Makeup: From Masculine War Paint To Pure Feminine Power

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Before makeup was about beauty… it was about fear. In this episode of One Up the Annals, Victoria dives into the wild, hilarious, and surprisingly powerful history of makeup. From ancient warriors painting their faces to intimidate enemies… to modern day transformation, confidence, and femininity.

With stories involving crocodile dung, toxic beauty trends, and the “lipstick effect,” this episode reveals how makeup evolved from survival… into identity.

And why, even today…it still feels like war paint.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Have you ever had a guy look at you when you're wearing 12 products, three brushes, and a prayer, and say, I love that you don't wear much makeup.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

You're so natural.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

It's adorable. Really? They have no idea that sometimes the perfect natural is actually a three to five business day professional commitment. But seriously, we can't blame them. For thousands of years, men were right there in the trenches with us, wearing the eyeliner, the powder, the wigs, thinking they were the original trend centers. Until they just stopped. Then they forgot the secret language of the brush. Today, we're reminding them because before makeup was about beauty, it was about being scary.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

It's funny, isn't it? We spent 10,000 years painting our faces to look like demons, so the guy across the valley wouldn't take our ghost. And now if a man was to put on a little concealer for a zoom call, someone's asking for his man card back. We really fell off the war paint wagon, didn't we?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

You didn't fall off. You just retired. We took the equipment and actually figured out how to use it. Thousands of years ago, warriors painted their faces before battle. Not to look pretty, to look terrifying. The ancient Celts painted themselves blue. Native warriors used bold lines and colors. Japanese warriors used stark, dramatic markings, with the goal to intimidate enemies. Others painted themselves to ward off evil spirits, usually accompanied with dressing up and dancing. Early rituals, though, used brighter pigments to call for tribal protection, to bring rain, mark ceremonies, signal transformation. Because when early humans painted their faces, they weren't just decorating. They were becoming something else. Stronger, braver, sometimes supernatural. But that had a price. Because early makeup wasn't exactly dermatologist-tested. If you wanted to look like a goddess of the ancient world, you had to be comfortable with crocodile dung. Yeah, I said it. Crocodile dung. Ugh, the things we women do.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I'll stick to my three-in-one shampoo that smells like Arctic tundra, thanks.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Women have been surviving the ingredients since the Bronze Age. Ancient Greeks and Romans used it on face masks for that healthy glow. Nothing says glow like swamp poo. And it gets weirder. Want the Elizabethan pale look? Lead and vinegar. It made your skin white. Sure, but it also made your hair fall out and your skin turn gray. You didn't just look like a ghost, you were fast-tracking becoming white. Need some rouge? Crushed beetles. Shimmering eyeshadow, ground up fish scales. And in Japan, fermented bird droppings. So next time you complain about the price of mascara, just remember, at least it's not bird poop. I'm Victoria.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

And I'm Rob.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

And this is One Up the Annals. Let's go. Here's the male twist. Makeup didn't start as feminine. For thousands of years, yes, men wore it too. Ancient Egyptians wore coal eyeliner. That's K-O-H-L. Ancient coal was typically a fine powder of paste created with ground minerals mixed with liquids like water, oils, or animal fats. Roman men used powders, Chinese nobles painted their faces, and women wore it too, for status, spirituality, and beauty. In Egypt, women lined their eyes for protection from the glare, infection, and evil spirits. But also, they looked good. Because even then, makeup wasn't just about beauty, it was practical. And then, there were the powdered wigs. We've all seen those guys. Which, if you think about it, was basically makeup for your entire head. White powder, rouge, beauty marks. Men walked around looking like very confident ghosts. And somehow that was considered power. And here's where it gets even funnier. Because in the animal kingdom, it's usually the males who wear the makeup. Peacocks, birds of paradise, bright fish, colorful lizards, etc. The males are louder, brighter, more dramatic, all to impress, you got it, the females.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Hold on. So you're telling me that in nature, the guy has to do a full choreographed dance in the neon suit that basically matches every other male just to get a maybe on a Sunday afternoon. But in the human world, it comes down to a pickup line.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Exactly. You've become biologically lazy. The birds of paradise are embarrassed for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

That's fair. I'll go buy some blue face paint and hang out in the produce section and try to impress with my Humpty Dance or the Carlton.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

I paid to see that. Fortunately, at some point, women didn't just take over makeup, we perfected it.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

And maybe the drama part too.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

But not without a fight. In the 1800s, not me, the other Victoria, Queen Victoria, declared makeup impolite, too artificial, too deceptive, too scandalous. So women pinched their cheeks for pink, bit their lips for red, because apparently looking good was fine, looking like you tried was suspicious. But then the 1920s happened. Hollywood, lipstick tubes, movie stars, and suddenly makeup became feminine identity. Because silent films relied on facial expressions to convey emotion, makeup was used to exaggerate features for the camera. The Cupid's Bow. To ensure lips stood out in black and white, makeup artist Max Factor developed styling, drawing heart-shaped outlines smaller than the natural lips. Smoky Eyes. Orthochromatic film, blue sensitive, registered red as black. To make eyes pop, actresses wore heavy, dark, smudged eyeshadow and coal eyeliner, which fans quickly began to copy for evening wear. Dough-eyed brows. Long, thin, and drooping eyebrows were drawn on to create mournful or dramatic look that registered well under harsh studio lighting. And something else happened too. Even during wars, even during recessions, lipstick sales went up. It's called the lipstick effect. When everything else falls apart, people still want to feel confident, still want to feel ready, still wanna war paint. And that's where something interesting happened. Because makeup stopped being just decoration, it became an experience with levels. Every woman knows this. There's everyday makeup, and then there's important makeup. Date night makeup, wedding makeup, girls' night makeup, a little extra at the gym or the supermarket, hoping to run into your crush. This is not casual, this is alchemy. We are the only creatures on earth who paint our moods onto our skin. Feeling soft, pale pinks, feeling dangerous, a lip so red, it looks like it should be considered a warning label. Feeling sad? Routine. Even just a touch of makeup and throw on sweatpants. Music playing? Time disappearing. One eye perfect, the other can't keep up. And somehow, you still leave the house like nothing happened. Makeup became more than appearance. It became joy. It became confidence. It became a better day and mood. It became unready. Every now and then we drift just a little back to the original purpose. The contour sharp enough to cut glass. The lashes with their own zip code. The eyebrows that have opinions, and then there's the bold ones. The Easter pastels, the neon blues, the pinks that can be seen from outer space, five brush strokes short of Ringling Brothers Circus. Somewhere between beautiful and is she going to a rave or summoning something? And it does serve a purpose, but yet borderline clown makeup still looks like war paint. She has the look. I may be going to brunch to drink, but emotionally, I'm prepared for battle. Because somewhere between the brush and the mirror, something changes. And for all of us, when it's the perfect balance between none and just right. She stands taller, she moves differently, protected, confident. She becomes more herself, and that's become an essence of femininity.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

I have to admit, I'm looking at this differently now. I used to just think, oh, she's ready. But this? This is high-level engineering. The steady hand, the precision. I've seen guys give up on a key of furniture with less stress than you put into a winged eyeliner. It's not just getting ready, it's a discipline. I'm actually kind of inspired. Terrified mostly, but inspired. Still can't quite accept being late so much, but I can appreciate the process.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

From warriors to powdered wigs to wedding day glam to a bad day. And a beauty box full of modern day war paint. Look in the mirror, get your confidence back, and be a woman. Makeup didn't stop being war paint, it just got prettier. Where transformation becomes confidence.