Revenge is Sour

We all have that natural pull toward returning evil for evil, convinced that if we don't match their behavior they'll never learn their lesson. But that thinking runs completely contrary to the teaching of Jesus, who loved us while we were still in opposition to Him. So the real question is whether the grace we've received has actually changed us, because if it has, it should show up in how we treat the people who wrong us.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome guys. My name is James, one of the pastors here, and I'm excited because we are in this series titled Solid Ground, which is just based off the Sermon on the Mount, right? And at the very end of the Sermon on the Mount, when he's talking about all these hard issues, Jesus brings it home with this really simple but straightforward decision that we have to make. Do we want to build our lives, build our homes on solid ground, which means to apply the teachings that you've heard, or do you want to, uh, as Jesus would say, hear them but not apply them? And then you would be like the builder who builds his house on sand. And when the winds come and when the waves come and when the storm comes, that house that is built on the sand falls apart. And so he gives us that right after a long list of some really difficult teachings when it comes to how we interact with one another. How do we do uh family? How do we handle lust and love? How do we handle promises, commitments? And today we have one where Jesus is going to quite honestly kick our butts because of the subject matter. It is just a difficult one. And I hope that we all walk out of here. Going, you know what? I was challenged today. I was pushed, the Holy Spirit was working on me, and there's some stuff in life that's got to change, that's got to be different. And so if you have a Bible, go ahead and turn to Matthew chapter 5, starting in verse 38. Uh, we're going to be looking at how Jesus says we're to deal with retaliation, right? When somebody mistreats us, how do we respond to that? But um, while you're turning there, quick show of hands. How many of you here have ever been hurt by somebody? Oh, good, a good number of you guys. Great. So you're gonna be able to follow along. Now, how many of you here have been hurt by somebody who is very close to you? Oh, good number of us, right? That that second hand raise is definitely the more painful one, right? Because the closer that person is, oftentimes the deeper the pain is. Uh, it stings a little differently. And so, what we're gonna be talking about is Jesus' uh response and and and teaching when it comes to how do we deal with the hurts and the pains in our lives when we feel like we've been wronged, when we feel like there's been injustice towards us. And so, if you have a Bible, Matthew 5 38, it reads this You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. We've all heard that, but I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil, but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. Anybody here just ready to walk out of church right now? Like, I'm done, I can't do this. Jesus' teaching here uh starts off with, you have heard that it was said, right? So this is his reference back to the Old Testament, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. So, what is he referencing? Well, again, in the Old Testament, they would say that it's an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as a way to to limit the the repercussions that that people would have when it comes into legal battles and legal disputes and wrongdoings. So they didn't want retaliation or retribution to go beyond what the initial damages that were done. So, what do I mean by that? If somebody took your tooth, you couldn't take their tooth and their eye and their ear. If somebody took your goat, you couldn't take their whole farm because they did that. You were only due a goat because they took a goat. Make sense? So an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You don't get to take above and beyond. We see it in our culture today, right? If there's a minor fender bender, what happens? That person goes, Oh, I'm getting a new car, my back hurts. Now that I think about it, I can't remember my name. And you're like, What? I can see the scratch, right? So this was a way to limit, like, hey, if there's wrongdoing, the punishment is not to exceed what the actual crime was. And so it was to limit the human heart when it comes to the area of retaliation, right? And it wasn't to diminish that there was wrong done. It wasn't have anything to do with that. It's to keep our heart from getting out of check, you know, to go, I'm gonna make you pay above and beyond for the wrongdoing that you've done to me. And so their their system was built on an eye for an eye tooth or too. And they began to find so that they weren't exchanging teeth, but a financial, you know, marker of what these different things would represent. So that way, if you did damage the car, you'd have a certain payout in monetary value, right? But Jesus says, you've heard that it was said. This is the way it's been when it comes to legal standings, and and it's a good model, really, for