#003: Catholic Inner Healing: The Renewal of Your Mind

In this podcast episode, Melissa emphasizes the importance of renewal of the mind and the journey to inner healing as Catholic Christians. She invites listeners to enter through the gate of Jesus Christ so as not to risk missing true healing. By offering scriptural foundations surrounding such renewal, she discusses the process of inner healing and getting in touch with our inmost being by understanding our inner parts, accessing feelings, guarding our hearts, taking thoughts captive, and learning to stay in the present moment. She speaks into the cross as a path to renewal and suffering as being a part of the restoration process. 

This episode is packed full of real life examples as she encourages listeners to not fear the fire of renewal, as the radiance of God's love is brighter, knowing that freedom is in store for each one of us!

📚Book Recomendations: 

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life - by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
• Be Healed: A Guide to Encountering the Powerful Love of Jesus in Your Life - by Dr. Bob Schuchts
• Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing our Parts

🌟Bonus Advent Book:

Behold: A Guided Advent Journal for Prayer Meditation - by Sr. Miriam James Heidland

"In this beautiful guided journal for prayer and meditation, Sr. Miriam James Heidland... will walk with you as you explore familial wounds with the help of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

Transcript

Welcome! Today's episode is on inner healing through our Catholic lens.

For many of us, the renewal of the mind is something we have heard of, but we struggle to really take to heart and embrace as a way of life. Or better yet, actually enter in and experience a renewed mind.

It often raises the questions, what does it mean to renew your mind? How do I overcome negative self talk? How do I heal from intrusive thoughts? What does Catholic inner healing look like?

Are there Catholic interhealing ministries to help?

We delve into this topic of living with a renewed mind and answer these questions and more, so stay tuned.

Alright, I'm going to start with an opening prayer. I like to start all of the podcast episodes with a prayer, not only just for me so that my spirit is aligned with the Holy Spirit, but for you too, that it's just really a way to invite the Holy Spirit into your space as well as you're listening. So let's just quiet our minds for a moment. And if you're able to close your eyes or take a deep breath, just really move your body in a direction where you can kind of center.

yourself and get rooted in the spirit and just kind of quiet the noise of the mind and the heart. So we're just going to open with this prayer.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit so we shall be created and you will renew the face of the earth. So good, such a simple prayer. It's the Holy Spirit prayer. And not this Pope Leo, but the previous Pope Leo came up with it in the times that he was living in. And a great, powerful tool. And I really feel

We could be and we should be using it more and more if we can. It's a quick prayer we can say just to call upon the Holy Spirit. Come Holy Spirit, fill our hearts, kindle in us that your fire, the fire of your love, send forth your spirit so we shall be created, right? We're talking about renewal of the mind. We need to be recreated in God too. Like create in us, Lord, a clean spirit, a clean heart, right? A clean mind so that the whole world can be transformed. So you will renew the face of the earth.

You want to go out and save the world? Mother Teresa says, love your family. We have to learn to love ourselves. One of God's greatest commandments is love one another as I have loved you. How does God love us? We have to receive his love. We have to receive his love and learn to love ourselves before we can even love another. Right? So there's so much in this topic. I'm really excited to delve in with you today. Renewal of the mind is what we're talking about, but really that overarching theme of inner healing.

What does it mean? What is inner healing? This is a term that's being tossed around in the Catholic circles, in the Catholic sphere so much right now, through all sorts of ministries, even within the church and parish programs, whatever it is, we're hearing about it a lot, There's retreats, there's podcasts out there like mine, renewal of the mind, inner healing, what are we talking about? So let's start with

What does the word renew even mean? So if we look at the etymology of renew, it means to make something like new, refurbish, to begin again, to replenish, to replace with a fresh supply or restore, to restore to a vigorous or flourishing state. Also speaking figuratively of spiritual states or our soul, to revive, to renew, to be restored and flourish once more.

Wow, that's so powerful, So renew, we're renewing our spirit, the mind, the heart, the way of thought. And when we think something that usually activates us to behave a certain way or act a certain way or process something, and then we either cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms or let those unhealthy thoughts and behaviors kind of fester and take over, right?

So just to start off with a full disclosure here, inner healing and renewal of the mind in particular is a process. Like anything else in life, it doesn't just happen overnight. And I know I've talked about that before with even building our relationship with God and intimacy with Christ, it's the same thing with renewal of the mind. So something to hold in light of all of this is that we really need to be able to and willing to give ourselves

the grace to just experience the process of renewal of the mind, of renewal of the heart. It's the beginning of really, like I said, an intimate relationship with God and it comes hand in hand with intimacy with Him as He begins to give us a clean heart, renew our spirits, take our old hearts and turn them into the heart in which He made us for and He designed us for. And we have that through experiences of baptism in the Spirit.

of forgiveness, of setting boundaries so that we can actually see what's going on interiorly and have the space to process what God's asking us to do and take that obedient step, right? To do what He's been calling us to do, but we struggle to do it, right? So there's a lot at play here, but that intimacy with Jesus comes hand in hand with renewal of the mind. In fact, it's a fruit.

intimacy with Christ, of having a real relationship with God, renewal of the mind is the fruit of that and therefore inner healing is the fruit of intimacy with Christ. But it takes effort and intention and investment of time and sometimes even money right? Like if you're go on a retreat, if you're gonna do a book study, you gotta buy the book,

And sometimes that even means therapy. Like we have to pay for the therapy. I was in therapy for a long time while I was going through intensive trauma recovery. And that was a huge, huge process, the beginning of the renewal of the mind. But again, it's a daily effort to really proclaim the truth and the things that I've learned and use them as tools in my life and really give myself the space to access them. Cause if I'm running on E,

and I don't have much energy, it's going to be harder for me to access those tools. I'm not going to be as grounded as I want to be in order to live in that state of renewed mind and renewed heart. So again, it just takes intention, effort, sometimes money. It takes energy. It takes boundaries, et cetera. Right. And it requires a willingness of our own heart and that inner invitation to let the Holy Spirit guide us and lead us to the place in which

we feel we're most bound in, the place in which we feel we really need renewal the most. And I think you'll be surprised because we often are like, ⁓ this is it. I've got my thumb on it. This has been the problem. It's this terrible relationship I had in my life or it's my job. I really hate my job. And I think if I just quit and I did something else, I'd be happier, right?

It's my house. My house isn't what I want it to be. It's not the square footage I need it to be. Our family's outgrowing it and I'm stressed out. So if we just get a bigger house, that's gonna make me happy and then I'll be a better mom. Right? so many of us do this. It's the church I go to. the priest, I'm just not feeling them. Every Sunday I feel like it's really dull. Like I just need to go to another church. I need to go to another parish. I'm not getting fed. Right? We're always looking at the exterior.

to feed us. We're looking at the outward circumstances to make our inward reality something different than what it is. And we want it to be better, right? We want it to be good. We want it to feel good. We want it to be comfortable. We want it to be a fulfilling experience or fulfillment of our desires. really, if you look at that, like, and what we all desire, right? Because

we all desire the same thing. We all desire to be heard, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be loved as we are, to be enough. We desire to be safe, to be desire to be touched in healthy, secure, and nurturing ways, right? And we desire to be chosen and included. We have all sorts of desires and that's what really drives the way in which we behave and the way in which we live. And I think for many of us,

We don't really think about that kind of stuff. We often are just functioning at a state of like just moving through life, ⁓ doing things in the motion in which we know that we're familiar with because this is how maybe we've been raised. This is what was mirrored to us. This is also what society does. It really separates the body and soul in a sense where like you got to do you, you just do it. And this is what we do. Like here's X, Y, Z. This is how we do it. You put in this and this is what you're going to get, right? But

That's not truth. And we know truth is from God and we know that the Catholic Church is true the teachings that she provides lead us to Christ and lead us to deeper freedom and to deeper healing and restoration. And so that we can become who God made us to be in a deeper sense. But like I said, it's a process.

