The Virgo Reset: What to Release, What to Keep (06)

As summer fades into fall, Virgo season invites us to pause, refine, and reconnect. In this solo episode of The Becoming You Project, we talk about why this time of year is so powerful for shedding old roles, releasing perfectionism, and simplifying our lives — both inside and out.

Virgo is an earth sign ruled by Mercury, which means its energy is grounded, practical, and deeply connected to organization, healing, and discernment. Together, we’ll explore:

• How Virgo season mirrors the natural cycles of the year (from solstice to equinox)
• Why perfectionism is Virgo’s shadow — and how to replace it with presence and authenticity
• The connection between clutter (physical, emotional, and energetic) and the ways it keeps us stuck
• Practical tools for aligning with Virgo’s medicine, including grounding, breathwork, and journaling
• Powerful self-reflection questions to help you discern what’s no longer serving you and create space for what’s next

This season is about more than color-coded planners and new routines — it’s about reconnecting with your body, releasing what drains you, and making room for authentic growth as we move toward fall.

✨ If you’re ready to move from perfection to presence, this episode will give you both insight and simple practices to carry into your daily life.

Connect with Jess:

• Follow me on Instagram: @jesscallahan_
• Learn more about coaching and resources: www.jesscallahan.com
• Subscribe to The Becoming You Project wherever you listen to podcasts

