Real Love, Real Life
Real Love Real Life dives into the unfiltered reality of relationships—dating, marriage, heartbreak, healing, and everything in between. It's honest talk about love and life, filled with real stories, hard truths, and the kind of laughs that come from lived experience.
No fluff, just facts, feelings, and a whole lot of growth.
Real Love, Real Life
EP 3: What It’s Really Like to Grow Up Mexican-American
What’s it really like to live between two cultures?
Jasmine and Ernesto get real about being Mexican-American in today’s divided world from getting denied jobs and school in Mexico to rebuilding a life in the U.S. with just $20.
Jasmine’s story of resilience, immigration, and identity challenges the headlines and shows what it means to fight for stability without losing your roots.
🎧 Listen in for a raw, honest convo about culture, opportunity, and owning both sides of who you are.
Hi guys, welcome back to Real Love, real Life Podcast. I'm Jasmine.
Speaker 2:And I'm Ernesto.
Speaker 1:Well, we're going camping. I'm excited, I'm so excited to unplug.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I'm literally gonna pull the cord tomorrow and like just relax.
Speaker 2:Finally relax.
Speaker 1:When was the last time like we did something that we just because like we've gone out of town and stuff, but it's? Like work events.
Speaker 2:That's all it's been is work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really been like work so, and there's something so different between like camping and like going like on vacation. Like obviously I'd love to be in Hawaii, but there's something about camping that I'm just always looking forward to Like I love. First of all, I love like beating everybody, like wake in the morning, like I wake up super early, I go and make my coffee and then I just sit there and like, do nothing, the kids can eat what they want. Like, yes, you can have a bag of chips at six in the morning I don't care you, and that's when you really wake up early too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love at the crack of dawn yeah, I love, I love camping, I love it. But um, anyways, just wanted to update on that. There has been a lot going on in the world lately. Like it is, it is so overwhelming. And if you guys feel overwhelmed like, don't worry, so do I, but I'm here to talk about it. Um, I just it's like so much chaos. Um, recently, like I had to, I would still be on social media, obviously, like I, that's my job, I would hop on, I'd post, but I wasn't scrolling it was it was so dangerous for my mental health.
Speaker 1:Um, I, I'd almost be, like, I'd go into, like a coma, huh like after scrolling for like a couple minutes I'd be like I need to go lay down. And then I'd go lay down and I'd just be like drained, like I can't, I couldn't get up. It was, it was crazy, it's just, it's a lot yeah, it's mentally draining.
Speaker 2:It's like you know whether what side is pushing what agenda or what propaganda is. Like they're just scaring you. It's like turn it off, like a lot of the stuff that's been going on. It's been going on for a long time. There's nothing we can really do about it unless we as you know you know our culture or Latinos is like the only way you can change stuff is not on the corner burning tires, waving a flag of another country, when this land was technically sold in 1848 for $15 million. So that's a fact. But also it's like if you truly want to change stuff, you have to go get educated and change legislation or represent your state. You guys love it. Like you know, everybody has the opportunity to go to school.
Speaker 2:Here too, it's like especially if you're majority of Latinos that come here to work, just like our parents. You know, just working, working two jobs, so it's like if you've been here a generation or two and it's like you have to get things in motion. You know it's like you can't just stay here and just work yourself like a work mule. You know there's there's a lot of opportunity, but there's also a lot of help and I feel like that's where it goes wrong. Um, one thing that that people that grow up, you know, in like less income areas they don't know about. You know government government assistance, like for tuition, like I think it's FAFSA or something like that. Yeah, like I remember when I was in trade school, some guy was like literally setting up helping people get it so they can get like paid tuition and money for their tools.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like nobody knew about that until he came along, because he was a little bit educated on that. So it's like you know what I mean. I feel like it's just we're just not taught that stuff.
Speaker 1:Aside from we're not taught. I feel like a lot of the times we use the Internet for, like, the wrong reasons. Right, you could literally go on Google and search whatever you want.
Speaker 1:You put help near me, financial help near me like and everything is going to pop up I just feel like we get so lost in the scrolling, yeah, and just um, like what kind of like what we see, instead of actually um educating ourselves on it and there's a lot of things that you know on that side, like you know, political side, I don't have like knowledge, on which, again, I feel like I'm wrong in that, because I could open a book or google and you know like study it, but I don't and that's why I stay back a lot of the times, like when it comes to that I'm like you know what I'm. I'd rather not because I don't know I don't know too much.
Speaker 1:Right, you're not gonna talk facts, you're just gonna be talking with emotion, with emotion and especially like I'm I'm a very emotional person, so so I rather like you know what hey like. Let me, let me slow down, let me take a step back, maybe not um, and I feel like as a content creator or influencer, however you want to, wherever you want to put me, um, it's very difficult when you have like a following and you don't speak on something fast enough yeah like immediately, when things were happening, like the protests and or riots, whatever, um they were, I feel like immediately, people were are you gonna be at so-and-so protests at this time at this day?
Speaker 1:um, why aren't you speaking out about this?
