Be Still and Live

#27: Rewire Your Stress: How to Regulate Your Nervous System with EFT with Sophia Torrini

• Gillian Gabryluk • Season 1 • Episode 27

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 53:38

Stress can look like productivity while your nervous system is quietly waving a red flag. If you’ve ever thought, “I’m functioning, so I should be fine,” yet you feel wired, exhausted, reactive, or stuck in a loop of scrolling and pushing through, this conversation offers a different explanation and a real path forward.

I’m joined by Sophia Torini, a neuroscience based emotional rewiring expert trained in clinical EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), nervous system regulation, and identity work. We talk about how unresolved emotions can show up as physical symptoms, why your body can hold onto stress chemistry long after you stop thinking about the event, and how dysregulation can masquerade as personality. Sophia breaks down what evidence based EFT tapping actually is, why the body responds to the physical cues of tapping and breath, and how you can work with emotion without reliving the full trauma story.

We also dig into modern stress patterns that hit high achievers hard: constant alerts, morning phone habits, and the cultural belief that rest must be earned. You’ll hear practical tools for body scanning, breathwork to calm the autonomic nervous system, and why HRV matters for resilience. Then we widen the lens into identity rewiring: changing how you think, act, and feel, repairing shame after setbacks, and becoming a more regulated version of yourself through small, consistent shifts in safety.

If you want a gentle reset, I also share Fog to Freedom, a short grounding exercise you can return to anytime the noise builds. Subscribe for more conversations on stillness and healing, share this with someone who looks strong but feels stretched, and if it helps, leave a review so more people can find it. What would change in your life if your nervous system finally felt safe?

Connect with Sophia:

TapIntoYourBestSelf.com

www.neurochangesolutions.com

www.instagram.com/tapintoyourbestself/

www.youtube.com/@TapIntoYourBestSelf

www.tiktok.com/@tapintoyourbestself

www.facebook.com/TapIntoYourBestSelf.org/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophia-torrini/

New here? Start with episodes 1-3: “Take Back Your Life”, "From Hustle to Healing",  and “5 to Thrive.” 

*Start Fog to Freedom Here*

Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts
If this conversation brings you a breath of calm, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review to help others find their own rhythm to thrive. Your feedback helps me reach more people who need this message too.

It’s easy - just click here, scroll to the bottom, tap those five stars, and hit “Write a Review.” I’d love to know what resonated most with you in this episode!
And don’t forget to hit that follow button if you haven’t already! There’s plenty more coming your way - practical tips, inspiring stories, and tools to help you live a life you love. You won’t want to miss out!

Let's Connect on Instagram
sileocoaching.com
Free Guided Fog to Freedom Meditation ...

Why Resistance Keeps Stress Stuck

SPEAKER_03

We know what we resist persists. So if you keep on not wanting to deal with it, not wanting to connect with it and creating it to be a monster, it's not leaving. It's like an animal, right? A scared animal, if you keep on talking back to it, it's just gonna get angry.

Welcome To Be Still And Live

Gillian

If your days feel full, but your heart longs for more meaning, you're not alone. Between the screens, the schedules, and the never-ending noise, it's easy to lose your sense of peace. But what if the way forward isn't found in doing more, but in learning to slow down, to simplify, to be still. Welcome to Be Still and Live, a podcast for individuals, couples, and families longing for calm, connection, and a more meaningful way to live. I'm Gillian, speaker, coach, and founder of Sileo Health and Wellness, and I'm here to help you create space for stillness and step into a life that feels whole and good again. Have you ever noticed how stress doesn't just live in your thoughts, it lives in your body. The tight chest, the shallow breath, the constant hum of urgency, even when nothing is technically wrong. So many people are functioning well on the outside, but internally their nervous systems are exhausted and we've normalized it. But what if anxiety isn't your personality? What if it's a pattern that can be rewired? Today I'm joined by Sophia Torini, a neuroscience-based emotional rewiring expert who integrates clinical EFT, nervous system regulation, and identity work to help people release trauma patterns and create real, sustainable change. Her work centers on the idea that healing doesn't have to take years, and that when we regulate our body, the mind follows. In this conversation, we explore how unresolved emotional conflicts show up physically, how identity and stress patterns are wired into the nervous system, and what it means to become the future version of yourself without bypassing the body. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or quietly dysregulated beneath a capable exterior, this conversation will give you a new perspective on healing. Let's begin. Welcome, Sophia.

SPEAKER_03

I'm so glad you're here today. Thank you very much for having me on your show, and it's an honor being here.

