Why Happiness Never Lasts—and Where to Find It

In this episode, we undertake a careful examination of happiness. Each of us experiences brief moments of happiness, yet we desire this happiness to be lasting and uninterrupted. When it inevitably fades, it gives rise to dissatisfaction and frustration. 

To address this, we will explore the true source of happiness and seek to understand why it eludes us despite our constant pursuit.

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jayant@staminteractive.com

Transcript

In this episode, we undertake a careful examination of happiness. Each of us experiences brief moments of happiness, yet we desire this happiness to be lasting and uninterrupted. When it inevitably fades, it gives rise to dissatisfaction and frustration. To address this, we will explore the true source of happiness and seek to understand why it eludes us despite our constant pursuit.

Introduction

We all experience moments of happiness yet defining what happiness truly is, can be difficult. Although it is something we clearly feel, putting it into words is not always easy. Many people describe happiness as an emotion that brings joy, contentment, or satisfaction. Typically, this emotion arises in response to experience: when we enjoy an experience, we feel happy; when we do not, we feel unhappy. In this sense, happiness—like all emotions—is generally a reaction to our experiences.

If we observe life around us, we notice that the sources of happiness vary widely. For some, money brings happiness; for others, a good meal, meeting old friends, doing social service or simple everyday moments are the source of joy. The reasons for happiness are numerous, and no single cause applies universally. What brings happiness to one person may not have the same effect on another. Happiness, therefore, is deeply personal and differs from individual to individual.

Yet happiness remains a subtle and elusive phenomenon. Is there a single, underlying source from which happiness arises? To explore this question meaningfully, it is helpful to first examine what happiness is not and then identify its true source. We will also consider how the experience of happiness unfolds.

External Objects or Events and Happiness

Do external objects or events give happiness? To most people it does seem so. Because we are constantly engaged with external objects, it seems happiness lies in those objects. Buy a new car, you feel happy, get a promotion, you feel happy, eat your favorite meal and you feel happy. There are many such events which give us happiness. 

We can all agree that happiness derived from external experiences is always temporary. It arises briefly, fades quickly, and is often followed by sadness because we do not want that happiness to end. This leads to an endless attempt to repeat pleasurable experiences. We try to recreate conditions that give us happiness, but life rarely cooperates. The repetition of happiness cannot be guaranteed.

Every living being seeks lasting happiness and contentment, something permanent and unchanging. Yet most people continue searching for this lasting happiness in external objects. This happens because of a fundamental error: the belief that external objects are the source of happiness. They are not, and they never can be. The following examples make this clear.

1. People often believe that eating chocolate brings happiness. The first piece gives pleasure, and perhaps the second does too. But as consumption continues, enjoyment diminishes and may even turn into discomfort. If happiness were inherent in chocolate, it would increase with quantity. Instead, it decreases. Happiness is not an ingredient of chocolate; it is projected onto it by the mind because of liking. Chocolate is simply a chocolate—the mind adds preference and value.

2. Many people believe money is the source of happiness, assuming that wealth enables unlimited enjoyment. Yet wealthy people are often unhappy, burdened by fear of loss, mistrust, or constant pressure. They may be so busy accumulating wealth that they have little time to enjoy life. Meanwhile, a person with modest means may be more content. Money is necessary for living in the world, but it is not a source of happiness. Once again, happiness is not inherent in money; it is a value superimposed by the mind.

This does show that external objects or events are not the source of happiness.  

Mind and Happiness

We have five sense organs—eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin. These organs are connected to the mind. The senses themselves do not judge or evaluate; they merely convey information from the external world to the mind. For example, the tongue reports sweetness or bitterness, but it is the mind that determines whether a particular taste is pleasant or unpleasant.

In the waking state, the senses are continuously active, transmitting information to the mind. The mind processes these sensory inputs and presents them to the ego. The ego naturally seeks experiences it finds agreeable and avoids those it finds disagreeable. Agreeable experiences give rise to happiness, while disagreeable experiences result in unhappiness.

Vedanta refers to this process as rāga which means liking and dveṣa, which means disliking. When the ego encounters sense objects, it superimposes like and dislike upon them. It pursues objects it likes, believing they are the source of happiness, and attempts to avoid experiences associated with unhappiness.

Does this mean that the mind is the source of happiness? A closer examination shows that this cannot be the case. The mind is fickle and constantly changing. An object that appears to be a source of happiness today may become a source of misery tomorrow. There is nothing stable or consistent about the mind. Such an erratic and unstable mind can never be the source of lasting happiness. According to Vedanta, the mind is not the source of happiness but rather the primary obstacle to realizing enduring happiness. While the mind may appear to provide fleeting moments of pleasure, it can never offer the permanent and unchanging happiness that every human being seeks.

Deep Sleep and Happiness?

We have seen that neither external objects nor the mind can be the true source of happiness. If that is so, then what is the source of happiness? The answer becomes clear when we properly understand the state of deep sleep. When we go to sleep, we generally pass through two distinct states.

