Judgemental Christian

Before you point out someone else's flaws, are you sure you can see clearly yourself? In this message, we unpack Jesus' warning against judgment and hypocrisy, and why real correction only comes after we've dealt with the log in our own eye. It's an honest look at pride, self deception, and what it actually takes to help someone else grow.

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My name is James, one of the pastors here. And uh if you're joining us for the first time or maybe uh first time in a while, we're actually wrapping up a series today. It is the last message uh of our series titled Solid Ground. Uh, we've been looking at Jesus' Sermon on the Mount Teaching and specifically how it connects to our homes, our families, our relationships, uh, so many of the subjects and and the topics that Jesus spoke on, everything from retaliation, promises, anger, divorce, like lust, you name it, it has to do with our relationships and our homes. And so today there's one that is no different. It speaks to what's going on in our lives. And I don't want you, uh, please, for the next 30 seconds, do not look at whoever you came with. Uh, do not, do not begin to point fingers at them, just lock eyes with me. Today we're going to be talking about those who maybe struggle with being critical, being judgmental, maybe being harsh. They might say things like, I I'm not judgmental, I'm just highly opinionated, uh, I know how to do things the right way. I'm just being brutally honest, or maybe I just hold a high standard. Okay. Now, some of you may know somebody who struggles with these types of things. Um, and that's okay that you acknowledge it, but I would encourage you maybe not to acknowledge the person sitting next to you has that problem. Uh, especially because the passage that we're gonna look at, Jesus speaks uh just so abundantly loud and clear on how it is that we treat one another when it comes to this area. And it would be a shame for us to kick off this sermon and we begin to be judgmental of the person that's judgmental in our homes. You're gonna set yourself up for failure for the rest of the service. So, with that, let's go ahead and look at the text and see what Jesus says in Matthew chapter 7, starting in verse 1, uh it reads this it says, Judge not that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye? But do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye when there is in where there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Right? We've all heard this passage, I'm sure, before at some point, it's probably been misquoted as well. Uh, the judge not that you be not judged, right? Everybody loves that one whenever they've made a mistake. Like, dude, you can't judge me for that, right? We love to throw that out. Uh, so we should examine what is it saying and what isn't it saying. So when he says, judge not, that you be not judged, what he's not saying is that we have zero discernment in things. What he's not saying is that we abolish any sort of government and laws and judges, that we get rid of uh even church discipline or having to deal with things in an orderly fashion. That's not what he's saying at all. Uh later on in this teaching in verse 6, he makes mention of a time where you need to use discernment. To give you a great example, if you are going to leave your kids and entrust them to somebody, you should use a little bit of discernment on who you're entrusting to watch your kids, right? You should use a level of discernment on who you are going to marry. You should use discernment when it you're deciding what church am I going to be part of? You should use discernment in a lot of different ways. And so this judge not that you be not judged doesn't mean that we just throw out any sort of uh decision-making abilities. What he's saying is that we are not to be the one who believes that we can um give the final verdict on somebody. We're not the one that can deem somebody wicked or guilty and in some way belittle them or make them less than ourselves. Uh we're cautioned in how we judge them because that same measure of judgment is gonna be used against us. It's a warning that we don't place ourselves in the seat in the position of being the judge because, well, it's just a it's a dangerous place to be. Uh, scripture tells us there's only going to be one judge at the end of this life, and I hate to break it to you. It's not you. You do not get to, at the end of this life, have everybody walk in front of you and you say, guilty, not guilty, you're a maybe guilty. There's only one judge in James chapter 4, starting in verse 12, it says, There is only one lawgiver and judge. That's Jesus. He who is able to save and to destroy. That's Jesus. So who are you, or but who are you to judge your neighbor? Right? It's a great warning to put yourself on the seat that only belongs to Jesus Christ. To put yourself in the position that I'm going to be the judge and the ruler of all humanity, I think that Jesus doesn't need to be judged because he's got me. The warning here too is that the measure you use, the strictness, the harshness that you bring in your judgment, be careful because you're going to bring that upon yourself as well. And so to an audience that would have very much been in the marketplace where there's scales and there's measurements and there's, you know, the weighing out of things, this would have been a picture of a time where we go, wait a minute, if I if I tip the scales to where they seem to be guilty with very little, where this the scales are tilted, uh, that that's a warning to me that those same scales will be used for me as well. But Jesus uh goes on and he asks a really important question in verse three. He says, Why is it? Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye? Why do you have this about you? But do you not notice the log that is in your own eye? That question of why? It's huge, it's critical. Why is it that we are people who can be judgmental and harsh and mean and just holding people to a standard that we ourselves are not ready to live up to? Why is it that we do that? And let's get really direct and personal with it. Why do you see the speck that is in your wife's eye, but you do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Why is it that you see the speck that is in your husband's eye, but not notice the log in your own eye? Why do you see the speck that is in your mom's eye? Your father's eye, your kid's eye, your neighbor's eye. Why is it that you see that, but you don't notice this log that is in your own eye, this diving board that is sticking off of your face? Why is it that you see that? That's a question worth wrestling with. Why is it that I seem to notice the faults of everybody around me? Why is it that I just seem to have this detection for failure in other people's lives? I want to throw out maybe a couple whys, but ultimately I really do believe that this is something you gotta take to the Lord and ask him to reveal in you. And you might be able to deal with it. But I would guess that maybe we are people who are critical because we're seeking our own validation. We're critical because somebody's been critical of us. And so we need to hold people to a standard and maybe have them fail to meet that standard because we know what that's like all too well. Maybe it's rooted in insecurity. Maybe it's rooted in just anger, feeling frustrated and upset and annoyed by this person or whatever it might be, and so we begin to hold them to a tighter and tighter standard. Maybe we don't maybe one of the reasons why is we believe that we actually live up to the standard we're setting for other people. And so if they don't live up to it, then they're they're they're letting down their end of the deal that they didn't know that they were making. They didn't even know they were playing the game that there was a standard to live up to in your mind. You made up that standard in your own mind. And in your own way, you believe that you're meeting that standard. My point is this is there's a lot of reasons why we could be critical, we could be harsh, we could be judgmental. But I think it's worthwhile to do the digging and to really wonder why it is at the root level, at the soul level of me, am I this critical with people? Why do I think that it's okay to talk to somebody that way or to think that way of somebody? You know, Jesus' audience here was obviously anybody who would listen or who would gather around, but uh a big part of the audience would be the Pharisees and the scribes. And they were notorious for big lofty prayers, dressing the right way, giving to the poor, just being very outwardly, you know, holy, being having the appearance of being spiritual. But Jesus is constantly rebuking them of where their hearts are, right? And a big part of him rebuking them was because in their facade and in their their acting of being holy, they would condemn, they would judge those who who fell short to the to the pharisaical standard that they set. And so I I bring all that up because oftentimes I think one of the reasons why we could be critical or we could be harsh is because, well, somebody's sin, somebody's shortcoming, the speck, is something that's maybe obvious on the outside. And our sins and our shortcomings, like the Pharisees, it's not something that's demonstrated on the outside, it's something more on the inside. And so it's easy to point the finger and go, why do you keep doing this? Why are you like that? How come you never change this? It's it's obvious you have this, but deep down, man, we have this hidden pet sin that's that's kept secret. And somehow that gets judged or gets put on the scale in a different way. Which brings me to the second part of Jesus' question here is it's why do you see the speck? But also, why is it that you don't notice the log that is in your own eye? Can I ask us this question? Is is there something in our life? Is there a blind spot in our life, in the in the condition of our soul, that we've either ignored, we've diminished? It's funny, I think we take this passage and we flip it around. For those of us that that struggle with being critical, we go, I gotta address the plank that it's in my brother's eye, and I just have the speck in mine. We make whatever we have going on in our lives small to be insignificant, but this plank that is detrimental to us, we we we've minimized. We think