Sophia’s Medical Trauma Turning Point

Gillian

Sophia, I'd love for you to start by sharing your story. Before you were teaching rewiring and nervous system regulation, what was your own relationship with stress?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so like everybody else, I had the regular stresses in life, climbing the corporate ladder, worked in um hospital administration, and then there was an incident that happened, a pretty uh not uh emotionally traumatic, I should say, incident that I did not know how to process, which uh led me to a situation to make a wrong decision and undergo a surgery where I knew it was wrong because they scared me that it had to be done right then and there. I had no choice. As a result, impacted my life for more than 16 years, but I almost lost my life in the process. So I ended up in the hospital for 23 days and I was not expected to come out. But surviving it, now I have no skill set whatsoever to handle this added stress and how to regulate my emotions. And my emotions, I just shut them off, and that kept on leading to more stress, unconscious stress, and more disease. That's basically in a in a nutshell, because I didn't know how to process the signals in the body. I couldn't sit still. I didn't go to drinking and stuff like that, but I got very busy. Another project, another search to do, another research, another treatment, and my life was all around. I mean, I made some good choices on treatments, uh, because I had this this belief at the back of my head, which I had and had disappeared, that somehow the body knows how to heal. But my 30 years of medicine told me that's not possible. But it was at the back of my head, and I kept on searching, and it kept me busy, but I wasn't getting very far. So that was the situation. And then, of course, the accumulated stress after all those years brought me back into a situation where my body was shutting down again for the second time.

Gillian

Yeah, I mean, that sounds exactly like a dysregulated nervous system. When you're dysregulated, they talk about fight, flight, and freeze. And it sounds like you were in that freeze mode when you when you left the hospital, where you weren't letting yourself feel anything. And and I've learned myself because I've experienced it, if you're not properly processing those emotions and processing that that stress and that trauma out of your body, then you can return to it so easily, which it sounds like happened to you.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

How Emotions Store In The Body

SPEAKER_03

And I'd like to take a moment to address that because a lot of my clients say, Well, I haven't been thinking or feeling about that. So let's discuss the process. You have a thought or an experience, let's say it's a thought, you know, a negative thought, that's going to create some uh chemistry in the brain, and then eventually it's gonna activate the limpic brain. The limpic is the emotional brain, the mammalian brain, and it's in charge of your autonomic nervous system. So once there's chemistry produced from the limpic brain, it gets stored in the cells. Now, second law of thermodynamics tells us energy can never be created or destroyed. So you're not thinking about it, but that chemistry was produced and it was deposited in the body, which is why six months later, when you have some anxiety, you get the tightness in the chest. And every motion has a corresponding organ. And we know that from metaconsciousness and basic Chinese medicine. So the lungs have fear for life. That's why during COVID, everybody had respiratory issues, the heart has heartache, the digestion has, depending on if it's constipation or diarrhea, not able to let go. So you get constipated. Diarrhea, I can't process this. This is too much for me. I want it out of my system. So the body actually takes it literally. So that is why the system, and I'm I'm glad you brought it up, is dysregulated because they said, Well, I'm not thinking about it. Well, now you have to clean what was accumulated there, and then it happens again, and it happens again. And at night, traumatic memories can get replayed in your hippocampus, and you're not aware of it, and you wake up in the morning physically exhausted and drained without having restful sleep, and you're wondering

Clinical EFT Tapping Explained

SPEAKER_03

why.

Gillian

You said a whole lot there. I'd love to kind of break this down as we have the conversation, but you work um in clinical EFT and neurochange solutions. I'd love to understand what this is. This is this is new to me, and uh I'd love for you to just share a little bit more about what you do and how you stumbled upon this work.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so let's so I'll tell you what it is and then how I stumbled. Um so clinical EFT is evidence-based EFT. So we use a particular protocol and we use you know clinical trials to test it. So we don't do amateur, you know, videos that are out there. So that's the difference of EFT. And what is EFT? Emotional freedom techniques is a combination of cognitive psychotherapy. So you use some words and some statements by physically tapping on the body's meridians. And remember, we said before, each emotion gets stored in a particular corresponding organ, depending on what the emotion is. So the physical act of tapping, imagine it is a hammer or doing acupuncture without needles, tapping to break that energy that has gotten accumulated and moving it through your system. So that's what EFT does. So it clears the stuff energy, and by you also speaking, you can eventually by releasing the emotion, you can reframe the experience. Let me give you an example. You were a little kid and you were bullied. So you learned when you see a crowd to tighten up. But after we clear the energy, we can see that maybe you survived that, and there was a situation where you stood up for yourself. Now you see it with a different lens. Yeah, that doesn't change that you didn't get bullied. It says, you know what, I survived it, and if I did it then and I stood up, I could do it again. Uh, and I'm not gonna allow this external situation to take away my power. So we do a reframe, we call it a cognitive shift, but that comes naturally from the client. But now they've released the emotion because it's the emotion that usually causes you the challenge. Let's say you get the letter in the mail and you have the tightness in your chest, or you want to go to the interview and you lose your voice because the last interview you messed up. So we want to clear that energy so you can have more power because it's the emotion that's keeping you stuck. Right. So that's in a nutshell, what EFT, and it has shown that it is more effective than cognitive psychotherapy. So it's more effective than psychotherapy and it works faster. So where you would do 10 years of therapy, you just need a year or two uh EFT, and sometimes it clears in a few sessions. Wow.