But if we are, it really depends like who are we listening to? Are we listening to the world? Are we listening to modern secular society to tell you how to live?

to tell you how to work, how to raise your family, right? How to cope, how to de-stress. If we're going to go to modern secular society we're going to find a void of God. We're going to find an absence of God and it's going to be filled with all sorts of things that Jesus warns us about in the Gospel of John, which is what our ministry is founded on. John 10 10, came

that they might have life and have it more abundantly. Before that he says, anyone who comes before me is a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Right? So if we're filling our life with anything that's not God, if we're not entering in through the gate of Jesus Christ as our good shepherd and inviting him into our life to heal and restore and renew our minds, Or overcome whatever it is that we're dealing with, whatever current symptom you have in your life, whether it be

anxiety, a struggling marriage, a broken relationship with a parent, struggling at your job, just a lack of fulfillment, whatever it is, if you're entering in through another gate where you're looking for a quick fix or whatever modern society is throwing at you, whether it's something you find on Instagram or you schedule an appointment with a practitioner and they have reiki or crystals or whatever it is

Just be careful, right? Be cautious be fearful for your soul because so often we can give the enemy a foothold in our life. And we'll get into that a little bit later about footholds and renunciation and the importance of closing those out in your life.

That is a huge part of renewal of the spirit and of the mind is no longer feeding the enemy, feeding into the enemy's lies and empowering the liar, right? And giving him access to our souls. And so often we don't even realize like we've given that and there's also access points that can be rooted in traumatic experiences or unwanted experiences. And really the Holy Spirit is the one who often illuminates that for us in the healing journey. So

We'll delve into that in a little bit here, but I first want to get back to just that overarching inner healing and renewal of the mind. We talked about what is renewal? It's reviving. It's making us new. It's helping us to be flourished once more, to be restored. So think of the image of a rose, right? but the thorns, inhibit it from blossoming,

and there's a verse in scripture in the book of Matthew, Matthew 13 22, the seed sown among the thorns is the one who hears the word, but worldly anxieties and the lure of riches choke the word, and it bears no fruit. Right? So like so often we hear the word of God, we can go to blossom, but then we get choked by the thorns, right? What are the thorns in our life? And this is a huge part of looking at

renewal of the mind and we have to look at not only just the interior but the exterior as well but a lot of the work of renewal of the mind is interior

Because as I was saying earlier, our exterior experiences are often reflective of what's happening on the interior. when we renew our mind, we are now taking control of the interior and not letting it be expressed or reflected based on the exterior, right? So we choose to go a different way than what's happening around us where we are now rooted and grounded in truth and faith.

And we think of the image of somebody standing tall, like a tree standing tall in a storm, where it's not going to sway left and right or be bent over or break off when the winds come, when the storm comes, right? it's rooted, it's strong. And whatever it is in life that's happening, we're not going to give our peace away. We're not going to lose sight of who we are. We're not going to give in to the enemy's tactics.

so that we can fall into sin and drift far from God and not become who God made us to be, right? whatever it is that the enemy is showing us or luring us into, whether it be greed, whether it be wanting something more or something better out there, right? he uses tactics to get us away

from living in the present moment and living in where God has placed us and coming to a place of acceptance and joy, right? And so when we talk about renewal of the mind, there's just so much there and I'm really

I want to start with entering into sacred scripture, where we find renewal of the mind or inner healing, speaking of our inner parts, guarding our heart in sacred scripture. Let's delve into that and then we'll keep going. What I'm going to do is just read each verse and then we'll do like a little reflection on them as part of this. And then we'll continue to delve into how do we renew our mind answering some of those questions.

about what does Catholic inner healing look like? How do we overcome negative self-talk, heal from intrusive thoughts, whatever it may be. So let's get started. In the book of Romans 12 verse 2, this is one that's commonly used, do not conform yourself to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. Powerful, potent.

There you have it. Don't conform yourself to this age, which is exactly what I was just saying to be careful, to be cautious of what gate you're entering into, right? Who are you giving your yes to and making sure it's God? So when we grow in intimacy with God, when we start to clear all the junk from our lives, when we go to confession, when we go to mass, when we receive the sacraments, that makes room for clarity.

That makes room for discernment of the spirits in our life so that we can know who we're listening to and what path we're on. And oftentimes, well always, God creates a way for us through difficulties. He doesn't necessarily take away the difficulty or the suffering, but he'll create a way for us and he'll bring others along the journey to help us get through that so we're never alone, right? Because the enemy wants to think we're alone. So

Don't conform yourself to this day and age, to this secular society, to what is being thrown at us daily in the news, in social media, and the way we're supposed to live as a modern Catholic family. There's nothing wrong with immersing yourself in the world, but we're not supposed to be of the world. And so again, that comes back to intentionality. It comes back to discernment of how we're living and what we're doing with our lives and our goals. What's our goal?

Is our goal to be liked by many? Is it to build our social media following? Is it to get the job that you have been working for for years? Or is it to get to heaven?

There's nothing wrong with having goals in our life, but often forget that final destination, right? what are we living for? We're living for God. We're living for Him to fill us. And we're living as servants of the Lord, so that we can live an everlasting life with Him in heaven. That's what we're living for. And it's so hard to believe that when we're day in and day out, when we're tired, when we have family, when we have vocation.

when we do the daily grind, right? And so it's just, again, part of renewal of the mind, like giving ourselves this new lens to look at life through and reminding ourselves of the purpose of our life. What gives us meaning? What gives us purpose in our life? Is it the next vacation we're going on it, marriage? we think our purpose is found in marriage? Because many of us, when we go to get married, we think our ultimate fulfillment is in our marriage.

that's something that that we're not told enough as Catholics, I think anybody, and that our spouse is never going to fully fulfill us, right? They're going to disappoint us, they're going to let us down, and then we're going to have this gaping hole in our hearts when we realize, my gosh, I just thought my spouse was a god. I just expected that one human person to fulfill me in places which he's not capable of, he can't, right? So we have to look at what are we idolizing in our life? Is that what's giving us purpose? Because that's going to fade away.

All that's going to fade away. Materialism, a career, the image of family. What are we idolizing our children? Sometimes parents idolize their children. And then when the children go to get married, then the parents have a really hard time because they can't let go. Because they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, like you've been my everything. So who's our everything? It's God. God ought to be your everything. And if you want to...

more about that go ahead and check out our podcast on having a real relationship with God. We talk a lot, excuse me, I talk a lot about being disoriented where we often have things out of order or we're not putting God first in our life. And so a huge part of renewal of the mind is that we have to have things rightly ordered and again it's a process so give yourself grace there's a lot here that I'm unpacking So let's delve into the second scripture verse from 2 Corinthians 10 verse 5.

Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. How do we take thoughts captive? We have to have an awareness of them. We have to have an ability to recognize something coming in at us and take hold of it before it gets to the point where we react. Right? And so this, this particular verse is really quite reflective of what all of us struggle with.

Every single one of us struggles with this particular thing. Like if we could just do a little Lectio Divina, I could spend the whole podcast talking about this. Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. Christ calls us to many things. He calls us his friends. He calls us to follow him. He calls us to leave it all behind. He calls us to not look back. That when we put our hands to the plow, we can't look back.

Right? Obedience to Christ requires dying to oneself. It requires giving up your life. It requires really what he says in the Gospels, hating your brothers and sisters. In a sense, not that we despise them or have disdain towards them, but like we long for Jesus Christ so much.

that we don't rely on our brothers and sisters, including those in which we're married to our brothers and sisters in Christ, right? Like my husband, if I look at it through the lens of my faith, my husband is my brother in Christ, and we're walking to heaven together hand in hand.

He's my spouse, but he's not my forever spouse. He's my earthly spouse. My earthly parents are my earthly parents, right? And the communion of brothers and sisters that we have surrounding us are with us on this earth and hopefully into eternity, right? But God requires of us, he asks us many things. He says, leave everything behind and come and follow me. And he often tells us to go a different way.

He tells us to throw our nets out into the deep to no longer be in the shallow.

He often takes us on journeys up these terrains in which we're like, how am I supposed to climb that, God? How am I supposed to venture over there? Like, I don't even have the right gear. I don't even have the right shoes on. I didn't pack anything. Like, how do you expect me to do that? Okay, this is what we all run into. We have something in front of us and we're like, how do you... this seems insurmountable. But with God, all things are possible.

right? And God's power is made perfect in our weakness. And this is where God moves the most is when when we are obedient to Him and we show up and we stop relying on ourselves and we we rely on Him in such a deep way and that's where that intimacy comes in where we let Him into our heart in this very vulnerable way.

it really creates this vulnerable state of heart in which we're inviting Christ to come in and really just captivate us, right? And give him reign over our hearts

where we now are in unison with him. Our steps are in unison with him, our thoughts are in unison with him. And that's where taking every thought captive becomes easier because he's with us. And he's going to show us which thoughts aren't bearing good fruit in our life, which thoughts maybe are disordered or ones that are leading us to sin or ones that are temptations. Right? And so really powerful to Corinthians, go ahead and pray on that. I really invite you to pray on that one.

Today if you're able to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ, how do we take it captive? We'll get into that in a minute

Psalm 139 13 you made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's God saw us before our mothers and fathers even saw us all of the inner parts of our body I love that word inner parts because when we talk about inner healing and renewal of the mind

We're talking about the parts of us in which we hold as a sort of internal family system. We are made up of all these experiences in life.

and we carry parts of ourselves in which sometimes never had a choice or the space to process certain life experiences, often unwanted ones, often harmful ones, ones the consequences of that was for us to cope because we didn't know how to process an emotion that came to the surface or a feeling that came with that experience.

And so for many of us, have, really for all of us, we have this internal family system

or you could call it the self system. It's made up of an inmost self in multiple parts, it's filled with emotion, thoughts, memories, perceptions,

So when we talk about internal family systems or our inner parts, we're talking about the complexity of a system within us that has been built or made, right? And how we come to see that we have all of these little parts in us, grown up parts in us, whatever it may be, this self system of the inmost self and we have multiple parts, right?

And we see the demonic manifestation of this when we see people with alter personalities or alters they call them alter egos, split personality, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, whatever that may be. It's a distortion of there's like a lack of integration of the parts within this self. So we all have parts. There's a system within us almost like a

family system or a community, right? even our nation has a system, corporations have systems and parts. And so this is how we come to function, not just as one body, but many members of the body. And so even within our hearts, when we have one part of the system that's struggling in some way, the whole system is affected, right?

each part has an internal system, much like a family, but these independent works, these independent parts working together in healthy or unhealthy ways, right?

We have these feelings, beliefs, perspectives, impulses, whatever it can be. And then we have these parts of us that hold painful memories and negative beliefs about ourselves or about other people. And we can often project that on other people.

We have these wounded parts of our self system, ⁓ which psychotherapists will call exiled parts, are parts that cause us to often go into fight or flight or fight or freeze. And you know, that part of us carries burden from past traumas. And that's where we have a lot of people who experience repressed memories, where we haven't been able to feel or experience a certain emotion because there's some sort of memory underneath that in which a traumatized part of us

is holding on to and associating that with this negative feeling. So we're often numb to these feelings because these traumatized parts or in other words exiles are keeping them at a distance and often it's subconscious or in the unconscious mind to protect our system from feeling overwhelmed. Right we don't want to feel overwhelmed. So what are we going to do to protect ourselves? We have these protective parts that come in and minimize and cope and do whatever just to keep us from feeling that one type of feeling.

or that one feeling that leads to an emotion in us where, you know, we don't want to feel this negative emotion. But emotions are healthy. God gave them to us as our body's way of speaking to us. He gave us everything we needed within us.

And so often for many of us feeling certain emotions, we're not allowed, there's not the space to, we even don't give ourselves the space to because they're painted as bad, negative, like as if it's something that is not good, but it's actually good to feel. It's good to experience feelings. When we laugh, when we experience joy, it's fulfilling. Right, there's a time for everything under the sun.

This is Ecclesiastes from Ecclesiastes 3. There's an appointed time for everything, a time for every affair under the heavens, a time to give birth, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to uproot the plant, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh. So again, there's that sadness and that joy, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Okay, mourning would be grief, loss, lamentation, dancing, ecstasy, joy, thrill, excitement, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. So gathering is very intentional. A time to embrace and a time to be far from embraces. Okay, boundaries. A time to seek and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away.

A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time of war and a time of peace. Read Ecclesiastes really, really powerful.

There's a time for everything under the heavens. And so when we look at the internal parts in our life and in the internal self and the system we have in us, it's complex. We're unique, right? We're filled with perspectives and experiences and skills. And through our parts we have within us, we have this diversity and perception of thought and feelings. And

It's beautiful, right? but trying to explore that with a new lens can be a lot. It can be a lot. And some of our parts carry wounds from the past, and we may be holding on to physical or emotional pain. We might be holding on to false beliefs about God, about others, about ourselves, that are driving us to behave in certain ways or inhibiting us from becoming who God made us to be. That's what the enemy wants. He wants to take you out.

whatever your destiny is, whatever gifting talent and skill God gave you, whatever he wrote in your heart and your innermost being in your mother's womb, the enemy is coming after that like with a sniper. He's got a target on you and he's gonna try and take you out in that exact same place in which God wants you to blossom into.

what God wants you to more fully become and step into. And maybe you're already living in that way, maybe you are already stepping into the place in which he's gifted you with this unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable beam of God's glory, of his own glory. Like he's given you that gift of himself that nobody else has. And maybe you're already living in that and you are experiencing the the goodness of that, right? But for many of us that's hard to find that place. It's hard to know that place.

that God has planned for us when we are functioning out of parts in us or holding these false beliefs because they're deeply ingrained in us and found in insecurity, in inabilities, they're often found in our coping.

And we have these parts in us that experience inner tensions when we have conflict within ourselves, like an inner conflict. So when we're talking about renewal of the mind, we're taking a scope and we're zooming in to the inner parts. What's happening in there? What kind of battle is happening in there with ourself and what we're telling ourselves with the lies we're believing, with the conflict that's happening within?

