Documents Needed to Help Adults with Special Needs

Doug and Janan share their experiences both personally and professionally on the process of securing proper documentation to assist an adult child with special needs.

You will hear the different ways you can help someone with special needs, and the various types of documentation that can assist.  Not everybody needs the same help, and not all types of documentation are equal.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Hodges Heroes Podcast, where we're making the most of our mess. We haven't been doing some episodes recently because honestly, life's been lifing. And also, we do our podcast at home. And so that has to work out when both of us are here. And quite honestly, our son gets set off when we are in here trying to work on this podcast. So we've had to just pause it for a bit. And quite honestly, there are some days that are harder than others, and we are tired and we're getting old.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

So And we've been doing a lot of things associated with the topic that we are going to be talking about today.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Correct. So, Doug, I'm going to ask you a few questions. I know these are some questions.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Let me just kind of introduce the topic. We hadn't quite done that yet. We're going to be talking about some of the paperwork that is going to be required in order to be able to legally assist and care for your loved one, particularly when they pass that threshold of the age of 18.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Now, you can be caring for your child all you want to and make all their decisions for them up until the point that they are 17 years old, 364 days old. But as soon as midnight hits on that 365th day, they have rights as an adult. And all of a sudden, overnight, literally, you lose the ability to be able to call doctors for them, to make decisions for them, to assign their name for them.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

But without their consent, they can still give consent, but it's a lot more challenging.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

We're going to talk about that a little bit today. So not all doc not all everyone needs the same types of documentation. Not everyone needs the same type of help. So that's kind of kind of where we are going in this episode. This is sort of what I do for a living. I'm not a lawyer, so I want to say that up front. So that it might be able to help you out a little bit more. So we've made some notes. This is going to be a little bit more of an informational podcast and not nearly as much as an emotional podcast. We've had a few of those recently, and I don't know if I can go there today. But uh, so Janine, what are some questions that you you think people might have?

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Okay, so in regards to paperwork, what are the factors to consider when trying to determine what type of document is needed?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

You really gotta ask yourself the question of how much help does my person need? Uh, depending on how much help they need and how capable they are of being able to do things for themselves, determines how much and what types of documentation that you need to be able to have to legally help them. So, what does that mean? Let me break it down for you as though we were going into a restaurant. The type of help you would give someone, they can go into a restaurant, they can order their own food, that can eat their own food by themselves, they don't need a whole lot of help. But sometimes you might have someone that maybe they they need help uh picking out the food that they want and ordering the food. Maybe they need you to limit some options for them. But once the food comes, they can eat it all by themselves, no problem. That's the second type of help that you would be able to provide that we're gonna talk about in a minute. And the the third type is man, they need help picking the food, they need help ordering the food, and when it comes, they gotta have somebody cut it up for them. They need a lot of help in order to be able to work through things. So that kind of breaks down into three main categories of what we have to be able to offer. Now, I'm sure there are more, and feel free to post in whatever comments. If you know more about this, then by all means join us as a guest on the podcast and explain this to us. Uh, but the way that we have boiled it down, there's three basic categories. One is a release of information or an ROI. And just know that in especially in medical worlds, you're gonna have a lot of things with in legal world, you're gonna have a lot of things with alliterations. So ROI, release of information. We're gonna go through these one at a time. There's a POA, a power of attorney, and there is guardianship. Now, there's a couple of things that fall under the umbrella of guardianship, but guardianship's kind of the big dog. So, Janan, you want to start with ROI?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I don't even understand that, so sure. Let's go for it.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Like we mentioned earlier, the minute your child turns 18, your medical professionals cannot talk to you. They can't share information with you. It is federal and state law in most places that says that they can't you can't consent for services for them. Uh, when you call and ask a question to even set up an appointment for them, without a release of information, they can't confirm or deny even knowing that that your person is a patient of theirs. Despite the fact that last week, when they were 17 in 364 days, you took them to the doctor, paid for all their bills, had all kinds of conversation with them, you've known them for years. The minute they turn 18, they are the patient, they have all the rights, they own all the confidentiality. Is that tracking? You making sense? Yes. All right. So, in order to be able to communicate with medical professionals, you have to have a release of information. Your person has to be able to go in, fill out what information they want to be able to let the doctor talk to you about, what information they want to be able to receive from you on their behalf. That's really simple to do. It's a release of information. The downsides of release of information is you have to have one of these for every single provider that you see. So you can't just have like a blanket release of information. Every doctor that you go to, they're gonna want you to fill out a release of information for that specific doctor for that specific practice. Yeah, Janine.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

