Real Love, Real Life
Real Love Real Life dives into the unfiltered reality of relationships—dating, marriage, heartbreak, healing, and everything in between. It's honest talk about love and life, filled with real stories, hard truths, and the kind of laughs that come from lived experience.
No fluff, just facts, feelings, and a whole lot of growth.
Real Love, Real Life
EP 11: Who Really Thrives When Birth Rates Drop?
Birthrates are at historic lows, but behind the numbers are real families and real choices. Jasmine and Ernesto open up about their own family, three kids and two losses and explore how economics, culture, and personal conviction shape whether people have children.
From housing costs and childcare struggles to delayed fertility and the loss of community support, they dig into the challenges of starting or growing a family today. Jasmine also shares her teen pregnancy story and the support that helped her make a life-changing decision.
This episode is full of honest conversations about readiness, fertility, relationships, and the meaning of family.
Subscribe, share, and join the discussion: what’s the biggest factor shaping your view on having kids right now?
Hey guys, welcome back to Real Love Real Life Podcast. I'm your host, Jasmine.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm Ernesto.
SPEAKER_04:How are you?
SPEAKER_01:I'm good. How about yourself?
SPEAKER_04:I'm good. We have an interesting topic today. Um, so today we're talking about something that isn't just like affecting our family, but the future of this country.
SPEAKER_01:And the world.
SPEAKER_04:And the world. Um America is experiencing the lowest birth rate in history.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. It's declining.
SPEAKER_04:And the reason why I chose this podcast is the other day we were were we driving home from the podcast. And you were like, I can't believe that. I just have one like biological son. Yeah. Like one kid. You know, your dad had six.
SPEAKER_01:Something like that. We got a secret life.
SPEAKER_04:Six. Like my mom had five. I think my dad has like 11. Um, with three different women.
SPEAKER_00:Damn.
SPEAKER_04:So it just it almost seems like as like the generations like go, it just like it gets lower and lower. Like it's even sometimes you can even tell somebody you have three kids, and they're like, You got a TV or something? And I'm like, it's just three. I could have five. So I don't know. I just feel like now it's just so common to see one maybe be two, maybe two, maybe two.
SPEAKER_01:You're pushing it, way pushing it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know. I think to me personally, it's kind of sad.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's a little bit sad. Um, and Ernesto and I are pro-life. Um, we have three beautiful children, and we've lost two babies. Um, very sad. But so this topic is very like personal, very touchy. Um, and it's not like, you know, we don't want to make it about politics or you should do this or you should think this way. Um, I just, you know, before we start, I respect everybody's perspective. We we're just sharing like ours. Yeah. You know? So I know you have like some facts written down about you know, the birth rates being so low and all that. So I'll let you take over.
SPEAKER_01:So compared to like the 1950s versus now, in the 1950s, families were people women were having at least four to five kids on the average. Now you're lucky to get to in the 50s. In the 50s, and it makes sense because my dad was born in 1954, and I remember the the last time we went hunting, he he went all of his cousins went, and like there was a lot of people there hunting. Everybody's family had five to six kids.
SPEAKER_02:Really?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like my dad's brothers, there's like five of them. His cousins, same thing, there's about five of them. Like, it's just like after especially like after the world wars, like people started having kids, you know, like crazy, the baby boom.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:People were going crazy.
SPEAKER_04:I wonder if it's like uh just like a Mexican thing then. I feel like like at least like our our family, my mom's and my dad's um 50s and 60s, it was like it might be like a uh Latino thing. Um, my grandma, I think, had 16. 16 kids. Yeah, my my dad's mom had 11, I think. That's a lot. That's that's that's insanely a lot. Like, how how are you even doing it at that point?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so and like also like as far I think I read as far as like the Hispanics and the Asians, I think we're declining, but not as fast as other demographics. So everybody's kind of like slowing down, yeah. But I guess we're still kind of a little bit above the average.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Still not what it was. So I guess in 1990, 108, you know, 108 women out of a thousand were having kids in 1990, and now in as of 2021, 63 out of a thousand. So that's like a significant drop. Um, also the main one of the big things, the teen, teen, like from 15 to 44, that was that I guess that's like the lower, lower side. I guess that's a record low too.
