Episode 8: Extreme Couponing

Cary loves two things: saving money, and hobbies. Find out how her two worlds collided when a new reality show dazzled the nation back in the 2000’s, and how she tried to change the trajectory of her life with a massive brand-new binder, a dumpster, and a whole lot of determination. 

Music by Caitlyn Vinci. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, we sow the seeds of change that grow the plants of the new hage where the gods can all be seen as one we arrive.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

In this life, there are moments when we feel a shift in things. We leave a moment different from when we entered it. These moments make us who we are. Let's talk about them. We're back for season two. We're back for season two. I am really proud of us for doing season one alone. I never thought in a million years I'd have a podcast, number number one, but then the whole season, you know? A whole season. How many episodes did we do? Seven. We did seven, yep. And then life got real lifey, and we decided that we should just whoop sorry, my cat just knocked over my microphone. But we just decided life got kind of crazy and it was okay to stop there. And I think it was fine now. I don't even know if life got crazy. I think we recorded a bunch of stuff and we're like, okay, that's that's enough for a season. That's it. And then we talked season two. So actually we are still on track um because we were like, okay, Christmas, winter, depressing. So we'll start in the spring. So nobody had any idea that shit went down in those interim months because this was a normal break. So look at us, Carrie. We did a podcast season. Well, uh my life at least was on fire. Avalanches occurred. Yeah, and we picked up where we left off, no none the wiser, except for we're running our mouths about it now. But yeah. Anyway, yeah, because surprise, guys, my dad died.

unknown 1:52

We did.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Mary's dad suddenly died, and then oops, April. You've won the you've won uh a seat in the 2025 Dead Dads Club. We've got another friend who's in it too from our our small slowing group. So it was no one anticipated that. Nobody weird club. I just slipped into the 2025 because my dad died at New Year's December 30. So shittiest club ever. That was a curveball. Ain't nobody was expecting. So that was really weird. Did you was your first month after your dad died like what the hell? It's still what the hell now for me, and I know it is for you. And I don't know if it's because I had winter depression too, and I got the flu from his funeral, and then a sinus infection, because I always have to have that sinus infection, like just loves to join the sickness parties, and then I got a cold and then another sinus infection. So my body was broke, but I just my brain was messed up. Um I can honestly say I don't remember. That's that's valid too. I think that is valid, and I think that there are many things I I remember very strongly, like the last day I saw my dad. I remember so many details of that day. But I don't know if I remember how I feel because I was just surviving so much, you know. And my cat, like anybody who's watching this on YouTube now, because we're putting this on YouTube, my cat is like suddenly obsessed with me, and it's very distracting. So try not to be distracting. This is Miss Piper Jamal. Oh, she is she's our therapy cat. She is our therapy cat. The one thing I did want to say though about that really quick before we roll into today's episode, is I watched, I think it was a little meme on Instagram one day that I saw, and it talked about how to make croissants. So croissant is like dough and then pons of butter, right? I'm wondering where you're going with this. Okay, yeah. I take the long road, and that's why we love me. Okay. Um, and so what you do is you take the dough and it's like loads of butter, and you just keep folding it in half, and you fold it in half and half and half. And what happens is the dough is the same shape or size, but the butter just starts getting emulsified into the dough. The dough will start like you won't be able to see the layer after it. And that's what makes croissants so flaky, is because it's got so much butter in it that as it cooks, the butter melts and creates all those pockets and a little deliciousness and the flaky layers. This cat is driving me crazy. And so someone said that grief is like making croissants. And basically, eventually you don't see the layers anymore, but you know that the butter's still there. It just gets thinner and thinner and thinner. And the butter is the grief and the layers of life, essentially. Um, and I feel like that's exactly how it was for me is every day that went by it was kind of like me figuring out how much time I spent grieving and how often and how much it affected me. And then I was so busy this week. Like I think of my dad every single day, every single day. But it's not the same. You know, like I've got his picture on my desk, and it was kind of weird because yesterday I came home from the weekend and I sat my stuff down, and then I saw my dad looking back at me, and I was like, Oh, yeah, my dad's dead. You know, and it just kind of you know that was me yesterday. I was I was riding to church and my brain's like, Your dad's dead. Yeah, really? I don't I don't have time for this. Yeah, I don't have time for this. And I just started crying, and JB thought I was probably crying about something else, like some beautiful song he's playing on the right or whatever. No, my dad's still my dad. Sorry, sorry, it's a bummer. Yep, always gonna be that, buddy. Um, it's so weird. Yeah. But it just keeps getting I don't want to say easier or better. You just deal with it differently and you're able to carry it with you better. Carry it differently. Like halting your whole day. Yeah, because there are still days that I drive and cry, especially when it's a long drive, like after sewing weekend. I drove home and I, you know, I had to make a pit stop 30 minutes south. So then I had a longer drive. So it was like two and a half hours. And uh suddenly I'm just driving and I just start crying, just crying and missing him. And it's like when I have that time for my brain to remember and then really feel into it, you know. And I've been in therapy this whole time, so it's not like I haven't talked about my dad or you know, had any moments where it was, you know, mind I was mindful of him. It's just you've been processing it the whole time in different ways. Allegedly, yeah. It feels like it, but I I mean on paper I am, but sometimes it really doesn't feel like I am because it's I'm sure you can relate where it's just like all of a sudden it's such a big, you know, amount that you're just like, Where did this come from? You know? So Oh man. Yeah, what was happening to me the other day? Oh, I was at work, and we have uh several security guards at work, and they're all very friendly, and I talked to them all, and I realized I don't know half their names. Like, I just I heard it once, I didn't remember it, and I feel like an idiot for asking again. I thought this is stupid. So I started asking them their names. So one day I'm like, all right, this fella's got steel gray hair, he's friendly. I like him. Okay, what's your name, Tom? Tom was my dad's name. I'm like, okay, my my my gut's a little bit like but okay, okay. I will never forget his name because it's Tom. So do do do do do do. So then I go, I walk past that security guard, and I encounter the next one. There's usually two on a shift, so it's two dudes that day. So I was like, what's your name? He says, My name's Tom. I'm like, You gotta be kidding me. You never know. There's two to three toms on the security team. And I was like, the day I asked them their names, they are both named Tom. And I'm pretty sure there's a third one.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

