What is reality?

In my first Episode I speak about my memories of existing before this life. I go into details of my memory of a past life as a man, memories with God and my spirit family and what they told me about the planet earth and my mission. I also discuss my alien abduction by the two Grey aliens and speaking to the Draconian.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

In order for my listeners to fully understand my message, you will first need to know about my story. I have had the most unbelievable life experiences here on this earth, and I am finally ready to talk about it publicly. This is my true testament to what I remember before this life, what I was told by my spirit family before I came here, my alien abduction by the two grays, and seeing a draconian when I was six years old. I will tell you about my mystical prophetic dreams throughout my life and about the most mystical dream of all that I had last March in 2025. The dream that opened my third eye and my awareness to our understanding of reality. Since I had this dream last March, the center of my forehead pulses. Since this dream, I have seen the spiral and geometric patterns in my vision with my eyes open and closed. I believe the spiral I see is that which our ancient ancestors saw and carved into the walls of mountainsides and caves, all those many hundreds of years ago. I believe there is much more to our reality than we know. And I believe I am tapped into just the tip of an iceberg of awareness that our minds can attain. I am ready to talk about it, and if you are ready to listen, I will move forward and go into the details of each of these experiences and share them unedited, uncensored, and unfiltered. I will tell you how it has affected me and my life. My beginning started before I was born. My first memory was of existing as a man. I sat in a wooden chair badly beaten up with my hands tied behind my back. I was a prisoner. I don't remember what it was that I had done to get me into this situation, but I was deeply troubled. There was a man in a military uniform approaching me. He was holding a gun. He wore a camel-colored military uniform. He stood directly in front of me, just about seven to ten feet away, and he raised his gun, pointing it at me. And then he said something to me right before he fired his gun. I don't remember what it was he said to me. After I died, I remember at some point I was looking into a dark tunnel with dots of light inside of it. I don't remember exactly how it worked, but it has to do with comparing lives. Like each dot of light I felt was a different life. And you can compare your past life experiences to see how far your spirit has come along. You look at one life and then another. And that other one is a different perspective of the one you just reviewed, and you're comparing it to try to fully understand yourself. I had felt saddened and ashamed of the things that I had done in that life. I don't remember much, but I do know I misjudged people, and I had a bad temper. It was there that I had the awareness that I had the choice to make positive impacts in this beautiful world and with beautiful people. And after I realized that there were so many possible ways that I could contribute to harmony, peace, and balance with just the smallest of gestures, and yet I didn't. So I felt ashamed of my actions and their effect on the world. And I needed to go to a resting place to recover from all of this because it was a heavy weight that I was carrying. And I remember, you know, feeling feeling very embarrassed about it. The next thing that I remember, and just before I continue, I just want to say that although I'm gonna say the next thing, you'll heal me, you'll hear me say that a few times. Um there's no real way of me knowing if that's the next thing. Um, there's like no way for me to have like a linear order to what I'm telling you. I'm just doing my best to deliver it in an order that I remember it as, but I don't know for sure if that's the order. So the next thing I remember um was that I was working on a world. It was imbalanced. There was a lot of things wrong with the world that I was working on. And I don't know if this was our planet or another world, or I don't remember, but I just know that I was trying to create balance in this world that I was working on, and when I thought I was done um working on it, I waited for Hashem to come and you know review what I had done. And when he came, we went together and we carefully uh like lifted this veil and we looked into the world together. And once he was done looking, he concluded that it's not balanced, and you know, I knew he was right. I, you know, I knew. Um, but I remember that. And then the next thing I remember was being in like that same resting place that I was in before. Um, and I was just peacefully be being, I was up like a peaceful being. I was resting and you know, I wasn't around people, I was just there in a peaceful state of of mind, I guess. Um and my spirit family came to me and they made me aware of problems on earth. There was like this great danger for humanity, and they told me it would be a good opportunity for my soul to go there and and and you know, try to help. Um, we're all sent here to, you know, it's my understanding that we're all sent here to try and contribute our good energy uh to create harmony and balance like God had created for us. So, you know, I