SPEAKER_04:So it's like teen pregnancy?
SPEAKER_01:Not in this well, when I was looking it up, it it had 15 through 44, like on the younger side. Yeah. So I guess that age group, like, significantly not reproducing as much. So a lot of groups are dying faster than they're reproducing, and I guess with that, you put a strain on health care because you know there's more older people than younger people, more less younger people to be contributing taxes to contribute to you know the services and more strain, so you know, it's not just like somebody to carry your last name, it yeah, it affects everybody.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it also changes the cultures and demographics of countries.
SPEAKER_04:That makes sense. Um, and when you say like less teen pregnancies, um I've like asked around, like, you know, people that I know that have like kids in high school and stuff. Um, I also asked our son, I was like, have you seen like any any is there any pregnant girl? Because they're easy to spot, like at school. And he's like, no, nobody's pregnant, like at my school. And then um I asked my cousin. She was like, I asked my son, he said that he hasn't seen anybody and he goes to a bigger school. Um, and I'm like, that's crazy because when I was in high school and I was pregnant, I think there was like a pregnant girl in every single class.
SPEAKER_01:No way.
SPEAKER_04:Like with me, like there was a lot. I mean, don't get me wrong, we we lived in the hood. Um, I feel like there's more, like you see more of that um there, but there was like a pregnant girl almost in every class.
SPEAKER_01:Which with you saying that brings us to another point. Studies show, I guess, that the lower an education somebody has, the more fertile they are and more kids they have. And the higher of an education you have, the less, the less kids you have.
SPEAKER_02:What?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Crazy.
SPEAKER_04:So, okay, like did me and like me versus like my sister, like we proved that study. Like me, I like I'm a high school dropout, and I have I've had five pregnancies, and like my sister had She was still a teen though. Well, she was 18.
SPEAKER_01:18.
SPEAKER_04:I was 13.
SPEAKER_01:Five years. I mean, 18's still pretty young.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean, you yeah, that's still like crazy young. Even like now that if I think about it, like I can't even imagine my kids at 18 having kids, they're babies. But I don't know, I guess compared to me, it was.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it was something like that. I should have paid attention to it a little bit more, but yeah. I guess the higher, like an a more educated woman has less kids.
SPEAKER_04:Interesting.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, because they tend to focus more on their careers and they're kind of just too busy grinding, which there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. But it also makes sense logically, you know, they're just devoted to their craft, they're devoted. Yeah. Because there's women that are just they work hard, man. You gotta respect their hustle. You know, um, it's not just huffing and puffing and shoveling, and you know, there's women out here getting it, you know. So a highly devoted woman is, you know, very efficient. And especially if she's college college educated, she's gonna tend to focus more on that. And also if she's more educated, she's gonna be like, do I really want to bring a kid into these kind of circumstances? You know what I'm saying? So I guess education also has to tie in a lot into birth rate.
SPEAKER_04:That makes sense.
SPEAKER_01:And then another fact roughly 372,000 kids are born every single day.
SPEAKER_04:Even like now with the birth rate so low?
SPEAKER_01:That's still a lot though.
SPEAKER_04:That's still a lot of kids. Like in the world?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, in the world.
SPEAKER_04:I wonder how much it is in the in the US. You should have looked that up. Um, okay, so that that brings us to like, wait, sorry, were you were you finished? Okay. Um you saying that like, you know, women that have an education and all that have less kids, all of that. So do you think that like the financial like pressure is kind of like what has us here? Like the raising cost of like housing, groceries, childcare, all of that, or like what what what do you think it is as a male?
SPEAKER_01:Why the birth rate?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, like why is it low?
SPEAKER_01:Like, do you think it has to do like with like the cost of the I feel like I feel like over the past years a lot of like the nuclear family has been attacked? Like they're just like, I feel like incentives for a woman to leave a man, you know, like the hot girl culture, like just dudes and not being competent, like the whole structure is just upside down nowadays.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like, and having a f family is hard, so it's it's not easy. You definitely gotta sacrifice, absolutely, and I think a lot of people nowadays they're not willing to sacrifice their time, their pleasure, yeah, and just overall their life by you know raising another human being. Yeah, that's why so many people have dogs now, or like some type of like emotional support animal.