maybe nobody will notice. If we just stay busy finding the specks, finding the logs in other people's eyes, that nobody's gonna notice mine. And so he says, Why are you ignoring this thing? Uh, I think it's crazy too that we will rationalize the plank in our eye. We'll rationalize and we'll make sense of why we have the log in our eye, how we need the log in our eyes, how there's a reason I have the log in my eyes, instead of just addressing it. Can I give you a crazy example of the world we live in? I can't tell you how many times I hear things like this. That's just my personality. You know you're in charge of that, right? I scored a three on this personality test, so that's just how I am. You put in the answers for the personality test. Based off my birthday, I'm a unicorn scorpion, and so that means that we just have tempers. That was a jab at something else, in case you're wondering. There is no unicorn scorpions, but um we say things like because of the family I come from, because we're Italian, that's just how we are. Because we're Hispanic, that's just how we are. Because I'm white magic, that's just how we are. We we'll we'll we'll justify, we'll rationalize, we'll we'll we'll excuse the massive plank, something that's going on in our lives, and we'll just that's okay, that's an acceptable one. And so his whole point is is why is it that you can see the speck over here? But you're just completely ignoring this blind spot in your life? Why is it that you you minimize what's going on in your world and in your life and in your home? Can I give you uh just a sort of a silly example of this? But how many of you here have ever treated Zillow like it's just a pastime to just scroll and wander and look at things that are in the $10 million range? Anybody? You just look at $10 million homes? It's really fun when you get out of state because all of a sudden now you got 40 acres, you got a pond, you know, you're just doing your thing. But it's wild to me because I could be looking at a $10 million home, $20 million home, and I'll be like, who would have designed it like that? What an ugly color. Meanwhile, their laundry room, right, is like the size of our whole house, right? You know, and it's this incredible, beautiful thing. And what's so funny is we could be harsh and critical and nitpicky and make fun of and point at all these little things. But the truth be told, I have a half-finished paint project in my own place. I didn't want to do the cut-ins. So I got a ceiling that's painted all in the middle, and it's waiting for me to do the cut-ins all the way around it. It's been like that for a couple months. And still I could go on Zillow. I'd be like, that's so dumb that they did that. I would never lay out my pool like that. You don't even have a pool, you know? It's like, what am I doing? It's easy though. My point is, is it's easy to look at somebody else or something else and go, that's wrong here, that's wrong there, that's wrong there. And the truth is, I should be going, man, there's a lot of lint in the laundry room that I need to clean up. Man, I should finish that project. Man, there's this honeydew list that's a mile long that I haven't gotten to. It's just easier to look outward and not look inward. And so Jesus' question is, why is it that you see the speck? Well, I think it's because it's what we want to highlight. And why is it that we ignore the log in our own eye? Well, we it's just not as fun to point attention to that. We don't want to address that, and that's his whole point. Why are you allowing this? Why are you doing this? So I think it's critical that we get to the root cause of the issue of being judgmental and critical. Ask the question why. The second question that Jesus raises here in verse 4, he says, Or how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye when there is a log in your own eye? So everybody knows this, right? Jesus' profession before doing, you know, ministry on the road was what? He's a carpenter, right? So he gives this carpenter illustration here of that of sawdust and a log or a beam. And and the the picture is that to be super exaggerated, right? So this speck is just the tiniest bit of sawdust, and this beam is supposed to be a foundational beam, a load-bearing uh big piece of timber beam. And so he gives this sort of example so that people could get the picture of what it's like to have a little speck and then a massive beam, right, in their eye. And the funny thing I think about the beam is that there's no way for a log of that size to even fit into your eye socket, right? It's not even possible. It'd have to be like a cartoon-looking face, right? Where just a big beam is sticking out of your eye. And so everybody there would have almost been blown away. But think of this picture where somebody has a massive beam coming off of their face. I mean, it's huge, right? And when they move, it just swings sway out. And they come over to this person who's who's rubbing their eye, they got a little speck right here, and they're going like this. And the person with the big giant beam goes, Hey, do you want a hand with that? And it's like, well, if we look at the situation, I think that it makes more sense for the