Under Heaven Podcast: Lynn Levine - Survival, Loss, and Hope

Under Heaven Podcast host, Trish, talks with Lynn Levine as shares her incredible journey from joyful newlywed to a life-threatening medical emergency just two days after her wedding. What began as a honeymoon quickly became a fight for her life when she suffered a brain blood clot caused by birth control pills. Lynn courageously shares how the condition was diagnosed, the extensive treatments she endured, and her decision to have a hysterectomy after later complications.

She also reflects with deep gratitude on her late husband, whose quick decision to get her to the hospital when she could no longer speak or respond helped save her life.

The conversation takes another emotional turn as Lynn opens her heart about her late husband Drew, his battle with alcoholism, and what it was like to love someone through addiction. After losing him, she faced the difficult journey of widowhood and shares how laughter, faith, and hope became part of her healing.

We also meet Lynn's lovable dog, Boogie, who brings a lighthearted beginning to this powerful episode.

This episode is a reminder to pay attention to your health, seek medical care when something doesn't feel right, and never lose hope... even in life's darkest seasons.

Join us for this inspiring conversation filled with honesty, resilience, and encouragement.

Lynn: lynnlevine@gmail.com

Trish: patricia@lookingup24.org
           https://form.lookingup24.org/trish-hodges

Brain Blood Clot Survivor, Women's Health, Birth Control Risks, Stroke Awareness, Medical Miracle, Widow's Journey, Grief Recovery, Alcoholism, Loving Someone with Addiction, Hope After Loss, Resilience, Encouragement

Under Heaven Podcast, Faith, Trish Hodges, Testimony, Christian Women, Encouragement, Testimony

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to Under Heaven, the podcast where we glorify God and celebrate the beautiful stories of women whose lives have been transformed by his goodness and grace. I'm your host Trish, and each week we share real conversations about faith, hope, and purpose. This is a place for encouragement and truth, where every story matters and every listener is welcome. No matter where you are on your journey, let's grow together under heaven. Well, welcome to Under Heaven Podcast. I'm your host, Trish, and I am so glad that you've joined us today. One of the things I enjoy most about these podcasts is hearing the stories from ordinary people who've walked through some extraordinary circumstances. And you know, life has its chapters. It has the good, the funny ones, the heartbreaking ones, all of that. And today's guest certainly has her story. Lynn Levine is creator of Lynn Logic, and she has a multimedia platform where she shares her life with honesty, humor, and authenticity. Lynn describes herself as someone who leads with lived experience, resilience, and real talk. And I have to say, I have talked with Lynn and I love talking with you. You are so awesome. So we are going to go forward today and just say, welcome, Lynn Levine.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

I I have learned so much about you in just a couple um conversations. And I love to talk with different people from different places around the world and different experiences. And that's one thing that Under Haven Podcast is about. It's to show women who have gone through things, but hey, come out of them or are continuing to come out of them as some of us are still learning and growing.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yes, yes, very, very true.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Lynn, before we get started, I would love. Oh, your little friend there is sleeping so well. I hate to disturb him. Oh no, no, it's fine.