SPEAKER_04:At this point, I don't know who who takes more of my energy sometimes, though. The kids or these dogs.
SPEAKER_01:I know. So that's like that's why they substituted because that's nothing's equivalent to another human being.
SPEAKER_04:It's just like pap, I'll be home in eight hours.
SPEAKER_01:That's like the closest companion you can have as a human, is other than a human being is an animal, you know. So um, I think a lot of things just tie in, like just a lot of guys ain't raised to be competent, you know, God fearing, you know, look look after the community, be that unk. We need more unks in the community. There's no more. As a youngsters will say, there's no more unks. And uh obviously the cost of living is just insane. You know what I'm saying? It's not impossible, but if you come from the hood, if you come from poverty, it it is difficult, but yeah, you if you didn't come from a rich dad, you had to be the rich dad. Like the same, you know, apothyctal days where you know you're running through the jungle and they're just throwing spears at you. Yeah. Or you're you know, in the 1800s, you're shackled to a chain. You know what I'm saying? It's yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Now they want V-Bucks and Wingstones.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. Obviously, nowadays the new slavery's debt and all this and that, but like you you can truly, you know, achieve a lot.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And that's what makes it better if if you can build up your life and then have kids and then just build an empire, you know?
SPEAKER_04:Mm-hmm. Okay, so I actually read that families now need 40% more income than 10 years ago.
SPEAKER_02:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:And that's crazy because I feel like honestly, I I don't know how like single parents do it. We both bring in like a decent amount of like income, and it's hard. Like at the end of the month, you're just like scratching your head, like, what happened? It's it's hard. I my mom was a single mom of five. She would go to the grocery store, fill it to the top, and with like, I don't know, a hundred bucks.
SPEAKER_01:So the people that say it's like the financial burden, like we don't have money, we're poor, or we're you know, we don't have enough. What about our parents? What about our grandparents that raised 15 kids on the ranch? Well, see with no electricity and you had to go poop in the in the the outhouse or whatever they're called.
SPEAKER_04:Like, yes, I think it's possible, but it's just not like it's not doable like now because obviously we don't live in these ranch outside.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I was about to just say that it's because they were more like sustainable, they had food, they had, you know, now it's like we and that's what I was talking to one of my co-workers. I was like, I feel like us as Hispanics, we lost a lot of wealth. No, I was talking to my barber, the lady, but you know, my my Spanish is all chopped. So I over here got a Google translate, and uh I'm like, we lost a lot of wealth by coming to another country and restarting. I was like, like my grandpa, three ranches, all kinds of this and that. And it's like over here, not only did it re-reset, it's every man for himself.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that like same with us because my mom's parents, um, they were pretty like they they were doing good and made.
SPEAKER_00:They had wealth. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So, so fun fact, fun fact, not so fun. My grandpa, my mom, my mom's dad actually left a ranch of 998 acres. Almost almost a thousand acres. He left, I think it was 1,500 cows.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:Um, I don't know, like it had to be like 40 to 50 horses, pigs, like it was like an insane like amount. My grandma, she her like dream when she was young, it was to, she wanted to be, she still wanted to be at home, but she wanted to be bringing in money too. Well, like my grandpa, because his ranch was like, I think it was like three hours from where they lived. So he built her a little store and like a little grocery store. My grandma's little grocery store, like in Spanish, you say Abarrote. Um, it's like a little convenience store, convenience store. And um she was the only store in I don't know how many um like little towns around. So you can only imagine. They say my mom says that there was people outside waiting for her to open in the mornings.
SPEAKER_01:That's badass.
