Leaders: Striving Disconnects Your Work From Trust In God

There’s a kind of “success” that looks holy on the outside and hollow on the inside. We talk about the sin most leaders rarely repent of because it gets rewarded: striving. It builds platforms, grows ministries, and earns applause, but it also trains your body for urgency and your heart for control until peace feels unfamiliar. If you’ve been carrying pressure like everything depends on you, this conversation puts language to what you’ve been feeling.

We draw a sharp line between working and striving: striving is labor disconnected from trust. Through Genesis we trace how work is part of original design, while striving enters through disconnection and becomes “painful toil.” Then we slow down over Matthew 11: Jesus doesn’t invite us to a better system, but to Himself. Rest is not something we take after everything is finished; it’s something He gives. And the yoke isn’t extra weight, it’s alignment, shared movement, and learning a new rhythm.

From Psalm 127 we confront anxious toil and the emptiness of building from the wrong source, even when results are real. We also explore the paradox of Hebrews 4, “be diligent to enter rest,” and what it means for high-capacity leaders whose biggest fear isn’t rest, but losing control. The episode closes with grounded steps you can practice right now: stop saying yes to everything, honour limits, stop measuring yourself by output, and relearn how to sit still so you can live from clarity instead of pressure.

If you want to go deeper, we also point you to The Shepherd’s Tent as a blueprint for a life rooted in rest. Subscribe for more, share this with a leader who’s running on fumes, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your week.

Transcript

The Sin We Applaud

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There is a sin that most leaders never repent of. Not because it's hidden, but because it's rewarded. It gets applauded. It gets affirmed. It gets called faithfulness. It builds churches. It grows platforms. It produces income. And if you're not careful, it will quietly destroy your soul while everybody claps for the results. It's not lust. I'm not talking about lust. I'm not talking about greed. It's not even pride in the way that we normally define it. It's striving. And the dangerous part about striving is this you can spend years doing it and never realize you're outside of the rhythm of God. Because striving doesn't always look like rebellion. Sometimes it looks like responsibility. Sometimes it looks like leadership. Sometimes it looks like doing what needs to be done when no one else will do it. But underneath it all, there is a subtle belief operating in your heart. If I don't carry this, it won't get done. If I don't push, it won't move. If I don't make this happen, it won't happen. And that belief is the birthplace of striving. So today I want to talk to you honestly, not as someone throwing stones, but as someone who's lived this, because there is a difference between working and striving. There is a difference between building and carrying something you were never designed to carry. And if you don't learn that difference, you will build a life that looks successful on the outside while slowly draining the life you have on the inside. So let's define this clearly because if we don't define it right, we'll try to fix the wrong problem. Striving is not simply working hard. Striving is not being disciplined. Striving is not showing up consistently. Striving is labor disconnected from trust. Let me say that again. Striving is labor disconnected from trust. See, in the New Testament, one of the key words that's used for exhausting labor is the Greek word kapaio. Okay. And it literally means to labor to the point of weariness, to be exhausted from effort, to feel depleted from carrying something. Guys, this is not healthy work. This is not purposeful building. This is toil that drains the life out of you. And Jesus uses this exact word in Matthew chapter 11 when he says, Come to me, all who labor. He's not talking to lazy people. He's talking to people who are working hard but are still exhausted. He's talking to people who are producing but not experiencing rest. He's talking to leaders, people just like you and me. Now, contrast that with another word in scripture, which is ergon. And this word simply means to work, means deed. It can translate as assignment. Okay. This is the kind of work that flows from purpose. This is the kind of work that flows from alignment. This is the kind of work that doesn't drain you because it's connected to something deeper than you. So right away we see something important. God is not against work, he's against work that comes from the wrong source. So if you want to understand anything in scripture, you have to go back to the beginning because Genesis shows you what was intended and what went wrong. Before the fall, man worked. Adam had responsibility. He was told, tend the garden. He was given authority, he was given an assignment. He was, and inside of that assignment, he was not striving. There was no anxiety, there was no pressure, there was no fear of failure, because his work flowed from relationship. Then sin enters the picture and everything shifts. If you look at Genesis chapter 3, verse 17, uh, this is what the scripture says cursed is the ground because of you. Through painful toil you will eat