So now I'm a little afraid to ask the other fellas. So I know some of them like, okay, I know he's not Tom. And I know this is Tom, Tom, Tom, not Tom.

unknown 8:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

This is the only one that's not Tom. So things like that. And I'm like, I'm at work. I can't start crying because the man told me his name. Like, he'll be like, Why are you sad that's my name? I'm like, never mind, I don't want to talk to you anymore. So yeah, things like that happen, and I'm sure they do for you. Okay. That that was an unexpected time where your your body starts to be that. Yeah. So yeah. There, I mean, I don't think I told you this either. And if you want, we can just keep going with this one. But I had all this stuff listed on my Facebook marketplace for my dad's stuff. It was like just old metal things, you know. People wanted like sewer covers, just weird random stuff. I know. This is my dad, right? This is the same house where I found a grass bowl. I mean, it's not the sewer, it's not the sewer like the turtles use, like that big one. It's like a little one. I don't know. They're like old. I was thinking like somebody, you know, city of Detroit, sewer cover. Like it might be. Only certain people can use that. Okay. I mean, who knows? Like, you know, I know you've heard me use this term, but the term that I use that I learned from my older sister is I just work here. And especially when it comes to stuff in my dad's house, I'm like, I I can't explain any of this. Not asking. I'm just peddling the wares to get it out of my life. Okay, so I had all this random stuff on there, these 1940s air compressors, and just like random stuff that's been sitting outside that people collect. And I had listed it in the summer with intentions of like trying to get rid of it all before he just to do it for your dad. No, this was like after he died. I say summer. Sorry, fall. It's it was still warm, so my brain is putting up there. Sorry. Your dad was dead and you're listing. Yeah, listing things. Oh, let's get this out of the the weather and get because you were trying to help him sell things and do stuff before he died, too. That was just a project of clearing stuff out. Okay. And so mostly this was just to get stuff done before winter, because that winter out there is really brutal because there's no covering. And so I had like five or six things and totally forgot about them. And normally with McFacebook, you get a certain amount of weeks and then it drops off, or they'll ask you to renew. And I never renewed any of them. But I would say a month ago, all of a sudden, some guy was adamant about buying this one air compressor thing. And again, it's just a hunk of metal. And his name was Gary. And that was my dad's name. And I was just like, you've got to be kidding me. You can't make this stuff up. But Gary enjoyed his air compressor from Gary. Did he buy it? He did. So I I know things like that happen all the time. And then if we want to keep rolling with this, it's like the guy across the street whose leg I saved. Do we want to roll through this one? This story. Is his name Gary? His name isn't Gary. I can't think of what his name is right now, but there's these weird nuances that happen that remind me of my dad. And then I'm like, this is insane. What are the chances that all the security cards would be named Tom? Not all. They've been Tom this whole time. But do you know what I'm saying? Like, why all of a sudden? Do you know what I mean? And you do remember people, you know? So for me, like outsider looking in, I'm like, you are you don't not remember people. So the fact that you omitted that, and then for it to be so significant after is kind of insane. Strange. Yeah, I think well, they did tell me they know their names before, but they're because they're not the people I work with side by side every day, and there's a lot of people I encounter through my job. Um and when I first met them, I was learning 40 people. So, like the first week I was in this this office, and then because they don't work directly with me, I'm like, okay, they're and I know these guys, I talk to them, but yeah, I don't remember their names because I felt dumb. So yeah, it was just funny the timing, I think, that I decided to ask them their names. I could have asked them in the fall, but I just thought this time I was like, I'm done. I'm done not knowing their names. Yeah. So anyway, well, now that we have talked about sad things, let's move on to less significantly first world problems. Yeah, right. But the truth is the I really okay, so today's episode is about couponing. And honestly, it's a really kind of random thing for us to talk about and pick up, but I've had this idea for a while because it was a significant time where I learned something big, and I thought, you know what, I think everybody could use a little uh time to hear about this and maybe learn something for themselves or see if how they feel about it. So basically, do you remember when that show came out? It was called Extreme Couponing. Mm-hmm. Yes. And I think it was on TLC. Is TLC even a channel anymore? I don't have cable.

