Ep. 12 - The Black Sheep They Couldn't Break with Yosh Markell

What happens when an ordinary morning turns into the moment that changes everything?

Yosh Markell was a husband, father, and successful business owner living a life centered around his family. Then, in 2023, everything changed. After unknowingly doing business with someone connected to stolen goods, Yosh found himself caught in the middle of a massive criminal investigation. His home was raided, his bank accounts were frozen, his business disappeared, and the life he had built was suddenly turned upside down.

Yosh opens up about the fear and confusion of watching his world unravel, turning himself in, living under house arrest, losing his ability to work, and depending on friends and family for help. He also shares the deeply personal toll it took on his marriage, his children, his parents, and his own mental health.

But this is more than a story about what Yosh lost. It’s about what he discovered when he was forced to rebuild.

Through some of the darkest moments of his life, Yosh found strength he didn’t know he had, learned the true meaning of resilience, and discovered a new purpose in sharing his story with others. Now, he’s using his voice to remind people that one moment can change the course of your life, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of it.

This is the story of Yosh Markell, the black sheep they couldn’t break.

Contact Yosh Markell:

Website: https://livingyosh.com
Instagram: @livingyosh
Facebook: Josh Markell
YouTube: @livingyosh

Slide into the Black Sheep’s DMs – Janine’s waiting.
Email: info@stellamix.com
Website: www.stellamix.com

Produced by StellaMix

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Most of us think it will never happen to us until one bad decision, one bad friend, one wrong turn or one accusation changes everything. Today's guest knows exactly what that feels like, and he wasn't expecting to be arrested. He wasn't expecting his life to be turned upside down. But in an instant, everything he knew about freedom, justice, and second chances was put to the test. Because when your freedom is taken away, you quickly learn who you are and who everyone else is. So welcome back to the pasture, my fellow black sheep. I'm your host, Janine Stella, and today I am joined by Yosh Markel. His story is one of true resilience, perspective, and what happens when life changes truly in the blink of an eye. So if you've ever wondered how one moment can alter a course of a person's life, this conversation is one you don't want to miss. This episode is called The Black Sheep They Couldn't Break. Yosh, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Thank you so much for having me. And I love the title. It's it's it's it's perfect.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Oh, I'm glad. Yeah. You know, I I I love being a black sheep. I always tell people like we're we're a good breed of people. Um there's black sheep of all of all types, but um I'm excited that you're here. I know this, you know, this isn't an easy story to tell. It's your story, but I'm sure it still isn't easy to tell. It's it it's it's emotional, can and you know, and I thank you for trusting me with it. Um I'd love to start at the beginning, really. Like you're located where currently you're in Broward County?

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I am. I am I'm uh I've been in Florida for about 20 years. Um I wasn't Dade for about 10 years, but then my I got married, luckily. And after stalking my my wife for about two years until she finally gave in, and uh we moved to Hollywood about uh Broward about 14 years ago, give or take.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

I love that about you. My husband stalked me as well until I went out with him. So I completely I appreciate the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

By the way, I feel like shouldn't every guy stalk someone he really likes, not in a creepy way, but like in a way he's like you know, I I want you, I want to be with you, so why would I not? Like, I didn't even give her a chance to date other people. I you know, I I I would I'd work till 10 o'clock at night. I'm like, I'm coming over, you're not going on a date. The point you know what? I I actually like this attention because you're a good guy. I'm like, okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

I think my husband he wound me in the same exact way. He was like, I'm not giving you an option, and you can't get rid of me. And I'm like, all right, so I guess I'm you know it's I think it's endearing. I think it's great. When a man doesn't give up on a woman, I think it's it's such a it's such a wonderful uh term of endearment, so to speak. It's a good love letter.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, she didn't give up on me through everything I've been through. So um it's it's and we just had our 18th year anniversary, so we're doing okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

That's awesome. I love to hear that. And we'll start with like I guess I want to know before we get into all of this, because I'm sure we'll get into quite a bit, but who were you before all of this happened? Like, what did your life look like prior to the arrest?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