Speaker 1:why, aren't you doing this? Um, things like that like, why, why, like, why, why do you guys, why do you guys do that? Like, do you? And then also I was getting messages, you know, saying that I was from this side, or I was from this side, um, because you know I wasn't speaking up about it, that I was forgetting where, like, my roots are, and, um, like all of these like silly things that know. It was like at to some point, kind of keeping me up at night because I was like, do people really like think of me like that, like I never I never built like the platform off of politics or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Like literally, my platform has always been like cooking plus size, um, excuse me, things like that. So like for people to come on and just say things like that were really hurtful. So I was like you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna just take a step back not only that, they don't know nothing of you exactly.
Speaker 1:They don't know, like the background, like where, that I actually know how it is in another country because I already lived it, I've experienced it. I feel like I I'm pretty sure, like 98 of the people that were messaging me mean things, have never even lived in another country and experience like what it is in another country, you know so you live in another, in another country.
Speaker 2:What would you say are the differences like from living here and living over there?
Speaker 1:no, it's two worlds. It's like so I was born here in arizona and, um, but we would go back and forth a lot, like summers, um when, like winter vacation, winter break, we would spend it in mexico, um, so you know, there was a lot of back and forth, um when, when I was 14, um, my mom did send me like with my dad for a little while and then he sent me back. Then I was here until I was 17 again, 17, 18, around there, and then I went back to Mexico. And that's when I, that's when I was in Mexico until I was like 23, 24 years old.
Speaker 1:I lived I would say like I've lived a big chunk of my life in Mexico, um, and it's totally different, especially once I was over there with kids and I saw like the real struggle. Like the second time that I went to live in Mexico, I already had two kids. Um, then I was over age, so I was like okay, I have to get a job now. And it's funny, like in Mexico, when you're gonna apply somewhere, you already have to go in, like with your application, like you'd have to go into like a staples, like a or how they call it, like a papeleria, and they sell you an application. So, like every like, every job doesn't have their own thing. You have to go into like, let's say, like a store, buy one it's like a very generic one and already have it ready.
Speaker 2:Oh really.
Speaker 1:So I did that and the first thing that I noticed when I got my application was it was right next to my name. It had this word it's C-U-R-Pp, and I had no idea what that was.
Speaker 1:So I asked my mom and she's like so that's like a number that you basically get here when you're born or when you're registered, because in mexico you technically um, it's not like here in the hospital you fill out your birth certificate as soon as you're born, usually in Mexico, like a month later, you'll go and you'll register and until then, that's when you know the kid will have like a name, all of that she's like. So when you go and register you'll get a CURP, which is like equivalent to a social security number in the US. I was like, oh dang, well, I wasn't born here, how can I get one? And she's like well, you know, you'd have to go through the process of becoming a mexican citizen. So when I would go and apply everywhere, they'd be like this can't be blank. And I never thought it was like that. Like I thought I I guess I never thought there was like immigration laws is that silly? Like I never thought there was immigration laws in mexico. So every I was getting turned down by everybody, like you don't have.
Speaker 1:What are you doing? Like no, no, no, um, so I couldn't find a job, or couldn't I couldn't get a job. And then then it came time for my kids to start school, or our kids to start school, and same thing. What's his school? Oh, he doesn't have one. But here, um, like, my sister has kids that were born in mexico and they went to school here without a problem yeah literally just go sign them up.
Speaker 2:I don't even think you're discriminated, or I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't even think the schools here ask for a social security number, because I've never gave the kids social security number when. I just sign them up and get a free education.
Speaker 1:And yeah. So when I went to go sign the, at this time only Kevin was going to school. He couldn't start either. So they told me well, you know, we first give priority to kids that are born in Mexico. You know, we first give priority to kids that are born in Mexico and then once, like the first day of school comes, if there's room, then he can, he can start school. But if not, you know, we have to prioritize Mexican citizens. Ok, so comes the first day of school, I go back and ask no, there's no room, it's full. So he had to go to a school that I had to take two buses. We had to take two buses every morning to drop him off at school, to a school that did have space for him. So that's where I feel, like for starters, like that's already so different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, I feel like people don't think.
Speaker 1:people probably think how I used to think there's no, there's no immigration laws in Mexico. There is, you have to have that, um, if not, like I couldn't open a bank account I tried to open a bank account one time again. Where's this, where's these people?
Speaker 2:no, so it's basically if you come over, if you're here and then like you're trying to buy stuff and you need your social security, you don't have one. They're gonna be like well, yeah, it's like like who are you, huh?
Speaker 1:right. So you know, people like you know hear the word immigration and automatically think the worst yeah, it's crazy how they've associated with like emotion you hear immigration and it's like you just see somebody turn all sorts of colors Like, because they just like. How is that? How is that allowed? No one like no human, um, like is is illegal, things like that. And it's like hey, I already lived in another country and I'm pretty sure a lot of other countries, if not all of the other countries like have their immigration laws yeah so, um again, like I, it's very different.