unknown 13:30

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

I don't know either. Is cable around anymore? I don't even think cable, I think exists, but it's probably had a few different iterations. Oh I never saw, I saw like one episode. I think I've seen about the same. And then did it piss you off? You're like, literally, seriously, this is beat, this is not real life. Well, actually, no, I'm gonna be honest. I thought it was completely you were inspired. Yeah, I was inspired. Well, that's cool. This is a different time in my life, like a very different time. So this is before children. Okay, I was 25, between 25 and 30, somewhere in there. And I was working probably one or two jobs because I, you know, I always worked a lot of jobs or I worked far or whatever. And so on the weekends, I my John would work all the time. So it was just kind of me, except for one weekend of the month, him and I, he would have off. The rest of the weekends, it was pretty much fair game. And so I remember learning on TLC and the ch learning channel and um basically seeing this show, and I was like, what? This is a thing? Now, some backstory too is the idea that I was a poor kid. So extreme couponing was this idea of like getting free stuff for nothing. And all it took was some pieces of paper and some time and determination, and you could get free food, free beverages, free toothpaste, all these crazy, like easy, simple things that were pretty big deal when I was a kid, because you know, we always had aim toothpaste toothpaste, nothing against aim toothpaste. There's like but it's like 99 cent toothpaste, yeah. And I always thought, well, why can't I have crust or Colgate or something with whitening or whatever, you know? And so learning about this, I was like, I can do that, you know, and then um Pinterest was no help because this is back when Pinterest was like actually really good and before it all became AI. And there's some lady on there who I think was probably on the show, and I was like, oh, I'll follow or whatever and start observing what she's doing. And so I did. And then next thing you know, I'm getting some supplies ready. So, what does extreme couponing look like? Well, extreme couponing is basically where you take an item and you get a coupon in a flyer through the newspaper, and then you wait for like whenever the stores themselves do double coupon day, and it was usually up to a dollar. And then you would use other things like digital rewards, or sometimes you could do like in-store savings, special things that, you know, and then also if the manufacturer had two different coupons, you could use both of the coupons as long as the item matched. So if one of them was a dollar off, you know, Colgate, 10 ounces, that's a lot, but you know what I mean. And then the other one was 50 cents off, but was still for one single thing, you could use both, plus the coupon doubling and the store, plus on and on and on and on. So this idea is that like you basically do all this research and you figure it out and you get your coupons and whatever, and you go to the store and you just buy everything, and the the big excitement was that at the end you did all the coupons. So it's just like when you go to the store now and you're like, don't leave me broke, don't leave me broke when all the the discounts are like coming off, you know? But the idea was to get down to zero, um, or as close as you could. So people would end up like buying out shelves and couponing so much that they would get everything for free. So basically, I find myself like thinking this is a cool idea and then getting the supplies ready. The supplies literally included a giant binder with the card, what would you call them? The trading card pages, you know, where you and it's got like nine or twelve or whatever. And what you would do is you would clip the coupon out and shove them in there according to like, and then you would have a section for beauty and have a section for dairy or whatever, okay? And so you have this giant binder and you carry it to the store with you and you do all this, okay. Um, another example would be like CVS bucks or rewards. You know how you get like certain so people would would really rely on CVS or maybe even Walgreens for their discounts when it came to like toothpaste and stuff like that. Okay, so that's basically the supplies. And then what you need is the actual coupons. So next thing you know, I'm driving to the Kroger and I'm getting Detroit News, Home Daily, all the big newspapers, and I'm getting all the coupons out of them. Well, the problem with that is most of the time you only got one section of coupon. Well, you can't buy 35 toothpaste when you only have one coupon. You're not so you need to seek out. So then I'm like asking people. So I'm becoming this hustler of coupons. It's so stupid. Like I look back now, and I'm like, this is just ludicrous, right? But hear me out, right? In the case. It wasn't you were going on a project and you were trying to see if you could replicate what you saw the people doing on TV. Right. Um, but now I'm just, it's just so funny to me. Anyways, okay, so you you get all these coupons, right? And I even went so far as to go to the recycling center because I had an electronic to deposit or something into the recycling, and then rummaging through the paper to get all these coupons. So imagine me in the bin trying to get all these coupons. And I only did this once, because once was enough. Once was enough to teach me. However, it was still a very interesting story, right? So I get all these coupons out of the bin, I take them all home, and I spread them all out, and I got them organized by section and whatever, and I'm clipping, clipping, clipping. I can't even tell you how much time it spent clipping coupons. Because I this was a crazy thing I did, and I was not tracking because I was just going for it. Because that's what I do, right? Didn't matter. You got free food, it was worth the time. So then that's not even including where you could print coupons. Remember when people did that? It was before the time of digital coupons, April. When you go to like the Crest website and print off Crest Q. Or Kroger.com or whatever, and you could get coupons from there. Yeah. Yeah. Can you imagine how much printer ink? Printer ink alone, I don't think would be equivalent to the savings that you get from printing all the coupons, especially if you chose color. Are you serious? So basically, I do all this and I get ready and I got all these coupons and whatever. And then I'm ready to go to the store. So I get the sales ads and I'm looking to see what's on sale because that's the first section of coupons is you start with the sale, and then they're already got a discount, right? Then you add on the coupons and you're doing all this stuff. So I really gave it a try. I really did. And what ended up happening was eventually, exactly the time that I started doing it, it caught on. So the store stopped the double couponing immediately. Uh so that was my first hurdle. I was like, dang it. Well, I did all this work, I got this binder, I made this investment of time and money. And you know what? I'm just okay, so let me go for it. So I ended up spending the time and following these people, and they would go through the ads and they would show you exactly what to do and everything else. Um, and then in the end, I think I save like a normal amount, like 20%. That's still good. I usually track 10% when I go to Meyer. And if it's more than like 12, I'm thinking it was a good day for deals. Did you if you jump into a paper dumpster to get a coupon? No, is that how you get 20%? That's how you get 20%. I'm not dumpster diving for 20%, even though I do spend a lot of money on groceries. Okay, so the dumpster dive and all of that got you 20%, but you said that's like your normal. So I mean, give or take, because now I shop at Aldi, so it doesn't even count. Because Aldi to me, Aldi saves me a ton of money, and you and I have been through this before. Aldi is the coupon play. It it is a giant coupon. Yeah, it is. You just get the basic things and you get them for less, and it is what it is. To me, it's good quality and less expensive, and I don't even have to do couponing to get the savings, which is ideal, right? But what I found out is I was coming home and I had nothing. On my grocery list. Like there's no meals. Purchase nothing from your grocery list. I would pick like one or one to ten things would be on my grocery list. I've got a hamburger, but nothing else. Yeah, there's no puns. There's no vegetation. There's no cheese. There's no you get you got you got the burger. That was it. And then I was like, okay, well, that didn't really work out, you know. And then thinking about, okay, when when I do it next time, you know. And then I noticed that. So between the savings not being good, not having like any meals, I'm just like, oh, here's a random tubacotta cheese. Like, you know what I mean? It just it did not move up because they were on sale. Yeah. And then so that was the other part of it is I had so much of the same thing, and it's not really stuff that I could freeze. So I ended up giving it all away. And even with the Yeah, and even with like the toothpaste and stuff, how much toothpaste? I got a family of four. We could go through some toothpaste now, but it was just John and I. There was no need for me to have 10 tubes of toothpaste at any given amount of time. And and I know we do have 10 tubes because everyone has a different kind that they use. How extra is that?

