20 Secrets to Maximising your BNI Membership
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20 Secrets to Maximising your BNI Membership
20 Secrets to Maximising Your BNI Membership - Secret 12
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In this episode, Hollie Green joins hosts Chris Mutimer and Jeremy Dart and explores the philosophy that sits at the heart of BNI—Givers Gain. Discover why the most successful members focus on creating value for others first, and how a generous mindset builds stronger relationships, deeper trust, and long-term business success.
📝 Key Topics Covered
- ❤️ The Givers Gain philosophy — why giving without expectation creates lasting business relationships.
- 🤝 Building trust before transactions — how genuine generosity leads to stronger referrals and collaboration.
- 🌱 A mindset that transforms networking — shifting the focus from "What can I get?" to "How can I help?"
- 💡 Creating a culture of contribution — how small acts of support strengthen chapters and elevate every member.
- 🚀 The long-term rewards of generosity — why members who consistently add value experience greater personal and professional growth.
🎧 Listen now and take your BNI networking to another level.
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You're listening to the 20 Secrets to Maximize Your BNI membership podcast, where we meet the book's contributors, delve deeper, discuss, explore the strategies and tactics behind each of the 20 secrets. If you're a BNI member, prepare to meet some of the most effective BNI members in Australia. And here are your hosts, Chris Mutimer and Jeremy Dodd.
SPEAKER_03Welcome back, listeners, to the 20 Secrets to Maximising Your B I Membership podcast. Great to have everyone back. And of course, welcome back, Jeremy. The legend. The legend of the world. I'm not sure whether you're a legend today. Hey everybody. People can't see you waving to the crowd. I didn't wave. There was more. Alright, so this is a great going to be a great podcast. So we've got a very special guest. So it's going to be awesome. Yeah, so I'll do a little intro here. So every BI member knows the phrase givers gain. Hopefully Jeremy knows that. But how many truly understand what it means and more importantly, how to live it every day? So let's do an introduction. Our guest today is someone who truly understands the philosophy that sits at the very heart of BI. Holly Green is the author of Secret 12, The Giver's Gain Mindset. In her chapter, Holly explores why the most successful BI members aren't necessarily the best networkers or the best salespeople. They're often the people who consistently looked for ways to help others succeed. So today we're going to unpack what givers gain really means, how it can transform your BI experience, and why a mindset of generosity often creates opportunities that no marketing campaign ever could. So Holly, welcome to the podcast.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_05So Holly, as you know, as we all know, and I know very well, givers gain is the cornerstone philosophy of B and I, and yet many people just see it simply as giving referrals. What do you think about that, Holly?
SPEAKER_00I think that people misunderstand what give us gain is, and people who join BI don't actually understand what the true givers gain actually is.
SPEAKER_05So tell me, how did you uh come about choosing this particular topic for the for your chapter in the book?
SPEAKER_00Because the one I wanted was gone? No.
SPEAKER_05We hear that so often.
SPEAKER_00I know, right? No, I think that it resonates with me because um there are a lot of people that come into BI expecting and wanting, and what is B and I going to give them and why would they waste time on it? Whereas someone like me, I kind of went into it going, well, I need people to support my clients, and I also genuinely love seeing other people succeed. So I want to be giving, and that returns the favor eventually. Sometimes it takes longer than what you might expect, but it's really a long-term game to just be a giver naturally, I guess.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, I love that. It's it's it really moves it from a transactional thing to something that's giving first and then the law of reciprocity, which we all talk about. So yeah, no, that's that's great.
SPEAKER_03Another big word by you.
SPEAKER_05Thank you.
SPEAKER_03You've been reading the dictionary.
SPEAKER_05Do you want to get a dictionary and work out what that means? Well, you've been reading the dictionary or I mean you if you've done your managed success programme, you would have actually known.
SPEAKER_03I just I just remember in the last episode you used a big word too, so that's two at two from two. Sorry, Chris.
SPEAKER_05Do you want me to I'll bring it down for you if you like.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. I'm congratulating you. So sorry, Holly.
SPEAKER_05He's trying so hard to put me under the bus.
SPEAKER_02It's pretty easy.
SPEAKER_05The bus. Yeah, thank you, Holly. I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_03I appreciate that. I'm not even I'm not even not even. Alright. Let's go. Now, what why, Holly, why do you think some members misunderstand givers gain?
SPEAKER_00I think um probably they're maybe entitled or a little bit selfish in terms of um they m expect people to return the favor when true givers gain is giving and not expecting, and sometimes you don't get anything from it. And sometimes you might go out of your way and help people in the most amazing ways, and they genuinely can't give back or don't. Um, and then people get upset about that as well.