Speaker 1:you know, you people think that we're not free here and I'm like you should really try to go live somewhere else. That's one thing that gets me when I think I was like promoting a 4th of July shirt that's coming up right.
Speaker 2:And that's a funny thing, guys, she was scared to promote it because she's like the backlash. I'm like, at the end of the day, if we're not proud and you know back up where we live, you know we can't cry about, cry about it later when we lose it and see, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's where I was wrong, like I'm uh, I'm proud, I'm proud to be um, mexican-american, and but I almost felt like I was scared to be proud to be american during these times, because I was like I'm like they're gonna say this, that, they're gonna say that, like I'm um, I'm not really like scared of losing followers, like it's something that you know you lose some, you gain some, things like that. I was just kind of like I'm always just, I guess, worrying what people think or what people are gonna say, which, at the end of the day, I guess really doesn't matter but I had the shirt that I was going to promote.
Speaker 1:really cute shirt, Um, you know, it has, like the all the American colors, things like that Immediately. I start getting all sorts of rude comments right away right away, like you guys, didn't even let the thing marinate and you guys are already like filtered comments. Going crazy yo yeah yeah, um so saying like girl, like this is not the time, um, like this is not, like this isn't necessary, or people were saying we're not oh, you didn't know, we're not celebrating the 4th of july yeah, miss me with that.
Speaker 1:Miss me with that. So again, even this episode, I thought about it, I thought about it and you know, I every time I'm like overthinking something, I always like I just I leave it to God. I'm like, here you go, bloop, it's yours, it's your problem right now. Because my brain we're, we're just, we're staying very like neutral, we're just saying like our, what are we?
Speaker 2:saying we we're talking about our experiences yes we're not talking about what's said on the news or what's on your algorithm we're talking real life experience of what we've been through.
Speaker 2:Like you guys don't know who of my family's been deported, who have jasmine's family's been deported. Like you guys don't even know that. It's like that's why it's traumatic to speak about that, because you know, 10 years, 10, 15 years ago, when you know her mom got picked up by ice at a court hearing, it's like you know that was happening back then too and you guys are going crazy about it now. It's like you know that was happening back then too and you guys are going crazy about it now. It's like, guys, you know it's, it's it's.
Speaker 2:It's hard being in the middle because obviously we were born here and thankfully so. I'm so blessed. I always say that I'm I'm so fortunate to be born here because, like my background, if my mom never came to the United States she wouldn't be here. Her kidneys were failing her. She's had multiple surgeries. You know her life ain't perfect, but this country has given their opportunity to extend it because of you know the medical care and also my dad. You know hitting it hard at work, working for SRP, 33 years, technically only has one hand. You know, luckily have health insurance. She was able to get treatment, but it always wasn't perfect as well too. So that's another aspect. That's like, yeah, the medical system hasn't been the best to my mom either. So it's like, um, you know, immigration, immigration status.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Medical status.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just real life in general. It's like we know the struggle too. We've had family deported, you know, back when you know certain presidents were presidents my mom was getting she couldn't go to the doctor because she owed money yeah, getting turned away. It's like, yeah, my dad grew up middle class, like we were middle class technically because he had, you know, a blue-collar job. But when you're in medical debt, like that, it's like and you go to get blood work at a certain place, they're turning you back because of that, because of a certain law that they put into action, and it's like we've been affected from every aspect. Yeah, but we're still like very blessed and fortunate to be here. And it's like, as far as me, my dad's side for what I know, my dad's side has been here five generations, but also Mexican-American, like obviously, you know, and that would be neat to look into too like exactly tracing back your roots to know exactly where you come from.
Speaker 2:You know it's like, but at the end of the day it's not where you're from, it's where you're at, and that's why I was talking to your brother today. I'm like, hey, the thing that gets me is like, you know, I get it, you love where you're from, but it's like, but the fact that you don't acknowledge this place for giving us this opportunity I'm like to me. That don't sit well with me, because at the end of the day, I think you have to acknowledge it Like, especially as a man. If you don't acknowledge that, then, man, it's unfortunate, because we truly live like in the greatest land that ever was conceived, not only by God's, but we're. Whatever you put in here is what you get out, because we come from the hood, we come from the you know like, and you can really make it out.
Speaker 1:You just had to put the work into it see, and that's the thing that, that's something that, I like, strongly believe in is what you put in, is what you, what you get out um, I got here when I came back in 2019.
Speaker 1:When I came back in 2019, um, my mom had 20 that she had like folded like really cute, like behind her phone, like on her phone case, and that's what she gave me because my sister bought me the bus tickets um to to come back. After you know, I almost lost my life to like domestic violence and stuff. So my sister buys me the bus tickets and my mom's like this is what I have. She gave me 20 bucks and it was like a 20 hour drive, a bus ride, and so I technically got here with $20.
Speaker 2:Literally.
Speaker 1:I got here with $20. And four, five years later we own a home, we own two cars. I technically have my own business, like you know, influencing and all the affiliate. Yeah, and but I literally put in the work every single day, no matter like Saturday, sunday, my birthday, all of that, like I'm always looking for ways to grow um, or going to network events, like we have three kids.