unknown 2:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Tell us about your four-footed friend.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Okay. So he's not sleeping. He's pretending to sleep. Okay. So this is Boogie. And he doesn't really like to be on camera. He's very camera shy, which is an odd thing. So um, Boogie is um number one thing. Boogie is deaf. So I rescued Boogie when he was about three years old, um, actually two months prior to my husband passing. And Boogie's birth date is my late husband and I's five-year wedding anniversary. He was born on 1121, 2015. I'm sorry, 1121, 2020. My late husband and I were married on 1121, 2015.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So, you know, there's some symbolism, obviously, there. I mean, I got there at the time. And it was funny because um uh his previous owner, um, he was on his way being surrendered, and I had been wanting a dog. Um, I'd kind of put it out in the universe. I'm like, I want a dog. And um my a friend of mine uh got a call and was like, hey, I heard about this dog. He's on his way to being surrendered. Do you want him? And I was like, tell me a little bit. And she told me that he was a small dog, and I was like, good, perfect. And I was like, I'll take him. So I called my late husband and I said, Hi, I'm getting a dog. And he goes, Ha ha, sure you are. And I showed up at home with the dog because, you know, he knew it was possible. You know, he he's lucky he never got that I never brought home a duck. Um and he kept the entire night. He was sitting there snuggling with Boogie, going, he's so cute, and then he would flip me off. And then he would be like, Oh my god, but he's so cute, and then he would give me angry faces, and then he'd be like, I mean, completely just loved Boogie. And Boogie himself is a character. Number one thing Boogie's full name, because I do this to Al, all the animals that I own have compilate comp convoluted and complicated names. His full name is Boogie Woogie Wonderland of Company B. I love it. I love it. Full name. Full name. I had a cat named we called Fred, and Fred's full name was New Fred Zorro Furioso Funderburg.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

And they're, you know, and I and I make my animals weird. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that. I don't know if you do. Like, do you have if you've got weird pets, like if your pets seem a little quirky, they're just like you. You're quirky. And I get that. I accept that. You know, the other day he was growling at a smell.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Um well, he could well, but he can see though, right? So he could see and he could see it. Okay. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Um for a dog that's this short, because he's under 10 pounds. He's like 9.8. Under 10 pounds, and he has maybe four and a half inch long legs. I've never seen a dog trip so much. Oh. But here's the thing: I trip a lot. Like I fall up the stairs constantly. Like I bang into walls, you know. I'm gonna tell you right now, I I'm lucky I'm squishy because I would have so many more bruises if I was skinnier. I have no spatial awareness, and neither does Luki.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Wow, isn't that something? That is something. I'll have to pay more attention to my dog. Um, and and now that you mention it, I do think that my dog Sophie, she's 10 years old, she'll be 11 this month. Oh, she's probably already turned 11 at the beginning of the fourth, I think it's her birthday. And um she is she's one of those, she'll lay next to you, but she doesn't want to cuddle. She's not the cuddler. And I'm kind of like that too, you know. I'd like to be next to my husband, but you know, I don't need the I don't need the arm around my neck, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

I I don't cuddle with that many people, you know. I mean, even with my late husband, I mean, we were in separate bedrooms, but I cuddle with Boogie like he's a teddy bear. Oh and he is so comfortable. I mean, he's deaf, and so that extra security, having me that have him being that close to me, you know, he will pass out. I mean, he's he's completely passed out now.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Okay. So you have had so many experiences, I'm not sure where you would like to start. You you've had a blood clot that you got just days after you got married, and you you lost your spouse. You all kinds of things have happened. You where would you like to start with your story?