from it all the days of your life. And that phrase painful toil comes from a Hebrew word that means pain, sorrow, or labor mixed with grief. So now we can see the shift clearly here, okay? Work existed before sin. Striving entered after sin. And striving is not a part of your original design, it's a byproduct of disconnection. So when you feel constant pressure, when you feel like everything depends on you, when you feel like you can't stop, you're not just tired. You're operating from a system that was never meant to sustain you. Now, here's where it gets personal because most people don't see striving as a problem. They see it as their advantage. You learn early in life. If I work harder, I get ahead. If I push more, I win. If I carry more, I succeed. And for a while, that works. It produces results, it gets you recognition, it opens doors. So what I see a lot of people doing is they start to build their identity around it. You become the one who shows up, the one who makes it happen, the one who carries the weight. And over time, you stop asking if it's sustainable because it's working. But here's the problem just because something produces results doesn't mean it produces life. Man, I need to say that again. Just because something produces results doesn't mean it produces life. You can build something externally while eroding internally. And that's where many leaders find themselves. From the outside, everything looks strong. But internally, there's pressure, there's anxiety, there's exhaustion that you can't explain, and you don't even know how to stop because this is the only way you've ever known how to function. And I can talk about this very well because I'm talking about my own story here. But see, this is where Jesus steps into the conversation. Not with a suggestion, not with a productivity hack, but with a completely different way of living. So here's kind of like what I want to paint up. Let me paint this picture. Go straight to Jesus, because if we don't anchor this in him, we'll turn rest into another idea instead of a way of life. So if you got your Bibles, turn to Matthew chapter 11. I'm going to look at verse 28, 29, and 30. Okay. This is a very familiar passage for those of you that know the word. It says, Come to me, all you who are who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I'm gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. I want you to look at this. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Now, most people, like I said, have heard that verse, but very few have actually entered into it. Because we read it, but we don't slow down enough to understand what he's actually saying. So I want to break it down piece by literally just piece by piece. Okay. So come to me. This is where everything begins. Not come to a system, not come to a better schedule, not come to a strategy. Come to me. Friend, rest is not found in changing your environment. Rest is found in reconnection. Because, friend, striving is not just about what you're doing, it's about what you're disconnected from. You can rearrange your schedule all day long, but if your heart is still disconnected, you will recreate the same exhaustion, just in a different form. Then it moves on to say, all who are who labor and are heavy laden. Guys, that Greek word there that we talked about earlier for labor, okay, Jesus adds another phrase on top of that Greek word, which is heavy laden or for tezo, okay? And it means to load up, to overburden, to pile weight onto someone. So now we see two dimensions. You have the one Greek word for laboring, which means internal exhaustion from effort. Then you see the other Greek word, which is being burdened by external weight placed upon you. And here's what's powerful: Jesus is speaking to people who are both exhausted from what they're doing and overwhelmed by what they're carrying. Friend, that's the modern leader. You're not just tired from effort, you're weighed down by expectation, expectations from people and family and business and ministry, even your own internal standards. And Jesus says, I see that. And then what does Jesus say? If you come to me, I will give you rest. Now, this is where most people misunderstand the promise. The word give here is a Greek word that means to refresh, to cause to cease, to bring into a place of calm. This is not, I'll give you a break. This is I will bring your entire being into a different state. And here's the key: you don't take this rest, he gives it. Friend, this is not a rest that you can just take. This is a rest that Jesus himself gives to you, which means you don't earn rest, you receive rest. And that alone, that whole idea right there, confronts striving totally. Because striving says, I'll rest when everything's done. But Jesus says, you rest before anything is done. Now, here's where most people get tripped up. Jesus doesn't stop at, I will give you rest. He immediately says, take my yoke upon you. And this confuses people because they think, wait, I thought rest meant removing the burden. But a yoke is not about adding weight, it's about alignment. So the Greek word there is zygos, okay? And it's a yoke, like if you're looking at the picture of what a yoke is, a yoke was a wooden beam placed over two oxen so that they could move together in the same direction. Now catch this. A yoke doesn't make the work heavier, it makes the work shared and aligned, which means Jesus is