SPEAKER_05It's really, really interesting. I was just thinking about that. Um, one of the one of the key things that I think is that generosity, we we live in a society where, as you said, there's an expectation. People are this expectation.
SPEAKER_00I've given you this, or what you're gonna give me.
SPEAKER_05A sense of entitlement, right? So yeah, but what I love about what um the law of reciprocity means and givers gaze.
SPEAKER_00Using the big words again, yes.
SPEAKER_05Well, and I think it's important we have an we have an educated audience here. Um, why the generosity of that often creates more opportunities than we even see coming. I think that's the real power. I don't know if you've experienced that, Holly.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. I often get comments about treating people the same no matter who they are. So I could be talking to a CEO or a homeless person or someone in great need of help, and I still treat them all the same because people are still people and need help in various ways, and I've never ever had the expectation of them helping me back.
SPEAKER_05That's good. You've actually stumped Chris. He's sitting there going, Well, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_03Well, I was just thinking it's really authenticity, and you can spell you can spell that later. But if you're authentic the entire time I can spell and you're the s and you're yourself, I think that's at the heart of Gibby's game. So I was just thinking about what Holly was saying there, Jeremy.
SPEAKER_00So I thought I think some people are natural givers and others aren't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And it it's very obvious when when people aren't. We had a I had an interesting example like actually yesterday in our um in our chapter meeting when someone came in a visitor, um, and he just went full sales mode. Like d didn't really understand uh the the core tenet of of B and I around building relationships and and the givers' philosophy. He was just a salesperson and was, oh my god, it was so stark. You know, it's very, very obvious when someone is is doing that and it it was it was very jarring. Um if you're in a situation where someone is selling to you, you sort of understand it, but in the B and I context, oh it just doesn't work. No, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_00It was a and you can tell who's gonna be a good B and I member, and it took me a long time to realise this, but you can tell the people that are gonna be good members and the people that aren't. And I actually just nominated myself to go on the membership committee to help with this because I think that there sometimes is too many people being accepted when they're not the right fit for BI, and then they um they go the full opposite and go, oh, B and I doesn't work. I can't believe why would I waste my time doing that? And that's because it's just them, really.
SPEAKER_05And here's the really crazy thing. We all know that BI, every business should be exposed to B and I, every B and every business should see BI, but the reality is not everyone's suited. We don't want everyone, it's actually an exclusive operation. We have exclude obviously exclusive categories, but also we want a particular type of person.
SPEAKER_00So we want people that are givers, and we want people that show up and aren't just 90 minute members, which a lot of people are, and then they expect and say, Well, this isn't working, why aren't I getting referrals two weeks in?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. So just just on that then. So give it the givers gain mindset, which you've been exposed to in your BI journey, has it had a positive influence on or what sort of influence has it had on your own business journey?
SPEAKER_00Um, well, mine's actually a little bit different because I moved to Queensland and I knew no one. I had no friends and family. I moved with my kids and um now ex-husband, and I had experienced BI in Sydney with my old boss. He's in he's a member there, and I never wanted to go to BI because I was going as his visitor and I was like, this is weird. Why are we getting up so early in the morning? And I thought it was odd. And then I came up here and I had no friends and family, but I also had no local people to refer to my clients. So I had I'm a conveyancer or a removalist or a tradeie or something like that. And I was kind of craving that. Um, so that's how I ended up in BI. And I just as I joined BI was when I quit my very well-paid job to start my own business. So it actually took me from I was contracting with someone, and then another mortgage broker actually turned around to me and said, um, stop hiding behind people. You're way too good for that. You should be having your own brand. And he was another member of BI, and he was like, You're way too good to hide behind someone else. So I started my business in BI. And I think 85% of my business probably comes from BI and the connections and relationships I've built.
SPEAKER_03Wow. So so on that, can you give us maybe a couple of examples where where that givers gain um philosophy that you've learned in BI has has has resulted in in business coming back your way?
SPEAKER_00Um, I think I'm I'm I'm a big believer in B and I as a whole, that it's not just referrals inside my chapter. Yes, I like to look after my chapter as well, but it's B and I has relationships, and there are 7,000, I think, members in Australia, um, which I can then use as my network. And I think I've really built up relationships with accountants, um litigation lawyers, so um lawyers in general, they've been quite good for my business. And everyone would assume real estate agents, but I think being showing up all the time, being visible and giving referrals with no expectations has really turned people's mindsets because they want to. Like they actually genuinely go out of their way to try and get me a referral because they want to give back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And in your chapter, is it a chapter that embraces the givers gain philosophy throughout the whole chapter? And and if so, how does that look compared to say a chapter that doesn't embrace it fully? Have you experienced it?