Gillian

So that's so you're physically tapping your body in different places to release the emotions that you're holding within.

SPEAKER_03

Correct. And let's put a you and you reminded me of another spot. So let's assume, because you talk about stillness. Most people can't be in stillness because they're dysregulated. So they have activated the sympathetic nervous system. So you might be saying, I'm healthy, I'm still uh happy, but you have your sympathetic nervous system activated. The act of tapping physically tells the body they can't be T-Rex right here, they can't be a tiger. So the physical act of tapping changes your brain waves to tell you you're sick. Because if there was a tiger, you wouldn't be type tapping here. Right. So the physical act does something to the body, plus the energy.

Gillian

You can't focus on two things at once. So when your body is focused on the tapping, that's that's where the energy goes, that's where the focus goes, and then you're able to release that emotion.

SPEAKER_03

Correct, correct. Now I do tapping a little different. I add two extra steps. I want them to really breathe into the belly. So constant breathing in the belly, uh, which is inspiration, which is spirit, calms the body down again. So belly breathing calms you down, and then putting your awareness where the energy is. Because if you befriend that awareness for five minutes or 20 minutes we're tapping, that energy is gonna move. We know what we resist persists. So if you keep on not wanting to deal with it, not wanting to connect with it and creating it to be a monster, it's not leaving. It's like an animal, right? A scared animal, if you keep on talking back to it, it's gonna get angry. So you put your awareness on it, it might be uncomfortable for a few minutes, and then you actually physically feel either heat or something, and you actually feel the energy moving.

High Achievers And Phone Driven Dysregulation

Gillian

Fascinating, Sophia. Okay so let's shift to the the cultural lens. Um, the the modern stress patterns that we're seeing in society right now. What do you believe is the greatest stress pattern for people who are, I want to say high capacity, high achieving, people who are very busy and trying to achieve and arrive?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so first of all, there's a lot of demands from the external world and this belief that we have to catch up with everything that's out there and the social media. So high-functioning people are more likely down the road to crash. So they learn how to push through, push through, push through, and eventually the body can't take it. So in the beginning, they think they're great because I pushed through this, I didn't sleep through the night, I got this project done, I'm able to do these a hundred things, but then as we're doing it, the body is learning that this is my new dysregulated state, and at some point it crashes. So I'm glad you do still is because the first thing, the scrolling or these alerts that we have on the phone, or checking the phone all the time, conditions you to become dysregulated. Just the bings and the tings and the whatever the sound is. So if you can check your phone at regular times, that would be better. Also before going to sleep, avoid getting activated. For I don't use social media much other than for business, right? Uh, and first thing in the morning, don't check your phone right away because the majority of the phone, and if you know anything about the news, there's nothing positive in it most of the time. I mean, every so often there's something good. So start your day as you being the creator of the day and how you want to start it. Set your intention, scan your body, see how you're feeling, and plan your day, which is what I usually do. And I don't check my phone till after I've meditated, which is usually by 10:30 or something. Uh, so I haven't seen what's there. And now that I've been doing no emergency, I haven't missed any emergency.

Gillian

Yeah, I love I love that you're mentioning mornings being so important. It's one of the first steps that um I take with my clients when I'm working with them because it changes everything, creates that foundation for the rest of your day and therefore the rest of your life. And it really gives you that opportunity to kind of decide how your day is gonna go and to bring yourself in that into that grounded space where you can fill your own cup first so you can have the capacity for what's in front of you. And it also gives your nervous system that ability to calm and to rest because I think cortisol levels are highest in the morning, correct?

SPEAKER_03

The brain waves are lower as soon as you get out of bed, then your cortisol goes up. So you're when you first wake up in the morning, you go from delta to theta to alpha to beta. When you get into beta, your cortisol's get high. But if they plan their day as soon as they got out of the bed while they're still in alpha, which is the same brain waves we use in hypnosis, then they could start. And yes, then later on your cortisol levels go up.