Speaker 1:It's hard to go to those events, but every single time I try to make it there. Um, we've started our own businesses that then we've left, like the car detailing the photography. That is how great this country is that you can explore whatever you want, like you can, you can, it's open, it's open. Go for it, put in the work and you're going to see the results.
Speaker 2:The book is blank. You're going to. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And in other countries you don't have that opportunity. You're very limited. Also because the moment I mean, didn't my brother explain to you the other day? He's like, if you're in mexico riding around in that truck, if somebody wants it, they're gonna drag you out of it because they want to because, because they have more power yeah, like literally I drive a truck that where he's from.
Speaker 2:That if they see four by four they're gonna take it from you and it's like you can't call the authorities. You can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't Like.
Speaker 2:What are you going to do about it here, man? Yeah, you call a cop. That's why I'm like man, you know, we live in such an amazing place. Something's going on. You dial the 911. They get there. You know, within a reasonable time there, you know, within a reasonable time, they will lay down their life for you. Yeah, like. Yeah, there's bad apples everywhere.
Speaker 2:But I remember one time I was driving home from gila bend, working at the power plants, working 12 hour days. Yeah, I kind of got a little nervous so I jumped behind somebody so he pulled me over for tailgating. Right, you know, in those times it was like 2018, you know, you couldn't get pulled over if you're like a person of color. Well, I got pulled over right, right in front of the prison and he asked me you know, do you have any weapons? Yeah, it's right underneath. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:And all he did, you know, asked me to get out and ran my name real quick, seeing that, you know, everything was legit. He went about his way, like you know what I'm saying. He obviously had to do his job because, you know, I did get behind that car and I tailgate or whatever. So, but he's seen. Everything was clean. You know it's like, they're like man. There's so many great things about this country that people don't talk about. Yeah, it's not perfect, like anywhere else, but if we just emphasize the small stuff, like you know, yeah it's tragic, people are getting deported, but that's been going on, not only that.
Speaker 2:But there's actual criminals that are with like court orders that people are stopping is like, if I break the law I'm going to jail. Yeah, like that's plain and simple. If I do fraud, if I do X, y, z, I'm going to jail and I can't run to another country and do that because they had that scapegoat. Like, hey, if I'm not running from here, I do something wrong, or something like that. Just like our other brother-in-law got rear-ended west side of Phoenix the car yeah, I'm going to pull over and they take off. You know, you don't got to be Albert Einstein to figure that out. You know that's no insurance or no papers, that's not discriminating, it's just the truth. It's like people like that and I'm not saying that's everybody, it's just you know they can. You know, just vanish.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, we, if we commit something, we're going going to jail, we're being held accountable versus you can't just boogie out to mexico like that exactly, and I feel like that's where people don't don't see like they're.
Speaker 1:They're just, they have so much emotion build up when they hear that word right, like you know, police or immigration, things like that and it's like guys like. It's like, like you mentioned, my, my mother, was deported at a court hearing. This was in 2013. So like, yeah, right now the news is playing that there is ice at these court hearings and people are just bamboozled Like they think that that has never existed. And it's like in 2013,. My mother, like presented herself at a court and she came out in handcuffs by ICE in 2013.
Speaker 1:And they dropped her off at the border, huh and they dropped her off Like there is nothing new going on. This has been going on, but now there's a lot more of social media. You know we have to talk. There's people recording everywhere and I feel like back then there, it wasn't a lot of that. But just here to tell you guys that this has been a thing for a long time. In 2013, my mother was deported from a court hearing. Um, so I my mother was deported from a court hearing. So I feel like we have to really like know when it's time for like our emotions and when it's time for like facts and stuff. And I think people were really getting like irritated with me when, like I wasn't giving them what they wanted to hear. They wanted me to. You know, like they wanted wanted to hear, they wanted me to.
Speaker 1:You know, like they wanted you to be on the front lines yeah, and marching and just and that, and that's the thing I feel like a lot of like influencers literally finesse their own so here's the thing when, when like that started happening, I started like putting together this puzzle that a lot of influencers it was almost like they were reading off of a script Like that to me that's what it sounded like and since people wanted me to come out and talk, I made a short video mentioning a lot of the things that I mentioned right now. I just made it shorter, but I was like hey, you guys, guys, aren't gonna get out of me like, oh, I don't, I don't like it here, I don't want to.
Speaker 1:I, I don't like this country things like that because everything that I have now like I wouldn't have been able to do that anywhere else like this country just gave me so many opportunities and, like you said, we're so blessed to be born here. We're so lucky literally because you're very limited to things in in other countries. So you're not gonna get like all this hate stuff out of me because I don't hate it here.