government and for laws for us to have consequences for actions. And so don't get this twisted that Jesus is not saying that we become human doormats or that we no longer are able to stand up for anything. Please hear this. As Christians, we should absolutely stand up against evil and wrongdoing and wrong in the world. There's nothing wrong with having a military and police officers who have to respond to evil and injustice. What he's talking about here is taking that concept and not applying it necessarily directly to our lives and our interactions with one another, to actually consider that, yes, that may be what we do at large when it comes to government and civics, but when it comes to our heart, we are not going to insist that everybody always pays for every wrongdoing. Would we consider being people? That yes, we've heard an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say, but Jesus is changing it, but I say to you, don't resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Would you consider that our heart not demand that everybody get the payment they deserve when it comes to personal relationships? Now, I love this, right? Because he says, You have heard that it was said, and everybody knows you know that line that he's quoting, and and they get the Old Testament context and they get what he's communicating. Could I maybe share with you some of the things that we've heard in our culture of how we handle retaliation? How many of you have heard this? Please finish the sentence if you know it. What goes around. Oh man, you guys are sinners. Love it. Revenge is sweet. How many of you guys have said this? Two can play. Yeah, there you go. Give them a taste of their own. You guys are rotten to the core. You mess with the bull, you get the oh, you guys have said these. Okay. You better be careful because you are poking the I love it. You guys are bears and bulls all at the same time. You start it. Love it. Okay. So we have heard these phrases, right? And it's all based around the same concept of an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. If you get something towards me, you're gonna get something in return. For every action, there's gonna be a reaction. If you come at me, if you mess with the bull and I am the bull, you are gonna get the horns. And we've we've heard these things, we've said these phrases. If you're gonna dish it out, then you better be able to take it. Why? Because I'm gonna dish it right back. And that's what Jesus is getting at. That our hearts have been conditioned to this teaching that you've heard these things and you actually apply them to our lives, that that's the best way to respond to people. That what goes around comes around. That revenge is gonna be sweet, that they deserve it, they're gonna get what's coming to them. And he says, But I want you to consider this. But I say to you, don't resist the one who is evil. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And you're like, I don't really like that phrase. Many have asked, Well, what does this mean, this slapping on the right cheek? Well, the principle here is in this Jewish culture that they get slapped on your right cheek, they're they're kind of implying that it's this backhanded slap of disrespect. It's the ultimate form of I think lowly of you, and it's disrespect towards you as a human being. It is different than just this physical violence for physical violence's sake. And please, again, hear this. This this isn't a passage that's gonna say, hey, if you're in an abusive dynamic, continue to just be there and turn the other cheek. That's not what we're talking about here. What we're talking about here is this form of disrespect from one another, and and it's the ultimate in that culture. And so for our you know, day and age, what this would look like, I can only go so far with this, but I want you to picture what would your response be if you were out on the street and somebody gave you the bird and started to tell you that they thought that you were a little piece of something and you they just went off on you. What would your response be? I don't know, but I'd start to, you know, for me, you know, I'm a sinner, okay? I think I don't got a lot of muscles, but all of them would start to tense a little bit. You know what I mean? The bull would start to come out, begin to say, Who do you think you're talking to? Don't you talk to me like that. You know what I mean? You might be tempted to go, I'll tell you what. And you match that intensity, you match that language back at them. You'd give them one of these, right? But this is this great disrespect, belittling of you as a person. And Jesus says, Could you imagine if someone does that? The the law has always been, and what we've always said that if it's an eye for an eye, clearly this means if someone slaps you, what our culture and what has always been, if somebody slaps you on the right cheek, in turn you slap them on their right cheek. That's what is just fleshly normal, that's what's culturally normal. And he says, But could you turn to him the other also? Could you do that? That's challenging. That's a tough one. Jesus is gonna hit sort of the same scenario, situation