Gillian

And the scrolling is such an issue, isn't it? I mean, what happens when we never slow down long enough to feel what's unresolved? And like you said, the high performers are often the people who want to push, push, push. You push through college, you push through, you know, your MBA, you push into the best career you can get, and then you climb the ladder and you keep pushing, pushing, pushing. But throughout that pushing, we're rarely slowing down to recognize what's unresolved in our bodies, those, those emotions that we've just been packing down. And like you said, like I work with a lot of people who are mid-life, and that seems to be when the body starts saying no, no more. And we see these autoimmune issues that are just taking over, and this dysregulation where people go into this freeze state where they're on the couch for literally two days, and they their body is no longer functioning because um that person has not listened to their body over time. So at some point, your body just says, nope, because we our body is trying to keep us alive and well. So if we're not going to pay attention and listen and respond to the needs along the way, our body will tell us that it's not gonna, it's not gonna keep moving in that direction until we start listening.

SPEAKER_03

Correct. And uh, so the language for the body is emotions. And when we were little kids, we were not taught to feel the emotions. So basically, the only way it can communicate is with emotions, but because they've now they've gotten out of control, we get terrified. And so when we get hit with anxiety or fear, and I want to bring something interesting. So people think they got a panic attack and it got it just started now. Neuroscience now tells us that the panic attack started an hour ago, but we were disconnected from the body and we didn't pick up the cues. Now, if you had caught it an hour ago, you can stop it. Uh, if you're in it, there's no way to stop it right then and there.

Breathwork, HRV, And Catching Panic Early

SPEAKER_03

It's really hard. So if we keep on scanning and breathing in the body, the old practices that we used to have. So there's a couple of I I like to give clients both EFT and some journaling, but also breath work. So there is these breath works, you know, for 639 and you know, four, four, eight, which call this. So the longer the exhale, the calmer the body is. And actually, if we do a hold at the end, we activate stem cell activation and we lower the uh fear response by holding air. So those are good practices to improve our HRV measurement, uh, which measures it's a biomarker that shows that your nervous system is flexible and can respond on demand. But we also have these other breath work practices, and they're called breath work. They don't call breath. Those are the fast breathing, shamanic breathing, or and those are very helpful even though we have resistance because they bypass the conscious mind. So they can release trauma that you're not aware of. So both in EFT and in breath work, we never take the client to relive the trauma. We only deal with the emotion, and that is a significant difference with other modalities. So if you were to go to therapy, they want you to describe and say what happened. We don't do that in EFT. All we ask is connect with that energy, tell me what were you feeling and what was the belief. We do not want to know the gory details. Why? Because what fires together wires together. And if I have you go through that experience and replay it in your mind, all I've done is I re-traumatized you.

Gillian

Right. Right. Very interesting. So, so how would you say stillness helps someone to begin to notice these patterns? Like you said, how do you begin to? You said it's just stepping into or dropping into their breath and being more aware and slowing down, which we don't do in our culture anymore. We're always on, we're always distracted, we're always pulled somewhere else. How does stillness help improve our ability to be in tune with our body so we can respond earlier to these little nudges?

Stillness For Awareness And New Ideas

SPEAKER_03

So when you're still, so I meditate, but I also scan my body. When you're still and you're observing your body, you can feel in the beginning where the knot it doesn't happen overnight, but within a couple of weeks, right? Uh, you feel these knots in your body. And when you connect with that, you actually often get a message. So this is. Related, I don't know, to some event here or there. Um also when you get in stillness, you get new ideas. That's why a lot of people promote meditation. And the Bible says, be still and know that I am, right? So it's only in stillness where you get these aha ideas. In non-stillness, the brain is an artifact of the past. So you will get recycled information from your past. That is not new ideas. A new idea only arises in stillness. And the great creators, including Steve Jobs, who did the iPhone, who got a new idea, he was a big meditator. So that is in the moment when you actually are connected with the body, then you still, or you see what you can come up with, or what you can visualize. That's when you get your best information. And of most successful people, and a lot of CEOs do close their door, either they visualize or they meditate, and that's what it is, because now you're tuning out the noise from out there.

Fog To Freedom Guided Reset

Gillian

Before we continue, I want to offer you a quiet pause. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, mentally cluttered, or like your mind never truly rests, I'd like to invite you into a quiet reset. Fog to Freedom is a simple grounding exercise designed to help you slow down, release the mental load, and reset. There's no fixing and no pressure, just a quiet pause. So clarity can return and your nervous system can settle. Many people describe feeling lighter, calmer, and more clear after just a few minutes. And it's something you can return to anytime the noise starts to build. If your soul is asking for space, you're warmly invited to begin with Fog to Freedom. You'll find it linked in the show notes or at Solecoaching.com. Come exactly as you are and offer yourself the gift of space and clarity. Thank you for taking that pause. Now let's return to the conversation.