one with the speck in their eye to probably help the one with the beam in their eye. Because the speck is so insignificant, the speck is so much smaller, the beam is far more urgent to be dealt with. And so everybody there would have been given this great picture of this big beam and this little tiny speck. And Jesus' point is how can you actually help your brother? Or how could you possibly say to your brother, let me help you? You're disqualified to perform eye surgery if you are blind. Can we agree with that? It it would anybody here want to receive eye surgery from somebody who cannot see? No. Who are you? How are you qualified to help me if you have that going on? That's what Jesus' point here is you're disqualified. How could you even walk up to your wife? How could you approach her and say, hey, I think there's some things that need to be changed here? Uh, I'd like to address them with you. You got this, this, this, and this. Meanwhile, you got a whole bunch of baggage over here. You got a whole timber yard of just beams that are laying out. How can you approach them? Well, you you can't. Because the person with the speck of sawdust, they are not, and we need to get this, guys. The person with the speck of sawdust is not stupid. And we think that I can help them. That they they need my my critical insight, they need my discernment that I can bring to this situation, they need my wisdom and my my spiritualness, they need this, and we think that the person with the speck doesn't see the beam coming across our face. The person with the speck is not stupid. Everybody around you, I hate to tell you this. You have a blind spot. Everybody around you, it's not blind to them. It's only blind to you. That's the whole point of the blind spot. And you're like, wait a minute, everybody knows this about me except for me? Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to the conversation. We're glad you're here. You have a big log that hangs off your face. And you're like, I feel a little self-conscious now. That's a good little start right there. Because it stops you from worrying about the log on your neighbor's face. Because you gotta worry about yours. And so it there should be a pause here where we go, I I'm not really in a position to bring correction. Unless I've first dealt with this blind spot in my life. Because if that person can see it, they're not gonna want to receive from you. That's really what I'm trying to get out here. Is is we're disqualified from the person receiving from you if we haven't dealt with the log. They see it and it just disqualifies you from even having that conversation. Because who wants to hear correction from somebody who hasn't been taking their own medicine seriously? Who are you to to help? When the plane is going down, what is it? You gotta put the mask on yourself first, then help your neighbor. There's an order. First, you gotta re-remove this beam. You gotta deal with what's so obviously important before you can help somebody else. And you're like, but that's not fun. I'm like, I know, that's kind of the whole point of this. And so if we're unwilling to remove the log, uh, you're disqualified from helping the person. They're not going to be wanting to receive from you. And that's important for us to hear as we navigate marriage, parenting, life, co-workers, you name it. It's important to come to terms with that that if I don't position myself in a place where I'm first willing to take ownership of my shortcomings and and myself, I'm never going to be able to speak into somebody else and have true influence to be able to help them and assist them. If I constantly am in the attack position, I'm ignoring the blind spot of my life, uh I'm gonna be ineffective. They see it, they'll know it, and that's gonna make for some really great arguments. Verse five. Jesus uses some strong words here. He says, You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eyes. That's step one. You have to take the log out of your own eye. And then, so afterwards, then you'll see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Like I said, Jesus was speaking to uh a good number of the religious leaders, the Pharisees, and so he calls them a hypocrite, which means just an actor, somebody who's performing uh with a level of moral superiority. Meanwhile, they're they're concealing that which is really going on at the heart level, and they're diminishing people, putting people down. They're not speaking graciously and kindly and compassionately to them. They're making them feel uh judged, that they are guilty, and they can't live up to that of this hypocrite. So, what a dangerous word, I guess, that I would I would throw out to us that we could maybe oftentimes make light of this, and sometimes uh even too, just rationalize us being critical. But that's a strong word for Jesus to say, you hypocrite, you actor, you are a fraud. You have to first remove the log. If I could, just along those same lines, kind of put it in the context again of our home. I understand this is really difficult to bring correction in our home without being a hypocrite. Because the truth is, is in our home, nobody knows us best, better, right? And so anytime we want to