I'm glad you asked. So it was very, I don't want to say the perfect white picket fence, you know, gray wife, but I was very content. Um, I don't really need so much to be happy. I uh and not in a bad way, I don't put myself first. I was very involved in you know, in people who needed help. I was very involved, my kids, my wife, you know, we wouldn't go away much. I was very much a homebody. Um my parents, I was I'm very close to my parents. Um I have my my one grandmother still around who um I I would see a lot. I was just very much a family person, friend person. I I loved being around people. And I had a good job. Um and I yeah, I just I was just I was I've always been happy. You know, I've always been very content. I always looked to grow, obviously, but um everything was good. You know, I had my my basic car, we had our house, my wife's grandmother lived with us for about five years. So everything that I feel like is picture perfectly make you happy. I I feel like I had it. I didn't have a lot of bad things happen. I lost family members, but I was very content. To me, it was like, you know, if I have this type of life moving forward, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

And tell me what year it was when everything changed.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

2023. Wasn't content anymore.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Wasn't content. So 2023, and take us back to that day. Like when did you realize you found yourself like you were literally wrong place, wrong time with the wrong people?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

So it actually took a few hours into the whole situation. I was taking my I dropped off my son at school, which is about five minutes away, and my daughter happened to not be going to school. She was she was going to school late that day. So I had her and my dog, and we're about to enter my community because it's a gated community, and I see flashing lights behind me. I'm like, okay, you know, I didn't do anything, I'm just gonna move out of the way. No big deal. That's what you do. Next thing I know, I'm pulling over on the on the grass, and um the car is still behind me, flashing lights. Officer comes to my window and knocks on the window. I'm still like a little confused, like, you know, what's going on here? He tells me license and registration. I'm like, okay, I'm about to hand it to him, and he's like, get out of the car. I'm like, okay, I've never had to do this before, but okay. Give me your keys, your wallet, your phone, basically everything I had on me. Um he checked me to make sure I had nothing on me. And then I had a stand behind in front of his car, like literally in front of his car while my daughter and dog are in the car, and I don't know what they're saying to her. I um and then you know, for like two hours. Oh no, then they asked me to where my wife was. I told them she's at the gym. So while I'm waiting and my friends are driving, you know, ask me what's going on, which I have no idea. Um I have no, I don't know what's happening. I'm like, uh, okay. Um and about two hours in, uh, where there's a bunch of police cars, a paramedic, um, they tell me to get back in my car, and they would follow me to my home. I literally turn the corner to my house and I see a movie scene, you know, tons of police cars, you know, people with guns, and an armored truck. I remember perfectly the armored truck, like, because that's where I was like freaking out. And all I'm thinking, like, my daughter's not saying anything. I'm like, is that for me? Like, it doesn't make sense, but am I going in there? Like, and that freaked me out. So I pull over, my wife shows up, takes my daughter, um, the officer tells me just to wait outside in front of my car again. Um, and then I still have no idea what's going on. I I don't know what's happening. Eventually I asked him if I could pray because I have to pray by a certain time every morning. He tells me it's fine. I go inside, I start praying, and I just see my house full of officers, people at a table with a computer and bags to put stuff in. And I'm still like, why is this happening? It was so unreal. Uh, my wife shows up after taking my daughter to school, and we have to sit on a couch, just watch her house being taken over for about two hours, and then that was crazy. And then finally, one of the officers asked me to come into the kitchen. I walk in, there's like five officers standing at the counter, just like looking at me, one sitting next to me, and they have a big pad of paper, and they start asking me questions, kind of like what you're doing today. Like, nothing where I'm just like, like, what's going on here? I know a lot of people said you should ask for a lawyer, but I've never been through this. I never like I didn't think anything was wrong. Even though there's a crazy scene at my house, like I I guess I was just my go drawing a blank because I was so freaked out or so confused. They asked me, where are you from? What do you do for a living? Who do you buy from?

