gonna say vacation for you just means we don't pay you. I get loop and you do the thing anyway.

SPEAKER_04 56:56

Also, that is such a vibe of the mysteries constantly, is like you just show up and you're the neighbor visiting for the summer and somebody gets murdered next door. Yeah. That happens constantly. You're retiring and you're like, I got roped back in again.

SPEAKER_02 57:13

I can't escape it. It's just how it works.

SPEAKER_04 57:16

Unfortunately, murders are all around us, especially in a land where we all have died.

SPEAKER_02 57:20

Everything is in murder. And if you really want me to tell you how you died, I will tell you. But then you have to live with that information. Wait, so you know? I think I do. It just kind of came to me as I was sitting here.

SPEAKER_04 57:32

Oh my god, that is how always how it happens with Hercul Purrow.

SPEAKER_10 57:35

It's so crazy because in the book you expect some big climax. No. But he'll kind of just be sitting for hours and hours, and then someone's like, Would you like tea? And he's like, I know who did it. And we're like, we've all been freaking out.

SPEAKER_04 57:46

The craziest thing that you do, and I love you, Ercuil. I love you so much. But the craziest thing that you do is you'll be with the guy who you've been working for like six weeks on this case, and you're like, I got it. And the guy's like, Oh, really? And you're like, Yeah, let's let me get everybody in a room and then I'll tell you. It's like, can you just can you tell me?

SPEAKER_02 58:05

No, it's more fun to be a group thing. Yeah, you can't do it. It is more fun. And then it comes out a little more evident. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

And somebody will like try and run away or whatever.

SPEAKER_10 58:18

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 58:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 58:19

Okay, we gotta know. Lucy, how did Lucy die? Are you comfortable knowing this information?

SPEAKER_03 58:24

Yeah, tell me something new, I dare you.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Well, you died tripping on a rock because your little sister put it there. She put it there? She put it there. She knew you were going to walk to do your final masterpiece of poop painting? And she put little rock in the way.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

So she was not as stupid as I thought.

SPEAKER_04 58:50

Wow. So she was probably the second human.

SPEAKER_03 58:53

She's probably up here. I have to find her. Unless she's in hell. I have to find her. You do. Maybe that's my one true love. Your sister? No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_10 59:03

That's definitely something that's changed.

SPEAKER_04 59:05

Yeah, back then they probably were going to get each other constantly.

SPEAKER_10 59:08

Yeah. For now, times we don't do that anymore.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

But if she has an eighth of Eleanor Roosevelt's personality, I have to at least try. I think an eighth is a low bar.

SPEAKER_10 59:19

And I think an eighth is a low bar. There's actually gonna be a lot of people that were kind of like Eleanor Roosevelt up here.

SPEAKER_04 59:26

I think it'd be hard pressed to find somebody that isn't an eighth like Eleanor Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_10 59:29

Yeah, I don't I we don't have to go to sister immediately.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

Yes. I think I think there's other eligible people maybe right in front of your eyes.

SPEAKER_04 59:42

Poirot Poirot, do you want to tell us how we died?

SPEAKER_02 59:49

You two died because your bully.

SPEAKER_04 59:52

No.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 59:53

My bully.

SPEAKER_02 59:54

Your bully.

SPEAKER_04 59:57

My bully.

SPEAKER_02 59:58

Your bully. You're my client. Had a rival show.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:04

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:05

And you guys were gaining traction online. Yes. And that really bothered him. No. So he electrocuted you through the wires.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:15

Who? Why me? I have nothing to do with him.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

You were his greatest enemy in a competition you didn't even know you were a part of. Another comedy competition. Short form. Did you ever do comedy start? No, but I had stupid friends who did. That's the thing. Fuck. You don't even have to have done it for people to be jealous because they are turning to each other as they're going, Oh, she's going to be so good and she didn't even train.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:50

I did two dropout improv shows with some comedy sports people, and we did short form. And I must have done so fucking well. So good at it. That somebody was like, That's my enemy, and now we're in competition.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

You probably blew them out of the water, and everybody was embarrassed because they had trained so hard and then you did it effortlessly.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

So you are saying it was one of the people, maybe in that show?