Speaker 1:I don't hate this country um all the opposite of course my heart is with people that are suffering or people that get like separated from families when it's not, you know, fair, when it's done like the wrong way, things like that, um. But that's not gonna make me not want to be here or it's not going to make me, um, go and and riot and go like destroy my own community yeah, exactly you know, um, and, and that's where people really need to learn how to separate, like your feelings and your facts and and things like that and honestly leave people alone when it comes to these.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're like harass and it's like check this out. So I think we were in middle school and I was bad. I was academically good, but once I started hanging out with the wrong people, I just went downhill. So I seen that the high schoolers were ditching and their helicopter was following them. That was during the SB 1070 protest. So me, I jumped the fence and joined them. We literally walked from 75th and Indian school all the way to the capital. That's a long ways, but the crazy thing about it, I didn't know what I was marching for. I just tagged along like and I'm pretty sure in these crowds there's a lot of me's running around in there just for the cause. You don't even know what's going on. You just know that, that you know they're passing laws against us and you got to turn up and all this and that I mean we weren't like destroying property, we just literally walked over there.
Speaker 2:And you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but it's like if I could go back, I wouldn't have left school. I wish I could have stayed in school. I wish I would have took school more serious. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I'm just like that's a free education, but it's also paid by the people that wake up every day and hit it hard. You know people that wake up every day and hit it hard. You know Exactly.
Speaker 2:So it's like everybody puts their part in here. You know what I'm saying. So it's like whatever you put in, you can get out, and it don't matter what background you're from race, religion, you can get it. I mean, just look at it. It's kind of this newer generation that cries and complains. But if you go back to our parents and grandparents, they came here not even knowing Spanish I mean no English and they came and just worked hard and made a life. To this day, a lot of them still don't even talk English. So it's like they don't even speak. And it's like USA doesn't have a technical language but it's predominantly English. But in the southern states it's predominantly, you know, a lot of Latinos. So it's like they can make a life in a nation that they don't even speak the language technically and they like it's just crazy.
Speaker 2:We're so blessed to be here, but it's like we don't forget where we come from. I love being Mexican American, like I love having a great work, ethic, show up and just try to outwork everybody respectfully. But it's, like you know, we love to grind, but it's also we have to work smarter. Yeah, now, you know, obviously have the work ethic, but we also have to look for better opportunities, educating ourselves and separating emotion from logic and, like you know, we had to continue to educate ourselves. And yet you have every right to stand up for yourself and your community, because that's your, that's your rights here, that's your god-given rights, those are your amendments, like we. Just we had to really protect this place and, you know, make the most out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one thing that I'm like. You know, those are your rights, go protest, beautiful right. But the moment, like I started seeing I mean not even that far from our house people stole a police car, literally people stole a police car, literally like and and you guys are saying how things are being so like they're unfair and this that like, and then you guys are out here doing things like making things worse, making things look absolutely worse. Um, and that's where I was like no like for one it's not safe.
Speaker 1:I have three kids to come home to, like people lost their lives. Some like there was states that people lost their lives, like in these riots protests, and I'm like absolutely not. I have kids to come home to.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry yeah like, as you, you guys can call me selfish, a traitor, all of these names, but it's like, at the end of the day, I'm a mom yeah so and you can't sit there and tell me oh, just because you know it's, it's not your fight doesn't mean like that, you, you can't be in it for us, or you know things like that. And it's like dude, like it's, it's been my fight yeah I literally came home to no mom literally and and my dad had already also like been deported, but that's a whole other like story. He had to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so let's go Ship him back, yeah him, send him back.
Speaker 1:But, like my mom, we came home to no mom. So, yes, I know exactly what it is and she didn't have it easy.
Speaker 1:She had to work two jobs, take care of five kids just how everybody always says like oh you know, if they're um, they're taking the hard workers and this, and that my mom always had two jobs, always had two jobs. And again like things weren't fair for her. And but that's not gonna make me hate it here, because, also because I've already lived somewhere else and I wouldn't go, I wouldn't go back, I do, I do go to me, we do go to mexico and you have the time of your life when you go back.
Speaker 2:But it's like I love it would be nice if we could go back and like visit our roots, safe, safely.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And not just treat it like a vacation.
Speaker 1:So, like I love, I love going to go visit my mom and I love going to Mexico. But, like, when I come back, it's just like this, like relief, and I love coming back Now where I used to live and where my dad lives. Now you can't go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You cannot go there, so that's like off limits and I would love to go there because I mean, I did live there for like eight years of my life.
Speaker 2:And it's beautiful over there.
Speaker 1:It's beautiful, but unfortunately you just can't. You can't go there.
Speaker 2:Okay, so, like you know, I look back and I reflect on my life. I'm always reflecting because I feel like you always have to think and you know you always got to acknowledge your mistakes too, like man. You know, did I talk to that person kind of harshly Because me I'm kind of blunt, so I'm like a lot of people get rubbed the wrong way. They're like oh, he's a jackass.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, but it's like it's all love. It's just I don't know. It's like man, when you're a hard charger sometimes you just you're like a bull in a china shop with good intentions, though you know, and you know I didn't make the best decisions when I grew up. You know, growing up, when I reflect, I think about like my parents, like when I used to play football and all that, like I feel like they were really proud and obviously when I started hanging around in the streets they were like worried about me, lost my friends to it and you know, going through a lot. I think back and I'm just like for our kids, like I want to see them live like the dream I never got to because, you know, younger, because you always want to make your parents proud, you know, and it's like making mistakes, young didn't graduate high school, got in the trades, but like it's been hard in the trades, but like you know, joining the union. I've been there almost 10 years.