in multiple different ways, but highlighting different aspects. And so he says in verse 40, he says, and imagine if if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, your your undergarment, your your clothing, they would sue you for that. All that you have, all that you own, take the shirt right off your back. Would you let him have your cloak as well, your warmth, your outer layer, the one that is even more valuable? Could you imagine that if somebody was trying to challenge the security and the safety you have, if somebody was to um go after your possessions, would you be able to forgive in that? Or would you then file a counterclaim seeking to they take their tunic and their cloak? He says, Would you would you just imagine if someone forces you to go one mile and you go with him too? Now, why would somebody force you to go a mile? Well, the the Jewish people are under Roman rule, and so it'd be common for a soldier to need to get supplies one way or another or to have things in his his possession and him to just command somebody off the street to go, hey, you come carry this stuff over here. We're gonna walk a mile. And the Jews hated that. They hated being under Roman rule, and so to be commanded around by this ruler that you don't respect, this person you don't want over you, they hated it and despised it that they could just be commanded around. And me, I'm a full-blooded American, baby. I love a screeching bald eagle as much as the next guy, right? And so I get it. I go, don't you overstep into my rights? You know? You're not gonna tell me what to do with some government overstep. You guys are looking at me like I'm the only one that thinks this way right now. I know I'm not. But Jesus hitting at this thing to us is like, okay, what's the big deal about walking a mile and then instead walking two miles? It struck a nerve on their their ego and their pride and their who they are as themselves. That I'm not gonna be bossed around, I'm not gonna be belittled by somebody, I'm not gonna have them tell me what to do. And he says, Could you imagine if they ask for one mile and you go two with them? And they're like, No, no, I cannot. I think in all of our lives, we've we've been hurt, we've been offended, we've had somebody quote unquote strike us on the right cheek. We've had somebody come after us in some way, we've had somebody inconvenience us, we've just been wronged by people. And Jesus' words here, they just they don't sit well. Because for many of us, we go, where's the justice in this? Where's what's fair in all of this? I don't know if you guys have ever played this game, but I I've fallen into the trap where if somebody's wronged me, I take it upon myself to where I need to be the judge in this situation and I deem them wrong. I'm I'm the jury and I've concluded that they're in the wrong. And I become the executioner that I'm going to then make them pay for what they've done wrong. And if I don't, how will they ever learn? Right? I become the the God that needs to make sure they learn their lesson, you know? That you don't talk to people like that. And of all the people that you're gonna talk to, you've talked to the wrong person that way. I'm going to teach you a lesson. Let me ask you this. How many of you ever had the thought I'm gonna teach them a lesson? Oh, so you've played this game too. What a dangerous trap we fall into. Where Jesus is saying, could you turn the other cheek? And we go, No, I'm going to make sure they understand what it feels like to get hit on the cheek. We hold on to our tunic and our cloak real tightly. I'm not gonna have my rights, I'm not gonna have myself be put down by anybody. I'm gonna make sure they learn their lesson. And we might do this in a couple different ways. We might begin to belittle somebody in the way we talk. Some of you here, I hate to tell you this, you you think you're passive aggressive, but you're really just aggressive. And some of you are so passive aggressive, it's it's painful. We do this with the silent treatment, or we're gonna teach them a lesson. And we do all this because we feel justified, that we have a righteous reaction to what they've done to us. And in all this, we're really just teaching them a lesson. But the the truth is uh for myself and probably for you as well, is that we're really not qualified to be in the judge position. When we've been wronged, when we've been hurt by somebody, our our our vision of the situation is clouded, we're hurt, we're in pain. And so the the the justice we think we're gonna bring to the situation is really actually more like vengeance. And it begins this returning of a jab towards them, and they return a jab again, and before you know it, everybody's justifying their position because of what the other person did. And you're like, how did this whole thing blow up? Well, I did this because if they said that, well, if you wouldn't have did this and wouldn't have said that, and it just spirals out of control. And when we're seeking vengeance, we'll we'll never be satisfied with actual true justice. Because we're hungry for them to pay, we're hungry for them to feel it. And Jesus is just challenging all of that in us, this