Closing Open Tabs And Neutralizing Trauma

Gillian

The busier life gets and the more responsibilities we have, the more we actually need stillness. The more we actually have to balance out that uh experience, that human experience. We need to shift from, okay, now I'm focused, now I need to be on. But then we need to have these spaces in our life where we're retreating and allowing ourselves to rest and recover, which used to be a part of our daily rhythm as humans, but we no longer have that space because we're constantly distracted by the devices that we carry around. And anytime we have those moments to breathe and be still, we often, if not always, pull out the phone and choose to be distracted. And I describe it as choosing to open a thousand additional tabs in your head just by scrolling. Every time you scroll, there's 25 more tabs that you have open in your head because you've opened yourself up to all of these different worlds that you didn't necessarily, well, you didn't need to be aware of because you have enough within yourself that you need to process.

SPEAKER_03

Correct. So uh I'd like to elaborate because you brought an excellent point. So, and I'm gonna discuss it in two ways. So imagine you're a busy mom and you have a child and you're always, always busy, and your child, which in this case could be your body, uh wants to talk to you. And every time you come from work, you just put food on the table and you go to your room working for your job. I'm just making up a story. That child, if you keep on doing that for 10, 15 years, that child is gonna turn out to be a monster and it's not going to listen to you, and it's gonna be a very demanding, difficult child. That's what happens to the body. You have not been listening to it because you've been ignoring the signals and you've just been putting there and feeding it food with no acknowledgement, it's gonna literally break down. And a lot of times, a lot of emotions and a lot of the electric because the cells have an electrical signal, and when there's emotions stuck in between them, the signal doesn't have the particular correct charge. So it doesn't send the correct signal to the next cell to replicate correctly, which is how we get disease. This ease is the body is not at ease. So now you've created all these conditions, the body became a monster here. So that's one. And now let's go to your second analogy with the tabs. You have a cell phone and you restart it in the morning, but you never close the tabs. After four or five days, you keep on seeing your phone keeps on draining, yet you restart it, you charged it, you restarted it, which is you went to bed, but nothing, you you woke up tired. Why? Because you didn't close the open tabs. You have to, depending on your phone, you swipe up or left whatever you do to close those tabs. So those tabs remain active in the body. So the grudge you have to that person, the worry you have for that thing, keeps these tabs open. And traumatic memories, as I said earlier, keep on replaying in the hippocampus. Only when they get closed. And how do they get closed? By neutralizing the emotion, then they get stored in your neurocortex. That's why you don't wake up rested. So if I were to ask you what you ate 10 days ago, you're not gonna remember because it's stored and time-stamped properly, and it's not of importance. But if there is a big fight you had, every time there's a trigger, it comes up, you literally feel it in the body. Number one, because the emotion was in process. Number two, sometimes traumatic memories are not time stamped correctly. And in order to go and get filed, they have to be stamped correctly, one emotion at a time, picture frame, picture frame. That's where EFT comes in to clear that, timestamp them, and put them in the neocortex. So I had growing up, and from this hospital experience, a lot of traumatic memories. I can now say with absolute guarantee, even I thought it was crazy, when they said those memories are just gonna almost wipe away. I remember them that they happened, but as if it wasn't me anymore. So they're almost like no charge. Sometimes I wonder, did I imagine them or were they better? They were were they really that bad? Uh they didn't disappear overnight. I had to work on them a lot of times, but it's like that story is gone.

Gillian

They're no longer negatively impacting you and having power over you.

SPEAKER_03

That's correct.

Gillian

Wow.

Identity Rewiring: Think Act Feel

Gillian

That's that's so interesting. And and I can only imagine how many people can benefit from this process. You talk about rewiring your identity. Correct. Um, when you talk about this, what exactly do you mean?

SPEAKER_03

So I'm trained under Dr. Joe Dispenza, that's the NCS model, you know, change solutions. So the core principle is your personality creates your personal reality. So how you think, act, and feel has created your present personal reality called your life. And in order to have your personal reality or your life change, you have to change, which means how you think, act, and feel. So if we change these three in you, you actually become a different person. So I can only speak for myself. I was someone who was angry, I still have some anger, angry all the time, and I was very reactive. I am no longer reactive. There's certain fears that were suppressed, but I would recoil that I don't have them anymore because I started changing and I made a decision. I don't want to be that person. Now it doesn't just poof magically disappears. I had to identify what was the think, act, and feeling, what held those memories. Actually, what memories held those those emotions, I should say. And as a result, the personality changed. And we can use it over health. So a lot of people think they can't do it over health. So besides healing, I'll give a concrete example for vision, because I think it's vision is something people think cannot improve. So after my hospital experience, I my vision significantly got damaged. So this I almost ended up with plus five, and this was 275. I went and I used tapping with mapping it to particular memories, and this I has gone down to 325, and this has gone to two. So by clearing those emotions and clearing how I was viewing those memories, my vision improves. Because what does metaconsciousness say? When you're not able to see, it's not because you're just aging, as we are taught to believe. I was afraid to see my future, I was afraid to see what I was experiencing, and the body does it as a protective mechanism. Imagine there's a storm coming, a hurricane coming, right? So what do you do? You live inside the house, you're gonna close your shutters because you don't want the storm to destroy your house. When you are not emotionally capable, the eyes are the windows of your house. So by the body will distort and damage your vision, so you don't get the full signal because otherwise it can't handle it because you have so much dysregulation. So it's a protective mechanism that the body does, and it distorts our vision.