SPEAKER_03 23:11

But anyway.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Well, I get I mean, I get that. I get that. But the point is, like the the amount, sheer amount of it is just stupid. And uh now everything has an expiration date. It's not shelf stable the same way it was when we were kids. So for me, I was like, I'm never gonna use this in the time it expires. Gave it away. Which giving it away isn't a big deal, but I wasn't gonna do it. It defeats the purpose of not spending the money. It's like it's like if a single person went to Costco and thought, oh my gosh, look at this deal on these croissants. And you buy a dozen of them and you get home and you realize I can't eat them fast enough. Uh-huh. Yeah. They were a great deal, but not anymore. Yeah. Because now you're throwing it over. So how many uh trips to the grocery store? How many weeks of couponing before you kind of started thinking, wait a second? I really feel like I did it maybe twice, tops. Maybe. Because I think the first time I was like, I'm going for it. And then the second time I was like, okay, what can I learn from this experience? What can I do better? Where did I go wrong? The sheer mental math alone should have given me enough to incentive to never do it again. Because every store is different. Every flyer, every even the ladies that were doing it online, there is no way I could do it. They're in different cities with different grocery stores. Were they going? So on this show, were these people going to different stores also to gather the groceries? Oh, yeah, for sure. And I remember this one lady. This is the one that really sticks out in my mind. You know those gallon, no, half-gallon containers that like you can get lemonade or chocolate milk or you know, just like the little ones that like Oh, the jugs? Yeah. I remember this one lady buying like a whole U-boat. So that's like the carts that they use at the grocery store, they're called U-boats. Um so basically it'll hold like a milk crate worth, so about four per crate, and it was completely full. She bought out the entire store of like lemonade in these jugs, and I think she paid something like five cents each. But why? Right. Besides for T. Because she could. There's no way that you can use it. And some of these ladies had really or people, I think. But then you're taking it away from other people, unless you're exactly giving it away to a food bank. So the one lady, um, maybe not the same lady, but I remember them like, why do you do this? What is your purpose? What is you know? And they'd be like, Well, I'm going to live in Hawaii. So I'm and this was literally a lady. I'm going to live in Hawaii and my family of six, I want to move them there. So by doing this, I can save enough money for like down payment on a house or whatever. And okay, fair if that's if that's your dream. But But you don't need to buy twelve things of lemonade. Yeah, because I mean you can't that stuff isn't like stable again. You have to refrigerate it. And how fast are you really gonna go through that? Are they just going to drink that instead of having water because it's there? You know, like kids do that, you know. If you didn't have that, what would happen? You'd just drink water. You know what I mean? It's to me, it's like, you know, this double negative, I think is the right way to say it. Or it's like it doesn't even make any sense. So that led me to the next part. I ended up with stuff I didn't need and I ended up giving it away, which is what I said. And it was in stupid amounts, you know. But I was actually spending more money than I would have because not only am I going to the store more than once because I didn't get any dang groceries I could use, but also I'm, you know, even if I got crest for 50 cents and I got 10 of them, still spending five bucks. I'm still spending five bucks on something I don't need. And you could spend a buck fifty and had one. You're happy. So after doing it whatever amount of times I did, and after realizing it was not worth my energy, um, I look back and I think that it was definitely not worth my time either. And I think this might be one of the moments that changed me because even though I wasn't really into my worthiness then and I didn't really understand my value quite yet, I did recognize that my time was worth more than what I was bringing home. And I realized that it wasn't helpful to me and I was kind of doing it for nothing. It was kind of a waste of time. I I think it's cool that you realize that. I I don't know how many people understand how valuable time is. It's more valuable than money. Mm-hmm. And we say it, but it sounded like you at a young age already started having a grasp of that. Yeah, I wasn't I mean, I'm I was walking towards that idea, but I didn't quite understand it yet. Or I wasn't able to read it. But you're starting to identify it and like and and see it in your life. Mm-hmm. Yeah, which I do see and and so that was definitely huge. So it kind of took I remember my ego being a big deal then though. I was like, I spent all this time and now I'm just throwing this binder away. You know, and I was like, am I a quitter for this? No, I just realized how much I was wasting, you know. You explored it, you identified that was not for you. But I'm wondering, in your your very short and feverish flurry over doing this, did you learn any actual deals tricks that aren't as super time consuming that you're like, okay, this is worth me doing, and it's only gonna save me 50 cents, but it's fine. This is the biggest one. I'm gonna tell you the biggest one that was my biggest takeaway. And so there's two, there's two things here. But the biggest trick that I learned is that every six to eight weeks, whatever deal is on sale will happen again. Because that's how the marketing teams work within the the couponing with the restore that brand. Yeah, Kroger or Meyer or whatever. Yeah, they're all the same, so they end up on the same rotation. And it I think it's I can't recall. This may be something we investigate, but I believe it's something that got to do with the printing schedule of the coupons and how the um companies give what they're going to be couponing. Because think about it this way: if you're a toothpaste company and you want to give this coupon, that's fine, but then the store has to make sure they have enough supply for the demand, especially if it's a really good coupon or buy one, get one free or whatever. So they have to kind of work together in this weird system or network that kind of feeds off of each other to make sure that supply and demand is still being held, you know. Interesting. So I will go to a store and if this something is on like a really good deal, I'll decide and say, instead of like clearing the shelf, I'll think, how many of these can I use in the next six to eight weeks? Is it worth my time to spend thinking about it again? Or do I need four and will that last me an entire year? So I started really getting it caused me to really get to be mindful of how much I was using and how often and how fast so that way I didn't keep buying. Because the other part is when something's so cheap, right? For me, my lack mindset was like triggered from being poor. So if something is like 99 cents, I would buy 13 of them or whatever, thinking like, oh man, I just got the best deal because I got 13 of these for $13. But if I only needed two for the year, that's like $11 that I took out of my pocket where I could have used it for something else.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