SPEAKER_04:Like she there, they were doing so, so good. And then and then I don't know, like some, but my grandpa was doing all of that because he wanted like his kids to keep it going and all this stuff, and and then it just all it all went to poop. So the ranch is still a thing, but they say that there's not one living animal on it right now. It's like when the hyenas took over, yeah, and the stores no longer like a thing, so everybody kind of like came over here and kind of wanted to like explore explore over here, and it was like my grandpa did all that so you guys can take over and make it bigger and better, and then you know, I I don't know. That's it. I don't know. Now maybe I'm just going somewhere else with this topic, but like kind of like what you're saying, you know, they they came over here looking for for what?
SPEAKER_01:Like for what you were already over there, like building wealth, building wealth, and but that ties into the I guess the culture part of it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I guess that, yeah, exactly. Culture. Um and then that I was ahead of myself. That was like my my next one, like cultural shifts, um career first. Women want to be like, you know, independent, focused. They're like boss babe, boss babe, and which to each their I'm not saying that's like that that's like how to do it, but me, I feel like I was like called on this earth to be a mother. I I truly feel oh yeah, I do other stuff like other than that, but I will 100% drop anything at any point in time.
SPEAKER_01:Is there anything in this world that's like you feel more satisfaction from? Like the biggest check you got in, or the best clothes you've worn, or the trip, or do like stuff being a mother's lot, like the biggest look, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:The only thing every single night when I like go to bed uh I'm laying there and all I can think about sometimes, sometimes I want to go in the boys' rooms and like lay down with them and just like hug them. Like some days I'm like, did I not give them like did was I too wrapped up like you know, creating content today? Was I like upset because the kitchen, the countertops were cluttered? Like I literally like at the end of the day, that is what's in my mind. Like I want to go and lay down and and like hug them and and sometimes be like, hey, like I'm I'm sorry if I, you know, if if I was pooped today, like if my energy was just not it. And that's the only thing. I never, I never go to bed thinking, like, is the video gonna go viral? Is is am I doing this? Am I doing that? Every single day I lay down thinking, like, did I do my part like as a mother today?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And sometimes I feel like I don't, and that's when like my my guilt comes in and I want to go like cuddle them at night.
SPEAKER_01:That's good.
SPEAKER_04:What about you?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I feel the same. I feel like it feels good knowing that you know you come home to your family every night and your kids are happy. And I was reading something when I was scrolling the other day that when the kids become like chatter boxes at the end of the night, I guess that's like sublimely, like like them showing that they're comfortable and you know they're they're vulnerable, you know.
SPEAKER_02:Sorry, what is that? What what did you say?
SPEAKER_01:Chitter chatter boxes, chatterboxes, like you know how they just start talking about like the most random stuff, like like when they're still awake, they just start ranting, like when they're still awake, okay. You're like, go to sleep. Yeah, I guess that's like a sign that they're you know vulnerable and like happy, secure.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So it's like I read that and I was like, man, I was like, our kids do that all the time. They just they sometimes they get goofy, they get all goofy.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, that the giggling all every single day. Every single day, like right before bed. It's just like they sound like minions giggling for no reason. And I'm like, it's like it's bedtime, or you know what else they'll do? They'll come in the room, huh, and be like, oh, like they're they're literally supposed to be sleeping already. It's 9 30, and they come in the room and they're like, oh, last thing. You know what happened in my class today? Yeah, like my teacher didn't let me go to the bathroom, so I walked out. Like, it'll be conversations like that, and I'm like, we literally just spent like six hours together, and you didn't tell me that. That that's funny, I didn't know that. Yeah, um, okay, so is it your turn now? I'm lost.
SPEAKER_01:No, go ahead.
SPEAKER_04:No, what's on your second one? So you had your facts, and then um, because I don't think I'm supposed to be on this page yet.
SPEAKER_01:Are you ready for the Smush Morse?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Did you ever think about the Smush Mores when you were young?
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_01:Um like it didn't cross your mind at all?