1. Dream Sleep:
In dream sleep, we experience dreams. Although we are disconnected from the external world, we continue to experience an internal dream world created by impressions stored in the subconscious mind. The sense organs are inactive, yet the mind projects images, situations, and experiences based on past memories. Some dreams are pleasant, while others can be disturbing or frightening. Since both pleasure and pain are experienced in dreams, the dream state cannot be the source of lasting happiness.

2. Deep Sleep:
In deep sleep, there are no dreams and no experience of the external world. There are no perceptions, no thoughts, and no feelings. The mind is inactive, the ego is absent, and there is no awareness of the body or the world. In this state, there appears to be nothing at all. Yet, upon waking, everyone reports having slept peacefully and blissfully. People commonly say, “I slept very well” or “I had a deep, restful sleep.” Deep sleep is universally enjoyed by all.

This observation is significant. During deep sleep, there are no external objects, no mind, and no ego, yet happiness or contentment is still experienced. This clearly indicates that happiness does not originate from external objects or from the mind. Instead, the source of happiness must lie deeper—within oneself.

Source of Happiness

What is there within us that is the true source of happiness? From the standpoint of Vedanta, the answer becomes clear when we examine the state of deep sleep. During deep sleep, the only thing present is you—the Real Self. There is no external world, no body, no mind, and no ego. The ego appears only in the waking state when identification with the body arises. In deep sleep, all of this is absent. 

Bliss and happiness are not produced in deep sleep; they are revealed when all distractions subside. Thus, bliss is the very nature of the Real Self.

If you are a student of Vedanta, you would learn that the Real Self is SatChitAnanada. We have discussed this topic in detail in my episode “Who Am I”. Here we discuss this briefly. 

Sat (Reality)

Sat means that which is real—something that exists in all three periods of time: past, present, and future. Anything that comes into existence and later ceases to exist cannot be Sat. The universe itself came into being approximately 13.7 billion years ago and therefore did not exist prior to that. For this reason, nothing in nature qualifies as Sat.

The only thing that is truly Sat is your inner core, the Real Self. It existed before the birth of the body and continues to exist even after the body perishes. This is not an easy concept to grasp, but according to Vedanta, it is the fundamental Truth. The Real Self is uncreated, uncaused, unchanging, and ever‑present.

Chit (Awareness)

Chit means Awareness and it is the nature of Sat. This Awareness is self‑aware—the Self knows itself. Here, the Self is both the subject (the observer) and the object (that which is observed). There is no separation between knower and known. This non‑dual awareness carries with it a sense of completeness and fullness.

Because there is no division within the Self, Awareness is whole and indivisible. This is the essence of non‑duality taught in Vedanta.

Ananda (Bliss)

Ananda means happiness or bliss—but not the fleeting pleasure we experience in daily life. Ananda refers to your essential nature. Since the Real Self is complete, self‑sufficient, and independent, it does not require anything external to feel fulfilled. This state of completeness naturally expresses itself as continuous and unbroken bliss.

Because the Real Self is both the subject and the object, nothing is lacking. This absence of limitation is Ananda.

An Analogy

The Real Self can be compared to a bulb shining within us. Its nature is to radiate Awareness (Chit) and Happiness (Ananda) continuously. Just as the sun shines without effort, the Real Self effortlessly radiates awareness and bliss.

When an object comes into the field of Awareness, the ego becomes aware of that object. Similarly, when the ego comes into contact with the ever‑present light of happiness, happiness is felt. Happiness is not created at that moment—it is merely recognized.

Why Is Happiness or Ananda Blocked?

A natural question arises: If our inner core is continuously shining happiness, why don’t we feel it? Why don’t we recognize it? Vedanta explains that there are two main reasons for this.

1. Thoughts

Thoughts are the primary obstacle. They block the light of happiness, and as a result, we do not notice or experience it. In the waking state, the mind is almost always active with thoughts. Most thoughts arise due to perceptions from the five senses, while others arise from thoughts trying to fulfill desires. The mind is rarely quiet.

These continuous thought waves prevent the light of happiness from reaching us. This is the main problem.

Consider a simple example. You develop a desire to eat ice cream. This thought becomes dominant in your mind and blocks the light of happiness. You find it difficult to focus on anything else. To satisfy this thought, you go to the fridge and eat the ice cream. Once the desire is fulfilled, the thought subsides and temporarily disappears.

When this thought subsides, the mind becomes momentarily thought‑free. In that brief thoughtless state, the light of happiness shines through, and you feel happy. Notice carefully: happiness is not contained in the ice cream. It is experienced only when the desire‑thought subsides and the mind comes in contact with the ever‑present light of happiness.

Unfortunately, this happiness does not last long. Soon another thought or desire arises and once again blocks the light of happiness. This cycle continues endlessly. Thus, thoughts repeatedly block happiness and prevent it from being experienced.