SPEAKER_00 8:26

So at that point you didn't think, oh, I need to ask for an attorney because you didn't know why they were in there to begin with. Because of course they didn't say anything to you.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I didn't see anything wrong. Even the questions. And and so eventually they seem to get a little annoyed because like I didn't have anything bad to say. And so they're like, they finally say, Do you know that the stuff you're selling was stolen? I'm like, what? I'm like, like, how's that possible? Like, did people rob trucks? Like, you know, huge trucks? How would you get this much inventory? Like, it doesn't even make sense to me. And then they keep on asking me questions, like, like, but in a like a tough tone. Like, you know, we're gonna get them to say something, and I'm just like, what do you want me to say? You know, like I'm really bad with dates, so when they're asking me, like, what year were you like when what what day do you work for this job? What day do you? I'm like, I think around this day, so you were in shock.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

You're already, it's trauma. You're already like in a state of shock. These you have these people that are intimidating, asking you questions in your home in front of your family.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

So I started to have a panic attack, like literally. And uh I said, Can I go back to my wife? And they they said yes right away. And then when I got on the couch, I just started freaking out because they said, We closed your bank account, we closed your Amazon business, and I'm just like, okay, this is getting real. Like, my life is being torn apart. Like, you feel like you lost everything. To the point where I was freaking out so much, and they said, Should we keep take your guns? We have we both have a gun. And my wife's like, please, like literally take them. Because I don't know what he's gonna do. Like, that's how that's how freaked out I was. Like, I literally lost everything in the matter of a second. Not just, you know, a couple items in my house. My business I worked so hard on, my bank account, you know. So I'm just like, I'm thinking I'm gonna be taken away. And all I have to think about is, you know, am I gonna be able to take my son to hockey that night? Am I gonna be able to finish, you know, getting ready for the holidays? Because the holidays are coming up. And uh I be it I'm not I'm only saying that because like I take pride in how close I am to my family. And that was the most important thing. Like, before you take me, can I at least do these things? So luckily they didn't take me. Um, and they just said, get a lawyer. I go through my house, things are destroyed, my office is destroyed, you know, handsome.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

But they didn't arrest you at that point, Yoshi. No. So they ransacked your home, everything's upside down, they freeze your bank account, everything that you know is suddenly gone, but you weren't arrested. No. What happened after that?

SPEAKER_01 10:55

I I went to my house phone because I didn't have my phone anymore. And uh I called one friend, I said, I need a lawyer, I need a lawyer. And they they recommended one lawyer. Uh a bunch of my friends came over to watch the kids and to check on me. They're just like, what the hell is going on here? Because they knew this was crazy. Like they know I would never do anything to make an extra buck. You know, and uh we went to a lawyer, and obviously I was very anxious, so I said my wife, let's hire him. Like, I don't know first thing about hiring a lawyer. She's like, maybe we should wait. Because she's the calm one, because she's been through a lot. You know, like even I never met her dad because he passed away before I met her. Um, you know, she's been through a lot and she had a tough childhood. So she's like, you know, keep it together. Keep it together. One, you don't want to scare the kids, and you have to still be strong. We don't know what's going on still, we don't know totally what's going on. Uh so we just went home and you know, we we called lawyers. So we I I asked my friends who are like doctors and people who who deal with uh high-profile people, and we started calling lawyers.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Let's take a step back. Sorry to interrupt you, but I'm gonna take a step back for a second. For people that don't know your story or anything about what we're talking about, let's let's rewind. You were and I read up on this story. Um, in fact, it it in USA Today, um, it they called it the modern day mafia. I'm quoting USA Today, okay?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

No, that's yeah, it's uh they had a whole like a setup of like the attorney general and and this whole platform, like it was like a press conference.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

It says basically it says 14 charged in Florida retail theft ring that stole $20 million in goods. So basically what was happening is you had an online Amazon store. You were reselling goods that you had purchased at a discount, and you were purchasing, you were it's capitalism at its best, it's what everyone does, it's what people do on eBay, it's what people do on Amazon. They have Amazon stores, they have eBay stores. You were buying items at a discount and then reselling them for profit on Amazon. And you had been doing that for a while successfully.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

About 13 years. I dealt with the biggest vendors in the country. I mean, because I wasn't greedy, um, and I was honest, and people just wanted to work with me. So this was the way I did, I worked with this guy, it was the same way I worked with anyone. You know, what do you have? Let me check if I can sell it. What's the price? Let's compare it to Amazon. You don't just come with a random price. You as someone who's selling to me, just like when I sell to somebody else, it's let's compare it to Amazon because you have to make something, you know, and and so it's not just a random price. It makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

So what kind of goods were you? I mean, I know, but for the audience, what kind of goods were you selling?