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Um, I mean, I'd like to start at where we are now and go with, you know, the past 13 years. You know, I'm 47 now, and you know, I've I have a new view and everything. But over the past 13 years, I've been tested. I've gone through absolute hell, to be honest with you. Um I did with the blood clot in my brain, I that happened two days after my wedding. Now it was caused by birth control pills. At 19, yeah, at 19, I was prescribed birth control pills because I had PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. And so rather than they wanted to make sure that they could get me to have a working baby maker. Um, and so birth control pills it was. Almost instantly I started getting chronic headaches, migraines, migraine attacks that were almost semi-stroke-like. I once had a headache for four years. Four years had a headache. Mm-hmm. And I kept going through, I was in pain for 17 years before my blood clot. That's that's the that's the behind the scenes story, is I was prescribed 27 different types of medications from antipsychotics to antidepressants to anti-seizure to shots, to nasals, to everything to try and get rid of my migraines. And so um the blood cut, the morning of I had been having headaches really bad about a month before the wedding. Like I and I just assumed it was normal stress. Yeah. I was like, surely I'm just yeah, surely I'm just stressed out. Um, it's my mother-in-law's fault, you know, which you know is always a possibility. Um but um two days after the wedding, I had woke up around 6 a.m. and um my head was killing me. Like, I mean, I've had headache pain before. I know pain in the brain, um, or not technically in the brain, since the brain doesn't feel pain, but that pressure on your skull. Um, I know that kind of pain. And I was just, you know, my head was hurting and I couldn't find my glasses. But I also couldn't remember the word for glasses. I only remembered the word sunglasses. And so Drew had woken up and he was like, What are you looking for? And I was like, My sunglasses. I can't find my sunglasses. And I just kept talking about my sunglasses. And he looks over and he's like, Let's go to the hospital. And I was like, that sounds like fun. Um on her honeymoon, right? Right. That's it. That was my honeymoon. Um, and so um, you know, at that time of the morning, it was like a, I think it was Monday or a Tuesday, probably a Tuesday, because I've never been able to handle Tuesdays. Um, we got admitted very quickly. And uh the doctor was asking me questions like, um, how long has this been going on? Um, you know, things of that nature. And I looked at him as he was asking me these questions and I looked over at Drew. I had lost every word in my brain. I couldn't respond. I could, I had full awareness of what was going on, but I could not respond. I still remember that feeling. I had no words, I couldn't find the words at all. That had happened during my migraine attacks countless times, losing losing words. My first migraine attack, I forgot the word cheesecake. Um, you know, um, so that was, but I had lost all the words. And then I blacked out, which is a good thing I did, because apparently I went ballistic after that. Um, like I was ripping the IDs out of my arm. Like, I'm I'm glad I don't remember any of this because you know, 14, 12 or 14 hours later, I woke up in a hospital bed. No idea what had gone on, nothing at all. And the doc the neurologist came in, you know, a few hours later, and she goes, You had a blood clot, and you have a blood clot in your brain, and it's caused by birth control pills. Without a doubt. There was no question at all. So here's what it was. It was um uh CVST, I think is the name of it, um, central vinuous something thrombosis. I can never remember if it's CSVT or CVST, because one looks like the word cis to me. So um I got off of birth control pills immediately. Yeah. Um I had asked about four months prior to this happening if I could stop taking the birth control pills because I was on so many meds for the PCOS and for all that stuff that I was just tired of it. I just I made the choice to get off the PCOS meds because my body was not taking them well. Um, it was a very common medicine called metformin. I was on it for like seven years, and I was you, it's a hard medicine to be on.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

And I never even got up to my dosage, like my actual prescripted amount, because it was too difficult for me. Um, and you know, so I went off of that medicine, and so I was really wanting to get off of the birth control pills and just kind of let my body do whatever it's going to do. Because all I've been told since 19 that my bot that my uterus and all my workings don't work properly, but I've never felt bad. I only felt bad when they treated me for it.

