Real Love, Real Life
Real Love Real Life dives into the unfiltered reality of relationships—dating, marriage, heartbreak, healing, and everything in between. It's honest talk about love and life, filled with real stories, hard truths, and the kind of laughs that come from lived experience.
No fluff, just facts, feelings, and a whole lot of growth.
Real Love, Real Life
EP 20: Want More Peace at Home? It Starts with Boundaries
Healthy boundaries at home and work feel impossible when everyone expects instant access.
This episode shares real stories and practical tips for protecting your time, handling unannounced visits, work-from-home interruptions, and cultural pressures.
Learn how to set limits without conflict and reclaim your peace. Press play and start holding the line today.
So we're talking about boundaries today. I feel like that's a topic. Uh I posted it I posted about it. I posted about it yesterday and a couple of people were messaging me and they're like, I think this is so important. And I feel like in a Hispanic household, there is no boundaries. I don't know if you can agree.
SPEAKER_00:It is what it is, you know. It it's because like don't even like don't even trust your own intuition that you know you might have a creepy uncle and it's like, oh, that's your creepy uncle, give him a hug. And it's like, I don't want to give him a hug. He's gonna hug me a little tighter than he should.
SPEAKER_01:And and I think when you when you talk about that, like when you s try to set those boundaries, you're like, you're dramatic, you're the bad guy, you're the you're the problem. And you're like, I these are my boundaries. Like, and and I I I love that we discovered that because we we discovered boundaries not that long ago. Um, I feel like we were just always kind of like going with the flow. And then once we discovered, like, no, this is like people are just going like overboard. We learn we're we're still learning how to set our boundaries, but I love that like our kids are also seeing that.
SPEAKER_00:So they it's like you have to know your self-worth, but it's like you know, if your parents don't instill that, instill that in you, then it's like you're just kind of flowing through life, letting especially if you have a big heart, people are just walking all over you, and then it's just everybody just steps on you. It's like the analogy of you're trying to build your house brick by brick, people are coming and taking your bricks because you're so nice, handing them out. Yeah, everybody builds something for themselves, and you look back, you don't have nothing to show for.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Because you didn't set one boundary.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:You're just like, oh, you know, be the bigger person or or just be like, you know the you know what? I know my self-worth. I'm drawing the line, and that's where you tend to lose people is when you draw the line, and then people are like, oh, all right. But it's like, wait, were you even my friend? You may have the same blood running through your through our body, but you just showed your cards, you know. It's like it just takes one one moment for everything to fall apart, and it's like it wasn't even worth it, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you set your boundaries, and then all of a sudden, like you're you're bad. Like, or she's mean. She's mean. I feel like recently, like I've been setting boundaries with everyone. Um, and it's it's kind of hard to talk about, but I feel like I'm you know, I want to like open up about it because I want I want other people to learn how to set boundaries too. It doesn't matter with who. Like I just had to set like one of my biggest boundaries, and it was with my mom. Um, and that's hard because again, I go back to coming from a Hispanic household. How dare you? Like, she birthed you or something, but it's like, but is she like good for my mental health? Um, is she like going a little overboard? Like once once you're like taking my peace, it's not worth it. It's not worth it, especially now that like you know, I have you and we have the kids. Once you have your family, like that's your main priority.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, my our my parents live a mile down the street, and it's like you know, I'm grateful, like if you show up on a random Tuesday, but it's like if we're like doing content on Tuesday, like we're working, you know. Exactly. Yeah, we have the flexibility and the availability for you to pull up like that, but it's like, do I have to get to the point where I don't answer the door? Like, cause like, you know, you tell somebody, hey, we're working, they get offended by it, or or if it's like your friends, I there's one of your friends that they go, they'll try to FaceTime you for three hours. And it's like in three hours I could post eight videos, five videos on my TikTok, some making money off shops, some uh bringing in followers, yeah, viewers, like those three hours I can be productive, even though I love you as a friend. It's like if I was at uh I was if I was at the construction site, fight a one, like yeah, are you gonna bother me? Like how you're not bother me, but are you gonna like call me and try to FaceTime me? Or it's like it's the same thing, you have to respect that.
SPEAKER_01:And see, so speaking of this friend that is no longer my friend, um Lend somebody money, guys.
SPEAKER_00:You'll see who's a true friend.
SPEAKER_01:Lend somebody money and watch someone walk out of your life so fast, but okay, so I didn't set those boundaries when we first became friends. Even if she was an inconvenience, it was almost like I'm in the middle of of content. Um, but you know what? She's calling me, hey, like what's going on? You know, blah, blah, blah. Oh, she's just bored. She's bored, she wants to have a conversation. She just got out of work or she's driving home. So, you know, to pass. But then when I started getting really busy, like to the point where I'm recording 10, 12 videos a day, I stopped answering. And then that's when she started getting like really almost like annoyed. And then I almost felt like she would also do it like on purpose, like keep calling me. Or if she would see that I would post something, she would message me and I'd be like, So I I know I've seen like memes and stuff of saying, like, people don't answer the phone, but they'll be posting on social media. Well, yeah, but like it's my job. Yeah, like I have I have to do it, like that's my job. So she'd be like, I just saw that you posted. Um, why don't you answer me or something? And I feel like when you don't set boundaries, you almost start like resenting is that I can't let you know.
SPEAKER_00:Like resenting them? Resenting people, or you get like that ick for them, like, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_01:I started, I started getting this ick for her. And it was almost like when I would see her name drop like on my phone, I'd be like, like, what is it now? Like, what, like, why can't I just like have a moment? Or it was almost like I would also like skip through like her stories. Like, I didn't want her to see me see her stories.
SPEAKER_00:So then I was like, okay, this friendship started off really good, but I But it also was like, it was a I mean, she's cool and all that, but it was like it was she already kind of knew me who know who who knew who I was. So it's like we met this pro nah, that's gonna be too far, huh? Exposed. Sorry guys, can't tell the whole story like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, let's not do that. Um, but so the friendship started off good. We can say that. The friendship started off good. Again, I didn't set my boundaries. Like us, like we take our dinner time pretty serious. We we sit together and stuff like that. Her, not so much. You know, she likes to FaceTime her friends, or she doesn't sit down and have dinner with her husband. So, but I do. So she'd be she would want to FaceTime me like at dinner time, and I'm like, I'm not like I don't even answer like my parents or my siblings like when I'm having dinner. Like, what makes you think I'm gonna answer you? Unless you're stranded on the side of the road, you should not be calling me at dinner time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and it's like you you're my friend, you know how like my life is kind of structured. Yeah, you know when I cook dinner. I mean, you used to watch the dinner lives, so it's like you know I cook dinner. So it's like, how can you? I don't know, I guess nobody's gonna have the same heart as you. So you can't be like, Well, why ain't they doing this? Well, nobody has the same brain as you. You might be an analytical thinker, but they might just be like bloop like thought call. Instead of you, you just played it 10 times in your head. If I say this, she's doing this. What if she's already doing that? Then I'm a you know, so it's like exactly.
SPEAKER_01:But I I think, like, you know, to sum it up, I think that is why it is so important from the beginning. Yeah, I think that's where I messed up because back then I didn't I didn't even know how to set those boundaries. Again, it wasn't a thing to set boundaries because in a Hispanic household, we don't set boundaries.