I'm gonna say that sounds like a nightmare. Having gone through other processes of this to actually go to every single doctor, every single therapist, or every single service, that just sounds brutal to me.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

It's a lot of work. Now, if you only see one doctor and that that they don't go that often to the doctor, and it's not that big of a deal, then it's not that bad. And if your person is willing to do it, they can communicate really well for themselves and they actually want your involvement in this process, then they can fill out and release some information. Some of the downsides of release of information is at any point in time that your person does not want you to be involved, all they have to do is write down on a sheet of paper, I revoke access to, and boom, it's done. You no longer have access.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Well, and it's interesting, like if that's the case, like if if your loved one is compliant and it trusts you and is not in a bad head space, cool. But if you have It's free.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Every doctor is legally required by federal law to be able to provide this to you or to your to the patient.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Right. But I'm saying simply, like, if you've got your loved ones like, hey, sure, let's do this, I give consent, all of this. But if you have someone that is just being difficult on a given given day or due to behavior on a different mood, and they don't give their consent, then that's problematic.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

They get mad at you one day and say, I don't want you to ever talk to my doctor. They write in the patient portal or bring a note to their doctor and say, I revote consent. That no matter whether it's good for them or not, or right and healthy for them or not, the doctor has to follow their written guidance.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

That's rough, man.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

So you mentioned about having to go to every single doctor. There's another option, and that's the next layer of this, and that's a power of attorney. Power of attorney is a document that you would fill out. You can do them on your own, you can go to an attorney to do them, you can go to different websites to be able to pull it up. But what a pat and and sometimes it's like a flat fee to be able to get a power of attorney.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Also the acronym POA.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Power of attorney. Uh, and there's kind of two different types of power of attorney. So some people think, oh, because I have one type of power of attorney, you know, that that gives me no, there's there's it gets a little complicated. And they're called different things in different states. So you have to be able to kind of pay attention to what state that you're in as to what what they're called and what types are there. But they're basically boiled down to two categories. One category is over financial elements, anything related to finances, money, property, entering into contracts, that's called the the traditional power of attorney is a financial power of attorney. There's another type that is more of a sometimes it's called a health care power of attorney or a healthcare surrogate, or it's something to do with health care and the title of the power of attorney, but it allows you to have PIMPA access so that you can talk to doctors, you can make decisions for your person, you can consent for treatment for your person, that kind of thing. Go ahead, Janet.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Okay, so correct me if I'm wrong. A regular POA, power of attorney, is simply for financial transactions. A durable power of attorney It's not durable.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

There's those two things are those are different. Think of it as financial and healthcare. Now, depending on what state you're in, they're going to be called different things, but that that's the two categories that they're in. One is for financial decisions, one is for healthcare decisions.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Is it called a medical power of attorney if it is indeed for medical purposes?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

In some states, yes. But each state and and I work for a healthcare company in regulatory compliance, and I literally read these all day long. Okay. And they are called different things in different states. And they get very specific in the writing of them as to what rights a person has. You know, some some places it's they have the right to talk about medications. Uh, some places it's they have the right to make medical decisions for me. Uh, some states, Florida is not one where you can do this, but some states say that they can only make these decisions if a person is incapacitated to a certain degree. Now, I will say, just as a caveat, this whole podcast we talk a lot about special needs. But uh if you have uh a child that just turned 18 and they're heading off to college, having a power of attorney on their behalf is not a bad idea either. Because if they're in college and they need you to call their doctor to get up an appointment set up for them when they come home for break, or they you know refill a medication or something along those lines, or they need to get something done at their bank because they can't, you know, maybe their local bank is not present where their college is. Without a power of attorney, you can't do any of that for them.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Okay, I have a question here on that. How is that different from if let's say you've got a child in college and then they fill out the medical form that says, hey, what other people can we give your medical information to? Like what's different between them writing their mom or dad's name versus having to go through a POA?