And so I would do that with all sorts of things, and then I would end up broke. But with a heck of a lot of toothpaste. With a heck of a lot of toothpaste. Actually, not even really because I was horrible at it, but but the that's the idea. So I definitely learned how my lack minds that was triggered in that time. And that my time was worth more. And then I started to think as an adult, especially now looking back, like what is my time worth? Mm-hmm. How much like if you take your hourly amount that you get paid, do you feel you're worth equal to that or more? And depending on the task, right? Mm-hmm. So, like being mindful of that as well. That's a big one for me. And I used to do it a lot when I worked from home because I can make my own calendar schedule, right? So now I work until a certain time of day and I'm done. But back then I would say, yeah, I could spend three hours tonight extreme couponing and saving $20. Or I could work for three hours at my job and make more than that. And that was always my thing. Like what could I better be doing with my time right now? So it's a little different now because it's not like I'm working at night or you know, I've normal hours, but I still ask myself, yeah, I'm worth X amount an hour. Is it better to pay someone else to do this? You know, like should I pay a plumber a hundred dollars to come and do this? I don't care how long it takes him or her, a hundred bucks. Or do I spend eight hours figuring it out myself in how many trips, as you know, to Home Depot, and then I'm making five dollars an hour on that job. Yeah, and this is also coming from a place where we are older, we have children. We I mean, I don't always have money. I know, like depending on the time. Or I'd rather spend it moving my children to Hawaii, I guess. No, right. But when you don't have ten dollars to give, you don't have ten dollars, so you have to have that time, right? So you have to say, yeah, time is your money. So I want to acknowledge that because uh there was a long time where I didn't have money. I couldn't make the how does what's that saying? You can't make two rocks bleed or something like that. Did I make it up? Squeezing blood out of a turn. Okay, I don't know how I pulled that from that. You just get me, April. You just get me. Yes, and so yeah, we've been in that position too, where it's like, well, do you want your roof done? You have to do it yourself or you don't get it done. So there is that balance. But because Carrie, you and I are so used to doing everything ourselves. You recently went to Vegas to help work on a home of a family member who was studded to get it ready for sale and you fixed the toilet and you went to Home Depot 300 times to do different things. To do that, because we have the skill set and we've learned to do those things. And I think sometimes we got to stop ourselves and say, wait a second, just because I know how to change the oil on a car doesn't mean I have to. Yeah, I can pay someone else to do it. If I'm happy to do it, great, but you know, we have to stop ourselves, or else we're spending all this time doing all this stuff when we could be doing other things. Yeah, and I realized how much time I was giving away for something that was not pre-necessary. Yeah, and like who that wasn't filling me, filling me up, you know, like it was not helpful, it did not give me any sort of respite whatsoever. So I was it really felt like a waste of time. Yeah, I didn't feel joyful at then where you thought, okay, I still had fun, you know, even if I have too much toothpaste or too many hamburger buns. Some people they do like that. It's a game for them, it's a challenge. And they like that. And they like spending all their time freaking that, but it's like a part-time job. It really is. It really is. And um, a couple of years ago, I think when my like awakening started, I did see something that you and I both you talked about earlier, and that is a main point for me. Of um, people think that money is the most important asset, or you know, water. I mean, water is an important resource, don't get me wrong, but it's really time. Time is the one thing that like you cannot get back no matter what you do. It's time. And you can't earn more. You can't, and I don't ever remember being young and anyone talking about that ever. Really? Yeah, not for a second. And I mean, I I take time to tell my kids that because I want them to be knowledgeable of how much YouTube they watch.

unknown 36:15

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Yeah, but I tell them, like, hey, you spent 10 hours on this app this week. That's a part-time job. Yeah, yeah. And and that's a hobby, that's something else you could have done, more fun. Yeah. And yeah, what do you have to say for it, you know? Um, but once I started to really realize that and lock in on that, I was like, oh yeah, no. Um, I definitely noticed that, like you had mentioned me helping out with a family member's house. And I don't know where in time because I definitely wasn't alive. I'm gonna guess the 80s before I was born, maybe the 90s with the DIY channel. I'm not sure. But there is all of a sudden we used to have plumbers to do the plumbing. We used to have handymen to do the handiwork. We would take our clothes to a tailor to be fixed. There were bakers and there were grocers and there were, you know, meat packers, and there were all these things, and now there isn't. And oh, you don't think there is? I mean, depending on where you go, there definitely isn't in my small town. Maybe because I'm in an urban space, we have all these. And I feel like there's a lot more mindfulness around the importance of small business and also the importance of people who it's their job. I I think that we got to this place where we could do it, but no one ever stopped to say, should we do it? If you are the tailor and you are awesome at making clothes and it's your passion, and why should I sp, like you said, why should I spend eight hours trying to figure out how to put a zipper in when I could give you a certain amount of energy or money in replace of your energy where it will take you two minutes? Where did we think, when and where did we stop, or did we not stop, and did we start thinking as a society that this was helpful? You know, I know that people do things out of sus um necessity, and I get that. I remember my uncles coming over to help my dad with whatever, or you know, but when did we decide that everybody was a master at everything? That we were all jacks of all trades. Yeah, and maybe we are, but what that doesn't mean we do it well. What is that? How's that go? A jack of all trades is a master of masters. Master of none. But I think maybe is it because of where you live? Because where I live in an urban space, nobody wants to be jack of all trades. They would rather pay for the plumber and the roofer in the auto mechanic. Though they are dying trades, so it's harder to find them. And so they might be scheduled out for months. Yeah. And I have a neighbor who's a contractor, he's like, I have so much work. People ask me to quote them for more work, and I just give them triple the price because I don't have time for it. People pay. And if they bite, he's like, Okay, I will make time for that. Yeah. Wow. Because it's so hard to find people in the trades. Yeah. So it could be where you live. Like you live in an area where it's a lot more blue collar, too. So of course, people are like, and you know that, Carrie, you know this because I grew up blue-collar too. So if I told my dad I took my car to a mechanic, he's like, Would you do that for? You could have done it yourself. If I told him I'm gonna pay a man to come and get rid of, you know, I heard a mice, mouse, mice in the walls. We can fix this, April. We can do it. And I'm thinking, I don't want to spend the time. I tried doing it, I spent as much time as I wanted to, and I'm done. I have I tried taking apart the whole front end of JB's Chevy Equinox, I think it was. Some crappy car because my dad was a mechanic, and I'll be damned if I'm paying someone to do it because I can do this. Carrie, it was a mess.