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:05

Hey there, I'm Jess Callahan and this is The Becoming You Project. This is a podcast about reinvention and finding your voice and your purpose. It's about redefining success on your terms and small acts of rebellion against the systems that keep us overwhelmed. Because your path to becoming you has ripple effects that shift the world around you. So let's dive in. Hey guys, welcome back. Happy late August slash back to school slash end of summer. I don't know about you. I think that a lot of us approach this time of year really differently where some of us like go kicking and screaming out of summer and into like the more like structured fall. But for me, I really look forward to this time of year, maybe more so. It's like more of a than January is. I really look forward to the structure of back to school. I love the summer and it's just like celebratory vibe and the fluidity, the flow of like just kind of like living into whatever feels good. And I want to give my kids that feeling that like summer is just like this, you know, the freedom of summer. But I do really, really look forward to falling back into routine and schedules and just all of the structure that the back to school time of year brings. And it's not even just about refining schedules for me. I think it's also about reclaiming time for myself so that I can reconnect with myself. So I think in the summer, I lose myself a little bit because in that go with the flow, the kids are here, the kids are there, I'm running someone here. Does this person have enough, you know, friend time or structure time or are they having too much screen time? It's just like all of the managing. I'm really mostly just able to focus on like the bare minimum when it comes to my work so that I can, you know, just keep all of the balls in the air. But when this time of year comes back, I can really reconnect with myself, reconnect with what it is that like my body's craving, the balance. that my mind and my energy needs so that I can like hunker down into the like not just like schedules and routines but like the things that I want to create I'm making space for creativity to flow I'm making space in my schedule I'm just like peeling back all of these like small layers so that I can carve out time and energy and space for whatever it is that like really matters the most to me but I think like okay if I think back to like back to school time when I was going back to school I know it was a time that I loved to like get all of the new binders and the new colored pencils and color coordinated highlighters and the new planner that I didn't need because school gave us one but I wanted a new one And I think that's really also representative of how Virgo season can be. So... I think that there can be a tendency to overdo it. There can be a tendency to live into perfectionism. And so that's why I really wanted to have this conversation with you today, because Virgo season is a really powerful time of year. But every sign has different energy and characteristics that we really want to live into. And when we do embrace them, we can kind of go with the magic. of the energy of the season a little bit more, but each sign also has a shadow side. And in that shadow side for Virgo lives like perfectionism and this idea that like we can overwork and overdo it and overschedule ourselves, overprogram ourselves. And so today I really want to talk about Virgo season, what it is and how we can all find a little bit of balance in the season, making sure that we're still like carving out time for our ourselves and not just going like, you know, full force into the scheduling and the routines. Okay, so let's talk about the energy of Virgo season. So Virgo in the Zodiac is the only sign that's actually represented by a woman. Virgo energy is like, it's an earth sign. So it's really like grounding and practical. Virgos are about like refinement. So it's about like making small edits and adjustments and perfecting what truly matters without sliding into perfectionism. Virgo is about like routines and rituals. So what are the daily habits of your life that really like ground you and support you? Virgo is also tied to health and healing, especially holistic health, nervous system care, and mind-body awareness. It's about how we serve others in ways that nourish instead of deplete. It's also about simplification, so not overscheduling, making sure that we are decluttering our physical worlds, our energetic worlds, our emotional worlds, everything above and below. and letting go of excess, making sure that we are releasing what no longer serves us. So it's one thing to just identify what's not working anymore, but the idea of release can be really symbolic or ritualistic. It's something that sometimes we don't close these energy loops by actually releasing whatever it was that was holding us back. So Virgo is not just about the simplification, but it's It's also about release. Virgo season is about structure and organization. So aligning all of our spaces, inner spaces, outer spaces, digital spaces, physical spaces, it's about like making sure that they are aligned, making sure that they are simplified. And when we do that, we're able to like reduce the overwhelm, reduce those like peripheral things that just like keep our mind like pinging and living and distraction. I think one of my favorite ways to lean into the energy of Virgo season is through these like micro habits because it's not about like overhauling everything all at once because that actually like will have the opposite effect of what we're going for. If we're trying to reduce overwhelm in our lives and we decide that we're going to overhaul everything at once, what are we doing? We're overwhelming ourselves with this process of like overhauling the things that don't work, right? It's like a catch-22. So I love the idea of like practicing micro habits because if we can identify one small shift at a time, whether, you know, it's going to be different for all of us, whether that's daily, weekly, maybe it's like micro shifts for the season that you're, you know, you're just, there's one that you're trying to work on. Really like it's defined totally differently by each of us, but it's If you can just like bite off a little bit at a time, it's like that the power of 2%, right? If you just do like 2%, just do better by like 2% every day, do something different by 2% every day, like think about how quickly that adds up, how and how effectively like real change comes from