SPEAKER_01 10:39

I will tell you that most of the time, because of the federal rules and some of the changes, that document doesn't exist like it used to. Uh, they that would then be a release of information.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

An ROI.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

So if they fill out a release of information for you to talk to their doctors, great, they can do that. But if they need you to go to their bank and make some changes to their account, that release of information is not gonna do a bit of good. That's where you need to have a power of attorney to be able to make that happen.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Or if they need an appointment with a specialist because of something that happened in college and it's a new doctor, you're not gonna be able to make an appointment for them.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Well, the other side of it too, what happens if let's say there's a medical emergency and a kid's in college and they are very ill and they can't make some of those decisions, wouldn't that be a safeguard too?

SPEAKER_01 11:19

It complicates it a little bit. Most places there's emergency procedures to kind of override, but how does the, you know, especially with the complexities that exist inside a divorce, how does the doctor's office know that you are the parent that that child would want to be able to have those, those, uh, make those decisions, especially if you're a stranger in a new town, they don't know you, right? They don't know what rights that you have. Uh so it can just complicate things immensely at that point.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Okay, one more clarification before we move forward. So an ROI, release of information, that is just medical.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Specific to that particular doctor.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Okay, but POA, power of attorney, can be medical and or can be financial.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

There are two different documents, yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

But ROI is not financial, not at all. That is just medical.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

It only applies to that specific doctor or that specific doctor practice that you're you filled it out for.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Okay, and it could be for just one doctor versus if you have a total of ten doctors, it could just be for that one doctor.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Yes. I mean you you would have to if you have ten doctors and ten different practices, you'd have to fill out ten different ROIs. But if you are all a part of the same healthcare system and you have one doctor, then potentially you could have one ROI if if all of your doctors are in that same hospital system.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

So like if I I know I have like a certain portal for like my doctors and I try to go into like this one, you know, thing. So you're saying if let's say everything's tied to one portal and one practice or one hospital system, then in theory you might just need one ROI.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Potentially.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Okay, okay. And I don't work in medical and I don't work in legal, so this is now I do a little bit compliance in my position in education, but not at this same level.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

So the the good thing about a power of attorney is you have one power of attorney that you can then take to every location that you go to. You keep copies of it with you. So if you need to go to the bank and do something, you take the power of attorney, you show them, and okay, you've got a power of attorney. If you need set up with a new doctor, you bring the power of attorney documents, you show the that show it to the doctor, they look at it, they probably have to send it to somebody like me to verify that it's that it's accurate. And then they can you can set up appointments, you can have conversations with the doctor to the extent that that what whoever filled out that document gave you authority, whatever, whatever authority that you have to be able to exercise, you can exercise it. But you have the document, you're able to then be able to bring it wherever you need to go to. It's particularly good if you're establishing new relationships with different places, uh, and/or your person's not there to be able to verify things for you, or if they can't verify things on their behalf. But we'll get to that a little bit more in just a second.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

One more question on POA and then we'll be finished. I always thought power of attorney is like a human. Like you're my power of attorney, but you're saying POA is not just a human, it is also paperwork.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

You have to have the document appointing you as power of attorney. So the document is called a power of attorney document, but the document appoints a human. I don't think that's a good thing. Like a power of attorney. I don't know why you would.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

But uh the power of attorney is a human, is a noun.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

But the paperwork you have to have in order to prove who is the power of attorney.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Who is the power of attorney?

