Juanita Raya -- What if Rock Bottom is Not The End?

A car crash that should’ve ended everything and a life so heavy with shame she couldn’t imagine a way back. Juanita tells about addiction and what it costs, and walks us through the slow, practical road to recovery that followed. Today she serves as a mission maker at Union Gospel Mission of Tarrant County, and she brings credibility -- because she’s also been a resident, dealing with the same emotions she now sees in others.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome home, Hear Us Now, a podcast of the Union Gospel Mission of Terrent County, a space for all of us seeking what's real and sacred in a world that rushes past the soul.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

I'm Eric Englman, a volunteer at UGMTC, and your co-host, President and CEO of UGMTC, Charles Wolford. Well, good morning, Eric, my brother and my friend.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

It's so good to see you as always. I'm just excited today. We have an amazing guest. I want to make an introduction to our Welcome Home Podcast family. I want to introduce Juanita Rea. Juanita, good to have you. Welcome to the Welcome Home Podcast. Thank you for having me. Very good. It is so good to see you as always. And we thought it not robbery. We would be remiss if we did not take the time to share with you this amazing testimony, the amazing work of God. Juanita comes to us as a family member, as a friend, as one of our mission makers here at UGM. Officially, welcome, Miss Juanita. So good to have you.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

I want to share with our podcast listeners the miracle that you are and the journey that God has had you on.

Serving Women Through Housekeeping

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Share with them currently what you're doing at Union Gospel Mission, what your current role is, and how is that with you and how how how is that going for you?

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Well, I um I'm in housekeeping at UTM. Uh I'll be there three years in June. Um I love uh sharing with the female residents because I've been there before. Um I lived there in 2009 and 10, and so I know what they're going through. Sometimes they get discouraged or they get impatient or they just want to leave. And I share with them that I lived there almost two years, and God's got a beautiful gift for them if they just be patient and wait for his miracle.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Amen. Well, you make such an impact in the lives of so many that come through UGM, and you have a testimony in that story. So you uh currently are a mission maker at UGM. For those of who are listeners, uh, Eric, our neighbors who work with us as well as our staff, we call them mission makers because we believe that we are on a mission. Uh, and God reminds us in what Matthew the 28th chapter, verse number 19, go ye therefore and make disciples. So we're on mission to have disciples for Jesus Christ, and Juanita is an amazing mission worker. So let's talk through your 2009-2010 journey.

Treatment Exit And Finding Shelter

SPEAKER_03 2:26

How did you find Union Gospel Mission?

SPEAKER_04 2:30

Well, I was in treatment across the street, and um, I didn't have nowhere to go after I was gonna get out of treatment, so I was homeless, and thank God UGM uh had a bed open, so I went to go live there. I remember attending these alpha classes. They would talk about the Bible, we would read about it, and then we'd discuss what we read. They broke down the Bible for me because I remember I would read the Bible and I didn't understand what I was reading. But the Alpha classes, they explained and they broke everything down for me. I remember I started to understand God. I started to understand him, and I chose a loving God, a forgiving God because I had done so much harm to people. I've hurt, I cheated, and I lied to so many people. And when I found God, I realized that He forgave me. And so that gave me hope. Thank God they had Alpha classes once a week, and that's what helped me get through this stuff that I had done to hurt people, I was able to forgive myself. And I thank UGM for that. They saved my life, they turned my life around.

unknown 3:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

Well, thank you for sharing that. We're so grateful. And the ability for you to just share that so concisely of what happened in your journey. Like, can we unpack that just a little bit? So uh you shared in 2009 and 10, you stayed with us, but prior to you had some cycles of addiction. Do you mind just sharing a little bit of how that cycle of addiction got you to Eugene?

SPEAKER_04 4:08

I

Meth Addiction And Losing Self-Worth

SPEAKER_04 4:09

got introduced to methamphetamine at the age of 26. And I'll never forget the first time that I did that, it felt like, oh my God, I was somebody. I wasn't afraid. I was pretty, I was skinny. I liked that feeling. And I chased that feeling for years and years and years. Methamphetamine made me do things I swore I'd never do. It took me places I swore I'd never go. When you have an addiction and you don't have a job, you start stealing, you start lying. And this took me through an ugly dark path. I started selling my body out in Grand Prairie. I started prostituting myself. And I'll never forget the first time I did that. Um the very first time I did that, I lost myself. I had no self-esteem, no self-worth. I felt trashed. I felt so horrible. But my I was so consumed in my addiction that I drank myself to death and I did methamphetamine so much. It became my number one priority. I put that before my daughter, my mother, and I have four grandkids. I put it before them. I just lived life like that. And I look back today, how God has saved my life. I'm driving down 30 one morning, going to work, and I fall asleep behind the wheel. I hit the wall. And I remember coming to this lady pulled over. She called 911 for me, and she um she asked me if I was okay. And I said, uh, I'm just scared. So the fire department gets there and I could see them um looking at me and they would talk and turn. And I'll never forget that firefighter came up to me and he said, Miss Raya, the speed that you were going, this car should have blown up. And this happened just right up the street at the Mixmaster. At that moment, I was like, I wish it would have. Because if you didn't like me, that was okay. I hated me. I hated the person I have become. I just kept going like that. My daughter stopped talking to me because of my addiction. One day she comes up to me and she says, Mother, you've got to do something. And I'll never forget. A doctor told me, Miss Raya, every time you put that pipe to your mouth, it's like taking a drink of a car battery. And I didn't care. I did not care because I just felt like I had gone so far there was no going back. I never thought of asking God for help because I just felt like I've gone too far, just too far. And there was a time that my grandkids got taken away from their mother. My granddaughter was 13, and she says, Grandma, we got permission from the judge that we can spend a day with you. All you gotta do is take a drug test. I hung up that phone and I knew that wasn't gonna happen because there was no way I could put that pipe down. That pipe was my number one priority. When I had that accident, I carried that pipe everywhere with me. I used to carry it in my bra. And I remember thinking that during that accident, I just need to get somewhere where I can hit this pipe and calm these nerves. Never thinking that God saved me. God's given me another chance after chance after chance. And I just felt like I was so far gone. There was no hope, there was no fixing everything that I had done.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Wow. Praise