SPEAKER_01 13:40

So uh throughout the years, I sold basically anything and everything. I sold drones, you know, I sold quinoa, I sold Pop Tarts, you know, uh Legos, uh Nintendo's. From this supplier, I was buying um, you know, tools like DeWalt and um over-the-counter, you know, like medications like Advil or or even like hair products, you know, things you'd get from CBS or Walgreens or a Publix, whatever. Um yeah, I've sold everything because I don't have a boss. So anything that makes a penny, literally 10 cents, I would buy.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

So how are you finding these vendors? So in your business, and I'm reading up in here, it says you were very successful before all this occurred. You were you were raking in a very good six-figure business doing this on your own before you uh got involved in this particular gentleman that we're gonna talk about in in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

You were so some stuff I would buy from, you know, like Best Buy Business, Walmart, what anyone could buy from. And then I started, you know, I I would literally go on Google and type in electronic sellers. Like I would spend all day and I would look for people. Um, obviously I'd check their business records. Um, and if I if I didn't, you know, if it was like a random wholesaler, which there are tons out there, um, I would ask people, have you worked with this person? It's only because uh it's not because I don't trust people. Um, it's because I want to make sure you know they ship this stuff on time, you know, the product is good. Like what just like anything you buy. If you go to a car dealership, you ask your friend who might have bought from there also, what's the history? You get a Carfax, you know, whatever it is. You know, you go to a doctor, oh, was this doctor good? You know, you usually ask your friends. So I would ask people, you know, have you dealt with my friend and how did it go? Because some people they don't take forever to ship stuff, or the stuff comes damaged, or whatever it is, or you get you get the wrong count too often. So, yeah, you do your homework, you have to.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

And then you meet this dude. Can we say his name?

SPEAKER_01 15:37

If you want to, yeah. I mean, it's it's all good. It's it's not gonna bring back any trauma. It's it's it's it's all good.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Okay, so this guy, um, last name was Kata.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

So I had I had a friend who who introduced me to him, someone who was very well known in the community, someone um very um, yeah, he had a very good reputation, someone who you'd trust to give you a vendor, someone who's who is in the business, you know. And um he was a caught uh ace, I call him ace. He he was a dad of three, single dad, took his kids to school, took his dentist appointments. He was basically, in my mind, someone who's been in the business for 20 years, like I've been told, and he's just a dad trying to make a living, just like me. To me, it was like not that I you have to be a family man to work with me, but I'm just like, okay, you're a family man. You know, you have three kids, you're on your own. You know, people refer to you, you've done this before. This isn't your first time dealing with this. You've been in this business for a long time. Great.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

And you started making money. And it says it says in this article, and correct me if USA Today is wrong, because you know how media is, they're you can't you can't believe anything in what you read, but it sounds like he was a very reputable He was a reputable distributor for you, and you started potentially buying more and more of his products, and then you started making more and more money, but you had no idea where these products were.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Well, because when you just like you buy it from anyone, you wouldn't go and say where do you get this from because then they're they're gonna think that you're gonna go behind their back.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

So any of my vendors, they they would never they would hang up the phone and never work with me again.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

So this guy started buying stuff from, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Yeah. And I stole my other vendors, um, because I I still had people I had a relationship with. I don't just say, hey, by the way, I found someone else, you're not good enough. I still bought from my other vendors and he became a new supplier. And that's just how the business works. So you started supplier.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