Speaker 2:I make a good wage and you know, obviously we have a good wage and it's something I can always fall back on and I feel like that's not pushed a lot. It's like the trades If you don't want to go to school, join the trades, you make good money and it's like, even though I made a lot of mistakes while I was young, like, look, you can still turn it around and you can still make it happen, because that's a lifelong skill of me becoming a mechanical insulator. I have that in my books. I have a journeyman's card. I can leave the union and come back and I still make a great wage. I don't have to start at the bottom and it's like I made mistakes but there's still opportunity. That's not the end-all be-all and, like you said, you came in here in 2019. By four years, you already had a house. No less how much.
Speaker 1:Three.
Speaker 2:In two years, I was able to get my Two years apartment and then basically another two years of house, brand new house. And you know you used to laugh when I used to be on Zillow in our apartment and you know it's like when I was going through school, like we struggled. Oh yeah, there's times you, I would make more on the check, but with everything they take away from me, you would technically make more. I just had a higher wage. It's just all the deductions. Yeah, like not seeing the money.
Speaker 2:Going through school, going through all the bullshit, you know, yeah, you know how the trades are. They treat you rough, you know. But you got to go through the fire to become golden. I'm glad I look back. I'm glad those old school cats were hard on me because it gave me that work ethic, made me more resilient. And then now you know I could show the younger generation that's coming up in the trade Like you got to have a work ethic. But you know what I mean. You can't be a gatekeeper, you know. Yeah, and it's like me going through school boom, boom, boom. Then I finally turned out, then I finally started seeing the money and when you're, you took time off work, I was holding it down with the job, with my job and you know, just really becoming a team.
Speaker 2:This place literally gives you endless opportunities. But but also, we can't just bear these burdens by herself. Always seek his righteousness, because you feel like there's a lot of us that feel like we don't fit in in this world and it's like, because we're not of this world, we're just here for a short time, and it's like, just like King Solomon, if you seek knowledge and wisdom, everything else will come to you. But growing up in our culture, there's no people that teach us wisdom or philosophy, or there's no stoic man, no more. I don't know. I know good, hardworking men, but not the stoic ones that you know. Dive deep into philosophy and just like when, growing up, when did somebody tell you hey, that's a lot of attraction, oh, never.
Speaker 1:You never heard that.
Speaker 2:But growing up, you know when you're headed down the right path, you come across stuff like that, Like I remember I used to literally drive to work, listening to you know Napoleon Hill, you know stuff like that Thinking, Grow Rich and using, instead of hearing rap, music, music in general, driving to work I'm listening to. Like knowledge, yeah, Because when you thirst for knowledge, it'll come to you. You know, yeah, and it's like in this land, it don't matter if you're a reject or what. If you're the black sheep of the family, you could be the goat of the family.
Speaker 2:Well, I've always felt you could turn it around and you're a perfect example, because nobody believed in you when you were a kid. Yeah, and it's like look at me now. It's like the works that. You know all the trials and tribulations you went through and you're like man, she ain't gonna be nothing, she ain't going to amount to nothing. And then boom, it's like you see the glow up.
Speaker 1:That's literally what it was like my entire life. I think also being like my family always called me the rebel of the family. Because I say again, like I was like setting like kind of boundaries and stuff, and to them it was like you're bad, you're bad you're bad, but I was like I really I could call people out how it was, but sometimes it's just like just don't do it, like there's families that are like no you know, just let anything like slide by, and I feel like.
Speaker 1:I've always been the person to like call.
Speaker 2:call it how it is right, in front of you and to people, to my family, call it how it is right in front of you and to people, to my family, it was always like I was attitude rebel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had an attitude. I was a rebel because I would like call things out um things like that I was. I mean, I dropped out of high school and I think that was like that did it for like everybody. I think when that happened, like after I had Kevin and then I dropped out of high school, I would I stopped going to like family events, like family work stuff, because, like, everybody would just like look at me like over their shoulder yeah like I was literally nothing.
Speaker 1:And then when I went to Mexico it was like worse. It was like no, like she's literally I was nothing, I was nothing. That was literally how I felt. And then on throw on top like being in, like in a domestic, like violence, like household and stuff, like it just made everything worse. And again comes to show how great it is here that I got here with 20 to my name and my plan.
Speaker 1:Like I was like if my sister doesn't take me in, I'm gonna go look into a shelter. That was my thought. I was like I'm going to, I'm going to take like the nearest, like the the bus to like the nearest like shelter downtown, and I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to be safe. You know, I came here because I knew I was going to be safe away from that person that was causing all that harm to me. So, um, but luckily my sister took me in and but like we said in the previous episode, she her rules.