SPEAKER_04:It never crossed my mind, it crossed other people's minds for me. Um, and till this day it still makes me very emotional and upset sometimes. Um so so I was 13 when I got pregnant with my oldest, our oldest. Um and I was I had just turned 14 when I had him. So when my mom took me to the doctor for the first time, and you know, I was 13, and obviously the doctor walks in the room and he's like, she's pregnant. Um my mom, I mean, I'm her baby. I'm literally her baby. I'm only 13 years old. Um, technically, I don't even have like a boyfriend or anything. So she this is just like literally like dropped a freaking on her. Like, and the doctor's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Like this is this is okay. Like we can we can fix this. And like my mom's like, okay, like, you know, she tries to calm down and stuff. And then um, obviously the doctor brings us, like, you know, these all of all of this paperwork. He's like, you can go here, here, here, here. Um, and you know, it'll it'll be done with. She'll just get rest for a couple days and then she could go back to school and continue to live her life like normal. And that was all I could think of. Like, after when he said that, after that, like I could just almost everything seemed like a blur. Like I could just hear him talking to my mom, but not, I'm not like understanding what he's saying. I'm just thinking about like there's a and I'm 13 at this point, okay? And all I'm thinking about is there's a human inside of me. I will not do that. Like, I will not do that. And I even thought if my mom like wants to kick me out, like when we get home, whatever she does, um, I didn't know exactly, but I knew that like there was like shelters and stuff. Um and like growing up, you know, my mom would take us. I know it has like nothing to do with it, but I was like, well, somehow I'm gonna get downtown and from there I'm gonna ask for help. You know, we had already been to like Salvation Army, we had been to like all of these places downtown. I kind of knew like my way and I was like, I'm gonna figure it out and I'm gonna end up like at a shelter and I'm just I'm gonna ask for help there. Eventually, you know, CPS would get involved and probably, you know, take me and stuff. But no, it was all opposite. When we were driving home, my mom was like, if you don't want, if you don't want to get like rid of him, um, or you know, if you don't want to get rid of the baby, like I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you like raise it. We can do it together. And that is one thing. Like, I I will say, like, I do have like a lot of like trauma, like with my mom, you know, in my childhood and all that. But like, I will say that she was like, like, she she literally gave 110% like support when I was pregnant. Like, she had your best. I was like, I'm I'm gonna get my ass whooped when I get home. Um, like, she's gonna kick me out, this and that. No, we were on, we were driving home and she's like, we can raise, we can raise the baby together. Like it'll be fine. And obviously, when people start finding out, people start having their opinions. And I had people really close to me that told my mom, like, you know, you have to go get rid of, you have to go take her to get rid of it. And and you know what, like, who was the most shocking to me that was like telling my mom to do it? My grandma. My grandma was telling my mom, like, you have to, you have to do something about this, like immediately. And but little did y'all know that when we went to my appointment, because the doctor, like the primary care doctor, he's just like, I know she's pregnant, but I don't, I can't tell like from the test how far along she is. She needs an ultrasound. Um, I I've always been irregular with like my periods, so I didn't um he was like, When was your last period? And I'm like, I don't know. Like I get it like once in a while. So when I go and get the ultrasound, as soon as the doctor puts the ultrasound machine on my stomach, he's like, Whoa, like there is a full grown baby inside you. And I was like, What? And then he puts it and he's like, Yeah, and it's a boy. So at this point, I'm like five, six months. And I think then, I think back then you'd still, I don't, I don't know if now, I actually don't know how it works, but I think that I still had the option to do it. And I and because he also gave my mom paperwork. And I remember we had those old computers, and I watched my first video of a short shin. And it made me, I sobbed. I I sat there and I cried and cried and cried because I was like, I literally look at me, I'm crying already. Um, I literally was just at an appointment a few hours prior to that, and I literally saw his heartbeat. I literally saw his little thing. And I'm like, how how is that how am I gonna get rid of him?