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Okay, fair. All right, let's move on.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

So let me let me hang out here for just a second. Pros and cons. Um, pros we talked about, it's it's pretty convenient, it's not hard to get. Uh you usually have to be able to have someone notarized that this is the case, that this person, you know, everybody's on their up and up. You can go to an attorney and get it. There's usually a flat fee to get it from an attorney. It's not terribly expensive. Uh, it doesn't require any type of court or judge to sign off on anything. Uh, you can also go to you know any one of these legal websites that give you like prepaid stuff and it's like a template that you'd fill out. You can fill out a power of attorney, get it pretty easily. The downside of a power of attorney is that if one day your loved one wakes up and says, forget all of y'all, I don't want anybody in my life, they're every power of attorney has a revocation clause. So whatever they have to do to revoke your power of attorney is most of the time is just say, I revoke the power of attorney and put it down in writing somewhere and sign it and date it, then you lose all your rights instantaneously.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

So hold on for a second. So you're saying if let's say you have a family member or whatnot who has a level of special needs or or not, well, let's go special needs right now since we're a special needs family, and they just decide, no, I don't like you anymore, you're getting on my nerves, you're no longer my POA. If they have an intellectual disability or some type of neurological condition that they're treated for, you're telling me that they will allow that person to make that decision even if they might be on a fifth grade reading level.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

If you have only have a power of attorney and there's no other documentation in place, okay, and the legal element of it is that person can then just revoke your access and say, I don't want you there anymore. So it's designed that way on purpose. So if someone's taking advantage of you, or as we talked about a minute ago, if you have a you know a low a child that's in college, and then at some point that child says, I'm ready to be an adult, I'm ready to make all these decisions on my own, I don't want mom and dad to make these decisions for me anymore. They all they have to do is revoke access. So there's there's kind of a protection clause of that, but there's also a danger clause with that, that if your loved one does need extra help, sure, they can revoke it anytime they get upset with you and don't want to do it. Then it's the whole process of getting a whole new power of attorney to be key can't just say, no, no, we're gonna go back to the old power. No, you have to go through the whole process, get a new one, sign it, notarize it, that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

So that's all of these, all of these things take time. Not really.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

No power of attorney, you can literally go online right now, type in, you know, pay your however much it is, and print out the document. You you will have to find somebody to notarize it for you. And once they get signed and notarized that the person is signing off on it, is able to sign off on it, you sign off receiving that power, it's it's it's good to go. You have a power of attorney.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Okay. Wow, that's a lot. My brain's a little bit like because this is not my forte at all.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

So there's a third type of care, and this is for those that need more help. Uh and and you alluded to it a minute ago. If someone maybe doesn't have the capacity with which to make some decisions amongst themselves, and that's where things like guardianship come in. There's guardianship, there's conservativeships, there's uh guardian advocacies, uh, there's a number of different things that fall under the whole umbrella of guardianship. But one of the things that's different about guardianship than the other two documents is guardianships takes away rights from an individual. Right. So meaning that someone somewhere has to determine, and that's usually going to be the court system after having conversations and medical records from your doctor, to say that you are not capable of making these decisions by themselves. Therefore, you need someone else to come alongside and to make these decisions for you for your own safety and for your own good. So there's some lot of pros and cons here. One is you're you're taking away rights of an adult. And we live in a free society, and anytime that rights are being taken away from someone who in theory has has legal opportunities and legal rights to those rights, uh, that's a big deal. And there are different levels to which that can be done. Now, full guardianship says someone has zero capacity with which to be able to care for themselves and has has a need for for you know someone to make every single decision for them.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Right. Well, and I know I know more about this because we have in the last what year, year and a half, we have we have taken care of this on our side. And I do believe that we have referenced this uh in a previous podcast because we do we are the guardian advocates for our child. Am I saying the right terms?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Correct. And that's that's in the state of Florida. Now, most places have something similar to that, but it's specifically called guardian advocate in the state of Florida.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Right. And again, like I said, I think we mentioned this briefly before, but our our child is relatively high functioning, quite honestly. His behaviors are what are kind of keeping him, you know, not where he needs to be, right? But we have allowed him to vote, uh, which he has done, and he got very excited about that.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