this desire for ourselves to be always be made right, for things to always be fair. I notice this in myself too. I want things to be really fair when somebody's hurt me or wronged me, but I love grace and mercy when I've wronged somebody else. I love forgiveness. Don't really love giving it, but I love receiving it. And so Jesus' whole statement here is turn the other cheek. Let him have the cloak, walk the two miles with them. Verse 42 give to the one who begs from you. Do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. And I hear that and I go, Yeah, I I I'm good to give to somebody. But there should be a good amorite amoridization schedule, and there should be good interest on this, because that's what's fair for me. And there's so much in our interactions with with one another, with some of the people we're closest to, where we want everything to be fair and equal, and and truly, even for us to benefit from it. How many of you guys here would love to get an interest-free loan? How many houses would be paid off like 10 years ago, right? We love that. How many of us here are offering interest-free loans to one another, though? That's how we get into this situation. We want it to be fair, we want it to be right. Yeah, Jesus is challenging all that. Would you not have it be about yourself? Would you oftentimes, and this is painful to say, as again, just an American, an individual, would I be willing to lay down, yes, my rights, my liberties for the sake of relationship to be made right? Would I be willing to forgive and to let go and to bury the hatchet in situations where I feel like they've really done wrong and I haven't? Am I willing to do that? You know, I I've been honest with you guys, I genuinely do struggle with this idea, this concept, that the teachings of Jesus. And uh, I'm really pleased that somebody else did too. In in Matthew 18, Jesus was teaching again on forgiving one another and what that looks like, and and if somebody sins against you, and Matthew 18, 21, Peter comes up to him and he says, Lord, how often? Like this whole teaching on forgiveness, like that's really beautiful, that's powerful, but like how often should I forgive my brother who's who sinned against me? And I love this little statement. I I think Peter thinks he's being like super spiritual right here. He's like, as many as like seven times, like that's pretty good, you know, seven times. And Jesus says to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Peter's like, that was my second answer, actually. What did you just say? No, Peter, you you just keep forgiving. Right? You don't keep score. I think Peter had somebody who had maybe wronged him six times, and he's like, dude, they got one more shot at this. And Jesus is like, 77 times. But this is this is why why why he says this, because in verse 23, right? Like, how could how could he say to just keep forgiving? He gives a great explanation, and he's teaching Peter, but teaching everybody who would listen. He says, Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. And when he began to settle one, settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents, a lot of money. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, and with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. Right? So this guy's gonna be uh enslaved pretty much forever. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, not nearly the same amount. And seizing him he began to choke him. This is violent, saying, Pay what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me, and I will pay you. He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. And when his fellow servants saw that all what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. And then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in his anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. And Jesus says, So also my heavenly. Heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. I told you this was going to be a tough passage. We harbor so much animosity and anger and frustration and bitterness and hurt and pain, and we're carrying the baggage of it, and we do not want to let them off the hook because what if they don't learn their lesson? Or they need to know how much they hurt me, or they need to know how wrong they are. And Jesus is saying, I have forgiven you for every wrong doing you have done. There is nothing, nothing that I do not forgive you for. So why do you hold on to forgiveness as if it is so limited? We are the servants of this story. And we refuse to let go of the pain and the hurt because we don't want them to not feel it. But let's be real, we don't want to feel our own shortcomings and hurtings. We don't want to feel the repercussions of that. And God's saying, I have forgiven you for it. He's extended so much grace and mercy. And what could be so dangerous for us, if I could be really honest here, is when we don't think we've done very much wrong. And so we hold this really high, arbitrary standard for everybody else because we don't think that we're needers of grace and mercy. We don't think that we're recipients of it. And so we want to hold everybody to this standard that we believe we're keeping? The