Living By Default vs Living With Values; The Question That Changes Everything

Are you living aligned to your values, or are you just living by default? 

Most of us don't wake up one day and consciously decide to compromise on everything that matters. It happens slowly - like a frog in boiling water - one small "yes" when we mean "no," one compromise that becomes a pattern, until you look up and realize you're not living a life you actually chose.

In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley weaves together three powerful stories about women who got brutally clear about their non-negotiables. 

Lisa Schweighoffer (co-founder of Boost Lab) would walk away from her multimillion-dollar beauty empire in a heartbeat if it conflicts with family. 

Dr. Phoebe Rogers was having panic attacks two months before her wedding, visualising running from the altar, but almost went through with it anyway. 

And "Surfer Girl" - a listener who thought she was confused about her life choices, when really she was just negotiating for permission she didn't need.

This episode explores the mic-drop truth that "you're choosing what you don't change," why your body tells you when you're out of alignment (spoiler: it feels like sand in your undies), and why the #1 regret of the dying is never "I wish I'd worked more" - it's "I wish I'd had the courage to live true to myself."

Values-led living doesn't make your life easier. It makes your decisions clearer.

Chapters:

• [00:00] Introduction - Living Aligned vs Living By Default
• [03:20] Lisa Schway - Family First, Always
• [06:45] "You're Choosing What You Don't Change"
• [09:30] Danielle's First Marriage - Compromises by Degrees
• [14:15] Dr. Phoebe Rogers - Panic Attacks Before the Wedding
• [17:40] When Your Body Tells You You're Out of Alignment
• [20:25] Surfer Girl - The Permission Trap
• [23:35] The Treadmill Metaphor - You Can't Force Your Values
• [25:50] Bonnie Ware's #1 Regret of the Dying
• [27:20] Stop Negotiating, Start Living

Guests Featured:

• ⁠Lisa Schweighoffer⁠ (Co-founder of⁠ Boost Lab⁠)
• Dr. Phoebe Rogers - ⁠The Relationship Space ⁠(Relationship expert, author)

Resources Mentioned:

• The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware
• The Chocolate Bar Life by Danielle Colley

Connect: If you know someone negotiating for permission instead of just living their life, share this eposide with someone who needs to hear it. 

Tell us: what's your non-negotiable that you're finally ready to honour?

Connect with Danielle at @iamdaniellecolley or @bigstuffpodcast