SPEAKER_01:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:And I was and I was 13, like, and it never no, like it did not, it never crossed my mind. Um now I think about it, and I'm like, you know, when people were telling my mom to have me do it, I'm like, I'm like, no, I I I can't imagine my life without him.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's the thing, and um, it's not to judge no one, you know, you you're someone that has a lot of mental fortitude, so you're able to persevere through a lot of difficult things. So I feel like a lot of average people, they just kind of take not the easy way out, but you know, you can see why why somebody would do it, you know, and like I said, we're not here to believe be belittle anybody, but um, yeah, it's a tough decision, but also it also comes back to a cultural thing. We have to talk to our kids about, you know, stuff like that, and not only that, like there's a lot that comes with being a parent. Yeah, and that's instilling like virtues in them and responsibility and you know, kind of like a sense, you know, like you're not just out here wandering this earth, you know, like every day wake up with a purpose, you know, and yeah, you you family, the people before you struggle to get to this point, so you owe it not only to yourself but to the family around you, the community that you live in. So it's like that's tough though, being that young. And that that was one of my questions. So that was your experience as like a 13 or 14-year-old, you know?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean, I I just I went through it. I had a good pregnancy. I had a lot of judgment like in high school. Like, well, I mean, I only went to like one year of high school. I technically you didn't even finish the ninth grade, but like, you know, I was judged a lot, obviously. Um, a lot of rumors, and I mean, I I literally went up to like the very last day. I remember just calling my mom, like, to pick me up early. I didn't, I was tell I told her that my stomach hurt obviously was my first kid. I didn't know my stomach hurt, I was having contractions. And I went to the hospital, gave birth to him, and I say it to this day. I I've had five pregnancies, um, and he's been my easiest pregnancy, and out of the three kids that we have, he's been my easiest labor and birth. That's crazy. And I was 14, I and I did it. And you know, at that time, I didn't know I was I was so young, I didn't know if like I was allowed to keep him. Like I thought like my mom was gonna have to like sign his birth certificate or something. I thought technically, like legally he had to be my mom's. Um and at that point I was like, if I didn't have my mom, even then, I don't think that I would have got oh Shmish Morchan. Like, I think I think first I would have gave him up for adoption before thinking I don't know. I don't know. I like I see my kids and I'm like, they like it sounds corny, whatever, like I I know that they have like a purpose like on this on this earth and they each have like their own personality and and I know they're supposed to be here because that's how God wanted it.
SPEAKER_01:Amen. So my last one is for us. Why do we think this conversation or this topic is important?
SPEAKER_04:Well again, I don't I'm not pushing anything on anybody. I think it's very important to me because I went through all of this, especially like so young, so many like mixed emotions, people wanting me to end it, um, other people saying, you know, give them up for adoption, other like just this whole thing, like having to go through it. So young, um and I feel like it never gets easier, but I don't even know how to like put this into words. I don't know. I just feel like if I I guess I'm scared to talk because I don't want people to think that I don't want them to have their own like opinion, you know? I'm pro-life, period. And I don't want people to think that I'm pushing something else, but I don't know how to put it into words.
SPEAKER_01:Just say that you know you believe in like creation and yeah, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
SPEAKER_04:Like that I I I believe in creation. I feel like I think that I believe that that's why like God put us on this earth is to multiply. Obviously, don't just be like rabbits, like yeah, like rabbits just like putting kids out like that, or you know, for guys, like don't be making all these babies like everywhere, but I truly believe that that's why God put us here. And and I don't know, I I I can't imagine it any other way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like you know, that's who you enjoy it with your family, yeah. And even strangers that become family. There's some people that that you know you meet later in your life that become closer to you, so you know, so it's not just we're all truly one family in this planet, man. We're all just we're all a slice of bread just toasted a different yeah, some are a little bit more toasted, some are a little bit more but in that it's like man, yeah, the main thing in this world is family. I know birthright is you gotta conceive something, but at the end of the day, that ties into family and just you know a higher sense. So, you know, I feel like that's what it means a lot to me, you know, passing on your legacy and building a community, but also creating, you know, people to be beacons of light in this world because this world is very cruel. And yeah, you know, for people like us, we're always the people that are there for people, you know. There's not really people that are there for us in a way, you know. But that's just a burden we have to bear, and you know, we just have to be what what does that one movie say? It's like we had to be the sheepdog, you know, protecting. Just I feel like as far as like my lineage, that's just what we bring to this world is just do you know, do what do do stuff for people that you wish people did for you, you know. Yeah, but don't expect nothing in return, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Nope. And before we before we close it off, so I made a post on my socials asking, um, you know, I I said birth rates are at a historic low. Like, I I want to know what your thoughts are. I'm very curious, you know. I have a pretty big following, and I was like, I have I feel like a lot of different like types of women like follow me, guys too, um, with kids, no kids, fur babies, um, all this stuff. So we have some answers, and I want to read some. Uh Kim says, I think it's feminism, cost of living, the breakdown of the nuclear family. That's what you said, men not being encouraged to be men anymore, and women believing having children is not a fulfilling job. Child support for both me, child support for both me and woman. Some women use it as hustle, while others genuinely can't get support from the father. There's so many more reasons someone might not want to have children. Ultimately, in my opinion, there isn't a career worth not creating a family as God intended for us to do. I love that, Kim.