sense from them that, you know, something bad is going to happen if we don't change things. They told me about a negative energy that's watching us and manipulating us, they're violating some cosmic laws or agreements that exist, and they're invading human beings' rights and their privacy. They're they're they're corrupt and they're unjust, and there's a chance for disastrous consequences for the actions that they are creating. They told me I was going to be taken by these negative energies who are violating these laws, and this would happen so that I can tell my story to people. And I remember feeling like, oh my god, uh, nervous. Uh, how am I gonna do that? How how will I tell people this? And they said that it's time, like it's time to tell them. Um, they told me that by the time I tell my story, people will already know about aliens, um, that, you know, humans will will know about these things. So I felt nervous at that time um and apprehensive. Like, do I want to do this? I'm scared. Um, you know, but I knew that I knew that it would be good for us. Like, you know, I knew it would be the best thing to do. So I agreed. I wanted to help, you know, I wanted to help. And when it and when I started thinking about, you know, humans suffering, God's children suffering, like, you know, I got stronger in my thought process, you know, my conviction to come and do this. Um, I had to try to help. Um, so the next thing I remember was like I was getting ready to come to this earth. And uh, we were in the clouds. I was walking with somebody. There was somebody there with me. Maybe it was a spirit family member, maybe it was God, I'm not sure. But I I remember, you know, saying to them, you know, I'll be right back. And um thinking to myself, you know, although I know it'll be like, you know, the blink of an eye, it's it's not gonna feel that way when you're in the shit, when you're in it, you know, it's gonna feel long and it's gonna be hard, and I knew that. Um so I was walking towards the tunnels, the the tunnel in the clouds, and the tunnel is in the the ground of the clouds. Like you're you're you're gonna out I went to go step into it. It was beneath me, the tunnel. Like it was in the clouds, the bottom, the floor of the clouds. Okay, so at this tunnel, I'm walking. Um, and I was actually standing right up to the side first because there was other spirits going into the tunnel. And um when it was my turn, um, I I was so wait, I wanted to just tell you real quick about the tunnel. So the tunnel around the tunnel standing are these uh spirit beings, they're wearing these long uh like a robe with a hood on, and their heads are bowing down, you know, um, like their chin to their chest, kind of bowing their heads down, and they're like chanting blessings as the spirits are going into this tunnel. They are chanting and blessing each spirit um as they start descending down into earth. And when it was my turn to go, I remember looking at one of the spirits as he's blessing me, and I remember looking at one of them and like feeling like I wasn't like I'm not supposed to do that because I remember, and it's weird because it was so crazy. Uh, I when I looked at the spirit, like I I saw there were other spirits that were coming down too. So it wasn't just me, there were many other spirits who were coming through this tunnel going down to earth. So I mix, I like by looking at that spirit that was blessing me, I was able to like extract from him knowledge about the other spirits who are also coming down. Um, you know, so I knew that it was something I wasn't supposed to do because there is like a plan that you organize before you come here. And when you're looking at those spirits, you can alter the order of the plans by you know extracting knowledge from them. Um, so as my spirit was descending down to earth, I felt, and and by the way, I think that's maybe why I remember with the things I remember. I I'm I don't know that, but I'm just like, hmm, maybe that's why. Um, so um, so as my spirit was was coming down, uh I was thinking about a few things. There were like certain things that I was thinking about. Um, first, I felt really happy and excited to be coming here. Like, you know, the blue skies and and the immense sense of love and happiness I felt in me, you know, feeling the earth and knowing I'm gonna get to be here and touch things and have these experiences. I was very, very excited and looking forward. And um, another thing that I was thinking about was that there's so much abundance and harmony and peace and goodness in the world that God created for us to enjoy here. And I was like, just look at all of this bounty and harmony and beauty everywhere. Um, there's balance and interconnectedness between all of God's creations and nature on earth, the oceans and the animals in the ocean. There's just all of this balance everywhere with everything that he created. And I looked at it with such awe, and it was so glorious and poetic and artistic. It was just beautiful, and I felt that deeply within me. Um, I felt so full of love thinking about this, but then I started to think about, you know, us and how how could humans have been so deceived into this mental slavery for so many generations, you know, in a world with so much abundance and harmony and balance, you know, I was thinking to myself, how come people are not utilizing the examples that God created of peace, balance, harmony