So you started working with him and slowly but surely more of a percentage of your goods you started purchasing from him because the prices were good. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Yeah, I mean, it's yeah, if the prices are good, they're not too good to be true because, like I said, you know, some things I made 10 cents, sometimes I made I took a loss, but you take a loss, but you make up for it on the next deal. So it was good enough for Amazon. It was it was and it was consistent. We did like, I think 50% of the Amazon price, but fees you still sometimes are making like nothing, but it was always consistent. You know, 50% off of Amazon. I'm like, okay, that's very fair.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

So when did you go from making in the hundreds of thousands to the millions within the n I never I never made a million dollars ever? Never, ever. So never. So what what all the news outlets made it seem, and correct me if I'm wrong because I've I've gone through this myself with my husband. They all make it seem like it's this big racketeering ring and everyone is pulling together and everyone's in conspiracy with each other and everyone is you know in on it. So then they take the collective amount of what everyone else is making and make it seem like it's this whole pool of money. Hence they came up with that figure what $20 million.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

When I was interviewed, um they asked me how much I had in sales at that time, and I had about five million sales, which that by the way, anyone could have five million sales because you could be taking losses to get more capital. You could be buying, like I bought like sewing machines that were $200 a piece. You know, I bought a lot of them. So and they sold well because I I had good connections. Um so five million sales could be making could mean I'm making two hundred thousand dollars. It could mean I'm making fifty thousand because I'm making up from last year. It doesn't mean that you're making millions.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Right, it doesn't mean you're you're netting five million dollars.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Yeah, I I I wish that would be, I mean, I don't know how you get those numbers, but it'd be it's almost impossible. But yeah. So then you have to sell a lot to to make money in the Amazon business. It is how it goes.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

It's how it goes. So you're you're doing this, you're not thinking anything of it, you're making money, and then once it hit you that they started roping you in to m uh into this guy, they made you made you, you know, or made the world think that you were in cahoots for lack of better words, with this guy. What happened after that?

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Well, after they raided my house, uh well, before they raided my house, he he was killed. This guy was shot up in his house. Um I think that's what what caused the red flag, you know, as far as we need to get somebody. We need to find somebody to fit this story into you know all the I guess investigation work we did and stuff. Somebody has to take not just the blame, but the big blame. And that guy was me. I was the head of the you know, the family tree. I was literally on a family tree type of picture, and it was me up there and everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's like you wake up one morning and you don't think that in the blink of an eye your life is just gonna change. So I know from personal experience with family and um loved ones that when people get arrested, you really find out who your friends and family are, who sticks by you, who believes you, who doesn't think you're full of shit, who thinks like, hey, you know what? You got mixed up, it's not your fault. Tell me a little bit about that. Like, what was your biggest shock when that happened, like with friends and family? What happened?

SPEAKER_01 21:13

So I I I know this sounds crazy, but everyone was supportive. I mean, everyone I know. Look, there are people that were quiet because maybe they felt uncomfortable talking to me that I was friends with. I didn't really have the time to judge anyone. No one, you know, bashed me and like I'd walk into the temple and they'd say, Oh my god, he can't be here. Literally, people I didn't know, once they heard about it, they'd tap my shoulder and say, Are you okay? Like, I know it sounds crazy, but I have a reputation of being a very good person for my whole life, which it would help me survive this. I because I've always been a kind person, I've always put everyone first. And no one, at least I know in my to my face or to my friends, there's a few people that made some comments right when it happened that maybe they think. I thought it was funny, but to me it wasn't funny. Where I was a little annoyed, and I kind of kept my distance from people, which I had to anyway, because I was on house arrest. But um nothing made me feel uncomfortable. I I was okay going to temple, I was okay, you know, eventually taking my son to hockey, and everyone knew. Everyone knew because, like you said, it was it was on the news and all over the place, but that didn't affect me in any way. I had so much support. Thank God. I did have some family members who didn't talk to me, um and they still don't. Um I think it's because they're worried about their reputation knowing me. I don't even know if they know it's over. So I but um for the most part I I got a lot of love. I I really did, thank God, because I wouldn't have survived without it.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

So you're on, I'm trying to get a full picture. So they raided your house, then you were put on house arrest. You got an attorney, obviously, but they seized your bank account and they seized everything. So what did you do for money? Was your did your wife have to go and get a job? Was she already working? Like what happened?