He voted in every election he has had the capacity, no, even local election.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Oh, you're right, he did.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

He voted in every election he's had the uh capacity to vote for.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Right, right. And he honestly, like, he's great at Googling and whatnot. So he he does read up on some of it, right? Now he doesn't understand all of it, but we've done it and we've made it a big deal as a family. We get the i vote stickers, and I think we even went like wood for ice cream or something after. We he also uh did his civic duty and was called for jury duty back earlier this year, which we did post a video, I think, about it. I think we did a follow-up podcast about it. We did go to the very, very large Orange County courthouse uh downtown Orlando.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Luckily, the case got can't got uh dismissed or settled before he ever made it to it, but God help the poor person that had him on his jury. It would have been uh a nightmare in both a It'd have been entertaining. Yes, it would have been. Um but what's interesting is we really worth the time that you would have received when he found you guilty to uh to to just experience that for a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Well, and honestly, we really weren't sure what was gonna happen with that because you know we wanted him to exercise his civic duty, but we also knew that there was a threshold of what he might understand and not. And so we figured we'd go down there, we went through the process.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

He can pick out somebody that's kind and nice. Uh so he You're not wrong. Yeah, that not a bad, not a bad job for you.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, so he does have those rights, but we have we have taken on the responsibility of medical because quite honestly, his medical situation is is hard and complicated, and um it's it's it's above what he could rationally understand, if I'm saying that correctly.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

But let's talk through logistics of guardianship for a little bit. In order to get guardianship, you it is possible to do this without an attorney, we chose to do it with an attorney. Uh there's we've had friends that have been successful in going the route without an attorney. That's you know, you follow the steps online for us with all the complexities of what we had going on in life.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Back back in that time.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

We chose to go through it with an attorney.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

And and quite honestly, the only reason I really knew about this is because I talk to other special needs parents at some of the sports that our son plays in Special Olympics. We just kind of talk and hit, how's it going? Hey, have you considered guardianship? And then I even had a parent and a friend tell me like a while back, she goes, You have to get this before he's 18. She goes, Because I didn't, and my child was over 18, and it has been a nightmare.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

And the reason you do want to start that early is you have to get medical. Medical records in order to be able to prove your case, basically.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Uh they need the court system needs to be able to have you know a physician, you know, be able to certify some of his capacities, some of his inabilities. And so they're gonna look at those medical and if they're if they're over 18, they then have to sign off on the release of information that we took spoke about earlier to be able to give you access to those medical records and the ability to talk to you to his physicians.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And and to be perfectly honest, we're talking about all this paperwork, and and I will tell you, we uh nothing is fast, nothing is easy, and I don't mean that to be discouraging, but it literally takes many, many phone calls, many emails, making sure you answer the phone when certain places call. And it it it can be very challenging because you might talk to one person one day on the phone and they tell you something opposite from somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

So to be perfectly honest, you just have to hang in there and you've got to push through because that's why we started with an attorney for this because it was kind of confusing and we knew this was really an important thing for us because this is going to be sort of lifelong for him.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

And it wasn't our wheelhouse. This is, I mean, yes, you work in compliance, but we're not lawyers. Now, I will say again, most of the people that I've come in contact with, they haven't hired attorneys, they've done it on their own. But one thing that Doug, you and I have been facing recently with some other resources and government agencies that we've been working on over the past year, but a lot recently and in weeks, is the fact that even though we have we are his guardian advocates and we have the certified paperwork from the court, they are still asking for Tyler's consent.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

That is one of the cons of the guardian advocate.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

It's been unbelievable.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

You know, you spend a lot of time and sometimes a lot of money being able to get through this. Uh, you know, to kind of go back to the steps, you got to prove your case, you got to apply for guardianship, you gotta then have to submit paperwork. The courts will then appoint him an attorney. That attorney then speaks on his behalf, has to interview with him to make sure that nobody's taking advantage of him. Yep. And trying to make him, you know, take away rights that he, you know, has the capacity to exercise for himself.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