into their societies, into their daily lives, into their beliefs, and into their foundations of the systems that they need in order to function? Why are human beings not utilizing all of this knowledge to better their lives and work together in harmony? Why do they really think that this is the best they can do? Do they really believe that this is the way God intended for them to live in this mental slavery? So that was something that I was thinking about. Another thing that I was thinking about was the oceans. I was like, we should be studying our oceans because there's much knowledge to uncover in the oceans around the world. And then I was thinking about the negative energy and how I knew that that negative this negative energy wants to create end-of-the-world scenarios to scare people into submission. And, you know, the reason why they want to do that is because they want to learn and understand creation themselves. They want to be creators, but they're not. And that is the fuel as to why they're creating all of this disharmony on our planet, is because they can't figure it out. And I have news for them they never will, because God is the only one who will decide when is the time of judgment, when when things are gonna happen, is only by the will of God and and not no one else. They will never understand creation. I was thinking this also. Um, so those were my memories before I came to this earth. Now, once I was born and I had awareness that my spirit was in a body, my seven-pound six-ounce body, I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and panicky. Like I felt like I was having a panic attack, like and a hot flash all at once. Um, I felt like my spirit could not fit into my body, it was just too small, and I felt tight and uncomfortable, and I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to do this. I can't deal with this for the rest of my life here. I have to, and I want to go back. I want to go back. I don't want to be here. I changed my mind. I want to go back, and I tried to like I mentally tried to go back to where I'd come from, and I could not. And that is the first time that I remember my spirit family being with me, and they were there soothing me and making me feel comfortable, helping me to adjust to going from the spirit realm into this confined, dense, heavy energy of this earth. I remember feeling like I was claustrophobic. And they came and helped me to adjust to this life. And they were with me for the first few years of my life. I want to say, like maybe until I was four, they were with me. And I remember little bits of them being with me in different times, watching me, guiding me, giving me ideas that would encourage more learning and more, you know, desire to understand more. And I wish I could remember the things that they told me because I remember them telling me things, but I just don't remember because I remember thinking, you know, I want to be able to do things. I'm still, you know, an infant. I can't walk, I can't do things, I can't talk. And, you know, they explain, I remember them explaining to me, it will come, it will come to you. You will, as you grow, you will be able to do these things. Um, but I I wanted, I knew that they loved me. That's something I wanted to make sure I mentioned. I knew that they loved me and cared about me. And I know that we human beings are loved and cared for and looked after and and protected. Like I know that innately, I know that that's true. Um, so I did want to mention that. Um, so the next thing that I remember was I was one day um, I was a toddler. I was maybe two or three years old. And I remember being at the beach. My mom was um looking into a basket with the food in it to give me something to eat, and I was facing the ocean. And I think we were we must have been at like I don't know either Jones Beach or or Rockaway Beach. Anyways, I remember facing the ocean. I was looking at the ocean while my mom was facing me, um, grabbing for something to eat. And all of a sudden, I see this sleek black small spacecraft peeking out of the water, just like the top of it. Not the whole craft is out of the water, just you know, the top part of it. And it was like, oh, that's my spirit family. They're watching me, they're looking, they're looking after me, they love me. And I remember pointing, like saying, ship, ship. But my mother, when she turned around, you know, it was already gone. They were, it went back in under the water. Um, and she's like, No, there's no ship there. Obviously, I didn't have you know the verbiage to tell her, well, it was there and it just went back in the water. But I remember feeling like, oh, they're coming to check on me. And I felt like, you know, they loved me and they were sending me love. You know, that's the feeling I had at the time when I saw it. And again, it just came out for like, I don't know, three seconds and it went back down. But I remember it very clearly. So just a real quick summary of my life a little bit. I just want to give you some background information. So I am I was born in the Bronx. I am the youngest of four kids. I have three older siblings, two sisters and one brother, and they're like much older than me, 17 years older, 16 years older, and 11 years older than me. Um, the three of them. So uh when I came along, I was like a left field kind of child. I was an oops child, um, not something that they had planned. So