Real Love, Real Life
Real Love Real Life dives into the unfiltered reality of relationships—dating, marriage, heartbreak, healing, and everything in between. It's honest talk about love and life, filled with real stories, hard truths, and the kind of laughs that come from lived experience.
No fluff, just facts, feelings, and a whole lot of growth.
Real Love, Real Life
EP 14: How Social Media Changed the Way We Grieve and Speak Out
The news hit like a siren in the living room and everything got quiet.
We talk about that moment when tragedy goes public, the rush of opinions online, and how even a simple “rest in peace” can turn into a fight on the timeline.
From there, we open up about grief, free speech, and raising kids who can think for themselves when it feels risky to speak up. We share real stories from our own lives, what shaped how we see conflict, and why real conversation matters more than outrage.
If you care about community, free speech, and raising grounded kids in a loud world, this one’s for you.
Hi guys, welcome back to Real Love, Real Life Podcast. I'm your host, Jasmine.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm Ernesto.
SPEAKER_01:How are you?
SPEAKER_00:Good. What about you? We made it.
SPEAKER_01:We made it. I'm good. Um we have like kind of a sensitive topic, but before we get started, um, I do just want to acknowledge first the passing of Charlie Kirk. I know that for a lot of people it's like, oh, it's just another, you know, like person on social media or something like that. But um, I mean, you know, I literally like I feel like I don't scroll, and whenever I was gonna give myself some time to scroll, it was like to watch, yeah, to go and find him. Um, that was like the only person I would watch when they would go live, uh, and things like that. So I I really looked up to him, I really liked him, and you know, I'm praying for him and for his family, and it's just such a sad situation.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's what's crazy, and you know, the reason why, you know, he was taken from this earth is what we're literally doing right now, exercising our first amendment and free speech on having this platform to talk and express our views, and you know, that's what I feel like is the scariest part about it is you know, you're out there exercising your right, and you know, you get taken out like that, and in front of everybody, it's like you know, they're trying to send a message, so it's like we have to, you know, be firm and you know, hold it down, but also, you know, don't hate the sinner, hate the sin. Yeah. That guy made made a bad decision, you know, and I hope the Lord forgives him, but you know, fighting fire with fire is only gonna make it worse. A knife for an eye makes the whole world blind. So we have to, you know, respond to this, you know, calculate it, not emotional. It's easy to get emotional and go get get the get back, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Especially, you know, coming from the neighborhood and all that, you know. They take one of your boys out that night, everybody's loading up to go, you know, go hit their block up, and then there's another tragedy, and it's just it's an ongoing thing. I feel like a lot of people that have no remorse for this, like you, you've never experienced that. Like, I've lost friends to the streets. Like, there was, I mean, there's multiple nights, but I remember one night specifically we're coming home from the homecoming, walking home in the neighborhood. It was about 10 o'clock at night. We were in freshman's, you know, you know, people we had problems with just rolled up, and I already knew what it was. 10 o'clock at night, it's nighttime, man. They're you know, they're they're infamous for that. I took cover behind a car. My buddy kept walking, and uh, you know, it was a bold mood, but bold move. And, you know, there's a reason why he unfortunately he got shot and I didn't. I took over, I took cover, I knew what was gonna happen, and you know, he got shot. Luckily, he's still alive to this day, but like he was literally 50 feet from 50 yards from his house. Yeah, happened right in. We used to live right by each other, like five minute walk. Yeah, and uh he literally ran home. As he ran home, his brother was on the in the hallway on the ground taking cover. Because they shot about nine times.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they shot about nine times, and then you know, so he was taking cover in the hallway, so he ran in, you know, shot, and uh, you know, his brother, you know, wrapped a shirt around him, and you know. And thankfully, I feel like the ambulance got there quick. Because by the time I was running so fast, I I I skipped my house. I just kept running. And by the time I realized, like, damn, you know, I had made it back to the neighborhood, you know, the block. And, you know, one phone call, and then his brother called me, hey, George shot. And by the time I made it back to his house, the ambulance was there, and it's just like, you know, that's one of my good friends growing up, and I was like, we don't know if we're gonna lose him or not, you know, and other friends that I'd known they passed away from getting shot, and it's like when you've dealt with this first hand, it's like, yeah, it's not a joke.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's definitely heavy, and that's why at first the topic like was going to be, you know, raising kids right now in like such a scary world, and then this happens, and the same day that that happened, you know, something tragic also happened at a school, and it's so much, it's so much, and I feel like everybody wants you to talk about it, but everybody wants you to share the way they want to hear it. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like once you gain a little bit of followers, people are like, use your platform, use your platform. Okay, I'll use my platform, but then the moment that I use it, it's like I didn't want you to use it that way. I didn't want you to say that. I wanted you to say this. Um and you can't make them happy. It was so I never really keep track of like my following and stuff, but I had I don't I don't remember what it was that I went to my profile that day. Um we were at your mom's house. What was this on Wednesday?