Speaker 1:You know, you can be here for a year you need to figure it out and because she knows she, she knows that that's possible. If you're not just spending your money, if you're dialed in, if you're working, you can make it happen yeah, working, so working towards your goals, you know, in nine months I was able to move out to my apartment.
Speaker 1:Um, I had bought a car. Yes, it was like an old car or whatever, but it was literally taking me from point A to B. I wasn't walking in the heat anymore, and all of that in less than a year, in less than a year to have your apartment, your car, all of this that I couldn't do in eight years in another country you cannot make me hate this place yeah because I was able to do that and when, when I had that, when I had the apartment and then my car, I was like what else?
Speaker 1:that's like I literally I got here and in less than a month I started working at Goodwill and then, a month later, I have two jobs. I'm working at Amazon and two months later I quit both of those jobs to go into a better job.
Speaker 2:Better paying.
Speaker 1:And and then like all of these things like so, if you like, that's one thing. If you just get up and go get it like there's so much out here for you and, like you said, it doesn't matter your color, like your race, whatever, like, if you get up and you make it happen, it's going to happen. Stop whining. We have this great place, we have these great opportunities.
Speaker 2:We're not limited here no we're free and free to do whatever you want, and it's like whatever, like if you're just gonna waste your life. It is what it is like, the that the world is gonna keep on turning. But it's like, while you're here, leave your mark. Because, you know, I truly believe that both of us were sent to break certain generational curses that's been holding us back. Yeah, and maybe you, being young, your parents didn't see that, because they're not like, they don't thirst for knowledge like that. They didn't see that you're a righteous one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that came to change their generations. You know, because obviously they're hard workers. Man, I wouldn't change my parents a million times over. Pick them every single time. You know what I mean. But, like, whatever they lacked, we had to, you know, get better at. And then we're not perfect. Our kids have to get better than us. You know, the student always has to surpass the teacher.
Speaker 2:You know, if things are done right and that's the beauty of life is, you know, progressing and just evolving and be like man, that person from 2015,. He don't exist no more. Like I'm a whole other creation, like I'm evolving, and we just have to really take advantage of the time we're here and the opportunities. But we also have to stand up for what's right, and this country gives us this ability with our God given rights. You have the right to assembly, the right to bear arms. You know the right to assembly, the right to bear arms. You know the right to no. You know, no, they can't enter your home illegally, you know. So it's like we're so protected here and it's like the saying goes once weak men are around and we create hard times like this, we're like, yeah, the world's upside down. When we grew up up, none a lot of the problems we have are wouldn't exist, because most of it's just common sense. Yeah, and just like our parents said, you know, you got to wake up and get it.
Speaker 2:But nowadays people just want, like, a free check yeah you want to stand around and make the same as this guy and it's like you know, we've had that problem our whole life, working harder than everybody we show up to a job site. This guy and it's like you know, we've had that problem our whole life working harder than everybody we show up to a job site this guy's just making two more bucks because he's snitching on everybody, especially in the trades, like I'm like literally came in, they fired two guys. I'm literally doing what two guys have done production-wise because now the boss is happy, stuff's getting done, he doesn't have to worry anymore because he got a competent person around. So it's like.
Speaker 2:But it's also it's a if you have a man like seek a mentor, guys like me, looking back, I wish I would have like cried out for that a mentor, because when you give up on sports, my dad was busy working swing shift. My dad was great dad, but he wasn't there after school so I was in the streets. My mama was always sick so she couldn't go look for me, so I'd run the streets all day long after school. But it's like if you have a coach or a mentor, somebody leads you in the right direction. You kind of avoid a lot of hardships. Obviously, you have to go through your trials and tribulations, but I think us too is like we always try to put people on game like, hey, I was in that same shoes, but here's my advice. I would suggest you to do this or this, but that's just my suggestion yeah you know, I've been there before.
Speaker 2:So it's like and we're, we're, and we're not biased. We treat everybody like the way we wish we got treated when we needed somebody. The way I say, it is like we're the beacons of light. We're like the lighthouse that's shining into the sea when ships are lost. You know, it's like you have to be that beacon of light, because people get lost in this world with finances and, just you know, maybe they're get devastated a lot and they just give up. Yeah, like us that are anchored and and more resilient, we have to be those beacons of light and it's like, hey, man, I did it, you can do it too. We come from the same beginnings. I know you might not have as much mental resilience, but I can help you, I can support you.
Speaker 1:You know if, if you need words of encouragement, I'm right here for you, brother and I think I think, as much as it sucks that we had to go through that, I'm kind of grateful and glad that we had to go through that so our kids don't have to go through that because I feel like, because you know we have the trauma and stuff of our parents.
Speaker 1:You know, being so busy, like working things like that me too, I I don't have memories with my mom yeah like it's very weird when, like when me and my sisters like sit down, we don't talk about things like that we did.