Often it can be distorted, these ways of thinking and the ways we've learned to adapt to certain situations, certain experiences, and we've been carrying this distorted way of thought with us, thinking that it's helping us and really it's keeping us from that fullest potential that God made us for.

And so we often are finding ourselves in desolation, right? And we're looking at things as objective, not subjective, based on this inner reality we have. So when we talk about inner healing and renewal of the mind, we also have to hold subjective truth and objective truth in mind.

But we have to be willing to look at the inmost self when we're talking about renewal of the heart, right? The self that's motivated by love and that has a desire to heal and a desire to connect. We all have desires for our needs to be met.

In all the years that we spent growing up, our family, our church, our parents, our culture didn't fulfill the desires of our aching hearts. And then we find that, you we go to get married, the love of our life didn't fill it, right? And we thought our desires would be fulfilled at last, only to experience that we still have this ache in us that our partner can't fill, right? So we have these unmet desires, these unspoken expectations.

and ⁓ perceptions And that's what's driving us to self-medicate, to cope or to behave in a certain way. Sometimes that looks like highly functioning, a highly functioning person who's actually quite successful in their career because it's a coping mechanism where they can't stop, they can't slow down, they have to keep moving and fighting and striving and all that and they can't really rest in themselves.

or for some of us we see on the opposite side of the pendulum we see somebody who can't get out of bed. We see somebody who struggles to move, who's very slow, and who takes a long time. Right? And so you have these extreme opposites. We see coping through addictions. through self-stimulation. through unhealthy eating habits.

spending, financial issues, whatever it may be, acting out, our coping often leads us to blame each other, which again comes to that exterior reality, and distance ourselves, right? And assume that somebody else is doing something wrong and that's why my reality is the way it is, because something's not the way I need it to be, and so then I have this internal conflict and I'm gonna act out of that internal conflict instead of staying aware.

self and what's going on inside we are looking at the exterior. So we have to remember that we all suffer in some way and we all carry this deep pain within us and this is Jesus's calling is to carry your cross, to pick it up and carry your cross. So what is your cross right? And that's a whole nother conversation but that's something to hold in mind right acknowledging that

that our cross is in our life. It is through our crosses that we experience renewal of the mind. It is through welcoming the cross in our life as a gift, right? Not something that's going to drag us down, but something that's going to lift us higher and make us lighter. But we have to enter through the cross. We have to enter through the narrow gate that leads to life.

the narrow way that leads to life. And if we're looking at somebody else's life and we want to trade off our cross for somebody else's right, like we can easily look at somebody else and be like, well the grass is greener over there, but it's just not true. You don't know the internal conflict individuals have within them, within their hearts and within their minds. We don't know the intricacies of another person the way God does. And the crosses in which we're given are a mystery, my friend. They're such a mystery.

that this is the way God has it. And if we avoid our cross, we're just going to keep living in this internal conflict because the cross is a part of who we are as humans. Jesus showed that to us through his life, death, and resurrection. And the glorious part of that is that when we enter into the cross, there is a resurrection, there is a redemption, there is a renewal, and a restoration.

The word resurrection literally means to restore. Renewal means to restore. He longs to restore you into the man or woman he made you to be. And he's inviting you to enter in to the crucifixion with him. And if you have no crucifixion in your life, let me tell you, he will either pull you into the desert, into this aloneness with him in the desert, or we often hit rock bottom, right?

When we're not ready, when we're avoiding the crosses, we're just passing on our pain. We're either wounded healers or we're wounded wounders. That's Henry Nouwen's term. I didn't coin that.

We go from hurting to healing to helping, or we remain stuck and we pass off our suffering to another person, to our children, and another generation. Which is why we're battling generational sin, generational wounds, we see divorce at its highest, promiscuosity, alcoholism, addictions, infidelity, whatever it is.

We see it over and over and over and over again because we are not carrying our crosses. We are not welcoming the cross as a gift. We're avoiding the cross. We cannot renew our minds until we come to a place of acceptance with the cross in our life. And by acceptance, that can begin with just looking at the cross. Again, back to the present moment.

Where am I now? What is my current reality?

Maybe my cross is that.

I don't have the family I dreamed of. I don't have the relationships I long for and frankly I need. Maybe your cross is that you aren't financially stable and you have to work really, really hard to have anything.

Maybe your cross is that part of your body is not at ease and there's a dis-ease in your body, a disease, you're having to heal from that and you're having to go to the doctors all the time or you're under some sort of treatment or medication and you just wish it were a different way. You wish you could experience peace in your body and you wish your body could be different.

Maybe the cross is that you were young and you didn't welcome the life that was in your womb. You were afraid. And so you listened to the enemy and the enemy took that life from you and you gave it to him.

through abortion.

Maybe the cross is that, like me, you're married to somebody who struggles with same-sex attraction.

it's a cross, right? Or maybe you experience that yourself. And for my husband, he is married to somebody who has a history of many, wounds. And so I live with complex post-traumatic stress syndrome, where I have to continually stay in that present reality of knowing that about myself and being able to take care of myself, knowing that there's parts of me that struggle.

right, and are quite magnified at times because of those past wounds, because of the past perceptions. That renewal of the mind takes time and it takes looking at yourself in your life and the crosses in your life and inviting Christ into those crosses and into the innermost self. So it just begins with looking inward and looking at the present.

reality God says I am, I am who am. He is the present moment. He is the sacred present moment, the present reality.

There's so much more I could get into surrounding internal family systems in our innermost parts and that's for another episode and I hope to have one in the next year or so on our podcast. That is something that I would love to continue to delve into because there's so many layers to that and it's really a complex topic. ⁓ But to continue forward, the other verses that we wanted to go through today are Proverbs 4.23.

Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.

Guard your heart. He's saying don't let your just be out on your sleeve. Don't give your pearls to the swine. Guard your heart. Armor up. Make sure that you are vigilant. This is all through scripture. Keep the oil in your lamp. You don't know when the bridegroom is coming.

Gird your loins. A thief will come in the night and if the owner of the house knew when the thief was gonna come, right, he would have stayed awake and alert, but the thief comes in an hour in which we don't know. The Lord warns us of the thief and of the enemy quite often and he tells us of his future imminent coming. And so we have to know, we have to guard our hearts and make sure to stay vigilant and sober.

Because we don't know the hour in which he's coming. Right? We don't know the hour in which we're going to be called. And whether that means called to somebody else to aid them in their suffering, called to our own family, to enter into the cross, called home, whatever that is, whatever that means, because the Bridegroom comes, he comes to us all. And often we aren't ready and often we aren't awake. He's yearning to come to you.

He's longing to come to you and enter into your inmost being. That's why he died for you.

He longs to come in and fill your heart with His love and mercy and give you an abundance of goodness, an overflow of anything that you know to be good and holy and righteous. He wants to give you an overflow of all of those things. And that determines the course of your life, how we guard our hearts. That is profound. That is exactly what we're talking about, renewal of the mind.

Renewal of the mind takes guarding your heart.

boundaries. Boundaries, again, a whole nother topic I could get into on another podcast. Boundaries. If we don't have boundaries in our life, who we don't know who we're living for.