SPEAKER_01:Um she put all those?
SPEAKER_04:That was all from her.
SPEAKER_01:Dang.
SPEAKER_04:Kim had time.
SPEAKER_01:Very good points.
SPEAKER_04:And um, I also really like this one. Uh, Tasha says, because people are being selfish and care more about finances than having kids. No one is ever truly financially ready to have a child. I'm not saying go out there and have a bunch of babies. Either be either be responsible, and kids are truly the biggest blessing you can receive. And the newer generations don't know family unit anymore. They leave the marriage or relationship over the dumbest things. No one is perfect. You choose to love someone every single day. Thank you, Tasha. I love that. Um, and I told her, I love this. Um, Amy also said, I love this. And then we had somebody say, say, you sound like you have had kids broke. Hey, hey, hey.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I what do you consider broke? Like, like I could have five dollars in my pocket and feel like I'm rich.
SPEAKER_04:Like I feel like she said, there's no, you're never financially ready. You're always going to want more. You're always gonna say, oh, like for their college, for this, for that. Like, you're never if you're waiting for the right moment to have the kids, you're you're never going to. Um, somebody says, I've had three and that's enough. I've contributed enough. I mean, she's above the average, so I mean, yeah, we'll cut you some slack, you're above the average. Um, Mama Box says, because people are worried about their finances, careers, and don't have family support like back in the day. I will say I agree.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. With the family support. It's true. I'll be thinking about my family.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, yo, I was I was telling Anessel the other day that um like my mom was the type of person we lived in a very small house. We actually lived in somebody's backhouse. And it had two like very small. It was a studio. My mom had five kids, my mom, and then somehow my mom always had somebody, somebody's kids, somebody's like cousins lived with us, my d my dad's brothers, like somebody people were always living with us. And I feel like you don't see like that type of like help anymore, that support, like, or back then you'd always, I'm not saying that you know, grandmas and stuff should be in charge of watching kids because I'm not watching kids, but I feel like back then that was more like a thing, like people didn't really have to worry that much for like childcare because like they had like the grandma, the Tia that would babysit for cheap, stuff like that. I feel like that's not a thing anymore. Like when when I was working uh a corporate job, I will say that my check was going towards my gas to drive to the office and John's baby John's child care. I was literally working to pump gas in my car and take that kid to child care.
SPEAKER_01:You just remember being like picking them up and dropping them off and being at Costco pumping gas. That's all I remember.
SPEAKER_04:That's it. From that, I didn't have no money to get my nails done, to nothing, treat myself, nada. It was I was working for that.
SPEAKER_01:That's a good one. I think that's what also attributes to the decline of the birth rate. Um, like back then, man, everybody had a grip of kids, but if somebody fell on hard times, they would go move in with the sister, the brother. Nowadays it's like figure it out. I don't know you. You sure you're my cousin?
SPEAKER_04:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04:Uh Lala says, infertility and cost of living. I will say that I think I don't know like if it's our food, I don't know what it is, but I like I feel like back then I'd get pregnant for anything. I feel like you could look at me and I'd be like, Am I pregnant? Um, and now I mean John's four, and like nothing is happening.
SPEAKER_01:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:Um, I mean, I I didn't.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, especially when I was you had got pregnant when I was 130 pounds. 160. I'm almost 170, man. Them things ain't swimming.