not removing responsibility, he's removing misalignment. Now, here's the revelation. You're not tired because you have responsibility. You're tired because you're trying to carry it alone. Or worse, you're carrying things he never asked you to carry. So when Jesus says, take my yoke upon you, he's saying, stop moving independently. Stop trying to control everything. Come into rhythm with me and watch me help you carry the weight. Then he says, learn from me. And the word learn there is a Greek word that means to learn by experience, to be formed through relationship, to grow through ongoing connection. Guys, this is not instant. This is not a one-time prayer. This is a restraining of your entire way of living. Because if you've spent years of striving like I have, you built patterns, thinking patterns, emotional patterns, behavioral patterns. And now Jesus is saying, I'm going to teach you a different way. Why? Because he says, For I am gentle and lowly in heart. Guys, this part is so important because most people don't struggle with rest. They struggle with how they see God. They think he's so demanding, he's frustrated, he's waiting for them to get their crap together. But Jesus describes himself as gentle and lowly. That word gentle there means meek, controlled strength, safe to approach. That word lowly means humble, accessible, not distant or harsh. So Jesus is saying, you don't have to strive to come to me. Now, let's be honest. You've heard this before. You've read these verses before. So why haven't you entered into rest? It's not because you don't want to, it's because something in you still believes striving works better. And this is where the real tension is because striving gives you control, predictability, it gives you a sense of identity. But rest requires surrender, trust, letting go. And for high capacity leaders, that feels really risky because if you let go, what if everything falls apart? That's the real fear, guys. Not rest, but the loss of control. So we're defining here the invitation, but now we've got to confront the real root. Okay. We've got to go deeper in this. So here's why here's why we've got to get to the root, because if you misdiagnose the problem, you'll spend your life trying to fix symptoms. Striving is not a time issue. It's not a schedule issue. It's not even a workload issue. It is a trust issue. Guys, you strive when you believe, whether consciously or subconsciously, that it all depends on me. Friend, that belief is subtle. It doesn't always sound prideful. Sometimes it sounds responsible. Sometimes it sounds like I just care about doing things well, or I don't want to drop the ball, or I have a lot on my shoulders. But underneath it all, friend, is a deeper belief. The deeper belief is this if I don't hold this together, it won't hold. And that belief is the engine of striving. Now, let's go to another scripture that most people quote, but very few actually live. If you turn in your Bibles to Psalm 127, okay, two verses here. They're so powerful. I put this in my book, The Shepherd's Tent, by the way. Uh, if you hadn't got a copy, you need to do that. Psalm 127, verse 1 and 2 say, Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and you go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil. Now let's stop right there, okay? Three times in two verses, you see the phrase in vain. See, the Hebrew word is shav, okay, and it means empty, worthless, deceptive, producing nothing of substance. Okay. So God is saying something very different, okay? He says, God is saying, you can be working hard and accomplishing nothing of eternal weight. Friend, that should sober you, okay? Because striving produces activity, but not necessarily fruit. Friend, think about what he says there. You rise early and go late to rest. Friend, that's hustle culture. That's the grind, that's the badge of honor in today's world. Early mornings, late nights. And what does God say to all that? That can be completely empty. Not because work is wrong, but because the source is wrong. He says, you're literally eating the bread of anxious toil. Guys, that phrase is so powerful because anxious toil in the Hebrew is tied to the word itzabon, which means, again, painful, sorrowful, um, painful, sorrowful labor. So what are you consuming then? Anxiety. You're feeding on pressure, you're sustaining yourself on stress. And over time, that becomes normal to you. You don't even realize how unnatural it is anymore. So that being said, let's go a little deeper because you don't break free from striving by adjusting your habits. You break free from striving with something in when when something inside of you dies. And I want to be very specific, okay? The thing that has to die is your belief that you are the source. Man, this is gonna be big for you, okay? Not your calling, not your work ethic, not your desire to build something meaningful, your internal belief that it all depends on me. Because as long as that belief is alive, striving will always come back. You might manage it for a season, you might take a break, you might slow down, but you will eventually return to it. Because it's not a behavior issue, it is a belief issue. Now, let me show you something. Okay, look at the life of Jesus. He had more responsibility than anyone who has ever lived. He carried people, he carried purpose, he carried pressure, he had expectations put upon him, and yet he was never in a