Gillian

So if somebody wants to become a calmer, more regulated version of themselves, where would you recommend beginning? I mean, you talked about you have to change your personality, and that is how you think, act, and feel. Is one of those things more important than the other?

SPEAKER_03

I think the feelings are the strongest, but you have to work on them in others. But overcoming the emotion is the hardest one. And then it has to become think, act, and feel, and now you have to behave the new you. Right? So you clear the so you identify, you know what? I'm an angry person, or I judge everybody 24-7. Okay, so now I have to overcome the feeling of judgment. Why am I judging them? Usually we judge them because behind it, if I judge you and I make you look bad, I won't feel not good enough. That's the true behind if you go and keep on asking questions, you will see. I judge this person because she has something better than I do. There because, and if I acknowledge it, I'm gonna feel more of not good enough, and I don't like that. So overcoming the emotion is the hardest. Now you have to practically start becoming catching yourself when I'm about to judge. Uh, but now I'm gonna bring what you said. I do need the stillness because I have to observe what my behavior is. And without stillness, I don't get awareness. So I need stillness to get awareness, catch the thought. Now I do my work, which is the hardest one emotion, that's where EFT comes in. And I can use some breathing modalities to regulate myself when the impulse comes. Right. So the breathing calms you down, the rewriting and the rewiring happens with EFT.

Gillian

Okay. Now, what would you say to somebody? Um, because I've seen this in myself a million times over, I still do, and I see it in my clients. When we go from being distracted all the time and avoiding, avoiding, avoiding, and we choose to be still and we feel that awareness, it's so easy to freak out. Because you start recognizing what what's actually going on, you get clarity. And that that's scary. It's scary to look at your demons, if you will, or to look at these areas of your life that have been keeping you stuck, these areas that you've been avoiding. How do you walk people through that resistance that they feel when they start to get still and they start to become aware? Because there's a reason we're all choosing to be distracted rather than aware. We're it's a coping mechanism in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_03

Correct. Uh, first of all, there's a few layers. Number one, we've been addicted. So just like an addiction with heroin, here you're addicted to an emotion, which is distraction. But the only reason we choose to be distracted is because that feeling that's behind the distraction is more, it appears to be more emotionally challenging than distraction. So it's easier to beat yourself up and say, I'm gonna be distracted. Let's say you have a big project and there's a part of you that feels you're going to fail, the bot, the subconscious mind is gonna decide for you, because you haven't been honoring the body, that it's going to distract you because it's gonna protect you from you putting all your energy and failing. Yeah, if you were to sit and get the uncomfortable feeling that's below the distraction, and you can work with that, and yes, it will be uncomfortable because now you can't predict. That's why it's so uncomfortable. You can't predict what's gonna happen next. Am I gonna succeed? Is it gonna work well? If you can overcome that, a door opens and you regain that energy and you can proceed. So, in the beginning, it's not easy. So, my first year of meditation, and Dr. Dispenza in those days had long meditations, an hour and 15 minutes. It was almost impossible for me to sit still. I just couldn't. It was really hard. But uh continued persistence and continued persistence brought it. Also, when you sit still, your unconscious fears are start to rise up, and that's what terrifies you or me. And if we can see it's just energy, and there is science that tells us emotions only last 90 seconds to two minutes. Now you're gonna ask me, how come my anger lasts for an hour or a day? Uh the answer to that is you engage the brain. If you were just to feel the emotion without the commentary of the brain, I can't believe he did it. How dare he do that? If you were just to feel it as energy and breathe into it, which is what the Buddha taught, it's only gonna last 90 seconds or two minutes max.

Gillian

I've never heard this before.

SPEAKER_03

It's uh I can't remember who the name is. Uh, she's a neuroscientist. It's been tested.