that because you're creating these like small micro habits that you're able to then build on. I think micro habits allow us to like tweak and as we go, make shifts as we go. We don't have to get it perfect right away, right? We don't have to, you know, we're not going to go from chaos and overwhelm to like sudden ease. But when we make a commitment to these tiny little shifts, we see that change can be a lot more lasting. So it's with like Virgo season as we are, we're moving into September, we're moving towards fall. You can feel the like cool nights of summer that are that are starting to lead the way into fall and you feel summer like slipping away it's this time of year we've planted the seeds we've celebrated the fruits of our labor and as we prepare to go inward for the fall and winter the season is really all about shedding what's no longer working so i want to talk to you for a minute before we really dive into like the heart of the episode i want to talk to you for a minute about seasonal energy so our bodies are meant to go with the flow of the energy of the season. Have you ever noticed that summer feels really bold and celebratory and winter can feel more quiet and introspective? That's not by coincidence. We're not meant to live in perpetual output. We are not meant to live in maximum 24-7 output. I mean, if you think about it, that is what our society demands of us. That is you know, how we're taught to like find our value, find our worth, find our identity. A lot of times it's in our output and accomplishments, but we're not meant to produce around the clock. The quality of our work declines incredibly because we're favoring quantity over quality. We were really meant to like live in these ebbs and flows of output and input. Like how are we going to generate really great, like creative, inspiring, innovative work It's because we're giving ourselves these cycles of nourishment and rest. And so how do you know when it's time to rest and when it's time to push really hard? It happens because we tune in. And when we tune into our bodies, we're tuning into nature, to our own natural energetic rhythms and flows. And so there's cycles every day, every month, every year. And so for the most part, I'm talking about seasonal energy. right now, and a little bit about monthly energy, and I'll break all this down in a minute, but think about each day. The sun rises, the sun sets. One complete cycle of day and night, output and rest. Think about a monthly schedule. For women, we have a menstrual cycle that we can tap into, and there's different parts of the cycle that are more aligned with energy out versus energy in. On a seasonal cycle basis, the energy of the season goes something like this. So the winter solstice is when it's the first day of winter. It's the shortest day, the longest night. It starts a new sun cycle. This is the beginning of the seasonal calendar. And it's at this time in December around the winter solstice that we really start a period of deep introspection and regeneration. It's a time of quiet as the sun slowly returns slowly builds its power back in the sky then in the spring this is you know even think about like the planting cycles like spring is a time of planting seeds it's a time of hard work it's a time of you know planting seeds for future growth by summer then we celebrate what we're cultivating we nourish the seeds that we planted through like sunshine and we celebrate the sun at its maximum height where you know the longest day in June arrives. And then by autumn, we really start the process of harvest, harvesting the fruits of our labor, refining, you know, the work that we've done. We figure out what's working and what's not working in preparation for the next growing cycle. We just, we shed everything that no longer works. We shed through harvest. We shed through refining processes. And then it starts all over again in December with the winter solstice. So on an annual basis that's how the seasonal cycles work. the astrological calendar. So today we're talking about Virgo and the astrological calendar and the seasonal calendar, the solar calendar have a lot of overlap. They do start at different times of the year where the astrological calendar starts in spring, like around, you know, in March with Aries and the solar calendar, the seasonal calendar starts in December with the new sun cycle. But as the seasons shift through that cycle, I just walked you through much of the astrological energy mirrors what's going on in the seasons. So right now in the solar calendars, we prepare for autumn. We prepare to harvest. We prepare to evaluate the different things that are working and aren't working. We refine in preparation for that period of deep introspection. The same thing is happening in Virgo season. So we are, again, really tuning into practical shifts that we can make to make our processes work better. And processes might be in our work. They might be inner processes that allow us to peel back the layers. They might be inner processes that allow give us a more consistent platform for reconnecting with ourselves so that we can reshape identity, become who we are becoming, which is actually who we always were before all of these roles and expectations built up. So it's creating just that connection with ourselves so that we can constantly, continuously do the work of finding ourselves, connecting with ourselves so that we can become this most authentic truest most embodied version of us okay so I want to talk through like questions that we can ask ourselves during Virgo season that can help us live in the energy of the season, make the most of what the season is inviting us to do. Okay, the first question is, what roles are you ready to shed? A lot of the time we live with these roles that we accumulate and we didn't ask for them and they weren't necessarily like roles that we acquired maliciously or anything like that. They're roles that we, through some form of conditioning usually, they're roles that we've just acquired. And some of the roles we love, some of the roles we want, some of the roles we've fallen into because it's just how life went. And some of the roles, it's okay to love them, but still recognize that these roles need to change. So your roles might be mother, caregiver, family magic maker. They might be the organizer of the household chaos. Maybe it's being the organizer of a friend group, the event planner of a friend group. But the roles could also be deeper. Maybe you've fallen into the role of being the quiet one, but really there's