Speaker 1:Do you remember this Christmas no, my mind is a blur for Christmas because we were by ourselves waiting for my mom to get home from her second shift. Like I don't, I don't want to remember my childhood. So I'm glad that I had to go through that, so the kids don't have to go through that, because now I know exactly what you know I. I don't want to throw it all on my mom too, because it was her. It's her first time living too, yeah, but it's like now I'm like I know that the kids need my time more than the money, than all of that. I'm blessed and I'm grateful that I'm able also to give them all these things. But I'm glad that I'm able to do all of this like at home and we were able to spend more time with them. Yes, like you have, you know, a job where you physically have to go into, but you know you're home by 1 pm, 3 pm and you can spend that time with them.
Speaker 1:I feel, like our parents were just like work, work, work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was no time.
Speaker 1:There was no time.
Speaker 2:So it kind of ties back to again like all of the opportunities that we have, you can do whatever you want to do, as long as you get up and work for it and just make things better for our kids and the next generations yeah, it's like tomorrow we're going camping, like we've been basically consistently camping for four years straight now in a place where I grew up, camping, like it's so beautiful, the traditions here that you could have and celebrating, yeah, for For a lot of us, that 4th 1776, like the people, you know, the people truly have the power here.
Speaker 2:You know, and we can never forget that. You know, and that day, and it's not only that, the people that laid their life for this country, selflessly, like paid the ultimate sacrifice, like we can never repay them for that sacrifice. And you know, you can't let that die in vain. And I'm proud to be born here, but I'm also proud to be Mexican, but you know, the people that gave their life to this country, like you know, to me this weekend is so special, like I'm going to tell you something really quick, before we start wrapping it up, that I was actually like thinking I think 4th of July it's gonna it's gonna make some people really upset.
Speaker 1:but I think 4th of July has to be like my favorite holiday, because it's finally like a holiday, like I was telling you when we first started. I can, we go camp, we unplug, like we're literally out there and we're having the best time, our kids are having the best time, we're making s'mores and just everything slows down. And it's not like about like how every other holiday it's giving Valentine's, giving dinner, christmas giving dinner, like all of this, like gifts and stress and all of this. And I feel like fourth of july is like the only holiday where, like, I'm not stressed yeah, you're enjoying your time.
Speaker 1:I enjoy the time and as, like you know, like I said, people will get get annoyed by that, but it's literally my favorite holiday.
Speaker 2:I would say I look forward to it and you know we're truly free here and the opportunities here. You have every right to stand up for what you believe in. But as far as us, we're very grateful to be here. We love where we come from, but we also love where we're from. We love it here, like yeah this land has given us so much opportunity and hopefully one day we're able to go back to Mexico and truly visit it, not just treat it like a vacation.
Speaker 2:You know yeah, like truly you know, be there like you know, freely, like we're here because I, truly because I feel like you got to be like on point over there, because you just never know well, I was like recently talking to my dad and and I asked him like about his sisters and things like that.
Speaker 1:They're usually like pretty good at getting together like every two weeks and he's like, well, it's been 10 months. He's like that, we can't have, you can't have gatherings oh man in in state where he lives, like if they see a gathering, um, they're going to break that up, like immediately, or there's, like you know, bad things can happen, yeah.
Speaker 1:There's, there's a curfew, so, um, again, like that's not, that's not freedom. And I hope that one day like that can change and I hope that, instead of like people being upset of like what we're proud of, I hope that people can take a little bit of it and and see like both sides.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, hey, I've already been, I've already lived in both countries, I'm a dual citizen, I know what it's like and I wouldn't change this for anything. I'm proud to be Mexican-American, and that's it.
Speaker 2:Yep, I'm proud to be Mexican-American is it's what makes us like we have to embrace it. We acknowledge you know our roots, but we also acknowledge, you know, being blessed to be born here. And you know, guys, you can truly make whatever you want of yourself in this land and just hit it hard, like wake up every day and truly treat it like it's your last, it's you have to be grateful, it's I get to do this. Oh, I have to go to work. I get to go to work. I get to, you know, come home to my kids. I get to get in my car. Like, guys, we truly had to take advantage of this gift that we call life. So I believe in you, the good Lord believes in you. So, you know, once this message reaches you, I hope you can work towards your goals Because, like I heard before, you're successful as long as you're progressively working towards your goal.
Speaker 2:I don't care what that is. As long as you're going from A to B, if you're in the middle, you're successful. You're progressively working towards your goal. So, by that definition, you're successful. So, as long as you're working and grinding, you know you're successful. Don't let nobody get to you or criticize you. You know you're truly a blessing, you're one of one and you're unique in your own ways. And just hit it hard. We only get one life and we love you, guys. We truly love our community. So it's like, hey, we're not picking sides, we're on the side of the truth. We love our community and, you know, we love our land. So let's be united instead of fighting and being divided. Let's do it the right way, guys, and you know what I mean Stick up for what's right, and that's your God-given ability, you know.
Speaker 1:I think that's the most important thing, you know. Stay united Whenever you are feeling like overwhelmed, you know so. I think that's the most important thing, you know. Stay united um whenever you are feeling like overwhelmed. You know, talk about it, talk about it reach out to us. Yeah, um, our dms are always open, but I hope that you guys like this episode and we'll see you guys next time later.