SPEAKER_01 23:00

I was I had to turn myself in first. That about two weeks later on a Monday, I had to turn myself in. So I was on a $1.35 million bond, and that's not easy to come up with at all. Um so we tried to get the bond lowered multiple times, and finally they lowered it to like $8.30, but the terms were house arrest, um, and no, you can't use the internet, which even today I'm just like I don't even know why that was a term because especially because I I thought you were allowed to do research on your own case. Um, I guess you have to go to the library to become a lawyer, you know. When but um I had it was all friends. You know, I had a friend who put their house up for collateral with my house, cover the bond. Um we had savings. We don't anymore, but we had savings, thank God. They did take our bank account. My wife had from her grandmother left her some money when she passed away. Her grandmother lived with us. So we luckily had that, um, and she used that to get us out, and that that was basically everything. You know, that that was supposed to be for my kids one day or another emergency, not one that's forced upon me.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

So you're on house arrest. Are you allowed to work? What what did you do?

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I couldn't work because they said they're worried that if I worked, I'd start another illegal business, even though my lawyer definitely clarified that I I never did a legal business that I know of. Um my wife had to get a job. And I don't mean that, you know, she was spoiled, but she she got a job. You know, it didn't cover the bills, but it helped. Um, and I just had a lot of help from friends and family. I I I had a, you know, I'm I'm used to giving because I love to give. And not that it's it's not it is okay to ask for help, but I had to ask for a lot of help. I I literally was going door to door, you know, without leaving my house because I couldn't. And I just asked for help. I just constantly asked, and and people helped people from years ago, people you know who who didn't even know me because they really thought this was messed up. They because I was okay to sharing the story with them and heard from friends, they heard from people. Yosh doesn't do stuff like this. He he doesn't care to make the extra buck the wrong way. So people helped me. It was a gift from God. I got a lot of support.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

So, how has this affected your family dynamic, the relationship with you, your wife, you and your kids?

SPEAKER_01 25:22

So now you now you're now I know what you're doing. You're getting the crying.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Sorry, I'm good at it.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

I knew it was gonna come. Um, it's been look, it was it's been it's even though it's over, it's been very hard on my dad because my dad was sick before this happened. So that was very hard for my family already. And he felt like he wasn't strong enough to help his son, which for any parent, when you really can't do anything and you're sick, um, he's still recovering. He's still recovering, he's still on edge about anything. You know, if I call him and I'm saying, Dad, I was a little nervous because I had I had a I saw flashing lights. You know, I I try to be careful what I say because my parents are still scarred from it. They're still worried about you know almost anything I do. Are you allowed to do that? Because I'm on probation. They still ask me, are you are you sure you got permission? Like, so they're always on edge. They're the most loving parents. You know, my my kids, my boys are doing good. Um my daughter just became a teenager when this happened, so and she's my little princess, so it it's been hard. It's been hard to rework that relationship, and she was the one in the car. So it's um she's still recovering. She's still recovering, getting her dad back. And for me, it's it's like I never thought I'd have to work to get my kids back. You know, because I'm a I'm a very good dad. My wife is is a rock. You know, my my wife is the only reason I survived. Yeah, I thank God for my friends. I don't take away from that, but my wife has kept me so strong. She's dealt with my you know my emotions, you know, my thoughts I never thought I'd have in my head to leave the family, to possibly even hurt myself, I hate to say, but she she's always been there. She's she's an amazing woman because I think a lot of people would have been like, you know what, I love you, but I have to leave. And I would have been like, I I understand. And I mean, I probably would have been even more sick if that happened, but luckily it's for the most part it's been okay. But the hardest part is is with my daughter because I I love her so much, and it's not her fault. There's nothing she did wrong. But it was hard for me to be a dad even when I was present. I was I was absent when I was present. So it's emotionally for me, who's someone who's always there for the family, it's hard to feel like you can't do everything to help them when they helped you.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

That makes sense. Um as far as your mental state, if you're not working and you're at home and you're not allowed on the internet, what are you doing? Like what's a normal what's like a normal day?