SPEAKER_00:Wednesday.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, and I we saw everything that had happened with Charlie Kirk. I still didn't know about the school incident in Denver. And I post about the Charlie Kirk situation. Um and well, we started celebrating your mom. You know, I I had put my phone down. I think I had made two posts about him that literally just said, like, you know, praying for like Charlie Kirk's family. It was just condolences. It wasn't again nothing, nothing political, nothing. Yeah, you're not taking shots at nobody. It was literally like rest in peace, you know. I'm so heartbroken. I I think I put that I was like beyond sad and heartbroken. That was it. And I put my phone down, we celebrated your mom. Um, again, I didn't know about the Denver situation. We had the news on the whole time, but the entire time it was playing about, you know, Charlie Kirk. So um, by the time I get home, I had lost over 200 followers because I posted Rest in Peace, Charlie Kirk.
SPEAKER_00:People were offended.
SPEAKER_01:Like the fact that people can get offended by you like acknowledging somebody that passed so tragically is that's that's different type of wickedness and that's I'm like, I first for one, I don't care. If you left, like if you hit that unfollow by see you later, like you weren't supposed to be here in the first place, and I don't want you to be here. But I thought that was so crazy. I'm like, somebody did message me and and told me, like, about you know, you're not acknowledging, you know, the kids in Denver and all that. By then I learned about it. I went, I opened up TikTok and started seeing more stuff about it. And I responded to her and I was like, hey, first of all, I didn't know anything about this because all that's been on the news and everywhere is this situation, not the other. But it doesn't make it more or less. Yeah. A tragedy is a tragedy, and you know, the loss of lives are you can't, you're not gonna, we're not gonna sit here and debate about whose life was more important. Yeah. Right? And and I'm like, really? Like people are more concerned about that than like I'm you're the problem.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You're the problem, and thanks for not being here.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's what I was thinking about at work. I'm just sitting there, like, imagine if you're having like a horrible day because your dad passed away, or somebody closely passes away, and you're sad, and somebody has, hey, what's what's wrong? Oh, so-and-so passed away. Oh man, uh, there's kids starving over here. Like, get over it. Like, yeah, I had a you know, knock some sense into you. Like, yeah, I like that's what I was thinking of that analogy. I'm just like, bro, whether you know you agree with him or not, it's like all all loss of life is tragic, but the thing about that separates this though is like, you know, like I said, every every loss is tragic, but it's like it's a political, you know, assassination. Like he's he's protecting the first First Amendment, and he gets killed for that. That's yeah, like it's it's more bigger than him at this point. That's an attack on every American citizen.
SPEAKER_01:I think at this point, like it wasn't just news, like this is something that literally like rippled through like everyone, families, the entire country, except for you know, the ones that want to be in their little bubble and think that you know it's their way or the highway. But I think really like this was something like hey, it's not like it's it's too far.