bring correction or have a difficult conversation, whether it be a spouse or a kid, there's just so much ammunition that's built up on both sides. And so it could be difficult to approach them with like, hey, your attitude here, and they're like, My attitude, let me tell you about you 20 years ago, and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, right? Weapons of mass destruction come out, and you know, this thing blows up. You know? Your kids are very much aware of your own shortcomings. And so you could go to have this difficult conversation of bringing some correction that's very much needed and it's very timely, and you're gonna help them, and they're just ready to like, oh, I'm gonna bring up some stuff on you, mom. Ready to go. And so within the confines of our home, it it can feel very difficult to actually put this into practice because, again, there's just so much ammunition on both sides. And we want to, of course, avoid being hypocritical. We want to avoid being one that just is uh considered a fraud or an actor or a fake or just putting on a show. And so I can't stress this enough that the key to this is to first take out the log in your eye, like Jesus says. Because in removing the log from your eye, there's a humility that comes along with that. Acknowledging our own shortcomings just disarms the other person. Can I give you just I don't I don't have a real, for instance, but I'll give you an example of maybe a couple ways to start a conversation. You want to have a hard conversation uh with a spouse or a coworker or a neighbor. First, let's acknowledge anything that we've done wrong on our side. Hey, I see that I played a role in this. I was a part of this very much so. I need to take ownership for what I said, how I said it, the look I gave while I said it. And uh, I just like to take some responsibility in this. This is what was going on in my mind, and uh I could see how the way I communicated that and what I did communicate was wrong, inappropriate, whatever it might be. There's a level of, let me remove the log from my own eye in that. There's some power to the words, I'm sorry. I screwed up. There's just power in approaching a difficult conversation humbly. Hey, I I don't know uh really how to have this conversation, uh especially because you're well aware of my shortcomings. I just want to bring it to your attention. Guys, everything I just shared right there, that doesn't sound like our homes at all. You're like, that is just said on a stage. That would never be said in real life. What is normally said is do you know what your kids did? They are just like your father, and they are just like you're just like your father, and this is like this, and blah, blah, blah, boom. It's catastrophic. And so this passage, I get it, it's incredibly difficult to put into practice. It is really hard to not come off as a hypocrite. But the key to not being a hypocrite when we bring correction, when we have difficult conversations with one another, the very first thing is we remove the log out of our own eye. We acknowledge where we have gone wrong, where we have messed up, where we have fallen short. And in doing so, that gives you the humility, that gives you some credibility. When you first acknowledge and you've taken the steps to remove that, you now know what it is like to perform surgery on your eye, and you can then be beneficial and helpful to remove the speck from your brother's eye. But there first has to be that step of I'm going to acknowledge my own shortcomings in this. I'm going to acknowledge where I've gone wrong. I'm going to approach you humbly and graciously. You know, in uh just church in general, there's a plenty of hard conversations that I get to have, right? Where just something goes rogue, something goes wrong. In case you guys don't know this, churches have issues and stuff gets messed up sometimes, right? And so there's times where I get to have a difficult conversation or maybe a conversation that could be potentially confrontational. And we would often say, you know, if you're excited to have a confrontational conversation, you probably shouldn't have that conversation. You may not be properly equipped, properly in the right mindset, you might not be filled with the Holy Spirit in order to have that confrontational conversation, potentially confrontational conversation, right? If the person says, I really need to talk to so-and-so about something, but I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to break them. You have first hand acknowledge of it, you're the right person for it. Yeah, but I really don't want to, I don't want to, you're probably the right person to have that conversation. Because the person that's excited, the let's get confrontational, they're ready to blow up that conversation. They're ready to have this thing absolutely fall apart. And so when you approach something of just, I want to be humble in this, I want to be gracious in this, I want to be kind in how I approach this, I want to give them the benefit of the benefit of the doubt, I want to ask more questions and I want to give answers, I don't want to assume the worst. That is the person that is far more equipped and ready to remove