a voice inside of you that's shouting, like, no, there's more of me here. There's more that I want to say. But I don't want to say it because everybody knows me as the quiet one, and I don't want to do something unexpected like share my voice when that's not who other people expect me to be. Maybe it's a role like a... Maybe it's a role associated with some other group. Maybe it's a religious role. Maybe you've lived your life in a religion, but you're kind of ready to break free from having those edges defined. So clearly in that role, and you want to start just experimenting or understanding what else is out there and available to you, but you're afraid of what will happen if you step out of that role. These roles, I think, can... I think a lot of the times we place them on ourselves because of conditioning that we have acquired. There's, you know, a lot of us live by like the shoulds. I should do that. I need to do this because I don't want to offend someone or I don't want to cause someone else discomfort or I don't want to do something that's unexpected for somebody else because it will challenge their view of me or, you know, they're going to rewrite what they think of me because I do this and I don't want to change of me because it's really important to me that everybody thinks really highly of me and so in time we sacrifice the parts of ourselves that maybe could have been blooming because we're conforming to these roles that we've been holding on to and like when we start to think about it maybe we don't even know why we're holding on to the roles maybe it really is just that like we don't realize that we are doing it for somebody else's comfort and like they might not even want us to be doing it for their comfort but it's just it's how we just like manage this like balance of keeping everyone sort of as like happy as we can and not rocking the boat and and what's going to happen if we do take a step into the unknown and outside of our comfort zone so um yeah so i challenge you to really think about like what would happen if you evaluated the roles that are defining you, maybe limiting you, and think about whether or not they're still serving you or what it might look like if you shed that role or changed the role. You don't have to tear everything down and walk away, but what happens if you just challenge your own viewpoint on releasing something? I think a lot of the times we jump right to like doomsday is going to come and the world will end if I no longer do this. But what if it doesn't? And if that is the first thought that comes across your mind, just dive into that with a little bit more curiosity. Ask yourself like, what really would happen? I mean, maybe it would be an inconvenience to somebody else, but by me shedding this role, And the relief that I'll feel, the space that it will create for something new to come in, I'm sacrificing that right now for somebody else's temporary discomfort. Is it worth it? So yeah, I hope you'll just take a closer look at that one. It's a hard one because it really does cut deep at who we are and how we've defined ourselves, how we've shaped our identity for so long. But I think that that's one of the most significant changes that Virgo season invites of us. And going back to micro habits, maybe this isn't something that you tackle all at once. Maybe for now, you can just start by making a list. Free write a list of all of the roles that you feel like you live within. Maybe they don't define you. Maybe they do. Maybe they aren't part of your identity, or maybe they are your entire identity right now. But just write down all of the roles and pick one to start with. Pick one to just lean into a little bit more with curiosity, asking yourself, like, what would this look like if it shifted? And Is there anything that I'm sacrificing by continuing to conform to this role? And is it worth the sacrifice? Okay, the next question to ask yourself is, where am I getting stuck in loops of perfectionism? Each season and sign in the zodiac have a shadow side, and Virgo energy in its shadow clings to perfection. But Virgo season also teaches us about discernment over perfection. And it encourages us to figure out what truly matters to us and let go of what doesn't. I think, you know, I found in time, like, the more that I'm aligned with my purpose, the more that I know myself, the more that I can stand confidently in who I am, what matters to me, what it is that I want to do in my world, the more that I'm able to release perfectionism. Because I think sometimes when we don't have that, like, real really strong grounding into who we are and what we stand for and what we want out of life. I think that when we don't have that, it's easier to cling to the work that we're producing, whatever it is that we're putting out into the world, whether that's in the form of work or raising our kids or running a household. I think that we really cling to that output As the thing that defines us and so we want it to be perfect But the more you know yourself the more you connect with your true self the more you know What is purposeful for you the more you're able to release perfectionism because you know that The mistakes don't define you the mistakes make you whole and they make you human and they make you authentic and they make you relatable and so As you live on this journey, as you travel this journey home to your truest self, pay attention to that. Pay attention to the role that perfectionism plays and maybe lean into it a little bit more. Is this level of perfectionism something that I can modify or recalibrate? I'll share with you. I have no clue how much background noise is showing up on this podcast right now, but I'm recording this from my car just down the road from my house as my four-year-old naps during one of my husband's calls. And it's not perfect. I have no clue if I'm going to get through this whole episode sitting in my car. And as I was trying to figure out if I had time to record, I was like, well, if I don't finish it, then I'm going to have to start all over again, and it's going to be wasted time. And I was like, well, why am I going to have to start all over again? And deep down, I'm like, well, because the sound of sitting in a car is going to sound totally different than the sound of like if I finish recording from my office. So, you know, I don't want to like create that disruption mid-podcast because that would be really annoying for you. And then I was like, okay, I am sorry if that is really annoying for you, but I feel really strongly about