SPEAKER_00:It's too far. It's like even when you're arguing with somebody, it's like even if getting into a fist fight, that's yeah, once the first punch is thrown, it's like everything goes out the window. You know what I'm saying? Just like he said, once two the two sides stop talking, that leads to violence. So it's like you gotta think about it. Having the integrity and and all that to go and debate people, man, that's that's very powerful.
SPEAKER_01:Um, yeah, and I mean, obviously, like we didn't know him personally or anything like that. But like I said, like I liked watching him. Just like if, you know, God forbid, any other person that I would watch or you know, any other influencer or content creator, obviously, I'm going to just share about it and acknowledge it. Like it's not, it has nothing to do like with politics. It's not, I'm not like disrespecting you, I'm not disrespecting the kids that lost their life in Colorado. Yeah. Like people I think like when it comes to things like that, like then people just become like overly like sensitive. And I actually made a post about it today. I thought it was like funny because that's literally how I've been anytime something happens. I feel like any creator that like has a following can relate. Something happens, anything. People are like, speak up. You speak up, but you know, you have you have so much following that you have people with different opinions, then you have other people like no, that's not that's not it. You're not right. Yeah, and then you're like, but those are that's what I believe in, those that's what I think. And they're like, Well, now I'm unfollowing you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like, I don't know. I I think I think social media is good, but it can also be so bad.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's two sides to every coin, so just how convenient it is, it can also be very malicious, and obviously the trolls, the bullies, you know, the that can get to you, but it's just I feel like it's just very tragic because it was just that's a person with a lot of power and influence, yeah, and they took him out. So the average Joe, I mean, do you stand a chance? Most likely not.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, our kids listen to him.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's how you know his message was getting out. Like at this point, if your kids are listening to them, like listening to him, like they found him. And like I said, they never heard of me listening to him. I would it would be like a nighttime thing. I'd go, you know, once I'm winding down, I'd hop on like if they were doing a live or the podcast, anything like that. But them on their own, they started listening to him and they looked up to him. Um I will say that so we're believers in all of that, but we don't go to church. We talk about God, we talk about God to the kids, all of that, but they've kind of just been all the time like eh about it. I did notice that when they started listening to him, they were a lot more interested.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:They were looking things up, um, they downloaded the Bible app. And I think a couple of weeks ago, didn't I tell you that um I had walked into our oldest room and he was actually reading the Bible, which was like I had I had never we have two Bibles in our house and I had never seen them touch it or anything, and and he was reading it and he was like all of a sudden interested in it. And I mean, if a person has an influence on a 14-year-old kid like that, that's powerful, yeah. And I mean, that's why they want to take you out, but then again, that's the scary part because we tell our kids to be exactly like this person, right? Like, you know, stand your ground and do what you think is right, um, stand on your beliefs, but then you do it and they take you out.
SPEAKER_00:Like Yeah, it's definitely a a tough time to raise like masculine young men that um are you know selfless that think about others before themselves and you know it and for that to happen on like a national stage, it kind of it's meant to send a message of you know, you don't have a voice, but yeah, that's what makes this country great is that First Amendment, your free speech, you know, whether you know, if it's not harmful, you know, they can say whatever they want, you know. They can say, hey, you're a POS and I hate you and this and that, but at the end of the day, they have every right to tell you that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But once you stop that dialogue, it gets dangerous because like I was talking to my buddy at work, I'm like, man, I was like, coming from the neighborhood, man, you you're ready to throw hands whenever. And it's like he can articulate himself and debate, and yeah, like even as an adult, like confrontation or if you disagree with somebody, it can get very awkward with a lot of tension, but the fact that he can articulate himself and not get quote unquote like ratchet. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01:It's like, man, once you start like he I feel like he, you know, was practicing his freedom of speech, and he also, I mean, he would give you a microphone to do it too.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, debate me. I'm just like, yeah, hey, you gotta respect it. Yeah, he's 10 toes down.