SPEAKER_00Yes, my chapter in particular, we feel like we're a little bit different from all of the other chapters. We're probably um a little bit loose and fun and like a good joke, even with the 20-point agenda, whereas others are quite rigid, and there's I think about eight chapters in the vicinity of our chapter, but ours is one of the biggest. And at the beginning, I was actually told that they didn't think our chapter would last. And it's been a massive turning point in our chapter that we've all decided that giving is so important, and we've been having closed chapter meetings and addressing issues and making sure that everyone in there is the right fit, and also that there is no one in there that is just a taker or um, for lack of a better word, two dollar networker. We're really trying to dollar networker.
SPEAKER_05I've never heard that before. That's cool.
SPEAKER_00Lies. Um, but it's we it's not um, I don't want just everyone in the room's business and vice versa. I want to give a referral that's going to keep growing. So there is a um a fairly new B and I member. She's not in my chapter. And I was actually talking with her yesterday, and I tagged her in a local Facebook page just for her business. And um, she got that job, completed that job, but then that person loved her so much that they referred her on to the person that did the main part of the works because she does caulking, which is a very niche business, and that person's now going to be recommending her to all of the clients. So that one connection for me has led to her getting more business. So I'm very much about not just, I don't want to just have your home loan, it's I want to help your connections and how can we help each other with those connections? So it's well beyond just the one transaction with me.
SPEAKER_05So you've sort of answered my next question, but I'll I'll ask it anyway. Um, why do you think, given given all of this and given the way that that that um givers gain works, why do you think that this approach often outperforms that traditional sales-focused networking? Why is it that it has such a bearing on these success stories like you're talking about?
SPEAKER_00Because if you make a difference in someone else's life and they genuinely appreciate it, they will do anything to try and help you back. It doesn't always work, but I think because that people are people, right? But if you're a genuine good person and you love to see other people shine and you never expect anything, people are like, oh my god, how am I gonna help them? I really need to, I want to return the favor and I want to see them shine shine as well.
SPEAKER_05So yeah, okay. All right. So let's change gears a little bit now. Um let's start talking practically, all right. So if we're talking about um givers gain and and law of reciprocity or reciprocity, reciprocity, reciprocity. You obviously didn't read that dictionary properly.
SPEAKER_00How's your big words going?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, thank you. Um perhaps there's listeners out there in podcast land, in B and I land, who are saying, This sounds really great, but what does it actually look like? Can you give us some really um hard-hitting practical tips on how to make this give's gain um concept really, really stick in terms of, you know, on a day-to-day level with business owners?
SPEAKER_00I think give us gain ultimately comes back to building relationships.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00It always links back to that because you can't give without the relationships and you also can't gain without those. So really in day-to-day life, I spend a lot of time talking. I see it in shop and all the time. And now look at me, my whole business is built on build on talking. How good. Um, but building those relationships and connections and being person that someone can come to for not necessarily monetary but support, I guess. Um I think that I had big expectations of myself to give a lot. Um, I always used to say at the beginning, I want to give three times more than what I get. Um which has failed me, which I'm happy about, can I say? Like it's great for my business, but that was always my goal. I was always driven by the giving. Um but in real day-to-day, I think um I meet so many interesting people and I build really interesting relationships and I love to see people shine. And it's not even um say uh their business in general, but I know that we've got a member in our chapter and she's an employee, she's very new, she is the at the bottom of the food chain in terms of how she can give out referrals. So instead of going, oh, she's not a good fit, because it's it's hard for her. I've kind of taken her under the wing and I'm like, all right, well, we're gonna work on how do we identify what those conversations might look like. How do we do this? So I'm really pushing and trying to turn her into the member because she wants to. That's the thing is she really wants to give. It's just learning how to do that.
SPEAKER_02Yep, yep.
SPEAKER_05It's it's you, Chris. Oh, it's me. Yeah, yeah. You say something now, Chris. I was gonna I was gonna say he's just lost in thought. He's just he's looking up to the body. It's just memorized mesmerized by me. I know, it's amazing. Your words are like are like honeydew to his ears. Well, not not that quite gospel, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03I think I think that they're good examples. I also quite often um you s you see a member who's um organizing an event or really um trying to do something with their business that you can think, well, you know, if I could if I get involved a little bit, maybe I can I can help that along. In fact, even with yourself, Jeremy, um Jeremy, with his um with his book business, um we we we have a great referral underway, and that was me talking to one of my clients over an extended period of time, which is give is going, Jeremy.