unknown 13:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Other than that, it was great. And so, you know, at 30, I had asked for um a hysterectomy. At 30, I did. I asked for a hysterectomy, and I was denied because my husband may want to have kids someday. Here's the thing I was single at the time. Single. A future person that doesn't even exist in my life had more power than I do. I thought it was funny. I was like, okay, let's see how this plays out. Well, a few years after my blood clot in my brain, I developed aneomyosis, which is when your uterine lining sheds and rebuilds at the same time. I was start I started clotting from my uterus. Five months. Ten clots a day for five months. And my OBGYN explained that the pain that I felt was the same as a miscarriage. And I had 10 a day for five months. Oh yes. They gave me three options when the adiomyosis started. They said, number one, you can do hormone therapy. Well, that's not an option for me. I can never take synthetic hormones again. That's what got me on the birth control pill. So that's not an option. Number two was the DNC. This was where they scrape you. And he said to me this exact sentence, he goes, the DNC would get rid of the bleeding, but not the pain. Who's gonna sign up for that? I was like, no. And then I don't even think he got the full word of hysterectomy out of his mouth when he said that that was option three. I was like, that one. That was right there. I was like, yes. I mean, the surgery sucked, the recovery was horrible. Um, but since it's been amazing. Like, you know, I finally feel comfortable in my own body after having, you know, so many years of synthetics and drugs, you know, given to me and and and me feeling like I had to take them, otherwise I was gonna get diabetes and possibly lose limbs and die. Like that's like I got feared into taking them. Yeah. So and yeah, so no, I don't, yeah. Wow. So and it was, it was two days after the wedding, and we spent our honeymoon in the hospital. I was in there. Um, I went to work about a week and a half afterwards, and I'm an accountant.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Okay, got them numbers going.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Lots and lots of numbers, and I had to close out the month, and I got stuck on things, and my brain doesn't didn't work well with math, and there was a lot of things I had to relearn. I had to relearn how to color. Like color in the lines of pictures, I couldn't do. I mean, the treatment was about six months long. Um, and I had a clean build up, clean MRI afterwards. And what saved me in the hospital is that when you are admitted, admitted to the hospital, the one thing that they'll start, they'll prescribe you first are blood thinners because it prevents bed sores. So they don't know how long, you know, because I was out, like went like unconscious. And so immediately they don't know how long I'm gonna be unconscious, so immediately prescribe blood thinners to prevent bed sores. As a as someone who was suffering from a blood clot, that was the exact thing that I needed. I needed my blood to thin out, and even the neurologist had told me the location of the blood clot was so small and minute that they were very lucky to have found it.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Okay, okay, and so I mean, I I used to say I still do say this though, um, my late husband saved my life 100%. Taking you to the hospital, make it going, I think we need to go to the hospital and forcing me to go, you know.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Oh, awesome.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

It is very important for um for people to know the signs to look for when something is happening, not to think, well, we'll wait and see what it's like tomorrow. It's like, no, let's get it taken care of now.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Right. So and and and with headaches, headaches are actually incredibly difficult, especially to diagnose the source of the headache. For instance, once you have a migraine, you're more likely to get more migraines. But if you've never had one, you're not gonna get them. It's it's almost like once you once your brain is introduced to a headache or to a migraine or to that pain, it's like, oh yeah, now we're gonna do that. It sees it as almost a normal thing almost instantly. And so my brain's reaction every time was to go to headache to shout out in pain, or for you know, lack of a better word. But um, people who don't have headaches, who've never had a headache, who've never had a migraine, can't understand. Lucky you.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Yeah. Yes. I I have had I've my my body has gone through seasons where I've had migraines ever since I was young. And I would get him, my father-in-law lived with us for 10 years. And um, I you know, so I would have these migraines, and he'd be like, you know, he couldn't understand, you know, oh, you got a headache. Yeah. But one day he had a headache, not a migraine, but a headache.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Not a migraine, just a simple headache.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

He's like, oh, now I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Right. So it's those pains that well, it's those pains that you can't see the wound. I have a lot of those types of scars in my body. You can't see a wound. I survived a blood clot. There's no look, there's no wound. You know, besides having the hysterectomy, um, I mean, I got two little incisions. There's no wound there. Uh four months ago, I had to have an emergency laparoscopic appendectomy. I had an appendicitis at 47.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Or 46. It was before my birthday.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Uh oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Yes. And so now, you know, I'm like, all right, what else are we taking out? Come on. All right, come on, and that pain, that pain was worse than my blood clot in my brain. That pain was definitely worse than the blood clot in my brain. I mean, I was I was cussing up a storm in the waiting room at the hospital. I felt so bad, so bad. Um, you know, I even apologized to the children. Unfortunately, in my apology, I had a cuss word in it, so it didn't really, you know, mean much. But yeah, I've never felt pain like that. And they at one point they were finally like, we're just gonna close the door of the room you're in. I was like, that's fair. Can you give me something for the pain?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Yes, yes. Oh my goodness. That is that's something. Well, what do you what can you tell the women that you have uh gotten out of this? How has it changed you having experienced such trauma to your body and everything? And yet you're here today and you can laugh about it and say, what next?