like producing this podcast every week and sharing these messages. And if I don't take advantage of the time now, I might not have another chance this week because, you know, back to school season for us is a little bit wonky right now. You know, my big kids are off to elementary school and middle school, but the four-year-old is still home on a rolling start for her pre-K, which is like my least favorite invention of all time. But she's, you know, she's still home and there's not camps this week or, you know, any of that. So it's just, we just make do with what we have. And so I No, it's not going to be perfect, but it is what it is. And so that was, as I continue to release perfectionism on my own journey, I am definitely a recovering perfectionist. This is something that I just, I knew I needed to do for myself because I Yeah, I just it's something that I need to be OK with it not being perfect. And even as I like picked where I was going to pull over to record, there's like cars that are driving past me a little bit more quickly than I wanted to. And I was like, I got to move the car. And I started to like put the computer down and shift the car back into gear to go find somewhere else to record. And I'm like, no, like just with where I'm like parked, it's going to take me an extra like five minutes to find parking. And then what if it's not perfect there because the car next to me is making a bunch of noise or there's kids screaming. So anyway, here we are in the imperfection of sitting in my car recording a podcast while my four-year-old naps. This is just what we're doing. So that's the layer of perfectionism that I am releasing today. Okay, here's the next question. So what clutter, whether it's physical, emotional, or energetic, am I ready to release? So we all know clutter can be really distracting. Like, okay, have you ever had a situation where you're going to like tidy your family room and you pick up the blankets, you pick up the pillows, put the remote away, you put the shoes away in the garage, and then you notice that the garage shoes are a disaster. And so you start to line the garage shoes up and then Before you know it, you're cleaning out the garage, you're posting stuff on Facebook Marketplace, and you're, you know, collecting bags to be donated, and then tidying up the family room turned into tidying up the garage, but now you have to clean out your car because you have to make room for all of the bags of donation that you just created, right? So it's just this, like, ripple effect that clutter can have where one thing leads to the other leads to the other, and you're, like, quick-forwarding project has now turned into an entire afternoon spent decluttering. And of course, I feel that it is important to declutter everything. But when you let things build up to the point that there is just clutter everywhere, it can be really distracting. And all of those hopes and plans or whatever it is that you had for that afternoon, maybe it was just that you had planned to put your feet up and rest for an hour because you haven't had a So... Clutter, like physical clutter like that works the same way as like energetic clutter and emotional clutter. So like when you're carrying too much, when you're not processing situations fully, like say you have an argument with a friend and you're left with just this like really unsettled feeling afterwards, but you don't process it, you just like compartmentalize it and you move on. Those, like that's like the energetic clutter, the emotional clutter that you carry with you. When you're not releasing these old like emotional and energetic patterns, it lives in your body the same way that this like clutter lives in our houses. So stuck energy can show up as like a bad mood, increased agitation or frustration. It can turn into these like self-limiting beliefs and all of the different ways that we hold ourselves back. and I won't go down this road too deep, but emotional clutter, energetic clutter, these things, when we let them build up too long, these are actually the things then that later manifest into chronic tension, headaches, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, IBS. So really, These are the habits that it's really important to get into breaking right now. It's really important to get into like cleansing the energetic clutter, the emotional clutter on a regular basis so that you're not constantly getting like distracted or going down these rabbit holes that you might not even realize you're going down because you're carrying too much clutter. So like some of the ways that you can do that is getting into a regular journaling practice so that you can release whatever it is that you are carrying in your mind. on a more regular basis. Or when you notice that you're in a bad mood or something feels unsettled or unresolved, you can take a minute to just ask yourself, why am I feeling that? What's coming up for me right now? What do I need to resolve? I have this compartmentalization box. I have in the past been the queen of compartmentalization. It's not healthy. It's not something we should be doing because when you compartmentalize, you should be it's okay to like tuck something aside for a little while but then you have to come back to it and revisit it and process it and that's not something that I ever did I just you know compartmentalized and like tucked it into this like closet in the back of my mind and eventually the closet became the room became the house you know and eventually everything was bursting and it all just falls apart so so it's okay to compartmentalize as long as you have a process of coming back to it. And so I have this like box. And when there's a situation or something going on that, like, I don't have the time to process at the moment, I don't have the energy, the capacity to process it. I will write it down on a little note card and I put it in this box. And then every few days I open the box and I'm like, okay, what are the situations that I really need to work through right now? And it might be a journaling thing. It might really be that tucking it away was enough. It wasn't something that I really needed to dive into because in the process of tucking it away and writing it down, I was able to sort of name how I felt about it, whether it was like an emotion that was coming up. And I didn't feel any like inner agitation around whatever the situation was. And so then I can kind of toss that one aside. So however it is that you tend to, the emotions and the situations that come up, that need to be