growing up, I felt kind of like an only child because they were so much older than me. I looked at them mostly like they were like my other parents. My parents owned a bagel shop and they were working all the time. So after school, I would be with my siblings and things like that. So, um, so yeah, I grew up in Howard Beach the first few years of my life. Um, I lived in a lot of different places throughout my life, and I'll be sure to, you know, make mention of that throughout my recording. Um, but my parents are originally from Morocco. Um, I have many generations of family from Morocco. Um shortly after the um independence of Israel, um, they moved there. I think it was in the late 50s, maybe early 60s. Um, and my siblings were all born in Israel. I'm the only one who was born here in in the US. Um, so so that's just a little background knowledge about about me. Um so when I was a little girl living in Howard Beach, it was like I had been told that we were gonna move uh from Howard Beach to Long Island. And it was like over the summer, it was like the very beginning of the summer, and I was still at home in Howard Beach, and one of the kids from the neighborhood, this little boy down the block, came knocking at my door to ask if I can come out to play with him. And my father answered the door and he sent him away. And I was upset. I was like, why'd you do that? And I don't remember what all was said. I only remember the traumatic part, which is that my father was pissed, and I don't remember why, but he was angry and he grabbed my hair and a pair of scissors, he bunched up all of my hair into his hand, and then he cut my hair. He went right across the back of my neck, opening and closing the scissors until all of my freaking hair was cut off. My mom and at least one of my sisters was there too, and they were yelling at him. I remember that, but the damage had already been done. I was completely and totally traumatized by what my father did to me. You couldn't console me. I felt betrayed and violated and helpless and ultimately fucking traumatized by that experience. And not too long after that happened, we moved to the big house in Long Island. And I was six going on seven. My birthday's in the summer, so I was going from the second grade to the third grade. Um, we had just moved into the house not too long uh after I was abducted by the two gray aliens, and I remember before being born, being told that they were gonna come for me. So it was as if my higher self, when they came to me, my higher self knew. So the they came to me when I was sleeping and they whispered in my ear and they said, We're here to help you on your journey. Do you agree to come with us? And I said, Yes. Even though I knew that they weren't the good guys for sure, um, I was certain that we are not, um, they were not good, and I knew that I I had to go with them. Um, so they took me, and the next thing I remember was me laying on a table. Um, they were there around me, staring down at me, talking, communicating with one another. There was this one um alien standing right behind my head, and he was the one like calling the shots, making the decisions, telling people what to do. And um he was directing this long needle towards me to go into my eye. And when he did that, I started pulsing. I was pulsing to protect myself from them, obtaining whatever knowledge or information they wanted to get from me through through my eye. So I was pulsing to block them so that they would not be able to do it. And the pulsing was like pure light, pure love. I was just pulsing pure light, pure love out of myself, and they could not understand what was going on, and I heard the alien standing behind me say, you know, he say to someone else, like, how is she doing that? So that's all I really remember of that part. Like, I don't remember what else they did to me. Um, but um, the next thing I do remember, um, and mind you, I was terrified. I was completely terrified, but I was also sedated and I couldn't move. Um, so they to they the these aliens took me to a room where there was a baby alien and it was a female, and they had me sit on a chair, and the baby alien sat next to me and they took a photo of us. I don't remember a photo be like a camera being held by any of the aliens. I just knew that they were taking a photo of us. I don't know how, but I just did. Um, and they were very proud and you know, very happy with their creation. Like I remember feeling, I remember thinking to myself, like I was not impressed. And I remember thinking in my mind, she looks nothing like me. Um and the alien that was with me that had brought me into the room heard my thought, and he quickly took me out of the room as if let's get her out of here. I don't want this negative energy around the baby alien. And then I was back at home in my bed. Um, and the next thing I remember, um, I hear the two gray aliens talking, and one of them says to another voice, not the other gray, um, you can't hurt her, you're not allowed to hurt her. And the voice said back to them, I I want to see her, I want to see her, and I sensed him from him this new voice, that it was as if I knew him and like we were enemies, and I had fought him before, like we knew about each other, and his energy felt like abusive and controlling and very negative. And I looked towards where the voice was coming from, and that's when I saw this huge, tall, reptile-looking