We are that swaying tree in the wind, right? We're going to give everything away and have nothing left.

we don't have any boundaries in our life, things are going to be overcome. Even God has boundaries. There's some really good books on boundaries and I'm going to link one at bottom of the show notes by Townsend. It's called Boundaries, ironically. And ⁓ he reflects a lot, he's Christian, he reflects a lot about how God has boundaries and he refers to scriptural points in the Bible, our faith, Christian theology.

and looking at the person and how boundaries actually are meant to help us and they're meant to aid us in healing. I like to give the analogy for couples that we work with, if you're going through something together where you're dealing with a current symptom that's unwanted and you're trying to heal, oftentimes we have to put cones up. Like we have to put up these construction cones, like those big orange ones, and kind of just like map off the place in which we need

we need space, right? We need space to work on something. And often it's for us in our marriages, it's our foundation. What was our house built on? Was it built on sand? Was it built on rock? Some of us, the house was built on rock. There's a lot of cracks in the rock, right? And oftentimes what God does is he takes that and he grinds it down. He keeps the same cement. He keeps the same, the same foundation in which we were built upon, right? He doesn't want to take away from us. He wants to give us more.

So he takes that and he grinds it down, which is where we often think, you're taking something away from me, but no, he's repurposing, he's renewing, making it new again, grinding down that foundation. And he's laying a new foundation and a smooth surface without cracks, without these impediments in our life.

without these barriers, these places in which we fall and stumble and we trip up, right? Like he's filling those in and he lays down this new cement foundation, right? This new rock. But we have to have these cones up in these boundaries. Think of like when you have construction on your street, you have to go around. There's a detour. You can't just go like, even though it makes sense and you're like, my gosh, I live five minutes from this place and I just want to drive down this road, but now I have to go take this left turn, this right turn, turn around, flip my car over sideways.

Like all the things, right? Like I might have to get out and walk. Like whatever it looks like, it's inconvenient. Sure. It's frustrating. Okay. It doesn't make sense. Yep. That's God. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. He works in ways that sometimes to us don't make sense. And he also works in ways that are overt, where we have a whole road that's closed now. But that's good for us. Boundaries are necessary for our healing because guess what?

Once that concrete's set and it dries, that road is going to be smooth and not bumpy anymore.

You're not going to fall into the cracks anymore. It's smooth, it's renewed, it's restored, it's replenished.

The cracks have been filled, the gaps have been filled, he's made it new again so that we can have smooth sailing, so that we can have a smooth drive in our life and experience his grace. But that often takes boundaries and that takes guarding our lives and our hearts as precious gifts. And if we don't look at ourselves as a precious gift, as like a precious jewel or a precious stone of some sort, as something...

irreplaceable and good and sacred, we often aren't going to know how to guard our heart.

And again, that's that internal part of us where we might have been empowering the liar and believing negative thoughts about ourselves or lies about ourselves, maybe even rooted since we were little. Maybe it was rooted in an experience of bullying. Right? And so we've just believed this lie. Like for me, my lie that I've told you about before is that I often feel too much or not enough.

You can't win with either of those, right? So where do I find the truth in that is that I am a daughter of God. I am cherished. I am seen. am known. am loved.

Right? God knows me, he sees me. He desires, he delights in me.

I have sinful behaviors, patterns of sin in my life, have flaws, have faults, that is okay that I am not perfect.

What I do with that, I either grow in virtue or I grow in vice, right? And so that's where that nitty gritty comes down to, like, what are we going to do with our temptations? What are we going to do with the sinfulness, the faults? Are we going to take it to the Lord and let him renew it and keep going and keep going? Put up those, those boundaries, those barriers, those, those construction cones, give ourselves the space and the room to heal, to grieve, to encounter God.

If our life is constantly full of noise and chaos, which some of us only know how to function in that, some of us only know how to function in a storm because that's all we ever knew, and the people around us keep us in that storm, oftentimes we have disordered relationships in our life that are keeping us in the storm, they're keeping us hooked to the lie, they're keeping us

rooted in the soil that's not fruitful, the one that chokes us because the weeds are in there, right? But there is a time, like Ecclesiastes, for everything under their sun.

There's a time to seek and there's a time to lose. There's a time to tear down and there's a time to build.

There's a time to scatter stones and there's a time to gather them. Right? So some things in our life ought to be scattered. Some things in life ought to be torn down. Some things in life...

ought to be killed, right? Because he says there's a time to kill and there's a time to heal. There's a time to plant, there's a time to uproot. Some things need to be uprooted. What in your life needs to be uprooted in order for you to more fully become who he made you to be? Is it a relationship in which is harmful?

Is it the time you're giving that person? Because we can come to a place of acceptance with people that we have difficult relationships with. We can come to a place of acceptance, but if peace is not returning to us...

then it might be time to let that relationship go.

If that relationship is inhibiting our growth and our intimacy with Jesus Christ, if that relationship is inhibiting us and continually bogging us down, then we might need to reflect on that and ponder on Ecclesiastes. Is it a time to continue to plant seeds in this relationship? When there's no fertile soil,

Or is it a time to uproot the plant altogether and allow the Lord to replant you in the place in which He's been longing to plant you, but you've just not been willing because you've been afraid?

So renewal of the mind and inner healing, it's so complex. There's so much there. We could go on for hours about this, right? And just even pondering on the scriptures, it brings up so, so much.

but he calls us to guard our heart above anything else. for it determines the course of your life.

And in Philippians we see, not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians four, verse six through seven. The peace of God, which transcends all understanding were not meant to understand his peace.

It doesn't come from within. doesn't come from something exterior. It comes from God Almighty.

It will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. So if we want to guard our hearts, we need to start praying for his peace. We need to start praying for his, his intervention in our life. God, I give you my everything. God, I give you my inmost being. God, renew my spirit. God, renew my mind. How do we experience renewal of the mind? How do we experience inner healing? We invite the Lord in.

It begins with that invitation to the Holy Spirit, come within me, fill my heart, fill the hearts of your faithful, kindle in me the fire of your love. I want your fire, Lord. Send forth my spirit. We can't go forward without receiving the fire of God's love. And what does fire do? It often burns. Man, it burns. It purifies. It's restoring.

Fire doesn't come without consuming. It consumes, it restores, it purifies. It also illuminates. It brings light. Right? And anything that's burned to ashes, we know. the soil is more fertile than it otherwise would have been had it just been on its own.

Ashes are fertile, right? And may we be like rising embers from the fire going forth out into the world. Send forth your spirit so we shall be created and you will renew the face of the earth. So we shall be created. We shall become the man or woman God made us to be and renew the face of the earth. You want to see change. It's not about who you vote for.

It's not about what kind of job you have. It's not about how green you are. I don't care what you're spending your money on and donating to. If you want to see change in the world, you enter into the man or woman he created you to be. St. Catherine of Siena, become who God made you to be and you will set the world ablaze. All of the saints before us, all of the clouds of witnesses,

They lived life on earth like we're living and guess what? They're still reigning on earth through Jesus Christ, manifest through his spirit. Their spirit is still calling other souls to him, even past their death on earth. Because we know they're reigning in heaven and freedom with God in heaven. Because they entered into the cross of their life.

They became who God made them to be by welcoming the sorrowful mysteries of their life and not running from them. That, my friend, is running the race. That, my friend, is winning the race. You have a goal in mind? If it's not becoming who God made you to be, I would challenge you to welcome that goal.