truth is we got to be humbled, we gotta be brought down low and take inventory that we have been forgiven much, so I'm gonna forgive much. I am the chieftain of receiving grace from God, and so who am I to not turn the cheek, to not let the cloak go, to not walk the mile, to not give freely? Who am I to do that? It's so critical. We be people of forgiveness and grace. It's a major point of emphasis when when they go to worship at the temple, Jesus says, Go settle things with your brother. Go settle things, go make things right with those who you have offense with, those you have hurts with, then come worship. The animosity, the anger, the pain, the hurt that we're carrying, it not only damages the relationship we have with one another, it's damaging our relationship with the Lord. We're not freely doing and giving what he's given to us. We cannot say we love God and hate man as much as you might not like them. They are children of God whom he loves just as much as you. And you're like, yeah, but they're a dirtbag. I agree. But the truth is, so are you. Nobody said amen on that. What happened? Yeah. But as as all of us, our servants who with with large debts that have been forgiven, we have to freely forgive and let go and release and lay down our liberties and our rights and and bury the hatchet with things in our life because we're carrying a weight that we were never meant to carry. And for any of you in here who have incredible deep wounds and pains, you know how heavy they are because you've been carrying them this long. Right? And it is dragging you down. And forgiveness can be given long before somebody asks for forgiveness. You can freely give it. Peter struggled with this, I struggle with this, and Jesus takes us even farther in verse 43 of our original passage, Matthew 5. He says, You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. You've heard this, you know this. This is the common teaching of the day. But I say to you, love your enemies. Love them. How do we love our enemy? It's funny because if we love them, they're really no longer an enemy to us. They could be enemies in their minds, you know, we that that we could be at odds, but if you love them, you really no longer have this enemy. I just think of how extreme this is. Jesus, you want me to love them and you want me to pray for them. Pray that there'd be blessing in their life, pray that they would be made well, pray that they would prosper, pray that good things would happen to them. You want me to pray for them, pray for reconciliation. That is just so far from the human heart. Because usually when I gather around and I pray, I go, Lord, thank you for this day, thank you for all I have, thank you for this home, thank you for my family, thank you for this and that. And then it's usually along the lines of like, Lord, I pray that you they would just get what's coming to them. We're not really praying, Lord. I pray for that boss that is really a jerk. I pray that you would just be so near to him. That's not what we pray. That's not what we ask. We're often wishing for ill to happen to people, that they get what they deserve. And Paul and and and and so many of the apostles, as they're actively persecuted and in jail, they they they practice this. They're praying for their persecutors, praying for those who are uh mocking them, belittling them, binding them in chains. It's possible for a human being to truly love and pray and wish this way towards one another. It feels so far-fetched, but it's possible. He says, in doing so, you may be sons of your father, sons and daughters of your father who is in heaven, which is a is a callback to Matthew 5 9. It says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. That if we want to be those who identify as children of God, the very attribute that we're to have is those who will be made, who make things right between us and other people. It's a marker that God has done a work in your life. It's who God is, it's what He's done. He's made things right for us, He's forgiven us, He's made things right while we were still enemies with God. He makes things right for us. And so if we want to be those who identify as children of God, we have to go and make things right long before they're ready to. While they are still sinners, we're gonna go and extend grace and mercy to them. Yeah, but they haven't apologized. That's the point. That's what Jesus did, that's what peacemakers do. They bring peace where there's not peace. We want to be peace participants. They asked for forgiveness, so then I forgave. What'd he do? A peacemaker goes where there is not peace and makes peace. That's how your sons and daughters of the Lord, that's how you embody what who our heavenly father is. This is the example he gives in 45. So you may be sons of your father who is in heaven, for he makes his son rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. God has a common grace for all mankind, even those who hate him, even those that do despise God, he still brings the sun up on them, he still lets rain fall on their crop. How many of you guys have ever played this game, though, where you almost get frustrated by God's grace and people who that