SPEAKER_01:Not a lot of people like can do that.
SPEAKER_00:That's that's tough. And like there's a lot of people that gave him like good debates, but a lot of people just walked up and just got fired up and like just emotional, you know. It's like you're not gonna be able to do that. It's emotion, and it's like that's what's wrong with debating now, too. It's like we debate to win, like, no, let's just debate, or like let's just hear each other's perspective. You know what I mean? So it you don't have to win a debate necessarily. Let's just put our perspectives together, and you know, the truth is the truth, and let's talk about it, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01:You can't now. I feel like everybody is like, or majority, like way too emotional. Um, obviously, you know, it can end up like this in this tragic situation, or I feel like people want to start fighting or something like that. Like, you can't you can't sit down and and talk about someone with something because like even like look at my dad. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:This world is crazy, guys. It's like it But look at yesterday was a perfect example. Like, I wouldn't say we're we're more in the middle, but we're more on the conservative side. But not as far as like far right as you know, radicalized, just we're conservative, we believe in God, we believe in the family, you know, we believe in this country, and you know, but also we we believe in you know progression and and evolving, also education coming from a Hispanic background, you know, we don't really prioritize education, but if you know, if we don't better ourselves and you know the generations to come, we're just gonna be stuck in the same same cul-de-sac, just going in circles. Yeah. So it's like, you know, and that's the thing. I feel like you you did follow in more than me. I definitely liked a lot of his points. Some stuff I did disagree with. But um, as far as that is like, you know, he he captivated the youth. The youth loved him, they also hated him. But you just have to admire somebody with that much courage to go into the lions den and debate. Yeah. But also put God first. Because at the end of the day, man, the ones that that that speak speak his name are the ones that are persecuted.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I I will say, like, I've never, you know, I've my platform is not about politics, anything like that. Like, none of that. But I will say, like, he definitely was the reason why I started being a little bit more open as to like what I believe in and stuff. I feel like before I used to like hold it back like a lot, like I'm not gonna do that. I'm just not gonna even open that door. And and then when I started like listening to him a lot, I was like, I have to stop being like scared of that, you know? Like God is going to put the right people like in your place. People are gonna go, some people are gonna come. Like, it's it's all I I can't I can't just like close my mind into like you know, I can't lose a follower, I can't do this, like I can't no, like, you know, I rather you not like me for who I am than you like me for somebody that like I'm pretending to be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and that's the thing, you're not a gimmick, so you've always been been real on your platforms, and there is a lot of people though that have a different view, but they still follow you because they're mature. Oh yeah. And that that's that and that's what also is coming out of this, like it's it's separating the the the line between uh like deranged and obviously opposition, but they're they're like, hey, this is too far. Yeah. There's the the people that are on the opposition that are like, you know, like hey man, this is too far. And you got the people celebrating it. So this is kind of showing who who who's really wicked.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Like that's just wickedness. I don't care what nobody says. Yeah. Like, when you've lost people with a gun violence, it is not a joke. Like I've you know was crazy. That same story I was talking about earlier. That when my friend had gotten shot, that was in September of about 2010, homecoming. September or October, no, September. He got shot, right? Well, Halloween night the next month, my other buddy got shot. He got shot up close range by uh by two different guns, two different calibers, and he survived that, luckily. Um, and in following following the following year in January, my same friend that had got shot, they did a home invasion in his house and killed his brother. I actually went to that house that following, he died on, I believe like a Friday. I went there on like a Monday while they were moving their stuff out. Like seeing the bullet holes in the ground, the bullet holes through the like wall, through the fridge, like blood splattered on the blinds.
SPEAKER_01:Like That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:You know, seeing like being exposed to that as a kid, like, yeah, I put myself in those positions, but like won't you know like the aftermath of gun violence? It's it's very traumatic. And man, those bullets don't have names, man.