And then we had to sit through, like take a day off from work and literally sit through a virtual training to make sure that we know all of the laws.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Cameras on has, you know, yeah, eight hours sitting in front of the Zoom on the couch, can't turn the camera off, can't multitask. Loads of fun, super exciting.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

And most and honestly, a good portion of it didn't really apply to us.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Yeah. So there are a lot of things. However, uh, we we one of the things that we have found is that, like you mentioned, not a lot of places really understand that paperwork. So you you show up and give them that paperwork, and they're like, okay, well, let me talk to him. Like, no, he he does not legally have the capacity to consent for what you're asking him to do. But they're reading from a script, and that script doesn't always include uh guardian advocacy, and they don't know what I just I just I have to talk to him because he has to give verbal consent. Like, well, no, he doesn't in this case.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Then why did we go through hiring an attorney for this? And our attorneys have been fine, but it's just these other agencies truly don't know.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

And so while it is the right course of action from a legal standpoint to take, it can still get frustrating. I will tell you that one of the things that that we don't, I don't think we fully knew at the beginning of this journey with Guardian Advocacy is that every year we have to then basically give a report to the court system as to how we have been what kind of job have we been doing. We have to account for all of his finances because he does have some control. We petitioned the court to allow him to have control over his, you know, his one specific account that he kind of gets like birthday money in or whatever he's gonna spend money on because we want that to be a training exercise for him to learn how to manage his money, learn what to spend money on, what not to spend money on. It's a big challenge. That could be his home podcast all in itself. But every every year we have to go through every transaction that he makes. We have to submit, you know, how we have met his social needs throughout the year, his lodging needs throughout the year, his health needs throughout the year. You know, all those things are things that every every year we have to compile that, send it to the court. And and there's nothing to hide on our front, but there is a level of uh of just transparency, uh just logistics and complexity is in order to create that level of transparency. Meaning we have to keep some of his stuff separate. Right. You know, we we can't blur the lines. If if ever cash is deposited into his account, they want to know why is their cash coming into account. Where did it come from? How did he get it? You know, if every cash is taken out of his account, what did he do with it? Where did it go? You know, so we've had to make sure we limit things to to you know very specific types of uh of activity that he goes through.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Right. And since we're on the topic of paperwork, one thing that we have been doing, because honestly, this is our first rodeo with all of this, or at least right around 18, he's 19 and a half, almost 20 now, is that we kind of divide and conquer. And it just so happened that some of the things that I've been working on for him for the last year or so that I've been kind of running point on, you're running point on other sides of it. And so then it's like there's so many, we have so many irons in the fire.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

She goes a lot more social, emotional, uh, you know, even some of the therapies, yeah, yeah, some of home support. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

So but then but the thing is, is that one thing that we have noticed in in this last year, because we have applied for a bunch of different resources for him through the state and different things just to set him up for the best future possible when we're no longer here, right? Is that I used to never answer phone if it looked like spam, legit. I will be mid-conversation with someone and I'm usually stopping it. I'm so sorry to be rude, but I have to get this number. Half the time it's still spam, but other times it might be the social security office. It might be a therapist that's coming to our house. And the thing is, you really want to try to take those calls because you might not reach them again for a minute. And that's what we've been encountering. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Your name on a list. You're not just hope. So that's personal connection to them.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

So that's just a little bit of advice that if you're going through this or you're gonna start the process, really, like if you get an unknown number, at this point I'm taking everything because I'm just so afraid that I'm gonna miss something and then it's gonna add more weeks and more time to prohibit him from getting him for what he needs.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

So to kind of summarize documents.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