Why You Can’t “Just Stop”

SPEAKER_03 7:49

the Lord. Look at what He's done. You are a miracle. Walk us through uh there's someone listening today. One, they're trying to process what you just shared. And for them, they may have a family member or a friend or some loved one who the question that looms is, why can't you just stop? Can you help us understand that a little bit for someone who may not clearly understand the cycle of addiction and how it's so captivating and the whole world just stops, and that's the only thing that they rely on.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

You know, Charles, a lot of times my family would say, We need to just stop. And when I was so consumed in my addiction, I didn't know how to stop. And the only way that I learned to stop was I had to find God. Jesus Christ was the only one that was going to save me from this. And when you feel lost with no hope, there's nothing left but God. He's the only answer to my addiction. And I know there's a lot of people out there. Um, we just tried to be tough out there in the streets and stuff, but honestly, I don't know how I made it this far if it wouldn't be for God. And he's the answer. He's the only answer, he's the only one that can turn your life around, he can change your life, and he can if you ask for help with all your heart, he will begin to open doors and put people in your life. And sometimes you don't believe that, but I know that for a fact, 100%, because I was so far gone that I didn't feel like I had a chance to turn my life around. So I know there's people out there that are lost and have no hope, but I promise you, if you ask God with all your heart, He will save your life and give you a different life.

unknown 9:58

Amen.

What Families Can Do Now

SPEAKER_03 9:59

For the family member who has tried all the resources they've sent a family member or friend to treatment and it's not worked, they've sent them to many different centers, and it just does not seem as if it's working, and they've thrown their hands up. What would be the ray of hope for them? Just this Friday, Eric, I received a phone call. It was 10 p.m. at night with one of our staff members. There was an email that came through our UGM portal, and this mother was in distress. She had a son who was inebriated in the backyard, was high on drugs, and she did not know what to do or where to turn. This was 10 p.m. on Friday night. A staff member and I just kind of worked through some solutions and connected to some resources in community. This family member agreed to go to detox, and so we're praying for that person. That scenario happens regularly and often, and unfortunately, some of our family members are in distress because they have a someone that they love, it can be a son or a daughter, and they don't know where to turn. We need to talk to that family member that's now in uh a crosshairs, they're at a cross point and they don't know what to do. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_04 11:09

Well, to be honest with you, Charles, there's nothing nobody can do to help this person. And if there is somebody, it has to be outside help. I can't help my daughter, I can't help my granddaughter. If they're on drugs and alcohol, I'm the last person to help them. And a lot of times we have to hit our rock bottom to honestly be ready. Because if I'm not ready to change, and if I change for you, the minute you turn your back, I'm gonna be drinking behind your back. We have to. I myself have to be completely ready. You can guide them, you can show them, you can tell them where to go get help, but we have to be ready. I have to be ready to change that. The only thing I could say is pray for that family, for the parents. This person may have hit their rock bottom and they may have not. It's just like me. I had to go through everything that I went through to be right here where I am today. And I wouldn't change nothing. If I had a choice to give any female resident my peace and my freedom, I wouldn't do that either because I would steal their journey. I had to go through mines.

unknown 12:28

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

That that rock bottom is a horrible place. What we know through scripture is the epitome of what's defined as an experience like hell is that that separation between us and God. And that's literally what it sounds like. What happens is that when someone's in their cycle of addiction, they go so far away from God that they feel like they're at the bottom. It is a pit. What I'm hearing you say is that a person who is at rock bottom, they need the presence of God to step back into their lives. They need the presence of God to show up. And so there's a to that family member, that friend who has a loved one who is spiraling out of control, the thing that they can pray is that God please uh intercede on their behalf. And if they're at the bottom, God lift up their eyes. And that scripture says, My help comes from the Lord. And I would submit that they have to lift up their eyes unto the Lord.