unknown 40:13

It was a mess.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

So I had to kind of like push it back together a little bit and slowly drive it to the mechanic. And I said, Hey, I'm one of those ladies who thought YouTube could solve my problems. And they're like, whatever, dummy, get in line. You're not the first one today. I also think that it's to try those things out, like even the coupony thing, right? I feel that I am one of those people that I'm a professional try. I'm sure there's a defin a better word for it because I professional hobby? And maybe not even a whole ass hobby. Maybe it's just like, oh, I'm gonna try that and see what happens. That's what I mean. A hobbyist. Like you, your hobby is hobby. I love that. Your hobby is trying all the hobbies. I seriously love that. And see, doesn't it feel like that's what you do? And so now And then I talk about it. Run to the hobby, do the hobby, drop the hobby, try not to into the hobby into a way that puts you like that's the old ADHD, or in where I would be like, I need everything. We're like, Yeah, you might want to go out and buy all this stuff. I've told you in the attic, I have I had a an area called JB's Island of Lost Hobbies. And it was or his dead hobbies, or he'd get excited, like you, I want to do a thing, and then he'd do it, and then he'd he'd pass on it. And it used to make me crazy because I'm like, Don't you know yourself? You know, and I want uh this is really interesting, but he didn't. I do want to say he didn't spend a ton of money. He would think about things and talk about things, he'd spend some money, yeah. He would just give it a go, right? And see dabble. But I I remember one time he's like, I'm gonna do bonsai trace, I'm gonna do it. I thought, cool, do it and he researched it. Then he bought books and supplies and all these things and never even got a tree. Um, so now I've learned he his he is having fun thinking about doing a hobby. And if he spent $50 for two months of scheming and having fun, and even if he leaves them all to collect dust, that was a pretty cheap hobby, Carrie. $25 a month for fun. You know what? Who cares if you don't do a damn thing with it? So you are also a hobbyist, a serial hobbyist, is that the word? I mean, yeah, I think so. Your hobby is to dive into things. So yes, you do want to not spend $400 a month on random hobbies. Yeah. But I think you're you're pretty wise about that, and you try to be to be smart about it. Oh, for sure. Did you use to not? Um, I think that for a while. So let's go back a second. And you talked about how your dad used to be like, don't you dare. Like he wouldn't say, Don't you dare, but he's like, Why would you do that? And we've had many conversations like this because my dad was the same. My dad could work on motorcycles and vehicles, and he knew how to paint. And he was probably one of the best auto-body people ever. And all these people will come to him for all these things, and we would have all these things, you know. And the truth is, in the end, if you let somebody do it who knows it, like that's their only job, they get it done faster. So my dad had all these, you know, hobbies and stuff that he just not even hobbies, he was just really good at all these things, but he never got anything done. But because of that, I think I also tried to turn everything that I enjoyed into a career. Oh, you're like, I'm a I could be a vitaminic. I could be this one thing though, dad. Dad, you do all of them, but dad, I'm gonna do the one and do it really good and be fasting. Yeah, and luckily at some point my grandpa looked at me and said, I'm gonna try to do my grandpa voice. You never make your hobby, your job. Because it basically it takes all The fun out of it. And it does. And heck yeah. Right now, I actually um have a job where my hobby is my actual paying job, and it's only part-time and it's just for now, maybe, unless it turns into something else. But I can definitely feel it suck the fun out of it. And once it started and I felt it, I was like, oh, because it feels like such a slog. Then it's like the fun is literally out of it when you have to rely on it. Even though I think if you were given the same project to create something without it being now, you're getting paid. You'd be like, oh cool, I'm gonna do this. I'll do this, I'll have fun. But yeah, it just there's something about that mindset where I look at people who are saying, who say, This is I get to do what I love for a job. And I think there's different variations. Like my job, I work in a museum and I could do creative crap all day. So that is things that I love, but they're not my core identity. Like being creative is what my core identity, but the stuff I create at work isn't the stuff that really lights me up, like working with textiles and things. Right. So if if that turned into, and now April, you work you'll work at like a costume museum, but you have to do the card. Or what if you have an Etsy? And because I had an Etsy store at one time where I was making things like jewelry, because I ended up having this jewelry and people that I made at got stuff from Michaels through Taylor. Oh, what am I wearing right now? Carrie Pinch earrings, guys. Okay. But that people kept saying, Oh, I love your jewelry. Did you make it? Where did you get it? And so then I was like, Oh, I felt inspired that I should create these things for sale. And then nobody would buy them. Like, even the earrings you're wearing, those are Tula, right? I can't see. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I cannot believe people did not buy your earrings. I know, and I made how many, like 20 pairs, and I was like, okay. And you you even advertise them in in a she advertised the in a niche uh hobby group where everybody buys everything that has anything tangentially to do with this creator, this artist. And so where I was like, this is a shoe-in because they're cute, they're lightweight earrings, and these people are invested in this brand. Yeah. And I thought, wow, like this will be fun. And really, I was like just excited because I figured out how to I think you did have fun making them. Yeah. But the part where it was now sell them, you're like, Yeah, because the truth is, like, nobody would buy them, and I thought they were cool, and other people thought they were cool, but there was never that go button that people would actually purchase them. I think I sold one or two pair, maybe, and then I ended up giving a bunch away and then giving the rest away because it they just sat around. I don't know how many you pair you got or your kids. I know I give knives. Yeah. So uh you gave one pair to my kids and one of them went through the water. Never mind, you can't have this. You do not worthy of these things. I have several pairs, but do