the speck from their brother's eye. Why? Because they've done the work of removing their own log. They know what it's like to fall short, and so they're gonna approach this person graciously. Could I maybe just tell you something? You've messed up, I've messed up. Let us extend grace and mercy to one another like we've all messed up. Why are we holding each other to a standard that we both know we've failed? This perfection. We need the help and the assistance to call things out and to remove the speck, but it can be done in a gracious and humble and kind fashion. I said this um before, but again, the Pharisees were a big part of this whole conversation, and uh were there present, hearing these words. And Jesus has sort of this story where they are questioning him and they're trying to entrap him, ensnare him, and there's this woman who's caught in adultery, right? And it's truly one of the best examples that that goes alongside with this passage because in in John 8, if I could read you this, John 8 7, they've captured her. They want to know what they're gonna do. Can we stone her? Can we cast judgment upon her? In in John 8 7, and as they continued to ask him, he stood up and he said to them, Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her. Gosh, we got to hear that if you're judgmental and critical. If you are without sin, go ahead, let it rip. Warm up your arm, baby. Let's see a fastball that you could throw. If you're without sin, you are qualified to bring judgment. Jesus, once more, he bent down, wrote on the ground, but when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. And Jesus stood up and said to her, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? And she said, No one, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you. Go and from now on, sin no more. That is the picture of removing the speck. Go, sin no more. But man, you you don't need to get hit with the fastball of a stone right now. There's only one who gets to decide who is guilty and who is righteous, and that's Christ. And thankfully, we know that we can be counted as righteous because of Christ, not because of our own doing. And so, what I would just stress and push, and I believe what Jesus is really teaching, sorry, in Matthew 7, is to be those who are slow to be responding and to pull the speck from our brothers and sisters' eyes. Be slow to be running around looking for that bit of sawdust. Yes, be willing to do so, be ready to call one another, to remove sin, to let these things go, to press forward, to grow and develop, but but to not do so in a way that is unwise, that is foolish, one that is seeking to, I don't know, bring harshness, to not do so with arrogance or pride, but to do so because of an abundance of love. Because you too know what it's like to walk with a log in your eye, and you know the freedom of life it is when that is removed. And so your heart for that person is not that they would know all the wrong they've done, but that they would truly experience life on the other side of that. I think sometimes we just want people to know what's wrong with them. We don't want them to actually change. We want to know how we want them to know how stupid they are. But not to actually change and to get to experience what life can be like on the other side of it. So I'll wrap this thing up, put it in a nice bow. Uh two things to consider, and they're Jesus' questions. The first one is if we're judgmental and critical, ask the question of why. What's going on at the soul level uh in your life that has made you to be critical and harsh and condemning towards other people? And number two, uh, it would be how are you gonna do this? You know, his question is how how are you going to? Well, you have to take the log out of your own eye. And so for us as a church, us as individual families, the way to lead our home, to bring correction to our kids, to bring correction to our spouse, correction to people around us, the very first step is you gotta acknowledge the log in your own eye and deal with that. I didn't make the points, Jesus made the points. I just get to relay the points. Um that's what it says. That's what I gotta say about that. Amen. I don't know. I you know, everybody wants to get all super spiritual at the end and wrap it up into a nice thing and the song comes on. I don't got that. That's what it says. Don't be critical. Um, be helpful. But let me pray for you guys and uh we'll get out of here. I encourage you to go stop by Curse and Brie's table as well. But Dear Heavenly Father, Lord, we love you. We thank you for this opportunity to just open up your word and to hear from you. God, I pray that it does bring correction to those who love to bring correction to other people. Would we be those who uh receive from you, Lord, who are humble enough to acknowledge uh the log in our eyes? And Lord, would we be those that deal with it? Bring it before you and allow you to do a work in our lives. Lord, we thank you for this passage. I thank you for this series. Lord, I lift up just every family of this church. I pray that we would just fall more in love with you, Lord, and that our lives would reflect it. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.