man standing at the foot of my bed staring at me. And he asks me, Why did you come here? What are you doing here? And I told him flat out, I came here to destroy you, but it wasn't my six-year-old self that was fucking terrified speaking at this point. No, it was my it was my higher self. It was my spirit speaking out to this being and telling him flat out without an ounce of fear. I told him, I came here to destroy you. And he said, How are you gonna do that? And I told him, I'm gonna tell everybody to stop. Those were my words, and he became enraged. Suddenly his eyes became fire fucking red, and suddenly I became absolutely terrified. I was no longer like, you know, my higher self. I was now, again, the six, six-year-old. And I felt like a shot of lightning of fear go through my body. You know, when you get really, really scared and you're like you just like feel like lightning come, like if somebody comes from behind you that you weren't expecting and they scare you, you feel that lightning go through your body. That's how I felt. And I saw that being take like a deep breath as if he was breathing in my fucking fear. And he inhaled it and and he was looking up like, ah, like, and then the next thing I know, this thing, this being shot up through the ceiling and out of the room. And I jumped out of my bed and I ran towards the window that faces the driveway, which is in the front of my house. And I saw him standing at the bottom of the driveway looking up at me from the window. And he was wearing a varsity jacket. And the next thing I know, this being shot up into the sky and he disappeared. I was not the terrified little girl that it was not the terrified little girl that jumped out of bed to see where this reptile being went. It was again my higher self that was extremely brave and fearless that went to that window. But as soon as he was gone, the six-year-old me was terrified, and I was too afraid to do anything. I ran into my bed and I covered myself. And at that time, I knew what was causing all of the havoc that I was told about before I came here was this being. Like I knew that this was like the negative force that's creating all of the problems that we have and the disharmony between one another and our planet. That is what I understood, and I knew as a child, but I was completely terrified. I was so scared. I was so scared to do anything. I was afraid to go out of my room and go anywhere. I didn't want to move, I was just mortified. So I went under my blankets and I I think I fell asleep. But the next morning, I remember that when I woke up, I was totally paralyzed and I could not move. I wanted to run downstairs and right away tell my mom about what happened to me and explain to her what I had experienced, what happened, but I couldn't move. I was totally paralyzed. I could not open my eyes, I could not move my body, I was frozen, but awake and aware that I was awake and unable to open my eyes and unable to move. It was the most fucked up, craziest feeling in the world. And I remember that I became aware that these two grays were still in the room with me. It's as if I could somehow see them, even though my eyes were closed. And their backs were facing me, they were facing the wall, and it's as if they were working on something, like a computer or screen or something. They were they were doing something, like they were sitting there doing something. But I didn't see their faces, only their backs were turned to me. And through telepathy, I spoke to them and I made them aware that I couldn't move. And one of them said to the other, Don't worry, it doesn't matter. She's not gonna remember anyway. And the other one turned and looked at me and said to him, Yes, she's going to remember. Yes, she will. When I talk about it, it's like I was so scared, you guys. And I didn't understand like what was happening to me. Like, there's no words to describe the fear, the disorientation of reality. Like, this is not fitting and making sense. You know, I just I don't understand what is happening to me. Even though I remembered about how I existed and I was told about this, I was still so scared. And there was a kind of disconnection from the self that knew that these things were foretold to me, and the six-year-old me. So as soon as I was released from this paralyzed state, I went running to my mother to tell her what had happened to me, the best way a six-year-old could. I told her there were monsters in my room, and and they took me and they did these things to me, and I couldn't move when I woke up. And I told her all of these things the best that I could. Uh, I threw tears. I was in absolute fucking fright. And she didn't seem concerned. She looked at me calmly and she basically said to me, it was just a dream, it's nothing, there's no such thing as monsters, there's nothing to be afraid of. It was just a dream. Now I knew that what I had experienced happened to me, and I remembered existing before I came here, you know. I was sure that what I had experienced happened, but it did not fit into this reality. And in order for me to operate in this world, I needed to put all of that into a box in my mind and never open the box out of fear and out of the inability to comprehend what I had experienced. You know, I needed to believe my mom so that I can function in this world. So that's what I tried to do. And for years after this happened to me, I couldn't