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Because that's just a Tuesday for me. I mean, with the amount of trauma that I've gone through, I mean, I'm a widow, you know. I'm a widow of a crossing alcoholic.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Oh my gosh, yes. And you weren't married for long, and he passed. No, he smoked.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

So Drew and I first met when we were 17. We worked at FUDRuckers together. I don't know if anyone remembers that. He used to have the most amazing cheese sauce. And then we what was odd is that both of us were raped. In the 90s. So, you know, we had literally been in the same place at the same time so many different times throughout our life. And then we met through a dating app when we were both 32 because we were the same age. We were two months, two days apart. I was older. I was older by two months, two days. I was the older woman. And we met at 32. And I mean, the first night we talked, it was six hours on the phone. The second night we talked, it was six hours on the phone. And then we went on our first date. And I mean, it lasted for so long. And we we laid in the bed of his truck just talking and staring at the stars. Like it was one of those dates. He had pretended to like sushi to impress me because I love sushi. Okay. Love sushi. And and so I didn't know it was he was he was pretending, but it was his first time eating it. And I ordered the biggest chunks of raw fish that you could have gotten, and that was what I wanted. I was like, we're not even going in soft here. There's not a bunch of rice or anything, it was just straight raw tuna. Oh, wow. With watermelon and little tacos, but still so good. Um, but we had a great first date. He kissed me at the beginning of our first date because I was nervous. You know, we hadn't met online dating and all that. You know, and you're like, uh, you're not gonna like me from real life. And he was like, you know what, I'll just kiss you at the beginning to get you some bit to calm your nerves. Um, and so we did. He literally kissed me at the beginning of the date, and then we went on about the the date. And I was like, you know what? I that that that that was my person, you know. We got along together. We had so many laughs. I mean, the amount of times that we would just laugh. I do talk about 13 years of hell because it wasn't all good, and I kept having to be reminded of his disease and his demons. So, yes, I can laugh one day, I can laugh one morning and then have to deal with his demons in the evening. But I just appreciated the good times when they came. I had decided with Drew that I was going to give him unconditional love. I had already decided that um when I did when we got married, I was his wife. I stood by my man, I stayed loyal to him, I was his wife, and it it was not fun. It wasn't, you know, I I like to say this a lot um just because it really explains it that I loved my husband, totally did. Didn't like him, but I loved him. I loved him, and I gave him that unconditional love. And so, you know, when he started trying to deal with his demons, we would talk about them. Um, you know, he had done so many recordings through the marriage because he was very, very aware of the fact that he was an alcoholic. There was no qual there was nothing, there was no denial. Denial had long since passed. He was very much, I'm an alcoholic. And um, you know, with that disease to die from it, you have to give up every day for a while. And he did. He gave up every day for a while. And I know Drew well enough to know, because he actually said this sentence to me, that he had said, um, I want to stay in your life until I think that me being out of it would be better for you. He made decisions for me all the time, obviously. I mean, I mean, being with with an addict is very much like being in a cult of one. But I will tell you, the one thing I never questioned about that man is whether or not he loved me. Not for one day. I just had a problem because he didn't love himself.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

That's so sad. And then we're gonna have we're gonna have to wrap this one up, but I want you to come back. Um, then what happened? How did he pass away? It was from the drinking, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 26:34