Gillian

Wow. Wow. So as long as you can kind of I'm I wanted to say brace yourself, but you don't want to brace yourself. You want to relax, you want to flow, you just want to drop into it and observe it and not let it um put you in that fight or flight state where you're alert and you're angry and you're stressed out. I mean, I'm learning a lot from this conversation because I see this in myself and I'm I'm going through my own healing process as well, um, and trying to regulate myself as a busy mother of four. I mean, I'm constantly poked at when I need those times of stillness. They're not always available. It's it's hard to find them. But I'm realizing the more that I bring my children into this and I just talk to them about what I need, and I verbalize what I'm trying to do for myself so that I can be better for them. And I invite them into it as well. Like, why don't you sit beside me? We'll we'll breathe together, we'll, you know, read this devotional together, whatever it looks like, that then they become a part of it instead of me trying to resist it and separate myself from you know, these little people who are needing to learn these tools from me as I learn them myself.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And I think that uh you're doing a great job there because they now feel included and they're learning from a young age a skill you and I were not taught when we were growing up. Because one of the things they say, you master your emotions, you master your creations, and other people use the word feeling is the healing. And Neville Goddard had a book, Feeling is the secret. Feeling is the secret, yes. And these are famous spiritual teachers, and it's all about the emotion, because the emotion has a larger electromagnetic field than the thought. The thought is electric, the emotion is magnetic, which is why emotions are more challenging for us. And the other thing we that we didn't touch, but we indirectly discussed, we need to have what we call brain and heart coherence. So our intentions need to be aligned with our actions and behaviors. So a lot of times we say, I want to lose weight. So your conscious mind says, Yes, I want to lose weight, but there's a voice in your head, no, you won't, no, you can't. And so you don't go ahead. And then people say, No, no, no, but that's what I wanted. Yeah, your 5% wanted it, but you're fighting over the 95% that's been already programmed. So your conscious mind and your subconscious has to be aligned. You can't break to two masters.

Gillian

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

The brain and heart is important. So the feeling in the heart, I can do it, I am capable, plus the intention, I'm going on the diet, they have to be aligned. And that's where also the HRV helps. Because if you're dysregulated with beta brainwaves, there's no way you're going to succeed.

Gillian

Interesting hearing the science behind all of

When You Backslide: Shame To Repair

Gillian

this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go one layer deeper into my example. What happens when you fall back into an old pattern? Like when I snap at my kids and I yell at them because I'm feeling dysregulated, and that's what I'm that's learned behavior. That's something that I've done for much of my life as my response, my coping mechanism. What do you do when you fall back into those patterns and you want to shame yourself and you feel terrible about it and you want to give up and you feel like you, you know, haven't made any progress when really you have? What can you say to the person who keeps kind of cycling back?

SPEAKER_03

What I do for a client. So all your patterns starting between the ages of the first trimester in the room till about seven. I push it till 13 because some kids develop later, right? So there's usually, first of all, you're addicted to that emotion and you've been trying to overcome it with only awareness. If you go back and find the original pattern, and sometimes it could be two, three memories, sometimes it's only one memory, and you release the emotional charge of the original memory and rewrite the memory, which is what the other thing I do is called hacking reality and Neville Goddard's work, it was called revision. In the Bible, it's the story of the unjust steward, that's the revision. You actually rewrite that memory. Now the likelihood of you snapping, if you do that a few times, is gonna stop. Because that original seed is there. It's like having hit your knee on the table. Yes, it healed, but if you've hit it 20 times before and you hit it again, that area is still sore. So when you go and remove that, we call it an imprint, you remove that imprint from you because at some point that behavior served you when you were younger. For whatever reason, it may have served you. And that's why you use it. So there could be a wiring, you know, if I snap, they'll listen to me, even though you know they don't listen, but somehow that memory. Or he got distorted back in time.

Gillian

I love that there's a path forward. And I love that you're talking about, and I know Joe Dispensive work, I know his work, I don't know it well, but I love this idea of being able to recreate your personality and your future self. We are, we are always, we have the capacity to constantly refine ourselves and to become a version of ourselves that's just more likely to process our life experience and to be in a state of peace and to experience joy. And I feel like so many people are striving for that right now. I'd love for you to speak to the person who's feeling stuck, who's feeling stressed and overwhelmed and really doesn't know where to

Future Self Alignment And Healing Hope

Gillian

start. What advice do you have for them for some type of integration?

SPEAKER_03

So what was wired, first of all, can be unwired and rewired. So we know now age plays no role. Everybody is neuroplastic. That's number one. Let's use also, so no matter where you are, if you're willing to do a little work in the beginning, um, and we'll never get re-traumatized because we don't want to traumatize you can get out of it and create something new. Now let's address why Dr. Joe's work works. First of all, we know from neuroscience and from quantum physics, all realities exist in the now. So there's a future self that's very happy and healthy, but there's also a future self that's miserable. The only reason you keep on reverting to the miserable realities is because of the emotional addiction. So your future self already exists in the now. You don't have to create the future self. All you need to do is align to it. And the way we align is based on our emotions. So you never heal this body, you never change exactly this personality, you move to a parallel version where you're whole. That was very important to me when I was sick because I said, How can a body that's been 20 years old uh sick heal? I didn't heal this body, I moved to a parallel version where my body was whole and it had a different history. And how do I know that's true? Number one, because I've done it. Number two is we have three experiments that got the Nobel Prize. Number one, the double slit experiment. The double slit quantum eraser goes back in times and rewrites time, and the non-locality Nobel Prize for 2022.