SPEAKER_10 1:01:14

Well, that's what the bully. Right? Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:19

Or who was in the show?

SPEAKER_10 1:01:24

Oh, it was in the show. Okay. That show was, God, someone it was Jacob Oisaki.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:31

Didn't go to high school with Jacob. Can't be him.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:34

Uh Kurt. Um.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:36

I went to high school with a Kurt. Could it be Kurt?

SPEAKER_10 1:01:39

Jeremy Colhain.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

No, he's too nice. I like him too much.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:43

And then there was um God. Oh, Lou Wilson. I love Lou. Did you go to high school with him?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:49

I didn't go to high school with Lou.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:51

Then he's out?

unknown 1:01:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

And then there was.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:53

This is the part they never put in the books. This is the part they never put where someone's thinking about.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

Someone just kind of grunted at the end of the day. And then other people listen and sort of interject little like, oh, I love him. So funny.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:07

He's so funny. Um Oscar Montoya?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:12

Oh, I think he's older than me. I don't think I would have bullied somebody who's older than me.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:17

Then there was um Also, what if it's not a man?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:23

Why so hard to remember last person?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

There's gotta be Why so difficult? There's gotta be made not memorable last person? Maybe not. There's gotta be somebody else. Wait. Often that just slips through your mind, the one who's sort of just like making connections and bringing the thing to pay.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:42

Probably exactly why that's the person that murdered you.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:44

It was um It was uh really taking so long.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:50

It was uh this is important. I'm getting the the shape? You're getting the shape?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:58

That's the shape! Okay, payback. A little bit of payback. I'm getting the shape. Hold on. I'm getting the shape. What are you doing? I'm getting the shape. I'm getting the smell. She smells? Smells? I'm getting the smell.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:15

Whoa. Who is it? This is this person. Whoa! It went into your mouth. This person was breathing in my mouth the whole shop. Didn't happen. Stop! What who is it? Kimmy Bitporney.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:31

Oh my god, I went to high school with Kimmya.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:33

Shut up. Did you bully her?

SPEAKER_10 1:03:35

Because she Mellow piece of shit?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:36

Of course I did.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:37

Because she wanted to be a hairdresser.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:39

Of course I did.

unknown 1:03:42

Kimmy killed us.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:44

Kimmy killed us because I absolutely crushed those two shows.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:53

You guys deserve it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:55

What the hell, Sheirsa?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:57

I don't know. What do you mean? You don't know? You said we deserve to die? We all deserve to die.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:02

What? We all do die. We don't all deserve to.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:05

Change and death are the only things that are inevitable. And then we end up here. And then freaking what? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_10 1:04:16

It's a good question. God, I mean, do you feel any solace? Like we've all just learned our murderer. Do you feel any different now that you've learned your sister is the one that caused your demise? Feel great. Gonna have the greatest romance.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:32

With your sister? That's crazy. Are you still gonna come by my place? Yeah, baby. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:36

I would never start a romance with Kimya. God.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:40

What?

SPEAKER_10 1:04:40

We started my with my murder. Out of nowhere! With my murderer.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:44

Out of nowhere! Oh, with your murder. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:46

Like Cersha's doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:47

Oh, I see, I see, I see.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:48

I would never start a romance with Kimya. Uncalled for comment.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

Start the romances. We have never heard it before. Start the romance. I would never begin a kiss-a-thon. I would never another crazy way to say that.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

It's sex, lady. Grow up.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:06

Grow up. Grow up. Hey Raya, free the book.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:10

Well, they say you only live once. And then there's the afterlife. I'm Reka Shunker.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:16

And I'm Louis Mansur. And we're dad.