Set it in your heart and in your mind renew my mind Lord show me Lord show me who you made me to be And he's gonna work in your life. He's gonna start pointing out places in which you are inhibited Where growth is not happening where there needs to be pruning and there's lots of scripture on this The burning of the branches the pruning of the branches It's gonna hurt right? He's gonna cut things off And it might look like pain it might

hurt for a little while.

In the book of Peter in one Peter, after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. One Peter, after you've suffered a little while, it feels like eternity. When the fire hits us, when the heat comes, man, it hurts. It's painful.

We want to run from it, right? And this is where those coping mechanisms come in. This is where we believe the lie and that we can't feel because it's uncomfortable. Let it be uncomfortable. Becoming a follower of Christ is not comfortable.

It requires a stripping away of what we believe to be true. But guess what? That truth is not setting you free. The truth that sets you free is the truth of Jesus Christ.

the book of John, then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. When we come to know the truth, when we come to welcome the truth into our life, we begin to experience inner healing. We begin to experience healing of the parts within us that have been bound, the ones that have been acting out of order, the ones that have been buried alive and who have never fully gotten to live. Let me give you an analogy, okay? I'll give you a lighter analogy here. I could go much deeper with this.

When I was a mom, I went through, after our first child, I went through a lot. Anthony and I went through a lot, my husband and I. I was in intensive recovery right after our first child was born. I began to experience post-partum depression, which was actually complex post-traumatic stress syndrome from emotional and sexual trauma. Okay? And it was, it's more than, than probably most people have experienced, but...

It inhibited me from fully becoming who God made me to be. And so I had all of these gifts that God gave me that had been in slumber for a really, really, really, really long time. And I would like try and dip my toes in them. Like when I was younger, I always loved art. I always loved creating. I was really drawn to beautiful things. I loved drawing, coloring, whatever. And then as I got older, I would create things. I would

use clay molds and ⁓ in art class I'd be the one who'd go like above and beyond and make something beyond whatever the project was. And then as I got older then I went into arts in college and I didn't really graduate because I went on to have a family right. I got married and had family. Well I had so many things in slumber that I had held within me for so long that never fully could arise because I was living out of so much fear.

I was not able to ⁓ experience that renewal and restoration for so long because I was inhibited because of the trauma wound, Because of perception and what had been mirrored to me for so long in my life and the shame in my life that I had carried and the guilt and the fear. It had overcome me and consumed me and so I was living out of that and coping in many unhealthy ways.

that were harmful not just to me but to others,

So I wasn't fulfilled and there was a lot in me that the Lord, you know, for some reason he allowed me not to see for so many years until it was finally safe enough until I married Anthony and he was the first safe man in my life that I could begin to uncover and really open up to.

And in that opening up and that vulnerability, I began to experience these symptoms that came with that. But there were parts of me that I never really experienced that were glorious, like these glorious gifted parts of me in which I didn't even fully know. Like I knew they were there. Like I knew I had this artistic ability, whatever it is. You name what it is for your life,

But I didn't know how to access that because there were so many other barriers in my life that was keeping me from that, right? And so as I began to heal, I began to experience that part of me more and more. And for a long time, I wasn't comfortable with the radiance of God's love. I wasn't ready for it. It was too bright. It was blinding almost. Like I was like, too much, too much, too much. ⁓ it's too much, right?

It's too much God. It's too glory. I can't, I can't. I need to stay in this old place of... like I need to go back to the old country because it's more comfortable because that's what I know. That's how my mind works and rigidity is just what I know. So it's better for me right? And that's the lie. But it took me a while. It was very stretching. Very, very stretching. Took a lot of money. Took a lot of therapy appointments. Took a lot of reading, a lot of self reflection, a lot of prayer, a lot of a lot of a lot of everything.

A lot of conversations with Anthony, a lot of tears going through the process of grieving the loss, going through the betrayal process as well. And so just learning to grieve, learning to accept, accept the cross and life and overcome it through Jesus, right? So allowing Jesus in my inmost part. And in that, he showed me parts of me that were radiant, that had been hidden away.

and these parts of me he revealed to me and I'm still learning about ⁓ were the most fertile parts of me and which he wanted he wanted me to use these gifts and talents not just for my family but for the world right around me and all of us have this all of us have something in us that's fertile that's life-giving men are fertile and women are fertile and we're not just fertile in our bodies

fertile in our spirit and we see this through Mother Mary who gives her yes, her fiat. She's fertile in her spirit. She welcomes God into her spirit, says yes to him even though she doesn't see, even though it doesn't make sense. She questions even, how could this be? Right? God why are you choosing me for this? I don't get it. How could it be? Wrestle with the Lord, talk to him, let him know how you're feeling, right? So anyways what I was saying though is that

you know, oftentimes we have these gifts within us and we don't even know we have them because the radiance of God is so great, is so bright, often we're not ready to handle it. And so if we could get to the place where we slowly let him in and slowly let that light in, like if the shades down, the light's gonna be filtered if we open it up, you know, it's gonna take a minute for us to get used to the light, which

There's a theory that if you wake up with the sun, right, it's better for you than just like opening your curtains and it's like, it's blinding, right? Like wake up with the sun every day, wake up with the Lord every day and let him renew your spirit. Let that light let it slowly come in and trickle in and filter in because it's gonna illumine the places of your heart and which need to be restored and repaired and which God has been longing to revive you into who he made you to be.

so that you can set the world ablaze. You can break generational sins. You can be set free and share with him in the feast of the lamb, right? In the heavenly feast and come and eat at the table in which he's invited you to eat at. He's invited you Are you gonna go? I know it sounds intense, but this is our Catholic faith.

And if we are wanting to live as an intentional Catholic and enter into the deep with Christ, we need to have these conversations. We need to talk about these things because they're important.

In Romans 8, 6, the mind governed by the flesh is death. But the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace, much of what we've been talking about. If we're going to let our mind be governed by what we experience in our flesh, we will die. It is death. It will not help us. It will push the generational sins forward. We will continue to live in the state we've been living in, or even worse, right? We will perish.

But the mind that's governed by the spirit is life and peace.

The fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When we practice living in the Spirit, we begin to experience these fruits. That's in Galatians. We can look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It expands on these fruits of the Spirit and how many there are in signs of spiritual maturity, right?

we can measure that and based on looking at the fruits of what we're welcoming into our life, are we welcoming the fruits of evil, of pride, of vices, or are we welcoming the fruits of the spirit, of virtue? Okay, and that's gonna change the way we think, the way in which we process. Okay, and another part.

that I really just, we need to delve into here. This is quite a long episode, know. Hang in with me, we're almost done. Another part of renewal of the mind is allowing ourselves to feel. And I talked about that earlier. Many of us were raised homes or in societal structures in which feeling, something negative is considered bad.

especially for men we find this with masculinity like if you feel it's a sign of weakness, hey toughen up buddy, like men aren't allowed to feel that you're if you're tough you're strong. That is not true.

Christ felt everything. If you read the Gospels you see this. He felt compassion, he felt pity, he felt grief. Garden of Gethsemane, His soul was lamenting. He was overcome that he was bleeding. He was crying blood.