SPEAKER_05Um I'm not gonna respond. I don't want to look at me like that because there's so many things I could say right now, but no, that's you're absolutely right. In terms of a generalized uh example, absolutely, 100%.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for your own.
SPEAKER_00I think one thing that's I think one thing that's overseen in B and I is the amount of charities throughout the different chapters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that is the perfect opportunity to give. Because a lot of the time they can't give back. But if you're known as the person who's wanting to give to charities, it says something about your personality because it genuinely excites me to support those charities inside B and I. Um, and I think it's an easy way for people to give when they don't know how to give as well.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And just on on that, I just uh what you said, Holly, just reminded me of something. When I've seen here in Melbourne, I've seen chapters that go out of their way completely, like donating their breakfast fees, uh throwing money left, right, and center at charities. That says that they actually are embodying the givers-gain mentality. Give us gain. And they're giving without ever expecting anything back. And there's other chapters that go, well, why would you give any money to the, you know, like it's really, really fundamentally different. There, they're it makes a lot of sense. They've really embraced it. So yeah, it's a really good example, Holly.
SPEAKER_00I think charities are so important to me, um, and giving to people that don't have, especially animals as well. Like I have a friend who's just started a charity, and it's all about making sure there's no kill shelters and rescuing the animals, and that I love animals. They're like they they haven't asked for anything. So whenever I can give to those things, I genuinely feel happiness in myself, and I don't need anything back because that is my gain. My gain is the happiness that I've helped.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And tell me, givers gain is an interesting strategy. Do you think it's a short-term thing where you work on it each week, or is it really is it a long, is a long-term philosophy that you're trying to implement, do you think?
SPEAKER_00I think it's lifelong. I've always been a giver and it's just natural to me. Um, but it's definitely not. I think people might come into B and I and go, I gave that person a referral, but they haven't given me one back. That's not give us gain. Give us gain is not expecting the gain.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's not going into the give just for the gain. It's actually just going in just because you want to give and you want to help, or you see someone really struggling, or they're new to business, and you're like, well, how can I help you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. So what happens when members become discouraged because they don't see immediate results? Like we've I had a couple of examples recently where um their uh members' renewals coming up and you know they say, Well, I'm just not getting out of B and I what I put in. What what what would you say to people like that?
SPEAKER_00My first question would be how many one-to-ones are you having? And who are you having them with? Because a lot of those members are maybe only showing up to the meeting and not actually building the relationships outside of the meeting. And I say this all the time. That meeting every week is not the real part of BI. That meeting is for the members to give like to show them what they've given and for visitors to come and see what BI is. B I is all about the relationships outside of BI and meeting up with those people. And a lot of people say, well, I'm not really getting anything, or I'm not, or I'm struggling with something. It's because they're not putting enough time into the relationships.
SPEAKER_05Do you know? I'm listening to what uh to this conversation, and straight away I'm already going to give as gain is akin or aligned with successful leadership. It's actually, you know, if if you're leading from the front, then you're giving before you even receive and you're modelling the way to move forward. It's a really, really powerful thing, isn't it? So all leaders by good leaders, I mean there's some bad leaders, right? But good leaders are giving, uh I are are literally embodying this without even realizing.
SPEAKER_00Well, there's a very big difference between a a boss and an employer and then a leader.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think I try and lead in because I obviously being in the top 20 of Australia, I don't have any of the other top 20 of Australia in my chapter, because that's probably rare to have more than one in one chapter. Um, but I think my mindset around it all encourages other people in the room. And I often get all the new members sitting down with me and going, How? Like, how do you do this? Or what can you do? And I had when we had a closed meeting recently, I had one member sta stand up and he says, he said to the room, I really want to do better one-to-ones, but I'm gonna model them off how Holly did her one to one with me when I first started the chapter. And he goes, because I'd joined and I didn't understand B and I, and then I had a one-to-one with her. And moving forward, all of my one to ones are gonna be. Very much how Holly put it to me and explained members and how to help them or how to pick out a conversation and say, Oh, you need to talk to this person. So I love that my chapter and other members come to me and go, How did you do this? Or how can we do it better? Or it's not working for me and being I, what can I do differently?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And you know, that's why, Holly, you are in the top 20. It's not because of the traffic lights, although that's what we see. It's because of what you embody.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. People always ask me, how did you get into the top 20 of Australia? And I'm like, I literally don't know. Like I stumbled and tripped, and here we are. It's it it it it's natural for me to give referrals, and I'm luckily in a big industry and business that it does come naturally to me, right? So I always need a conveyancer or a solicitor, I need real estate agents, I need property managers, I need all of those things. So those referrals come easy, but it's also really putting time and effort into relationships and wanting to help those people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but that's amazing. Well, we're getting close to the end, but um what we do like to do is um give our dedicated listeners um some practical takeaways. So they've uh listened to this amazing discussion and and Jeremy's expansion on his big words. So Holly, if if every B and I member listening could adopt one givers gain habit this week, what would it be?