you don't like or wicked people's lives? No, you don't do this? How many of you guys have ever been jealous of somebody who hates God but is filthy rich? You're like, God, I thought I was your favorite. What happened? That's his common grace. He lets the sun rise and the rain fall on the just and the unjust. Verse 46, he says, For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even even the tax collectors do that. Those who are crooked, they they always treat people who take care of them well. And he says, If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Don't even the Gentiles, those who don't even follow the Lord, they they do the same thing. So how are we really different? If we just love those who love us? It's real easy to love the people who are fans of you. It's easy to love your adoring fans. But what about your critics? What about those who challenge you, who speak ill about you in the office? Those who undercut you. The employee that steps into your lane, and you're like, I'm gonna strangle you. Get out of here. Your parents, your siblings, those who have hurt or wronged or done some sort of offense. How you treat them, Jesus is getting at, is is truly the marker that you've been changed, that you've been transformed, that you've been a recipient of grace and mercy from the Lord. Something that came to my mind as I was reading this, and just kind of thinking, even too, when Jesus is saying this, and he's given this example of turning the cheek and the cloak, and you're just like, these are really hard words. These are brutal to hear. And I can imagine me being there going, Who's this guy to tell me to turn the other cheek? Who's this guy to tell me what to do with my cloak? Who's this guy to tell me what I'm gonna do with my free time and who I have to listen to? Who's this guy to tell me what to do with my money and my resources? And it's funny as the gospel story plays out, right? And you know what Christ does on our behalf. The person that's telling you to turn the other cheek is the one who was mocked, beaten, slapped, punched, ridiculed, and humiliated. And when he hung up on that cross and when he's being crucified in Luke 23, 34, in all of that he says, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. While being slapped and mocked and beaten and whipped, he says, Father, forgive them. That's who's telling you to turn the other cheek. And you go, Who's this guy to tell me what I'm gonna do with my cloak and my tunic? Well, Luke 22, 34, the rest of it says, For they know not what they do, and they cast lots to divide his garments. Jesus is pretty familiar with what it's like to have somebody strip the clothing right off your back and then turn and forgive them. He's not asking us to do something he hasn't done. Who's Jesus to tell me that I need to walk and carry this thing for a mile for this stupid Roman soldier because he asked? Jesus is pretty familiar with a big heavy burden being put on his back and being told to go walk a mile. He's quite familiar with the the problems of the Roman government. He's well aware of their brutality. And so, punched, slapped, mocked, stripped of his tunic, carrying this weight for the mile, he knows what it's like to give freely, he knows what it's like to offer away things. Jesus is feeding thousands of people, he has no home, he has no place, he freely gives his own life for all of our accounts. And so, do you want to know who's challenging you to do these things? It's the one who embodied it, who lived it out, who's the perfect model of it. He's not just saying it just to say it. And what's crazy is we all go, I want to be followers of Christ, I want to be a disciple of his. Really? Pick up your cross, deny yourself, and go follow him in this. No, no, no. I was thinking more like the blessing passages where it's like God showers me with love and grace. Yeah, but there's the denying of yourself, there's the releasing and forgiving of other people. That's what Jesus did. It means loving our enemies, loving the critics, the haters, those who mock. Alright. I kind of put all that together and I was convicted of just how little petty things could creep in and build resentment towards people. And it's the tolerance is so low, so little. And Jesus didn't just say these in a in a hyperbolic way, but he truly lived it and embodied it, and he did it for my account and your account. And so, to just kind of bring this whole thing to a close, what are we doing? If we only greet our brothers and sisters, those who like us, the Gentiles do that. The true mark that we've been recipients of grace and mercy and the goodness of God is that we freely give grace and mercy and forgiveness. And so I want to challenge you. Man, at at the level of your deepest pain and hurt. The wound that stings the most. Don't just forgive the light level offenses. Let the truth of this passage get down to that pain that you don't want to talk about, that you don't want us to bring up. Your little pet anger that you keep the bitterness you've had in your heart for a week, a year, a decade? Bring that to the table. And say, Lord, I I'm ready to give this thing up. I'm done carrying this. I'm gonna freely give.