SPEAKER_01 27:57

So I I was eventually allowed to go to temple in the morning to pray. So I'd go there, um, and then I'd come home and I'd just kind of think, you know, what am I gonna do today? I I started reading some books. I I got to that point where I was calling every friend because I needed someone to talk to. I I just called them and hope they're available where I I know I was being so pathetic. Um so I'd hope someone would pick up the phone. Sometimes friends would visit me, but it literally was me staring at my dog and thinking, I know what you're saying. You're asking me what we do instead. And I have to tell my dog, I was literally talking to my dog. I'm like, we can't do anything, we can't go anywhere. And um I was on medication, um I eventually was allowed to go to therapy, but every time I heard a siren or my dog would turn her head to see if something was there, I'd I'd go to the door. There were times where I was looking outside my door, maybe like every five minutes. Like literally, if I heard noise, I heard a siren or any movement from my dog, I'd be like to come to get me. It was it was just it was terrible. It was it was like I was totally I I was losing, I was losing my mind. You know, you think you're home, you oh, you get a break from the kids and the family. It's not enjoyable. It's not even your own home, it's not enjoyable being locked up. So the therapy was good. I eventually did group therapy, um, but it was it was hard. It was hard. And then you then you have uh you know you're in house arrest, you gotta deal with the deputies who I know they're doing their their job, but it's it's very hard. It's very hard to have someone telling you what to do all the time. And you have something beeping all the time, even if like you didn't do anything wrong, you have to check on it. You know, it's like if we sing at the table having dinner, beep, beep, beep, go check on it. You know, you can't you can't relax. You just literally cannot relax no matter what. I don't care who you are, it's it's so hard.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

So now, what are you what are you doing now other than getting your story out, right? Like you're actively getting on podcasts, and and are you allowed back on the internet? You're obviously we're on the internet now.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah, so I my life is basically back. I am restricted to Broward. Um, with permission, I could go to certain other counties. Um my friend got me a job. I can't sell anything anymore. Like literally, I can't even sell a book or so. Yeah, I don't know how you live that way. Um, but I'm working at my friend's nursing home in his office, um, which is it's good. You know, I'm very thankful. Um I obviously have to do more. Um it's not because you know I live in a luxurious life. You have to support a family. My wife's still working, but I'm I'm busier. You know, I'm more involved with the kids. I am focusing on sharing my story because that is very therapeutic and also I hope to help people. Um so my life is much more normal than it was. But I still have restrictions. I still don't feel like I'm contributing the way I'd like to, but I've trained myself to realize that everything takes time. That it's just how it is how it goes. I I can't trip out over something that I I I can't control. It's just I have no choice. And over two and a half years of having time to think, I've trained myself to be like, you know what, it's just how it is. You have to just relax and it's gonna work out.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

What have you learned about yourself most during this time?

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Um that I have the ability to get through anything. That even though it was tough at times, I'm a lot stronger than I thought. And I also realized that I wasn't content, I was content, but that's not with the way you live your life. And I learned that I have a lot more potential, and there's a lot more that I can accomplish. Um I feel like that's good. You know, it sucks what I went through, but if I needed that as a wake-up call to realize that I'm not doing as much in my life as I should be doing, then I guess that's what I needed. So I realized that, yeah, you could do more, Yosh. You definitely can. You're not just a nine to five dad, husband, and that's it. You can make such a difference. And I didn't realize that. I didn't realize how strong I was mentally, how strong I was at helping other people, um, how confident I really was, even though there's some days where I'm not confident, um, I feel like I could really do anything. And before I said I could, but now I really feel like because I have to start over again. So everything I do is a bonus. So when I accomplish something now, it's like wow, like even being on your show, you know, you listening to my voice and giving me a chance. Like, I'm like, this is a bonus. This makes me feel so good. Because it's not easy. It's not easy to reach out to people and say, hey, do you want to listen to me? Especially when you don't have a voice for three years. I was quiet. No one wanted to hear what I had to say. No one I couldn't speak up when someone was picking on me or bullying me. Because I didn't, I was, I was worthless in my mind. I wasn't confident. So I feel like I have a lot of potential and I could do almost anything. It just takes time, and that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

I love that. And I feel like at this point, what's next for you? Like, what's your your dreams and aspirations at this point? What's next for you?