you think, Carrie, if it did take off and people are like, I love these earrings, would you have loved doing that for a long time? Like, we always shout out to Brambles. Brambles, please sponsor us. We will every time we love you. I was thinking, okay, when you talk about don't do your hobby, but how does they figured it out? This man, yeah, he makes he's been doing it for maybe close to 10 years. Making earrings out of salvaged wood, found pieces of wood, natural colors. He doesn't dye or anything. He just creates crazy shit every week. He's a woodworker. Every week we want to buy them all. Loves woodworking, and yes, every week, there was another pair. There is a pair he posted yesterday, guys, which was he posted it on a Sunday, and I thought, ooh, those are those going up for sale this week. And I noticed it had been posted from the left. It was like he already sold. He's like, These are already sold. And I thought, son of a gun. Anyways, he does that, Carrie. Does he get tired of it? I don't know. Well, maybe we should ask more. Or does he have I think wood, see, making earrings isn't his dream. Playing around with wood. So maybe he plays around with wood half the week he makes earrings, and then he plays around with wood the other half of the week making crazy shit that he just. My perception is too that his favorite thing is traveling with his family. So he this is a means to an end for him. So maybe hobby, his hobby isn't woodwork at all. Maybe it's travel, but this is a means to an end, you know. Maybe one of these days they should sponsor us, but also we should just have Jared on. So the last thing I wanted to say about the couponing is I wanted to note and point out how much it's evolved. And what I mean by that is it used to be if you wanted a deal, you would go get these newspapers, get the coupons, right? And then you said coupons, right? And we've talked about all this. Then if you look up at it, it started to become email centered. So Cole's cash and Kohl's discounts, and they would send you flyers, and then the birth of the apps happened. And then it went from having the app to send you the notifications to also including your text mess number text messages too, right? So it's not enough. So now it's all about personal information and then selling or having that information to sell to make money. So that's part of the savings that you're getting. So for whatever discount you get, then they make three or four times as much because your name and email, you know. But let's talk about the taxation of the push notifications. And then I remember there being a time when I've had so many notifications just from whoever, whether it's cold or it's from the push notifications, right? And just think about how often you take the time to look at the notification. Or the screen. And then it will lead you to something else. And like all of it is a play to get you back into their email or not even email, their website to purchase or whatever. Yeah. And so, like, let's use Kohl's Cash as a great example. Kohl's Cash, I use it and I have it still, but here's the difference. I like having a Kohl's card because it's a designated card for me to buy the things I need for my kids, like clothes and shoes, without having to worry about do we have enough money in the bank? And then I can easily use that as like a, you know, a little bit of segue when I need it, especially when I have to buy winter coats and boots and all those things that like add up really fast, right? So I use that as leverage so that way I can afford things when I need them instead of like stressing about it, right? Cash is that once you get into, then it's a never-ending system because of how they cycle out their sales, right? You go buy a lot of things. You get 20 bucks in coals cash, right? So then what do you do? Well, there's a certain window that you can use that coles cash in. So then you go, no deals then. Everything you want isn't on sale, boo, but you got this cool's cash, you know. And so you get in and then you go, oh, well, I'm here. I got bucks off. Oh, but I also need XYZ. So then you buy that. Well, guess what you get when you complete your purchase? More Coles Cash. And then it becomes this horrible cycle. And so I can honestly say I got like looped into it hard, especially when they would combine that with a 30% off coupon, you know. And then luckily, at some point, I think it was after my second, and you know, going to Kohl's a hundred times, dragging kids into the store, like physically taking them with you because you have to go on the weekend and you gotta go during that time period, and you're not gonna have time during the week because you know, so you I'm like literally taking them into the store. And at some point, I was like, this is not worth it. You know, it is not worth the $20 or the $10 or whatever. And then that's when I really started to calculate, oh wow, my time is worth a lot more than this. You know, and same thing with like you use the cools cash, you still have to pay shipping. You know, like are you really saving? And so that was the time when I realized like I just let it expire because I realized it was this horrible cycle. And if I didn't need something, I didn't need something, you know, thing and like the gap cash, I think, and old Navy cash, all those. I never even use them anymore because I did the math once and I thought it's the same deal. And but instead of buying the one shirt for 25% off, I'm here buying three, so I spend a hundred, so I get twenty percent off. And I'm thinking, I only needed one shirt, not three. So well, also what's really interesting, like to continue like finishing the talk about this, is yeah, oh your Kohl's cards, like credit cards and others, used to be like you had their credit card and you only used it there. So you well then now capital now capital one owns Kohl's cards. So I can use it anywhere. So recently, this is I'm glad we talked about this because recently I noticed this. I was like, I've gotten in this like habit of using the Kohl's card at Kohl's, and Kohl's is notorious for marking their stuff up so that way it looks like a discount, right? That's that's their shtick, let's be honest. Why am I spending $10 on let's just say a towel there when I could literally go to any other store or online and I could buy the towel and I still get Kohl's cash and Kohl's discounts because it's linked to their card. Yeah. So think about it. There's like so much mental programming that goes with that because now I'm less subjected to Kohl's when I really don't have to be. If I find a towel at Aldi, it's coles cash at least half off at all, why don't I just buy them there? Because in my mind, I'm used to go, I have these like mental pathways already.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 54:23