SPEAKER_04:Um cost of living. Um, Becca says it's so expensive to have kids. Finances are not the same. Cass says child care prices and parents having to work in order to maintain health insurance and no family support. So I it almost seems like pretty much it's all again. Have you seen the cost of child care? Child care costs, cost of living, people are not getting married. That is true, too. Um, women are working longer and putting kids off sometimes. There are fertility issues waiting until later years. Childcare is insane. Um that is Yeah. I can't read this.
SPEAKER_01:What is it?
SPEAKER_04:Funny, everybody is um emotionally This is the first one, emotionally immature men. I agree.
SPEAKER_01:That fool will still get you pregnant.
SPEAKER_03:I hey, that's true though.
SPEAKER_01:Those are the fools are getting you guys pregnant.
SPEAKER_03:That's true though.
SPEAKER_01:That's why a lot of women are by 2030 they're gonna be uh all single because all the freaking bums knocked them up.
SPEAKER_04:I I I kind of agree with you. Um, again, life is too expensive. Some Jasmine says, honestly, I just don't want kids. I'd rather it just be me, my husband, and my fur baby. Kind of like I was saying, people just some people just want a dog. Um just raising a child in general is expensive. I would say some people are a little bit more woke on how they spend their money now, especially with the cost of living. Um, somebody says no money. Leah says there doesn't seem to be the same expectation for women to get married and have children anymore. More women don't want to have kids, and that's okay. That's okay. That's okay.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, everybody can you can live your life how you want.
SPEAKER_04:Nobody's judging nobody, but um this one, this one gets to me. This is what worries me. So I I want more children, but um hold on. Okay, so I want more children, but this is what sometimes has me thinking. Um, Jess says, children are not safe anywhere anymore. Before the internet and social media, a lot of us lived with a blindfold over our eyes or kept it quiet due to traditional values. The values aren't the same anymore. There's no respect, and I wouldn't want my children growing up in that type of environment. It's not fair to keep them in a bubble either. I I will say that now, like, it scares me a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but that's the thing with people, man.
SPEAKER_04:Like, you can't live.
SPEAKER_01:Like, you have to be resilient. Like, other than like a dodo bird, like every living being, every living creation on this planet has to work, has to sacrifice, has to suffer to live a life.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:The salmon had to swim upstream, the bees have to go and pollinate, the bears have to go and hibernate. You know, it's like imagine if a bear woke up one day and he's like, you know what? The hell with reproducing and and going to sleep in the the dens, the hell with this, you know, it's like then they would cease to exist.
SPEAKER_04:True. And then um a whole bunch of them are pretty much the same, but one that is new, somebody says IUDs. I've never had one. I think my sisters have.
SPEAKER_01:Um so contraceptives, so concept constant contribute to lower birth rates than, huh? Um, well because now it's so easy nowadays. Or like for a young woman, hey, once you hit that age, hey, start taking this. When where where did I see But I think even studies and all that show that that's gonna give you cancer later on or it's gonna give you complications, the more you have taken it, the more damage it does later.
SPEAKER_04:I can't remember if it was a video or somebody told me that they were like that this that this lady like that has a daughter in middle school was like, oh like I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna go to the pharmacy. I have to go pick up my daughter's birth control.
SPEAKER_01:How does she?
SPEAKER_04:And the daughter's in middle school. I don't know exactly in what grade, but I'm like, see, I'm like right in the middle. Like, okay, like I'm glad that you're keeping your daughter protected, but why is she doing the deed? Oh, she's doing well if she's on birth control, she's she's not taking it for fun. Yeah, if I was a dad and I know, I it's tough, but um let me get my little closing thing.
SPEAKER_01:That's I don't even want to think about that one.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, parenting is hard. We still want more children. Um, I say one more, Nessa says two more. I don't know, we'll see.
SPEAKER_01:Imagine twins just to get over it. Two birds, one stone.
SPEAKER_04:Um okay, well, that's it. That's all I got. Um, tell us, let us know what you guys think. Yeah. What are why do you think it's slow?
SPEAKER_01:Um or declining.
SPEAKER_04:Declining? Let us know. Put it in the comments. But we had so much fun with you guys, and we will see you on next week's podcast. Bye.
SPEAKER_01:Later, guys!