SPEAKER_00I think I would probably do the charities. I would probably find local charities in B and I local B and I chapters or wherever where you can give because they won't see that gain, but they'll get the gain of feeling good about themselves and that will push them to want to do it more. Because you want to give when you feel good about giving.
SPEAKER_03Nice.
SPEAKER_05I like that. Is habadashery a big word?
SPEAKER_03Well, yes.
SPEAKER_00I can't see you spelling it.
SPEAKER_05Habadashery. That's the art of sewing or something like that. We're not talking about meetings here, Holly.
SPEAKER_03The art of sewing, isn't that the the title of your next book?
SPEAKER_05No, that's the art of spinning plates. That's a different thing. Anyway, listen, um, let's uh let's recap here. So I I actually um like yourself, Holly, and I'm sure Chris does somewhere deep down inside agree that givers gain as the as the force first and foremost principle of B and I is the one that that I aligns with me the best, you know, and the most. And you said that all the way through this, Holly, and it's absolutely true. I think one of the key things that I love when I think about all of this conversation, I I I love doing this, um, all of these podcasts and and having people write chapters and things. But the thing that really got me today was that the members who get the most from B and I are the ones who least expect a return. They expect least from for themselves. And I think that's you know, it's it's selfless, it's unconditional, and it's reciprocity. I got it right this time. That was amazing.
SPEAKER_03Good job, but I'm very, very impressed. Well, um, thank you, Holly, for for uh entertaining us. Entertaining us and and laughing at Jeremy's joke or two. Listen, that's Chris, you are really struck.
SPEAKER_05Look, no, I've I've got the big words, guys. Don't worry about that. Mississippi is a big word too. Do you want to know what that means? No, keep going. Sorry.
SPEAKER_00So super califragilus and expiladocious.
SPEAKER_05It's not a word, Holly. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03All right, I'm ready for an afternoon nap now. All right, Holly. So thank you very much for joining us. I mean, Holly is amazing. She's been in the she's been in the top 20 um in Australia for a for a long time, actually. So it goes to um underline your give as gain philosophy that you live live it, I would I would say.
SPEAKER_05So And it's always, even though we jest and you're a lot of laughs, it it is truly good to know that there's some really good quality people out there in B and I. They're all good quality people, but you're one of the you're one of the top ones.
SPEAKER_00So it's a privilege it's a privilege say the one thing that the top 20 of Australia often has as the the members that are there, they all very much have a give us gain mindset.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And they're all I think they're all a bit quiet about how they do it. Humble.
SPEAKER_05Or they don't, yeah. That's not a big word, but humble is the word.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah, that's true. Humble um and they never expect the gain. It's always just giving because they genuinely love giving.
SPEAKER_03Fantastic. What a way to wrap it up. Well done, Holly. You should you should be on podcasts more often, I would say. All right, so thank you, listeners, for uh wading through another episode of our JSON.
SPEAKER_05Come on, it was great. This is gonna be the best. Best ever.
SPEAKER_03Too many big words. Now, if you have not got the book, you should get the book.
SPEAKER_05BNI20secrets.com.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, Jeremy.
SPEAKER_05B nice BNI20secrets.com.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, Jeremy.
SPEAKER_05And if the link works this time, it'll be fine. So, Chris, that's your one job this week. So that's your homework.
SPEAKER_03Supposedly it does. But also we have a social media. We aren't we, we're on Facebook, so we're we're posting we're posting our bits and businesses. And we actually posted up uh yesterday that we've um hit a thousand downloads now. So yeah, we we sort of started that the podcast with that.
SPEAKER_00Did you do your how did you guys achieve a thousand downloads between the two of you?
SPEAKER_05It took me about a week to listen to all the episodes about ten times. I've got nine children. That's all I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, that's right. He's very good.
SPEAKER_03I listened to it ten times each. That's not he's been he's been busy elsewhere, he had to get his kids involved. But um, so so thank you everyone. Um look forward to uh talking to you next time. Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_05All the best.
SPEAKER_03See you guys. Bye bye.