So about six months prior to him passing, he had gone to a doctor, and I re I clocked this, and I never even got what anything about that doctor visit or anything, because it wouldn't change anything. There was no point in dwelling in it. He found out information because right after that, he gave away one of one of the cats, the main coon, he gave it to his parents, and he started doing things like he closed his social media accounts and things like that. So he knew, and he even had a conversation with his father about how he wanted his funeral. And we didn't actually get all these kind of pieces lined up until after he passed, but I wrote a whole piece on his day of passing and everything that happened, and it's called the worst day ever. And and that's what it was. It was the worst day ever. To have it to be a widow is the preferred outcome of marriage. To be a widow or a widower, that's a successful marriage. Technically, I had a successful marriage and it sucked. That part of your soul, when it gets ripped out when that person's gone, because that's what it feels like. It feels like you are being ripped apart from so deep in your core that that's the only way to say is that it's ripping apart your soul. And I understand that pain. And I know those that are still having to deal with pain like that and go through that kind of grief, and I know that it sucks, and I know that time is the only thing that can heal it, but I promise it will get better, it will get easier, it does get a little better every day, and what I do is I laugh. I laugh at the moments, find joy within the middle of the day, and find those little moments where you can just laugh because then it just gets easier to laugh more frequently, and that little taste of happiness that you get from that laughter is gonna be healing to you. You need it. That's right. So I love to laugh.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Oh, I love and I love your laugh, and I love to laugh with you. So much fun. And um, I definitely we will continue. Uh, we'll go on and and do another podcast because but I thank you for saying that uh of helping the women out there who uh maybe at that point where they've lost somebody. I've been married, it'll be 46, 47 years this year. 47. The same age as me. I love it. It's kismet. I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_01 29:29

You know, I You got married in 1979.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

I did. We did, yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Oh, what's the date?

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Um, November. I know you're a half at November, right? Um November um 10th. November 10th.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Oh, I wanted mine to be 1111 so bad. Oh I chose 1121 because 11 is one is my favorite number, one of my favorite numbers, and 21 is made up of two primes of three and seven. So I did it mathematically because I'm weird. I love math.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

But 47 years this year.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Yes, and we have grown old together, and you know, kind of like your life, it hasn't been all peaches and cream, but it's where you make you make that decision, like you said, you chose to unconditionally love your husband, and it's that unconditional love and the give and the take, and you know, it it's beautiful, and I cannot imagine what it would be like when one of us passes on and the other is left behind. But it's weird. Yeah. I mean we may call you if we need you to.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Yes, please do, please do, because the amount like the amount, the there's not a whole bunch of support groups out there for for spouses after the marriage, whenever you have to go through the death. I looked for them. I could not I I mean, I specifically look for um those dealing with the death of an addict and couldn't find that. But there's not a lot of grief counseling stuff out there. And I would, I mean, I'd love to go and talk to those people and be like, you know, I get it. You know, I mean, I have I I have that that psychology degree in me.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

So oh yeah, okay. Well, we're we're really gonna have to wrap this up. And I wish that I could do longer recordings, but unfortunately, my podcast doesn't handle longer recordings. So I do want to thank you, Lynn, and we will be back. And those of you out there who want to hear more from Lynn, be sure to check in next week about that. But um, I do want to thank Lynn for being so open and sharing so real, because that's what this is all about. That's what that's what under heaven's all about is being honest and real and what it feels like. So um I thank you, and I want to thank our listeners. And if you have any questions that would like to uh talk with Lynn, you know, text her. How can they meet you? And I know you have programs, and that's what we're going to talk about next time, but how would they reach you, Lynn?

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Um, honestly, start with an email. My email is lynnlevine at gmail.com. Um, I don't really talk on the social media platforms except for a certain one, um, just because you know it can get overwhelming. So I would tell you, send me an email. If you want my attention specifically, send me an email.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

There you go. And that's lynlevine at gmail.com. So I will leave you today, my friends, with the remembering to speak life, choose hope, and know that you are always loved. Bye-bye. Thank you, Lynn. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Bye. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Thank you for being with us today on Under Heaven. I trust this conversation encouraged your heart and reminded you of God's faithfulness. If today's episode blessed you, please click like, subscribe, and share the hope with others. Until next time, blessings.