Rebuilding Life Through Accountability

SPEAKER_03 13:28

Uh, let's just talk a little bit about now what's happening, the celebration that you're having and the joy that you're having. Before we close out, I'm going to give a couple of resources to someone who has a family member who's in their cycle of addiction. So stay tuned to the end of this podcast because I want to provide some resources. But let's talk about the grace that is now representative in your life, what God is doing for you now, how is your relationship with your family and your friends, what's happening with you now at UGM and the work that you're doing and the family that you've created here. Let's talk about the journey and the and the promised land of God that you're experiencing.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Since I've been at UGM, Charles, my life has come together. Um, I've had so many miracles and blessings. Um that grandchild that I hung up the phone and ignored. Today she lives with me. She forgave me a long time ago. Um, you know, when before I got to UGM, I had an expired driver license. I owed Uncle Sam some money because I did some crooked stuff. Um, there's just so many things that I was running from. And I remember Jackie Harvey being uh head of housekeeping, and I used to bump heads with him because he would tell me, Juanita, you need to make some goals. And I'm like, Mexicans don't make goals. I'm speaking for myself. And we kept bumping heads, and he says, Juanita, he says, you're gonna go get on a payment plan. He took me downtown, he dropped me off, and I told him, I'm scared when I walk in, they're gonna put me in jail. He goes, Juanita, get on a payment plan. I got on a payment plan. I finally finished paying my tickets. I got to renew my driver's license. I'm okay with Uncle Sam. I've gotten my life together. Um, God has turned my life around. He's picked me up, he's turned my life around, he's changed my whole outcome. I don't talk to any of my old playmates. I don't hang around in playgrounds. I used to like being at um game rooms three hours in the morning, and I don't do none of that stuff. I made a commitment before I get on social media. I read my Bible and I got a daily reflection. I promised to God I would put him first. And ever since then, I got a freedom. I got peace. I'm not controlled by that drug no more. And uh UGM keeps me on my on that path. This keeps me on my path. When I'm asked to do something, I'm not allowed to say no. Whether I like it or not, I'm gonna do it because it's all about God. God's the one that did this for me, and I'm only alive because of Him.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

Oh wow, what a great testimony. Um, we're so grateful for your journey and what God is doing. You are a blessing to each and every one of us. And let me just speak to an a podcast listener. Uh, the takeaway that you've just shared is that high level of accountability. You really made a choice to be accountable to God and then to your family, and you've made a turn, uh, even making sure that your bills are caught up and that you are responsible to pay your debt to give it back. Because you know, Eric, what happens sometimes in in deliverance and when people come back, they want the hole that they've dug for themselves. They want somebody just to come and cover the hole up, versus filling it back in. And that's literally what you've done, Miss Juanita. Your testimony is God showing up in your life and you being responsible to not just have somebody cover the hole back up, but you literally filled it back in, and now you can walk across any bridge and any journey because you have the confidence that's in Jesus Christ, because you've done the hard work and I know that it's been a hard journey. And we want to personally thank you for your testimony, for the journey that God is taking you on, and the blessing that you are to so many of us that are UGM. You are a tremendous blessing to us all.

Detox Resources And Where To Reach UGM

SPEAKER_03 17:23

To our listeners, I want to leave a couple of resources and we will give these to you verbally, but we'll find some way to post these up on the website because these are some resources that could be available to some of our neighbors who may be seeking to find a space for someone who needs assistance. One, you talked about your resource. Pine Street is a detox facility that so many of our neighbors find themselves coming to. Millwood Detox Center is another resource for some of our neighbors. If you would look at that, that would be an option for them. There's a great detox center that is also in Sugarland, the Houston Addiction Treatment Center, which is Skyward. So we just want to put those out to anyone that's seeking assistance that may need uh an additional handout. We also have partnership with MHMR here in the Dallas Fort Worth area, would be a great resource for anybody who's seeking assistance who need additional wraparound services. And if those are not resources, you can go to ugm.tc.org. That will be a place to connect with us to ask for help. We would encourage you to visit the Welcome Center at Union Gospel Mission. That address is 1350 East Lancaster. If you come into the Welcome Center, we will find a staff and a team member who will get you assistance that you need. And if you're the family or friend of someone who's needing some help, don't hesitate to email us, go online, reach out, we'd be more than happy to walk you through this journey.

Final Encouragement And Closing Prayer

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Uh, it has been a pleasure to have this conversation with you, Miss Juanita. I'm gonna leave you uh this space to give us one last word to anyone who may be listening or anything that you feel like you want to share that's on your heart, and then Mr. Eric will close us out as he always does. So gracefully.

SPEAKER_04 19:01

If there's anybody out there that's lost and you need help, reach out to God. I promise you, I promise you, he will not let you down. He will open doors and put people in your life. So just seek him, please, just seek him.

unknown 19:18

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

What needs to happen is for us to look up, be aware a little bit of the power, the might that God has in his life, the option that our listeners have to change lives, to actually let the penny drop that God wants to live with you. Lord Jesus, thank you for your love, your joy, your peace, and you're the demonstration of your mighty power in us who believe, especially in our sister Juanita, in Jesus' name. Amen.