This is a lot.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Release of information, every single doctor, every single time, easy to cancel. Power of attorney, one document that can be given to multiple locations, but also very easy to cancel. Little bit of a cost, but very easy to get, but very easy to cancel. Uh, guardianship, conservativeship, and all of those types of things takes away rights from your person, but allows you a lot more flexibility with which to speak on their behalf. Right. And they can't take those, they can't revoke that. Not without going back to the court and petitioning that, hey, I am um, you know, I have these this capacity, I'm able to do this for myself for those that are of a certain age. That's the free Brittany. If you that's what she had to do in her situation to be able to prove that she can make these rights, whether or not she could is a whole other story, but nonetheless, we won't digress on that. But there is a cost to this, and there's ongoing work to be able to maintain the guardianship and the status with the court. Now, to give you an example, if we leave the state with him, we are legally and technically supposed to then be able to give notice to the court to say we're gonna be going outside of the state with him for X number of days, he'll be within our care, we're gonna take care of him. You know, so we don't do that much with him, but but if we were to, those are the kind of things that they because the state is ultimately his guardian at that point. Uh that they're taking care of him and they need to know where he is and what he's doing because if something happens to him, i the state's gonna then be you know on the hook for certain things.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Right, but since we are co-guardian advocates, there have been times where we've divided and conquered, and maybe I go out of town or you go out of town. When the other one of us is with him, we don't have to.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Yeah, he has to always be in care of one of us. We have to always be, you know, supportive of him.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Or if we do get him other care, then we have to contact our attorney, which then contacts the court and gets approval and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

So there's multiple steps to it, requires some planning. We can't just up and night the overnight, go, hey, we're gonna fly to Mexico tomorrow. Not that we would ever do that, but that's you know, that that's uh you know, it requires some measure of of planning on that part.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Well, and to be perfectly honest, if you're going through this or you have a loved one or a friend that's going through it, I'm gonna tell you right now, like there have been many days and times where we have wanted to just throw in the towel and give up because I can't get a hold of a human here, or they're not calling me back. I mean, that's I'm off in summers because I work in education and literally I've spent a majority of a good portion of my summer calling, contacting, driving, doing all these things and hitting a lot of roadblocks. And there are times where we have wanted to throw in the towel, or I want to throw in the towel, and Doug's like, no, we can't, or vice versa. I will tell you keep pushing, keep advocating for your loved one, for your child, for your sibling, for your parent, and just hang in there and try to get yourself surrounded by people who support you. Um, and and just do your person, like do your due diligence. So that's where we are today.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

Yeah, so future episodes, we might be hitting some topics of things like you know, government programs that are available, maybe even some of the the end planning or estate planning or you know, care for your loved one after you're no longer able to care for your loved one. Right. Nobody likes to talk about that kind of stuff, but I worked as a hospice chaplain in my early 20s, and I will tell you that the human death rate is 100%. Uh, at some point in time, we're all checking out. And statistically, we're going to do that before our loved ones, and somebody's got to be able to care for them after we're not here. Right. And so, as a loving thing, you know, we got to make sure we have some plans in place, some resources available so that that the care can be provided. And even, you know, things as it relates to medical insurance, uh, you know, financial savings accounts, able accounts, you know, all those things are are really complicated subjects that you know, maybe we we talk about that in some future episodes.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Well, and if you're watching this and you're like, I have no idea what you guys are talking about, I am completely lost, but I think I might need one of those. We are not experts at all, but feel free to um post on you know in the comments or send us a message, or if you know us, text us and we'll be happy to like just get together with you and just share what we know. Because quite honestly, like I told Doug the other day, I wish there was a website that had every little thing that you need if you're going through this. It does not exist. There's just a bunch of other things and things we found out by talking to people or just stumbling upon it. So if we can help you, that's really the purpose of this podcast because it will save you time and frustration that we have the main.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

If you're watching this and you know way more about all of this than we do, and realize that people need though that information.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

And find somebody near you that might could you benefit from your services and and see how you might partner with them and be able to share some of the resources that that you have access to.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for joining us today. And uh we're just doing the best we can and making the most of our best.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Bye-bye.