How crazy is that? Christ shows us through in the rosary the many faces of Christ we see in him all of emotion. We see him feeling and we see him acting out of those feelings in perfection. Even when he experiences anger, when he flips the tables over in the Gospels because of the money exchangers, the ones who are selling in his temple,

Jesus enters the temple courts and he drives out all that were all of those people who were buying and selling in there they were doing something there they weren't supposed to. Right? He overturns the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves and it's written he says my house will be called a house of prayer and you're making a den of robbers. Okay and he experiences what we look at as like his temper right like he's anger he's experiencing anger.

But really it's righteousness. There's such thing as righteous anger. And God shows us that through Jesus in the gospel here in Matthew where we see righteous anger and it's perfect. Jesus didn't do anything wrong. He was allowed, He's God. He's allowed to do that and He's showing us righteous anger. We are allowed to feel angry. It's what we do with it, right? Do we let the sun set on our anger? Do we sin out of our anger?

Anger is a thorn in my side. Anger and trauma often come hand in hand. It's true if you look into it there's so much there and that's another thing to be unpacked another time. And I invite you to look into it. If anger is something you really struggle with or your temper, there's often grief or loss under that. Something that needs to be grieved. Something that that needs to be recognized as a loss.

And until you can come to the place of acceptance, that anger is gonna run your life, right? But there is such thing as righteous anger. So Jesus shows us that feelings are actually strength. And in his righteousness, in his just, like when we feel his justice reigns, it reigns because then we're allowing ourselves to experience.

something in the way in which our body was designed to. When we cut ourselves it hurts. Have you ever heard the phrase death by a thousand cuts? They're not talking about a thousand cuts on your body. They're talking about a thousand cuts in your spirit. In your inmost self, death by a thousand cuts. Like when we've been wounded a thousand times we feel like we're dead. Gosh it happened again. Gosh I can't catch a break. Like all these things keep happening to me. What the heck?

Then we blame God and we're like, you're not a good father. You really don't want the best for us. Not true. Not true. We're empowering the liar. Right? So we have to be willing to feel, we have to be able to feel our feelings. And so if you want to pop over you can to our website, you can book a free discovery call because this is what we do. We walk with individuals one to one through coaching. have ⁓ coaches who are trained in various

modalities to help individuals overcome these unhealthy tendencies, these coping mechanisms in our life, or these outward symptoms, whether it's obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, depression, just feelings of of lousiness, like we just have so much shame, or if it's addiction recovery, feelings of grief, we walk with you in that, we walk with couples through their marital difficulties.

that they can experience deeper healing. We create a space for you to enter into that and Jesus shows us a accompaniment in me on his way to the cross. We see that with Simon, with Mother Mary. If we look at the image and the passion of Christ we see that. We see them in the Gospels. Veronica comes and wipes his face and she's blessed with this beautiful image of Jesus forever that we still we still know of. It's written in sacred scripture right?

So we offer you that space to enter into those feelings because it can feel kind of crazy. When we feel the feelings, how do we feel the feelings? Sometimes it's just too much, it's a lot, and we don't want to feel it, and it's too hard, and we need to be held accountable. We need other people to walk with us in the journey, and so we do that. So if you want to hop over to our website, can book a consult, or even just get ahold of us. Send us an email, info at theabundantcatholic.com, and we'll send you a free feelings list.

There's some charts out there, feelings wheels you can look at, even ones through our Catholic lens. And we'll send you these great tools and resources to help you. There's book recommendations, I'll put them in the show notes. But if you can give an expression, a word to express your feelings, if you could name your feelings, you'll come to tame your feelings. They won't overcome you and drive you in these unhealthy ways anymore.

If you come to name them, if you come to recognize the level of disturbance you feel when you feel that feeling, what lie are you carrying with that feeling in your life? And then how can you replace that lie with the truth? If we look at the level of disturbance, right? Like how is that, is it disturbing my moment? Is it disturbing my day? Is it taking from my life when I feel this feeling? Am I not able to because I shut down?

Right? When I experience loss or grief or frustration or anger, do I flee? Do I run? A lot of us have coping mechanisms. A lot of us run, we want to flee. We're on fight or flight and a lot of us freeze. How do we process emotion? Are we avoidant? Or do we enter in? Do we project? Through gaslighting, through shaming?

we can't handle something and so we project it, we victimize ourselves. There's a lot here. There's a lot here and we could unpack that and this is where we walk with you in truth towards freedom. We help you. We help you by reclaiming and restoring what God gave you already within you but it's been out of order because the enemy since you were born in the book of Revelation has wanted to devour you.

the book of Revelation a great sight appeared in the sky. A woman clothed with the sun and the moon under her feet, this reminds me of Mary, right, and her head a crown of 12 stars. It says that she gave birth to a son, a male child who destined to rule all the nations with an iron rod, right, caught up with God in his throne. This is Jesus Christ. I mean Revelation is full of so many mysteries, right, but that clearly is Jesus Christ.

And then there's a huge drag in this ancient serpent who's called the devil or Satan, who deceives the whole world and is thrown down to earth with his angels This is in sacred scripture, go read it. And at the end of this chapter of Revelation,

It talks about how the dragon became angry with the woman. He became angry with her fertility. He became angry with her yes to God and he went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring. Those who keep God's commandment and bear witness to Jesus. Wow. That is in scripture. That's in Revelation 12 verse 17 that the dragon wages war with the woman.

by attacking her offspring, those who keep God's commandment. So although the church is protected by God's special providence, the individual Christian is to expect persecution and suffering. The individual Christian is to expect rejection and difficulty and a constriction.

following Christ. It feels constricting because it's narrow. Okay it's not easy. Again back to that fire, back to that purification. So if you're feeling something and it burns and it hurts, press in my friend, press in. Gather help, pray for help. It's already probably coming your way, you've already probably had some people knock on your life.

that God's brought you and so often because of our pride we say I don't need your help I don't want to let you into my misery. What is misery? It's mercy. Receive the Lord's mercy in your life. Receive it by allowing other people into your suffering. We were never meant to suffer alone and Jesus shows us that over and over and over again. He even said he had no place for him to lay his head for him to rest because he's the son of man.

We, on the other hand, have a place to rest. Be close to him. Rest your head on his chest. Get to know him. He loves you. He desires you. He desires to be close to you so that he may fulfill you. He wants you to be filled. He wants to give you a life and give it to you more abundantly. came so that they might have life

and have it more abundantly.

He wants you to live in His abundance. Okay, heaven starts now. Heaven starts now in the present moment in this sacred space with God. So let's do a little recap because we talked about a lot today and we've been talking for a long time. So let's recap. What is Catholic inner healing? And some of the questions in the beginning that we asked.

What does it mean to renew your mind? It means to look at your inmost self, to become aware of self, to put on a new lens, allow the Lord to transform you by welcoming Him and inviting Him in, by opening the door, right? He's waiting. Open wide the doors of Christ. This is John Paul 2. Open wide the doors of Christ.

Let the Lord into your inmost self. You may not even know your inmost self. Many of us don't even know ourselves because we just function. We just go. We just move. We do. We behave. We're not really thinking or connecting the dots of our actions to our life, to our behaviors. We have become overcome by what society calls normal.

which is that we live without purpose or intention. We stay busy.