hurry. He was never anxious, he was never overwhelmed. Why? Because he never operated from the illusion of control. Man, years ago, my spiritual father gave me this verse in a meeting one time when I was really coming out of busyness in the ministry. And it was John chapter 5, verse 19. And it literally said Jesus says this the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. Friend, that is alignment. Friend, that is rest. He wasn't trying to make things happen, he was responding to what the father was already doing. Guys, this is where you've been living differently. You've been initiating everything, carrying everything, controlling everything, and then wondering why you're exhausted. Friend, it's because you're operating outside of God's original intent. Now, let's be honest again. Rest doesn't feel natural to most leaders. It feels uncomfortable, it feels unproductive, it feels irresponsible. Why? Because literally striving has trained our nervous system. We're used to the pressure, urgency, constant movement. Guys, so when we slow down, many times it feels wrong, not because it is wrong, but because it's so unfamiliar. See, here's the deeper truth. Striving keeps you distracted. Rest actually makes you aware. So when you slow down, you start to feel unresolved emotions, internal tension, questions that you've been avoiding. And that's why many people avoid rest. Because rest doesn't just restore you, it reveals you. And I'm going to say this again. The reason why many people avoid rest is because rest doesn't just restore you, it reveals you. So let's travel over to Hebrews chapter four, because this is where scripture gets very direct. If you go to Hebrews chapter four, verse 11, it says, Let us therefore strive to enter into that rest. Okay. There's that's a big paradox again. Strive. Wait a second, Mark. I thought we were talking about um the sin of striving. And now we've got a verse that says, strive to enter rest. Well, that word strive there in Hebrews chapter 4, verse 11, is spedazo. Okay. And it literally means to be diligent to make every effort. So what are we putting effort toward? Not doing more? Yeah, not doing more, not producing more. No, what we're really entering into, or what we're really putting effort towards, is entering into rest. The answer is not doing more. That's never going to get you rest. I can promise you, if you try and try and try to do more and more and more, and you think one day I'm going to get to this place where I can relax, it's never coming. Not producing more, because you're listening I've I've written four books. I've preached in some of the biggest churches in America and literally traveled all over the world. Producing more doesn't scratch the itch. So what should our effort be put into? Entering into rest. And why is this so hard for you? Because literally everything in you wants to do the opposite. You want to fix things, you want to solve things, you want to move things forward. And God is saying your breakthrough is not in more effort. Your breakthrough is Is in surrender. Now we've kind of got to the root. We've identified what has to die, but now we've got to go a little bit deeper. So here's the question sitting in the room. Okay. If striving dies, what replaces it? Because a lot of leaders hear this message and they think, so am I supposed to stop building? Am I supposed to slow everything down? Am I supposed to do less? And the answer is not necessarily. I mean, I got a whisper that it was time to shut everything down. And God, by the grace of God, raised up a businessman that said he heard the voice of Holy Spirit to pay my salary and allow me to do that. But that's not necessarily everybody's word because rest is really not about doing less. Rest is about doing from a different place. Let me say that again. Rest is not about doing less, it's about doing it from a different place. When striving dies, you don't become passive. You actually just become more aligned. Instead of forcing things, you start discerning things. Instead of pushing doors open, you start walking through the ones that are already open. Instead of carrying everything, you start responding to what actually what's actually yours to carry. That's what Psalms 23 describes when he says, He leads me. Not I figured it out, or not, I will, I'm gonna make it happen. He leads me. Guys, that's a completely different life. So you've heard me use this word before, but I'm gonna use it again. We got to talk about rhythm because God operates in rhythm. Guys, creation itself reveals day and night. It was first the evening, then the morning, season, seed time, and harvest. Everything God does has a pace, has a rhythm. See, striving ignores pace. Striving lives in urgency. Striving says now, faster, more, but rhythm says there is a time for everything. Ecclesiastes chapter three says, uh verse one, to everything there is a season. That word season in Hebrew means an appointed time, a divinely set moment. So here's the shift, guys. Striving tries to force timing, rest honors timing. So why this matters for you, the one I'm talking to, leaders that I'm talking to, because a lot of your exhaustion is from trying to produce something out of season. You're trying to harvest when it's time to plant, you're trying to expand when it's time to root. You're trying to move when God is inviting you to sit still. And when you fight rhythm, you create friction. And