resolved and processed I encourage you to come up with a routine to sort of Dive into those things to give them a little bit more of your thought because once you start moving those through like your mind, your body, your energy body, you'll start to realize that space is opening up for new things to come in. Okay, the next one is how can I strengthen my roots? So Virgo season is all about the subtle work, the hidden work, the undercover work, the small habit changes, these micro habits that make a really big difference in the long run. And a friend of mine recently told the story of the bamboo roots and how when you plant a bamboo seed for years, nothing grows above the surface. For years, the root system is growing and spreading and strengthening and but again nothing is happening above the surface it can be really frustrating because you plant a seed you expect growth you expect some sort of like fruits of your labor but all of the work is happening underground all of the work is happening below the surface it's hidden but then when the bamboo seed finally starts to sprout it shoots up you know feet feet right away it gets really tall really quickly but the only way that it's able to do that with stability is because of this massive root system that it's been growing for so long. And so I think that that's a really important story to remember this time of year. And I don't even know if she realizes how strong that connection is to like Virgo season. It was a message at the beginning of my yoga class and it was beautiful and powerful and so relevant for Virgo season because the work of Virgo is it's in that like the foundations it's in the root system it's in strengthening the habits and routines so that when you're ready to grow you're really ready to grow you're just you're ready to sprout and bloom and and you can do it maybe it won't feel quickly to you at that point but it happens fast when your roots are strong growth can happen quickly Okay, the last one that I want to talk to is... Where in my body do I feel out of alignment? And what is this asking me to pay attention to? So as I mentioned before, Virgo season is linked to health and healing, but not in an overhaul your entire workout routine and diet kind of way, but more about tuning in to your body, to your nervous system, and figuring out what it's craving in the moment, figuring out what would feel nourishing right now. It's It's really just like a nudge to reconnect with your body so that you can, again, start to hear the cues that your body is sending you. Your body is always communicating with you. It is always trying to tell you what it is that it needs. Your intuition communicates with you through your body. And so when you reestablish that reconnection, you're able to tune into what it is that your body is actually craving for health and physical balance, but also So you're able to hear whatever it is that your higher self, inner knowing, intuition are trying to communicate to you. So this isn't about rigid wellness routines. It's really about listening to the wisdom of your body. And some of the ways that you can drop in to establish that reconnection are through that deep breathing, deep belly breathing. When you take that deep breath all the way down to the base of your belly and you feel that like, release it's the activation of your vagus nerve and your vagus nerve activates your parasympathetic nervous system rest and digest and you know when we're living in a constant state of stress and overwhelm as so many of us do right now it's easy for us to get stuck in the sympathetic state of our nervous system so fight or flight we don't even realize it a lot of us end up in functional freeze and deep breathing is really like the gateway to reconnecting with your body and making sure that you are activating the parasympathetic nervous system so that you're actually shifting into rest and digest. But a couple of other ways that you can do it is like through micro moments of safety. Again, these small little habits, but your nervous system craves like comfort and safety. So what are some small ways that you can make your body just feel safe, feel comfortable so maybe it's not about like depleting your nutrients through some restrictive diet but maybe it's about going inward and being like what is the like the balance nutritional balance routine that my body is craving right now another way that we can do it is through meditation and after this episode I am going to actually post a bonus episode meditation that will be a body scan meditation and so it's one way that you can just like reconnect with your body You can do it daily if you want. You can do it just once, but it will be there for you to use as you need. But it's just another way to encourage that like reconnection with your body so that you can start to hear its cues again. All right, so... There's Virgo season for you guys. I hope that you are able to really like lean into the medicine of Virgo season, which is like the discernment to know what's right for you and what's not right for you anymore. The introspective nature of figuring out what simplification looks like for you. The willpower to create micro shit to not you know jump to doing the whole thing at once but to just like create and stick to these micro moments of change whatever it is that you are needing right now being able to tune in and listen and hear the cues of your body and make those like the micro shifts and and the release of Virgo season so not just like recognizing that something needs to change but actually going through the process of releasing whatever that is releasing whether it's like an energetic release a physical release whatever it is I'm seeing that whole like energy loop through to the end so that you're able to create the space and when you do create the space through release and you simplify, you'll start to see that like clarity will come through. Your path will feel more, more clear, more inspired, more in flow because you've been peeling back these layers. And, you know, it just starts with one micro habit and eventually they build onto each other and it becomes easier. But I hope that you are able to really just like lean into this, like this time of year where we invite structure and routine. But we stay really gentle with ourselves. We nourish ourselves. And we don't forget to celebrate ourselves and, you know, all that we've done on our journey, all that we've been, all that we're becoming. And thanks for joining me. And I'll see you guys next week.

UNKNOWN: 39:32

Bye.