sleep at night. I would beg my older sister to let me sleep with her in her room. I was terrified to go to my room at night. I was afraid they were gonna come back. I was afraid they were gonna harm me. I I didn't know what was going on. I I just know I couldn't fall asleep. There was just terror. I wound up convincing my parents actually to let me have a television in my room. And back in the day in the early 80s, kids didn't have TVs in their rooms. Um, so, anyways, I would stay up until two and three in the morning regularly as a third and fourth grader, you know. Um, and I had no one to talk to about it, which made everything so much harder because you know, it was just a dream, right? So who so what am I just what am I making a big deal about? It was just a dream, but I knew it wasn't. So it was really hard to adjust to everything and make sense of everything. Shortly after this happened to me, I had to go take placement tests, you know, for the new school that I was going to start in the fall. And I remember being so distraught by what had happened to me, and by having this reality that doesn't make sense, I went and took this placement test. I just could not think. And I didn't want to think. I I just wanted to be left alone. And the the these teachers came and they gave me the Scantron and this booklet and a number two pencil, and I sat there completely overwhelmed, and I just guessed all of my answers. A, B, D, C, A, C, D, A, just guessing everything. I didn't read the questions, and I didn't care either. I just wanted to not be there. And after I took those tasks, I was found to have a severe learning disability. I was put into special ed classes at my new school. And just a moment to talk about special ed back in the day. Special ed was different then. We were segregated from the rest of the kids in my grade. Our classroom was on the other side of the building, away from all the regular kids. And I remember my new teacher and her aide having to stop class instructions throughout the day because, you know, a kid had shit on themselves in class. Or a kid would suddenly burst out with curse words and and all the other kids would start laughing and being distracted. One day I remember a kid in my classroom, um, you know, he was mentally retarded and would suddenly, you know, bellow out loud moans out of nowhere, and you know, while the teacher was teaching us. And, you know, these were all like distractions that would, you know, take 15, 20 minutes to settle down the whole class. Um, so it was, it was just, you know, it was a shit show. And these kids had serious mental disabilities, physical disabilities, and needed constant supervision. And being in that kind of environment further traumatized me, you know, because now I'm made to feel like I'm one of them too. So I had just turned seven over the summer. I had this traumatic haircut on my dad, then a few months later, this alien abduction, and now I have this new traumatic displacement from my mainstream classes, my normal kids, and I was put in with these special ed kids in this entirely new school. I knew I was not mentally or physically disabled, but I was something else that at the time I didn't know the words to describe. And that is traumatized. I was badly traumatized, and I had no one to help me talk through it, get through it, make sense of it. So, you know, it was just another layer of shit. Now, on another note, I quickly realized that I didn't need to put much effort into my schoolwork, which was nice. You know, it was easy. They didn't expect much from me. And everything was super easy and laid back, you know, minus the crazy going goings on with the kids in the class. I didn't have anything, you know, to, you know, I didn't have any hard times with my schoolwork. So I wound up becoming, you know, the teacher's helper, which made me feel useful and actually made me feel good. It took my mind off of my fears because I was able to help my teacher and I would get to run errands and go to the other classrooms and deliver paperwork to the attendance office and things like that. Eventually, I was doing too well in my classes, um, in my classwork, to be in all special ed classes. So they wound up putting me in mainstream classes for most of the class, the class, um, the education. Um, um, but I had one or two special ed classes. Um And I was excited to finally be with the normal kids, but I was not excited for very long because these kids were worse than the kids in the special ed classes. They were mean to me. Right off the bat, they tormented me daily about my boy haircut. They made fun of my name. They would make fun of anything I did or said, any questions I'd asked. The teacher were somehow the butt of any jokes. Everything I did was funny and not in a good way. They weren't laughing with me. They were laughing at me. And I was the butt of all jokes and the reason to disrupt the class. And the teachers did nothing to help me, nor did my family. I mean, really, how does a little girl handle all of this? How does a kid make sense of this world and process it all as a child? You know? And the answer is they don't. It's just overwhelming and confusing. And everything is all mixed up in your mind. Your memories, and there's no one to talk to, and it makes sense of what you're experiencing. So here I am with all these things going on in my life. And it's just the beginning. There's more to come.