We don't slow down enough to even see, like in the story of Elijah, God wasn't in the storm, it wasn't in the wind, it was in the clash, the thunder, the lightning, the rocks, like he was in the silence in the quiet place.

how can we hear our inmost self? How can we even know ourself if we can't be in silence? If we are uncomfortable with silence, we are uncomfortable with our inmost self. Okay? Because in the silence, oftentimes something bubbles to the surface. But let me tell you, my friend, when a wound is exposed and it bubbles to the surface and you can see it, that is a glorious place to be because it means that healing

restoration is coming. Because now it's exposed to the air in which it can be disinfected, right? Like the Lord can come in and he sees it and other people see it and now now we're gonna go a new way. That wound might be gaping, it might be open, right? But restoration is coming. Healing is coming.

In one Peter, after you have suffered a little while, the God of grace who has called you to his eternal glory and Christ himself will come restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. He's going to establish you. Amazing. And once, once you're established, then you can build upon that and it's freedom. Like that's what freedom looks like.

Once you have a foundation, you're established and you're rooted and you've been planted in a place in which now in the soil it's fertile and it can grow. That's renewal of the mind. That's freedom. But it takes practice and intention. So that question, how do we renew our mind? How do we overcome negative self-talk? We become aware of it. And we go another way. We rebuke it. We don't give Satan this foothold in our life by believing the lie.

And we have a free inner healing ministry and Encounter certified prayer ministers walk with you through a whole process of renouncing lies and rebuking them and replacing them with the truth. It's so powerful. It's a one to two hour session, usually about an hour and a half. It's like an in-depth inner healing session. We offer it for free. You're welcome to go on our website and click the inner healing tab and schedule one today. We highly, highly recommend it.

But you can experience it in your healing by recognizing these patterns of negative self talk and recognizing staying curious. Where did this come from? Not judging yourself. Look at it as data. Why am I thinking this? Where is this? This is interesting that I think this. I wonder what part of me this is. Is this the me and the here and the now? or is this a part of me that maybe was little?

So we become, aware and we don't judge. We love ourselves through the places in which we have inabilities and we look at them curiously.

And by doing that, we're welcoming Jesus with us. saying, Jesus, you come with me. Let's look at this together. What is this in me? I don't understand it. Show me. ⁓ Illumine my heart. Make it known, Holy Spirit. Let your fire fall. Come and overcome me and consume me and bring light to the places of darkness where I have been bound. I have been afraid. I have been full of shame. I have been lying.

I have not been living as my true self. I have been masked. I have been compartmentalizing parts of me and keeping them from people I love. That is exactly where Satan wants you. He wants you compartmentalized. And let me tell you, all those parts of you that you're hiding from your loved ones, they're not going to be compartmentalized when you die. God in His judgment, He sees everything, His ways, the ways in which He searches the human heart.

unknowable, his ways are unsearchable, who consoles the heart of God, who directs him? Nobody.

He searches our heart. He knows our ways. He sees it already. What are you hiding from? You're hiding from yourself. When we are masked and when we're compartmentalizing, it's a coping mechanism. We're hiding from ourselves. We're buying into the lie If I really come forward and reveal who

I am and what I'm struggling with, that's doom. And a lot of people, take their sins to the grave. A lot of people take these parts of them to the grave where they don't expose them. And this is what I lived in in my marriage for a long long time, until my husband disclosed parts of his heart to me where I finally met my husband for the first time. But guess what? It was a great lesson in love. A great lesson in love. Because God showed me something.

He revealed to me a part of my husband's heart in which I'd never known. Was it painful? Yes. Was it glorious? Yes. Was it holy? Yes. Sacred? Yes. Because the sacrament of marriage is to get us to heaven. My husband's healing is the most important part of our marital journey. My healing, our healing is the most important part of our marital journey. What we do with our lives

How we give them to God. How we overcome sin and darkness and shame. Are you speaking light into your life? Are you guarding your heart above all else so it determines the course of your life? Who are you giving your heart to? What are you believing? We overcome negative self-talk.

intrusive thoughts by staying aware of them. Again, so many more conversations we could have on this. Negative self-talk is a symptom of something else. Okay, go dip your toes into it, dig your heels into it, pray into it, press into it. How do I heal from intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts are often a symptom. They're coming in from the outside, they're unwanted, they're like interrogating us, right? Like they come in, all these intrusive thoughts, we don't want them, they're not from us.

I had intrusive thoughts when I was healing, well before I even knew I was healing from sexual trauma as a child. My intrusive thoughts were speaking to me about something that happened to me when I was a little girl. It didn't just happen once, it happened a lot.

I'm not going to get into that too much or it would have to mark this mature content, right? But intrusive thoughts, depending on what we're talking about here, might be your body telling you, oftentimes is your body telling you there's something going on. It's time to start looking at that thought and taking it captive and bringing it to the Lord.

putting it in front of him and letting the light shine upon it. Don't be afraid. Be not afraid. He is with you. The enemy doesn't want you to stop and look. He wants you to keep functioning in an unhealthy state, in a disordered state, disoriented, not knowing who you are, whose you are, and what your purpose is.

He wants to keep you caught up in chaos. He doesn't want you to live intentionally.

For a little while you may suffer.

but then Christ will come himself and restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. And let me tell you, it is glorious when he comes. It is so glorious to meet the love of the bridegroom. It will change the trajectory of your life.

And then the other question, what does Catholic inner healing look like? We talked a lot about that today,

Are there Catholic Healing Ministries to help? There are tons of Catholic Healing Ministries to help you. Tons. Go type in Catholic Ministries for Families, Catholic Ministries for Singles, Catholic Ministries for Moms. Start with the podcast list on the FIO app, I highly recommend going to the FIO podcasting app, F-

⁓ where it's all Catholic streaming. There's no garbage, there's no junk, you will be filled with the truth. So good. And you can browse by category on there as well. It's really great. So if you haven't yet, I do ask you to subscribe to our podcast. If you can go and subscribe on the FIO app, that would be great. Apple, Spotify, any app that you're listening to, please subscribe. Please leave a review. We love your feedback. Your feedback helps.

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you are the vessel in which we do that, right? Like I'm doing my job, your job is to get the message and share it, share it with others. So if this has touched you in some way, if you could share it with your spouse, your sister, your mom, your co-worker, whatever, share it and then you're welcome to check out our website. We have blog posts on there as well for every podcast episode we do. We have a bi-weekly newsletter where you're able to add your email address and you'll get bi-weekly

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who God made you to be, renewal of the mind, help you feel, help you encounter the Lord in your marriage, in your vocation, in your family life as an individual. Whatever it may look like, we are here to support you and walk with you. So if you could support us in some way, that would be awesome. That would be such a rich blessing. We just really appreciate it. And so we are praying for you. We praise the Lord for the gift of your time today that you popped in. You were able to listen to this a little bit extra long episode.

and so much to unpack here today. We're just dipping our toes in and we're so excited for what's in store. So we just thank you again and I hope that you are able to enter into the mysteries more deeply, invite the Lord into the renewal of your mind and your inmost being so that you can more fully become who he made you to be.

Melissa (1:29:39)
Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. Your presence here is helping our mission at the Abundant Catholic grow into the hearts and homes of Catholic individuals and families around the world. Did you know we offer services? Our team is ready to walk with you through Catholic coaching, couples mentorship, and a free inner-healing ministry. We encourage you to visit us online at theabundantcatholic.com to book your discovery call today. Make sure to tune in bi-weekly for new episodes that drop

fresh on Mondays. Until next time friends, God bless.