If you closely observe your thoughts, you will notice that there is always a small gap between two thoughts. During this gap, the light of happiness does shine through, and a subtle sense of happiness is felt. However, this gap is usually so brief that we fail to notice it.

If the gap between two thoughts increases, the experience of happiness becomes more noticeable and longer‑lasting. A calm mind has fewer thoughts and larger gaps between thoughts, whereas an agitated mind has many thoughts with almost no gaps. Naturally, a calmer mind experiences more happiness.

For this reason, practices that calm the mind—such as prayer, meditation, breath control, and similar disciplines—are helpful. When the mind becomes quiet during these practices, the light of happiness is felt. However, this solution is usually temporary. Once the practice ends and the mind re‑engages with the world, thoughts return and again block the light of happiness. Therefore, while calming the mind is beneficial, it is not a permanent solution.

2. Ignorance

The second and deeper reason is ignorance of our true nature. We are born ignorant of the Real Self. Although the source of happiness lies within us, we habitually search for happiness in the external world. This is the greatest tragedy.

From birth, the mind is trained to engage only with the external world. This conditioning becomes deeply rooted. As a result, ignorance covers the true source of happiness within us, and we continue to seek happiness outside—in objects, relationships, achievements, and experiences.

This ignorance blocks our recognition of the inner source of happiness. We do not realize that happiness is our very nature.

When this ignorance is removed and you discover your inner core, you recognize that you are already part of the light of happiness. There is no separation between you and happiness. This realization is a permanent solution.

Once you abide by this source of happiness, the pleasure and pain arising from external objects no longer disturb you. External circumstances may change, but they no longer have the power to create misery. Happiness is no longer something to be acquired—it is simply known as what you truly are.

Self-Love and Happiness

Love and happiness are inseparably connected. We are drawn to people, objects, and pursuits because they bring us happiness; without this experience of fulfillment, love would not arise. Upon reflection, it becomes evident that all forms of love are motivated by the happiness they provide. If something consistently fails to bring happiness, it does not remain an object of love.

This insight leads to a subtle but important conclusion: the object of our deepest love is ourselves. Love for parents, children, friends, or others is secondary to this fundamental self‑love, as we cherish them because they contribute to our sense of happiness and well‑being. Without this inner satisfaction, such love would not endure.

Many resist this idea, perceiving it as selfish or self‑centered. They may argue that their actions are motivated solely by concern for the happiness and welfare of others. However, a closer examination reveals that even these actions are sustained by the fulfillment and contentment they bring to the individual.

The underlying motivation behind seemingly selfless actions becomes clearer when we examine everyday examples.

1. Parents make significant sacrifices for their children’s education, needs, and well‑being. When the children grow up and succeed, the parents experience happiness and a deep sense of fulfillment. This satisfaction reveals that their sacrifices are ultimately driven by the happiness they derive from their children’s well‑being. Self‑satisfaction, therefore, plays a central role even in acts that appear entirely selfless.

2. The same pattern is evident in people who work selflessly for their country, community, or religious causes. Such service provides a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and inner joy. The happiness derived from these actions sustains the effort and commitment, indicating that personal fulfillment is an essential motivating factor.

An illustrative anecdote involves former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln. On one occasion, he reportedly rescued a pig trapped in the mud, even though the effort soiled his clothes. When asked why he intervened, Lincoln explained that he acted not solely to relieve the pig’s suffering, but to relieve his own distress at witnessing it. His action restored his peace of mind.

These examples suggest that self‑satisfaction—one’s own happiness—is the underlying motivation behind even the most selfless acts. While the actions benefit others, they are ultimately sustained by the inner fulfillment they bring to the individual.

This principle is articulated with clarity in verse 2.4.5 of the Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upanishad. In this dialogue, the sage Yājñavalkya instructs his wife, Maitreyi, on the nature of the inner Self and the true source of love and happiness. He explains that love is not directed toward others for their own sake, but for one’s own fulfillment. As the text conveys:

“It is not for the sake of the husband that he is loved, but for one’s own sake.”
 “It is not for the sake of the wife that she is loved, but for one’s own sake.”
 “It is not for the sake of the sons that they are loved, but for one’s own sake.”

These statements reveal a profound truth: we do not love our spouse, children, or others for their sake alone, but because they connect us to the happiness within ourselves. What we truly love is the inner source of happiness that these relationships appear to provide. Please take a moment to think about this. 

We hope this discussion has given a good understanding about lasting Happiness. We saw, due to ignorance, we mistakenly attribute happiness to external people and objects, believing them to be its source. In reality, they merely reflect or reveal the happiness that already exists within us. Recognizing this inner source is essential to discovering lasting happiness.

If you’re interested in delving deeper into topics like this, we invite you to discover more in my book, Science Meets Vedanta, available on Amazon. Additionally, we now have a library of around 35 podcasts covering many different topics —feel free to browse through them at your convenience.

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