SPEAKER_01 32:58

Most importantly, I want to support my family. Um, I don't want to ask for help anymore, um, even if people are offering it. But I want to make a difference to people with my story. I want to honestly, I want to write a book. Um, I want to become a motivational speaker. I want to take what I went through and use it as a gift that I was given. I just want to keep on making a difference and look at people in the eye and let them know that you can get through it. And I want everyone to know that. It's so important. And I if it means I have to be on a million shows, if people take me, that's great. Whatever I have to do, it doesn't get old when you're helping people, especially when you've been through it. Like it feels so good.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

I love that. And and people can, I'm looking at your uh for people that are listening. You can you can find this. Um, we're gonna put post some clips online, but um at at um what is it living yosh?

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Um on online. And where else can people find you?

SPEAKER_01 33:58

I have a YouTube channel. They're all living yosh. I'm on Instagram, Facebook. I don't like to do too much because I'm my own secretary, so um, I'm sure you know it's a lot of work. Um but uh they could also reach out on my website. I have my WhatsApp. You can also reach out. I love when people reach out to me for advice and and they tell me their story, and that because I feel like I could look, I could tell them, you know, give them advice and and and feel confident about it because I've lived it. So you can really reach out to me anyway, email, and don't be shy. You know, I I this is what I want to do. So my YouTube, my my website, Instagram, Facebook, please follow me because I have a journey, and and it's not only for like me feeling like you know, oh, all these people follow me, it's because everyone is now part of my journey, and it's it's awesome. You know, every even being on with you, like you're part of my journey now, and it's an amazing feeling. I have all those people that are there with me. It is, it's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

It's like you're starting fresh all over again, really. You're really starting like you're reborn again, and you're starting a whole new life.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Like all these people are a part of my life now in in such an amazing way. Like you get a new follower, you get you know a new message, like wow, you're part of my journey, and you and you want to hear what I have to say. I mean, it's it's awesome. What else can you ask for?

SPEAKER_00 35:16

That's such a great outlook. And I'm so happy that we connected and that you were able to tell your story. And I know there's so much more, maybe you'll be on for a part two. But in in closing, I mean, I just want to say thank you for trusting me with your story. And one thing I've learned uh from doing this podcast is that being a black sheep isn't about being perfect. It's about you know doing things when life hits you over the head and and and you're faced with what do I do next, right? And when not when life knocks you off course. And sometimes we're misunderstood, sometimes we're judged, sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we never imagined ourselves to be in, right? In in the whole world. But our worst day doesn't have to become our entire identity. And we can and we can we can restart again, and that's the that's the fun part. So your story really reminds me that it's resilience, it's starting over, it's the hard parts that happen, you're just turning them into positive things, every single thing, and you're just keep moving forward. So everyone listening, remember that one moment can change your life, the course of your life, no doubt about it. But it doesn't have to define the rest of your life. Right? And in today's conversation, if it resonated with you, my audience, please share this with someone who needs to hear it, follow the show, leave us a five-star review. And if you've ever felt like the black sheep, know this. You are more than the labels that people put on you. And until next time, keep questioning, keep growing, and always stray from the herd. Before we wrap up, let me be clear about something. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, and I'm not speaking for any medical or health organization. I'm just a black sheep with a mic, sharing my stories, my experiences, and what I've learned along the way. If you're struggling, whether it's mentally, physically, or emotionally, please reach out to someone who's trained to help. You deserve that kind of support. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I'll see you next time.