friction produces exhaustion. So, like every podcast, I don't think it's it's it's right to just speak on scripture and revelation and not make it really practical, okay? Because this can't just stay in the realm of theory for you. So if you're going to step out of striving, there are some things that have to shift. Number one, okay, I want you to hear this. You have to learn how to stop saying yes to everything. Striving says, if it's opportunity, I take it. But rest says, if it's aligned, then I'll walk in it. Guys, not everything that grows you is meant for you. And one of the biggest reasons leaders burn out is because they don't discern, they just accept whatever comes in front of them. Okay. Number two, you need to learn how to honor your limits. See, striving ignores limits. Rest respects design. Friend, you were not created to carry everything, to fix everything, to be everywhere. Even Jesus Christ Himself withdrew from the masses. Even Jesus stepped away. Even Jesus said no. So who told you that you're supposed to live without limits? Guys, even the Garden of Eden, when God created the most perfect place on the planet, the Garden of Eden, He still put boundaries, four rivers that set the boundaries of the Garden of Eden. So, friend, if there's boundaries in the Garden of Eden, there's nothing wrong with living a life of limits. Number three, you got to stop measuring yourself by output. And this one is huge, and this one was a tough one for me to learn. See, striving ties your identity to production. But rest roots your identity in relationship. So instead of asking, what did I accomplish today? You start asking, was I actually aligned today? Like when I was working on stuff, was it aligned with what I know God is saying for me to do in the season? Because, friend, you can accomplish a lot, especially with today's technology and and and the opportunities in front of us, like we can literally accomplish a lot, but still be completely out of alignment. Okay. Number four, you have to learn how to sit still again. Guys, this is one of the hardest things for high capacity leaders is setting still, not producing, not fixing, not moving, just being. Because most people don't realize this. If you can't sit still, then you're not in control. Something else is driving you. You need to, you need to really like that this this will be very hard for you. I always tell people, people say that they want to get alone and pray and be alone with God and do spiritual retreats and all that. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know if you really do. Because when you do make the decision to sit still, you find out in that moment. Again, rest doesn't just restore you, it reveals you. So when you sit still, friend, that's where you're gonna find out who's really in control. Guys, you're gonna learn probably something else is driving you. Now, let me show you the outcome, okay? Because this is not just about relief. This is the I I want this podcast episode to really be like a moment that catapults you into transformation. Because when you enter into rest, clarity increases, pressure decreases, decisions become simpler, peace literally becomes normal. And here's the powerful part: you actually become more effective because now you're not wasting energy on things that aren't yours. You're focused, you're aligned, you're moving with precision. This is what Hebrews 4 calls entering into the rest of God, not visiting it, not touching it occasionally, but learning to live from it. So let me talk to you directly, okay, for a moment, just for a moment. You don't have a time problem, you don't have a capacity problem, you don't even have a responsibility problem. Guys, you have a trust problem. And until that gets settled, striving will always feel necessary. Because if you don't trust that God is leading, you will feel responsible to control everything. And guys, you trying to sit in the seat of God and control everything will always lead you to exhaustion. So, friend, let me just say this. You don't enter into rest by slowing your life down. That can be a part of it, that can certainly be a part of it, but you enter rest when something inside of you dies. The version of you that believes it all depends on me. Guys, because the moment that belief dies, everything changes. Peace stops being something that you chase and it becomes something that you live from. Clarity stops being something that you search for and becomes something that you walk in. And your life finally starts to feel like it fits. So, guys, if this episode hits you, I'm asking you, don't rush past it. Sit with it because that tension that you feel right now while you were hearing me talk, that's the invitation. And if you need a place to walk this out, guys, that's why we created the shepherd's tent. That's why the shepherd's tent exists. Not to give you more to do, but to help you come out of striving and into the life that you were actually designed to live. And friend, I just want to say this very simply. If you want to go deeper into this journey, I want to introduce you to my book, The Shepherd's Tent. Okay. It lays out a blueprint for the very life that I'm talking about. Not a life of pressure, not a life of performance, but a life rooted in rest. God bless you guys. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Shepherd's Tent. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. God bless you.