And do I even need the Kohl's cache? Dun dun dun. So then, so like, okay, to backtrack and then wrap it up. I noticed how much push notifications, I noticed the stuff about polls, I noticed the emails, and then I noticed just the amount, sheer amount of time I was spending deleting emails. One day I got tired of it and I like just lost it and I just went through and deleted them all. I started with push notifications. I was like, you will not be taking my time. And then there's a Netflix. Oh, I can't think the social dilemma. Have you seen that? You should definitely, I think you and I have talked about it before, but it talks about just like how much the phones trigger us to be on the phone because people we get the big companies now get paid for our attention, not for actually selling the thing. So like push notifications. Like I they don't bring anything, they don't add any value to my life. All they do is take away, so they gotta go, right? Emails. I there are some really wonderful brands that I love that I have stopped like their notifications and emails, yeah, unsubscribed because of just the sheer amount of messages. Like I know who you are. If I want a thing, this particular thing, I'll go to your site. And most of the time they're like their discounted shipping or whatever. It was like not even worth the amount of time it took me to get through all their emails and just deal with the trash. And honestly, the amount of mental space I have now, how many unread messages do you have in your inbox, Carrie? This is a modern day question for people.

SPEAKER_03 56:16

Well that's not bad.

SPEAKER_02 56:29

But it's because every time I find myself like getting annoyed by what's in my box, because now Google is doing this thing where if you have a certain capacity, which is I don't know why I have a lot less emails than I ever have before, but it's telling me I need to pay for more space, like all the time. And I'm like, this is all junk, like, you know, Hobby Lobby or whoever I don't really shop there, but that's just a random thing I picked. But like they don't pay for me to have these Gmail options. Like, I don't need I don't need any of this. I don't need any of it. And so I just start deleting and unsubscribing. And what gets tricky is when I get caught in these loops of text messages or whatever to be able to get that coupon. So there are times that I get kind of stuck in it because I will want to see more and they purposefully do that where you have to put the email in or whatever. And then I'll I'll see that, oh no, this isn't my thought, and I'll go back in and like unsubscribe. But the amount of time it takes to do all that, is it really worth it? So that's what I want all this the people listening to think through is like, what how much are you being inundated with this stuff? That's my first question. Where is your stopping point to to stop and say that's a bit more no, no more? Like for me, it's I just deleted four of your emails in a row without even looking at them. You know, like this to me is an example of either I don't have enough time for to read this because I want to, or is it doesn't feel like my time is worth it. Like that is go as goes back to that saying if if you wanted to, you would. If I really wanted to read all five of those messages that I've been holding on to, I would have read them already. You know? Um and I just think there's a lot of value in less is more. Like less of those things provide more space for me to even think about like what do I need? Do I need a towel? Do I need toothpaste? Do I need, you know, instead of constantly just being subjected to that crap.

SPEAKER_03 58:43

So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

I would just say if if you what it would like see if there's an indicator of where you feel is enough, and also how much your time is worth. If you are worth 25 bucks an hour or 50, I I always double down, like 25 is what I'm getting paid at one job or whatever, then I say 50, you know. Um, at least. And then um I'm like, okay, how many minutes did it take me to delete these 10 emails or read them? Was that worth my time? You know, were the savings worth the time? Um, and I just feel like overall, I just wanted to point out that my brain is just so much happier because I'm not being inundated with all that noise. Just to like add this really quick, there's definitely a correlation between uh how overstimulated we all are and how like everyone thinks they have ADHD now. The more that I'm noticing and looking around, I think so much of it has to do with the overstimulation of the outside because I'm so overstimulated by everything on the outside. So getting rid of push notifications and email, super helpful. And then let's talk really fast about mail. How much mail do you get? That's junk. There are a website. Um I don't think I have it here. You can, there's like a website that you can go on where you can opt out of all the credit card offers. I don't have it with me. It's actually my other my new house, but I can look for it and then we can always post about it later. But I can't tell you. I probably probably fill my mail 75%. Because every single piece of mail that enters the house is a moment of your time. And so I think it's important for us as an a gener millennials, other generation, xennials, whatever, Gen X, whatever. It we are the we are the future. We are the people that there the companies are wanting our money, you know. We need to make really smart choices to close out this crap so that way we can make a vote. Every single thing we do is a vote. So if we sit there and we say, nope, I'm not subscribing to this vote anymore. This is not a yes for me, this is a no, then we control how things go for our kids. So it's really important that we take the time to focus on that or even just think about it and then say, no, no more. This doesn't work for me. Done. Because I don't want my kids to have that, you know? But, anyways, that's our episode of couponing. Thank you for listening to Finch and Sparrow Podcast. We hope that you enjoyed our stories, related to our lessons, or just laughed along with us. We sincerely thank you for spending your time with us today. A special thanks to our friend Caitlin Vinci for letting us use her song We Rise. You can check out our full song and other tracks at Caitlin Vincy Music.com. Follow along with us on our Instagram at Finch underscore the letter N underscore sparrow. There you can find out what we're up to, see what's inspiring us, and maybe what we're gonna do next. See you next time.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:58

Yes, you can be real and true, and it's all you allow yourself to do. The power comes from inside a place that you can't hide from.