Gillian

Absolutely fascinating, Sophia. I I love this conversation. And I love hearing the the science behind all of these techniques, because that is the beauty of the technology that we have available to us right now. It is not all bad. There's so many amazing things that we are learning about the human body and the human mind and the soul and all of these parts and pieces and how they work together so beautifully. And the more understanding we have, the better that we can work through these difficult things that we're experiencing in our culture today.

How To Work With Sophia

Gillian

So there's there's certainly hope. So I'd love to give you the opportunity to just share a little bit more about yourself and how people can work with you and reach out to you, connect with you.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely. So they're welcome to come to my website, tap into your best self.com. I offer a 30-minute complimentary session, and I'll give you recommendations or suggestions. Um, and I also have um a 75-minute masterclass uh doing a preview of Dr. Joe's work. I feel that if the person works with their emotions and combines it with the course, uh that's all they need. They don't need nothing else to heal, which is what has worked for me and has worked for many clients. And I'm gonna say again, if I was expected to die and I was guaranteed I was gonna die and I'm still alive, and I didn't have any special training at the time, that means you can do it too. I I had no special gift, and these are the exact practices. So I'd love anybody to come to my website. I also use metaconsciousness, so I can tell you the biological program that's causing the disease. So pneumonia, for example, is fear of life. Um, high blood pressure is anger from your close environment that you're not able to express. Heartburn is anger that you're not speaking up, or you refusing to digest. So we can work on that, and no matter where you are, what the condition is, there's always another version of you that is home. I have a paralyzed woman who has started to move her hands more and walks now without a cane. And we found the memories that have caused it. And she hasn't been, you know, working with me for years. It's just been a few months.

Gillian

Wonderful, wonderful. And I'm learning more about this, just recently learning about um this um this death doula who works with people when they have um received news that they are on death's doorstep. So they may have stage five cancer or an ailment that is going to, you know, um, that's going to cause them to pass in the near future. And this coach starts to work with them and helps them to start living the life that they always wanted to live, that they always said no to. So the executive will start learning the violin and the stay-at-home mom will go to a hospital and start volunteering her time in the nursery there holding the babies. And this coach has said that there's a percentage of these people who go into remission because their body starts to heal, because they've freed themselves to be the person that they were called to be, the person that they always wanted to be, but always said no to because there was something in more important. So I just think that this is all very real. And when we release all of this pressure we put on ourselves, that we create this environment that allows us to heal. It's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely. And yeah, they're changing their personality by doing that. So the mom who goes now and volunteers her time, she's changing her personality, how she thinks, acts, and feels. It goes back to that. That's why all these modalities are very healing. And there's a future self, one who died and one who didn't. And you're making a decision which of the two realities you're going to align. That I know very firsthand because I know who was that version of me that was expected to die. I had a very different thinking. Hmm, interesting.

Gillian

So much hope wrapped up in that conversation. So thank you so much, Sophia, for being here and sharing your wisdom.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you very much for having me. And I hope your audience found this very helpful. And I'd be happy to help anyone who was on the journey to find another way out from this maze.

Gillian

Wonderful. Thank you for that offer. Have a great day, Sophia. This

Stillness As The Real Rewire

Gillian

was such an important reminder that transformation isn't about forcing a new mindset. It's about creating safety in the body. For those listening, maybe the invitation today isn't to become someone entirely new. Maybe it's to gently notice where am I holding stress? Where have I mistaken dysregulation for personality? And what would it feel like to move through my life from a regulated, grounded place? Small shifts in safety create profound shifts in identity. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who carries a lot, someone who looks strong on the outside, but may feel stretched on the inside. And before you move out into the world and into your next task, take a pause. Take one steady breath. Let your nervous system settle. Because often the most powerful rewiring begins in stillness. Thank you for listening to Be Still and Live. As always, my hope is that this conversation offered you a little more space. Space to breathe, to listen, and to come home to what matters most. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to subscribe to the show and consider sharing it with someone who could use a little more space or clarity right now. That simple act helps this work reach the people who need it most. If you're ready for a gentle next step, you can begin with Fog to Freedom in the show notes or at SileoCoaching.com. Until next time, be still and live.

SPEAKER_01

This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or email Mike at mike at cardinalstudio.co. You can also find the details in the show notes.